Journeys to Judaism

Continued from Page Three route" to conversion, Chessin says.

"I got a lot of calls in the last year or two. There seems to be an increase. I have a group, I call them ABD, All But Dipped. These are people who have been around for a while, and that's my biggest group: people who were saying, OK, now is the time."

Chessin's group comprises women from their early 20s through their 40s. Each, she says, would like to hold her formal conversion at the mikvah on a Rosh Chodesh, the start of a Jewish month. Her group meets as a collective.

"I think they need community, and they need bravery," Chessin says. "They need someone to go into cold places with. And so this was the first time I ever put a group together, and they really seem to like it, that they have each other."

Those in the conversion process or who have recently converted to Judaism at Temple Beth Or preferred not to be interviewed by The Observer.

"There's kind of an insecurity too," Chessin says. "Am I valid? Should I be talking about it, or should I just find my place quietly for the moment?"

'Tickling in the back of my brain'

Kit Brewer, 23, of Germantown, received their bachelor's degree in individualized studies from Miami University in January. Their thesis was on gender, learning theory, and visual media. Kit has worked as a substitute teacher for Valley View Local Schools and has taught religious school at Temple Israel.

"I didn't ever really meet Jewish people until I went to college," Kit says. "But as I got there and I was meeting Jewish people, it started tickling in the back of my brain."

The household Kit grew up in was not religious. Prior to Judaism, Kit was a practicing pagan for about a decade.

By Kit's last semester in college last August, they called Temple Israel.

"I asked, 'I'm not Jewish. Am I able to come in and attend a service?' And they said, 'Absolutely.' So that next Friday, I walk in and immediately get adopted by a bunch that have been going for 30-plus years. And I've been there pretty much every week since."

Bodney-Halasz guided Kit through the conversion process.

"She knew exactly how to hook me," Kit says. "The first book she gave me was a big collection of essays about Jewish perspectives on sexuality and sex. I didn't feel that I had to change anything about myself to approach Reform Judaism."

In February, after about nine months of study, Kit emerged from the mikvah as a Jew.

"I'm a bit of an overachiever. It was a bit on a fast track. I was reading a lot. Just tearing through stuff. She would send me home with a stack of books and I'd be done with it in a couple of weeks."

Kit is now considering entering the rabbinate.

Perspectives and discussions

Angela Montjar, 44, says it was the darkness of trauma that drew her to Judaism on her journey of more than two decades.

"I've been through not nice things in my life," the Springfield resident says. She was also drawn to understand how the horror of the Holocaust could happen and was curious about mysticism surrounding death and resurgence.

"I had a nervous breakdown when I was about 19 — and after that, things never really jelled for me," Angela says. "So anytime that I was feeling particularly hurtful or didn't know what was going on, it was not Christian God, it was Jewish God. I needed Jewish God because it meant more to me. And it was more comfortable to me."

Around that time, she had a Jewish boyfriend. She learned a lot from him, she says, particularly about Kabalah.

After reading Daniel Mendelsohn's The Lost: A Search for Six of Six Million last year, Angela decided to start researching Judaism again.

She appreciated how inclusive the language was at Temple Sholom's website and contacted Rabbi Cary Kozberg.

Angela decided to visit the Springfield congregation on Purim in 2022, "because it's such a happy kind of holiday."

Once she spoke to the rabbi, she started coming regularly. She now studies with him toward her conversion.

"One of the things I like so much about Judaism is that you have all these different perspectives and then you talk about them. We have discussions about the parsha (Torah portion), what we read, what we're singing, we're talking about prayers."

Angela notices that some Jews she encounters are uncomfortable talking about God. She and Kozberg have talked about this.

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"The center of why God is not discussed, I think, is because God is so personal," she says. "It's a personal definition existing within us, and we don't want to try and force that on anybody else."

She's also asked the rabbi about Judaism's perspectives on mental health.

"That was kind of important to me. He essentially said you can't just deny science."

'The more I learned, the more I couldn't stop'

Mariah Strickland, 32, of Kettering, says she was always interested in Jewish religion and culture.

"I read book after book, listened to Jewish cultural music, visited historically important Jewish places, and tried to consume as much Jewish culture as I could," she notes.

What stopped her from becoming Jewish earlier in her life? She didn't know that a person could convert to Judaism.

Mariah says she was intimidated, too.

"Once I realized that conversion was possible, I started to learn more about that path for myself."

Her current journey began in 2009, when she was diagnosed with stage 4 uterine leiomyosarcoma.

"I've definitely always been someone who had a strong belief in God but didn't really find a particular religion or niche that I felt encapsulated everything I felt. I was looking into, if God is good, why is there evil? Why do people suffer? What happens after we pass?"

Mariah's best friend from middle and high school — who converted when she married a

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Conservative Jew — suggested she consider Judaism. "I hear from a lot of converts that there's just this moment of alignment or feeling of coming home or clicking into place," Mariah says. "And it definitely felt that way."

Last fall, she signed up for the Introduction to Judaism course, offered each year by the Synagogue Forum of Greater Dayton.

"And the more I learned, the more I couldn't stop. I started going to Temple Israel. I've been craving to be around people that have this idea of, there's more than just the day-to-day in our lives, and that we're all going in the same place, holding very similar beliefs. And that's been really comforting in kind of answering or at least being able to sit with the unknowns."

Mariah studies for her conversion with BodneyHalasz. "It would be best if we took the whole year at least to kind of go through the whole cycle of holidays. But with my situation, it would kind of depend on how things go. I will definitely look to convert before my health gets too bad. Because if I get to a point where I can't walk, or if I'm hospital-bound, I don't think having my mikvah is going to be very possible at that time.

"But I'm still in the process of learning, so much that I don't feel like I'm ready anytime soon. I'm trying to absorb as much as I can."

'I just felt like I was at home'

Alexandria King, 26, grew up in Trotwood. She is a direct support professional in a group home, assisting individuals with developmental disabilities.

"I've been working at the same house for almost seven years now, and I've been helping the same four guys," Alexandria says.

"Growing up, I was raised as a Christian. My mom was more religious than my dad. I'd probably describe my dad as agnostic. He's one of the people who just tries to be a good person," she says.

"I went to a lot of churches growing up, but that changed when my mom passed away back in 2006 when I was 9 years old."

A year before Alexandria was born, her parents lost a child, a daughter, before the child's first birthday.

It fell to Alexandria's father to raise the four remain- ing children himself.

"I'm sure it was a big struggle for him. I can only imagine. He doesn't reach out a lot. He's my role model."

Alexandria says she struggled with her religion for years ever since her mom died.

"How can there be a God if something like this happens? How would a loving God let something like this happen? It's a struggle with, if God would let something like this happen, why should I worship him?"

For a while, she was an atheist. What pushed her toward Judaism, Alexandria says, was the time she spent on TikTok.

"The algorithm had, for some reason, pushed me toward a lot of Jewish creators. They would talk about their religion and aspects of the religion. And I thought, that makes sense."

Alexandria made an appointment with Temple Israel's Rabbi Karen Bodney-Halasz earlier this year.

"Specifically on their website it says we are open to the LGBT community. That meant a lot to me. Because being in the LGBT community, you become a bit wary of even a lot of the more so-called accepting religious institutions. You get that 'love the sinner, hate the sin' mentality."

Alexandria had come out first as bisexual and then as transgender in high school.

"I went to Rabbi Karen and she was just super welcoming. She seemed very excited to work with me. When people want to put that effort in for you, you have to put the same effort in, if not more."

The next week, she attended her first temple service. "I just felt like I was at home. That's the best way I can describe it. During the kiddush, I just felt this burst of energy in me. And everything just felt right. And I felt at home. Like I was where I belonged. And every time since that I've been in temple, I've just felt the same feeling of belonging, of being home."

She notes a shared history of trauma in the LGBTQ and Jewish communities.

"The Nazis killed queer men alongside Jewish men. The LGBTQ community went through the AIDS crisis. A lot of people in the LGBTQ community have been Jewish, like Harvey Milk. That was another reason why I was drawn into the Jewish community: because I was very aware of the overlap. And I felt that joining a community that had overlap — and having my voice in there — would help make both of our voices stronger."

Alexandria is now in the process with Bodney-Halasz of learning to live as a Jew, "trying to integrate myself into the culture, doing what feels right for me."

Newish to Jewish

The first holiday service Alexandria attended was Purim. For her first Passover experience, she participated in Temple Israel's Newish To Jewish hands-on learning program.

Bodney-Halasz and longtime congregant Tom Bainbridge — who converted to Judaism years ago — came up with Newish to Jewish last summer as a post-conversion program. Tom is its chair.

"We did our first program in November, a Chanukah program," Tom says. "Chanukah, in general, can be a difficult time if you're in a family with a mixed religion. Trying to celebrate Chanukah when Christmas is so pervasive in our culture, it can be overwhelming. We wanted to help support people for that time of year."

Participants also learned how to make latkes. Along with the discussions at the Passover program, they made charoset for the Seder plate.

"We also include some mentors at the programs, some longstanding members — some of them Jews by choice — to answer questions and help in the discussion part of it."

Newish to Jewish is open to the entire community. The next program will be held in conjunction with the fast day of Tisha B'Av, at 7 p.m., Thursday, July 27.

Co-chairing Newish to Jewish is Nick Schmall, who converted through Temple Israel in August 2021. He's a physics professor at Clark State College in Springfield.

Forming a relationship with God

"I grew up in a really religious household," Nick, 46, says. "Both my parents were Catholic, but my mom was primarily the inspiration. I always enjoyed

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