Quairading Pink, cocktail!

El Toro, best (only) in show!

Witicisms

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.

I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.

The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Just paid $200 for a belt that doesn’t fit! What a huge waist!

What do you call a magician who loses his magic? Ian.

Lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus. That’s how I lost my job as a bus driver.

I was researching about Atheism. Turns out it’s a non-prophet organization.

What do you call a typo on a headstone? A grave mistake.

I named my dog “5 miles.” So that I could frequently say, “I am going to walk 5 miles now.”

I saw a 1000 year old oil stain… It was from ancient Greece.

I was in a grocery store when a man started to throw cheese, butter and yoghurt at me. How Dairy!

I had a fun childhood. My dad used to push me down the hill in old tires. They were Goodyears.