MAP

Tips for Managing Conflict

For many, enduring life means navigating how to manage interpersonal disputes.

Research shows a downward trend in terms of societal unity over the past several years; and in 2021, the United States ranked number one for perceived division amongst its citizens of all “economically advanced” countries surveyed (Canada ranked 11). Moreover, a January 2022 poll showed a 23 percent decrease in optimism over the nation’s ability to reconcile personal differences.

Family discord and divorce rates are spiking, approximately 85 percent of workers experience negative workplace encounters, and the widespread accessibility of social media platforms has vastly accelerated the likelihood of becoming entangled in interpersonal conflict.

Given the psychological, social, occupational, and even physical health issues that mismanaged conflict can cause, cultivating the skills to better de-escalate and resolve conflict is crucial. Here are some conflict management tips to help navigate any negative encounter.

BE AWARE OF HOW ‘EGOCENTRISM’ CAN NEGATIVELY IMPACT OUR OWN FLEXIBILITY.

Although we generally have a negative association with the word ‘egocentrism,’ it is a common tendency where people have difficulty seeing others point of view. Just knowing that this exists though allows us to start stepping out of it.

Even when we don’t agree with another’s point of view, our acknowledgment that theirs feels as true to them as ours does to us, can help us be less rigid and more flexible as we approach resolution.

PAUSE AND ASSESS.

With less rigidity and more flexibility, individuals can pause and assess the situation from a more balanced and empowered place. The simplest question to ask yourself at this point is whether your approach is more constructive or destructive. If the answer is more destructive, attempt to ‘short circuit’ the damaging thoughts and behaviors.

Immediately stop use of any threats and inflammatory language. De-escalate by setting limits, stepping away when feasible, thinking about your internal bodily sensations (such as a racing heart or tensed shoulders), or thinking about what the root issue of the conflict is.

IDENTIFY COMMUNICATION BARRIERS AND WORK TO BREAK THEM DOWN.

Accusatory language, criticism, defensiveness, withdrawal, and avoidance are a few examples of communication barriers. Work to identify which barriers are hurting your communication in the situation at hand and make earnest efforts to overcome them.

Perspective, mindfulness, emotional regulation, active listening and reserving judgement are examples of tools that are effective in helping to break down communication barriers.

HIGHLIGHT COMMON GOALS.

Even when they seem nearly impossible to identify, there are almost always shared goals to be found amongst disputing individuals. By orienting your focus towards overcoming the problem versus the person themself, a collaborative effort can be made to arrive at a mutually agreed upon solution. Collectively aiming for forward movement is a strong predictor of successful conflict management.

Whether it’s involvement in a dispute with a neighbor, a workplace conflict, or a pattern of arguing with one’s spouse, there are few people who wouldn’t benefit from improving their conflict management skills.

If you or a loved one needs help with managing conflict, please call MAP for free, confidential support at 1-833-MAP-TALK, Monday through Friday 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. EST. //