For Middle School Parents from David Young

MIDDLE SCHOOL 2013/2014 As we begin the school year we felt it was important to provide you with as much relevant information about the year ahead as we could. Middle School can feel very new to both our boys and you, their parents.

Here is the challenge. When your son begins his journey into early adolescence he wants to feel he is growing into independence. It poses quite a parenting tightrope. On one hand it is no longer cool or helpful to be seen around your son’s locker area helping him get ready for the day, but on the other hand he really needs your support on a deeper level than ever before. On one hand he will likely stop rushing home to give you a big hug and a full and enthusiastic account of the day (good or fine will likely sum up how the day was), but on the other he really wants to know you are interested in his life.

On one hand he wants to do his work his own way, even when it is clear to you he is going wrong, but on the other he really wants you to be proud of his efforts and part of his journey.

It can be a tough for us as parents as for the first time we can feel on the outside of our son’s school life, and yet we in the Middle School recognize it is precisely the time when your son needs your discerning guidance and support more than ever.

Please find below an extract taken from a booklet we wrote called Journey through Middle School—A Parent’s Guide. It provides a clear view of Middle School and why our communication with you becomes important.

So, welcome to another year in Crescent’s Middle School. We look forward to you continuing to be an integral part of this moment in your son’s life through your discerning support of all that we do.

Middle School is a wonderfully unique moment in a boy’s life. It is a moment when he arrives at the borders of adulthood and begins to navigate his way towards crafting the kind of young man he wants to become.

As with all first attempts at anything we try in life there is a likelihood of much trial and error. He will stumble on some moments of joyous success and affirmation of who he is and wants to become. He will also make some notable wrong turns when he discovers areas of himself that he feels are not the kind of man he wants to become.

Character and academics after all are not prescribed steps but rather an individual journey that looks different for everyone.

Of course this voyage of discovery doesn’t happen in a vacuum but rather happens in classrooms and hallways where 79 other boys are going on their very own voyage which will involve completely different successes and failures. Each boy’s journey rubs against the next boys creating that complex friction we call community.

We are compelled to see the pivotal nature of these tender years of discovery. We appreciate how vital it is to understand our boys as well as we possibly can, and surround them with compassionate mentoring; with teachers who care about the whole boy, and who patiently and firmly guide him to his best.

Middle School is an incredibly short period of time—two brief although intense years. It means that boys, and just as importantly parents, are just getting used to life in the Middle School when it is finished. This

means that parents are not afforded the same time to cultivate a community culture and a genuine understanding of the uniqueness of Middle School.

I am determined that you feel a strong connection to the role Crescent Middle School will play in this vital period in your son’s life. I want you to be able to access immediately the vibrant Middle school culture so that we, at Crescent, have the best chance of complimenting all that you do for your son.

Beginning the journey with as much insight as possible will hopefully offset the short time we have together in Middle School, and therefore insure we can work supportively together to build a strong foundation on which your son will grow into being his individual, unique man of character.

—David Young, Head of Middle School

Helpful Information for the start of school FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL Grade 7 students will arrive at 8:30 a.m. and will meet Mr. Young, Mr. Dion and their teachers outside of the CCL main entrance in The Guild Courtyard.

Grade 8 students will arrive at 10:45 a.m. and will enter the Lau Family Wing on the 300 level (entrance by Mr. Young’s office) and will look for the posted class lists.

Boys will need to bring their athletic gear for the Fall Term tryouts that will take place at 3:30 p.m.

More details, and what you will need, are in the Back-to-School magazine you received in the summer mailing, or please go to the Green Room.

FALL TERM TRYOUTS There will be tryouts for the U14 and U13 Fall Term athletic teams (cross-country, soccer, volleyball) beginning on Tuesday, Sept. 3 and will run all week. Your son should bring his athletic/phys.ed. uniform and gear.

Please check the Green Room under Athletics for more information and tryout schedules. This can be a little overwhelming, but please don’t worry as we will be here to help your son, and coaches are very understanding.

SUPPLIES AND UNIFORM Each student will need all of the basic supplies to begin the school year. The boys will find out any specifics they might for each class as they visit and get to know their teachers before we head out on BEAR Week. We have found this a better way for boys to thoughtfully gather the resources they will need for school as opposed to the giant pre-school Staples trip.

Uniforms can be purchased at the Coyote’s Den. Number One dress is needed for the first day of school and for special occasions such as assemblies, ceremonies and concerts. For more details on uniform, please see the Family Handbook or Green Room.

BEAR WEEK During the first week of school, the students spend most of the week getting familiar with their new environment, their subject classes and their peers and teachers. The following week—from Tuesday, Sept. 10 to Friday, Sept. 13—the entire school heads out on BEAR Week. The focus of these trips is character, leadership and community building.

Grade 7 BEAR Week: Orientation and Community Building For our Grade 7s, they will spend the first day at school, the second on Toronto Island and then will go to Beausoleil Island for the remainder of the week.

Grade 8 BEAR Week: The Emerging Leader For the Grade 8s, they will be away in Haliburton for the week. Please make sure to check the Green Room for all of the details and please fill out the online form. More details will be given to your son while at school.

ONLINE FORMS The following contracts and consent forms need to be completed online before the beginning of the school year: Physical Education and Athletic Consent, Concussion History, Code of Character Contract, the Acceptable Computer Use Contract and the Photo/Media Consent.

LOCKERS Your son will be assigned a locker for the year, and he will need a lock, which needs to be purchased from the Coyote’s Den. At drop-off or pickup, please do not enter the locker area; you can meet your son in the CCL Main Foyer Lobby, CCL Orchestra Lobby, or in the hallway outside of Mr. Young’s office.

CRESCENT CAFÉ The café is open for breakfast during most school days. The café is off limits to the Middle School students after 8:25 a.m. The boys must purchase and eat their food in the café. The café is cash only. Please be aware that the café can be closed at relatively short notice when the lobby is being used for other school activities so is not always available for breakfast—we do our best to let the boys know about any upcoming closures.

CURRICULUM NIGHT Curriculum Night will take place on Thursday, Sept. 19 from 6:30-8:30p.m. in the CCL (Centre for Creative Learning) and Lau Family Wing. This evening is a great opportunity for you to meet your son’s teachers and mentor, and is a wonderful community opportunity in the Middle School. This face-to-face experience allows for stronger communication and improves the working relationships between parent and school. You will get a better understanding of the academic and mentoring programs, and ultimately what your son will experience in the upcoming year.

ACADEMICS All of your son’s classes will have information online in the Green Room. Most of his homework will be posted there, but it is his responsibility to keep a record of his homework and assignments. An area of growth for all our boys is learning to become better organized and it is VITAL that you let him do this with a new level of independence. It is important that you understand that this takes time—it can be really frustrating as a parent—and it can have some new impacts on his academic journey, ones you may never have seen before.

For example you may see the first missed deadlines, poorly revised test results or feelings of being overwhelmed. There is lots of support here through both Mentors and teachers. The challenge for parents is to be supportive and involved without doing all the organizing. Your son absolutely must be independent by Grade 9 so he needs you to allow him to learn. Middle School is a safe place in which to make mistakes, your son must be adventurous and ambitious in his learning, and to find a methodology of organizing himself that works for him.

BYOD As you know, Middle School and Upper School have a program of technology integration called BYOD (Bring Your Own Device). We arrived at this model after a lot of considered thought. BYOD is designed to allow each family, and each boy, the flexibility to find and use a device through which he can most effectively access the curriculum for his own learning style, and in a way that is compatible with his family’s expectations and home culture.

We see the advantages of having technology immediately available so that a Middle School boy’s creativity and innovation can be tapped into whenever and wherever he needs. It can make for some truly spectacular results. It is however vital that this remains a tool through which the curriculum can be accessed on a deeper and more creative level. No more and no less.

It is also important to be reminded that this tool is placed against the backdrop of early adolescence, a central and fundamental point of understanding that we are seeking to ensure is our priority in all we do.

In this light it is also important that our boys are guided to use technology appropriately, at the right times and in the right ways. For example, social media and gaming are fun activities, but for our boys (at this age) can become a strong draw that works against our goal of facilitating quality learning. These are also areas where parental guidance and family preferences is key, and as such we want the Middle School to be an area where both activities are seen as home activities, and not for school.

Last year was the first year of the BYOD program in the Middle School. We experienced many successes and also teething problems. It was wonderful to have such productive and supportive feedback from our parent community after the year ended. Two areas in particular were most commonly shared, that of gaming during school and that of our boys learning to take better notes on their devices. We are looking forward to working with you on both areas in this coming year and I would be keen to continue to hear your thoughts as the year progresses.

Developing our French Program The unique makeup of the Middle School is a wonderful thing. Having boys come from our Lower School and mix with boys new to the School makes for a brilliant and vibrant variety which enhances all we do.

It does of course lead to a huge variety of learning experiences and interests, and it is the responsibility of us, as Middle School faculty, to ensure that each boy with his own skills, experiences and interests, finds a way to develop whilst in the Middle School.

A subject in which this variety and ability is seen at its most diverse in the Middle School is in French.

Boys arrive to Grade 7 having no French experience through to boys who have been in an immersed setting, and everything in between.

The goal of the Middle School French Program is to allow each boy to arrive at Grade 9 ready to take advantage of our advanced French programs. To allow for this, we seek to provide a variety of differentiation that will allow each boy to find his path to developing his French from his own starting point, and being challenged to move forward from that point, be that as a beginner or as a boy who is fluent.

Differentiation takes various forms from the use of Rosetta Stone, work and assessments using clickers (which allows a boy anonymity to develop at his own pace in a class setting), to group work designed to allow boys who are strong in French to lead other boys.

An additional differentiator we have added is to have two different French classes—one taught in French only, and one taught in both English and French. Both classes will tackle the same curriculum and will complete the same assessments, but one class will have the atmosphere of an immersed setting, whereas one will allow for various questions to be answered in English, to ensure progress can be made for those who would value this.

French will be timetabled to allow this mixing of the classes, and there is the flexibility for a boy to move between classes until he finds the fit that works best for him.

An important role will be played by you, the parent, in ensuring this works to the advantage of your son. A strong degree of trust and collaboration will be needed with our French teachers. So please expect communication from them in the coming weeks as they begin to meet with your sons to establish where they might best develop their French language skills.

By definition, one thing we cannot replicate is that of the immersed setting, although I know that families from an immersed background have a clear understanding of that.

The Academic Journey The Middle School faculty understands that building a strong relationship with a young adolescent boy is paramount to his academic success. Once these relationships are created, these young men will feel comfortable taking risks, and challenging themselves to explore new ideas, and gain a better understanding of themselves and the world in which they live. The faculty and your son’s mentor will be with him throughout the entire journey through Middle School.

Optimal learning occurs when our students are immersed in a challenging curriculum at the periphery of their abilities. The faculty has developed challenging programs where the diverse abilities of our students are recognized in order to create an environment where each boy can reach his full potential. Students will be given the chance to develop as innovative and inquisitive learners as they take more responsibility for their learning and move towards independence.

We want you, the parents, to be part of your son’s academic journey and here are some areas where we would appreciate your support: Organization: For many of our boys, having a rotary timetable is something new, and can often lead to difficulties with organizing their work, and their time. Organization is one of the most important learning skills needed to support your son’s journey towards independence and academic success. The boys will have agendas, and will be able to access most of their work in the Green Room. Please feel free to help your son with his time management at home, or to contact his Mentor for guidance. A real asset in helping with your son’s organization of work and time management is the Homework Club, which is open to all of boys after school.

Adventurous Learning: The Middle School focuses on instilling a love for learning as we support the boys to help find their passions. The curriculum is challenging and we want our students to take risks and become adventurous learners. Young adolescent boys can often focus on the end product (the mark), and not on the journey. And so, we welcome your support on guiding your son to become an adventurous and passionate learner, to embrace the challenges and failures that will always accompany adventurous learning and to focus on the journey.

Collaboration: Your son will be given plenty of opportunity to work and learn with others.

Compromising, accepting their ideas and having to trust their peers can be difficult for young adolescent boys. This is normal in the Middle School, which is why we see the need to guide the boys on how to properly collaborate with others.

Exams: For many of our Grade 7s, they will for the first time write a final exam in June. However, we try to make it clear to them that it is only a learning experience designed to better prepare them for Upper School, and we ask for your help to deliver a similar message. Beginning in September, you will notice that our language to the boys will focus more on the effort than on the result, or in other words, more on the journey than the destination.

If at any time you or your son needs guidance or assistance, please don’t hesitate to reach out to the faculty, the Mentor, or contact the Assistant Head of Middle School.

The academic journey your son will experience through the Middle School will be challenging and difficult at times, but it will be powerful and rewarding. Of all aspects of adolescents the academic journey is where most parents find their biggest challenges.

Rest assured that when your son experiences difficult times through this journey, we will be there to help guide him back on course. Our ultimate goal is to create an environment that allows our boys to emerge from the Middle School as independent, adventurous learners prepared for the Upper School, and life’s challenges on the journey ahead.

Mentor Group At the heart of all we do in the Middle School is the Mentor. We feel passionately that Middle School is about learning how to learn. Having accrued the knowledge during the Lower School years, Middle School affords our boys the independence to take their first fumbling, experimental steps towards becoming the man of character they want to be.

Overwhelming evidence shows that boys have a deep need for someone they trust and respect. They want to know that someone knows them and “has their back.” They want to feel they have a voice and can make decisions for themselves.

This is a nuanced and fragile time—a boy must understand the firm boundaries that promote the needs of a community, but must also know he has support as he makes mistakes and stumbles.

This makes the role of a mentor crucial. Working in partnership with a boy’s parents, this is the essence of the Middle School. The Mentor is the core, around which we wrap our academic and co-curricular programs.

A MENTOR IS AN: •

•

•

•

Academic Advocate: The juggling of a large variety of academic expectations is a new experience for many Middle School boys. His mentor will be his guide and advocate. His mentor will liaise between subject teachers and home so that communication flows in a helpful manner.

Parent Partner: Parents need a link to their son’s journey at a time when most boys are straining to be independent. His Mentor provides a partnership with home which allows parents to know they have a link with all their son accomplishes each day.

Challenges Champion: A boy needs to know he has someone in his corner. Adolescence throws many challenges at boys and it is helpful to have a “go-to” person who will work to solve and guide them through these.

Growth Guide: We want our boys to become men of character. This journey goes better with a guide to help read the map and show the pitfalls. Having a patient guide is a wonderful help in making a successful journey more likely. In our case the compass that we use is our core values of respect, responsibility, honesty and compassion.

SLEEP An area of increasing interest to educators is that of sleep. Recent research has drawn us to see some quite profound connections between sleep and academic development.

In North America, where most of us do not regularly get the recommended amount of sleep, this becomes particularly significant. The evidence is now so overwhelming that schools have begun to consider changing their school days and now see the need to understand a student’s sleep habits as a first point of reference when struggles occur.

Sleep, or the lack of it, has now been shown to have a direct link to a boy’s academic performance, with recent research being able to correlate deficiencies in academic performance with every 15 minutes less sleep a boy gets.

It is also interesting to read that a lack of sleep can mirror the symptoms of several things including anxiety, ADHD and stress.

During early adolescence when a boy’s body is changing so rapidly, the need for sleep becomes even more important, and with our boys’ busy lives, is something that is not easy to balance.

As we seek to better understand and support our boys through these pivotal early adolescent years, this topic feels like one of which we should be aware, and I share this merely as a topic for discussion and exploration.

JOURNEY WITH A JOURNAL Historically, early adolescence was the time when a boy was initiated into manhood. All over the world a boy was guided and educated towards that moment when, usually after a ceremony of some sort, he was initiated into manhood at which point he was given real and needed responsibilities within his community.

Most cultures have let those rights of passage fall by the way side but those of us working with boys in a Middle School setting see and feel that surge towards wanting to be a man, to be seen as significant, to be independent and treated as such.

An added context is that our boys’ push towards becoming men comes at a time when manhood is not a valued topic. The images of men to which they have been exposed are typically negative and rarely celebrated.

Lastly, and in ways not immediately linked to manhood, our boys are growing up in a culture that rarely asks them to think deeply on topics—certainly not the topic of who they are and who they want to be. Being reflective is not a practiced or particularly attractive trait for an early adolescent boy.

To this end, we make use of Mentor Group time by spending the year looking at issues of manhood, and having the opportunity to practice (and make use of) reflective quiet thought.

Each boy will be given a journal, and throughout the year, both formally and informally, will journal his thoughts on a variety of topics related to becoming a good man, and what that concept means to him.

They will consider such topics as: • •

what makes a good man relationships with others

• •

challenges the world’s view of men

It has been wonderful to see how well our boys have made use of the opportunity to journal and reflect. It is a great practice to begin and it allows our boys some time to pause and consider during a time in their lives that feels at times difficult and overwhelming.

LEADERSHIP IN THE MIDDLE SCHOOL One of the goals of the Middle School is to allow a growth in understanding the man of character each boy wants to be. We want him to become a reflective young man who is beginning to understand that the only judge of his character can be himself.

Developing leadership in the Middle School is an important pillar in that journey. Leadership requires, by definition, initiative, independent thinking and courage.

It is a skill though that has been traditionally misunderstood and as a result has been disappointingly developed within most Middle Schools. The motivation for beginning a leadership opportunity is vital if it is to grow into a skill that can mature. Building resumes, seeking House points or recognition bring a mindset that makes it likely that the actual skills of leadership will not develop.

The motivation has to be driven by a passion or interest in the activity. The desire to do a good job coupled with carefully selected opportunities allows boys to step forth and make those tentative steps to lead something and this sort of arena can lead to some exciting growth in leadership.

Leadership has been typically seen in a very narrow way, limiting the opportunities seen as leadership and also causing boys at a young age to define them as either a leader or not a leader.

Each boy will not be ready for or frankly, interested in leadership opportunities at the same time. Trying to force that particular square peg through a round hole will almost certainly skew any future thoughts of leadership.

One of the hardest parental moments during Middle School can be how to support our son as he considers what his relationship will be with this thing called leadership. We all know that for there to be any merit or authenticity in leadership our boys have to want to do it. The tightrope for us as parents is to encourage our boys to consider the opportunities without insisting.

In service of this rationale, we have sought to provide a wide a varied set of opportunities where a full gamut of leadership skills can be developed.

Some of the many leadership opportunities include: House Captains: these are elected positions whose job is to lead and develop the house system in the Middle School, with a particular focus on character.

School Team Captains: Each athletic team has a captain, who has various responsibilities as well as leading the team during games.

Assembly and Announcement Team: This team creates, develops, records, presents and facilitates announcements and assembly. Leadership is needed in many areas of journalism and presentation as we seek to develop a strong and close Middle School student culture.

Tech Support Team: This is a team of boys trained by our own IT department who are seen as capable of solving IT problems in class and with their peers when they arise and who can also liaise with our IT

department when necessary. This is a very real form of leadership that links directly to many Upper School opportunities.

Ambassadors: This opportunity has some very real implications. The boys meet and tour families interested in applying to Crescent. They must display discerning leadership by being authentic to their experience at Crescent.

Outreach team: Each year our outreach team steps out of the school to take on a challenge to serve our community. Last year they befriended Veterans at Sunnybrook and the recorded their stories publishing them in a beautiful book.

Leadership Retreat: A new opportunity that came our way this year was the Leadership Retreat developed by CAIS (Canadian Association of Independent Schools), which occurs either late September or early October. It does appear to be a really good opportunity. It does however rub against our philosophy of leadership development a little. With only four places available we will likely have to select boys. Having worked hard to celebrate all kinds and stages of leadership, it becomes difficult to find a rationale to pick a few to go. This opportunity will be open to Grade 8 boys and they will be invited to apply by writing a short essay demonstrating the leadership they have brought to the Middle School during their Grade 7 year. The faculty will then attempt the impossible task of selecting the most deserving candidates. Many Grade 7 boys were just not ready to contribute to leadership within the School, which is perfectly normal and as such this may not be the opportunity for them.

Unnamed Leadership: Of course the most powerful leadership goes without a name or club or program but is that leadership that is displayed in the hallways and classrooms. It is when boys reach out to their peers, through actions and words causing them to step forward in character and compassion towards a goal, either big or small. When this kind of service leadership is seen it is unbelievably impactful and the greatest indicator of future leadership abilities. Our job is to celebrate and scaffold for this kind of leadership.

TYPICAL EARLY TERM CHALLENGES It can be helpful as parents to be aware of some early term challenges that boys can go through. The Middle School faculty is well used to seeing these issues, and experience has told us that with a supportive relationship from our parents, we can surround a boy with the required compassion and direction he needs to overcome these challenges.

Being cut from a Team: With the number of boys in Middle School, it can be the first time a boy experiences not making a team. This is a very difficult thing to experience. It is also an opportunity for tremendous learning. Please ask for advice from your son’s Mentor and work with them if your son feels low about this.

Friendships and Peer Connections: On some level, all our boys feel new. Some have the daunting task of making completely new friends whilst others find that old friendships have moved on. It is important that we encourage our boys to be patient and to communicate. We work really hard to ensure that each boy begins to make strong connections to the School, and friendships are a big part of this but it can take a few weeks.

Missing old School and Friends: Most of our new boys have come from a great school experience and it is therefore normal and right that they miss their old school, friends and routine. The sensation of feeling new can feel uncomfortable, and can result in an urge to draw comparisons. Again, allowing a boy to see the merit in patience, and giving it time, means that while they can still miss their old school, they also love their new one.

Integration into New Work Habits: Most boys have not experienced a full rotary timetable and it takes time to feel accustomed to that. It also takes quite a long time for most boys to become organized in this new way of working. The faculty are well used to this, and want the boys to take their time learning effective ways of organizing themselves. So don’t despair when your son appears disorganized.

Early adolescence can bring many challenges the way of your boy. It is a natural thing to happen.

Communicate with the School and know that each year we are committed to being there for our boys so that they can learn to navigate their way through these waters.

Once again, welcome to another year in Crescent’s Middle School. We look forward to you continuing to be an integral part of this moment in your son’s life through your discerning support of all that we do.