My
P
y t e f a S l ersona
k o o b k Wor
What is the Convention for the Rights of the Child? The Convention for the Rights of the Child (1989) has become the most widely ratified human rights treaty in history and has helped transform children’s lives around the world. It is up to our generation to demand that leaders from government, business and communities fulfil their commitments and take action for child rights now, once and for all. They must commit to making sure every child, has every right. Some of the obligations which Member States have toward their children are: Article 12: Children have the right to give their opinions freely on issues that affect them. Adults should listen and take children seriously. Article 13: Children have the right to share freely with others what they learn, think and feel, by talking, drawing, writing or in any other way unless it harms other people. Article 17: Children have the right to get information from the Internet, radio, television, newspapers, books and other sources. Adults should make sure the information they are getting is not harmful. Governments should encourage the media to share information from lots of different sources. Article 19: Governments must protect children from violence, abuse, and being neglected by anyone who looks after them. Article 34: The government should protect children from sexual exploitation (being taken advantage of) and sexual abuse, including by people forcing children to have sex for money, or making sexual pictures or films of them.
1
SESSION
My Name Is: Every child is special and deserves a safe environment to grow up in. This workbook is dedicated to your personal safety. Can you think of some rules that might help keep you safe? (Write them below on the lines)
1 2 3 4
Don’t play with matches
Remember these rules so you can be safe. Our feelings help keep us safe, too. For example, we might not be safe when we feel scared or angry or sad or confused. Can you think of other feelings that might help you know when you’re not safe?
03
My Personal Safety Workbook
To better understand how our feelings help keep us safe, finish the following sentences:
When I am happy: 1 2
Things that make me happy: 1 2
People who make me happy: 1 2
04
My Personal Safety Workbook
Continue finishing these sentences:
When I am sad: 1 2
My toy Is broken!
Things that make me sad: 1 2
People who make me sad: 1 2
05
My Personal Safety Workbook
Continue finishing these sentences:
When I am angry: 1 2
Things that make me angry: 1 2
People who make me angry: 1 2
06
My Personal Safety Workbook
Continue finishing these sentences:
When I am scared: 1 2
Things that make me scared: 1 2
People who make me scared: 1 2
07
My Personal Safety Workbook
2
Our body is wonderful, and we need to take care of it. There are many ways we can be “touched”, like if we are touched physically, touched by someone’s eyes or touched with words.
SESSION
I’m the only one who knows how each of these touches feels.
I’m in charge of my body and I feel... happy when someone touches me, looks at me, or speaks to me like this:
sad when someone touches me, looks at me, or speaks to me like this:
angry when someone touches me, looks at me, or speaks to me like this:
scared when someone touches me, looks at me, or speaks to me like this:
All of these feelings are valid and natural. They help protect me.
MY BODY IS SPECIAL AND BELONGS ONLY TO ME! 08
My Personal Safety Workbook
We know lots of safety rules. We also know our thoughts and feelings can help keep us safe. Now, together we’re going to learn 4 Steps for Protecting Ourselves from Risky Situations
Step 1:
Protect my private parts.
Never – It’s never ok for someone to touch (look at or talk about) my private parts – except to keep me healthy or clean. Never – It’s never ok for someone to ask me to touch (look at or talk about) their private parts. Memorize:
“No one can see, touch, tickle, take photos of or kiss my private parts.”
Step 2:
No secrets.
If someone my own age, older than me, a stranger or someone I know well asks me to see, touch, tickle, take photos of or kiss their private parts or wants to do that with mine: I WON’T KEEP THAT SECRET.
09
My Personal Safety Workbook
Step 3:
Say “NO!” to risky situations.
If I’m in a risky situation and feel confused or uncomfortable about what’s happening with my private parts, or the private parts of another person, I have the right to say, “NO!” really loud, and get away NOW!
NO!
Step 4:
Run and find my trusted adult.
I will quickly find my trusted adult to tell. I will keep on telling until I get the help I need. I will explain what has happened and describe how I feel about it.
Remember:
Your body is valuable and deserves to be respected! 10
My Personal Safety Workbook
Step 1:
Protect my private parts
Do you know the correct name of each of your private parts? Write the name of each private part in the spaces below:
Place an X in the circle below that describes when you might need help keeping your private parts healthy: When I itch or have a burning sensation. When the doctor needs to examine me. When a kid my age wants me to touch his private parts.
11
My Personal Safety Workbook
Repeat several times: “No one can see, touch, tickle, take photos of or kiss my private parts. I won’t do that to anyone, either.”
Step 2: No secrets If someone my own age, older than me, a stranger or someone I know well asks me to see, touch, tickle, take photos of or kiss their private parts or wants to do that with mine: I WON’T KEEP THAT SECRET. If something uncomfortable happens with your private parts and you keep it a secret, what are some bad things that may result?
1 2 3 Write three positive results from telling when something uncomfortable happens with your private parts?
1 2 3 12
My Personal Safety Workbook
3
We continue learning how to practice the 4 Steps for Protecting Ourselves from Risky Situations.
Step 3:
SESSION
Say, “NO!” to risky situations.
There is good touch and bad touch. touch: when someone hugs you or touches your public parts to show they like you, you feel GOOD, SAFE, HAPPY and COMFORTABLE. touch: when someone touches or looks at you, or takes pictures or kisses you in a way that makes you feel BAD, your body might send you some of these signals: Your heart Your palms Your knees Your stomach You might even your pants! If you find yourself in a “bad touch” situation, you can say, “NO!” and get away fast! But there a lots of other words you could use, like: “Don’t do that!” “Get away from me now!” “Stop! I’m going to tell!” Write another phrase you might use:
13
My Personal Safety Workbook
It’s not so important which words you use, but you need to say them in a way that others know you mean business. Be loud. Even though you might be scared, if you can get loud, you’ll feel stronger. You can practice standing like you mean business, too. Below, draw how you might stand to show someone you mean business, then practice with your mom or dad at home.
Even if you use your words,
the best thing is to get away NOW. 14
My Personal Safety Workbook
Run and find your Step 4: trusted adult. Quickly find your trusted adult to tell. Sometimes our adults are busy, or just can’t seem to help us. Keep on telling until you get the help you need. Explain what has happened and describe how you feel about it.
Who is a trusted adult? 1.
Someone who will take the time to really listen to you.
2. Someone who respects you just as you are. 3. Someone who will know what to do. 4. Someone who won’t get mad at you and won’t blame you for what has happened.
5. 6.
15
My Personal Safety Workbook
Our trusted adults love us, but sometimes they need help listening. Sometimes they may not feel well, or they’re busy, or they’re worried about other things. You can help that adult by using a loud voice and saying, “I’ve got a touching problem”. If the first person you say that to doesn’t listen, tell another trusted adult and keep telling until you get the help you need. Below, write the names of trusted adults you could talk to if you had a touching problem. If you told one of them, “I need help with a touching problem” they would know what to do and they would help.
16
My Personal Safety Workbook
I can say anything to my trusted adult. Here are a couple things I’d like to tell him or her:
Using the boxes below, write each of the 4 Steps for Protecting Ourselves from Risky Situations.
1
2
3
4
17
My Personal Safety Workbook
4
SESSION
Jenna’s Story
Jenna found herself in a very uncomfortable situation. Her whole family loved their nanny. The nanny insisted Jenna take a bath every night before bedtime. While bathing the nanny watched Jenna. Jenna was uncomfortable with the way the nanny looked at her private parts.
One day the nanny asked Jenna to look at her private parts, saying Jenna should know what adults looked like. She told Jenna they would keep this as a secret between the two of them.
If I were Jenna, I would feel: because because because because because
18
My Personal Safety Workbook
Jenna told her mom how she felt about what happened. She was scared because she knew her mom really liked the nanny. Jenna worried maybe she had done something wrong.
Jenna told her mother, “I’ve got a touching problem” and then described what had happened with the nanny. Her mom believed everything Jenna told her. She hugged her and said, “What happened to you, Jenna, was not your fault.”
Jenna’s mom told her, “I’m so proud of you for telling me about your touching problem. I know that wasn’t easy and took a lot of courage. I am going to help make sure you are safe. I hope you can always talk with me about things that make you uncomfortable. You know I love you.”
Jenna feels better after talking with her mom. She knows she has the right to say “NO!” when someone wants to touch her private parts, or any bad touch that makes her uncomfortable.
19
My Personal Safety Workbook
Jenna will always talk with her mom because she knows she loves her and will protect her.
What would have happened if Jenna’s mom didn’t believe her?
How do you think Jenna would have felt?
What if Jenna told you what happened to her, but then asked you not to tell anyone? What would you do?
Remember to practice
the 4 Steps for Protecting Ourselves from Risky Situations. 20
My Personal Safety Workbook
Cody’s Story Cody lived in an apartment with his mom. One of their neighbors, Jim, had a motorcycle in the building’s garage. Sometimes he let Cody sit on it and use his helmet. “How do you think that made Cody feel?”
One day Jim invited Cody to go for a ride. Cody’s mom was not home to give him permission, and he knew his Aunt wouldn’t let him go if he asked. So, Cody decided to go anyway. “It was just a ride around the apartment complex,” Jim convinced him.
How do you think Cody felt?
21
My Personal Safety Workbook
When they get back, Jim tells Cody they should keep their ride a secret between them, since Cody’s mom might not like that he went without permission. After all, they both made it back safely, right? How do you think Cody feels?
Cody didn’t know what to do, so he didn’t tell his mom. Jim ran into Cody in the hall later and asked him if he had told his mom about their ride. When Cody told Jim he had not said anything to his mom, Jim invited him to go for another ride. How do you think Cody feels? Do you think he should go?
This time, Jim takes Cody for a longer ride, away from the apartment building and into an area with no buildings or people around. Jim stops the motorcycle and tells Cody he wants to teach him a game. He wants Cody to touch his private parts and tells him this will be a secret – just between them. How do you think Cody feels?
22
My Personal Safety Workbook
Cody doesn’t know what to do, so he goes along with Jim. He plays his game. Cody is afraid to tell his mom because he already broke one of his family’s safety rules when he went for that first ride without permission. Who else could he talk to?
He decides to tell his teacher.
I’m glad you told me, Cody. What happened to you is not your fault and I want to help. Jim tricked you. He did something bad, and we will help protect you so this doesn’t happen again.
His teacher told Cody he should talk with his mom. Because Cody was scared to talk, his teacher went with him. Cody’s mom was grateful to his teacher for helping Cody tell. She told Cody he was brave for speaking up. How do you think Cody feels now?
23
My Personal Safety Workbook
Now Jenna and Cody know . . . It’s never right for someone to touch our private parts unless they’re a Doctor or going to help us stay clean. It’s never ok for someone older or bigger to ask us to look at or touch their private parts.
NO!
If this happens to you, or you feel confused, uncomfortable or scared about a touch, say “NO!” and get away NOW. Remember:
it’s not your fault.
Tell a trusted adult and keep telling until you get the help you need.
Jenna and Cody are special kids and their bodies are wonderful.
There are people who will protect you and keep you safe. 24
My Personal Safety Workbook
5
SESSION Sometimes saying “NO!” doesn’t end the problem.
It might not be possible to get away.
You might not think it’s possible to tell anyone.
Dora’s Story Dora needed help with her schoolwork. Her parents paid a tutor. He came to their home twice each week. After a few visits Dora already showed improvement in school. Dora was super happy she was getting better grades and she liked her tutor. Dora’s parents were really happy, too. They liked her tutor and were pleased with her improved grades. Once in awhile they would give her tutor small gifts to show their appreciation. Dora’s teacher congratulated her on her grades, too.
One day when Dora’s parents weren’t at home, her tutor told her he wanted to show her something special she couldn’t learn at school. He showed her a magazine with people wearing no clothes, posing in ways that showed their private parts.
25
My Personal Safety Workbook
How do you think this made Dora feel?
The tutor showed Dora one picture, then told her he wanted her to do to him what the people in the picture were doing. Dora told him, “NO! I don’t want to do that!” Her tutor became angry with Dora and reminded her how much he had helped her for many weeks. Now, Dora should help him. Her tutor also told Dora that if she told anyone, he would tell them she was lying and that the only reason she was getting better grades at school was because she was cheating.
Dora doesn’t know what to do, so she doesn’t tell anyone. One day Dora and her friends were talking about what they learned from The Convention for the Rights of the Child and their Personal Safety Workbook. Her friend, Jenna, told her she had learned:
26
My Personal Safety Workbook
I always have the right to feel safe and content with my body. If anyone touches me in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable, I can say, “NO!” in my head, even if I can’t say it out loud. Then I can tell an adult I trust.
“NO!” “I don’t deserve this.” “NO!” “This isn’t my fault.”
”Nobody has a right to touch me in ways I’m not comfortable with.”
It’s never too late to tell. 27
My Personal Safety Workbook
Dora & Jenna say together:
“NO!” “It’s never too late to tell.”
“NO!” “I don’t want to be touched like that.” “NO!” “This isn’t my fault.”
“NO!”
Dora decided to tell her parents because she doesn’t want other kids to go through what she did. Dora is going to talk with her mom even though she’s kind of scared because of her tutor’s threats. What else might Dora be afraid of?
28
My Personal Safety Workbook
When Dora told her mom, she was surprised, but she believed Dora. Her mom said, “I’m so glad you told me, Dora. You are very brave. Now I can help make sure you’re safe.”
She told Dora, “I will never let that tutor work with you again.” How do you think that made Dora feel?
But Dora was still worried. Will her dad be angry with her? What will happen to her grades in school? What will happen to the tutor? What will her friends at school think about her when they find out?
Dora’s mom saw she was worried and said to her: “What happened was not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong, honey. I will talk with your dad, and he will understand. We will talk to the authorities so this tutor can’t hurt other children again.”
29
My Personal Safety Workbook
That night when Dora’s dad got home, she heard him talking with her mom. Later they came into her room. Dora’s dad spoke first: “I’m so sorry about what happened to you, Dora. You have a right to be safe, and we will do everything possible to protect you.”
Her father gave her a big hug and said, “I understand you might be scared or confused or angry. I love you and am so glad you told your mom about what happened. Speaking up about a problem with touch isn’t easy. What makes families work is being able to share with each other the good and the bad. I’m so proud of you, Dora.”
What could Dora have done if her parents didn’t believe her?
Now Dora knows what Jenna & Cody know: I’m special. I have a marvelous body. I can take care of my body. I have a right to my feelings about who and when and how I’m touched.
30
My Personal Safety Workbook
Based on a workbook by The Center for the Prevention and Treatment of Child Sexual Abuse, Manila. My Very Own Book About Me. Act for Kids. Spokane, WA. Illustrated by Kazhiel Espinoza workingdreamsstudio@gmail.com Distributed by Protect Me Project local volunteers protectmeproject.org
31
My Personal Safety Workbook
www.protectmeproject.org protectmeproject@gmail.com