You're Not Alone

You're Not Alone... Really

coping wtih the ups and downs of being an expat

Written by Andrea McKenna Brankin

Designing My Life One Tile/ Note at a Time

Fashion is the theme of this month’s magazine, in which we look back at some of the designs used in AWA Fashion Show in years past. But what about designing your life? Can you make your life as happy as your shopping trips? Here’s an apropos motivational quote from American entrepreneur Jim Rohn: “Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.” I like this because it feeds my desire to “buy the dress,” so as not to postpone my happiness. But beyond clothes, I think we all can take steps to create happiness in our life “by design.” And why wait? This year, I decided that I needed to design a few new things for my life. (Maybe these sound like resolutions, but when we say “design,” it a clear effort to make a plan to create something new.) I’m turning 50 in April, so I decided that I needed to do some brain development/anti-aging stuff. Enter Mahjong and piano instruction. I’m really enjoying my first few weeks of these lessons! I won a few hands of Mahjong and I can now play the chords to “Drops of Jupiter” by Train on my daughter’s electric piano. As far as long-term goals go, I won’t be showing off in any “Crazy Rich Asians” movie scenes, but I’m hoping to put my Mahjong set to use and maybe restring an old Mahjong tile bracelet I found at Urban Outfitters in 1997. (Because, design.) Similarly, on the keyboard, I won’t be tearing it up like Elton John. I’m just hoping to bang out some singalong songs as a party trick. (Also not planning to wear Elton’s famed crazy designer costumes, though that’s been known to happen...) One way you can start to design your life is to sit down and think about what you truly want. Sounds so cliché! Mea culpa. But try this: Ask yourself what you truly want and write down the FIRST things that come to mind. Maybe it’s to lose weight, make more money, or keep in touch with family and friends more. Well, there are your answers. Get the nutritionist, personal trainer or exercise classes in order. Start working smarter by taking marketing classes to boost your reach and income. If you don’t work, start an online trading account and learn how to use it. To keep in touch with friends and family whom we know we can’t visit due to COVID-19, get a Zoom account and set a schedule of calls. There are infinite possibilities for how you can design your life, but as I always say, you do have to put in the work. You have to decide what’s worth the effort. With Mahjong and piano, I have to study hands and read music, as well as practice and play. But it’s worth it because it makes me happy. I’ve got my designer life in place right now. And so far, it looks great on me!

Andrea runs the AWA Listen Ladies Group, providing confidential support for members at regular meetings. listenladies@awasingapore.org