FROM THE DESK OF Spike Gillespie

BY MONICA GODINEZ

Spike Gillespie is a zealous woman, mother and entrepreneur. (In fact, she identifies as a “serial entrepreneur.”) For over a decade, Gillespie’s various interests have allowed her to become an author, journalist, blogger and wedding officiant. She is a woman “who takes no shit” from anyone and now fully understands the importance of being true to herself and her passions.

Following her career as a writer in 2006, Gillespie embarked on a journey to become a wedding officiant. She wanted to bridge the gap for couples who were searching for officiants who performed nontraditional weddings. She discovered a newfound love for providing this service for couples who sought ceremonies that best aligned with their values. To date, she has performed over a thousand ceremonies, each one unique. After years of presiding over thousands of services—from massive weddings to “secret elopements”—Gillespie has decided to retire from her role as a wedding officiant. She made this decision as a result of the tumultuous year both she and her clients have undergone due to the ongoing pandemic.

“I learned as I went, and what I learned is to find your confidence,” Gillespie says. “Be confident in your confidence. I tell women of all ages that they do not need to put up with anyone’s shit. There is so much conditioning, in every generation, and I feel like women spend so much time buying into the [idea] that they can’t do what they want for whatever reason.” During the first lockdown, Gillespie felt “forced to rest” in the best way possible. “If I could, I’d tell my 16-year-old self, ‘Here is this stuff I learned. If you could apply it, that would be great,’” Gillespie jokes.

Years ago, I saved a child from drowning. I tell this story because at the time I couldn’t swim; however, I was able to save the child because we were in shallow water. If the child had stopped and just put their feet down, they would have realized that they were okay. Yet they let the panic take over and were unable to get their bearings. [Similarly] to other situations of panic, it is important to put your feet down (literally and metaphorically) and assess the situation. This is grounding in stressful moments.

Asking for help is one of the best practices a person can learn. I grew up very traumatized, after suffering abuse by my violent father and asking for help wasn’t an option. It was after decades of therapy that I learned that my [inability] to ask for help [stemmed] from this previous trauma. I [often] thought I had so much pride. I later realized it wasn’t pride, but fear. With the help of therapy, friends and myself I was able to learn that asking others for help was nothing to be afraid of. When I started asking for help, I saw just how willing others were to help me. Today, I ask others for help as much as I help others.

This lesson may be a hard one for women. From a young age, we are trained to care and tend to everyone else first: our children, partners, parents, etc. We are taught that focusing/putting yourself first is selfish. It wasn’t until I was older and after my relationship with a narcissist abuser that I thought to myself, “I have to stop. What can I do to prevent myself from getting back into this situation?” So, I began reading articles on self-care. At first, I thought the idea of self-care was bullshit, but every single article recommended it, and I really wanted to heal. So, I slowly began incorporating small forms of self-care into my routine. I began eating healthier, doing yoga and I [really] started focusing on myself. I learned to have self-compassion and self-empathy. We are human, we make mistakes. We are constantly evolving.

For example, I was looking at properties out of state. The properties would be investment properties where I could provide people with affordable housing. I connected with the seller, and I explained my financial situation to her. Despite my untraditional financial [circumstances] she was still interested in working with me. I would have never thought she would still be interested in working with me, but I realized the significance of asking for help. It’s so important for you to ask and talk to those around you. You never know until you try. Remember, it starts with having that confidence in yourself.

I don’t mean this in an insensitive or cheesy manner. As someone who has PTSD, I have trained myself to literally look in front of myself. I put both feet on the floor and focus on the room instead of spiraling. Remembering that I am okay helps me understand that I will be okay in any situation and at any moment.

Above all, Spike Gillespie wants everyone to remember, “There is so much out there to enjoy. Go out and do everything. Don’t let anything hold you back or get in the way of following what you want.”

Wisdom teeth, or third molars, are the last teeth to develop. Eons ago when our diet was much different and dental crowding was common, the third molars came in or “erupted” and provided another set of functional teeth. With today’s softer nonabrasive diet and the relative rarity of dental crowding, most often there is not enough room for the wisdom teeth to erupt into place and be functional teeth that the patient can maintain. This is what is meant by “impacted,” simply that the tooth is not able to come into a functional position. There are patients who have the space for wisdom teeth, and in these cases the teeth may be functional and beneficial.

In cases where the wisdom teeth come in appropriately it is common later in life to develop decay or gum disease around these first. They are difficult for some to maintain, and your dentist may suggest removal rather than a filling or crown when or if this happens.

While your family dentist may remove erupted or exposed wisdom teeth, many regular dentists do not. Furthermore, impacted wisdom teeth, more complex teeth or higher-risk teeth will likely result in referral to an oral surgeon. A visit with your dentist or a look at your X-ray would likely answer that question best. Most patients having multiple wisdom teeth removed at the same time will prefer sedation rather than being awake. Oral surgeons have extensive hospital-based training in anesthesia to make this procedure pleasant and astonishingly safe. The facility is almost as important as the surgeon, and board-certified oral surgery offices are inspected and certified for anesthesia safety by both the state of Texas and their surgery certifying board. Certification ensures that the monitoring and safety equipment mirrors that in the hospital environment.

In general, younger patients are very low risk as the teeth are typically less difficult to remove. For this reason, the recovery is commonly smoother and faster. The best approach is to image and consult at a young age, typically teenage years, and make an assessment on whether the wisdom teeth will likely ever need to be removed. If removal is necessary, earlier surgery generally is easier and more predictable. This assessment might happen with your family dentist, orthodontist or directly with an oral surgeon.

Most insurance plans cover wisdom tooth removal. At consultation, each wisdom tooth will be evaluated and coded depending on how it is positioned within the mouth and whether it is exposed or impacted. Likewise, anesthesia choices are usually discussed and the level of sedation agreed upon. The costs will vary depending on these factors, and you can generally explore your insurance prior to the procedure. The best way to discover costs and insurance coverage, as well as discuss the procedure, is to set up a consultation visit with your provider.

A LEGACY OF EXCEPTIONAL CARE