Debate | Issue 8 | Games

08 | GAMES

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The Olympic Games should not ignore genocide Happy Olympic season, everyone! I don’t give a shit about sports, and I (feature editors note: we*) forced this issue to broaden out to games in general so we could talk about video games and other nerd shit like that - but I still reckon the Olympic Games can be a good bit of fun on the surface. I genuinely think one of my earliest memories was getting the Happy Meal toys of the 2008 Beijing Olympics mascots - a batch of cute little critters that put the clitoris-adjacent 2024 Paris Olympics mascots to shame. It’s cool to see the world come together, celebrating sports and unity in a wholly non-political way… right? Nah, it’s never that easy.

EDITORIAL Liam Hansen (they/them) @liamhanse.n EDITOR

This year, we’re seeing calls for Olympic boycotts due to the involvement of Israel in Paris 2024 amidst their genocide of Palestinians in Gaza. You might think that politics have never gotten in the way of the games before - but athletes from Russia and their allies in Belarus were banned from the Olympics in 2022 after the invasion of Ukraine.

The International Olympic Committee (IOC) is now painstakingly co-ordinating the participation of “neutral individual athletes” from Russia and Belarus in Paris 2024, who must show no signs of support for the war before being allowed to compete. Only 31 individuals were accepted from both nations combined (compared to 330 Russians and 104 Belarusians at the 2020 Summer Olympics), and even those choices have been heavily scrutinised. Investigations into said athletes by human rights law organisation Global Rights Compliance (GRC) showed 17 of them could hold pro-war beliefs. GRC Representative Jeremy Pizzi highlighted to USA Today that 450 Ukrainian athletes have been killed since Russia's invasion began two years ago, and that "It's unconscionable from a moral perspective to expect a Ukrainian athlete to stand on a world stage next to another athlete who supports the violent commission of crimes against them. " 400 Palestinian athletes have been killed by the Israeli Defence Force since October 7th, let alone the decades of persecution, murder, and occupation that took place before the current genocide. This is amongst the 40,000 Palestinians that have reportedly been killed in the last nine months. Yet, the IOC has vehemently expressed that they have no intention to ban Israel from the games.

Essentially, the International Olympic Committee believes athletes should only be held responsible for their government’s war crimes if they are committed against white people.

I would love to see athletes from Aotearoa and beyond use their time in the spotlight to highlight the atrocities taking place in Gaza and criticise the IOC for their treatment of this situation.

That’s why I wanted to start the Games issue on this note. We cannot let the colours, sports, and celebrations of the Olympic Games take precedence over the thousands of lives lost. Free Palestine.

If you’re like me, and you forgot the Olympics were happening until a couple of minutes ago, don’t skip this issue - we’re yapping on about games of all kinds, from Dungeons and Dragons to Stardew Valley to axe throwing. Have a flick through, take in some recommendations of games made locally and internationally, and sleep well knowing that the video games industry is way more ethical than the sports industry! Other than the harassment of minorities in gamer culture, the violation of labour rights in major studios, and the crisis of crunch culture leading game workers to destroy their mental and physical well-being in order to keep their jobs.

Don’t google it.

Illustration By Chloe Bagayas (she/her) @lilclodoodles CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATOR

T Whining & Dining Obsession t I can’t help it, I’m obsessed!

Over the dirtiest, wettest gin martinis at Beau, some dear friends of mine discussed our recent escapades around Tāmaki Makaurau. After a one-off kissing session with a boy named Matt, my friend Amelia was convinced he was the proverbial one. So far, this is to be expected: a smidge of attachment and romantic feelings after a fleeting tryst. I fear that this was no common crush. Miss Amelia rearranged her university timetable and frequented his study spots to ensure they would run into each other. Amelia memorised his outfit rotation; I must tell you, after she gushed the third time about how ‘Matt is wearing a new shirt’, I got a little worried. For context, his wardrobe consists of mix-and-match long-sleeved shirts and pants, nothing remarkably identifiable. The table gasped at the most egregious offence; she lied to him about running a 10k in Dunedin so their ‘trips down South’ would coincide. She had no plans to be in Ōtepoti. The death knell of this imagined relationship is that Matt is still in love with his ex. Nevertheless, an idealistic Amelia could not bring herself to grapple with the reality that he does not feel the same. What do we do when the love of our lives exists more in our own heads than in the real world?

Buying a vibrator and finding a new person to let your thoughts rattle on about are undoubtedly useful in the short term.

However, as a rather inventive person, it has been a lifelong struggle to remove the prominence of limerence from my life. Having such vivid fantasies can enrich your life with such beauty and excitement. This can be used to your advantage. A man has constructed a room for himself in what little headspace you have. This is enough to drive a woman mad. Kick him out and replace him with your nearest and dearest. Channelling that energy and fascination into your existing friendships can facilitate a deeper appreciation for them. When I transfer the energy that would have been reserved for a romantic life to my main women, I have far greater emotional gratification. Far more significant than what a relationship can provide. Better yet, fall for yourself and get obsessed with your gorgeous existence. Before I get too disgustingly, ‘you go, girl!’ when I am the most distracted, I usually find that I am dissatisfied with what I am doing with my life. Delving deeper into existing interests or finding something novel takes me out of my lover girl daze, most of the time.

In all honesty, I cannot help but fall into the arms of obsession.

We might giggle at the silly things our friends do when they get caught up in the turmoil of unrequited love. However, I can dream up entire romantic subplots with someone I just met and often regale the rather mundane details to my friends for weeks after. I often roll my eyes when I catch my mind wandering about the stranger I made half a second of eye contact with. I can dissolve into a world that only exists within the comfort of my own brain. Obsession is scary. All-encompassing emotions that appear at whim intoxicate you, resulting in dissatisfaction and low self-worth. If we can’t keep the reins on her, she often leads us astray. So, out of delusion and into reality.

All this advice is easy to spew out but much harder to enforce. I often find that romantic thoughts plague me regardless of how much love I have for my friends. And maybe they always will.

Those loud, attention-seeking thoughts never truly leave me, but they get quieter. Over time, they will fizzle out. The more I get Addison Rae obsessed with myself and my life, the less my attention wanders to my attachment of the hour. Then again, Amelia, you can always make like the indie rock powerhouse Blondeshell and put poison in his salad. Then he’ll be dead, and you won’t have to obsess over him.

And so the evening’s discussion on how to knock some sense into our dear friend began. One started our discourse by suggesting Amelia try her favourite vibrator and find another person, or three, to daydream over and get under. In her world, no man is ever worth losing sleep over, especially one you’re not even seeing. She’s probably right. I asked what Amelia even liked about Matt. He was a conventionally attractive man who validated her for an Earth’s rotation. Sure, he was nice to talk to, but the women gathered around the table could provide far superior mental stimulation. Our friend Lily asked if Amelia was bored. The most driven and accomplished Type A of us all finds that her work often distracts her from the grip of longing. There were not enough hours in the day to juggle the smattering of daily tasks that populate our calendars. Why should the idea of a relationship get in the way of our own lives?

Written By Elle Daji (she/her) @ellemnopow CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Tuva’a Clifton, the Olympian Tuva’a Clifton is well-known in the student journalism world. He was a beloved musician in the band JUNIOR JUNIOR. He’s now a radio host at 95bFM and recently founded Cheap Whines, the “political podcast for the Gen Z of Aotearoa.”

He also happens to be an Olympian.

After competing for the first time in Tokyo 2020, he’s recently qualified for this year’s Paris Olympics. Ahead of his upcoming trip, Clifton spoke to Debate about his sporting career so far.

How did Sprint Canoe (Kayak) become your sport?

I did surf life saving growing up, and still do to this day.

It has a big sporting component to it which I love. One of the parts of surf sports is the surf ski, which is basically a kayak that goes in the waves. I wanted to get better at this part, so I decided to join the local kayak club (flat water kayaking), but eventually really liked flat water kayaking so I started competing in it too. Twelve years later, I’m off to the Olympics for it!

What do you love about competing?

I really enjoy the feeling of trying to do the best you can do after training for months or years. Even though you may not win any medals, you always strive for personal goals such as making it out of a heat or trying to get a personal best time. When you reach those little milestones, it’s the best feeling ever. That same feeling is hard to replicate in other parts of life Is there anything you don't love?

Sometimes when it’s the middle of winter and it’s really cold, windy and rainy, and you’re really tired, the thought of sleeping in and skipping training sounds amazing. But you know that you’re not going to get faster by missing training so you force yourself to go. That can be really tough.

What is it like competing for Samoa, but training in New Zealand?

Competing for Samoa has given me so many opportunities that I otherwise wouldn’t have gotten. Being part Samoan myself (on my mother’s side) I feel competing for Samoa

is helping me connect with my Samoan side of my family.

Unfortunately, there are no facilities for kayaking in Samoa so it has been very helpful to be able to train in New Zealand.

What are you most excited about for the Olympics? What are you most nervous about?

I’m really looking forward to being there amongst the excitement of the Olympic Games, putting my training to the test and trying to achieve at least a personal best time. My whole family will be there in person to watch, so I’m also excited to be there in Europe with them for the big event.

My younger sister, Samalulu Clifton, has also qualified for the Olympics in the Women’s Kayak (K1 500m), so it will be cool to also compete alongside her. A trip to remember!

When will you be competing?

I will be competing on the 7th of August. My racing will start at around 8pm NZ time.

Written By Caeden Tipler (they/them) @caedentipler NEWS EDITOR

Maru Nihoniho is the founder of the game design and development studio Metia Interactive. Their latest project, Guardian Maia, is a “hybrid historical/science-fiction story that draws on the mythology of Māori culture in Aotearoa.” Nihoniho shared her experience developing Indigenous games throughout her career, and how this experience has helped shape the grounding force that is Te Ao Māori in Guardian Maia.

Can you talk about the new game you’re developing?

I've designed a few games in my 20 years of game development, but the biggest and the latest project that we're working on is called Guardian Maia. This was an idea that I had many, many years ago and it's just come to fruition with some funding we received from the New Zealand Film Commission. Since then we've been able to develop from a script into an interactive game. Currently, we're developing the 3D, single-player action-adventure version of Guardian Maia.

How has Te Ao Māori tied into Guardian Maia?

Guardian Maia is built on te ao Māori. When people ask me, “Is that a Māori game?” I'm like, yes, it is definitely a Māori game. The themes within the story are very much Māori, featuring our language and mythologies. Our main character and the many other characters in the game are Māori.

Guardian Maia is also set in the future. It forces us to ask what our culture will look like in the future. We consulted with a lot of people, experts in their fields, around Mātauranga Māori just to make sure that what we're thinking will align with our culture. It's not a story that was written overnight or even written in a year. It's been years of development and consultation design. We just need to make sure that what we do is good, what we do is right, and that we portray our culture in a really respectful and authentic way.

Do you usually have a focus on Indigenous games? Or is this a first for you?

We've worked on many games previously and we've worked with different iwi and different hapū to bring their stories to life. We've worked on other commercial-type games that feature our culture as well. One of the first games we worked on was called Mighty Pā Wars. That was actually the first game

that was fully translated into te reo. So we've had good experience and built our skill sets in developing other Indigenous games. Working with other Indigenous people that aren't from Aotearoa, sometimes you think, oh, the culture might be quite different. But we're almost the same culturally. We've got similar values and similar ways of doing things. So working with other indigenous cultures was no big surprise. They have been really, I won't say easy, but easier than you would think processes to work through because they're very similar to ours.

Is creating games that are focused on indigenous cultures something you have gotten a lot of support to do?

I have gotten a lot of support from within the organisations that I work with. Some were done through iwi or the Ministry of Education and some of them through private indigenous organisations.

So in that respect, the support is there, because that is the project that we're building. In terms of getting a game like Guardian Maia, which is quite a huge game, to the international market, it's really the same as any other game. We have to think about what makes our game unique. Is there anything different about it? Is it going to be something that the global market will want to see?

You have an idea and you want to develop that idea into a game, and quite often you need support to fund the development of that game. Then once the game has finished, you’ve got to make sure that people know that your game actually exists. So making the game is one thing and making sure that there's an audience for that game is another.

I first heard of you when I saw Guardian Maia on TikTok… TikTok is actually our biggest platform in terms of our following.

You’re TikTok famous, I'd say.

TikTok has been really good for us because I meet so many people that I don't know and we talk about gaming. They’re like, oh, what do you do? I say I make games and they're like, what kind of games do you do? I'm like, Indigenous games. And then they'll say to me there’s this really cool Māori game called Guardian Maia that I’ve seen on the socials. And I'm like, yeah, that's my game. And I'm just like, oh my god. That's the whole point of pushing out content on social media, to build an audience. It’ll be really helpful for when the game is on the market and people

will say I’ve seen that on TikTok or wherever they've seen it. In an earlier comment, I said making the games is only half of what you have to do, and letting people know that it's out there is the other half. That's what I did with Guardian Maia. One question that posting on social media also answers is if people will want to play this game. In our case, will people want to play a multi-game built by Māori? Our following answered that question. A lot of our audience is global. So I think that if we are able to get people not from New Zealand interested, then we will probably be okay.

Are games like Guardian Maia then bringing te ao Māori to the world?

It’s another way to do it. Our culture is already in all other forms of media. So I think that bringing our culture onto the gaming platform is just a natural progression. You learn by playing, you learn by doing so I think that the gaming platform is perfect for teaching without teaching. People will just learn by interacting by going through your story. I think this is the perfect platform for engagement, immersion, and of course, education.

When can we expect to be able to play Guardian Maia?

Next Monday we're going to the bid summit show in Kyoto and we will be showing the updated version of our demo. Our timeframe for the development and release of Guardian Maia is about two years after signing an agreement. So if we’re signed this year, then two years from now. So we'll see how we go.

You have got to start somewhere and you've got to start small.

When I decided I wanted to do Guardian Maia years and years ago, I learned very quickly that making a game that was going to cost millions of dollars wasn't going to happen overnight. I started to make smaller games first; with simple storylines and simple graphics. It's very important to build that experience. Then if you decide that you want to work for yourself as an indie, okay, cool, you've already made a project that's out there. Or if you're looking for work in the industry, then you've got a demo or a prototype to show. Everyone can read your CV, but if you send a playable demo with that, then that shows your skills. I think that's my advice for anyone who's starting in the industry, whether you want to go indie, or whether you are looking for a job, build stuff that is quick to build. So you have lots of time to polish it, make it look amazing, or as amazing as you can. Little steps to get to the bigger goal! …I was super excited, having seen most of your TikToks, about interviewing you today. Thank you for your time!

I'm glad you enjoy our social media content. We'll continue to share our content and updates as we get through development.

We've got a few new ones coming up soon. We've just got to fix some bugs and then I can do some recording.

Interview has been edited for length and clarity.

That's very exciting. Is there anything else about your experiences with creating Indigenous games you’d want to speak to?

I think this is a really great opportunity for us to tell our stories because of the immersion and educational value that you can push into a game. There's definitely an opportunity for Māori stories on gaming platforms. Though it is incredibly difficult to hit the global market. And when you are trying to pitch a Māori game, or an indigenous game, even to publishers or investors, you have another layer that you need to explain to them as well - the cultural layer. You're gonna do a pitch, but you also have to pitch your culture as well.

Do you have any advice for students wanting to follow in your footsteps?

Written By Caeden Tipler (they/them) @caedentipler NEWS EDITOR

“COOK ME A SANDWICH, WOMAN!”

I can’t begin to count the number of times and types of slurs I’ve been called by an ‘Alpha’ male in a game of Valorant; I wouldn’t have enough fingers on two hands to do so. Or the number of times I’ve been pushed to be a ‘healer’ and to leave the duelling to the “ones that can handle it better”.

There have been plenty of times when the mute button became my friend. Their words, as ‘harmless’ as they may be, just a voice from the other side of the screen, sunk under my skin and nestled its home in the depths of my brain, making me constantly worry about how I sound on the microphone.

against my glass, and all I could say was: “I’m sorry.”

Thanks to my brother, I grew up loving video games. The PlayStation 2 was my first immersion into the pixel world.

From Crash Bandicoot to Sypro, simple games that my 10-year-old brain could handle (shout out to that one Tony Hawk Skate game that I remember playing constantly to the point where the CD became so scratched that it would jitter the game itself.) Because of my brother, I continued playing video games as I grew older, eventually moving to a Playstation 4 and my PC.

“what are you, a fucking [r slur]?” Mute.

I moved to more competitive games, craving the feeling of satisfaction that I couldn’t get out of completing Kingdom Hearts’ boss fights or having my Minecraft “2 weeks phase” end at an unfortunate time. That’s when the world of shooter games came to me. It was as if a light had shone from the sky onto my PC as I watched the world's pandemonium of Fortnite explode on our screens. Holy shit, I spent most of the 2020 Lockdowns on this game, ending up with 2000 hours on it… It was addicting; going up against people to try to get that victory crown. Even though it’s a digital crown and is literally useless in the game, other than to brag that you are capable of holding your ground – to me, it was about proving my worth.

Then I discovered Valorant and my ‘gaming career’ went downhill. Valorant’s first-person tactical PC game was created by Riot Games (well-known for creating League of Legends). You play as agents with different abilities and there are various guns brought in the store. It’s a 5v5 situation on different maps and various game selections, from Unrated to Swiftplay. Now, there is one game mode that is a cesspit for toxicity to gather: Competitive. All of a sudden, I went from getting crowns in Fortnite to trying to move up through the various ranks of Valorant. I went from having fun to proving my worth every single game, not wanting to be on the bottom frag of the team or disappointing them.

Everything seemed fine.

Until I made one mistake in a game, and a man on my team called me the R slur. The moment that word left his lips it stabbed my skin, I was wounded. As a disabled gamer (a deaf/HOH player!), it stung. It fucking hurt not only my ego but my mentality. He continued speaking, throwing stones

And then it was as if a storm had appeared, sending down lightning, and I was in the middle of a field, vulnerable. Each bolt dangerously close to me, with each word as vile as the next. Each game welcomed a dark cloud of daggers into my back: “bro you sound fat as fuck” Mute. “ew, what is your voice? are you a man or a woman?” Mute.

“go make me a sandwich, woman” Mute.

How come I have to mute them? How come I’m not allowed to enjoy a game without having every single one of my moves criticised by someone who thinks he is entitled? Can I finally say something without it having to be an apology? Every single one of these words has slipped out of a man’s mouth, and every single time, it has made me wonder whether I belong in the gaming community, and wonder why I am denied entry to the ‘boys’ club’?

Eventually, I got used to it. I started to bite back, even if it meant losing my sense of self-worth because I was doing exactly what they were doing. I stooped to their level. I wanted to break the chains of being restricted to cosy games, (stereotypically ‘female’ games within the community), such as Stardew Valley or The Sims. But if it meant losing my identity to play these ‘boy’s’ games, then was it worth it? Was it not considered ‘girly’ enough if I played Dead by Daylight or Apex Legends?

It was difficult, having to balance between femininity and my love for “masculine” video games – who was I? But then I saw so many people in my position, and I saw them fighting back. For the first time since playing shooter games, it gave me hope. I saw others experiencing the same sort of ableism and misogyny on not only Valorant but also other FPS platforms such as Overwatch or Call of Duty. They didn’t surrender to the words that struck my anxiety, but used them as armour. No woman was left out of this fight. It was as if the storm had passed, and the sun shone down again, and that’s when I knew I wasn’t alone.

And to those who are toxic towards people in online games?

Maybe check yourself first before you start to hurt others. After all, it’s just a game bro :) We all want to have fun here <3

Written By Tahlia Coward (She/Any) @totallymothman CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Written By Tashi Donnelly (She/Her) @tashi_rd FEATURES EDITOR

I Pretended to Have My Period Every Week for a Year, to Get Out of P.E. To be clear, I don’t hate sports. It’s not my fault I have as much coordination as a giraffe in roller skates. As such, large portions of my school years were spent concocting creative ways to avoid the embarrassment of compulsory physical education.

Depending on the school, and the teacher, I had varying degrees of success. It’s hard to describe the euphoria I felt when I accomplished my goal, possibly something close to what sports folk feel when scoring a goal, but I wouldn't know anything about that. It’s akin to waking up safely in your own bed after a terrible nightmare, or plans being cancelled when you didn’t want to go out anyway. When I failed, it was like turning up to school in your underwear and realising you have to give a speech you didn't write on a subject you haven’t studied and also you piss yourself in front of the whole school (and now Ryan will never ask you to the disco).

My first run-in with success was sports day, in year 6. I begrudgingly completed the sprint, but when it came time for the high jump and long jump, I noticed a group of kids sitting to the side who weren’t joining in. Kids with glasses or other disabilities that prevented them from being able to safely participate. I confidently sat down on the bench beside them. “Why can’t you do the jump?”, one girl asked me, “I usually wear glasses but I didn’t bring them today”, I replied. Nailed it. When the teacher asked why I wasn’t getting in line, my new short-sighted friend jumped to my defence, “She usually has glasses, but she’s not wearing them today.” Perfectly executed. I’m still chasing that high to this day.

In Year 7, I went to Titirangi Rudolf Steiner School. Steiner schools are kind of like your favourite hippy aunt who tries to heal intergenerational trauma by eating organically and attending silent yoga retreats instead of going to therapy. She’s still your favourite aunt, but you’re worried she might be in a cult.

That year, we began training, I shit you not, for an ancient Greek style Olympics camp. We’d compete against other Steiner schools nationally in sports like javelin and discus throwing, running, and Greek wrestling, all while wearing togas with sashes we decorated ourselves in art class. They expected me, at the tender age of 13, on the cusp of discovering what it truly meant to feel embarrassment, to do a long jump, in a toga, in front of my crush? My ego had suffered enough for the weeks leading up to the camp, training in our school field. Preparation for Mission: No Way in Hell was simple. The week before we were scheduled to leave, I started getting a bit of a tummy ache. A few days before, the headache settles in. Subtlety is key, you don’t want to complain too much or you’ll be scheduled for a doctor's appointment. On the night before, a fake cry about how you “really wanted to go, but you can’t even get out

of bed today”, seals the deal. I successfully avoided what could have been the worst humiliation of my life.

During high school, my parents recognised the mental anguish sports inflicted on me and consented to let me stay home on designated Sports Days. This didn’t relieve me of weekly P.E. classes, unfortunately. I had multiple tactics to worm my way out of this torture. Sucking up to the art teachers by asking them if they needed help with anything was a winner. Cleaning out paint buckets and sorting wool trumps getting my ass beat in dodgeball any day. But too many weeks of this in a row and the jig would be up. Going to the nurse's office with a fake migraine was also always on the table, but you have to sprinkle in a few migraines during other lessons so it doesn’t become suspicious.

In year 11, my 65-year-old English teacher took over P.E. This sweet elderly man, with over 40 years of teaching experience, did not have it in him to question how it was that I had “lady troubles” every. single. week. for an entire school year.

I can’t really say what I’m more proud of, avoiding an entire term of volleyball, or taking advantage of the discomfort of this old man, unable to cope with a conversation about periods with a teenage girl. What was this innocent teacher to do, tell me I’m not on my period? He can’t prove that. No one wanted me to play sports anyway, I was a liability to any team I was on. I spent entire afternoons reading and catching up on school work, no harm no foul. It was a victimless crime.

Alas, my days of having to avoid P.E. are well and truly behind me. But even now, I still shudder at the thought of forced athletics. I’m aware that my avoidance has likely contributed to my lack of coordination and skill in ball-throwing and bat-waving, but much like calculus, in the 10 years since I left school, needing that skill hasn't come up once in my everyday life. There is some kind of tragedy in this tale, I’m certain that if I hadn’t been bullied for my lack of natural skill in sports, I wouldn’t have become so phobic of it. But then I wouldn’t have become a cringeworthy hipster art girl to cope with the shame of being bad at cricket.

Technology is an integral part of the world we live in, and online games are the most accessible they’ve ever been.

With player numbers at an all-time high, there is an immense diversity of people in the space, and copious games to suit their needs. The question is, what genre suits you? It’s time to reach a verdict.

Perhaps you’re the self-described ‘noob’ who’s just there for the ride, relying on friends for in-game progress? Or the competitive type, with a strong sense of pride that relies on your rank?

It could be that you call yourself a ‘casual’ player, but hide your total playtime on Steam. (It may be hidden, but we know those suspiciously high numbers are there).

Regardless of the type of player you think you are, buckle up kiddos, ‘cause we’re about to uncover what gaming habits you truly have through your degree.

How did this verdict come about, you ask? From my completely accurate and scientific opinion as a passionate gamer, of course.

I’ll even throw in some indie recommendations (You can thank me later).

Before you proceed, heed my warning: If you feel attacked…

Then it’s true.

(Games with a * refer to an 18+ content warning) Bachelor of Arts | Action-Adventure In line with your creative interests, the idea of disappearing into an expansive world or moving story is incredibly appealing. With key titles including God of War, Red Dead Redemption 2*, or The Last of Us*, who would blame you for loving the action-adventure genre? Perhaps you even dragged a friend along for It Takes Two (or multiple friends… sneaky, sneaky). You let yourself be whisked away, into an alternate reality filled with places to explore, facing dynamic encounters with characters both friend and foe. As you become obsessed with the landscape and lore, it’s as if you’re no longer a university student with exams to sit and assignments to hand in. You don’t even finish all the games you’ve bought before favouring new ones…

Whilst I earnestly suggest you keep your wallet hidden for the time being, Outer Wilds is my indie recommendation for you, with The Plucky Squire as an upcoming alternative you may find interesting.

Bachelor of Design | Role-Playing Games (RPGs) Always thinking outside of the box and enjoying stylish and quirky characters (such as yourself), you fit right into the RPG category. Taking on a new persona and surrounded by a humming society in MMO titles Final Fantasy or World of Warcraft, you become an integral part of a fresh, extensive social space.

Fighting enemies, crawling through dungeons, or divulging into deep conversations in server lobbies - a whole new world is your oyster.

When you feel more reserved or subdued, there’s always a new class or species in games like Baldur’s Gate 3* for you to try, or a sudden urge to fulfil the Pokémon slogan. If you haven’t already, you may want to try Undertale, or the newer indie, Sea of Stars.

Bachelor of Computer and Information Sciences | First Person Shooters (FPS) Ah yes, the gremlins of the gaming world. Just kidding! (Or am I?).

You and I play a tad too many games. Any genre goes, but what do we keep coming back to at the end of the day? First-Person Shooters. Top titles such as Valorant, Counter Strike 2 and Rainbow Six Siege just hit differently. A bit of action and some much-needed social interaction goes a long way, and the hours just seem to disappear. Whether in a party or alone, rain or shine, the gaming grind continues. Perhaps a few of those decisions to queue up instead of studying for your finals weren’t the smartest - but hey! It’s a new semester, you’ve got this. For some of you, however, the amount of hours in this genre rivals the money you’ve spent in it… now that’s on you, dear friend. Although your pockets may already be crying, indie title Deep Rock Galactic may provide you with a great change of pace.

Bachelor of Sport and Recreation | Fighters What better way to let off some steam than by beating your opponent into the ground? Fighter titles such as Mortal Kombat* and Tekken are where your darker tendencies emerge. Whether it’s the satisfaction of hitting those combos or the gruesome brutal finishers to secure the round - displaying immense power over your opponent fills you with an unbridled mix of rage and joy. Just make sure those punches don’t break the fourth wall!

I’d recommend having a look at indie title SIFU with its compelling game loop. If you’re feeling a bit more adventurous, action-platformer Katana Zero may provide you with a different, but similar ‘kick’ of adrenaline (Aren’t I funny?).

Bachelor of Communications | Party/Co-Op Games Ah, communications. You’d think with a degree in the subject you’d be much better at it, but alas, the screaming and shouting in Overcooked 2, Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes, or Escape The Backrooms are what make them so special, right? When you aren’t yelling for someone to “DO THEIR JOB!!!”, then you’re arguing that you did, in fact, do yours. These debates continue into social deduction games such as Among Us, the COVID classic.

Chaotic confusion seems to take precedence over communication in these games.

You should try new indie release Chained Together, and when you inevitably fail (or rage-quit), perhaps take a look at NZ indie Abiotic Factor for some reprieve.

Bachelor of Health Sciences | Survival-Horror Whether you’ve always enjoyed the thrill of the chase, lying awake at night in fear, or happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time - roped into it by your friend’s incessant nagging - the Survival-Horror genre remains your haunted abode. A daily dose of terrors from Phasmophobia or the eerie scenery of The Forest set your skin crawling, but it’s all worth it to scare the living daylights out of a friend, right? Perhaps you are more of an adrenaline junkie, hoping to juke the killer in Dead by Daylight, leaving your teammates upon a hook, or perhaps you find the frequent jumpscares of the Five Nights at Freddy’s franchise your spooky cup of tea.

If you’re looking for a good time with friends, Lethal Company or Content Warning are indie titles to look into. If you want a more solo experience, I’ve heard tabletop-horror Buckshot Roulette* may be worth a try.

Bachelor of Law | Platformers Oh boy. With the amount of stress you’ll endure in your studies and career, one would think you’d avoid the immense pressure and subsequent despair that platformers Celeste or Jump King produce. Yet here you are. No success without suffering, right?

One must persist, or whatever that cheesy quote is. That ‘smoking hot babe’ isn’t going to save herself, so it’s imperative you reach the summit! The frustration of failure multiplies with the addition of a friend in Bread and Fred, and the game becomes a courtroom when you can’t figure out who’s to blame.

When you need a break from the ‘teamwork’, or the dark caverns of Hollow Knight, look out for picturesque Neva. If you’re chomping at the bit for a new challenge, New Zealand indie Rose and Locket may be to your liking, or the new spin on the genre in upcoming Screenbound.

snuggle into your blanket is a lovely idea, so enjoy it while it lasts. Whenever you need a break from the school cycle, check out gentle little indie A Short Hike (you can fit it into your lunch break), or hang tight for upcoming titles Witchbrook and Among The Wild.

Bachelor of Business | Roguelike If you aren’t trying to collect clients or investors like Pokémon, you’re collecting followers in Cult of the Lamb. The roguelike genre is where it’s at, with titles such as Hades or Dead Cells providing hours of restarting replaying and failing progressing through to that evasive final ending. With a range of paths to take and weapons to equip, the endless experiences created by the random-generation of these dungeon crawlers helps to break the monotonous cycle of the corporate world.

You may already have your eyes on upcoming indies Hades II or Deep Rock Galactic: Survivor, but if you’re up for something new, I’ve heard card-roguelike Inscryption* may quench your craving.

Bachelor of Architecture and Future Environments | Sandbox If you’re not building mini renditions of the newest monstrosity on the block, you’re making them digitally. I hate to break it to you, but playing The Sims 4 isn’t going to help you pass your class or secure your first big project (Although it will help your Sims live in style). The endless possibilities of Terraria and Minecraft keep you entertained for hours. With so many things to make, break or build, I can’t blame you.

There’s always something new to do, such as trying out indie title Core Keeper. If I were you, I’d also keep an eye out for the incredibly exciting and seemingly endless indie Light No Fire.

“Wait. You can’t stop there, you’ve missed me - my degree isn’t mentioned here!” Hush, my fearsome keyboard warrior, for I am no fool. If you should not fall into the categories listed above, then you, my friend, are likely a League of Legends player.

Or you play Papa’s Freezeria (what an absolute classic).

One of the two.

Believe it or not, we have merely scratched the surface of the expansive world of game genres. Whilst a myriad are left untouched, I leave that upon you, dear soldier. With your verdict confirmed, go forth and discover!

Bachelor of Education | Cozy Dating Simulators Whilst it may be possible to remove unwanted villagers from the cheerful simulator Animal Crossing, unfortunately, the same cannot be said for your future classroom (I know, it can be tough to swallow). Better get used to the antics of your quirky town neighbours and brush up on your friendship skills in Stardew Valley, because the quiet, peaceful farming life stops with the click of a power switch.

Stepping into a little world and taking on a different role as you

Written By Trinity Thompson (she/her) CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Winners in Our Eyes One of the most prominent queer moments in women’s football was when Swedish player, Magdalena Eriksson, kissed her partner, Danish player Pernille Harder in the 2019 Women’s World Cup. Last year, the 2023 Women’s World Cup brought a new wave of queer moments, as Australia’s Matildas became unofficially named the gayest team, with 13 out of 23 players in the squad being openly queer.

Having queer players in a sports environment was also put in the spotlight during the Men’s World Cup in 2022. During that year the event was held in Qatar; a country that criminalises homosexuality. Previously, team captains used the ‘One Love’ armband which represented anti-racism, anti-discrimination, LGBTQ+ rights and human rights campaigns started by the Dutch team in 2020. However, this armband was banned in the 2022 World Cup, where players were threatened with sporting sanctions, including card bookinags for merely wearing a different armband. This ban continued throughout the 2023 FIFA Women’s World Cup. Whilst they were banned from using the armband, the Matildas still captured the queer community’s hearts all over the world because the players were comfortable in their identities. Having openly “out” players meant that the queer community had role models to follow, which was a particularly rare case in sports history.

As the Matildas progressed through the World Cup, so did their reach. Their World Cup journey started with two wins against Ireland and Canada in the group stage and progressed to the Round of 16, where they won against Denmark. During a faceoff against France in the quarterfinals, the crowd witnessed the longest penalty shootout in Women’s World Cup history.

Despite their 1-3 loss to the English team in the semi-finals, Sam Kerr scored an incredible goal which was nominated for FIFA 2023 Puskas Award. Their match against England became the most-watched TV program since Cathy Freeman’s 400m final in the 2000 Olympics. Despite not gaining a medal, the Matildas secured their highest-ever finish in the World Cup, reaching an impressive 4th place. While they may have not made it to the podium, the Matildas set a new record for the biggest women’s football crowd, reaching 75,784 people.

Whilst this may seem like a big win for women’s football, it is also a huge win for the queer community. A recent Disney documentary series, Matildas: World At Our Feet, follows the Matildas in their daily lives, including exploring their queer identities, relationships and families. In a sport that is filled with toxic masculinity, it is refreshing to see women who are comfortable in their queer identities be successful in the sport.

In the documentary, moments are captured such as Matildas captain and Ballon d'Or Finalist, Sam Kerr, making breakfast for her girlfriend Kristie Mewis. Another shows Dutch footballer Daniëlle van de Donk helping her girlfriend, Matildas defender, Ellie Carpenter, working through an ACL injury. Queer relationships are highlighted throughout, with Tameka Yalllop, current Matildas midfielder and her wife, Kirsty Yallop, both looking after their daughter at the Matildas camp. Matildas: World At Our Feet provides the representation that is often lacking within sports and sports media. For young queer people, this is an important example to show that you can live a normal life and have a successful career without having to hide your identity. Sacrifice is no longer needed, as having one no longer involves requiring to give up the other. The Matildas are truly a beacon of hope to those who are still grasping their identities and sexualities, whilst tackling the homophobia that is unfortunately still within society today.

It is so crucial for queer people to have role models in a society that is heavily filled with heteronormativity. Despite the Matildas only having become more known to the world during the 2023 Women’s World Cup, Sam Kerr has been a constant role model for Australia ever since she debuted for the Matildas at just 15 years old. Kerr has had an extremely successful career, including becoming the highest-scoring player for Australia after surpassing Tim Cahill in January 2022. She also finished as the top goal scorer in three leagues across three different countries and is the only player to have done so. In addition to this, she was also the first female to make the cover of the FIFA video game, alongside Kylian Mbappé.

This success is something that stuns Australia and one that queer women hold closely to their hearts. Whilst being a successful striker for the Matildas and Chelsea, Kerr has undoubtedly become known as one of the best football players in the world.

Growing up in a society where being straight is the accepted norm, it is amazing to see Sam Kerr, a queer woman of colour, spotlit in the public eye. Visible in magazines, video games and the media, her career is proof that careers in sports are for everyone. An inspiration for many, the Matildas have shown that they are a compassionate team unphased by toxic heteronormativity within sports, being a blueprint for future queer sportspeople and fans. Despite their loss to England, the Matildas have most definitely won in our eyes and hearts.

Written By C Fonseca (they/them) @c.fonseca06703 CONTRIBUTING WRITER Illustration By Ann Mariya (she/her) @your_love_ann

CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATOR

Despite the many amazing recommendations in this issue, it’s finally time to turn the console off. If you haven’t gotten distracted yet, I beg of you to hear my desperate plea: Pause the video game and touch grass - or rather - touch steel.

I am taking this opportunity to enlighten you about the glorious pursuit of axe throwing, which has recently become my entire personality. Perhaps even convincing readers to get some out-of-game, real-life action, or rather, axe-tion, in their lives. You may have assumed this sport was left in the past, reserved only for the mightiest of Viking warriors, however, it is very much alive and kicking today!

Social There’s nothing quite like breaking the ice by hauling around some sharp weaponry!

In my, while limited, yet very much amazing experiences in axe throwing, I’ve found it to be a great way to get to know people better and have some (at times) friendly competition. If intense duels are not your style, do not fret. A positive about this sport is the fact that you only need one person to do it! During sessions at Sweet Axe, there is never any pressure to compete within your group. Instead, you have the freedom to choose how you’d like to throw, with the lovely selection of spikey, shiny sticks ready to be wedged in the walls. Unfortunately, none of them talk like Lucy the Axe (Terarria players, if you know you know), but they’re still neat. If you’d rather spend an hour and a half swinging in silence or singing along to the blast of My Chemical Romance playing from the speakers, I’m certain you’ll have a great time.

Axessible Whether you can lift 100 kilograms, or struggle to hold ten, there will be a technique and axe to be your match. The axessibility factor within this sport was great news for me, knowing I can give it a go and do decently well while not having to maintain a rigorous training routine and protein intake (#gains) (#gymlyfe). With cheery trained professionals showing you the ropes, as well as facilities that have netting and walls that ensure you don’t hit the ceiling, it’s the safest environment to be tossing steel in. To put it into perspective for you, the last time I went to the gym was before the first Covid-19 lockdown, and I consider the walk from campus to Eden Noodles as a form of exercise. So, if I can do it, so can you!

Uniqueness / Bragging Rights Take a moment to visualise this. You’re in the dentist’s office and have just gotten your teeth checked. They are perfect. Good job, man! Walking out of the office to the foyer desk, the receptionist greets you and asks what you have planned for the rest of your day. While you pay an absurd amount to be told in less than 30 minutes that your teeth are perfect, you respond: “Oh, just some axe-throwing.” The receptionist is utterly shocked as her literal jaw drops onto the pale blue lino desk, teeth shattering instantaneously. Never in her 20 years of dentist reception-ing has she heard such a cool and unique post-appointment activity from a patient.

Her entire perception of what reality is, is in that moment, also shattered. “It’s a good thing you work at a dental centre”, you tell her, before sauntering to the exit, the sunlight reflecting off of your shiningly perfect chompers.

Give or take 80% of this experience happened to me before my last axe-throwing session. This could be you. Throw the axe and gain the bragging rights.

Outfits The unspoken (yet obvious) theme of flannel, tartan and denim makes this a great activity for the outfit-obsessed. Even if the mere concept of holding an axe freaks you out, the opportunity to coordinate outfits with a friend or partner is too good to miss out on. Think of the photoshoots and fashionable memories to be made! I love any event that has a dress code, and I have to say, I think wearing flannel gives me a +4 accuracy boost. What a solid cheat code, right?

International fame and glory!

This sport has a habit of bringing together friendly and lively folks, and that is no exception when it comes to the Sweet Axe Manager, Britt. Introduced to axe-throwing through a Sweet Axe promotion in early 2020, she decided to give it a go at one of their axe-throwing league taster events. Once having gotten the swing of it, she joined the league and became hooked!

The Sweet Axe League is made up of a group of like-minded welcoming people who also like to throw axes (duh). Britt describes her experience in the league as being “at a family gathering, but only the family you like show up! Not only are we chatting in and out of the lanes, but a lot of the people I've met here have become some of my closest friends.

When I first joined the league, I knew nobody, and now I know everyone!”

Their “leaguies” are always actively looking for new throwers to mentor and get to know.

“Once they know your name, don't be surprised if they remember everything you talked about the week before.” Britt has also recently competed in the World Axe Throwing Championships in Tulsa, Oklahoma, representing Aotearoa with our national team: the ‘All Blaxe’. “To be standing in an arena with all of the best throwers in the world while being one of 6 people representing Aotearoa was surreal! However, unlike other throwers who have been competing for years longer than I have, I really didn't have anything I needed to live up to, so I tried to keep myself calm and enjoy the experience.” Britt qualified for both the ‘Hatchet’ and ‘Big Axe’ rounds, the former of which being the most competitive style of throwing. At the end of the day, Britt won a few games of ‘Big Axe’ and became ranked 33rd equal in the world - the furthest a Kiwi has gotten!

Having asked her what she often says to encourage the axe-curious to give a throw a go, she said this: “Axe throwing is by far the most accessible and inclusive sport I've ever been a part of. I've hosted wheelchair users with cerebral palsy, the foundation for the blind, a woman who was 103 as well as kids who've just turned twelve. As long as you want to give it a go and are happy to persevere, we can and WILL get you to stick at least one axe in the board!”

I entirely expect you to be reading this while dialling up Sweet Axe for a booking. It’s okay, I can wait. While this article was wholly brought on by my intense passion for a sport I’ve tried twice, and is indeed not sponsored by Sweet Axe, I did talk to the lovely people there about this piece and have organised a deal for you darling Debate readers!

Now go forth and be your inner butch.

Written By Stella Roper (they/she) @stellyvision ARTS & CULTURE EDITOR

Discount Offer $30 OFF - Mixed Group Session How to Redeem Bookings are essential, students can call/text/email to arrange a session. Code will be STUD30, If you’d like to bring a friend from another uni or a partner that’s welcome too.

T&C's Discount is for $30 off the standard price of a mixed group session for one person, usually $55 now $25. Bookings must be made in advance to ensure availability, Sweet Axe throwing Co. reserves the right to decline anyone from the premises who is under the influence of drugs or alcohol. All other T’s and C’s on the Sweet Axe website apply.

visit their website!

"F

From Barbarism to Domestication" — Maddie Dai & The Screenplay Behind We Were Dangerous It's a rainy day in London, and Maddie Dai has just got home from a social football kickaround. She's an avid fan of the sport.

The grey overcast mirrors the mood of a nation whose men's football team have left another tournament trophyless. But Dai is upbeat. We're here to celebrate and discuss We Were Dangerous, her feature film screenwriting debut. The film is a heartwarming tale of rebellion. On Ōtamahua (Quail Island), three young girls, Nellie, Daisy, and Lou, attend an institution for delinquent girls in 1950s Aotearoa. The film traces the trio "rallying against the system, but finding strength, friendship" and the "irrepressible spirit" that they all share.

This synopsis and the film are a lot lighter than what the logline for We Were Dangerous makes it seem. Despite the darkness in the film, as it delves into eugenic sterilisation, institutional Christianisation and religious colonisation, there is hope. In We Were Dangerous, Dai explores how humour is "a form of resistance and a binding agent." In the black of night, the film seeks out the light.

Dai's journey from Aotearoa to London, where she now resides, wasn't the most direct. Dai left these shores as a teenager because she received a scholarship to United World Colleges, an international network of educational institutions. The hustle and bustle of the neon-soaked streets of Hong Kong was a far cry from the Pōneke suburb of Kilbirnie, where Dai studied at St Catherine's College. Dai did "two years of high school in Hong Kong, with 250 kids from 80 or 90 countries."

This formative experience was what "shot her off into the world,” and she's never looked back since. Everyone at Dai's high school was applying to schools in America and Europe.

She followed suit. Why? "I can't tell you I had a good reason, except that everyone else was doing it. And all of a sudden, I was sitting the SATs." Neither of us knows what the SATs stand for, but Dai got a scholarship to a university in Vermont. “There was nothing to do in Vermont aside from being a lesbian sheep farmer,”so she made the move to New York. Ultimately, the Big Apple and America weren't for Dai, so she jumped across the Atlantic. The self-described former "art director slash bad graphic designer" turned cartoonist turned screenwriter is now at home in lugubrious London.

While in New York, Dai got the bug for cartooning, taking a night class taught by The New Yorker cartoonist Emily Flake.

"Every little career move I've made, I've done via a night class.

It's retired science teachers and other, you know, struggling

20-somethings." She describes finding this outlet for her ideas as a "drug". It gave her the freedom that being an art director at a creative agency didn't provide—Dai wasn't responding to other people's briefs or churning out creative content that she didn't feel enthusiastic about.

“Every little career move I’ve made, I’ve done via a night class. It’s retired science teachers and other, you know, struggling 20-somethings.”

Since 2017, Dai has contributed more than 70 cartoons to The New Yorker, many of which you may have seen, but she has now pivoted away from her day job. Just in time, it seems. Dai says that if "there was ever a person whose job was threatened by AI, it was fully me. I was bad at my job."

She still contributes to The New Yorker. Her most recent cartoon is about how Photoshop is an essential skill for a mediaeval princess, alongside dancing and embroidery. But now, screenwriting is her profession, having started working on scripts during the pandemic. One day, there was an email in her inbox. It was from Piki—the Aotearoa production company founded by Taika Waititi and Carthew Neal. Dai had only told a few friends she was trying out screenwriting, and one of them, who works with Piki, had passed on the word. They're a big deal. They're responsible for producing such hits as Hunt for the Wilderpeople, the Oscar-winning Jojo Rabbit, and The Breaker Upperers. The email came out of the blue and shocked Dai. "We hear you're trying screenwriting. I was like, what? This is crazy. Because not only was that true, but I also was trying to write this film [We Were Dangerous] for them."

Dai is conscious that her trajectory as a screenwriter is “unusual”, but she’s “grateful to all the powers that be.

Piki had a director in mind to helm the script: Josephine Stewart-Te Whiu (Ngāpuhi/Te Rarawa). She co-wrote and acted in Waru, the anthology drama about the tangi of a small boy. Her short film Ani premiered at the prestigious Berlin Film Festival in 2019, but We Were Dangerous would be the first feature for both Dai and Stewart-Te Whiu. Dai is conscious that her trajectory as a screenwriter is "unusual", but she's "grateful to all the powers that be."

Piki, Dai and Stewart-Te Whiu hit the ground running, and for a year and a half, they "cracked on with the script" until it was

ready for the New Zealand Film Commission. During this period, to Dai, "every day was like film school." She applied a studious rigour, learning all she could, and it paid off big time. We Were Dangerous had its world premiere at SXSW 2024 and was awarded the Special Jury Award for Filmmaking in the Narrative Feature Competition.

We Were Dangerous had its world premiere at SXSW 2024 and was awarded the Special Jury Award for Filmmaking in the Narrative Feature Competition.

As described by the jury at SXSW, We Were Dangerous “confronts a sobering and all-too-relevant history with a sly sense of absurdity and the camaraderie of its three young leads."

But how did Dai approach writing the screenplay? It started with her interest in a story where it was unlikely to have three teenage girls as the protagonist. Only recently, in films such as Whina, Cousins and Kāinga, the female voice has come to the forefront of cinema in Aotearoa.

Dai wanted the film's protagonists to "feel opinionated, spirited, rebellious, loud, idiosyncratic, and silly." They all are, and then some. In We Were Dangerous, despite the wicked matron and the horror of eugenic sterilisation, the fierce trio stick up their middle finger. For Dai, "It's almost impossible to feel close to characters who you can't laugh with." In one scene, the matron exclaims to a classroom that "Jesus wasn't friends with sex delinquents". "I think you'll find he was", Nellie replies.

wives of 'degenerate' men. The 'unfit' was an encompassing term of othering used to label criminals, prostitutes, 'illegitimate' children (and their mothers), the 'unemployable', homosexuals, minorities and those with physical or intellectual disabilities. Dai also cites the Mazengarb report, which she read "cover to cover". The report, which was sent to every household in Aotearoa in 1954, blamed 'juvenile delinquency' and the perceived promiscuity on working mothers, the ready availability of contraceptives, and young women enticing men to have sex. It advocated for a return to Christian and traditional values.

This dark and unknown history of eugenic sterilisation in Aotearoa is part of what makes We Were Dangerous essential viewing. The film is a joyous story of female rebellion, but its truths are disturbingly relevant. Just look at the United States.

Or look closer to home. Chris Luxon believes that abortion is tantamount to murder. The brilliance of Dai and the screenplay for We Were Dangerous shines through. Although grounded in a specific context, its themes are universal. It's easy to imagine audiences from Kerikeri to Kansas relating to Nellie, Daisy, and Lou as they fight for control over their bodies and lives. Dai hopes audiences will "find a lot of joy" despite the darkness.

With a snappy runtime, you "could do worse things with an hour and a half,” she says.

We Were Dangerous will open the Whānau Mārama: New Zealand International Film Festival in Tāmaki Makaurau on the 7th of August. Tickets are on sale now, with a 5-trip student pass available to purchase online until the 11th of July.

Dai wanted the film’s protagonists to “feel opinionated, spirited, rebellious, loud, idiosyncratic, and silly.”

Alongside humour, at the backbone of cartooning, the medium explores something "unjust" and then tries "to create a point of view where you're in opposition to it." So Dai, in We Were Dangerous, uses humour to rebuke the document The Fertility of the Unfit, which is explicitly seen in the film. The matron is encouraged by a government official not to think of "the girls as wives and mothers" as that "may well be beyond them." One by one, in the dead of night, Nellie, Daisy, and Lou's fellow 'delinquents' are taken to a wooden cabin and forcibly sterilised.

Published in 1903 by W. A. Chapple, the Fertility of the Unfit sought to reduce the numbers of the 'unfit' by sterilising the

Written By Thomas Giblin (he/him) @thegreengiblin ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR

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Dungeons & Dragons (D&D) is a tabletop roleplaying game (TTRPG) originally created by Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson in 1974. While initially a battle-oriented, masculinity-lathed, heteronormative power fantasy expanding on the tactical war games of the 1960s – the D&D 5e (5th Edition) of today is a collaborative storytelling framework that lets players freely explore a world of their choosing, playing characters that they’ve created, unbound by one’s personal self.

D&D has long been a hobby associated with neurodivergence, and in recent years it has also been increasingly associated with the LGBTQIA+ community. To the extent that even the 5e Player’s Handbook itself has embraced the malleability of identity. “You don’t need to be confined to binary notions of sex and gender” it states in the character creation section, followed by the classic trans allegory of “You could also play a female character who presents herself as a man [or] a man who feels trapped in a female body.” This marks a huge difference from the original Player’s Handbook, which exclusively referred to all NPCs (Non-Player Characters) as male. Your gender, sexuality, and neurochemistry have no mechanical impact on the game’s many systems. And when you really think about it…why should the game care what you identify as? You can play as an anthropomorphised amorphous ball of ooze if you so choose.

There are several tropes when it comes to identity and D&D: “If you play as a Tiefling (Devil spawn) then you’re a lesbian”, and my personal favourite: “If you can’t tell which player at your table is using their character to work through their identity issues, it’s you”.

Humans often can’t work through traumatic things head-on, because of a drive to distance ourselves from things that are painful. Through the psychotherapeutic concept of “Holding and containment”, we can empathise with a third party to work through our trauma. This can take the form of reading a novel and realising we’re gay, watching a movie and coming to terms with a loss, or playing a D&D character and completely rethinking our own self-identity…

Speaking of which…

F33L - Autism & Gender Nonconformity

The first D&D character I created was a genderless robot, F33L, brought to consciousness by accidentally ingesting the heart of its wizard master. While not a conscious decision at the time, I used F33L to explore my autism and general gender nonconformity, through the lens of being a robot experiencing human emotion and socialisation for the first time. We played one session, and working through my autism was put on hold for-

Artois - ADHD (The “A” Stands for “Angry”, and the “H” Stands for “Her”) The second D&D character I created was a young woman named Artois, she was a bard, and she was a mess. This was my first foray into being a woman, and nothing can describe the anxious joy of being referred to as “she” and as “her” by my friends while in character. She started as an androgynous character, but as the campaign went on she became more overtly fem…and overtly angry.

In a 2019 Dimension 20 interview, actor & prominent D&D player Erika Ishii says “I can say personally my D&D characters started dating girls before I did”. She speaks about it almost as if it wasn’t a conscious decision, which for me, it wasn’t. I wasn’t purposefully using this character that I had created to work through my issues – it just happened. I’m sure there are

cisgender AMAB people out there who play a woman in D&D and it doesn’t spark something in them. But for me it was the first taste of a level of comfort I had never experienced, a rage I had never tapped into, and I did it all without anyone around me being able to clock the eggshell fracturing.

feel safe enough with their fellow players to come out to them.

A big part of playing D&D is making choices, taking risks, and seeing where the dice-rolls take you as you figure out where you’re going and what you’re doing. In that same Reddit thread, a user named MightyShamus commented something that I think is beautiful. “The things in Dnd that make you different tend to be the things that make you powerful.”

Are you questioning your gender identity and/or your sexuality? Do you want to collaboratively tell a compelling story while adventuring with your friends? Then I highly recommend buying a set of 7 dice, finding a group, and making yourself a character to explore the parts of yourself you wish you could.

You don’t need to buy any books or know anything about the game to simply jump in and see if you can’t learn a little something about who you are.

Amy Proudman in her 2021 Dicebreaker article, talks about D&D giving her the “freedom to explore gender” while also giving her “plausible deniability for what [she] was doing”. That’s what Artois became for me in retrospect, a chance to embody something that I had written off ever experiencing for myself, and in my case doing so before I was aware that it was what I was doing.

References: Dimension 20. (21st of Feb 2019). Playing in a Safe Space (with Erika Ishii). Adventuring Academy Episode 4, YouTube.

Miscellaneous Reddit Users. (2022). Why is there so much overlap between LGBT+ and DnD Players?. Reddit.

Proudman, Amy. (3rd of March 2021). How Dungeons & Dragons helped me discover my gender identity. Dicebreaker.

Maebh - A Changeling Who Isn’t From Around Here

By the time we get to my current D&D character, Maebh, a shapeshifting changeling woman flung 10,000 years through time, you can see the thread of my roleplaying. By this point, I was “she/her” to the people I was playing with, and Maebh didn’t have to carry Artois’ rage of a repressed woman trapped in a man’s body, she now had to carry the confusion of a woman trying to morph herself to fit into a strange new world.

The trans allegory of a shapeshifter modelled the changes in my body and my perceived self; and Maebh being from the past modelled my confusion at the world and where I fit into it through both my identity as a trans woman and my ever-present relationship with my autism.

In a reddit thread asking about overlap between LGBTQ+ people and D&D players, there were countless stories of people playing characters with genders different from their own, who through the shared experience of collaborative storytelling with their friends, were able to realise that they were trans and

Written & Illustrated by Cameron McCurdy (she/her) @leighapparently SOCIAL MEDIA COORDINATOR

Niche Spaces & Unres Video game soundtracks can be the make or break of anyone’s gaming experience. If you’re loading up Rainbow Six Siege or Valorant, you may be more focused on the flashing lights and candy-coated distraction that the gaming industry loves to shove down unmedicated ADHD havers throats (we consume it half willingly.) Heoi an, if you’re a sane human (unlike myself) you may be settling down in front of your preferred gaming console running games where you focus on exploration, development and experience. Video games create a sense of escapism, a portal to a new world where we are free to discover - the rules are simply at the whim of their creators. I joke about the addictive qualities of games, yet the reality is that games are a product of artistic consumerism, engineered to create a rush of fear or ecstasy through flashing gameplay or psychological torment. The main enabler behind this?

The sonic warfare that takes place between your ears as you traverse whatever world you’ve found yourself loading into.

Stretching the boundaries of what music is capable of, video game soundtracks seamlessly blend the art of sound design with sonic synesthesia. Some designers create memorable motifs that will withstand the trials of time - think of any music from the Super Mario soundtrack or the neverending internet obsession with Undertale boss music. Others treat the game as an empty canvas waiting to be filled with serene music that tells its own story - games like Hollow Knight are an amazing example. Christopher Larkin, composer for the game, creates a world in which the player is free to plug in headphones and roam. The game is simply not itself without the serene, ever-changing music as you wander amongst creatures and ghouls from another world.

The popularity of this game stemmed from the beautiful soundscapes that elevated the seamless animation. The mind is a wondrous thing with the

smallest of audio clues becoming cemented in your brain, waiting for the time in which they become useful or applicable. Hollow Knight is no stranger to utilising this gift to make the player anticipate certain movements or outcomes when engaged in battle or exploration, and it isn’t the only game that achieves this. In 1978 when the first gaming soundtrack was created for Space Invaders, many recognised that the simple soundtrack incorporated an accelerating beat that would mimic a human’s heartbeat, creating more and more stress for the player as you progressed to higher levels. It would be foolish to claim all of Space Invaders' success came from the soundtrack but as the pioneer of video game soundtracks, this was groundbreaking.

What did we learn from it? Only that sonic manipulation is a wondrous, terrifying resource for composers and game devs alike.

To call this role ‘niche’ feels reductive, yet it is no secret that seeking work in such small specific music spaces as a composer feels like a death sentence.

Creation for a video game soundtrack falls in a similar space to film composition, with less imagery and more subtlety. I feel like a broken record yapping about the importance of the arts vs the actual payoff from the world but despite its unique position within the game development world, most soundtrack composers will go unnoticed, sometimes uncredited for their work. Game developers seldom seek out smaller artists nowadays, choosing instead to opt for a string of royalty-free sounds on some soulless website (notice I said seldom - if you want to support and check out a very cool music game project, check out Club Ruby’s new game based on their EP, Was God Birthed!?). Due to this, we are seeing less ingenuity in these spaces and more recycling of bland, half-assed ideas. AI has played a neutral role in this movement, with decent sound design programmes becoming more and

solved Boss Battles more accessible and small AI-generated sound bytes feeding into the fever dream of ‘easy’ game development. We went from the smallest sounds creating entire worlds to reduce, reuse, and recycling the offcuts from bigger projects or people. Yet again I ask, where are the creatives? Busy struggling to live off scraps of work, I’d assume.

However, it is not all doom and gloom. The tradition of good video game soundtracks is not going anywhere! I wish for the revitalisation of good indie game devs creating hidden gems alongside their composers, and with our widespread access to information and lightning-fast communication, I feel like I won’t have to wait long. Alas, we find ourselves in the interim now, looking to the horizon for possible glimmers of hope. If you take nothing else away from this, let it be the importance of admiring the sound design worked into every nook and cranny of the games we know and love.

Written By Hirimaia Eketone (they/them) @hiri_music iwi - Ngāti Maniapoto CONTRIBUTING WRITER Illustration By Sahana Vijayaraghavan (she/her) @ _sahana.shavij_ CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATOR

Extreme Makeover The Paris 2024 Olympic Games. The Olympics evokes Greece, tradition, rings, medals and glory. “Olympian” brings to mind youthful exuberance, the peak human athletic form, and Percy Jackson. Olympians have Herculean bodies and get applauded for finishing in 9.58 seconds. It should capture the world, yet global viewership of the 2020 Olympic Games was the lowest in the past three decades.

The Olympics are too predictable. Like every year, eight athletes will line up at a start line before running fast for 100m. The winner runs slightly faster than the rest. An injection of vibrancy and electricity is needed; events that have been the same for millennia must change.

I’m not the only one calling for change. You may have seen the tweet about a Hunger Games-style draft for participants. Influencer and talented musician Rufus Rice recently proposed the ‘Hungover Olympics’ (self-explanatory). Meanwhile, the Enhanced Games are scheduled for 2025. This event will encourage doping, promising “the ultimate demonstration of what the human body is capable of.”

Younger generations are less interested in the Olympics. Efforts are being made to change this, including introducing new events, like breakdancing. I’d like to provide further solutions to this problem.

100-metre Sprint I recently turned twenty, but physically, I feel much older. Expecting a profound psychological shift into adult-level confidence, I instead found out I’m the same person; albeit with a slightly more dilapidated body. I worry GTA VI will arrive before my frontal lobe fully develops. Any exercise now requires an age of stretching, and getting out of bed the day after is a Sisyphean task. Once peaceful mornings have become a cacophony of cracking calcium.

Usain Bolt is retired, leaving behind that iconic 9.58 number and a ginormous hole in the sport. Little known fact: he inspired me to create the ‘Usain Bolt Special’, better known to others as ‘dissatisfaction’ and ‘frustration’. I think mine sounds best, but I digress. The point is that the 100-metre sprint would be much more entertaining if the athletes weren’t allowed to stretch. It would add the jeopardy the event so desperately craves.

Picture this: the starting gun fires, echoing around the stadium. But there is instant confusion as a second gunshot follows.

Someone’s Achilles has just snapped. Brutal. Halfway up the track, Noah Lyles has done his hammy.

Suddenly, it’s a two-horse race between an athlete who learned to run on his arms and an accountant who worked out that run-

ning at a pace of 4 minutes 50 seconds per kilometre would give him a fighting chance. Ten metres to go and they’re nose to gripper. Then, without warning, our tricep track star crouches down and sends himself flying over the finish line. The crowd erupts. 27.32 seconds. It's a new world record for this revitalised event. An enormously high bar is set for future cold sprinters.

Absolute limbs.

Swimming Humans aren’t made for water. We grew out of that phase 350 million years ago. Single-use submarines like the Titan and Titanic have since reminded us of that fact. But rising ocean levels may force us to revisit our aquatic roots. And this time will be different. We’ll be backed by the full force of science, technology and … the Seine River.

This is not so much an idea as it is a theory. Parisians have been forbidden to swim in the Seine since 1923. Successive governments have blamed pollution, but that is just a cover story for human history's most ambitious genetic engineering project yet. Dip your exposed foot into the Seine and it’ll emerge as a flipper. The 2024 Olympic swimming events, 102 years in the making, are merely a vessel for the introduction of humanity’s saving grace.

This is not to say that Lewis Clareburt smashing records with his newly acquired gills and dorsal fin won’t be awesome. I just know I’m flying straight to Paris when a nuke, after grazing Donald Trump’s ear, turns Antarctica into a microwave oven. Based on my Planet 4546B experiences, flippers and gills are fairly useful on ocean worlds.

Track Cycling No one wants to watch a bunch of cyclists riding around a velodrome. It's dull and repetitive. Each race is almost a mirror of the last.

Track cycling needs to change. Take the Keirin, a three-lap race between up to six competitors, for example. Like in many sporting events, science, technology and engineering are often as important as the athletes themselves. The British bike for Paris 2024 boasts of an aerodynamic design “inspired by fighter jets.”

But the Olympics should be more about athletes and less about engineers. This is why all competing track cyclists should have to race on Penny-farthings. If you’re not familiar, it’s the bike with the massive front wheel from the late-1800s. A Penny-farthing race would be the ultimate test of speed, endurance, balance, and self-respect. Go onto YouTube and search for "The Penny-farthing Bike Race”. It’s hard to explain, but it makes me feel the same way I do when I see a chicken running in shoes.

r: Olympic Edition Ratings would skyrocket if races were more like the Demolition Derby at Speedway meetings. Athletes would be given a $50 budget to buy a shitbox bike from Facebook Marketplace. The last one riding would be the winner. Imagine a whole lot of rusty old bikes and battered cyclists tangled up on a velodrome.

Limbs and spokes are no longer separate entities. It’s a contorted and perverse surrealist painting.

Weightlifting I think weightlifters are given way too much credit. I can’t believe they think that lifting a perfectly balanced, ‘heavy’ bar with a great grip and professional equipment is impressive. Seriously, get over yourselves.

Odds are that these so-called ‘weightlifters’ have never attempted to lift all the groceries out of Mum’s car while wearing her old pair of heels.

A truly challenging test for Olympic weightlifters would be carrying $500 worth of groceries, then $1000, $5000 and beyond until only one remains. The groceries would be in dodgy plastic supermarket bags of varying weights. Careful with the eggs, dear!

Diving I planned on unfairly criticising diving for being boring, but I’ve decided to come clean. That judgement is just a coping mechanism. My real criticism is that divers set unrealistic body standards that make arm-chair athletes like me feel bad. However, I do think there is real merit in making the Olympic Games an event for the people.

I’m not sure who’d be nominated to be on the receiving end of this. Our current environmental policy-makers, perhaps? That’s how it would’ve worked in ancient Rome, not that any javelin could pierce Paul Mescal’s pecs. But maybe this could be a lucrative opportunity for the body modification industry. If the javelins were hot enough, the wound would be instantly cauterised, creating a badass scar. This would be dependent on whether people are willing to accept the small but possible risk of losing a vital organ. I, for one, think that anything is possible with good Marketing and PR. Just think of Tide Pods, 2018s most popular candy.

On a serious note, you should watch the Olympics, even if it is only out of respect for The NZ team. Remember, they’ve been training for their soporific events most of their lives. Amazingly, they’ve even stayed awake.

Well, International Olympic Committee, you’re welcome. I expect payment in return for my role as an Olympic saviour. Cash is preferred.

And to you, the reader. Imagine a distant future: your children are captivated by your nostalgic musings about Penny-farthing races and swimmers with three tail fins. Do me a favour. Tell them about me. Once upon a time, there was a humble Debate contributor, on a brave quest for validation…

How does this apply to Olympic Diving? Enter the Manu. Loved by the masses and gaining traction on the planetary stage with the recent Z Manu World Champs. The fact that it was a ‘world championship’ in the same way as L&P is “world famous in New Zealand” is neither here nor there. I’m confident that competitive Manu popping would annihilate traditional diving’s viewership stats. People want to watch more than just skill. As an article on mygolfsky.com says, “It’s about rooting for people and personalities, finding a connection deeper than the game itself.” Modern problems require modern solutions.

Javelin Disclaimer: the following is not wholly my idea and is primarily to satisfy Thomas’s lust for blood and human sacrifice (I’ve kept the receipts, Mister Giblin). The javelin throw is an event in denial. It’s a domesticated spear but with the instincts of its predecessors suppressed. Forcing a javelin to fly through the air and never pierce flesh is the same as forcing a dog to be vegan. I’m talking to you, Lewis Hamilton.

Written By Luke Fisher (he/him) @lukefish7__ CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Indie Interviews:

an introduction to Debate’s new game journalism series Immersive gameplay. Thrilling action. Heartwarming stories. In this advanced technological age, a thriving, expansive gaming industry is available instantly at the end of our fingertips. Whether you’re seeking something scary, action-packed or a bit more peaceful - there’s definitely something out there for you.

In saying this, it can be easy to miss hidden gems that are tucked away behind the gaming giants we know and love. To support local gamemakers, and highlight the importance of indie developers helping drive the industry forward, Debate is launching a new series of articles amongst upcoming issues and web exclusives.

Keep an eye out for ‘Indie Interviews’ with local gamemakers, including independent, student and studio developers from across Aotearoa. Gain insight into the minds and processes of these talented game developers and designers, and even pick up a few tips or tricks too.

As a sneak peek of our pilot article with Auckland-based developer duo Shannon and Sam; here are my top picks from their label, Cookie Crayon , which are freely available to play on their itch: https://cookiecrayon.itch.io/.

Pikwip “Make your way to the summit. Will you go it alone, or with a friend?”

Pikwip steals the hearts of players with an incredible environment, amazing character design, and gentle music. The game was created in 72 hours as part of the ‘Mini Jam: Summit’, and received first place overall - alongside top placings in art and presentation. In this platformer, you must help two super cute characters reach the top of the mountain, but watch out character movements influence each other. You can help your teammate up, but one wrong step and you may end up dragging them right back down with you. The game jam also included the limitation "Only use WASD and the Arrow keys”, which makes Pikwip the perfect shared experience on a laptop. If you don’t have someone to play with, take on the extra challenge of controlling both characters at once! Pikwip was incredibly sweet, immersive, and colourful. I can’t wait for more.

Neon Knives “Two of you do not belong. Blend into the crowd, and take out the other. Trust no one.”

An amalgamation of bright colours and unique characters, Neon Knives is an exciting experience meant to be shared. The art direction is stunning, with vibrant, saturated colours that are both eye-catching and spunky. The visuals of Neon Knives are further attested to by a first place ranking in New Zealand-based game awards ‘The Pavs’ for ‘The Decorative Piece, Excellence in Visual

Art’, as well as an overall placing of second in the ‘Multiplayer Game Jam’. Beyond artistic prowess, the beat of the music adds to the ambience of the game, further aided by a rich, diverse range of maps in which to compete. This 1v1 cloak-and-dagger was immensely enjoyable, and I would thoroughly recommend giving it a try when you have a spare minute. You might find yourself more invested than you’d first thought!

Mingle “Search the crowd for your perfect match. Merge and repeat.”

Mingle is a short, simple, but super effective concept. Encompassing a range of differentiable characters, despite a minimal style, you must match all of the minglers with their counterparts until none remain. Mingle has a lovely atmosphere with catchy music that enhances the vibe perfectly. Listen to the chatter of the characters - cleverly incorporating letters from the title - and reach the wonderful closure the ending brings (with a twist!).

Cat or Ice Cream?

“The purr-fect challenge.”

One would expect themselves to be better at differentiating cats from ice cream, but apparently they should expect the unexpected. Cat or Ice Cream?, being the first game the Cookie Crayon duo created, is very dynamic, with some hinting questions to provide an extra challenge. The illustrations of each cat (or ice cream) are delightful, with a consistent style across the board. Although my favourite was the ‘Ice Cream Tragedy’ - what was more tragic was the fact that I do not, in fact, know my cats from ice cream.

Quiet Space “Alone and isolated, floating through the quiet of space. Until the alert.”

A gentle, ethereal game travelling through the depths of space as you follow the signal - life signs detected. Honestly, this was a title I did not hold expectations for, but thoroughly enjoyed. The music was calming, building the experience and encouraging the player to take their time. The silhouettes were interesting, but resulted in a few confusing pathways, whilst the sensitive controls added to the challenge. The ending was very well presented, and provided great closure to the game - enhanced further by the change in music. Despite your initial thoughts, this game will surprise you!

Written By Trinity Thompson (she/her) CONTRIBUTING WRITER

What your DISCLAIMER: This is a lighthearted analysis and by no means a judgement of anyone’s true character! Please do not sue me (Even though we’re in Aoteroa and you can’t … but still).

Harvey: Lucky first, is Harvey. Honestly, I can’t slander this man too much as I am guilty of always choosing him on each of my saves. What can I say? Financial stability is attractive - especially paired with a mean stache.

If you pick Harvey, you have studied psychology or read one too many self-help books (such as Attached by Dr Amir) and realised that a secure relationship type is what you look for in life, or if not, you crave reliability.

Furthermore, you most likely have a thing for nerdy guys (which I’m all here for), and since he’s a doctor and a model plane addict, it all checks out! Looking back on your dating history, you have probably dated one too many guys who have made you realise you prefer a sweet and genuine guy over a petty one (despite Harvey not giving you free healthcare after you marry…). It’s important for you to feel safe and protected in life and there may potentially be some daddy issues lingering in the background.

Abigail: Ah, the goth girl of a financial man’s dreams, Miss Abigail! With her love for video games and great interest in the macabre (definitely search that up), she is great for any player who wants a gamer girl in their life. You most likely enjoy video games, and for some reason in particular, I’m getting CSGO vibes. Just something about Abigail and the people who pick her scream, “I love playing a shooting game where I get trolled endlessly throughout the night!”

Everyone wants a goth girl like Abigail until they wake up the next morning to find Lunar Tides purple dye has stained their pillowcase (bedding is kinda pricey nowadays!), and let me tell you, that shit does not wash out.

Alex: If you pick this man as a guy, you definitely are recreating the high school bully-to-lover arc, which makes me concerned for you. Honestly, I’m convinced he was made as queer bait and reminds me too much of Dave Karofsky from Glee, from the jock persona to the bullying.

If you pick him and you’re a girl, the majority of your life is spent playing sports and are looking for a gym partner.

In a nutshell, Alex is for those who believe people are more than their first impression.

Elliot: If Elliot is your choice, there is no doubt you wrote fanfiction in intermediate to high school. What kind of fanfiction, you ask? Probably the freaky kind that has to be moderated on AO3, or maybe even Wattpad. I sense

Sp

that you take a degree in Journalism or English and probably contribute to the Debate Magazine (as you should).

You drink your coffee black and read Donna Tart’s The Secret History on the porch while smoking a menthol and labelling that as a ‘Dark Academia’ aesthetic (I’ve been there, help is on its way).

Emily: Anyone who picks Emily screams of spirituality and essential oils, and for some reason in particular, Natio skincare. You have an optimistic nature and an overly positive person who finds peace within greenery (all sorts of greens, if you catch my drift). It’s clear you’ve dabbled in a bit of witchcraft and have tried making a soul tie with someonefrom your past, or even listened to subliminals - *sigh*.

Anyone who picks Emily automatically has a crystal collection and has recently or is willing to sign up to a yoga class. If you happen to be a man who picks dear Emily, you’re likely a finance student looking for a ‘Manic Pixie Dream Girl’ to spice up your life… Good luck.

Haley: Honestly, if you pick Haley and you’re a guy, you 100% have a humiliation kink. Genuinely no doubt about it.

As you make your way to Bar 101 while listening to Ken Carson, Syndey Sweeney comes to mind once again your ideal type. Or perhaps you’re just a soft-spoken guy who likes to be challenged by his partner…either or!

If you’re a girl who chooses Haley as your spouse, you definitely are recreating the ideal lesbian crush. Specifically the mean hot girl-to-wife transition that is craved and a bit concerning.

Since having watched Yellow Jackets, edits with Shauna and Jackie have dominated your social media feed. It doesn’t help that you like, favourite and send them to your friends every time until they’ve told you to stop.

Leah: The ‘cottage-core’ aesthetic is held very close to your heart if this cute artist is your pick. Minecraft is your go-to game and you’ll often explore biomes purely to gather materials to decorate your house. Don’t lie to me - I know at some point you’ve made a lily pad filled pond next to your house in-game, with maybe a squid if you’re freaky like that.

Guys who pick Leah just want to be with someone who can dominate them with a hammer and has the potential to break them in half, you lil weirdo.

Maru: WOMEN IN STEM! LETS GOOO! According to my very real statistics, I’d gather you major

pouse Says About You in Computer Sciences or Engineering and enjoy obotics.

Innocent and looking for true, genuine love, the only thing that’s really stopping you are the curfews from your strict overprotective parents. The mystery of what’s in this quirky inventor’s basement has made you so curious you’re willing to cough up diamonds to find out. For someone so kind, she is one particular and expensive lady to buy for, so you better budget!

(Editor’s bonus addition) Krobus: While unfortunately, you cannot marry this perfect being, let us now take this moment to appreciate dear Krobus in all its glory.

The sewer will always be my second home if you are there. Xox -Stella, Visual Arts Editor Again, just a reminder that this is all banter and not to come to my house with a pitchfork like in Shrek, OKAY?

Penny: With Penny I’d say the similar thing with Harvey; you crave stability and kindness from your spouse. However, you find yourself to be a rescuer in situations and try to help others in need, especially those who deserve it. Having seen Penny’s living situation with her problematic mum in the trailer, you said right then and there: “I can save her.” Which, in this case, you actually can! And no, you can’t save everyone, but Penny is the exception in this case.

Sam: Yeah, no. It’s clear you have been traumatised by people who have had to be taught how to grow up much too far into adulthood, and that definitely has taken its toll.

You have a preference for the skater type and think they’re super cool before needing to learn the hard way that they can be described in two words: 1. Emotionally, 2. Unavailable. The desire to become a groupie and get with someone from a cool rock band is strong, and with absolutely no connection you probably frequent the Ding Dong lounge often. Also, I gotta mention - how much hair gel can one man own?

Sebastian: While you do value your alone time, you wouldn’t mind having a special someone there with you. The ‘bad-boy’ trope is something you often fall for, so the combination of Sebastian’s 2010s emo hair and motorcycle had you falling instantly. You are careful with who you let into your life and tend to isolate yourself, but besides that, you’re a kind-hearted person who strongly values deep connections. It’s undeniable that you had a My Chemical Romance or Twenty-One Pilots phase, or at the very least a questionable Tumblr account where pictures of ‘smoking for the aesthetic’ were a frequent reblog.

I sense some frog vibes off of Sebastian so you most likely have a folder of frog pictures in your phone!

Shane: NO. Just no. You cannot change him. Repeat after me: YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM! So stop trying. The chickens are cute though…

Written By Dana Dudova (she/her) @dayna.banana CONTRIBUTING WRITER Illustrations By Neena Contreras (she/her) CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATOR