Debate Issue 18, 2010

issue 18 2010 i

The very brief history of musicals

issue 18 AUG 2010

3d film debate

sports wrap-up

behind the scenes of roller derby

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on the cover Photography

by Melissa Low

editor Samantha McQueen samantha.mcqueen@aut.ac.nz

printer PMP Print Ltd.

designer Nonavee Dale nonavee.dale@aut.ac.nz

all rights reserved This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT AT AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY INCORPORATED (“AuSM”).

Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly. Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AuSM.

sub editor Jared Van Huenen contributors Mike Atkins | Jo Barker | Alicia Crocket | Selena La Fleur | Vinny Francesco | Tenani French | In Unison | Katie Montgomerie | Scott Moyes | Soo Park | Heather Rutherford | Salient | Satellite | Catherine Selfe | Mystery Shopper | Tamsyn Solomon | Shehzad Yusuf Belim advertising contact Kate Campbell kate.campbell@aut.ac.nz publisher AuSM – Auckland Student Movement @ AUT (Inc.)

disclaimer Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, PMP Print or its subsidiaries.

DEBATE IS A MEMBER OF:

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AuSM Gig Guide Editorial Letters Letters Con’t/Wordfind Creative Corner News Sport Clubs Special 3D Debate How To / Recipe Over the Hype Swiss Cheese Taking My Place in the World Musicals Roller Derby Girls Music Token Listicle Quiz / Retail Review Columns Agony Aunt / Website of the Week Suggestions / Horoscopes Fashion What Are You Wearing Reviews Spot the Difference Micro-celebs Northern Tertiary Challenge Photos

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City Campus Phone 366 4550 Fax 366 4570 Email aut.city@ubsbooks.co.nz

Akoranga Campus Phone 489 6105 Fax 489 7453 Email aut.akoranga@ubsbooks.co.nz 3

Mon 16 August Milo Monday City Campus from 730am Free Feed Manukau 12pm Social Dodgeball Manukau Campus 12-2pm Tues 17 August Human Rights in NZ debate Conference Centre (WA224) 12pm Entry by donation for Amnesty International Free Feed North Shore Campus 12pm Social Basketball game Manukau Campus 2-4pm Pub Quiz Vesbar 6pm Wed 18 August Free Zumba Class

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City Campus WC202 530-630pm AUT Football Club practice Auckland Domain 4pm Thur 19 August Boxfit Classes (free for all) City Campus WC202 745-845am Free Feed City Campus 12pm Free Zumba Class City Campus WC202 12-1pm Social Touch Manukau Campus 2-4pm North Harbour vs. Otago Tickets just $5 from AuSM offices North Harbour Stadium Fri 20 August Thank God it’s Friday DJ and drink specials Vesbar 530pm

Coming up…

Arm Wrestling Competition 24 August North Shore Campus 26 August City Campus 2 September Finals Kick Ass Heroes and Villains Party Vesbar AuSM Lodge Snow Trip Organised by Dorly House August 28-29 www.thedorlyhouse.com Lynfields Strongest Man 2010 AUT Strong August 28 from 10am The Byte Sized Technology Event 10-11 September www.creativetech.net.nz Post Grad Symposium Sponsored by AuSM September

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t’s hard to come up with an editorial when you don’t have a theme to work with.

I spent more than an hour staring at a page of opening sentences, while my finger got very friendly with my backspace key on my computer. Or should I say my ‘backspac’ key – the ‘e’ has been massaged off by my smothering finger.

I had ambitions to write about student revelations of being independent, when in reality most students are dependent on weekly Studylink payments, their parents, or from “the man” who writes out their dismal pay check every week. It would have been really deep and insightful, but who wants to read something meaningful and depressing when they’re nursing a headache – a gift from the weekend – and mindlessly jotting down information that will be forgotten as soon as the pen leaves the page.

So deep and meaningful is out, but what about funny? Everyone needs a few chuckles, especially at the beginning of the week. I tried anecdotes about living in Auckland, but instead of being hilarious, they escalated into full scale rants. So anecdotes were crossed off my list and my fingers started frantically typing down jokes. Everyone likes jokes, right?

Especially on a Monday morning, when the chuckles are at an all week low. So I’m jotting down jokes, all the while chortling at just how clever and witty I am before realising my definition of funny and your definition of funny is probably very different.

“Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” “You Know.” “You Know Who?” “Yes, haha! AVADA KEDAVRA!” Did you laugh? Out loud? How about fall out of your chair laughing? Yes, this is the state of humour. And yes, I am 21, thanks for asking.

Oh look, there goes the ‘c’ from my ‘backspace’ key. Now my finger is getting intimate with a backspa.

If only this editorial was a blog on the internet; then I could link you to “Dora in Inception”, the latest craze to hit YouTube, or to various internet memes which I discover each week. This whole page would just be a list of links which would further cement just how (un)funny I am. But alas, this magazine is not the internet (although you can find it on there) and my ‘backspa’ key still hasn’t had a break.

I guess I have no choice but to enlighten you with cheery number facts which will hopefully bring a smile to your day. If you are reading this on a Monday, revel in the fact that there are only 16 days left until we say sayonara to winter for another year. This means you can start planning what you’re going to tackle during the annual spring cleaning weekend, which in reality will only last a few hours before you uncover a lost item/get bored/fall asleep. Another cheery fact; in less than 12 weeks, or 81 days if you’re counting from Monday, you will be on holiday. And that’s including the two week break which is coming up in 19 days time. That means summer is 100 days away and Santa will break and enter into your home in 125 days time. Can you taste the epicness?

Oh, would you look at that? I’ve managed to write an editorial. My ‘back’ key just breathed a sigh of relief.

RECEPTION City Campus Level 2, WC Building 921 9805 8am-5 pm Mon-Thurs 8am-3.30pm Fri North Shore Campus Level 2, AS Building 921 9949 8.30am-3pm Mon-Fri Manukau Campus MB107 921 9999 ext 6672 9am-3:30pm Mon-Thurs MANAGEMENT Sue Higgins General Manager 921 9999 ext 5111 sue.higgins@aut.ac.nz REPRESENTATION Veronica Ng Lam AuSM Student President 921 9999 ext 8571 vnglam@aut.ac.nz ADVOCACY Nick Buckby Liaison Manager 921 9999 ext 8379 nick.buckby@aut.ac.nz MARKETING Rebecca Williams Marketing Manager 921 9999 ext 8909 rebecca.williams@aut.ac.nz EVENTS Barry Smith Events Team Leader 921 9999 ext 8931 barry.smith@aut.ac.nz MEDIA Samantha McQueen Publications Co-ordinator 921 9999 ext 8774 samantha.mcqueen@aut.ac.nz SPORTS Melita Martorana Sports Team Leader 921 9999 ext 7259 melita.martorana@aut.ac.nz VESBAR Zane Chase Vesbar Manager 921 9999 ext 8378 zane.chase@aut.ac.nz

For a full list of contact details plus profiles of AuSM staff and student executive visit: www.ausm.org.nz issue 18 AUG 2010

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Dear Eager Learning Beavers of AUT, while I appreciate, and admire, your enthusiasm towards your studies, it has come to my attention that getting into lecture theatres is becoming a bit of a hassle. It seems that for every single lecture I go to, people are not allowing time for everyone to exit the room before they try to enter, this results in massive congestion and an inability to quickly exit the building. I think it is high time that everyone just take a big step back and pause for a moment before attempting to enter your next class. Maybe this pause will allow everyone already IN the lecture theatre time to exit?

Just take a moment everyone.

Love, a fellow eager beaver.

Response to last week’s letter about the b.line services: Hi Sam, We are sorry Busy Busser is experiencing frustrations on the new b.line service.

We have run some capacity reports for this week so far and using some live examples we can see there are a few buses at am peak (7am-9am) that are full but there is capacity available either side of the full bus so the wait for the customer shouldn’t be more than a couple of minutes at this time. A half hour wait at this time shouldn’t be experienced.

At the other end of the day where your writer has also experienced difficulty we are reviewing capacity with our operator NZ Bus. We appreciate feedback from customers about our services.

Yours sincerely, Sharon Hunter Communications Manager, ARTA

“How come nobody’s ever tried to be a superhero?”

When Dave Lizewski, an ordinary New York teenager, dons a green and yellow internet-bought wetsuit to become the no- nonsense vigilante Kick-Ass, he soon finds an answer to his own question: because it hurts.

Kick-Ass is available on Blu-ray & DVD from 18 August.

Win a copy of KICK-ASS on DVD.

To enter email debate@aut.ac.nz with “Kick-Ass” in the subject line.

Competition closes August 18.

Don’t miss the Kick-Ass Heroes & Villains Party at Vesbar on August 26!

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Hej Debate!

I rather enjoyed the 90s edition! You guys are coming up with real good themes. Anyway I am writing as I got a little rucked up over a comment in your editorial Sam, “just like seeing a kid on a leash makes me recoil in horror.” I understand they do look a little harsh but for kids like me they were life savers. I was one of those children who when out and about had to run everywhere, particularly on to roads. If mum hadn’t of used one on me I could quite possibly be dead. There are also some new designs now that are just parent’s wrist to child’s wrist. Plus they are so much more easier than always trying to get your kid to sit in a pram. So although they appear slightly like treating your child like a pet it’s better to have an alive restrained pet than no pet at all.

Anyway rant over! Keep up the good work :) Lucy Dear Hotmail, I would very much appreciate it if you could stop putting my eBay Seller Newsletters to the Junk Mail folder, after adding them to my safe senders list and clicking “This is Not Junk” for two years.

Thank you.

Foodie Dragon

More letters on page 8!

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issue 18 AUG 2010

©2010 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. Microsoft, Microsoft Office, Excel, PowerPoint, OneNote, Outlook and Access are registered trademarks of the Microsoft group of companies.

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Dear Debate I, like many other people of today’s world, am a regular checker of my facebook page. Since I’m not Catholic I don’t have the privilege of going to confession.

If I was, I would be there every week like clock work, I would imagine. You see, I only joined facebook earlier this year, and already the symptoms are on the rise. It is quite an undisreputable, (a word I made up, it sounds smart and that’s all you need to know), thing. I have become an ADDICT!! I say it, (or type it in caps, for added dramatic effect), aloud. It is not a good thing. I study for 10 minutes, then I feel like I should reward myself with some facebook time of lets say, 20 min :( I know there are others out there who are in the same rut. That’s right; I called it a “rut”. And it’s one that has caught many of us in it’s trap, taking our A’s and B’s and giving us C’s and dare I say it, D’s.

So instead of become a Catholic and share my sins of the week, I will talk, (in my head of course, I’m not crazy :S), to the Debate magazine, and the words of wisdom will peer out from the pages, not saying that Debate is a substitution for Catholicism.

There was no point in this rant, apart from the fact that I needed to let it out, thanks for reading, (or skimming over, or maybe just completely ignoring), but it really helped to finally admit it, so thanks.

Yours truly A.F.M.A. (Avid Facebook Member Anonymous)

Dear Debate, looking through debate (issue 16) I was particularly excited about reading the “are Macs really better than PCS? Being the Apple savvy I am, I thought that Vinny did a poor job at proving that yes, MACs are really better than PCs! As I got halfway to her side of the argument I felt as if she didnt exactly know what MACs were all about. Now I am not being a MAC snob here but anyone can google some stuff and put it in an article. It really lacked the passion for MACs. The ‘no’ argument is not much of a concern to me cos even though it was fun to read its gonna take a lot more to diminish my love for Apple and MAC products.

Yes I 1st gen ipad isnt exactly the most productive item (waiting for the next generation to cme out, it will have more establishments in it eg. camera!!) but there are other products which are magnificent convenience!!

But its bout the buying at the right time and buying the right product!

I will be never ever live without my iphone or my mac!! Its an addiction!!

Thanks Apple lover

Dear Debate, Ive been meaning to write to your letters colomn ever since the beginning of this year, but forgotten to get around to it. Anywho I am here finally. Where to start? Ive been a dedicated Debate reader since I started at AUT 2 years ago. I would always jump straight into former editor Ryan Boyd’s editor letter, now he was really funny. Since he’s left Debate I find the magazine half interesting, to a point where I question myself why do I bother getting one?

I find Sam’s writings pretty awesome but her editor letter every weekend - a big thumbs down. Now im not blaming anyone, im just disappointed that I don’t get a good read/ laugh as a I usually did whilst Ryan ran the show. I find most of the articles have a “palagi” humour. Too much on the safe side maybe?

I also check the micro celebs each week, and hardly ever see an islander on it, and because alot of the pictures I see are taken at the quad, are you telling me you don’t see any of those islanders and thought to enter 1 into micro celebs??

You can’t say they are shy because islanders love that kind of attention. Thats all for now.

2CZ37 Dear debate team Just like to first say thank you for making the recipe page coloured and having more recipes it’s awesome and looks so much more appetising now.

To Selena I totally agree with your top 10 people on the bus. I have personally encountered all of them and am fed up of getting knocked in the head with a bag every time the bus stops. More on the slow fare payer I live in an area filled with old people and when that clock hits 9am they are lining the streets waiting to get on with their gold cards tucked away somewhere and they take forever to sit down not because they are slow but because they can’t make up their mind where to seat and some bus drivers even wait which is ridiculous cause we could be there all day waiting for these elders!

Loved the article it made my Monday morning J Helz

Hey, I would like to mention that the wordfind is awsome.I dig puzzels and shit so keep them coming.I suggest you put more activities to make the mag more intresting rather than reading stuff.

The horoscopes are pretty darn funny.Good job!

-Madona.

Dear debate, At the start of this year, I didnt exactly enjoying reading everything in the mag. But I must say whatta pleasure t was reading this weeks debate (issue17).

From start to end- LOVED IT!! cheers Dear debate, This is addressed to the two wannabe tough guys that roam around WT level 1. One of them looks EXACTLY like Kurt Angle and the other one looks like a Spartan Warrior. I see them cutting through the lift lines every morning when I have a class. I can see everyone gets annoyed but no one wants to speak up. Next time I see you both, I will make sure you wait in line like the rest of us.

From, Schnarnold

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BLACKWIDOW HARRYPOTTER HULK KICKASS SCOTTPILGRIM

GREENLANTERN HAWKEYE IRONMAN OPTIMUSPRIME THOR

artwork by Soo Park

Shehzad Yusuf Belim iphone Drawing issue 18 AUG 2010

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Things got personal when Unitec hosted the first debate attended by all Super City mayoral candidates.

The seven candidates had a heated discussion during the third 90-minute live debate in Unitec’s Forum For The Future series earlier this month.

The candidates included North Shore Mayor Andrew Williams, anti-smacking protestor Colin Craig, former Waitakere City councillor and comedian Ewen Gilmour*, Auckland City Mayor John Banks, Manukau City Mayor Len Brown, water campaigner and actor Penny Bright and theatre director Simon Prast.

The three-evening series entitled “Super City – Win or Lose?” attracted some of the country’s top local government experts as panellists.

The panellists had taken the unique opportunity to inform both the studio and online audience about the pros and cons of having the Super City.

Unitec’s department of management and marketing utilised social media to liven up its debate and open the discussion to the wider Auckland community.

Live “tweets” from the 90-minute panel style debates allowed members of the public to ask

The Marlborough District Council declined an application for a liquor license made by Undie 500 organisers for their event in the Marlborough town of Seddon just over a week ago.

Organisers Canterbury University’s Engineering Society (Ensoc) will not be allowed to sell alcohol at the Undie 500 event, which was set to be held in Seddon after landowners Trish and Chris Redwood agreed to host the event on their property.

The Redwoods offered their property after Ensoc were told they were no longer welcome in Dunedin.

A hearing was held early this month to determine whether Ensoc were eligible to serve alcohol on the Seddon property.

Marlborough District councillor Andrew Barker argued that the Marlborough District Council had made the decision out of an emotional response rather than on the facts.

The reasoning behind the rejection is yet to be released.

The police have been firm opponents to the Undie 500 tradition and made a submission against the organisers’ application for a liquor license.

Senior Sergeant Ciaran Sloan of Blenheim says that the event is focused purely on alcohol consumption.

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panellists questions via the social networking site Twitter.

The major topic of the final debate was the prospect of Auckland’s water services being contracted out to private companies.

The prospect was rejected by the two heavyweight Super City mayoral contenders, John Banks and Len Brown.

Both said they were committed to keeping Auckland’s $5 billion worth of water assets in public ownership under the Super City.

Activist Penny Bright shook her head through many of the other candidates’ speeches and called for Aucklanders to rise up and stop the “corrupt takeover” of the city’s assets.

Business journalist, commentator and adjunct professor at Unitec’s department of management and marketing, Rod Oram, facilitated the debates.

The Super City will be the largest council in Australasia, and comes into place on November 1.

Videos from all three debates are available online.

The southbound carriageway of SH1 in the vicinity of the Newmarket viaduct will be closed on September 4-5 so that the new bridge can open on Monday, September 6.

Motorists are urged to avoid driving anywhere in Auckland during this weekend unless absolutely necessary.

High delays are expected in the city, Newmarket, Mt Eden, Greenlane, Epsom and Remuera, and possible delays in the surrounding suburbs.

Those travelling from the city to the airport are being told to travel along the Western motorway until SH20, or to go the back way through Mission Bay, St Johns and Mt Wellington.

Maps of the affected areas and alternative routes can be found on www.facebook.com/ switchmyroute?v=app_7146470109.

The closure and opening of the new bridge will mean the fourth southbound lane from the city to Greenlane can be opened by early 2011, which will ease congestions on the motorway during peak hour traffic.

*Please note Ewen Gilmour has since pulled out of the campaign race due to family commitments.

“It doesn’t contribute anything to the province and would have been a cost to the province through emergency services and health services.”

Ensoc President Michael Cook says Ensoc were committed to successfully hosting an official Undie 500 this year but the liquor license decision will mean they will need to start over again.

“Going somewhere else is an option; we just have to reassess and see what we can do.”

Cook also remained coy on the possibility of making the event BYO alcohol.

“If we decided to still have a BYO, the cops could still shut us down.”

Victoria University student and 2009 Undie 500 attendee Adam Clark says the event was important for maintaining a fun and eventful image of student life.

“They shut down Gardies in Dunedin, now they want to shut down everything else that is fun to do whilst going through the hardships of student life.”

According to the Marlborough District Council website, the council maintains the power to ban liquor for one-off events. “[The] council can use this power generally, to create on-going liquor bans in public places, or to ban liquor for one-off special events or occasions in public places.”

Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce has confirmed details of performance linked funding.

The new model will see tertiary education providers receive a proportion of their funding based on performance.

From 2012 five per cent of providers’ funding will based on their performance against indicators from the previous year.

The indicators include course completion, qualification completion, progression to higher study and the number of students retained in study.

Joyce says this approach will provide financial incentives for providers to continually work to improve the educational performance of their students.

“Initially, performance linked funding is about targeting the outliers - those institutions that stand out as poor performers in certain areas.”

“Over time, I expect to see the performance of the entire sector improve as a result of this model. Providers will know upfront what their targets are and the Tertiary Education Commission will work with them to improve performance,” he says.

Tertiary Education Union (TEU) national president Dr Tom Ryan says the government needs to approach the initiative carefully.

He says the government needs to ensure it improves the performance of institutions “rather than shutting out students who are less likely to succeed”.

“There is a danger that institutions will seek to lift their funding by excluding students they think are less likely to succeed, or that pressure will be put on teachers who have tough academic standards,” says Ryan.

The Tertiary Education Commission will be discussing details of the model with tertiary providers this month.

by Jared

Because I don’t have a concrete idea to write

a sports article about, I’ve decided that I’m going to write an article about all of the sports. Well, not sailing. Or netball. Let’s just see how we go. Firstly, did you know that cardboard tube fighting was a sport? You do now. The CTFL (Cardboard Tube Fighting League).

You basically just duel until one persons tube breaks. Winner takes the tubes, and the respect.

Also, did you know that the All Blacks have pretty much won the Tri-Nations already? That’s pretty good. The most exciting thing in rugby, however, is definitely the achievements of Counties-Manukau in the ITM Cup. Because of the whole print-date, release-date scenario, I have to write this before the weekend, so the CountiesSouthland Ranfurly shield game has already happened. Despite that, I’m guessing that it was a pretty awesome game that Counties won.

I am crossing my fingers now that Tana scored a try in the dying minutes to win the shield for the first time in Counties history. I don’t even like rugby, and I don’t live in Counties, but that shit would be awesome.

Second on the agenda is the A-League. Now that people in New Zealand like football (though it will probably only last a month), the Wellington Phoenix are most definitely in the public eye. Despite the fact that Wellington is a heap, I wish I lived there just so I could go to the games. After our first game last Friday (no idea how that went), the public will either be praising the amazing success of our football culture, or proclaiming “oh well, looks like we’re still shit”, even though we made the preliminary final last year. Despite all the speculation, one thing’s for sure: Tony Lochhead will still suck.

Holy crap we beat India in a game of cricket! Not only did we beat them, we smashed them with some top-class bowling which left them all out for 88, the fifth lowest total for an Indian ODI side.

The tri-nations tournament that we’re in with Sri Lanka continues this week, and it wouldn’t it be something special if our cricketers could actually win a tournament for once? I won’t hold my breath.

With Dan Vettori off on paternity leave, Ross Taylor seems to enjoy captaining the lads scoring 95 in a 190 run partnership with pig-faced Scott Styris. Maybe if we win another game they’ll actually put it on the news! Doubt it.

issue 18 AUG 2010

Say what you will about his personal life, Tiger Woods has definitely given the game of golf a lot more hype over the last year.

Unfortunately, the excitement he used to conjure up with his amazing golf has been superseded by his sexual exploits and, more recently, the fact that his golf game has turned to absolute crap. Two weeks ago he shot 18 over par over 72 holes, the worst score he’s ever shot, even as an amateur. Despite that, golf experts are still talking about Tiger making the Ryder Cup team, which is mind-boggling considering two factors: Firstly, he keeps hitting the ball in the water (not ideal). Secondly, he has a super-gay porno style goatee (definitely not ideal). Can the man do nothing right?

For some reason I keep hearing about Sonny Bill-Williams as though he’s actually done something besides move back to New Zealand. According to my own statistics, like a thousand people do that a day and they don’t make the news. The saddest thing about the whole Sonny Bill scenario is that, because of the languishing state of rugby support in this country, he’ll probably make it into the All Blacks just because more people will watch it if he does. For the timebeing, he can play as much Canterbury club rugby as he wants, while enjoying crowds 50 times bigger than the actual Canterbury team gets (more made up statistics).

The premier league is beginning! The majority of you will not be as excited as I am, and that’s because you are wrong and I am right.

About what? I don’t know. All I know is that Chelsea are going to win it again and I can’t wait. Most importantly, Blackpool is in the big show this year, and their piece of shit stadium is hilarious because it only seats 12,000 people and one side of it is a carpark. The pretty boys from Man United are gonna have a heart attack when they see that. Also, they’re going to lose all their games because they’re not very good.

The end.

P.S. does anyone play any weird sports that they want talked about? I like a change now and then, as long as it isn’t Quidditch. Email debate@aut.ac.nz

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It has been a big year for AuSM Clubs. Here’s a sneak peak at everything that’s been going on and the stuff that’s coming up.

Get involved!

The DORLY House

North Shore-based club The Dorly House arranged the first ever abseil off AB Block and quickly followed it with their biggest ever CampA-Thon in the middle of North Shore campus. Campers spent four days and three nights celebrating the outdoors, meeting new people, enjoying free climbing, camp fires, presentations, long boarding and water slides. More pics on the AuSM website.

Coming up is the AuSM Lodge Snow Trip August 28 and 29. Contact Mat on (09) 419-6675 or visit www.thedorlyhouse.com for info.

AISEC

What will you be doing this summer? How about travelling and working abroad, making international friends, experiencing new cultures and developing your CV? AIESEC O.E. is now offering a great opportunity to work abroad in one of the 8 countries: Ukraine, Poland, Romania, Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia, China and Taiwan this summer!

Visit www.aiesec.org.nz for more details and apply now. Applications close August 19.

AIESEC is the world’s largest student-run, not-for-profit organisation that is established in 1700 universities in 110 countries. They provide leadership opportunities and deliver exchange experiences to tertiary students and recent graduates.

Milo Monday is every second Monday in the city campus quad (outside the library) from 7.30am. Join them as they serve and give back to their campus and hope to have conversations with people about Jesus.

AUTCF will be heading up to Opononi during the first week of our mid-semester break for the AUTCF retreat. They will be spending time doing some activities, relaxing and unwinding. They will also be digging into a Book from the Bible.

There will be a Student Leadership Conference during November in Paraparaumu, where other Christian Fellowship groups around New Zealand will gather. It helps to give them some knowledge, tools and an overview about the Bible. It also equips them with the skills to lead studies and teaches them how Jesus is relevant in the workplace, university and life.

AUT Christian Fellowship - Loving God, Following Jesus, Living it out at AUT! Drop us an e-mail - autchristians@gmail.com or text - Michael 021 124 6378. Check out our Facebook page - “AUT Christian Fellowship”!

Campus Christian Movement Coming up this semester: Sports Day at Auckland Domain September 4 and healing service September 5.

Contact Ivan for more information on

021 158 4875.

OMANI CLUB The Omani Club organised an exhibition to showcase Oman on July 23. The exhibition attracted VIPs from NZ travel media, tourism organisations and the travel industry.

AUT Combined Martial Arts Club

The AUT Combined Martial Arts Club offers weekly training in self-defence for all levels of competency and fitness. Contact Minja on minche@xtra.co.nz for more information.

AUT Strength Sports

Don’t miss Lynfields Strongest Man 2010 competition on August 28.

Free competition entry and free entry for spectators. Events include: Log lift, tyre-flip, one-arm dumbbell clean and press, truck pull.

The event will be held at Lynfield Recreation Centre, 16-18 Griffin Park Road from 10.30am.

AUT Football Club

Join the club for free practice at the Auckland Domain, every Wednesday from 4pm. Guys and girls welcome. Email AUTfootball@gmail.com for more info.

AUT Christian Fellowship

There is plenty happening this semester.

Bible studies every Wednesday and Thursday from 4pm in WT1011. They are digging into the book of Hosea this semester. Join them as they observe and try to tackle what the passage/book is saying.

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AUT Samoan Students Association

The objective of this club is to reach out to university students from every culture and ethnicity; equip students to become more effective leaders using biblical and indigenous principles to activate students in their talents and abilities to impact the university.

In 2009, AUTSSA hosted the So’otaga (national conference) in Auckland where they won the sports trophy, the coveted cultural trophy and the overall winner’s trophy. They defended their titles at the same conference hosted by Canterbury University in Christchurch this year.

They fundraised through socials, carwashes, sausage sizzles, scratch & help, traditional dances and club member donations to cover our flights, registration fees, uniforms, venue hireage and food.

The association has grown rapidly (now 200 people) thanks to the enthusiasm and commitment from members. They meet twice a week in WC202. They are an active club involved in clubs day, dance performances, the launch of Samoa’s Head of State’s book here at AUT (2009) and they are heavily involved in student consultation. They are committed to ensuring their university, along with AuSM, gains a good reputation through our journey this year.

Join the club

AuSM is committed to providing a range of clubs on campus so that all students have the opportunity to meet new people, expand their interests and enjoy life outside of lectures.

For more on AuSM clubs or information on starting your own visit: www.

ausm.org.nz/get-involved.

Already club hopping?

Thanks to all the clubs who submitted news, photos and updates for debate and the website. Keep us posted on what you’re up to so we can help you tell the world about it. Email everything and anything to rebecca.williams@aut.ac.nz or hit us up on Facebook (ausm1).

by Catherine Selfe

There is a constant search

for the latest thing to add to films. Movie makers are always looking for the next way to enhance the viewers experience or take us that bit closer to reality. Watching films in 3D however, does not enhance the depth of the viewing experience.

Although 3D has now been around for some years, it is only now beginning to soar in popularity. Movie makers are using this pinnacle in status to their advantage. This year’s remake of Clash of the Titans was originally intended to be viewed in 2D only but due to the level of success from 3D films at the time the third dimension option was also made available.

Also now available are 3D TVs so the mediocre experience can continue in your own home. All that this proves is how our society has an obsession with new technologies and experiences. Viewers who opt for 3D are not necessarily marvelling at the technology, rather at the extent that human intelligence has reached.

3D is very much an adult experience. Children are not fussed with the technicality of it all but of the story they are watching. I used to look after two young girls both under the age of five and it was the three-year-old who has best demonstrated to me the true worth of 3D. On a trip to the cinema to see Ice Age 3: The Dawn of the Dinosaurs in 3D both girls were aware that they needed to wear the glasses for the film’s duration. However, 20 minutes into the film I looked over to the three-year-old to see she had removed the glasses but was still extremely absorbed in the film. The now scratchy images were not a turn off to the child who was entranced by the story and characters.

This is where the true quality in films lies; with the characters, story and setting and the way in which they all develop. All other elements are just an added bonus, like the toy in a Happy Meal. A 3D film with a terrible story will never be able to be salvaged on its ‘party trick’ merit alone. The best way of illustrating this is with the widely popular 2001 film, Shrek. This film demonstrated a use of amusing characters, story and a large amount of wit. However two more films and an added dimension later we arrive at the fourth and final movie, Shrek Forever After. The presence of 3D in this film could not compensate for its lack of a solid story.

We need to ask ourselves, what is 3D really bringing to my viewing experience? For many, a twinging headache is included in the ticket price and the concept that objects should appear as if coming towards me is far from a fully fledged reality. Movements in the ways of ducks, dives, and swerves are non-existent and a shoulder shrug is the largest reaction I am likely to give.

If anything 3D has taken reality a step further away from viewers.

Developments in CGI (computer generated images) seem to take a backseat when 3D is present. Earlier this year I watched the fantasy flick Alice in Wonderland in 3D and I marvelled at the completely unrealistic setting that was being portrayed. Not because it was a fantasy world but because it appeared as if characters had been stuck on top of a cartoon background.

The 3D experience isn’t looking to be on the up and out but rather the up and up. Additional instalments in long awaited flicks such as the next Narnia film (The Voyage of the Dawn Treader) or the final Harry Potter (The Deathly Hallows) will both have the opportunity to take the viewer into the third dimension.

Save that extra $5 a 3D ticket would cost you and spend it on something more worthwhile. My suggestion; some snacks to accompany a film that will have exactly the same quality factors in the second dimension as it would in any other.

issue 18 AUG 2010

by Jared Van Huenen

Normally when something

new comes out and everybody wets themselves with excitement, I decide that it’s stupid. Well, no technological phenomena over the last 12 or so months has sparked as much interest as 3D films.

As a result, about nine million people have wet themselves with excitement.

While I’m not one of those nine million, I do believe that 3D films have a place in our lives.

I think most of the hate toward 3D films exists because people are all “3D films have been around for ages and they weren’t cool then so why would they be cool now?”. Well old 3D was rubbish, largely because old TVs were shit. Those olden days episodes of Third Rock From the Sun were not, as you can imagine, up the same standard of production quality as, say, Avatar. The difference is perhaps represented better by the fact that we don’t get our 3D glasses in the TV Guide for $5 anymore. Rather, $10 on the end of a movie ticket is the usual suspect.

And it is a lot more expensive. When a couples trip to the movies costs about $50 these days, you want to be cutting corners where you can. My point, for those of you wondering which team my debate is on, is that some films need to be seen in 3D. For that is how they were made.

It’s easy to use Avatar as an example because it made so much money and is, therefore, a rather shiny beacon of success for the 3D medium. Would it have made $2.7 billion if it was just 2D? Who knows, but I’d guess probably not. The point here is that films which are so clearly built for 3D do the technology a whole hell of a lot more justice than films that are converted to 3D. Toy Story 3 was also filmed in 3D, and not just converted in post. Now that was a success, and not just for the storyline either! These bandwagon films usually cost around $30 million to convert to 3D, and have a decidedly less enthralling result – Alice in Wonderland or Clash of the Titans anyone?

What I’m trying to say is that a good, properly made 3D film has a lot to offer, and we should be more open-minded when it comes to our cinematic experiences. As the technology advances the glasses will become less intrusive and the depth of the third dimension will develop into something much more immersive. I wouldn’t go out and buy a 3D TV (even if I had $8000) just yet, but there’s the start of something genuinely exciting there.

Moral of the story is that as much as you might dislike the extra $6 on your movie ticket and the slight (and often forgettable) inconvenience of wearing glasses in a film, the experience can often be truly entertaining. The only problem that will arise with the plethora of 3D films set to be released over the next 12 months is that half of them will be shit. Therefore, people will say “3D films suck” when really they’ll be meaning “Saw 7 sucked”. The seventh Saw instalment will at least enjoy the comparatively redeeming quality of actually being filmed in 3D. It will still suck. Jackass 3D is another example of a franchise turning to 3D to entice profits, though I’m not sure whether the faint hearted or the weak stomached will enjoy either of those films, irrespective the dimensions they occupy.

I guess some people will be eternally opposed to the 3D shift but, I wonder, did the same thing happen in the 50s when people were getting colour TVs? I doubt there was opposition to the same extent that 3D is experiencing, but people will always be opposed to changes in things that they’ve used for so long.

All in all, and I think this is a point on which we can all agree, a 3D film made properly for the medium with a decent story and characters and everything else – is better. And not just because I said so.

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Protein powders, protein bars, rehydration drinks, recovery powders; the list goes on. Some athletes swear by them, others don’t think they’re worth it. Read this to discover whether you’re getting your money’s worth out of your sports supplement.

If you’re like me and go to the gym for fitness you probably don’t need anything extra except water. If your training session lasts for more than 60 – 90 minutes and you’re working at a high intensity most of the time you will need to think carefully about your food because you have depleted your body stores.

Protein powders and bars are meant to help aid recovery and build muscle. If you’re trying to build muscle, your need to eat adequate protein to help build that muscle but not as much as you might think. When you start out you need about 1.5 – 1.7g protein per kg body weight per day, this drops to 1.2-1.4g/kg body weight once you have adapted to your regime. For an 80kg person this means 96 – 136g protein per day. You get 96g protein from cereal with milk, yoghurt, two cheese sandwiches, muesli bar and spag bol for dinner. So it isn’t impossible to get the protein you need from your everyday eating if you wish.

After intense training, people need approximately 10g of protein and about 1g of carbohydrate per kg of body weight shortly after training for recovery. Most protein bars and protein shakes have very little carbohydrate in them so you’ll need to find one with carbohydrate if you want this as your recovery food. You can also get the carb/protein mix easily from real food.

Some examples of good post training foods are: bread roll with cheese, two muesli bars, creamed rice, flavoured milk (especially breakfast drinks), protein muffin (see this week’s recipe). If you find it difficult to eat after intense

Serves: 6.

Cost: $1.73 per serve

This recipe is one of the online recipes by Bronwyn King for the Healthy Food Guide (www.healthyfood. co.nz) and is a great quick low cost meal. Meatloaf is not something that I think ‘Ooo yes, that would be awesome for dinner’ but when I make it I always love it. It’s especially great in winter with roasted veges and some gravy. When I make this I often substitute the curry powder for Worcestershire sauce; feel free to experiment with other flavours as well.

750g lean beef mince 1 cup wholemeal breadcrumbs ½ cup rolled oats 1 onion, finely chopped 2 cloves garlic, crushed ½ cup chopped fresh parsley 1 ½ cups grated vegetables (carrot, kumara, pumpkin, courgette, etc) 1 egg 1 teaspoon curry powder 2 teaspoons mixed herbs 1 teaspoon salt

1 Mix all ingredients together in a bowl.

2 Press into a medium sized loaf tin.

3 Cover with foil and cook at 190°C for 30 minutes.

4 Remove foil and cook for a further 20-30 minutes or until juices

run clear when tested with a skewer.

5

Serve hot or cold.

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training, a bar or shake can be useful as long as it has protein and carbs in it.

Rehydration is another important part of performance and recovery. After intense training you should drink fluids with electrolytes to replace what you have sweated out. Good sports drinks have approximately four – eight per cent carbohydrate and 10 – 20mmol per litre of sodium. How much fluid each person needs varies depending on how much you sweat. If you weigh yourself before and after a workout you get an idea of how much fluid you have lost.

Buying powders to add to water are significantly cheaper than buying premade sports drinks. Try measuring out the correct amount of powder and have it in a small plastic container so it’s ready to pour into your bottle when you need it.

It’s true that some athletes need to think carefully about their nutrition when they’re training, but most people should be able to satisfy their nutritional needs with food if they wish. The majority of us who just go to the gym don’t need to spend money on supplements. If you’re someone who doesn’t want to eat much after training or needs something super convenient then a meal replacement bar or drink can be ideal but check it has a good balance of protein AND carbohydrate!

More information is available at the Australian Institute of Sport website www.ausport.gov.au. If you need a personalised plan get an appointment with a sports nutritionist or dietitian.

Makes: 15 muffins Cost: $0.43 per muffin These are great because I just put old bananas in the freezer and then defrost them when I make a batch of muffins. Frozen defrosted bananas look revolting but they make great baking! When the muffins have cooled wrap freeze them individually. Then they’re perfect to grab on the way to training and they’re defrosted once your session is over. One muffin gives you 50g carbohydrate and 10g protein.

2 bananas 2 eggs ¼ C oil 1 cup milk 1 ¼ cups skim milk powder 1 ½ cups white flour 4 teaspoons baking powder ¾ cup brown sugar 1 cup wholemeal flour 1 cup chocolate chips

The trick of sieving your brown sugar with the white flour stops you getting any lumps of brown sugar. If you find that you’ve sifted all the flour and there’s still brown sugar in the sieve just take some flour out of the bowl and put it back into the sieve to get your brown sugar through.

1

Mash bananas, beat in eggs, oil and milk and milk powder. Put aside

2 3

Put brown sugar into sieve over an empty bowl but don’t sift yet.

Add white flour and baking powder to sieve and use that to help sieve your brown sugar. (See note below for more information about why I do this)

4 Mix wholemeal flour and chocolate chips into the white flour/ brown sugar mixture.

5 Make a well in the centre of the dry ingredients and pour in the wet ingredients 6 7

Gently mix until just combined and put into muffin trays.

Cook at 180°C for 15 – 18 minutes until top of the muffins springs back when touched.

by Selena La Fleur

So far in 2010 there has been much hype

over all things new and exciting. Namely, Twilight, The World Cup, Inception, Justin Bieber and the new iPad. There’s hype over where everyone should go for New Years, whose 21st to go to, the newest clothes and shoes, the new Subway sandwich or if you’re invited to Kelly’s party on Facebook. The question is, why do New Zealanders hype over every little thing? The media plays a big part in this, and every day we are bombarded with news and images of the newest craze or obsession. We* became obsessed with a 16-year-old pre-pubescent boy when he visited our shores earlier this year, we woke up at 4am to watch the All Whites compete in the World Cup and pushed and shoved to get our hands on the new iPad. Madness. I saw Inception, and to be honest I didn’t get it. And I don’t think I’m alone here. I mean, yes it is a well-thought out movie and would appeal to a wide audience, but so are many International Festival Films that only play in small cinemas, which are not advertised as much as a Hollywood film, like Inception. It seems like we need a male voiceover on our television or in our radio instructing us to go see a particular movie, in order for it to be a huge success.

We jump on the supportive bandwagon when a national sports team is competing or winning and jump right back off when they lose. Now, I know the All Whites were the only undefeated team and never lost a game, but they also never won a game either. The support of the All Whites as the underdog was great to see but the hype that we would come out on top was just a bit too much. The media had us eating out the palm of their hands, following supporters around and showing us happy faces on screen. What about the host country of the World Cup? It was all a big gag to keep rich people happy and to show how great the ANC was. Rich people went to South Africa and left quickly, leaving nothing for people or local businesses. I bet if you ask around, some people would have a hard time saying who each player was and who we drew against. Some people are just in it for the hype.

Media, especially television blow everything way out of proportion. Remember seeing on Facebook all the groups to do with Kelly’s party? Even after John Campbell ran a segment and revealed it was just some random dude making it all up, hundreds of groups were made for people to join. I still have no idea why someone would make up groups such as “I don’t want to lose my turban at Kate’s party” or “Fuck Ke$ha, the party don’t start ‘til Kate walks in”, and then invite me to join. And just a few weeks ago Brad Pitt was supposedly spotted in New Zealand, and everyone was sending in issue 18 AUG 2010

their alleged sightings of the Hollywood hunk. I’m sorry, but no photo, no proof.

New Years hype is the worst; already people are freaking out because they didn’t get their Corogold or La De Da ticket. New Years is still four months away. I hate being torn between groups of friends that want to do different things at New Years when in all honesty I’d rather wait until the hype dies down, and go to the beach and have a BBQ and a few drinks with friends. Everyone needs to calm down and stop running around like headless chickens. The summer is a super sweet time in itself, you’ll get your ticket and you’ll have your New Years pash all in good time. After a thing called exams, remember? I’m such a kill joy, I love it. And what happened to good old fashioned 21st invites sent in the mail? From the beginning of the year I had Facebook events popping up for gigs in November and December. How am I meant to know what I’ll be doing on November 17 when clearly you have already made up my mind 11 months in advance? For a group that have gained a reputation in being carefree and spontaneous, students sure are organised this year.

So, to finish off all I’m saying is don’t buy into the hype. You don’t have to be a mechanical puppet controlled by the media to know what is cool and trendy. There will be an iPad Nano sometime soon, or another version of the iPhone, and without the reception issues that have been “hyped” around it as well. There are plenty more Inception-style movies out there that will blow your mind, and those too will become overdone and not live up to expectations. The first part of the final Harry Potter film is in three months; has the hype started about that yet? And I’m sure another awesome party waiting around the corner. All you need to do is click “attending”. *who do you mean by we, Selena? - Ed.

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Switzerland

More than just Swiss cheese.

by Katie Montgomerie Where? Oh did you say Sweden?

No, Switzerland. I was in Switzerland a few weeks ago for the second

time in two years and it still astounds me how many people have no idea where Switzerland is or what part it plays in the world. Although, I must admit before I met Stephan (my Swiss boyfriend) I had no idea either.

Our meeting on a somewhat alcohol fuelled night went something like this: “You look Italian... But you sound German... Where are you from?”

“Switzerland, you know where that is?” “Yeah, uh... Europe?” However, although Switzerland is in Europe it is completely different to the other countries surrounding it.

For starters, Switzerland is not part of the European Union, although it is completely landlocked and shares its border with Germany, France, Italy and Austria, all of whom are members. Secondly, like Israel, Switzerland has compulsory army conscription. This means that at the age of 19 all men in Switzerland have to join the army for around 21 weeks in order to be trained in the processes of war. Just in case Switzerland, despite its declaration of neutrality, is invaded by armed forces from another country. After the initial training period, the new soldiers are allowed to take their semi-automatic, government-paid weapons home to be kept safe and to be used in the slim possibility of a war. As a female, you don’t have to do a thing, unless you want to of course, in which case you can also volunteer for the army. Some may call this sexist but funnily enough the females in Switzerland have never risen up against this discrimination. After the initial training period, the men in Switzerland have to go back to the military for compulsory retraining once a year for three weeks until you are around 35. For me this is one of the quirks of Switzerland that make this country so interesting. It also means they have one of the largest number of trained army personnel per capita with 134,886 active personnel and 77,000 reserve personnel. As there is only around seven million people living in Switzerland this is a huge amount! In New Zealand we only have around 9000 active personnel and 2000 reserve personnel.

Something else people also don’t often realise is that Switzerland has four official languages; German, French, Italian and Romansh. This makes the country really interesting to travel around as it almost feels like you are in a different country when you are in the different regions. I was staying in the state of Aargau where they speak a form of German called Swiss German, although many German people can’t understand it. However, I went on a day trip to Geneva. Geneva is one of Switzerland’s most famous cities as it houses the UN, the giant fountain, (more on that later) and CERN (think of Angels and Demons by Dan Brown). In Geneva they speak French but that’s not the only difference. To be honest, I almost thought I was in Paris again when I got off the train in Geneva. They even have a massive church with a tower called St Pierre Cathedral that is reminiscent of the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris (although not quite so impressive).

I’m sure some of you have heard about the whole “banking secrecy” thing in Switzerland, and you probably think it’s bad that people can put their money in off shore bank accounts to evade tax laws. I’m not saying this is right either, if you live in a country you should have to pay for the upkeep of it. However what you probably don’t know is that the banking law of 1934 – the law that included banking secrecy in its provisions – was put in place in order to stop Nazi authorities’ attempts to check out the assets

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of Jews and other enemies of the state. I consider this to be kind of a good thing; it would be comforting to know not just any old government agency can check my account balance whenever they want. But it just so happens people are continuing to exploit this provision today to avoid tax. Give it a few years and I’m sure the banking secrecy of Switzerland will be down the drain, not that we students have to worry much considering most of us don’t have two fivers to rub together!

Now, Swiss food... God where do I begin... hmm... I know, CHOCOLATE! The chocolate is just so good! And the great thing is that it’s also sold over here! Well some of it anyway. Lindt is a Swiss brand – their chilli chocolate is amazing! If you are a regular Cadbury fan, then you’re in for a treat if you splash out and buy some Lindt chocolate.

The other great thing about Switzerland is the cheese. There is cheese everywhere! And forget about the “swiss cheese” crap you get in Subway, the real thing tastes way better! Gruyere, Lucerne cream cheese, Raclette, Emmentaler, Fribourgeois... the list goes on! But the best thing is that you can go into a supermarket and try the cheese before you buy it!

Oh and fondue! You can have chocolate fondue, cheese fondue and meat fondue (not meat soup, you dip raw meat into a boiling broth until it cooks... yummy!).

Switzerland is a great country for the food alone, but the people are also very accommodating. No more of the disdainful looks when you try to say something in their language and then give up and say it in English (ahem, France...) Swiss people even apologise to you if they feel like they can’t speak English as well as they should!

I could go on for pages but I’m already over my 1000 words so I will end it here. Switzerland is an amazing little country with so much to offer. So when you all go on your big OE after years of working hard at uni, don’t leave it out of your Europe itinerary because it really does have something for everyone!

Before I went to primary school, it was my

life’s ambition to become a milk man. Now I’m not talking about Farmer Brown who milks the cows at ungodly hours of the morning.

I’m talking about the dude that used to ride on the back of the truck, delivering milk to old ladies, sounding that horrendous musical horn around the neighbourhood. This was all I needed to fulfil my life’s purpose; a minimum wage of 10 brownie points a fortnight.

This all changes when you go to school. You realise that the sun shines out of your teacher’s arse and think of how awesome it would be look after five-year-olds for a living. Not a worry in the world; you’d get to stay at school for the rest of your life, putting smiley faces on diary entries which describe Mum’s hangover (she wasn’t impressed by that one).

After the ‘I want to be an artist’ phase, you realise that neither profession offers an income capable of purchasing your five-story mansion and convertible Ferrari. So you decide to become a lawyer or an architect. If you were really brave, you’d declare your intentions to become a doctor, but they were only the people that wanted to be different from everyone else. Probably the kid that would sit on the mat with their arms folded above their head to show they were sitting up better than anyone else. Actually, let’s face it, we all did it.

Then as we enter our pubescent years we get caught in the slipstream of social hierarchies. After working our way up to the status of Lord Overseer of the Playground, suddenly we’re back at the bottom of the pile at intermediate and once more in third form.

You get caught between picking subjects that your friends are taking while starting to see the faint light that is graduation. The years skip by until suddenly you have 10 different prospectuses from 10 different universities insisting their course is your future. You start to wonder where the milk man inside you went.

In my first year of university at 19 years of age I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. To be honest, I thought I’d just rock up to this Communications course for two years until I chose a major that sounded mildly interesting and would get me a half decent job.

Needless to say, I didn’t expect to be singling out career paths this early on when given the dreaded ‘choosing majors’ lecture a couple of weeks ago.

It’s hard for me to contemplate that I’ve reached the stage of my life where I must determine the road I wish to travel. Still in the mode of studying, I see myself as nothing more than a student whittling away the hours of the year with assignments until semester break presents itself. So it came as a surprise when asked by a child at the school holiday program I work for: “what’s it like to be an adult?”

I attempted to explain that my mind was probably as mature as his eight-year-old one was, without much success. His idea of an adult was someone who could go places whenever and wherever they wanted, which was true. He also said that I could drink Coke and Sprite whenever I wanted, to which I responded “yes…Coke”. issue 18 AUG 2010

Yet as I waltz through university getting my free feeds on Thursdays and scour the internet during Monday morning lectures I learn something that really put things into perspective. An old classmate of mine has just scored a hat-trick of tries in his rugby debut for Belfast in Christchurch. He was playing on the wing, outside Sonny Bill Williams. What. The. Fuck. Money-Bill is the guy whose face is plastered upon posters in my bedroom. He’s the one on the cover of all my old Rugby League Week magazines. Yet he’s the one rubbing shoulders with someone I consider to be at the same stage in life as myself.

So I sit here with my List A and List B of majors to pick from and wonder how any will take me to a place in life where I’ll be content with what I’ve achieved. No longer is the future a far and distant prospect that I could deal with in a decade or so. It sort of feels like fate is becoming impatient and resembles the banker on Deal or No Deal. But the decision is simple. You will never work a day in your life should you follow the path that brings you the most enjoyment. I was told last week from Manu Taylor from bFM, you cope with disappointment and setbacks within an industry much easier if you have a passion for what you do. There is no longer a service that delivers milk personally to households. However, should I decide in a semi-sober state that my life’s ambition really is to bring Mrs Buckingham her two litre bottle of blue-top each week, then I guarantee you I will be the happiest, most brownie-pointed milk man there ever was.

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by Samantha McQueen

I

f you’re an avid movie watcher like myself, you might have noticed the defining trends over the past 10 years. The first is the introduction of 3D technology in films (and let’s be honest, a lot of you are already calling for its exit), which has taken over the release schedule this year. Think Avatar, Alice in Wonderland, Clash of the Titans and Toy Story 3; all films that were either shot, or converted into 3D. The second is the increase in Hollywood sequels and remakes (the Shrek series, Sex and the City, The Karate Kid and the upcoming Scream 4 and Yogi Bear movies), which proves Hollywood has very little imagination left in them, and the ounce they have left has been donated to Christopher Nolan. The third is the increase in popularity of musical films.

Now I’m not just talking about the film adaptations of Broadway and West End greats, like Phantom of the Opera or My Fair Lady.

You may remember childhood greats like Aladdin, The Lion King, and more obscurely, Fern Gully or The Princess and the Goblin; they’re all musicals. Great musicals. In fact, the first movie that had synchronised sound (aka not a silent movie), The Jazz Singer (1927), was also the first movie musical. Yes, there were movies without sound and Technicolor and all that other fancy stuff. And if you’ve watched any old movies or romantic comedies, you’ll quickly see what people mean when they talk about the “golden age” of Hollywood films (off the top of my head, it’s referenced in that Cameron Diaz/ Kate Winslet comedy The Holiday). The 1930s and the 1940s were the musicals’ wonder years. Fred Astaire was the king and Ginger Rogers was his queen. Never heard of them? They starred in the famous 30s musicals Swing Time and Shall We Dance (not to be confused with that awful Jennifer Lopez and Richard Gere movie). Well lucky for you, one of their iconic musicals, Top Hat, is playing at Event Cinemas in the coming weeks. Join me for some musical education.

So just who was responsible for the tap dancing, uber-chirpy music in the films you might ask? A young chap called Arthur Freed, who along with MGM (the one with the lion), defined the “new age” of musicals, with hits like Meet Me in St. Louis, Singin’ in the Rain and An American in Paris throughout the late 40s and 50s. But for those musical lovers reading this out there, your first taste of the “olden day” musicals probably came from the 50s classics Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty (yes, they’re really that old), or The Sound of Music and Mary Poppins (Disney strikes again!). No doubt some of you wished you had nannies that made clothes out of curtains or travelled via umbrella. And didn’t cleaning your room look like so much fun?

Lucky most of you weren’t born in the 50s or 60s, because after good old Mary, musicals flopped on the big screen. The only notable successes were Rocky Horror Picture Show in 1975 and Grease in 1978, and that was because they both steered away from chirping birds and whimsical fairytales and used edgier music instead. Plus Grease had John Travolta in it, who was like the 70s Zac Efron, or something like that.

When majority of AUT’s student community were being birthed into the world, Hollywood was gearing up for a Disney musical

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takeover. There’s a high chance that your first movie was a musical, be it The Little Mermaid, Aladdin or The Lion King. I bet you still know all the words to A Whole New World or I Just Can’t Wait To Be King.

You don’t, musical hater? Well let me refresh your memory.

“I’m gonna be a mighty king, so enemies beware!

“I’ve never seen a king of beasts, with quite so little hair “I’m gonna be the mane event…”

Yeah I know you’re singing it in your head. Bet if you sung it out loud in a lecture you’d have a group sing-along in your hands. Disney stepped up and gave the movie musical industry a big kick up the butt so when the new millennium rolled around – after everyone realised there was no Y2K bug – people had yet another genre to pick from.

A lot of them were romance-filled musicals, so the demographic was females, but it worked. Moulin Rouge grossed almost $180 million worldwide when it released in 2001 and even today it rates at the top of a lot of women’s “best movies of all time” lists. Across the Universe attempted to pull the male crowds in 2007 with a musical set not only during the Vietnam War, but to a soundtrack made up of only Beatles songs. Oh, and that creepy Evan Rachel Wood was in it as well.

And if that didn’t float your boat, then the Disney tank had something for everyone. What about the real-life musical Enchanted, which saw McDreamy as the McPrince who wore McTights. Or there’s the introduction of the Disney franchise that saw tweens swoon, while the rest of us put guns to our heads; High School Musical. Yes, those three movies, starring some of the cheesiest acting known to man, is part of the musical genre. And funnily enough, it’s probably the most successful. The third film – the only one released in theatres – made more than $250 million at the box office. It also shot Zac Efron to superstardom, which he further cemented when he went and did the movie adaptation of Hairspray. Funnily enough, this film also has John Travolta in it, but I don’t think anyone would be calling him a stud this time around.

We’ve also been tortured with some pretty awful ones in the last few years as well (on top of High School Musical). Remakes of Mamma Mia! and Fame did not go down with critics or with audiences, and then there’s been the High School Musical follow ups; Camp Rock, Starstruck, The American Mall… Hollywood really does suck the life out of everything.

But really, the movie musical has defined the film industry. What would our history books look like without Ginger Rogers, Marilyn Monroe or even the musical stylings of Audrey Hepburn? If movies are about escapism, then isn’t the musical genre the most successful of them all, because really, who breaks into a theatrical musical number in the middle of the street? The little kid inside us adored the show tunes brought to us by our old friend Walt, and even now, they’re sneaking musical numbers into a lot of movies we watch.

Oh, and that TV show you’re obsessed with, Glee? That’s a musical too. But that’s an article for another day.

What does roller derby bring to mind exactly? Horses on roller skates? Lesbians on wheels? Roller hockey?

The sport Juno played with Drew Barrymore? Well people, let me debunk the myth and explain to you exactly what roller derby is, and how it attracts huge numbers of provocatively dressed ladies, donning alter egos and smashing up other chicks, all in the name of sport.

M

odern roller derby’s roots are in Austin, Texas, when in 2001 a group of ladies formed the Texas Roller Derby, and began redefining the sport, attracting women who face thrills and spills head on, wear (and need!) mouth guards, kneepads, elbow pads, and for a small amount of time each week take on an alter ego usually quite unlike that of their normal everyday personality.

Roller derby brings together blue collar workers by day, girl bashers by night, in a competition to score as many points as possible against the other team. Five players from each team are on the track at once, four blockers (who make a pack) and one jammer. The jammer is the only player who can score points by lapping the players in the opposition’s pack. The pack of blockers then do their best to help their jammer through, and stop the other team’s jammer from getting through by using shoulder barges, hip checks and booty blocks to do this.

It’s sports entertainment at its best, and watching a bout is a thing to behold. I have been to a few bouts and was always impressed by the organisation and dedication that goes into bringing it to life. I’m always in awe of the spectacle that unfolds in front of my eyes, unable to comprehend how I could ever be so fearless. A few weeks ago I talked to Spar Kill (Fliss) about all things roller derby, to learn more about the attraction a sport which leaves you bruised, maimed, broken and empowered.

Spar Kill is one of the OG members of the first New Zealand all-girl roller derby squad “The Pirate City Rollers”. Set up in 2006 by American Dale Rio, the Pirate City Rollers have since been joined by the Northland Nightmares, HELLmilton Roller Ghouls (Hamilton), Mountain City (New Plymouth), Richter City Roller Derby (Wellington) and Dead End Derby (Christchurch), and roller derby is now a thriving sports sub-culture in most New Zealand cities.

For Spar Kill and most of her team mates, roller derby is a not just a hobby… it’s a lifestyle. Four trainings a week means the dedication needed to be a roller derby girl is extreme, and it is well acknowledged internally that the partners of the players are often referred to as “Derby Widows”.

So where is the attraction? Spar Kill says she loves the culture among women created by the sport. She admits that before roller derby she never had many girl friends, but roller derby seems to attract the types of women which she identifies with. She also explains that when she takes on her roller derby alias and joins her team on the rink, all body image issues and societal rules are thrown out the window. Big hips and well-padded arses are things of envy or pride, with the ability to send other girls flying around the rink.

Outfits you’d never get away with in real life are barely even glanced at, Spark Kill loves nothing more than wearing her sparkly hot pants with a singlet and some funky coloured fish nets to training; it’s only on her way to training that people have to look twice.

The sport is terrific to watch and more like a spectacle than a game.

Costumed beer wenches sell beer in the stands, the players wear their favourite costumes (which usually include face paint), the crowd holds its breath when one chick gets bounced and hits the ground or the sides of the rink, and applauds when she gets up and skates on. There is definitely no “normal” roller derby girl, they can be aged from 18 to 40, big, tall, short, small; all shapes and sizes have their advantages on the rink. issue 18 AUG 2010

Speaking of which, if you’d like to see roller derby in action, make sure you head along to the bout between Mascara Massacre and Dead Reckoning on August 21 (details on the poster below). If you think you are brave enough to give roller derby a go, head along to a Fresh Meat Day: every Sunday at the Papatoetoe Skate Rink, Wallace Road from 4-5.30pm. The league provides everything you need free of charge, so you really have no excuse not to go along (BYO hot pants though).

For more information about roller derby or Fresh Meat Days, visit www.

piratecityrollers.com Check out the poster on this page for more details.

Roller Derby Terms:

Fresh Meat = new girls being inducted into roller derby, have to pass a basic skills test before becoming officially marinated.

Bout = A game of roller derby, typically 30 minutes each half.

Alias = The alter ego name used in roller derby circles. Some of the names of the Auckland league are Spar Kill, Scheisse Minnelli, Witch Slap and Enemy Bronte. Often girls don’t know the real names of people on their team, as the alias is the only name used.

International Roller Girls Roller Master = The list of all roller derby alter egos in the world. All names have to be unique and registered on the roll to be eligible to play in bouts.

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ut year b e h t r d fo lm, lanne ll things fi re p s e he oa ssu ated t med i sue, w ns to c e s i i h d t s e e w d or tio vie ue uple m ant an iss about a re ur sugges o c a o il y got ou w How ? Ema We’ve eme! Do y e sexes? s ! e i p l t i e r th th eb ur h g on a le between o visit, cel ds yo n i e d e i n c t t e t e debat our help d es on a ba od, places y s fo u d c e ad? we ne ges that fo something want to re s u pa or 36 iece review What do yo p nz. every ut.ac. a @ e debat

Contributors Required. news hounds, political gurus, feature writers, reviewers, columnists, sports writers, opinionists, photographers, cover designers, cartoonists, humourists...

debate is your oyster.

For more info, email Samantha McQueen on debate@aut.ac.nz or drop in to the AuSM city campus office for a chat.

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by Mike Atkins As a writer, you experience my words but you

don’t get a sense of the man behind the words. So here I’ll give you a sense of the man that I am; I’ll answer the most pressing question about myself: “what do I look like”? I’ll answer that with that hoary old descriptor: which celebrity do I most resemble?

The celebrity I most resemble: if crooner Bing Crosby, and Duran Duran lead singer Simon LeBon had a baby... they’d need the help of advanced in-vitro fertilization technology for the child to be their true genetic progeny. Luckily they’d find a clinic in Switzerland that had managed to form an embryo from two sperm in mice (the way they would get around the problem that sperm has no mitochondrial DNA would be quite impressive), and Simon and Bing would volunteer to be the process’ first human test subjects.

They’d still need a female surrogate to carry the child though. For reasons Simon would never let Bing know about, he would insist on the surrogate being Blondie lead singer Debbie Harry. The reason would be that despite the fact they were having a child together, Simon would still have feelings for women. Of course he knew Bing wouldn’t have minded him being bisexual as long as he was honest about it – except the problem would be that he’d never been honest about it. Furthermore, Debbie would be a woman Simon would be extremely attracted to. He would know he would never be with her; after all, he would be with the man he loved already. But her cheek bones would be to die for in his opinion; “if only my child could have those cheek-bones” he would think as he lay awake at night “A child with such cheek bones would posses such beauty that they would never want of anything”.

So it would be for fear of breaking Bing’s heart that Simon would never tell him why Debbie carried their child. But Bing invented the television laugh track, so he’s smarter than he looks. He’d know the score. He would try to reason with Simon that the child would not have any of Debbie’s physical attributes, and that was the entire point of them going to Switzerland to make a baby. Unfortunately, it is well known that Simon is not too bright. Everything he would know about reproduction he would have learnt from Alien 3. Bing would have done most of the talking in the doctor’s office at the Swiss clinic.

It was not for his brain that Bing loved Simon, and he would come to the conclusion that it was best not to destroy any illusions, and would just let it go.

How could such a scenario go awry? How could the child of these (in Simon’s mind) three beautiful people not himself be beautiful?

Well, it would’ve happened one night while Blondie was on the “It Came From New York” tour with the Talking Heads and The Ramones.

That would be the night that the Ramones’ notorious groupie “Edie

issue 18 AUG 2010

the egg lady” introduced Debbie to Pakistani cashew vodka. Well, that would be the end of the singer’s hopes of bearing a healthy child. That child would be skinny, pale and asthmatic, thanks to an alcoholic beverage from a nation where alcohol is illegal for most of the population. Ironic.

In a bizarre epilogue, the embryos that were not used were adopted by three families in Utah, and grew up to become three of the four members of a rock band called The Killers. The fourth member, drummer Ronnie Vanucci has a far less banal creation story, but that’s a story for another time.

Another time: Ronnie Vanucci was the product of another same sex partnership; this time it was between surrealist film director David Lynch and Matthew Cullen. Who is Matthew Cullen you ask? He directed the video for Katy Perry’s California Gurls, and was responsible for the innovation of the whipped-cream jizzing cupcake bra. Cullen did not envision “whipped-cream jizzing cupcake bra” as an object however, but merely as a nonsensical string of words he liked to leave assembled on the fridge in coloured-letter fridge magnets to confuse visitors. He liked to do this, because he himself is not a very sociable person, having been raised by a pack of autistic golden-retrievers.

It took the floating disembodied head of Snoop Dogg to realise that whipped-cream jizzing cupcake bra could actually be a real thing. Snoop Dogg’s head was disembodied and floating around at the time, in preparation for the final scene in Matthew’s Katy Perry video in which Snoop is buried up to his neck in sand. You see, after seeing the video for Vato, it was decided that Snoop was far too tough to ever be buried up to his neck in sand, and his head would have to be temporarily removed, and placed on the ground for the shot.

The young Ronnie Vanucci witnessed his fathers decapitating Snoop Dogg. He also witnessed them creating other effects for the video, such as encasing a girl in green jelly, and indoctrinating Perry to believe that bikinis go on top of denim shorts, not the other way around, so that she could sing the line “Daisy Dukes/bikinis on top” without having steam come out of her ears. This was achieved in much the same way that Malcolm McDowell was brainwashed in A Clockwork Orange, and now Katy Perry becomes violently ill when exposed to bikinis, denim cut-off shorts, and Beethoven music.

Having witnessed these things, young Ronnie developed severe post traumatic stress disorder, but whatever does not kill you only makes you stronger, and that is why Ronnie Vanucci is the only bald man with a moustache, who is in the top five “coolest people in the world”.

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by Jared One of the upsides of spending your whole

life on the internet (like all of us uni kids do) is that occasionally you discover amazing things that seem (and sometimes are) impossible. I’m not talking about that YouTube video of a double rainbow; I have recently discovered an actual amazing thing. Oddee.com is a website devoted to odd things –the weird and wonderful of the world. Everyone loves the light reading that a listicle provides, so I thought it would be good to look at ten of the weirdest diseases ever. Which sounds quite morbid. But we’re learning, and that’s what counts.

Firstly, that disease that Benjamin Button had was impossible, but Progeria is at least similar. Kids with progeria age incredibly fast and go bald, have heart issues and get arthritis just like an old person. Less than 50 people on earth have the disease, and those with it don’t typically live past 15, which is incredibly sad for one Indian family who have five children who all have it.

One of the weird diseases that you’ve probably heard of already is Elephantiasis. This disease is when people’s arms and legs get massive. This one really needs a google image search. Essentially, mosquitos implant their babies into people and they breed and block up your blood vessels so fluid builds up in your limbs...gross.

Werewolf

Syndrome

is all kinds of weird. Those with it grow hair all over their body...hence they look like wolves. It’s a pretty offensive name though, because they don’t even grow big teeth or claws.

A whole family in Mexico have the disease, and two of the brothers even got offered a role in X-Files (which they turned down).

Oddee calls this next one Vampire Disease, which is pretty far-fetched because it’s just when people can’t handle being in the sun or they burn and blister. I saw a documentary on kids with it, and they have to play at night or wear big fencing masks during the day. I’ve never seen any.

Pica might be my favourite.

It’s rare in that doctors don’t know what it is, why it happens or how to stop it. Essentially it’s when people have an uncontrollable desire to eat things that shouldn’t be eaten. Things include mud, dirt, coins, chalk, raw potato, salt, even bits of metal. If you Wikipedia it there’s a picture of

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all the items removed from one patient who had pica. Holy shit there’s like a thousand bits of metal and rocks and that. Check it out.

The next one seems a bit bullshit but, as we all know, if it’s on the interwebs it’s probably true. Oddee says a family in the ‘60s all had Blue Skin Syndrome, which is pretty self explanatory. Apparently colours ranged from light blue through to indigo or purple. I wiki’d it and it sounds like they ingested to much silver, which is fucked. Maybe they all had pica.

If pica wasn’t my fave, then AIWS definitely is.

Alice In Wonderland Syndrome (coolest name ever) is a neurological disorder that fucks up your sense of perception. It causes your brain to misjudge time, size and space. Dogs can appear as small as mice, cars can look like models and people can look like giants. Patients have likened it to dreaming and, based on the fact that it’s only temporary and is very easy to treat, I wouldn’t mind having a go. It’s common in people who get migraines, as well as children.

Blaschko’s Lines, named after German dermatologist Alfred Blaschko, are thought to exist in everyone, but are only visible in people with certain skin diseases. The lines form a V shape all the way down the patient’s spine, and then form S shapes on the stomach, chest and sides. It looks kind of like you have a tan, but you’re also a tiger. Sort of.

Jumping Frenchman disorder is a tough one because now it’s fallen under the Tourette’s umbrella.

Apparently French-Canadian lumberjacks had it in the 19th century. Basically it meant that sufferers would be scared shitless every time anyone did anything. Also, rather bizarrely, if you told them to do something they would immediately do it. Like “hit yourself in the face!” They’d get all scared and do it.

Mental depression can, in rare circumstances, lead to Walking Corpse Syndrome. In other words, people think they’re dead when they’re not. Patients claim to have lost all of their belongings and sometimes a part or all of their body, believing they have died and are now walking the earth as a ghost-like thing. Strangely, patients with the syndrome often believe that, because they’re dead, they are immortal.

These same symptoms can also be the result of amphetamine pyschosis, a.k.a. P fiends.

2. Which Super City candidate withdrew his bid for mayor last week because of family issues? a) Len Brown b) Ewen Gilmour c) Colin Craig d) Simon Prast 3. Which New Zealand artist or band was nominated for a Silver Scroll earlier this month? a) Kristen Morrell b) The Earlybirds c) The Naked and Famous d) Op Shop 4. When was Trade Me founded? a) 1999 b) 2001 c) 2003 d) 2006 5. What will be compulsory in all taxis once Government law passes? a) Safety glass b) Alarms c) Cameras d) Credit card facilities

6. How many teeth do children have? a) 32 b) 26 c) 20 d) 18 7. Which action star does not have a role in the upcoming Expendables movie? a) Jet Li b) Sylvester Stallone c) Arnold Schwarzenegger d) Jean-Claude Van Damme 8. How many sets of traffic lights are there in Taupo? a) None b) One c) Two d) Three 9. What Australian programme did Step Up 3D star Sharni Vinson get her big break in? a) Neighbours b) McLeod’s Daughters c) Blue Heelers d) Home and Away 10. What is the world’s deepest lake? a) Lake Baikal b) Lake Tahoe c) Lake Malawi, d) Lake Vostok answers:

Iko Iko is the store I go to when I don’t know what to get someone for a present. It could be for the person

who has everything (or at least a credit card or overdraft with which they could get anything they wanted) or for someone you don’t know well. I went in there this week to get my sister a birthday present. The first thing I saw as I walked in the door was this fantastic lamp. It was a horse with a lampshade on the top. Brilliant! That would look great on her bedside table, and I’m sure she would appreciate it, or at least remember me whenever she looked at it. Annoyingly it was one of the only things in the store that did not have a price on it! I asked and it was $260... A little out of my price range. I might see if I can get the family to pitch in and get it for her for Christmas.

I noticed the shelves were absolutely packed with awesome stuff.

First there were these cups that are the shape of those little plastic water cups and have been crushed slightly. They have a clear glass milk jug shaped like a carton of milk. There were ceramic ornaments that look just like paper cranes. On the next shelf there were loads of mugs, all the different colours of paint, and others the different colours

1a 2b 3c 4a 5c 6c 7d 8b 9d 10a

1. When does daylight savings begin this year? a) September 26 b) September 28 c) September 30 d) October 26

of crayola crayons. Next to that are classic board games: pin the tail on the donkey, twister, battleships, and not made by the big brands so they cost around $30 in retro-esque boxes. They have a range of kiwiana artwork and bags, some interesting shower curtains and jewellery to boot!

Then I notice among the lovely purses and wallets a kind of weird pattern on the leather of one. I read the label, eel skin wallets, hmm.

In the middle of the room they have a load of glass bins full of windup toys. To my delight they are all under $5 and could surely provide hours of fun on a wet day with races through the lounge. There are little robots, and alligators and cars, jumping frogs and chattering teeth even! I look to my left and there are little plastic watering cans in the shape of elephants…too cute. But apart from that, what am I going to get my sister? I spy some jewellery trees in the window, actually shaped like trees. Black or white metal are my choices. I choose the white one and take it home, proud as punch. Then when I give it to my sister I get the comment… “But don’t you remember, you already bought me a present, you gave it to me early!” Argh!

This review was written by a graduate in Retailing. If you are interested in retail and why people buy, take a look at papers in the Retail major in the Business School. You don’t have to be a business student to take the papers, so check out the website today!

issue 18 AUG 2010

23

by Vinny Francesco

by Selena La Fleur The trick to language “Naming is the origin of all particular things.”

This is a quote from the first stanza of the Tao Te Ching, the document most often translated from Chinese to English. The message of this verse is that language can sometimes “play tricks” on us; it can be somewhat deceiving and illusive.

When we identify actual occurrences with words, we are forging an association, and this we give the name “naming”.

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell just as sweet.”

This was written by one of the English language’s greatest architects, a man who pioneered and popularised more than 4000 words; Shakespeare. In this verse (said by Juliet in Romeo and Juliet) Shakespeare is expressing scepticism towards language’s clarity, yet he is one of the English language’s most prolific namers, a professional namer if you will. It seems he understood that while language can be deceiving, it can also be illuminating.

The trick to language can be demonstrated with an orange. An orange is a fruit, its flesh and skin being orange in colour… at least that is one of its characteristics. There are a plethora of other orange fruits, yet these are not dignified with the name “orange”. Is it that the orange fruit’s colour is better than other orange fruits; is the orange more deserving? Apparently the fruit was given the name first, and the colour took its name from that. But why don’t we call that colour “mandarin”? We give both a language and a fruit this name (mandarin), but are they in any way similar or connected?

Language can trick us into thinking the name is the same as the occurrence. As soon as we do this, we are compartmentalising or boxing the world and the things it hosts. For example, while an orange contains colour it also contains nutrition i.e. vitamin c and fructose and it can also grow into a plant. However, in giving the name “orange” to this dynamic and multi-faceted fruit, we have highlighted one particular characteristic; appearance. Now, you may be thinking this is a little insignificant, it’s just a fruit right? It seems that actually the world is not just a bunch of compartments, but rather there is flow between things.

For instance, we can see the same habit in the identification of people. Many refer to people as being black, or being white, as if personality is derived from complexion. Technically, just like colour is only one characteristic of oranges, “black” or “white” are singular characteristic of very dynamic living things; people. It would be more accurate to say “he has black skin” than to say “he is black”. To say “he is black” is to be tricked into thinking the name is the same as the thing.

In reality there is a lot of shit going on, and language can help us deal with this by protecting us from complexity. When you calculate the sum total of these abstractions, we get the name “culture”; something limited by language. Why do you think every particular word has so many synonyms, and such a vast array of definitions and conceptions? Yes, language can be a hassle, but it also provides better living. Interestingly enough, our language recognises that there are some things which cannot be named with much accuracy. The real trick is to recognise that the name is not the same as the actual occurrence.

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New Messages: 3 New Smiles:1 Think of the time when you have been the most

nervous. Maybe it was before a job interview or an exam? Meeting an online stranger who you have only e-mailed and texted could possibly blow those situations out of the water. I was revving myself up for what seemed like the most nerve-wracking meeting in my life. “I’m about five minutes away”, read the text. Balls. I was nowhere near ready and had made the somewhat naïve decision to agree that ‘oddkevin10’ would pick me up. Hold the lecture; I know it’s not a good idea to tell a complete stranger where you live, but alas my gut feeling was telling me to live a little. Besides, I was a bit low on the old petrol and had no idea which restaurant we were going to.

My phone went off again.

“Come out. I’m outside.”

“Be there in a jiffy.”

Yep, that seemed like an acceptable response as I took the last swig of my sav, an essential part of my night if I wanted to come out alive at the end of this. If it all turns to crap, at least I’ll be a little drunk on this first date. I recognised his car and opened the door. I didn’t get a good look at him as I shook his hand, but could see he looked like he did in his photos, maybe a little more beard and a little less height. Not to worry. Before meeting him I had toyed with some funny first lines I could say to him to break the ice, a casual: “Hi, I’m Selena. Aren’t you glad I’m not a balding middle age man?”

Unfortunately for me, Odd Kevin beat me to it. I asked him where we going for dinner.

“Oh, we’re not going to dinner. I thought we would go somewhere else.”

My heart jumped a bit and I let out a polite, but slightly worried laugh.

“Oh, ok where are we going?”.

He turned to me and said seriously, “I’ve got a shovel and a box in the boot, thought we’d take a trip to the woods”.

Now put yourself in my situation. On hearing this, would you: a) Punch this guy in the face. b) Run for the hills, or c) Sit there in silence wondering if this guy was for real.

As much as I would have liked to do option a, he laughed and said he was only joking, the restaurant was booked for 8pm. Why the hell would you say something like that?

“What the fuck man, you don’t say shit like that when you first meet someone.” I was beginning to regret my decision to meet up with this guy.

What a dick. I could see how he thought it might have been a good way to break the ice and to poke fun at the whole situation. But I was already on edge and that just made it worse.

The night wasn’t a complete disaster. The food was great (had pasta).

It seems to me Odd Kevin wanted more of a companion/listener than a potential partner. He shared A LOT of deep stuff on that to be honest, freaked me out a bit. But I’m not here to write about his faults nor to bag on him as he was just as nervous as I was. It was an experience all right from being very nervous to the thought of being chopped up into little pieces and sprinkled in the woods. What a night. Back to the drawing board…and the sav.

Dear Agony Aunt I’m fat. I know I’m fat and no matter how many times people tell me I’m not I still don’t believe them. I am soooooo miserable because no matter how I feel I still eat loads of food that I know is really bad for me. Please help me I hate myself and just want to be happy.

From Big Fat Person

Dear Agony Aunt I can’t get to sleep and its driving me crazy. I feel so tired all the time and I have no energy to go out with friends, exercise or to study. I have tried everything I can think of but nothing seems to work. I feel like a zombie.

From Not so sleepy

Dear “Big Fat Person”

Not being able to get to sleep can turn into a bit of a vicious cycle. The more trouble you have, the more you worry about it, the harder it is to get to sleep and stay asleep. Worry makes sleep problems worse and you can cope with surprisingly small amounts of sleep. Try going to bed at the same time every night, sometimes establishing a routine helps. Don’t drink energy drinks or coffee before bedtime as these are full of caffeine and sugar and will keep you awake. Make sure you have had some exercise during the day – a 30 minute brisk walk will do. When you get to bed don’t “clock-watch” and try to focus your mind on relaxing images. If these hints don’t work for you then you could book to see a counsellor at Health Counselling and Wellbeing. They have lots of great ideas to help you reduce your stress levels and can help you work out some strategies to deal with the hassle of not sleeping.

I have no idea how big you are or how tall you are, or whether you’re male, female, black or white. Those things don’t really matter; what matters is the way you are feeling and you sound very lonely and scared. It is possible to be happy and you can work toward this. Please come and see a counsellor at Health Counselling and Wellbeing and talk things through. Give it a go; they might be able to help. If you don’t want to do this tell a close friend how you are feeling and get some support. They can come with you if this makes you feel better. If you can’t handle a face to face consultation you can access counselling online at www.aut.ac.nz .

Dear Not so sleepy

by Jared Let’s face it, there’s heaps of shit to make fun of white people about. Never before has a website summed up this hilarity like stuffwhitepeoplelike.com.

This website is brilliant, and the guy that writes is all, Chris Lander, does a really good job of it. You can tell he’s white too, because some of the stuff on there he could only know from experience. As a concept, stuff white people like may seem racist. Wrong, because it is all true. I strongly suggest that you add it to your list of “websites to look at when I’m too lazy to do anything”.

The following is an example of some of the things that fair skinned folk can’t get enough of, in the form of my favourite extracts from the site. I have found that the examples which contain the most truth relate to the typical white person that is probably living with his/her partner in Ponsonby/Grey Lynn/Mt Eden, making a decent amount of money, drinks overpriced beer and has an iPad. Stereotype much? #13 Tea The history of tea dates back many thousands of years, probably before white people even existed. Despite that, and because of the British Empire, I would say that 90 per cent of white people like tea. “And now people are into Green Tea, Chamomile, Chai, White Tea, Red Tea, Jasmine Tea, Oolong Tea, Black Tea, Orange Pekoe, and other specialty blends. They are even opening stores and websites devoted to sending white people all sorts of tea” (utopiantea.com is a good one). issue 18 AUG 2010

#133 The World Cup While the Football World Cup is now gone, it is important to understand the role that it played in the lives of white people. “White people like the World Cup because it allows them to pretend they are European for a few weeks, and more importantly, it allows them to get drunk at odd hours”.

This is especially true in New Zealand, where most white people are two or three generations away from being actual Europeans. Despite this, white people will buy a $200 football jersey because they are 1/32nd Italian. Then they’ll learn Italian. #120 Taking A Year Off If you’re a white person, you know this one’s true because right now, at this very moment, you wish that you were taking a year off. White people only travel for two kinds of places: America and Europe to broaden their skills as a white person, and third world countries to become more spiritual and in tune with the earth (or to help other people who aren’t as rich as them). “Regardless of how a white person chooses to spend their year off, they all share the same goal of becoming more interesting to other people.

Sadly, the people who find these stories interesting are other white people who are politely listening until they can tell their own, more interesting story about taking a year off.”

25

ARIES (March 21-April 19) words by

Tenani French

ILLustrations

Samantha M

by

cSkimming

There’s a high chance that you’ll encounter someone who likes Evanescence this week. Be patient, for God loves us all.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Your week is all about balance. Eat more pizza, drink more water.

The return of Kanye West

Self-worshipping Kanye West took a little break from the public eye after his embarrassing and assholish outburst at last year’s MTV Video Music Awards.

Now he’s back with new single Power off his forthcoming fifth album Dark Twisted Fantasy. It’s an apology but one done in classic Kanye West style, at once sincere (“I’m an asshole”) as well as provocative (“I know damn well y’all feeling this shit, I don’t need your pussy bitch, I’m on my own dick”). It’s like he’s saying, yeah I’m sorry for being a prick, and I’m gonna change, but I really am that awesome. Defiant lyrics like “Screams from the haters, got a nice ring to it, I guess every superhero needs his theme music” illustrate just how much of a meltdown Kanye is having, but boy does he meltdown with style.

GEMINI (May 21-June 21) Just because last week was shitty doesn’t mean more bad luck is on the way. Turn the tables on life by starting up a dancing troupe.

CANCER (June 22-July 22) Climb more trees. Happiness is about finding your inner child. While you’re up there, try writing poems.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) This week a pertinent question will come to the fore: Are you really checking your Facebook enough?

Dryers

You know, those awesome white boxes you shove all your clothes in and they come out nice and warm and dry? Yeah, I live in a flat without one, and let me just say that living in a damp flat, in the middle of winter, with certain clothing requirements sucks balls. I grew up with a dryer, I didn’t think they were a dime a dozen, and I really didn’t think not having one would be a big deal but look at me, I’m a mess. I’m writing a paragraph about how much I miss having a dryer. I remember getting my school uniform out of the dryer before school and having it still warm on my skin was just the best start to the day. SOMEONE GIVE ME A DRYER! End rant.

Jersey Shore Big Night Out

You really can’t help but have heard about Jersey Shore. It’s MTV’s latest creation and follows in the footsteps of Laguna Beach and Newport Harbour, but this time mixes it up a bit by following a bunch of drunk, slutty Italian-Americans obsessing over spray tans and who’s wearing the least amount of clothing. The pop culture phenomenon returns this September and this time the premiere is on the big screen thanks to MTV and Event Cinemas. Apparently if you go to this special screening you get something called a ‘Snooki’s Nooki Cocktail’... sounds delicious.

AUT websites

Can we please just have one website that we log in to and does everything? I hate logging in to AUT Online then having to enter my password again for Arion, AUT Webmail, MyFiles, Lab Booking and Internet/Printing Top Up. It’s pretty ridiculous for a university with technology in its name. How about we merge everything together and have some online services that don’t feel like they were created in some kid’s basement back in the 90s. The AUT Online re-launch is a good start, but we’ve got miles to go before AUT’s websites are user friendly.

If there’s something you think the student masses of AUT need to know about, send us an email to debate@aut.ac.nz with Suggestions in the subject line.

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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) You may be short of fun activities over the next seven days. Find your old primary/intermediate school photos and Facebook stalk all the people in them.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) Microsoft Office will be the bane of your life this week. This is no excuse to get an iPad. There is no excuse.

SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) The planetary alignment suggests your moodiness will increase dramatically over the next week. It might be best to stay inside.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) When you’re feeling down this week, remember: That that is, is; that that is not, is not; that that is is not that that is not.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Your friends will appreciate you more if you start baking. Cakes, cupcakes and cookies are best.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) This week you will have an urge to write a letter complaining about everything that’s wrong with your life. Send it to debate@aut.ac.nz

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Struggling for creativity? Cook up some peanut butter and dip bananas in it. Enjoy with a glass of milk.

F

or anyone interested in fashion, I have found the Japanese fashion scene to be an actual goldmine of inspiration and influence. Long have the fashion capitals of Paris, New York, London and Milan been held in such high esteem by the fashionable world. But the people of Japan, especially Toyko, embrace fashion in their everyday lives like no other place on earth.

In Japan, the trends tend to change at lightning speed. At the moment it appears to be a rockabilly/punk style. A month or so ago, it was cowboy/cowgirl. Two months ago it was a dominatrix/punk style. That is not to say that all fashion conscious people will be dressing this way; there are so many cultures, and sub-cultures involved in fashion in Japan. I think the traditional emphasis on ceremonial dress and style has evolved into a unique culture that can only exist within Japanese fashion.

Fashion, having gone down a completely different track to the traditional Japanese style aesthetics of tranquillity and simplicity, these styles take fashion to a new level of personal expression and self promotion.

Unlike fashion in New Zealand, many style conscious Japanese ‘live to dress’ and not the other way around. A lot of the time their personal identity and where they fit in socially, appears to hinge on their style of dress.

Quite often you will see groups of young people in the Harajuku or Shibuya district all dressed in a similar manner. My immediate response to some of these extreme styles of dress is “why on earth would you leave the house dressed like that”? But obviously fashion is so much more of a ‘statement’ there. I even saw some fashionably decorated ‘swine flu’ masks.

If you were to walk through the Harajuku district, and ask someone in which style they were dressed, more often than not they could tell you exactly where they fit in style wise. Here are a few distinct styles that stood out to me:

Traditional Fusion

Japan first began to emulate western style of dress in the late 19th century. However, the traditional style has never left Japanese fashion completely.

The kimono, geta (wooden platform sandal), tabi (socks) and wasaga (Japanese umbrella) still find their place in fashion today. Ex-AUT fashion student Minami Kinjo (now working in fashion in Tokyo) explained that: “Infusion is a word that would accurately describe Japanese fashion. People fuse all sorts of different looks and accessories into their everyday clothing including past and present styles. It’s fashionable and keeps a little bit of their heritage close to them”.

Lolita

Most people know this style quite well and it seems to be one of the more popular styles. It can be divided into many different sub-styles such as gothic lolita (self explanatory), sweet lolita (slightly more pink and childish version), issue 18 AUG 2010

and Wa Lolita (combines in traditional Japanese dress elements). The main point of Lolita style is to dress ‘cute’ and ‘beautiful’ in Victorian or Rococo period style. They attempt to emulate the appearance of a porcelain doll as a reaction against sexuality and scantily clad western fashion.

Mori Girl (forest girl)

This term describes a girl who appears to have come from the forest rather than the city. I don’t know what the forests are like in Japan, but these girls don’t match my idea of what someone should look like if they came from the forest (covered in dirt and leaves, twigs in their hair, ripped clothes, swandri etc). It seems to be a more romanticised, idyllic version of a forest dweller. Their clothing consists of long flowy dresses, pale colours, and vintage prints and accessories, sometimes even a bonnet thrown in.

Decora Style

Short for ‘decoration’, decora is a cute or ‘kawaii’ style. This style consists of a lot of neon pink and black styling, a lot of layering (ie three pairs of socks at once), and plastic toys and bows in your hair. Quite often you will see these girls wearing Hello Kitty or Pokémon accessories. This style often comes with a punk, “fuck-you” attitude to contrast the girly clothes.

Spank/Fairy-kei

Closely related to decora style but with a girly 80s fashion throwback. Think of Jem and the Holograms with pink hair and glittery pastel colours. Even the guys get amongst this action (often in a leather jacket or pastel cardigan with skinny jeans tucked into retro high tops). Motifs often include Pac man, My Little Ponies, Care bears, Troll Dolls and Cyndi Lauper.

Basically anything with an 80s pop reference.

Upon closer inspection, Japanese style – while a crazy mix of quirky and eclectic – has a lot more going on behind the scenes that at first glance.

While I would never dress to such extremities myself, I have to admire their ironic take on fashion and personal style.

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Paris Mitchell

Bachelor of Fashion Design Beret and Gumboots: From Europe Jacket: vintage Vest: Karen Walker Skirt: Karen Walker

Lovella Huang

Paige

Shoes: Doc Martins Dress: Glassons Jacket: Made Myself Red Knit and stockings: From mum

T-shirt: vintage Scarf: customised Jeans: Area 51, customised Shoes: Can’t remember

Bachelor of Design

International Student Support Service is moving.

International Student Support Service (ISSS) at City Campus is re-locating from WU014 to WB135 (off Hikuwai Plaza) on Thursday 26 August. ISSS will re-open on Monday 30 August.

WU

hikuwai plaza

WB

For more information, visit our website: www.aut.ac.nz/student_services/international 28

Photography (1st Year)

Scott Pilgrim vs The World Directed by Edgar Wright Film review by Samantha McQueen

Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty Big Boi Album Review by Mike Atkins

In a summer filled with sequels and remakes,

Scott Pilgrim vs The World is a much-needed gulp of fresh air. Director Edgar Wright (Hot Fuzz, Shaun of the Dead) has nailed an almost perfect movie combo, with high-speed camera cuts that leave your head spinning, comicbook style fighting graphics and enough gaming references to satiate even the biggest pop culture geek (even the Universal logo gets a makeover).

Based on Bryan Lee O’Malley’s six-part graphic novel, Michael Cera (Juno, Superbad) is Scott Pilgrim, a geeky 22-year-old who lives in a tiny “lair” with his gay roommate (Kieran Culkin) and plays bass in the band, Sex Bom-Omb. Still nursing wounds from when his girlfriend (the now famous rock star Envy Adams) kicked his heart in the ass a year ago, he tries to mend them through Knives Chau (Ellen Wong), a 17-year-old schoolgirl. However, when he meets Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), the roller skating Amazon delivery girl, at a party, he’s determined to be with her.

What quickly becomes apparent though is that Scott is not the only one with baggage in the closet; except Ramona’s baggage – seven evil exes to be exact – are determined to fight Scott to the death before he can truly be with her. The exes start off with her junior high crush (Satya Bhabha) and end with music mogul Gideon (Jason Schwartzman), with a movie action hero (Chris Evans), a power vegan (Brandon Routh), a feisty girl (Mae Whitman) and Japanese twins (Keita and Shota Saito) thrown in between.

The storyline sounds far-fetched, but Wright has expertly crafted it so that it’s like reality. Seeing Scott grabbing a life that’s popped up on screen seems just as normal as having no blood or bruises appear if you’re punched square in the face, or having enemies dissolve into coins once they’ve been defeated. It also skirts around an R-rating. All the characters are cleverly explained – and there’s a lot of them – but while you’re head may be spinning, it’s more likely to be from the rapid changes in location as opposed to the exes’ back stories.

Cera’s hilariously dorky portrayal of Scott is not unlike what audiences have seen from him in both Juno and Superbad. However, this role was made was Cera. His awkward self-consciousness (particularly about the length of his hair) is a character in itself, and his deadpan comedic delivery really leaves the crowd in stitches. Audiences also get to see him in one of the unlikeliest roles; the action hero, which is both hilarious and beautifully choreographed (look out for the vegan police!). His interactions with Winstead really make you believe she is as intimidating as she looks, but it’s his scenes with Culkin that are the winners on the night. In fact, every minute Culkin is on screen he steals it away from his other co-stars, from listening in on Scott’s phone conversations, to making out with Scott’s sister’s (Twilight’s Anna Kendrick) boyfriend mere metres from her.

At almost two hours long, it’s a tad long, but it makes up for it with pop culture references and a killer soundtrack (Sex Bob-Omb’s songs were provided by Beck). Part comic book, part teenage love story, part action film, Scott Pilgrim vs the World is one movie that audiences will be lining up to geek out on. issue 18 AUG 2010

Fans of OutKast always seemed inordinately

obsessed with speculating about which parts of their sound belonged to Andre 3000, and which belonged to Big Boi. 3000’s half of their split double album Speakerboxx and The Love Below had more singles, and 3000 looks like Prince’s creepy uncle, so it was always assumed that 3000 was responsible for all the weirdness, and Big Boi was just another rapper.

That’s a reasonable assumption given the evidence (including this disc), but it neglects the fact that almost everything else that Outkast did together (even Idlewild) was better than Speakerboxx and The Love Below. Outkast were never as good as when 3000 and Big Boi were working in harmony, so evidently Big Boi has a lot to offer.

And everything he has to offer is on show here. Every single strength, and every single weakness. His love of hip-hop histrionics, His lyrical perfectionism, his reliance on forgettably smooth RnB crooners for choruses, his ear for unassuming, but wormy beats, and great melodic samples. The effect is that it does sound like half of an OutKast album, but doubled-up, so that it in no way sounds lacking.

What fueled that speculation about Outkast was that 3000 and Big Boi always did project such different personalities, and that’s what made the combination of them so exhilarating. From that Big Boi knows a little something about delegation. The disc features a lot of collaborations, even for a rap album. But before you even get to those, there’s all the samples. The single Shutterbug alone samples Gorillaz, and Soul II Soul. What we have here is a horror show phantasmagoria of beats and samples, in which, much like in an Outkast album, Big Boi only feels like one element. And it’s an element we only know through faith and experience is a controlling one.

I seem to remember a rhyme from Big Boi’s half of Speakerboxx where he rubbished rumours that he and 3000 were on the outs. If those rumours were true, you’d think, Big Boi would be trying to define himself as a solo artist. In that respect this disc is more proof that the stories of Outkast’s demise have been exaggerated. Not only is Big Boi not all that bothered with putting his own voice out there (any more than he had done before), he’s more interested in having fun, than he is in making any bold moves. There’s a few tracks, like Follow Us, where he grandstands, but it’s just those hip-hop histrionics – bravado for the sake of it; and it’s only slightly less fun than the rest of it. Mostly he’s just interested in heavy beats and saying disgusting things to women (who in a mostly audience guilt assuaging move say some impressively disgusting things back). It’s better than the alternative, a man in a more serious move may have baulked at sampling The Battle Hymn Of The Republic, while slowing it down, and speeding it by yelling at the chanting chorus “slow down, nigga.../Yeah.../Now speed it up like the ballad of Ricky Bobby”.

There’s also an ad for Big Boi’s brother’s dog kennel inside of the back cover. So if you’re ever in Fayetteville, Georgia, and you need a place to put your dog while you’re away, you know where to go.

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Step Up 3D Directed by John Chu Movie Review by Tenani French

It’s important to remember that, when seeing a

dance movie, no one really cares that much about the storyline or acting; you know, things that usually make or break a movie. Dance movies have this strange ability to be immune to these critiques because the only reason they’re made is for the big flashy dance sequences. On this count, Step Up 3D delivers.

In the third instalment to the ever-popular dance series, Step Up 2 cast member Moose (Adam G Sevani) takes one of the lead roles. Having made the move to Brooklyn to attend New York University, he’s left the dance world behind to focus on his studies. However, he finds himself sucked back in after a street-dance battle which Luke (Rick Malambari) – leader of the dance crew, The Pirates, happens to see.

It’s all sounding rather familiar. A group of kids (The Pirates) find some reason to dance (in this case, it’s to save the converted warehouse which they have all been living together in), which leads to a street dance contest, where the grand prize is $100,000 (how convenient). Chuck in some budding romance and a couple of twists you saw coming a mile off, and you’ve got the same plot line as the other predecessors.

The creators made a nice touch by connecting this film to the previous one by having the main character continue through, and made an even more ingenious decision to get the dance crew from the second film back to join the dance crew of the third one. In a world of dance-offs and crew loyalty it’s interesting to see two very different love stories play out, complete with cheesy dialogue and perfectly lit kiss scenes. Dialogue and plot aside this is a film about dance, and whether kicking around dust or splashing water into the camera lens (3D rules!) you’re bound to be mesmerised by the dance sequences themselves. The setting for each of the dance sequences remains the same, except perhaps for a brilliantly performed musical sequence along a New York street, Chaplin-style. Very pleasing on the eye. As is this whole movie. For all of its cinematic shortcomings it’s nice to watch, shots are interestingly framed and creatively coloured. This is where the use of 3D comes in, the extra dimension enriches the audience’s experience of the dancing, instead of distracting them from it.

There’s really not much to say about this movie. If you liked the other Step Up films you’ll like this one and the added 3D effect actually (for once) makes the movie better. I think we’ve finally found a genre that is better in 3D, the dancing is more in your face, more energetic and, if possible, more impressive.

I believe a movie has succeeded if it compels you to do something after you see it, and in the case of Step Up 3D that would be dancing. The audience literally left the theatre dancing, having obviously enjoyed themselves. This movie is critic-proof, and you probably already know if you want to see it or not.

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/\/\ /\ Y /\ MIA

CD Review by Tenani French

MIA is some kind of monster. Going from relative

obscurity to worldwide fame following Paper Planes’ inclusion on the Oscar-winning Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack, MIA is not for the faint of heart. Although not everyone’s cup of tea, she represents a new breed of pop star. Instead of going for the tried and true pop song formula she opts instead to use sound effects and other atmospheric noise to create beats and melodies heavy with authenticity and real world charm.

Sounds used emphasise the message behind the song, and boy is there a message. MIA describes this album as evoking “digital ruckus” and touches on themes of technology and life in the digital age. From illegal downloading to obsessions with Twitter, /\/\ /\ Y /\ is a portrait of life in 2010 and a concerned essay on a world heading toward total digital reliance.

The album starts off with a few key strokes, and a fast paced explanation of how the keyboard is connected to the Google, which is connected to the iPhone, which is connected to the internet, which is connected to the government. Not technically accurate but it sets the tone of the album. The theme is continued on tracks like Internet Connection and Caps Lock. MIA has described the album as encouraging young people to look further than Google for answers, arguing that the next generation will rely on alternative news sources to ascertain the truth. The idea of increasing government control of the online world we so heavily rely on today is continued with the thundering Born Free. Released as a buzz track to the album Born Free came with a controversial music video depicting a Nazi-style roundup of redheads ending in a brutal brawl. Ironically given the subject nature of the album the video was removed from YouTube and censored on most websites.

XXXO is the first official single and with a strong beat and sugary-sweet vocals is definitely the most commercially accessible song from the album, even if it touches on forced sexuality and commercial pressures for young girls to “put out”. My personal favourite from the album is Teqkilla, featuring an extended metaphor in which each brand of alcohol represents past loves, the track sets off at a break-neck pace and doesn’t ease up. Definitely one of MIA’s most cleverly crafted raps to date.

If you are expecting club-banging pop tunes you will be disappointed.

MIA has gone in a new direction, introducing new sounds and influenced by her many collaborations since her last album. Lyrics are simple and repetitive and intoxicating all at once. Although not typical club-bangers, the album is full of tracks you will lose track of time in. It’s a mix mash of different styles and approaches but together as one piece of work it’s actually rather brilliant.

Definitely worth a listen, even for those who won’t like her, you can’t help but appreciate the creativity and expression present in /\/\ /\ Y /\. MIA definitely sticks to her guns and, although divisive, makes music the way she wants to.

Grease: Live on Stage Live at the Civic Theatre, until August 22 Theatre Review by Tenani French

Together The New Pornographers Album Review by Mike Atkins

It’s hard not to compare this production to

a movie so engrained in my memory but I went to Grease: Live on Stage with an open mind. And it blew my mind open even further.

As the excitement reached fever-pitch in the audience and the lights went down to signify the start of the show I can’t imagine a more excited cast on opening night. Out they came with the rocking titular song and I quickly realised just how much fun this show would be.

There’s something hugely rewarding about seeing a stage musical where you already know every song. Thanks to TVNZ for those endless screenings of Grease in my childhood, they really paid off. By the time Summer Lovin’ came around I was in musical heaven and not even the slightly lack-luster performance of Greased Lightning could dampen my mood. An outstanding rendition of We Go Together ended the first act on a high and the mood at the bar outside was positively buzzing. It’s rare to find a show so popular with so many different types of people. Grandfathers were there with their grandkids, couples were on dates, and even a senior citizen’s dance club complete with matching Pink Ladies jackets were present as the chimes went off and everyone headed back in for the second act.

After a sweetly slow beginning with It’s Rainin’ On Prom Night, the show turned it up a notch with Born to Hand-Jive and the ever-popular character Vince Fontaine. The show’s international cast feature South Africans Jonathan Roxmouth and Bethany Dickson as Danny and Sandy respectively, and both manage to hold their own against John Travolta and Olivia NewtonJohn. A surprisingly rousing performance of Beauty School Dropout had the crowd on its feet for a standing ovation and left me wondering why the movie didn’t deliver these kind of kicks. Our Sandy was sweet and had the pipes to get through songs like Hopelessly Devoted To You, but unfortunately, she couldn’t quite make the vocal change when good girl Sandy turns into spandex-wearing psudo-slut Sandy. It was like she ran out of puff just before You’re The One That I Want (my favourite Grease song).

This show is a tightly run ship, everything was shiny and immaculate, the set was impressive and the choreography like clockwork. The cast brought a new energy to a very familiar story and the songs are just as timeless and singalongable (new word right there) as ever. I’m surprised it’s taken me this long to see this stage show but I’m definitely not complaining, it was a pleasure to watch and a joy to experience.

issue 18 AUG 2010

If indie rock is accused of being dour, or

obscurest, it’s only got itself to blame; but good luck trying to explain that to it. Indie rock suffers from what I like to call Mint Chicks syndrome. That’s where they poppier those musicians think they sound, the more obscure they sound to everyone else, and often viceversa. Examples of the vice-versa, are rarer than the former, but The New Pornographers are an example of that. They make beautiful, accessable pop songs, which I suspect they thought were rather obscure.

Actually, that’s not fair. I’m assuming a lot to say that these guys thought mass audiences wouldn’t be amenable to lush strings harmonising energetically with chugging guitars; after all, they come together in the least jarring way possible. But, they also come together all at once. There’s nothing to ease you in to an eight-piece, indie Americana super group. (As a side note, a group with designs on being famous and successful always give you that inroad, whether they’re on their first or fifth album, because they could always do with more fans. This being TNP’s fifth album, it would be reasonable if they just assumed that their fans got used to their sound five albums ago.) It’s very poppy, that just feels like an accident.

A good example of this is a track called Valkyrie & The Roller Disco. Think about that title for a second. Who deliberately writes a pop song with that title? As the title suggests, it’s anyone’s guess what they’re on about. But everyone in the group seems to have something to do on each track, so everything has enough layers that a few weird-ass lyrics don’t detract at all from the accessibility of it.

Admittedly, that doesn’t sound like a recipe for success. If I simply said “they throw everything in, and come out with something for everyone”, you’d probably envision some sort of lowest-common-denominator mess. This is simply avoided with a masterful understanding of what does, and does not go together. Like on the track, Daughters Of Sorrow, which has a swinging Motown girl-group melody, and a guitar part that sounds like Some Girls era Keith Richards slowed down, and off course those alt-country vocals.

They’re all different things, but similar enough to go together by dint of their Americana-esque roots.

And that’s what I can’t get over. Sometimes it feels like the record was arranged by music nerds, not musicians. Not to stereotype, but people who have the understanding of pop history to make those connections tend to understand them on an intellectual level, and lack the skills to synthesise those connections into something listenable like these guys do. People who you could imagine saying “let’s do a C&W style Smiths tribute, because The Smiths sometimes used ironic country influences, which often get overlooked” are the last people who you’d imagine making something you’d want to listen to. But that track, The Crash Years, is the album’s highlight.

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e h t t Spo nce e r e f f Di Correctly identify the FIVE differences in the two photos then circle the and drop your entry into your nearest AuSM office, or the box on the side of the red debate stands, or post to debate PO Box 6116 Wellesley St before 12 pm Thursday.

What’s up for grabs? A $10 voucher for one of the cafes at your campus: the Counter, Beanz Cafe, Lime Cafe, the Hub Cafe or Manukau Cafe. Congratulations to last week’s winner, Parwana Kazim! (City campus.)

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Johanna Parker Bachelor of Applied Science & Business If you could be any superhero, who would it be?

Superman Would you rather be able to breathe underwater or fly?

Fly because then I’d be at class on time When was the last time you read a newspaper?

Yesterday What do you think of 3D films?

Really they just hurt my eyes Who is the lesser of two evils: Edward Cullen or Justin Bieber?

Edward Cullen, because he’s hot and he’s old

Hope Thompson Diploma of Travel and Tourism If you could be any superhero, who would it be?

Superman, because he can fly Would you rather be able to breathe underwater or fly?

Fly When was the last time you read a newspaper?

Does debate count?

What do you think of 3D films?

Alright, but I reckon the glasses give you a headache after a while Who is the lesser of two evils: Edward Cullen or Justin Bieber?

Edward Cullen, because he stars with Jacob

Ravi Singh Bachelor of Engineering If you could be any superhero, who would it be?

Spiderman, because I like his movies and he gets heaps of kisses Would you rather be able to breathe underwater or fly?

I think Spiderman can fly so I’d rather breathe underwater When was the last time you read a newspaper?

That’s a nice question… about a month ago What do you think of 3D films?

They’re super cool, nice to watch and you kind of feel a thrill Who is the lesser of two evils: Edward Cullen or Justin Bieber?

Justin Bieber is more evil

Doug Mitchell Diploma of Travel and Tourism If you could be any superhero, who would it be?

Superman, because I walk around like I have an ‘S’ on my chest Would you rather be able to breathe underwater or fly?

Fly When was the last time you read a newspaper?

Oooo… can’t remember What do you think of 3D films?

I haven’t seen any 3D films yet Who is the lesser of two evils: Edward Cullen or Justin Bieber?

Justin Bieber

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Christie Pope Bachelor of Fashion Design If you could be any superhero, who would it be?

Catwoman, because she can climb walls Would you rather be able to breathe underwater or fly?

Fly When was the last time you read a newspaper?

Yesterday, actually What do you think of 3D films?

I’ve never actually been to a 3D film.

They’d probably be pretty cool though Who is the lesser of two evils: Edward Cullen or Justin Bieber?

I’d go with Edward Cullen. I hate Justin Bieber

Chikara Green Bachelor of Fashion Design If you could be any superhero, who would it be?

Elasta-girl from the Incredibles because if there was a coffee over there (points to next table) I could just grab it Would you rather be able to breathe underwater or fly?

Fly, definitely When was the last time you read a newspaper?

In high school when you had to read the newspaper for school What do you think of 3D films?

They’re awesome but they are a little bit overrated Who is the lesser of two evils: Edward Cullen or Justin Bieber?

Edward Cullen. I hate Justin Bieber

issue 18 AUG 2010

35

UBS is proud to be associated with the launch of

A LONG ROAD TO PROGRESS DISPATCHES FROM A KIWI COMMANDER IN AFGHANISTAN

As Commander of the New Zealand troops in the Bamiyan Province of Afghanistan, Colonel Richard Hall gained a unique insight into the lives of Kiwi soldiers serving in a harsh climate amid daily threats, as well as into the lives of the locals.

Colonel Hall vividly and movingly recalls his experiences and explains the vision he tried to implement there on behalf of this country. He tackles the complex issues involved in an army that seeks to bring both aid and a Western way of doing things in a deeply Islamic country.

* ice Staff Pr / t n e Stud

9 9 .

5 3 $ NETT

This book offers an astute perspective on working with New Zealand troops, American soldiers, corrupt Afghani officials and intransigent aid organisations while tackling crippling poverty, insurgents attacks, impossible terrain and severe weather.

This is an important and fascinating view of New Zealand’s role in Afghanistan.

Colonel Hall is currently the head of the vice-chancellor’s department at AUT University.

AUT City Campus AUT Akoranga Campus 55 Wellesley Street East, Auckland City 90 Akoranga Drive, Northcote Tel: 366 4550 Fax: 366 4570 Tel: 489 6105 Fax: 489 7453 Email: aut.city@ubsbooks.co.nz Email: aut.akoranga@ubsbooks.co.nz Web: www.ubsbooks.co.nz Open Monday to Friday or shop securely online 24/7 36