debate issue 15, 2010

issue 15 2010 i

interview with coup de main

road rage in auckland

issue 15 June 2010

smoking in prisons debate

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Issue 15, 2010

on the cover “Ignorance”

by Hayley McGehan

editor Samantha McQueen samantha.mcqueen@aut.ac.nz designer Nonavee Dale nonavee.dale@aut.ac.nz sub editor Jared Van Huenen debate intern Jess Cann contributors Mike Atkins | Jo Barker | Nureete Burnie | Critic | Alicia Crocket | Vinny Francesco | Tenani French | Frances Gordon | Celeste Gorrell Anstiss | Gyro | Benjamin Hope | Elana Kluner | Veronica Ng Lam | Moon Lee | Anna Loren | Hayley MeGehan | Joseph Mow | Heather Rutherford | Salient | Catherine Selfe | Mystery Shopper | Tamsyn Solomon advertising contact Kate Campbell kate.campbell@aut.ac.nz

PMP Print Ltd. all rights reserved This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT AT AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY INCORPORATED (“AuSM”). Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly. Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AuSM. disclaimer Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, PMP Print or its subsidiaries.

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hen you were younger you were always asked what you wanted to be when you grew up. Professions like ballerinas, race car drivers and pop stars were far more likely than lawyers, engineers and accountants. I wanted to part of the Spice Girls before realising that a) I was way too young, b) they probably wouldn’t be around when I grew up and c) I couldn’t sing (yes, that fact came last).

When I was seven I wanted mum to make me a fin suit that would allow me to be Ariel from the Little Mermaid. Never mind that strapping my legs together would cause me to drown, and that at seven, I really shouldn’t be calling a purple clam bra “a complete outfit”. Even now I find myself daydreaming about being a spy, a flight attendant or a Disney princess, depending on the day of the week. I once caught myself fantasising that I beat Roger Federer at Wimbledon, and that was only last year!

Envy is a terrible thing. It’s one of the seven sins, along with gluttony and greed, and it makes you believe that your life is somehow inferior to everyone else’s. We know it’s bad, and we’re taught not to envy others, but sometimes you can’t help looking through someone else’s rose-tinted glasses (which also act as a cover for your green-eyed jealously). It’s not that you have a particular bad life – heck, you might have a great life – but somehow, someone’s life always seems better. It doesn’t matter if you’re that one millionth communications student, or that multi-million pop star; you’re always going to envy someone else.

It doesn’t stop at unrealistic fantasies based on things you’ve seen on television either.

You could be walking down Queen Street when you walk past someone holding the latest iPad, while decked out in designer threads. You don’t need an iPad, you don’t particularly want an iPad, but just for a moment, you’re filled with the deadly Poison Envy (I know, it’s clever, right?). I blame advertising and the fact that I’m a Generation Y kid. I’ve been brought up around 24 hour television, the internet and enough advertising to bitch slap* me into a consumerism coma. I don’t see Generation Y as a generation of digital-savvy people; I see us as a society of sponges, just soaking up every spoon-fed subliminal message and turning a nasty shade of jealous.

As a journalist, I’m exposed to many envious people. Most of the time, I can revel in their successes from a distance and go home pretty happy at what I’ve done with that story.

But ever so often I’ll come out of an interview thinking, “damn, how much do I wish I was them right now?”. I had that feeling when I interviewed the girls behind Coup De Main magazine (p. 18) a few weeks ago. They are the same age as me (and a lot of you) and they’re already closer to conquering the world than I’ll ever be. They’ve interviewed artists Iike Florence + the Machine and Kate Nash, seen Taylor Swift live (jealous!) and built an online magazine from scratch.

Sure, they’ve sacrificed sleep and probably shed a lot of tears and a drop of blood or two in the process, but I’m wearing my rose-coloured glasses and when I grow up, I want to be just like them.

Sam * Mum, if you’re reading this – sorry for the use of the word bitch slap. Twice.

RECEPTION City Campus Level 2, WC Building 921 9805 8am-5 pm Mon-Thurs 8am-3.30pm Fri North Shore Campus Level 2, AS Building 921 9949 8.30am-3pm Mon-Fri Manukau Campus MB107 921 9999 ext 6672 9am-3:30pm Mon-Thurs MANAGEMENT Sue Higgins General Manager 921 9999 ext 5111 sue.higgins@aut.ac.nz REPRESENTATION Veronica Ng Lam AuSM Student President 921 9999 ext 8571 vnglam@aut.ac.nz ADVOCACY Nick Buckby Liaison Manager 921 9999 ext 8379 nick.buckby@aut.ac.nz MARKETING Rebecca Williams Marketing Manager 921 9999 ext 8909 rebecca.williams@aut.ac.nz EVENTS Barry Smith Events Team Leader 921 9999 ext 8931 barry.smith@aut.ac.nz MEDIA Samantha McQueen Publications Co-ordinator 921 9999 ext 8774 samantha.mcqueen@aut.ac.nz SPORTS Melita Martorana Sports Team Leader 921 9999 ext 7259 melita.martorana@aut.ac.nz VESBAR Zane Chase Vesbar Manager 921 9999 ext 8378 zane.chase@aut.ac.nz

For a full list of contact details plus profiles of AuSM staff and student executive visit: www.ausm.org.nz issue 15 June 2010

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Do you consider yourself a bit of an artist?

Do you want to get your work out there for everyone to see?

Well now you can! Don’t worry if words are your paintbrush, short stories/poems are literary masterpieces are also eligible.

Email your works of art to debate@aut.ac.nz

A university girl, crosses a wet street to make it over Autumn leaves falling, I imagine a snake under the heap Cafeteria table swarmed with text books no lunch today

Shaunak Vilekar Back to Uni

Naadei Atafu Piha 6

Tamsyn Solomon Untitled Haiku

Hayley McGehan Grunge Pixels

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debate letters policy:

Letters longer than 250 words may be subject to editing. Letters are printed as they are received – spelling and grammar will not be corrected. All letters must be in before 12pm Wednesday.

The editor reserves the right to decline letters without explanation. the views contained on the letters page do not necessarily represent the views of AuSM. Send your letters to PO Box 6116, Wellesley St or debate@aut.ac.nz

want more! Send Yay, we got mail! But we magazine. What us your thoughts on the university? What is grinding your gears at of? tell us your do you want to see more k will win two thoughts! Letter of the wee Cinemas! movie tickets for SkYcItY

LETTER OF THE WEEK: Dear Sam, I love reading your editorials first thing on a Monday morning, I noticed you changed your hair colour BTW it looks cute. I totally agreed with your last editorial, I hate being labeled *poor* and *lazy* just because I*m a student. I feel like yelling *goddammit! I*m working as much as I can part time here and studying every night!* Thanks for bringing it to everyone*s attention that these are stereotypes and are not necessarily true, I wish the mass media would stop degrading students with these insults.

Mandy

Dear Editor, Wow. I just realised that debate magazine is now available online! I think this is a great move as I am always trying to be environmentally conscious and now I don’t have to worry about what to do when I’ve finished reading. Now I can read debate on my laptop in lectures without the lecturer knowing! Thanks AuSM for doing your bit for the environment.

Sup debate I read debate every week during lectures and Jared’s sports pieces always crack me up. I’m not a big sports fan, but the sports section is the first thing I turn (followed by horoscopes … I haven’t been shat on by a bird yet). Jared bro, you should totally be on the crowd goes wild, those guys are funny as. Please keep writing funny shit, ok?

Chur

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The successful applicants are chosen by editors and editorial leaders throughout Fairfax after they prioritise the Fairfax Media organisations they would like to work for. After undergoing exceptional training at one of our five preferred journalism schools – the University of Canterbury, Massey University, Wellington, the Waikato Institute of Technology (Wintec), Aoraki Polytechnic, Timaru, and the Auckland University of

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Technology (AUT) – interns join their chosen newspaper or website.

We will reimburse the fees of those who pass and provide challenging work afterwards in our newsrooms. As well, we provide ongoing training and opportunities to advance.

We are seeking highly motivated people from all walks of life to join us.

A relevant tertiary qualification is preferred but we will consider candidates who have minimum qualifications of NCEA Level 3 or the relevant life skills.

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Students forced to fork out for further study Angela Mabey, Salient Some future doctors and those seeking a higher education will be forced to fund some of their own studies after changes made to the Student Loan Scheme earlier this year.

In an exclusive statement to Salient, Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce admitted the changes made to the Loan Scheme in Budget 2010 will mean some students will not have access to student loans to cover their final years of study.

The loan scheme restructure means students who complete a double degree and honours will likely need to fund any Masters study out of their own pocket, but may then be able to access funding for Doctorate study.

The loan changes also mean students who complete a degree prior to entering medical school will have to fund their last years without a student loan.

A lifetime limit on access to the Student Loan Scheme was introduced in Budget 2010. The limit for undergraduate study is 7 EFTS (Equivalent Full Time Student), with a further 1 EFTS allowed for postgraduate study and 3 EFTS for doctoral study. A full-time student studies between 0.8 and 1.4 EFTS a year. The EFTS count includes all study a student had a Student Loan for from 1 January 2010.

Joyce says policy changes “could be” considered.

issue 15 June 2010

“There are currently no additional exemptions to the lifetime limit for specific programmes of study or multiple degrees.

“However, if some programmes of study (such as medicine) turn out to be disproportionately affected by this policy, consideration could be given as to whether additional EFTS should be allocated to those programmes.”

Joyce says the changes to the scheme are “intended to encourage students to make wise choices about their study” and “take the most direct route through their studies in order to ensure they have sufficient entitlement to a student loan”.

Medical students wanting to complete Masters study will have access to the additional allowances to fund further study.

Other Masters students will not be as fortunate.

A student completing a double degree (for example Law and Arts) needs approximately 6 EFTS to complete their studies. If the student wants to do Honours and Masters, the current policy means that a student may not have any access to funding for their Masters.

Victoria University law student Nick Chapman says the government needs to ensure their attempts to regulate student funding do not adversely affect students working towards higher learning.

“Obviously there is a real danger that you will push

students away from academia by making it difficult for them to fund their postgraduate study,” he says.

“From a law perspective in particular, this coupled with the disparity in pay which already exists between someone working in a commercial law firm and someone researching, publishing and teaching, it presents a real risk to the number and quality of academics our universities produce.

“In effect, people will be paying more to qualify for a profession where they will be paid less.”

New Zealand Medical Students’ Association president Liz Carr says the changes are disappointing and “don’t make any sense”.

“It seems like such a badly planned idea. This is a sure way to lose students. We are trying to train and retain young doctors in New Zealand, and the loan scheme was one of the ways to help this.

“If students have to fund their own studies, then graduate students might seriously consider looking at studying in Australian post-graduate medical schools.

“Completing a degree prior to entering medical school is a common and encouraged way of entering medical school.

“If the government is trying to discourage postgraduate students from moving into medicine, then this is the perfect way to do it.”

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Joyce shows up at Vic, says some stuff, suggests some changes

by Sarah Robson, Salient Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce has signaled that the academic performance of universities and other tertiary education institutions, and how well they prepare students for life after study, will play a more important role in determining levels of funding.

Joyce signaled that over the next two years, tertiary providers will move to a system where funding is “based on how well they perform academically by preparing their students for life after study”.

Initially, a maximum of five per cent of funding will be performance-based.

“Ultimately, I want to see funding linked to employment outcomes, not just internal benchmarks,” Joyce told the audience, which included Victoria University Vice-Chancellor Pat Walsh, Otago University Vice-Chancellor David Skegg and other key stakeholders in the tertiary education sector.

“This will send a strong signal to students about which qualifications and which institutions offer the best career prospects—and that’s what tertiary education has got to be about.”

Victoria University Vice-Chancellor Pat Walsh said there is merit in considering funding being

linked to employment outcomes.

“I feel very confident from the graduate outcome surveys we undertake that our students go on to be useful and productive members of society,” he said.

“There will need to be discussion to be had about exactly how we would do it, but the general principle is not an issue.”

Joyce said the government is committed to “incentivising educational performance” and providing students with adequate information to inform their decisions surrounding tertiary study.

The Tertiary Education Commission (TEC) is about to begin regularly publishing online performance information for tertiary education institutions.

“This information, along with what’s already out there, will empower students’ decisions with the best possible information about course quality, cost, academic requirements and the likely impact on future career prospects,” Joyce said.

New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations Co-President David Do says the information needs to be relevant to students.

“It can’t just be targeted at what the ‘average student’ would want to know, otherwise it runs the risk of only catering to a certain group, and

Do Does Dunnas

by Rory MacDonald Re-O Week might be big in Otago, but maybe the real party happened the week before, as OUSA and the University of Otago hosted the New Zealand University Students Association (NZUSA).

Delegates from around Aotearoa came to Otago to discuss issues pertinent to their mandate and listen to a number of speakers, including Tertiary Education Union secretary Sharn Riggs and Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce.

The most dramatic moment of the conference came with a bizarre outburst from Otago Polytechnic Students Association President Meegan Cloughley who appeared to pull the association out of NZUSA, believing they did not care about issues she has raised.

Despite this, NZUSA coPresident David Do said the conference had some very clear goals, and was happy with the way the conference went.

“Our conferences bring student representatives from all around the country. Our conferences aim to help reps understand current issues in the tertiary education sector, provide information and training

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to help reps do the best job they can as a student representative, and give reps the skills to take on the current challenges affecting their students.”

2010 has been a particularly tough year for NZUSA, with the Education (Freedom of Association) Amendment Bill hanging over the heads of the association and its members.

“We are midway through what has already been a challenging year for the student movement.”

However despite the difficult times, Do remains resolute.

“National student representation has had a long proud history of over 80 years, and we are committed to keep working hard for students into the future…NZUSA and student associations have worked hard since the end of January conference, with fantastic success of the Save Our Services campaign in getting over 4500 submissions against the VSM bill, being a strong voice for students in government policy and in the public arena, and continuing to do what local associations do best, supporting and advocating for students at a local campus level.”

potentially only those who are already well represented in higher education,” he said.

“Information would also have to be simple enough so that students will actually use it, but complex enough so that it doesn’t create perverse outcomes.

“The educational performance measures— course and qualification completion, retention and progression, are relatively crude measures of what constitutes ‘quality teaching and learning’. They can only paint a basic picture of quality teaching and learning and don’t at all address the reasons behind why some students drop out of education.”

Joyce acknowledged in his speech that increased demand for tertiary education, in part caused by the economic recession, has prompted some universities to restrict enrolments.

However, extra funding for the tertiary education sector is not on the horizon.

“It is highly unlikely that there will be any significant cash injections in the foreseeable future,” Joyce said.

LeBron James is a whore

by Jared Van Huenen

We don’t get much coverage of American sport on our TV screens. ESPN is our only portal and, at this time of the year, it’s pretty much just baseball. Yuck. Despite this estranged television relationship, the internet manages to ensure that we’re not left in the dark when it comes to all things yank. The Americans’ love of money and scandal tied in perfectly with their disinterest in football over the last month to create a real drama in the NBA. And what a drama it was.

I think basketball is one of those sports that you can only really appreciate if you play it/have played it. Because of that, whenever something happens off the court, a lot of people become interested.

I don’t think I need to remind you of the exploits of a certain Mr Bryant. Before you say it, I know LeBron James isn’t a rapist (but hey, neither is Kobe...right?). What I will say about the self-titled “King James” is that his particular media circus was, for the most part, the result of his own narcissistic tendency to scream his own name from the rooftops and then spit on everyone with his faux-modesty and disingenuous humility when they ask him what all the fuss is about.

To sum up the happenings of the last month, LeBron James (the best basketball player in the NBA) and his hometown Cleveland Cavaliers failed to make the finals of the NBA Championships, and James was not happy. He wanted to win, and fair enough. And so, as the season came to an end, every sports caster in the States wanted to know where he was going to play next season. It became the lead story in every ESPN news update; they had special shows where all they did was talk about him. Made me sick.

I think the saddest part of the whole ordeal is that Cleveland fans actually thought LeBron was going to stay there. I still can’t believe they had a ‘LeBron Appreciation Day’ last month where 8500 idiot fans turned up to drink beers, wear LeBron masks and jerk each other off. That didn’t really happen, but it may as well have because like a knight in shining armour, Mr James turned up (late of course), made a speech, and everyone had a faaaabulous time. And then he quit.

July 8 was the day. James was the focus of a show on ESPN (his idea) where he was to announce to the millions where he would play.

In an NBA first, and in probably one of the most cowardly, asshole moves ever, LeBron didn’t tell Cleveland management or fans where he was going beforehand. To build hype or some shit. And so Miami was the word.

The official line was that LeBron wanted to win a championship, and that his best chance of doing so was at the Heat. With Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh, two of the other best players in the NBA. Michael Jordan pretty much called him a fag for joining up with awesome players, and not wanting to beat them...like they did in his day. I’ll call him a dickhead for quitting on his home town and then bitch slapping them while he cheated on them.

Interestingly, a rumour started in 2008 that this exact thing would

issue 15 June 2010

happen (all the good players became best mates at the Olympics and supposedly made a pact). As Bill Simmons from ESPN.com put it – “You know, like one of those pacts in a chick flick where two friends agree to get married if both of them are single when they turn 40”.

Lol. The rumour also suggests that Chris Paul (the other best player in the NBA) will join the three musketeers next season. Wouldn’t that be something?

I guess when people have been on their knees for you since high school, you gain a certain sense of arrogant self-servitude, and as Rick Wartzman wrote for the Baltimore Sun, his lack of loyalty, commitment and self awareness is a saddening reflection of the times.

My favourite part of the whole scenario was the response of his former-coach at Cleveland, who released a statement as soon as LeBron left saying that the Cleveland Cavaliers would win an NBA championship before LeBron did at ANY franchise. That was a pretty good move (especially for the Cleveland fans) but then he got a bit sweary and told all of Cleveland that LeBron had quit on them, and that they should all burn their jerseys. You only have to check out ‘James jersey burn’ on YouTube to see that a lot of them listened. Still, LeBron’s return to Cleveland in a Miami jersey will be AWESOME. So awesome that I might even watch a basketball game. Maybe.

A joking Wendell Sailor once said “there is no I in ‘team’, but there are five in ‘individual brilliance’. How apt.

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Prez Sez

What a great start back to our final semester! With the fun of reorientation hopefully keeping you entertained (even with the unpredictable weather), and our Winterfest line up totally rocking, I am sure that all of you found something of interest to go along to. Our events team work have worked double time bringing you the best that we can in terms of top notch acts, bands and pure entertainment! I have no doubt that our two massive gigs, headlined by Kidz in Space and Kids of 88 respectively, were an absolute hit!

For our new students who are still trying to feel their way through AUT, I hope you have settled smoothly and easily into our university. I remind you that your student association AuSM is here to assist in any way possible. To our returning students – we’re almost at the end of another AuSM awesome year!

There are few things that are happening in the tertiary sector that make life for us here at AuSM all the merrier and happier (total sarcasm), such as the ever looming VSM (Voluntary Student Membership) Bill. We are set to appear before the Education Science Select Committee on August 12 and I can assure you we will be doing our best to represent all the AUT students. Tertiary Minister Steven Joyce has also made some recent announcements about wanting better linkages of universities and employment. A slight emphasis on universities fulfilling a similar role of an employment agency for their graduates and a real possibility of taking the focus away from teaching and learning. Mixed messages coming through on this, and in my opinion I think AUT students are relatively safe and well prepared as we are already ingrained in the various industries through our different community partnerships and stake holders.

Finally, AuSM elections are now open to all AUT students. In brief, this is the executive council that brings different portfolio and constituents together to best represent out student body. If you are willing to stand up and advocate for others and believe in the worthy cause and powerful tool of student voice, I encourage you to put your name forward! After all, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose!

Best wishes for the week ahead – Ia Manuia Your fellow president

Veronica Diary design competition This year we are inviting students to submit a cover for the 2011 AuSM Student Diary. We print 20,000 copies so this is an amazing chance to get your work into the public sphere.

We will select 10 finalists and ask the students to vote for the winner. The grand prize will be a $500 Gordon Harris voucher plus the runners up will get a $250 voucher each.

Deadline for entries is September 20. Please submit files in PDF format to rebecca.williams@aut.ac.nz Tweet Up If you are not already following us on Twitter, join the @ausm1 party! We love to reward our friends with lots of inside gossip, news flashes and giveaways!

We’re also keeping an eye on Four Square and rewarding the Mayors of AUT, AuSM offices and Vesbar at random. So make sure you check in.

Lockers If you want to get a locker for semester two we have good availability on North Shore Campus but only a few left on City Campus.

We have what you need AuSM offices now stock 2Degrees top-ups as well as Vodafone and Telecom. There are also a range of international calling cards available for your convenience.

Are your lips feeling the burn this winter? Pick up a super cool AuSM lip balm/sunscreen for just $3.50.

We only have a few Entertainment Books left now so get one while you can. If you can’t spare $65 in one go you are welcome to pay in three instalments.

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Veronica Ng Lam AuSM President 921-9999 ext 8571 veronica.nglam@aut.ac.nz

Designer needed We are looking to hire a part-time graphic design student to work on debate and other AuSM promotional material 10-15 hours per week. You would be based in the City Campus and hours can be flexible to fit around your study. If you are interested email rebecca.williams@aut.ac.nz for more info.

Win Stuff We have some great competitions on our website at the moment. Visit: www.ausm.org.nz/ competitions for a chance to snap up tickets to the premiere night of the Hong Kong Film Festival or a double-pass to The Assassins.

Get the discounts you deserve Don’t forget to register for your FREE AuSM Mates Rates Card online to receive more than 120 discounts at places like Otto Woos, Pulp Shoes, Burger Wisconsin, Giapo Gelato, Snow Planet, Pita Pit, Barkers, Subway, Contiki and loads more.

Get the early edition Why get debate on a Monday when you can get it on a Friday? Email rebecca.williams@aut.ac.nz to go on our e-subscriber mailing list.

Put your feet up Vesbar has new furniture for your lounging pleasure and some fantastic meal deals this semester so come and spend some quality time with us. Don’t forget the Wednesday super special: Fish and Chips plus a handle for just $7.50.

We want you to enjoy YOUR student bar, so if you have some suggestions on how we can improve it please email rebecca.williams@aut.ac.nz. We will giveaway an Imax double pass to the best suggestion.

See you all at the Foam Party on Friday!

Should smoking be banned in prisons?

by Catherine Selfe

The right to smoke is a vice available to all adults… but not for long.

Prisoners have until July next year to get over their smoking addictions at which point it will be banned in all prisons in New Zealand along with the use of lighters and matches.

But this ban has inmates smoking at the ears.

However, I believe the government is making the right call and the ban will reap numerous benefits. There are the obvious health benefits. Non-smoking guards and inmates are constantly subjected to having to endure clouds of dangerous second-hand smoke. Smoking is currently permitted in prisons in cells as well as in designated external areas. However, if ‘no smoking’ areas can’t be enforced properly at AUT then what hope is there for an environment of hardened criminals? So escaping second-hand smoke becomes even more of a challenge for non-smokers. Then there are the health benefits for the smokers themselves. It is estimated that approximately two thirds of New Zealand inmates smoke, which is a dramatic increase (almost three times) when compared to society as a whole. The inmates will have access to education and support for escaping their addiction and medication such as patches will be available to help with addiction. The ban will also eliminate the possibility for taxpayer money to be used if prisons are found legally liable for health issues created from exposure to second-hand smoke. Prisoners are in the care of society; this includes their health, so the ban has come from the responsibility that society feels we have to those in our care.

Many are of the opinion that the ban will cause more violence in the prisons and it is said that threats are already being made towards guards. However one New Zealand prison guard recently quoted in the media has said that prisoners are always going to fight and be violent. He said currently, prisoners make demands that they expect to be carried out immediately and when this fails to occur they often use weapons fashioned from lighters or set fire to their cells.

Cigarettes, lighters and matches pose a health and safety risk to those working within prison walls as well as the prisoners.

There is the concern that by banning cigarettes, matches and lighters in prisons there will be a steep increase in black market trading inside the walls.

This shouldn’t be looked to as a big deterrent for the ban as there is already black market trading for numerous items of contraband. The ban won’t completely eliminate cigarettes in prisons but it will put a significant reduction on the numbers.

Past prisoners who were interviewed over the matter have said that the ban will create more anger and violence inside the prisons, especially towards the guards. However, none of them mentioned making any effort to stay out of prison and avoid having the ban inflicted upon themselves. A reality check is seriously needed here. The easy solution: if you want to keep smoking then stop breaking the law! Alcohol is also a banned substance inside prisons but addicts have had to deal with the withdrawals that come from this loss as well as those addicted to stronger drugs. How is smoking that much different?

Punishment for felons has long been too soft and although those in incarceration would love to point the finger and say this ban is just one more way to punish them. The ban has been chosen because of its ability to protect the health and safety of all those functioning within prison boundaries and to try and create a better way of living for the inmates when they return to society.

issue 15 June 2010

By Vinny Francesco

Smoking means combustion or hydro-carbonisation of [nutritional] matter; what’s so bad about that? Sure, you could potentially die from smoking. Just like ecological pollution from all kinds of smoking (i.e. vehicle exhaust, heater (particularly external heaters) poses a threat to health and life. For example many studies link traffic pollution with death (in the same way cigarette studies link smoking with death.

Of course, I am not saying give prisoners cars, I am saying if you engage in polluting activity, don’t complain about pollution. Translation; if smoking is allowed in home, why not within prison? Would it be hypocritical to allow smoking in home but not prison?

Prison conveys entrapment, conviction, isolation, solace, dehumanisation and asylum. The political definition focuses on entrapment, packaged as a sort of “punishment”. Interestingly enough, the political definition of prison could easily fit with many childhood/teenagehood impressions of home. “Prison is a place where bad people go” is a definition within popular culture many would not object to. The plain fact is, prison is where people are forced into, when it has been “verified” that they have broken the law.

Now we come to law. Law is basically text; the best translation is “commandment” or “injunction”. Who decides law, how this occurs and why something has been made illegitimate, and what specific form this takes is not explainable in one paragraph. No doubt we have/had some ludicrous pieces of law in New Zealand (for example sign language used to be illegal, now it’s an ordained official language).

Law is said to be the product of culture. In New Zealand, the dominant criminological psyche is punishment i.e. “lock them up and throw away the key”. Translation: “Put them in prison”. This view is a sort of battiness for the law, a glorification of the law. Funnily enough, many of those who hold such a view are probably easily enraged when they are incriminated for something they consider insignificant. The best example of this is traffic fines. The bare fact: if you have broken a traffic law that is a crime, and if you have performed a crime you are a criminal. It’s amazing to wonder how many traffic criminals have driven home muttering enraged jeers at “the [revenue gathering] man”, only to spit insults at the latest “criminal” on the six o’clock news.

Based on this, it comes as no surprise that many see no problem banning smoking in prisons, while many of those same people would find a ban on smoking in home and society objectionable. The whole premise that prisoners don’t deserve something you and I are allowed is preposterous to begin with (which reveals that the whole idea of prisons and punishment is inept in many ways). Even if punishments ineptitudes are cast aside, punishment needs to fit and be relative to the crime to be considered true restorative justice.

When we are children, we might be put in “time-out”, grounded, banned from leisure, or even smacked/hit. When we are adults, we might be put in prison, solitary confinement or even executed. Such methods lack critical engagement with the issues at hand, and deal with them in a vicarious way, rather than directly. If your break was removed at work every time you were late, would that be acceptable? Maybe you can smoke during your break, but not in front of customers, because they are more important than you.

Actually the message the government is sending us is that prison workers are more important than ordinary citizens; aren’t the health of all citizens important? We send criminals to prison because they are deemed to act inhumanely; what will dehumanisation* do to rehabilitate criminals?

No matter how you slice it, banning smoking at prison but not at home is hypocritical, irrelevant and does nothing to resolve crime. *Dehumanisation= people in New Zealand are allowed to smoke within their homes. By denying humans i.e. prisoners the right to smoke, their humanity is stripped.

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How to train for a marathon

by Moon Lee

The Auckland marathon is becoming one of New Zealand’s most popular road running events with tickets sold out months before race day. If you’re competing or thinking of competing in the future here are some useful tips to help you through your marathon journey and to run an enjoyable race.

4 BE STRONG

Runners need resistance training to keep muscles strong enough to support their joints. Stronger muscles provide resistance to injury and a more powerful performance, so do strength training for 15-30 minutes, two to three days per week.

5 REST UP

Marathon training is demanding: physically and mentally. It requires lots of time and effort and the stress can take a toll on your body so follow a hard/easy pattern and build in a weekly “REST DAY” in your plan.

Training Schedule

1 RESPECT THE DISTANCE

From today to August 6 - Endurance base Run four to five days a week, gradually building up your mileage. Run two middle-distance, one or two short recovery jogs and one long, slow pace run during the weekend. Some hill runs will help you build up leg strength at this stage!

2 BE FLEXIBLE

August 7 to September 4 – Add speed workouts Introduce one-two minute interval runs or 20-40 minute sub-tempo runs in some of your middle distance trainings. Get your body ready for speed endurance in the next phase! Still run the weekend long run in a relatively slow/ comfortable pace. Also, give yourself 10km time trials once every two-three weeks. Treat it as speed workouts.

Sure, 42.2km is a LONG way, but it is possible to complete – as long as you respect the distance and commit to a proper training programme. ‘On the day heroes’, who turn up on event day without training properly suffer during the race and often give up. To run long distances like marathons, you need to be well prepared; mentally and physically.

Marathon training is a long, consistent process: you need a long term plan to guide you through the training. Fitting training around your commitments can be difficult so don’t punish yourself if you miss out a few runs, it won’t affect your fitness levels. However, endurance training is crucial so a long, slow run during the weekend is a must.

3 EAT UP

Your body needs a lot of carbohydrates and nutrients to support you through training and competing; so a low carbohydrate, low calorie diet won’t work with marathon training. Proper portions of complex carbohydrates, lean meats, fruits, vegetables and plant fats should be included in your diet. To run a long distance, you need to put enough petrol in the tank!

September 5 to October 9 – Advanced speed workout Introduce cruise interval and 20-40 minute tempo runs in your training plan.

Combining speed with endurance gets the body used to running at a higher intensity for longer. It also trains the body to level up its lactic acid tolerance.

October 10 to Race Day – The longest run and the taper weeks begins With the race just weeks away, the last and longest run should be scheduled no later than 10th of Oct: a 38km run for experienced marathon runners; a 35km run for newbie marathon runners. After that, the taper weeks begin. The two to three weeks before race day are key weeks for recovery: reduce your weekly training load and hopefully you will feel fresh and energetic on race day.

If you are looking for some running mates to kick start your training, AUT City Fitness Centre has a FREE city-based running club. For further information contact Moon Lee on molee@hotmail.com, or 0210488250. Good luck!

Vegetarian shepherd’s pie This is an old winter favourite of mine from Alison Holst’s Meals without meat. It’s perfect for those cold winter evenings when you want something comforting. It’s pretty quick to put together, especially if you have leftover mashed potato from the night before! I tend to add extra vegetables like carrots and mushrooms to bulk it up. The recipe can easily be doubled. I often make up a big mixture of the bean mix and then freeze it in single or double serve portions so all you have to do is defrost the bean mix, put leftover potato on top and voila!

Serves 2-3 Cost: $2.42 Dairy free if no cheese on top. Gluten free if use GF soya sauce and stock powder and corn flour to thicken ingredients 500g potatoes, peeled and chopped 1 cup grated cheese Milk 1 onion, chopped 2 tablespoons oil 1 capsicum, chopped (or other cheap vegetables e.g. carrots, peas) 1 ½ tablespoons flour (or 1 ½ teaspoons corn flour for GF) ½ teaspoon vegetable stock powder ½ teaspoon each of basil, oregano, paprika and soya sauce ¾ cup water, beer, red wine and/or the potato cooking liquid 1 tablespoon tomato paste 200 – 250g red kidney beans, drained

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Directions

1.

Cook potatoes and mash with half the cheese and a little margarine. Add milk until the mashed potatoes are a fairly soft consistency. Put aside.

2.

Cook onions in the oil until they are well browned, add the capsicum (and any other vegetables) and the flour and stir until the flour has browned.

Note: If you are using corn flour, add it mixed with a little water, once the bean mixture has boiled.

3.

Add the remaining ingredients except for the beans and then bring to the boil, stirring constantly.

4.

Add the beans whole, chopped or partially mashed depending on personal preference. Taste and adjust seasoning.

5.

Spread the bean mixture into a baking dish. Cover with spoonfuls of the mashed potatoes. Sprinkle on the remaining cheese

6.

Cook uncovered at 180°C for 20-30 minutes or for about five minutes in the microwave. Your pie is ready when the bottom centre feels hot.

Advertising, according to Jared.

Who is a nobody.

By Jared I feel sorry for advertising. I bet you didn’t even know it was possible to sympathise with a global, multi-billion dollar industry. Well it is. And I know that advertising is full of rich people who couldn’t give two fucks about my opinion or my sympathy but I don’t care. The advantage of being a nobody is that you don’t have to care what people think, because you can’t possibly become any less famous. On that note, I think it’s actually important for everyone to look at advertising every once in a while and actually consider what it is. And what it isn’t.

My sympathy for advertising stems from the horrible world of perception. Advertising in a marketing sense (a.k.a. the actual reason why advertising exists) is, if the last three years of my communications degree have sunk in, big people talking to little people about things they should do. That’s a pretty broad description and it plays hosts to a wild variety of things that people call ads. The perception is that ads yell at us during the news, because people that make ads are dickheads and they think that if they talk loud enough we’ll do what they say. Good ads are now, talking to people who don’t give a shit about advertising, almost an art. Good ads are unusual, rare even.

One of my mates (knowing that I’m an advertising major) started giving me shit (because I’m his only link to the ad world) about that Cadbury ad with the dancing cow. His main argument was that it wasn’t an ad because it didn’t tell him what to do.

That made me sad, because an ad designed purely to make people smile ended up earning scorn (albeit the scorn of an idiot) because it WASN’T shit. And for that I say fuck you Harvey Norman, and fuck you Rebel Sport. And you Briscoes, and especially all the people who, sitting at their computers, decided that another massive mid winter sale with explosions and yelling would make a good ad. On top of that, I’m even more upset that collectively our culture responds to those kinds of shotgun ads, exploding ear drums and covering people in sticky, uncreative crap that some talentless accountant thought

up.

I guess my main whinge (in amongst all these other sub-whinges) is that I don’t understand why people don’t make good ads that work. As naive as that sounds, I reckon it’s worth a go. Ads are either amazing because creatives are trying to win awards, or shit because some guy’s brother knows a guy with a Mac. It’s especially depressing considering I really want to be in the industry. I would love to win awards, but I’d rather be known as someone who makes ads that work.

I have a dream that I’ll become the Robin Hood of advertising, the Batman of the industry; going around to shitty clients and making awesome ads for them for free. I’ll call it intellectual philanthropy and I’ll make TV a nice place again. Sadly, I think I’m a little too dumb to be able to appreciate just how impossible that is.

And if I can’t do that then I want to make my own agency, where everyone laughs and has long lunches and womanises, just like Mad Men. I just don’t understand how there can be 20 billion awards dinners celebrating quirky creativity, and very few celebrating the rare art of a nice ad that does what the client wants it to do. Even worse, I feel frightened that you can pretty much justify any ad if you know enough long words and you talk about emotions and brand strengthening. EVEN WORSE – what if nobody in the whole industry finds my schoolboy naivety endearing, and I never get a job?

Hopefully I’ll be able to convince myself that I’m too good for it.

Despite all my ramblings, I’m left back at the same point (perhaps defeating the purpose of writing altogether). The people in advertising don’t care about me, so they’ll never answer all my questions, and the people who aren’t in advertising just don’t care, about me or my sad little thoughts.

Sigh.

Christmas Cookies Info Day on Campus Do you love a challenge, work hard and want to make the most of an amazing summer job opportunity?

Then selling Christmas Cookies is for you!

Learn about running your own business, have fantastic earning potential, and be well rewarded!

Positions are available in towns and cities across New Zealand for the seven weeks leading up to Christmas.

Visit us at our Info Day: Thursday 29 July, 10.00am - 4.00pm in the Hikuwai Plaza.

For more info, head to SJS or check out our website!

www.cookietime.co.nz issue 15 June 2010

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pm.

4 t a 7 pm.

2 4 y t l a u J 2 sday, ay, August e u T : tha at e d n n i n a l o d m a M a e! De dline: mail S u a e s e , s i s D e s . is a 90 althy living f these issu e u s s xt i s he er o Our ne 6’s theme i bute to eith i 1 Issue ant to contr w If you t.ac.nz u a @ e debat

Contributors Required. news hounds, political gurus, feature writers, reviewers, columnists, sports writers, opinionists, photographers, cover designers, cartoonists, humourists...

debate is your oyster.

For more info, email Samantha McQueen on debate@aut.ac.nz or drop in to the AuSM city campus office for a chat.

16

You’re probably aware that New Zealand is

the greenest, cleanest most lovely, laidback, casual place in the world;

provided you read the posters and watched the ads with your gullible hat on. In reality, while it may pain us to accept, our country has a few issues that we choose to ignore. We are, on the whole, quite a racist bunch – with a tendency to punish those who enjoy success (unless they’re an All Black) and discard other cultures with uncanny disdain. I like to think I can acknowledge these...problems...because I love this country, flaws and all. Down on the list of these flaws is our amazing ability, as New Zealanders, to absolute despite ANY other human who is driving a car at the same time as us.

Road rage is a problem all over the world, but we Kiwis must surely take home the prize for being the most road-ragey pack of haters on the planet. I’ve been driving for about five years and I can say, from personal experience, that any minor infringement of any driving law (or even things that aren’t infringements) can, on occasion, spur temporary support for capital punishment. I don’t know what it is or why we do it, but driving in Auckland is one of the most expletiveladen adventures one can endure.

American traffic reporters started using the term ‘road rage’ in the 80s to describe uncharacteristic responses to congestion; particularly on the sardine tin highways in LA. The term caught on properly after a number of freeway shootings. Since then, the term has come to represent a number of behaviours, all of which are unacceptable, some of which are illegal. Swearing, pulling fingers and beeping horns are just the beginning – cases have been recorded where people have been followed home and murdered for cutting someone off or other selfish practices. It’s a type of anger that is, in most mentally stable people, completely unprecedented and exceptional to normal behaviour. So why do we do it? (And we do all do it.)

Road Rage has been classified as a genuine mental condition, akin to the slightly better documented ‘intermittent explosive disorder’ (IED). A US study in 2006 suggested that, over the period of their lives, Americans are involved in 43 acts of explosiveness, with an average total of $1300 worth of damage. I would argue that the New Zealand statistics would be worse. The symptoms of IED relate to road rage almost perfectly. Instant anger, heart palpitations and sweating, followed by an almost as instant descent into sanity after the incident.

An AA survey last month asked nzherald.co.nz readers what they found most frustrating about New Zealand drivers. With over 320 comments in less than an hour, it seems New Zealanders are

issue 15 June 2010

prepared to share their ‘opinions’ online as well as out of the driver’s side window. The most annoying drivers were purportedly selfish ones, who wrongly believe that they are the only people who need to get somewhere, and that they need to get their first, aka everyone in the whole city. The most frustrating driving practice? Texting and driving (which by the way, happens to be illegal). Last week, the Herald saw 50 motorists using their cell phones while driving on the motorway. Sure, because accidents aren’t going to happen there, are they?

I think the main problem with road rage, particularly in Auckland, is that we’re all fucking terrible at driving. Comparative to our population, we have an insanely congested main highway and, when you consider the massive area of our city and the fact that we very rarely have to deal with a lot of people in small space, you can kind of understand why we don’t cope with other cars all up in our faces.

This, unfortunately, doesn’t wash as an excuse to wind down your window and say fuck about 90 times at an old lady who probably doesn’t even know what country she’s in. That’s another problem – old people and driving. Why is it legal? I know people have to sit a refresher license course if they’re over 55, but the other day I overtook a white-haired turtle in a 1-series BMW going about 60kp/h on the Newmarket Flyover. As if we needed help to create traffic there. Ban them.

Driving in suburbia, you’ll come across drivers (read: wankers) who think because they drive a car worth more than your student loan that they can turn without indicating. Dickheads. I’ve noticed Auckland drivers also seem to be incredibly impatient at traffic lights. If a car can turn left only after pedestrians have safely crossed the road, they’ll edge as close as they can without it being a hit-andrun. I saw one guy honk at a pedestrian for not crossing fast enough.

They obviously haven’t read the give way section of the road code. Or any part, for that matter.

Even writing this I’m starting to feel angry. I have a few friends who don’t drive, and when they’re in the passenger’s seat they tend to look at me (and, I’m assured, most other drivers they travel with) with a collaborative expression of fear and bewilderment – completely unable to compute the nature of my explicit language and my love of flipping the bird. This tells me that it’s purely an issue that arises post-license, leaving me with this well informed, scientific hypothesis: New Zealanders hate each other. The end.

17

Coup De Main

–

taking over the world, one Pokémon at a time

by Samantha McQueen Shahlin Graves

and Sacha Young are poster-girls for the internet generation. They’re both sitting on Young’s bed in her Newmarket home, among a jungle of cords and electronics. Graves is at one end, typing away on her black Macbook, which plays home to a collection of band stickers, like Paramore and This Providence. Her iPhone – which is decked out in a Where the Wild Things Are skin – is hidden beside her, and she confesses she loves playing zombie games on it to help her de-stress (although she’d rather it was Pokémon). At the other end, Young is scribbling away on her tablet (she’s coding, she later informs me), which is linked to her Mac desktop. Her Blackberry sits on her desk, and every so often it’ll furiously vibrate (Although that’s not as impressive as the Juno-style hamburger phone that’s sitting on her window sill).

They’re technology obsessed, but unlike most, they’re not using the internet to procrastinate from the latest university assignment, or to search for the latest internet meme. Rather, they’re hard at work on Coup De Main – an online magazine the girls launched last year with former Studio 2 presenter Vicki Lin, with virtually no budget. Think that’s impressive; Graves was in her final year of communications at AUT when it launched, and Young was working full-time. And there’s more – these entrepreneurial girls are only 21 and 20-year-old, respectively.

Aimed at teens and 20-somethings, Coup De Main represents pop culture at its finest. Here, you’ll find declarations of love for The Jonas Brothers and Taylor Swift, alongside interviews with Thirty Seconds to Mars and Vampire Weekend. An exclusive Q&A with The Vampire Diaries hunk Ian Somerhalder is posted on the same website that has an entire section dedicated to all things Inception. Here, artists draw self-portraits of themselves, and there are enough Polaroid snaps to satiate even the most whimsical nostalgic.

Coup De Main (a military term, which means to capitalise on surprise) is the brainchild of 21-year-old Graves (the magazine’s editor-in-chief), who has been involved in music journalism since 15. She says the idea came about, after noticing a gap in the New Zealand market for an alternative magazine aimed at young adults.

“We love magazines, like Nylon magazine and Alternative Press, which are both American magazines, but there’s nothing like that locally. I mean even Australia have got Frankie magazine, and Blunt magazine.”

Coup De Main promises on their website to combat against lazy journalism,

18

something Graves is staunchly against. “I have a constant irritation when I read something where people have just copy-and-pasted a press release…if someone’s going to go to the effort of reading what you wrote, then you can go to the effort of writing something new for them to read.” You won’t find a simple Q&A with them; every artist will be have a lengthy introduction and the questions range from the simple, such as an artist’s song-writing process, to the obscure, that only fans will know. She’ll spend hours researching previous interviews to get inspiration, have brainstorming sessions with Young, and perhaps most importantly, she’ll ask the fans what they want to know.

“You’ve got to do a really balanced mix of writing something that you’re happy with, that the fans are going to be happy with…but you also have to give a sweet background so that someone who’s reading it that doesn’t really know about [them]… they’re not going to be bored reading it.”

The formula they’ve got has been working. Since launching in February last year, Coup De Main has quickly spread through the viral grapevine. In the last six months, they’ve had 72,000 unique readers on their site, and their most read article – an interview with Cobra Starship – has been viewed more than 112,000 times. One of their most recent interviews with Thirty Seconds to Mars lead guitarist Tomo Milicevic was linked to on the band’s official website, and hits on their site doubled. And let’s not forget tween super sensation Justin Bieber, who Graves interviewed earlier this year; that interview is the most read article so far this year.

Coup De Main is not just a music magazine – although Graves’ passion is definitely in that area. They unashamedly wear their hearts on their sleeves for dinosaurs, the film festival, Chuck Bass and the fashion of Gossip Girl, postcards, TopShop and Urban Outfitters, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and the new generation of Disney acts. Although, Graves is quick to point out that just because they voice their love for certain tween sensations, it doesn’t mean everything is going to make its way into their ever-expanding hearts.

“I don’t think we love everything tween. I think it’s more that we like what we like and we’re not going to be ashamed about it if it’s something that people who are 20 and 21 aren’t supposed to like or whatever,” Graves says.

“There are artists and stuff that we love, but I think it’s a bit generalised to say that we love everything tween because there are some Disney acts that I really don’t like. Cough, Selena Gomez cough.”

Graves has an interview resume most music journalists can only dream about. At 19, she had Katy Perry confessing that she did indeed, kiss a girl and she got to interview her “favourite band in the whole wide world”, Tegan and Sara, in Sydney. She’s done an interview and an Alice in Wonderland themed photo shoot with Florence Welch, of Florence + the Machine, and had a picture book drawn by The Decemberists gifted to her at this year’s Big Day Out. One of her Polaroid’s she took of Gabe Saporta – the lead singer of Cobra Starship – ended up as his Twitter background. So, who does she still have to check off her list?

“People always ask me that question and the only person I have really left in my ultimate checklist, like realistically that one day in the future that I could interview is Zooey Deschanel – and then I think that’s my whole wish list done.”

Having been in the industry since such a young age, you would think that Graves has always set out to be a music journalist. But she’s quick to point out that this is a career path she never thought she’d end up in.

“I did heaps of interning and work experience at record companies, and it’s pretty funny because everyone that meets me now… they always expect me to have majored in journalism, but I did one journalism paper and I didn’t like it.

“I never really wanted to be a journalist, or set out to be a journalist, or thought that I would so it is really weird, but for lack of better words, I fell into it.”

For someone that fell into it, they have had some big accomplishments.

But they say 2010 has been a year of making “grown up decisions, so to speak”.

They are working with a branding company – AD2 – to help them with business strategy, and working out where they want to take Coup De Main.

One thing that isn’t on the cards is a print version, even though that was originally part of their five year plan. Graves says Generation Y-ers wouldn’t have time to inhale all that they had to offer in print, like they’re able to at the moment online.

“I mean obviously people our age will buy trashy magazines and stuff, but it’s not like you read them because you want to have them as solid reading material. I think that our generation is so all about wanting stuff now and immediately, you know self-gratification, there’s no need to do a print version when online is working so well for us already.”

Working well is an understatement. Search for them on Twitter or Facebook and you’ll encounter endless comments from readers – or is fans a better word? – praising them for both their content, and the way they respond to readers’ questions and feedback. Brand new followers get a “thanks for following us!” tweet, no matter how busy they are, or how late it is. It’s time consuming, but Graves says it’s one of the most important aspects of running Coup De Main.

“If someone is going to take the time and effort and bother to tweet us or Facebook us, the least we can do is reply, even if it’s not a really long reply. The other night, not including me having to refresh everything new that we got, it took me like two hours to reply to all of our at replies on Twitter.

“I guess it is time consuming, because it’s so important for us to do it. We want our readers to be more than readers. We want them to feel like we do have some sort of established level of friendship with them because we care about what they think and we want to post content that they want to read.”

Their age has definitely helped secure an avid readership over the past 18 months, and Young says it’s amazing to see how well received they’ve been – not just by their readers, but by businesses and record companies as well.

But like everything good in the world, she says there are always negative people who see their age as a disadvantage. They don’t dwell on it though;

issue 15 June 2010

they just quietly add names to their contacts, and try to ignore the “huge tall poppy” that hangs over them, as Graves put it.

Ageists haven’t been the only setback for Coup De Main.

Their fashion editor – Vicki Lin – left for Taiwan late last year and doesn’t plan on being back in the country for around two years. Young says she’s still actively involved with the magazine, posting content whenever she can, but it is hard for her being far away.

“We have Skype meetings with her, and keep her updated and stuff. I guess we’re all just doing the best that we can with the circumstances,” she says.

In the interim, Young has taken over the position as New Zealand fashion editor, as well as her original role of creative director for the site.

Luckily, she’s a fashion nut. Her room is defined by a large, predominantly black pile of clothes, which is spilling out of her wardrobe like a wave. She also graduated with a Certificate in Fashion Technology at AUT in 2007 and up until earlier this year, she was working full-time in the Urban Angel creative department at Pumpkin Patch. Nowadays, she’s full-time Coup De Main, although she still works at Pumpkin Patch one and a half days a week to pay for her “coffee and petrol”.

It’s exhausting just watching them online, let alone seeing it up close. And their interactions together – it’s like watching one person split in two right in front of you. They hassle each other about celebrity crushes (the name Ian Somerhalder was shouted out at least six times). They answer questions meant for the other – Graves says Young likes to play on swings to de-stress, while Young draws a blank at the question. They finish each other’s sentences and when it comes to the important things – like what their favourite pop tart is – they answer in unison (the answer, by the way, is Smores). It’s a wonder they get anything done at all – what with being on a constant sugar and caffeine buzz – but Young is serious when she talks about how great it is working with Graves.

“Sha’s amazing. She’s pretty much a genius. I have no idea how she comes up with the questions she does.

“I guess we’re really lucky in the sense that we complement each other really well and we kind of know how to challenge and push each other to get the best work out of each other, so to speak. [It] is such a cool quality, because not many people our age have anyone else like that in their lives,” Young says.

Graves is quick to jump in with an equally praising response: “Sacha’s magical, I really love her. She’s awesome. She has a really great and clear vision which I think for someone her age… it’s quite a rare thing for someone to be that motivated to strive towards her vision.”

They may tell everyone they are secretly five-year-olds but it’s obvious they have wisdom beyond their years and they’ve got big plans for “insert world domination jokes here”, says Graves.

To top off their already bursting plate, they are in the midst of redesigning their whole site, which explains the coding Young has been busy doing for the last hour. They hope to have it up and running by November.

“It takes a lot of time and our head hasn’t really been there till a couple of weeks ago when we actually sat down…and set out a timeline.”

Don’t worry though; it will still have all the personality that readers have fallen in love with but will represent the growth the girls have gone through this year.

“Yeah growing, like a Pokémon,” Young says seriously, which is followed by a loud “I choose you” from both of them in unison.

Like I said, pop culture at its finest.

www.coupdemainmagazine.com 19

A trip down memory lane with Mike Atkins

B

rian Eno said that “repetition is a form of change”, but he said that in the 70s.

Nostalgia is a powerful marketing tool, but it is people too young for nostalgia who are most likely to buy stupid things. There didn’t seem to be too much potential for synergy between those two ideas, until someone invented 90s nostalgia.

I’m not saying no one could feel genuine nostalgia for the 90s on an individual level, after all; “nostalgia” is a relative term. If your life only spans two, or three decades, then nostalgia for a period that only ended 10 years ago is a perfectly natural thing (especially if those were particularly good times for you). But as a cultural movement, it is too soon; and that’s a practical problem - we’re too close to the forest, and all we can see is trees. In this metaphor, I suppose, the trees are those counterfeit neon Ray-bans that The Warehouse used to sell. But any discussion about them that goes deeper than “hey, remember when” will have to wait another decade.

Writing about how there’s nothing to be said about something is a bit pointless (and a bit of a dick-move), unless you’re being forced to write about that particular topic. I don’t think anyone at debate has ever been forced to write something (even passive manipulation is rare). So why am I writing about this? Well, I thought it would be a fun exercise; analysing the cultural legacy of the 90s, and what’s changed since then. Just please bear in mind that this is only going to be a slightly more accurate prediction of what we’ll be saying about the 90s when all is said than done than what you’d get from inspecting pig entrails.

I started to think twice about not writing this piece when I came across the video for the Chemical Brother’s Hey Boy, Hey Girl, and thought “this hasn’t aged well”. The video was still pretty great, but not as oh-my-god-that-is-fucking-...-the-most-fantastic-thing-Ihave-ever-seen-...-ok-calm-down as I remembered it, but the song just showed how far electronic music has come since then. According to Wikipedia, the song is actually more recent than thought (1999), which only demonstrates that things have actually changed. So, after some thinking, here are a few other things that may have changed.

Pedo-pop is dead. Remember Britney in her Catholic school girl costume? Off course you do. Every man who was a certain age at the time remembers. Men who were younger than that certain age remember too, except they didn’t understand what was happening to them. And that was the point with Britney, and Christina, and the myriad other forgotten pop-tarts; they were all things to all people.

They were spark plugs for pocket rockets for people old enough to

20

understand that convoluted piece of innuendo, and innocent kiddiepop for anyone who was not (and their naive parents). That might sound good in theory, but in practice, it meant selling sex to children, while simultaneously trying to keep them innocent.

Nowadays pop-tarts are way grosser, but there’s no ambiguity about their audiences. Lady Gaga and Katy Perry make dirty, innuendo laden pop-trash for grown-ups. It’s not suitable for kids, but no one is confused about that; meanwhile kids have their Justin Bieber and Demi Lovato to play with. Not that Katy Perry and Lady Gaga wouldn’t appeal to kids, but there are many things that would appeal to kids, that kids shouldn’t be exposed to, like chainsaws; that’s why they make Fisher Price plastic chainsaws.

The fly in the ointment is the very real possibility that’s less a change than a swinging of the pendulum. Pedo-pop may not be dead, but simply sleeping long enough to have lured us into a false sense of security, until, one day... bam: that new Miley Cyrus video exists (good thing it’s still just a figment of my imagination). Mainstream rock is the other genre that has gone through the most significant changes since the 90s, but that’s pretty definitely a swing of culture’s pendulum from one extreme to the other.

At the end of the 90s, rock was the painfully earnest wuss-rock of Semisonic and The Verve, while at the beginning it was the war between grunge and hair-metal. This decade began with the awkwardly named genre “avant-garage”, that encompassed back-tobasics rock of The White Stripes and The Strokes, and ended with a return to wuss-rock, this time in the form of the new Killers, and the new Kings Of Leon (you can watch the development of rock in this decade in microcosm by watching the career of Kings Of Leon).

Fans of modern rock are relentless cool hunters, so the cycles tend to be quicker, but watching this cycle, one gets the queasy feeling that everything’s a cycle. Maybe there are no real changes.

Also, hip-hop’s reached a level of mainstream acceptance where we actually respect it, rather than grudgingly tolerating it. The surest sign of this is that novelty hip-hop is no longer a thing; we respect it too much to put it through that again. The world will never suffer through another Sir Mix-alot, but that was just a matter of time.

And, the downloading revolution at the beginning of the decade is the elephant in the room. But, things are settling back to where they were now, except on a smaller scale. That’s me, I’m done, that’s all I can come up with. I’m not saying there weren’t more profound changes, but they’re for someone with better vision at another time.

It was fun though.

FTBSNOWBOARDCAMPS.CO.NZ

issue 15 June 2010

21

High:Life

Australia

Coromandel Gold

Thailand: Full Moon festival

High:Life is back this year but at a new location! Usually in Matakana, the R20 event has shifted to the Stonyridge Vineyard on Waiheke Island (don’t worry, extra ferries and public transport has been organised) Last year saw Sneaky Soundsystem headline this event, along with The Open Souls, Tahuna Breaks, Vandalism and a ton of other artists and DJs. Because of the move, the capacity has been cut in half, so this will be one of the most exclusive events this year. It’s also closer to the city centre, so you can party the night away, and still roll into your bed at the end of the night (or morning).

Head down to Whitianga for this year’s Coromandel Gold NYE celebrations. Last year, Coromandel Gold was the place to be and it’s set to be bigger and better than ever this year. The official line-up isn’t announced until July 29 with tickets released to the general public on August 9 so make sure to get in quick. Last year’s line-up included Shapeshifter, Kora, Katchafire and so much more, so the organisers have really set the bar for this year. Held at Ohuka farm, just a stone’s through away from Buffalo beach and Whitianga, camping is the only way to enjoy this massive night. Camping options are available so head to www.coromandelgold.co.nz for more info!

Phat 11 in Reefton

Last year saw Pendulum, Verse and many more overseas acts head to small town Reefton for three nights of music and fun to ring in the New Year. Phat 11 is on again this year. Same place – the West Coast’s Inanghua rainforest – but new dates: December 29 until January 2.

With more camping options, as well as loads of facilities (but still no petrol station nearby), Phat 11 looks to be one of the most popular New Years events this year. Concord Dawn, Minuit, Bulletproof and Salmonella Dub are just a smattering of the many acts performing, so you better get in quick if you want tickets!

Rhythm and Vines

This festival has really exploded since its humble beginnings in 2003.

What once started out as a one night event is now a three-day epic, with more and more people flocking to Gisborne to get amongst it.

Last year Empire of the Sun and Moby headlined the event, and 2008 saw Santogold, The Kooks, the now defunct Late of the Pier as well as the brilliant A-Trak take the stage. The most popular accommodation is camping at the BW campgrounds, but you have to get in early if you want to secure a good spot. I know people who have had their tickets booked since May! First announcement is made on August 12, so make should you keep your ears (and eyes) peeled.

If you get suffocated by your family over the holidays, or are over New Years in New Zealand, head over to sunny Australia. Destination choices include Sydney, Brisbane, and Melbourne or if you feel really adventurous, you could always head to Perth. There’s lots more people (except in Perth), which means lots more events, and it’s hotter – so you can get a sweet tan! As well as enjoying the New Years countdown, there’s also the great theme parks, which NZ doesn’t have (we’re quite deprived), and for the girls, there’s shopping galore. The only downside is it’s a lot more expensive than staying on Godzone, so start saving your pennies or get a job.

With up to 50,000 people in attendance to the annual Full Moon festival, Thailand is for those who feel that Australia just isn’t far enough from home. The New Years package includes day trips, transport and food as well as transfers to and from Koh Phangan where you can countdown to the New Year with thousands of others.

More info on www. fullmoonparty-thailand.com.

Rent a hotel room or apartment

This is not lame. Hire out a room in your favourite hotel with 10 friends and have a party there. It can work out cheaper than some of the big festivals, and you get to choose the tunes – so if you want to ring in the New Year with a bit of Miley, so be it. Make sure to make it BYO; the last thing you want is a huge bill the next day because you used the mini bar. Split the costs between each other and maybe make breakfast in the morning while you feel good (or seedy) about 2011.

BBQ/Camping/ Karaoke

Just because a lot of the big festivals revolve around camping, doesn’t mean it has to be a massive affair. Sometimes it’s always nice to get away from the city to an isolated area, where it’s just you, some mates, some kai and the nature. Pitch a couple of tents, light a fire (with a permit) and have a quiet night around a camp fire. Just don’t let someone get really intoxicated and run off into the woods. That would not be fun: having to file a missing persons report because you guys had too much fun. Stay safe!

Sleep because you’ve got work & watch the TV One countdown

Don’t want to party hard or anything spontaneous? Or perhaps you drew the short straw this year and have to work the early morning shift (hey, someone has to do it). Why not have a quiet night in by yourself or with a couple of mates? Chill around the television and watch Jason Gunn or another TVNZ has-been rave on about how magnificent 2010 has been.

Whatever you do, make sure you enjoy yourself & be safe!

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1. Which troubled celebrity actress went to jail last week for violating her probation on charges made in 2007? a) Paris Hilton b) Lindsay Lohan c) Nicole Ritchie d) Michelle Rodriguez

6. What is the maximum length you can spend driving in a designated bus lane because you can be fined? a) 100 metres b) 70 metres c) 50 metres d) You’ve never allowed to drive in a bus lane

2. Changes to workplace sick days means that you may be required to provide a medical certificate after what period of time? a) One day b) Three days c) Five days d) Seven days

7. If you are in Galway, what country are you in? a) Ireland b) England c) Scotland d) Wales

3. The iPhone 4 has received complaints from consumers because of what fault? a) The built in antenna was causing reception issues b) It is too expensive c) It is not going to be made available in New Zealand d) The resolution on the camera is not better than the previous iPhone 4. What is the largest bone in the human body? a) Fibula b) Femur c) Tibia d) Humerus 5. Who is the directed of the well-received blockbuster Inception, which opened in New Zealand cinema’s last Thursday? a) James Cameron b) Gus Van Sant c) Christopher Nolan d) Steven Spielberg

8. Who was named last week by Forbes as the top earning athlete? a) Kobe Bryant b) David Beckham c) Roger Federer d) Tiger Woods 9. Who is the Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage? a) Gerry Brownlee b) Christopher Finlayson c) John Key d) Murray McCully 10. If you suffer from Coulrophobia, what are you afraid of? a) Cumulus clouds b) The cold c) Clowns d) Falling asleep in a crowded place

Corner of Lorne St and Wellesley St Monday – Friday: 9am - 5:30pm Saturday: 10am – 5pm Sunday: 11am – 4pm

The weirdest and most wonderful bookshop

in the world; I nearly walked past this place when I went to go there. Instead of going into the art gallery (which is what I did) you have to go around it and through a glass door and down some stairs. I was greeted by a rather large sign stating that all bags must be left at the front counter and the store would close at 5.30pm, which was placed next to a load of maps of Auckland and NZ. I skulked in quietly, (dreading the moment they asked me for it) trying to not let them notice my bag, I hate leaving my bag behind the counter at stores!

To my left were the kid’s picture books. I was delighted to see Where the Wild Things Are and The Velveteen Rabbit, though I was disappointed when I couldn’t find The Very Hungry Caterpillar or any of the Spot books, I heart those books. Instead I found a lot of books to help kids understand life stuff, like “it is ok to be angry” types of books and what happens when you die. I had a little snigger at the book with the little “tadpole” on the front explaining the facts of life.

The store really did present almost a million contradictions, and a million titles that absolutely fascinated me! In a separated area, you can find books on every religion you can think of and quite a few I had never heard of.

issue 15 June 2010

There was a section of books on Jesus, just as big as the section on Buddha.

If you need some help or know someone who does, this is the place for those types of books, they have psychology, philosophy, parenting, relationships, counselling and self help books for I’m sure every possible situation.

By now I’m thinking the place is a bit airy fairy, but then I walk back in to the main room and find a load of books on exercise, weight loss, martial arts, medicine and cooking. I was a bit disappointed that it started to look normal.

Then I moved on to the furthest corner of the store and my disappointment vanished. I had found the section with headings such as Witchcraft and Wicca, Ghosts, UFOs, Shamanism, Astrology and the Occult. There was a very normal looking man in the astrology section who kept giving me sideways glances while I was in the witchcraft section. Hey, how could I not look at a book of spells?

This review was written by a graduate in Retailing. If you are interested in retail and why people buy, take a look at papers in the Retail major in the Business School. You don’t have to be a business student to take the papers, so check out the website today!

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I’m a witty guy and I crack a fair few jokes

(some good, some not, but nobody bats at 100%). I tell good yarns and stories, I get funny when I’m angry or sad, it’s how i deal with things. I have, on occasion made a person cry tears of joy. It is a good feeling making people happy. My sense of humour is a gift, I’m not modest about it because making people laugh is an important thing to embrace. Humour is what really makes the world go round.

However, women often claim one of the most important things in a man is his sense of humour. In the few years I’ve been making people laugh I have learnt that woman are often referring to the humour of Brad Pitt, Wentworth Miller or even Dane Rumble.

Apparently those guys are hilarious. Not to knock them, I’m sure in their own ways all of those guys could be quite funny. I know Brad likes the odd practical joke and Dane looks like he’d make a few cracks about being a ‘Nu Zillunder’. All I am asking for is honesty. ‘Sense of humour’ is the guy version of ‘she has a great personality”. The whole ‘”on the inside” thing is utter bullshit, even more unfortunate for funny guys, inside them is usually a new Judd Apatow movie and those things really make you look bloated.

Though the scientific benefits of humour have been well documented, and classes like Laughing Yoga exist and shows like Billy Connelly sell out every time, humour is not really high up on the checklist for a prospective partner. It’s on the list as ‘do they make me laugh?’ rather than ‘are they funny?’. This is where you get those awkward situations where you meet the newest boy/girl friend and are told they are “oh so funny”, the new beau tells a blatanty racist joke, with no comedic value, and you look on disgusted as they damn near wet themselves, asking how you became friends in the first place.

Being funny can bring up thought about seriousness. People use humour to avoid awkward social situations and emotions which really just make things worse.

Now, to be fair, often humorous people bring it on themselves.

Comedy is all about timing, and knowing where that line is. Sure, people can make the accidental faux pa, making a WWII joke without knowing there is a Jew or a German in the room, but hey that happens. You know when to give the zinging wit a rest when it gets to the stage where you follow an anecdote by saying “It was so funny,” if you have to quantify or clarify it, it wasn’t funny. Don’t ever tell that story again.

It must be noted that while humour can scare some people away, funny people can win. Ricky Gervais’ girlfriend is comparatively well put together, so maybe some woman really do love a sense of humour (or shitloads of money).

Just to clear this up, this is not a dating advice column. I am the least reliable facet of sound relationship advice and like Wikipedia would not cite this as a source.

24

ea ls

M

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by Ben Hope

, s l Hee

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But hey! That’s just what I think

&

Se a

by Elana Kluner

After helping my friend finish off a tub of

Movenpick ice cream while listening to her vent about her second break up in two months, I witnessed something very common. She came to a conclusion; the reason the two guys broke up with her is because she slept with them too soon. At first, in her defence, I disagreed. I always thought if you play games, then you would attract people who play games. I told her to be true to herself and if she wanted to sleep with them right away, then go right ahead. This way, she will weed out the duds, and find a guy who really likes her for her and what she wants to do.

On my walk home, a siren screamed, lights flashed and a car going 60kmph down Queen St got pulled over. This got me thinking. Police limit the amount of car crashes by preventing cars from speeding.

But what about relationship crashes? Should there be a speed limit on dating?

We’ve heard it all before. The ‘no kissing on the first date’ rule, the ‘not revealing too much information’ rule, the ‘not saying I love you first’ rule, and the ‘not sleeping with them until they have fallen for you’ rule. We set up so many rules for ourselves just to ensure the next date. But are these rules realistic? Should we really limit ourselves on how fast things move in the relationship?

I decided to get some advice on the topic from my friend Hillary who has been with her boyfriend, Ariel, for two and a half years. I asked her when she thought a good time to sleep with someone was and she said, “anytime if you want your ass to get dumped. Time equals insurance”. Did I mention she’s always straight up? She carried on. “I feel like guys want you until they have you and then they don’t want you anymore, unless they’ve been wanting you for a really long time”.

Before I allowed this to boggle my mind, she explained to me how she and Ariel had known each other for two years before they started dating. “We starting hanging out in January, kissed in February, had sex in March, broke up in April and then got back together in April, and then he told me he loved me in June.” In desperate hopes to support my initial argument on the topic, I questioned her about that statement. I asked her if that same dating scenario was pushed back two years, if they would still be together. Her response was, “if I had slept with Ariel when we first met, I wouldn’t be talking to him now.”

We continued talking and discovered there really should be a speed limit to dating if you want it to last. If Hillary and Ariel didn’t have those two years of being friends and getting to know each other, it never would have worked. There wouldn’t have been time to build a bond and confirm their connection. But what happens if you get asked out on a date before the “friends” period? Well, you will just have to abide by the rules to avoid getting pull over.

neet's totally metal Welcome back to the first column of the

second semester. I hope your break was good, I know mine was. I’m actually writing this column while on holiday in America, mostly whilst at LA airport and on the train from New York to Washington DC. How is that for dedication?

So in honour of the longest day of my life (26 hours of straight travelling) I thought I would look at something this column doesn’t normally touch on, American metal music. You see, there are quite a few differences in sound between European bands and Americans bands. Of course there are those from Europe that sound American and vice versa, but on the whole, if you are more familiar with one scene, you’ll probably be able to pick up a band’s country of origin.

Generally I don’t really like American metal bands. There are of course exceptions; the usuals like Slayer and Metallica, then other bands like Dream Theatre, Type O negative and Kamelot (although to call Kamelot American is a bit of a stretch. The most awesome part of them, Roy Khan, is from Norway) but a quick look through my music collection will heavily favour Europe.

I find that the easiest way to tell American and European metal bands apart is took look at where a lot of them take their influences from. A lot of American metal bands take influence from Blues and Jazz, whereas a lot of European bands look to more classical music for their influence. I also personally find the European bands to be more melodic, basically meaning that there is more melody present in their music.

There are also differences between the fan preferences. What may be huge in Europe and Asia can be underground in America, so bands that can sell out arenas overseas will play only small venues in America. It’s similar to when the European bands come to New Zealand. Of course New Zealand and America have a similar issue in the fact that metal is not even close to being a mainstream music genre. This limits the audience numbers making playing at larger venues not an option except for the much larger bands.

Another issue America faces is that if does not have the extensive festival network set up that Europe does. Over summer in Europe there are huge music festivals taking place. The kind of festivals that make Big Day Out look like a small gathering. There are dedicated metal festivals, as well as general music festivals where you can normally find quite a few metal bands playing. This means that most bands want to be in Europe over the Northern Hemisphere summer time, giving America slim pickings when it comes to live shows.

However later in the year, specifically from about August onwards, there is an influx of live shows, much more than we would ever see in New Zealand.

Speaking of live shows, while I’m over here I’m seeing Soilwork live thanks to a friend who works at the venue, so keep an eye on the next column for all the stories from that adventure.

issue 15 June 2010

by Frances Gordon

Travel 101 – CONTROL “A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it” – John Steinbeck That John Steinbeck is a smart guy. In less than 20 words he has managed to perfectly explain the last month of my life.

Let me digress for a moment; I need to tell you what I should be doing whilst I write this column. I should be sipping on a margarita looking out onto Venice Beach. I should be buying tacky souvenirs and celeb stalking. I should be turning a lovely golden shade of brown.

I should be able to wear a swimsuit without catching pneumonia. I should be (window) shopping on Rodeo Drive. However, I am not.

Why? Because I thought I could control my journey.

This semester, I am farewelling our clean, green shores and heading off to the United States for a semester abroad at the University of Missouri’s School of Journalism. I like to think that generally, I’m a pretty laidback person. This process has proved otherwise. As it turns out, when I travel I have the most ridiculous tendency to want to control everything down to the finest detail.

Want an example? I was so convinced of my own skills of persuasion that I thought I’d be able to change rules enforced by the United States Government. Because I like planning so much, I decided to get my tickets early against the advice of travel agents who suggested I get my visa first. However the temptation of sparkly sales proved to be too much. My normally expensive return tickets to LA were cheap and cheerful so I thought what the heck, not much can stop me, right?

Wrong.

Turns out the American Government have every right to stop me.

The visa I needed had restrictions on when you could enter and leave the country. To be precise, my visa stipulated that I mustn’t enter the USA any more than 30 days before my programme started and the tickets I had booked (during said sales) had me arriving 36 days before my programme started.

However, in my little fantasy world I didn’t think that would be a problem. I mean, I knew I was arriving a little early but it was less than a week… I was sure if I just talked to them, they’d be reasonable, right?

Wrong.

Believe you me, I tried to talk to them. I tried to reason. I battered my eyelashes, flashed a cheeky grin, flipped my hair and did everything I could to epitomise grace, charm and wit.

They weren’t having any of it.

Seven days and $975 in additional fees later, I am sitting in gate 16 at Auckland Airport, ready as I can be for my flight to LA… or as ready as I want to be anyway.

I always knew this experience would be life changing. I was aware that by making this move I would be testing everything I think I know about the world from the 21 short years I have existed on this planet. I guess I just didn’t realise I’d be learning things before I even boarded my plane.

So, for now – I’m letting go. I’m rolling with it, taking things as they come and hoping and praying I can keep my feet on the ground.

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Dear Agony Aunt I’m thinking about getting my eyebrow pierced but I’m a bit scared something will go wrong. How safe is it?

From Holey Student

Dear Agony Aunt I’m really safe when it comes to sex, but I still want to take a ChyIamdia test just to be sure. I don’t have a lot of money, but where do I go to get one and will it hurt?

From Confused

Dear Holey Student,

Piercing of the skin is an invasive procedure and there is always a chance something could go wrong. The most common complication after piercing is infection. If you get an infection it can be painful, unsightly and could if severe enough lead to permanent scarring. There is also a risk of more serious infections like HIV and Hepatitis. Lots of people have piercings and experience no problems.

I suggest you do your homework before you choose where to go for a piercing.

Shop around. The place should be clean and hygienic. Check that the piercers wear disposable latex gloves and only use brand new sterilised needles. Don’t be afraid to ask lots of questions, a genuine respectable piercer will be happy to show you their sterilising procedures, if they’re not get the hell out of there. Some local councils keep registers of approved piercers. Your councils’ number will be in the phone directory. After the procedure you should be given instructions on how to look after your piercing. If you are worried that it doesn’t feel right or it looks ‘yucky’ get a medical opinion from a doctor or nurse.

Dear Confused

Relax. Having a Chlamydia test does not hurt. Chlamydia is a sexually transmitted infection and is spread through unprotected sex (sex without a condom). It’s very common and as many as one in 10 16-25 year olds have it. If you’ve ever had unprotected sex then it’s a very good idea to get checked. Most infected people will feel fine and have no symptoms, a few might experience some discharge, burning when peeing or pain during sex. If left untreated it can cause pain and infertility for both guys and girls. The test is quick and simple and if you’re under 25 years old it’s free. If you test positive treatment is quick and easy. So, why not? You can get tested at Health Counselling and Wellbeing, Family Planning, Auckland sexual health clinics or if you prefer, your own family doctor. For more information on sexually transmitted infections go to:

www.familyplanning.org.nz www.sexfiles.co.nz www.sexualhealth.co.nz

www.rottentomatoes.com

by Samantha McQueen If you haven’t figured out by now, I’m pretty obsessed with movies. To me, winter is best spent in bed with a hot water bottle and pile of rented DVDs at my side, while ticking off my cinematic to-do list. Rotten Tomatoes is my newest website obsession and it’s not hard to see why; it combines my love of movies, actors and inside scoop all in a handy, easy-to-navigate site. For those who have never visited this gem, its primary function is to collaborate all the reviews for a certain film to determine whether it is a ‘fresh’ tomato movie, or a ‘rotten’ tomato movie. If you rely on reviews to decide whether you should spend your last remaining dollars at the movies, then this site is perfect. For example, Inception – the highly anticipated film from Christopher Nolan – is currently sitting on 85

26

per cent, or 8.2/10. Because it came out in the US a week earlier than here, we can see early on that an overwhelming majority think it’s good. On the flipside, the latest Adam Sandler comedy, Grown Ups, which doesn’t come out here till September, is sitting on 10 per cent.

You can also search for your favourite actors and get a list of all their movies, and their ratings, which comes in handy if you’re planning a Meryl Streep movie marathon. There’s also a section dedicated to the latest movie news, such as movie stills, casting decisions and interviews, and a special trailer section as well. Basically, this website is a movielovers’ dream, so jump on it and start planning the ultimate rainy day.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Just because “this semester will be different” doesn’t mean you should go making promises you can’t keep.

You will not join the gym.

words by

Tenani French

ILLustrations

Samantha M

by

cSkimming

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Kids will be a problem for you this week. Forget to take your pill?

Love it

Outrageous Fortune returns

New Zealand’s best loved TV show is back with a vengeance. The first episode of this last ever episode won its time slot, delivering TV3 its biggest ever audience and was more than double the equally as dramatic penultimate episode of Grey’s Anatomy over on TV2. The series is off to an interesting start with Cheryl pleading guilty to the murder of a cop, setting the show up for an interesting and potentially heartbreaking final season. Catch up with 3 On Demand and then set your alarms for 8:30pm Tuesdays on TV3.

GEMINI (May 21-June 21) Superiors will cause some conflict for you and your friends this weekend. Stay away from drugs and police. Also, don’t swear at your boss.

CANCER (June 22-July 22) There are some things that you just shouldn’t eat.

Remember that and your week will go smoothly.

Lucky number – 9.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Listen to it!

Sleigh Bells - Treats

The debut album from this Brooklyn duo is a new kind of monster. At once it’s rough, loud and aggressive, but it remains fun and uplifting throughout. If you could make sweet, sweet music out of explosions, this is what it would sound like.

A melodic vocal is weaved throughout the noise and provides a catchy anchor for listeners to follow. Like a guide through the confusion of the music itself, the lyrics are catchy, repetitive and easy to sing along to. You’ll either love it or hate it, but Sleigh Bells brings something different to the current crop of bFM fodder.

The stars suggest avoiding that Tom Cruise movie Knight and Day. They say that it sucks.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Your power bill is through the roof because of that electric blanket you love so much. Buy a snuggie and save big bucks this winter.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) It’s finally time to chase your dream of being a Transformer. Follow your heart. Your lucky fruit for this week is the watermelon. Good luck finding one.

Also, good luck with the Transformer thing.

Sad about it...

Moko’s death

So our favourite dolphin friend has died. It’s a sad time. For a little while we got to experience our very own local Flipper hanging out with people up and down the east coast, and becoming something of a local celebrity at the same time. But alas all good things must come to an end, and it seems Moko has met his. Farewell, my finned friend, I hope one day we have another animal friend like you.

SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) Danger! Don’t wear merino undies during reorientation. You might get lucky, and how dumb would you look with merino undies? Answer – very dumb.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Over it!

FIFA World Cup

Okay, okay… it was pretty cool that we got in and had a bit of a kick around but it’s quite funny how many people pretend they’ve always been massive football fans when the reality they’re not. As a nation we only like to acknowledge achievements if they make us look good as a whole (and especially on the international stage). Hopefully now people will realise there is more to sport than rugby, and perhaps the others deserve some attention (and dare I say... funding?).

If there’s something you think the student masses of AUT need to know about, send us an email to debate@aut.ac.nz with Suggestions in the subject line.

issue 15 June 2010

You’ll be faced with a massive impossible-sounding challenge this week. Don’t even bother.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Summer will be here in four months. It is definitely time to start growing a mullet.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) That special someone doesn’t like you. Stink.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) You’re not going to succeed this semester unless you stop playing online games. Seriously, cut it out.

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Jane Mow: Fashion Dynamo in the Making

by Heather Rutherford

W

hen I first spoke to 2nd year fashion student Jane Mow about her work, I had a brief moment in which I was temporarily transported back to one particular poem I read in high school, The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost. At the end it had three lines:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less travelled by, And that has made all the difference.

Mow struck me as someone who has never been the sort of person to choose the most obvious and easiest path in life. After graduating high school, it wasn’t immediately assumed that this intelligent young girl would study fashion. The process of finding her future calling was years of life experience in the making, dabbling in careers such as law and aviation while working in fashion retail parttime. While a lot of people are quick to jump into tertiary study after high school, Mow took her time and found that she appreciated her study even more and took less for granted. “I definitely made the right decision in the end, more doors have opened for me through fashion than anything else in my life,” she told me.

And open for her they have, even though being a modest character, she would be reluctant to tell you just how many doors have opened. Since deciding on her career path, Mow has scored an internship with New Zealand fashion designer Sherie Muijs, and then won the prestigious AUT ‘Excellence in Innovation’ award which is only given out to one student per year of study at AUT. When I asked her the token question of “what is the inspiration behind your fashion design work?” she didn’t quite know how to explain. Understandably of course, some concepts are just too complicated to be easily put into words.

While many designers take their inspiration from visual cues and translate them quite literally, Mow takes her inspiration from the complexities of raw-edged emotion, tempering it with design. For instance, the Incarcérés dress, which draws from the abstract idea of confinement within a supposedly free society.

This feeling of confinement, anger and tension adds a certain weight to the dress which allows it its own platform and sets it apart from any thing else. On a similar note, Mow’s second year fashion assignment, the Blessés pant also draws on emotion for inspiration, but this time from a more positive perspective. For this, Mow’s took inspiration from the 1950s, a time in which developing forms of African-American music “helped heal the wounds of segregation”. Once again, what is important about the design of the pants is the “upbeat” and optimistic feel she tried to convey, as well as drawing on the style of clothing at the time.

Another aspect she uses in her design is the idea of the wearer being able to have a certain amount of control about how the garment can be worn. For example, the Panneau skirt, a first year assignment, can be worn in five different ways by

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re-arranging various parts. And the Incarcérés dress, in reference to the ideas of control and confinement, allows the wearer to alter the silhouette in any way they see fit.

Mow is living proof that perseverance and passion can overcome just about anything. After a rocky start to the year, it has been these two attributes that have driven her to push herself and try her strength more than ever. She has just been accepted into the Amsterdam Fashion Institute in the Netherlands for a student exchange in second semester this year. To Mow, Amsterdam offers the chance to reach her true potential as a designer, and then to bring this experience back to the New Zealand menswear market (her chosen niche).

Europe, the fashion hub of the world, is so varied and developed in design and art, is ultimate destination for an aspiring young designer such as herself. Getting together the funding for the exchange is still an ongoing task. She has applied for numerous scholarships, such as the AMP ‘Do Your Thing’ competition, in which people vote for their favourite person to win the scholarship.

After talking to Mow, it struck me how much ambition and motivation this girl must have to have gotten her self so far. She has by no means taken the most direct path but she has used this experience to influence and inspire her work. The career and study changes, as well as the ambitious goals and high expectations for herself, will just serve to fuel her determination to push even further. Just like the poem she brought to mind, she is taking the more difficult and ambitious road “less travelled”, and this will make all the difference.

Incarceres dress

by Jane Mow

with Joseph Mow

Sandy May

Rahia Timutimu

Jesse Owen

3rd year Bachelor of communications

3rd year TV presenter & Bachelor Comunications

2nd year Fashion Design

Singlet, shirt, scarf & coat: Vintage Jeans: Glassons, Boots: Can’t remember where from

Coat: Cue, Blouse: Veronica Maine Pants: Vamp, Boots: Overland

T-shirt: Own design Jeans & gloves: Vintage Boots: Area 51

ARE YOU A GRADUATE STUDYING TO BECOME A SECONDARY TEACHER? Yes? Excellent!

We need great Chemistry, Mathematics, Physics, and Technology teachers. So if you have a degree with at least one 300-level paper in any one of these subjects, and you are enrolled in a Graduate Diploma of Secondary Teaching commencing mid-year 2010, then you could qualify for a TeachNZ scholarship that pays your core study fees and an allowance of up to $10,000.

But you have to be quick. TeachNZ Mid-year Graduate Scholarships for study in 2010 are now open and close on 13 August 2010.

Ogilvy_MI0645

To find out more about the TeachNZ Mid-year Graduate Scholarships, visit the TeachNZ website, www.TeachNZ.govt.nz

issue 15 June 2010

29

Recovery Eminem

Eclipse The Twilight Saga

The long road to redemption and a return to

I’m no ‘Twi-hard’, but I enjoyed the first two films

CD review by Mike Atkins

relevancy after a career slump is one that’s fraught with cliché. After the bad album, comes the one that’s not great, but is respectable; It’s a predictable story for every artist who’s past their prime. Recovery is that CD for Eminem… with one twist.

The twist is that no one is as mad or as full of regret over that career slump as Eminem himself is. No former fan who listened to Relapse, and became disillusioned could dislike that album as much as Em does (“Fuck that last CD/ That shit’s in the trash”). Another cliché Eminem plays through with a twist here is the artist who’s pilloried by critics, and writes a song about how they don’t know what they are talking about. Except in Em’s version he seems angrier at the critics for assuming he doesn’t understand the faults with Relapse, than he is at them for pointing them out.

My reaction to Relapse was to second guess whether or not he was even that great in the first place. Re-listening to The Slim Shady Show, it’s clear that he was as great as we remember him being. But back then, the character he played was an angry young man, who hated himself for all the evil thoughts that he couldn’t stop thinking. Now that angry young man hates himself for making some not very good music; the stakes are lower. And that’s the problem.

That’s what gives Recovery the feel of a dinosaur rocker, who could make the best music that they could possibly make, and it still wouldn’t be fair to compare it to what they’d done in their prime. It’s perverse to have those thoughts about someone whose career is just a mite over a decade old, but hey, that’s what it is.

But Eminem is making the best music that he, at this stage, can. If The Marshall Mathers LP, and The Slim Shady Show didn’t exist, we’d be saying that he’d hit this one out of the park. Unlike those dinosaur rockers, Em doesn’t sound tired. Angry is angry, regardless of the lack of gravitas to what you’re angry about. The I-hate-my-family ballad 25 to Life might lose something in being more nuanced and reasoned than say, Cleaning Out My Closet, but he delivers it with just as much pained passion than he would’ve done in the early decade.

It’s the same when he’s being shocking, like on Seduction. He’s not nearly as shocking as he was, or as other rappers are when they’re still in rapping 101. But if you didn’t understand English, and just went by the sound of the words, and the way he spat them, you might believe he was being quite disgusting.

So, he’s just as passionate, but smarter about it; so, how come it’s not as good as what he’s done in the past? In short: intellectualism is overrated. He’s not taking the same sort of stupid risks that he did. The reason is obvious; he doesn’t want to embarrass himself. But that can make it a bit dour.

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Directed by David Slade Film review by Celeste Gorrell Anstiss

in this teen vampire romance.

I may even have admitted to being a little bit Team Edward.

But after enduring Eclipse I’m well and truly on Team Twilight Sucks.

Let’s be honest - the movie was terrible. It was merely floating on the hype of the previous two films, relying on the idea that viewers already felt some sort of deep sentiment for the three main characters and their wee ménage-trios.

The plot is held together by Bella’s (Kristen Stewart) tormenting choice: does she marry her blood-sucking boyfriend Edward (Robert Pattinson) and be forever among the undead, or does she fancy life on the Indian Reservation with the often shirtless Jacob (Taylor Lautner) and the rest of his wolf pack?

Excuse my scepticism, but does this not beg the question: bestiality or necrophilia?

Now it’s all very well young Bella is having a serious think about the complexity of her decision. Both are extremely attractive boys that promise to put their lives on the line to protect her. What woman wouldn’t be wooed by that? The problem is she is reckless with the hearts of her two boys, simultaneously stringing them both along with kisses and deep and meaningful stares. That’s not the sort of conduct I like to see in a heroine. Over two long hours, she swings between the two so many times that it feels like a hypnotist’s watch putting me into a deep sleep.

Love triangles aside, evil vamp Victoria is creating an army of bloodthirsty newborns (Twi-speak for recently converted vampires) to Forks to kill Bella, as revenge for Edward killing her mate in the first film. The fight scenes have been hyped up by the media to encourage males to give Eclipse a chance and in the previous films, they have always been an unexpected highlight. With angsty music and well-executed stunts, they liven up an otherwise plodding storyline.

I hoped with an army of newborns, lead by the delicious Riley (Xavier Samuel), would make for a bloody battle, but I was let down by a cheesy, predictable and short fight, with few surprising casualties.

It wasn’t all bad though. British director David Slade (Hard Candy, 30 Days of Night) - new to the Twilight franchise – brought slickness and sophistication to Eclipse, and someone managed to coax out some half-way decent performances from the leads. Stewart has the sullen, awkward teenager act down pat, and Pattinson has finally managed to inject some much-needed anger into his role.

Lautner’s acting skills, however, were overshadowed by his 37 abs, but judging by the screams of the girls, they didn’t mind. Visually, the film looks more impressive than its predecessors (though to be honest, the increased budget would have played a part as well). Regardless, flashy graphics and camera tricks do little to compensate for what it a tired and slow moving story.

Twilight films are always going to bring in the big bucks at the box office, thanks to its fans, but Eclipse fails to provide anything other than two long hours of eye-candy, and unfortunately, that’s not enough this time.

Red Dead Redemption PS3 and XBOX 360 Game Review by Victor Abbott

So, I’m going to hands down say, Red Dead Redemption

is one of THE best games I have EVER played. Rockstar did an amazing job with the story telling and the game itself feels so real.

Basically, the game has us playing John Marston, a badass cowboy who has been employed by a sector of the government to hunt down former associates of his who he once ran in a gang with. We find that he is doing so in order to save his family as these ‘government’ officials have kidnapped his wife and son and blackmailed Marston into hunting down these men and bringing them to ‘justice’.

People would probably think that because it’s the wild west there would be large open areas with nothing to do, and while there are areas of such, it isn’t to the point where there is nothing at all to do. There is always a random event where people require your help fending off bandits, retrieving a stolen horse, or even finding someone they have lost. This leaves you never feeling that you aren’t doing anything.

As with any Rockstar game, there is the main story (which can take around 18 hours or so depending on your game style) and the side-quests which range from; go here, kill this guy, to, my stupid son is lost in the woods, help me find him before he’s grizzly bear meat. And there’s plenty in between which also appeal to all the stereotypical western activities.

And speaking of stereotypes, pretty much everything Western stereotype you can think of made its way in to this game, there’s poker, five finger fillet, Crazy Mexicans, Wise Indians, duals, magnums, sweaty cowboys, tumble weed, cow herding, hunting, horseback riding, shots of rum, hogtying a whore and putting them on a train track… just EVERYTHING you can think of when thinking about a western setting.

Multiplayer also manages to sneak its way in adding what are essentially limitless hours on top of an already expansive open world game. You have classic modes like Deathmatch, Team Deathmatch and Capture the Flag although each have had a small twist added to coincide with the Western setting.

One thing I will say that bothers me about this game is the fact that apparently people in the early 1900’s couldn’t swim. That’s right, you can walk into water, but the moment that water reaches your height, you immediately die, which is kind of lame, but doesn’t really make that much of a mark as the only real major stretch of water is the river between USA and Mexico, (oh yes, if you didn’t know you go to both countries in this game as you play on both bordering sides.)

Final words would have to be, if you have a PS3 or a 360 and loved Grand Theft Auto 4, then GO BUY THIS GAME if you don’t already have it. And for those of you out there looking for a game to kill a few weeks with then definitely give this a shot. Cowboys, face melting visuals, exquisite storyline and some great multiplayer action all add up to a supreme title which I give a nice 10/10.

issue 15 June 2010

Night Work Scissor Sisters

CD Review by Anna Loren

I was lucky enough to interview Jake Shears, the

male vocalist for New York glam-rock/disco band Scissor Sisters, a few months ago. This album was still a fair way off being released then, but Shears’ excitement, his utter belief in and love for this latest project, threaded through our entire conversation despite the fact he’d been up for days shooting videos, flying long-haul and spending inordinate amounts of time in strip clubs! The band, he explained, had scrapped an entire album in 2009 following some blunt, but ultimately greatly appreciated words from close friend Elton John; Night Work is thus the result of both lengthy studio time and a whole lot of soulsearching. Shears’ excitement was infectious, and I got off the phone itching to get my hands on a copy of the album.

Months later, I can say this unequivocally: The extra time and effort poured into Night Work was worth it. The album is chock-full of the unabashedly tacky 80’s-inspired disco and foot-tapping electro-pop that Scissor Sisters are known for, with a few surprising twists. Sir Ian McKellen has a spoken-word cameo in Invisible Light. Skin Tight features soaring melodies and hiccuping vocals with more than a hint of Cyndi Lauper. And lead single Fire With Fire is a victorious power ballad whose lyrics read somewhat autobiographically: It used to seem we were number one, but now it sounds so far away / I had a dream we were running from some blazing arrows yesterday / You said fight fire with fire. If you thought this band was a one-trick pony, think again.

That being said, the Sisters made their name through being delightfully perverse, and to that end, long-time fans will enjoy this album. Shears has dubbed Night Work their sexiest record yet - a big call for a band who take their name from a lesbian sexual position! - and you can be forgiven for skipping the song Any Which Way while your mum’s in the room (Shears screeches ‘give me all your dark meat’ in his trademark falsetto, followed by female vocalist Ana Matronic imploring a lover to ‘take me... in front of my parents’. Don’t say I didn’t warn you). But there’s something refreshing and fun about the band’s portrayal of queer sexuality right down to the cover art, a campy, tongue-in-cheek homage to the Rolling Stones’ classic Sticky Fingers. And filthy though the lyrics are at times, you can’t help singing along.

While the inclusion of a couple of tracks (Harder You Get for instance) reads like filler, it’s worth remembering that, at its heart, this is a dance album. It’s sometimes vapid and often sleazy, but it’s also unpretentious, exquisitely crafted (thanks to producer Stuart Price) and downright addictive. Four years after the release of their last album, the Scissor Sisters are back with a vengeance.

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he t t o Sp e c n e r Diffe

issue 15 June 2010

33

micro-celebs City Campus

Rachel Jury Bachelor of Communication Studies

How did you spend the winter break?

Went down to Mardi Gras in Ohakune What is your signature dish in the kitchen?

Spaghetti Bolognese If you could come back as anyone or anything, what would it be and why?

Audrey Hepburn – she’s just amazing Who is your musical guilty pleasure?

60s music. I can’t name one artist What are your thoughts on the Mel Gibson rants?

I’m judging him even though I shouldn’t. He sounds like a bad man

Amy Roberts Bachelor of Communication Studies

How did you spend the winter break?

At Mardi Gras in Ohakune and working What is your signature dish in the kitchen?

Seafood Chowder – so good.

If you could come back as anyone or anything, what would it be and why?

I’m going to say Eva Longoria because I really want her legs Who is your musical guilty pleasure?

Lady Gaga. I’m in love with her. Everyone hassles me about it.

What are your thoughts on the Mel Gibson rants?

I say give the kid to the mum. He doesn’t deserve the kid.

Pankaj Sharma Certificate in Computer Science

How did you spend the winter break?

Sleeping, parting and working What is your signature dish in the kitchen?

Pizza If you could come back as anyone or anything, what would it be and why?

I’d be me again. I like how cool I am Who is your musical guilty pleasure?

Justin Bieber What are your thoughts on the Mel Gibson rants?

What’s happened with Mel Gibson?

Dave Liang Bachelor of Business

How did you spend the winter break?

Eating a lot of soup What is your signature dish in the kitchen?

Scrambled eggs If you could come back as anyone or anything, what would it be and why?

I’d come back as an ant because they’re small and you don’t get seen Who is your musical guilty pleasure?

Eminem. He’s real good at the moment What are your thoughts on the Mel Gibson rants?

I listened to it 10 times and it was so funny. Mind you, I feel sorry for his wife

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Ivon Kumar Bachelor of Mechanical Engineering

How did you spend the winter break?

Fixing cars What is your signature dish in the kitchen?

Baked beans If you could come back as anyone or anything, what would it be and why?

Maybe a lion, because they just dominate everything Who is your musical guilty pleasure?

I’d have to say Justin Bieber What are your thoughts on the Mel Gibson rants?

I dunno – they only taped that conversation. They didn’t have what happened before

This could be YOU! Watch out for debate around campus --you could be the next micro-celeb!

issue 15 June 2010

35

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