Debate | Issue 6 | Ships

Debate ISSUE 6| SHIPS | 2021

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DESIGNER Kwok Yi Lee

Contents

ILLUSTRATOR Yi Jong

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EDITOR Rebecca Zhong debate@aut.ac.nz

EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Andrew Broadley FEATURE WRITER Alana McConnell SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER Nam Woon Kim LIFESTYLE AND CULTURE EDITOR Lucy Wormald STUDENT NEWS REPORTER Justin Wong NEWS WRITER Justin Hu ADVERTISING Jesse Jones jesse.jones@aut.ac.nz PRINTER Nicholson Print Solutions

DISCLAIMER Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AUTSA, its advertisers, contributors, Nicholson Print Solutions or its subsidiaries.

This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUT STUDENT ASSOCIATION (“AUTSA”).

Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly. Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AUTSA.

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From the Editor

Te Ara Poutama Student Rep Resigns Over 'False Allegations', Blasts AUSTA 'Lip Service'

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Māori Academics Critical of AUT’s Use of Indigenous Values

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It’s Not Just You: StudyLink Phone Waiting Times Triple Over The Last Three Years

10 Consumed 12

What's On

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Why Are All the Ships From Panama? (I Failed to Understand the Brief...)

16 Tremors 18

Re-O Week Timetable

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A Love Letter to Alain de Botton

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What Ship Are You? (I Failed to Understand the Brief... Again.)

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My Experiences on Queer Dating

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Puzzles

Debate is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).

FOLLOW DEBATE! debatemag.com debate_mag autsadebate debate@aut.ac.nz

Cover illustration by Yi Jong (she/her)

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From the Editor Kia Ora, After the trials and tribulations of Semester 1, I’m sure we’re all pretty keen to reinvent ourselves. This semester is the one where we actually do our readings, stop crying over ugly Tinder dates and actually use that Moleskine planner that was far too expensive to warrant only writing in for one week.

and success as getting financial advice from a boomer or listening to a shore lad on how to climb the corporate ladder.

Like yeah, I should save more, but also that isn’t going to help me buy a house anytime soon. And yeah I get it, I should be more assertive and demand that pay rise, but I’m also an Asian female and I’m going to be classed as difficult. Frankly,

Lately, I've been telling my mates that

the promise of abundance and wealth

I’m manifesting a white girl’s 5:30am

operates within a white body. And this

morning routine full of Yoga with

dissonance in agency just ain’t hot imo.

Adrienne, oat milk matcha lattes and

Am I really just out here saying “maybe

aesthetic notion layouts. If this doesn’t

you manifested it, maybe it’s white

amalgamate into a six figure salary I'm

privilege”? Yeah, not far from it aye.

blaming the patriarchy.

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as conducive to my own personal growth

On another note, the Olympics are

But in truth, the concept of manifesting

really just proving the extent to which

has never really sat right with me. I’m far

white supremacy straight up fears

from spiritual so that's partly to blame.

nothing like it fears Black excellence. A

But the idea of manifesting also seems

quick google search and you’ll note the

countless ways that the organisation has contributed towards racial exclusion in just a matter of days. In an op-ed piece on NBC, Attorney Chase Strangio writes “bodies are often coded as appropriately ‘male’ or appropriately ‘female’ through a lens of racism and white supremacy. And this lens is used to police some bodies in the alleged service of others.” The regulations imposed on athletes are directly utilised to marginalise Black women.

To end on, I think it’s about time I introduce this issue's theme, ‘Ships.’ This issue is concerned with all things related to friendships and relationships. Well that was the intention... our editorial assistant Andy misunderstood the brief and took it a bit too literally. Rather than spoiling his fuck up, I encourage you all to just go on and read the issue.

Ngā mihi, Rebecca

Te Ara Poutama Student Rep Resigns Over ‘False Allegations’, Blasts AUTSA ‘Lip Service’

By Justin Wong (he/him) A former member of AUTSA’s Student Representative Council (SRC) said her departure was forced by “false allegations”, slamming the student association as “a lot of lip service” that serves mainstream students and accused its upper management for being unresponsive.

Tasha Tahā Henneker was Te Ara Poutama’s faculty representative on the SRC but resigned early May. In her resignation letter, Henneker said there had been allegations that she was starting a petition and decided it is in her best interest to “not to be part of a community that would place false allegations with no clarification on an individual”.

She denied starting a petition, saying the situation “has been largely misconstrued, and I do not have the faith that this would not happen again.”

“I entered the SRC to represent the best interests of the Te Ara Poutama faculty students, however the issues I have discussed with others have instead been twisted against me.”

She also warned of a “large discourse” between AUTSA and Te Ara Poutama students that needs to be resolved in the letter, and said she does not “have the mental capacity to try and change this.”

AUTSA President Sisifa Lui said in a response to Henneker’s resignation letter that she offered to mediate between the two SRC members, but Ms Henneker declined and resigned.

The statement also said Te Ara Poutama students remain “a vital and much-loved part of our community” and AUTSA’s Representation staff team would support Te Ara Poutama students until a new representative is appointed.

Neither of the statements go into more details on the allegations, but Henneker told Debate that they came from an SRC member, who claimed members were “hounded” into signing a petition that called to exclude General Manager Simon Bell from AUTSA’s governance board and future SRC meetings and would have been handed in on May 7. From Debate’s understanding, the General Manager is not a member of the governance board, and instead reports to them.

She said she only knew of its alleged existence after being told by email on May

Henneker said there had been allegations that she was starting a petition and decided it is in her best interest to “not to be part of a community that would place false allegations with no clarification on an individual”.

4 and the SRC member who made the allegations had not provided any evidence.

“I actually told them if a petition came through with my signature on it, I would like legal action taken because that’s forging signatures.

“And I did offer for them to go through my laptop right then and there because there was no petition.”

However, Henneker admitted she was preparing to draft a critical letter of AUTSA for Te Ara Poutama students to sign after some expressed concern in the association’s ability to represent them.

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"The SRC has lots of passionate members on there.

There’s lots of people who want to make a change for their students but they can’t – AUTSA doesn’t want to deal with the bigger picture."

She said while monthly SRC meetings raised different issues on mobility parking or gender-neutral bathrooms, noncommunication with upper management left a lot to be achieved, with plans for the SRC to participate ina Noho Marae and creating a graduation letter in te reo Māori not going ahead because senior officials did not reply to emails.

“I don’t feel like there is student representation for anything, except for the average student who passes and might need basic support. That’s why my graduation letter project never went through because I need to know how to do it.”

Minutes for the March SRC meeting showed a proposal for a Noho Marae was presented, with the Council deciding Ms Henneker and two other SRC members would liaise it with the Office of Māori Advancement.

Responding to queries from Debate, AUTSA General Manager Simon Bell claimed that staff never received requests for additional support on the initiative.

He also said AUTSA already connected Ms Henneker with AUT on the te reo graduation letter because the student association does not run graduations, but it was never completed due to time constraints.

Debate understands some SRC members and AUTSA staff have already raised similar concerns on the association’s responsiveness and effectiveness with AUT.

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This comes after the student association failed to secure drug testing for its O-week concert and mishandled the process to hire a new designer for Debate, which forced the student magazine to postpone issue 5.

AUTSA was also questioned for its absence in the parliamentary student accommodation inquiry.

Debate also understands AUTSA is preparing a code of conduct, with four working groups aiming to publish a draft

by August and finalise it by September.

Henneker said it was long overdue.

“There should be a way to deal with harassment, bullying and victimisation within the SRC”, she said.

“There’s heaps of people, heaps of different backgrounds, and there’s going to be clashes and allegations.”

AUTSA’s constitution ruled that if a position becomes vacant, the SRC must “give written notice of the vacancy as soon as possible” and “fill any vacancies as soon as practicable”.

As of late June, the student association is still yet to announce Henneker’s resignation on its social media pages and announce its plans to fill the position and the vacant North Campus Accommodation Officer role.

The SRC meeting on May 17 was scheduled to discuss the issue but no minutes have been released more than a month later.

Lui said she cannot comment on whether the allegations Henneker raised were true or false as the resignation “impeded” the investigation.

She also said AUTSA staff still have her confidence to support students, and expected SRC members to raise concerns with her.

“We acknowledge that whilst none of us are perfect, and we live in an imperfect world, we strive to improve every day, we can only do so if parties raise their concerns with us.”

Mr Bell did not respond to the claims of miscommunication, but said AUTSA has “dramatically increased the resources to directly support the Student Council” over the past 12 months.

However, Henneker does not want others to go through what she experienced.

“If anyone asks me, ‘should I run for TAP [Te Ara Poutama] Rep?’, I would be like ‘no’.

“The SRC has lots of passionate members on there. There’s lots of people who want to make a change for their students but they can’t – AUTSA doesn’t want to deal with the bigger picture.

“AUTSA blocks too much – they will not get anything done.” 

Māori Academics Critical of AUT’s Use of Indigenous Values

By Justin Hu (he/him) A new research article says that tangata whenua are being harmed by AUT using ‘tika’, ‘pono’ and ‘aroha’ as its official values.

Researchers wrote that the university’s existing approach “damages Māori culture, language and people.”

The Indigenous academics called for an educational rāhui across the university, in order for staff and students to have conversations and to learn more about embracing te reo and tikanga Māori.

Paper co-author and Associate Professor Georgina Stewart said that the literaturebased research had come out of several one-day workshops that involved wānanga with Māori staff.

Speaking with Debate, the associate professor said that Māori staff were uneasy with how the three Māori concepts were directly equated with the English translations of ‘integrity’, ‘respect’ and ‘compassion.’

The paper identified three issues with AUT’s usage of the values. The researchers wrote that the three Māori values were concepts deeply informWed by Indigenous philosophy and culture, and therefore couldn’t be equated with a single English term each.

“Tika, pono and aroha are not separate nor separable concepts, but are closely intertwined aspects of traditional Māori understandings of the nature of reality, of the human, and of right action in the world, underpinned by other key Māori concepts such as mana and tapu.

“Pono is closest to truth. Tika is a central principle of ethical behaviour towards other people and the world. Aroha is a supreme power and the essence of humanity.

“To equate pono with respect, tika with integrity, and aroha with compassion falls far short of the full Māori meanings,” the paper said.

Prof Stewart explains: “We can't take language and culture and think of them as separate things, they’re interwoven.

Every language from every ethnic group encapsulates the thinking, and that's the concept that we call worldview.

“Cultural philosophy is found in the natural language. So when we appropriate Māori words into an English context and give them meanings that are not consistent with their traditional Māori meanings, that's where the idea of epistemic violence or symbolic violence comes in.”

The associate professor also said that more care could have been taken when first introducing the values to staff.

The researchers added that the university had been “ambivalent” about integrating the values into the institution, citing that they only appeared once somewhere on the AUT website.

A key idea in the paper was that of the epistemic violence and symbolic violence caused by the misappropriation of tikanga Māori in everyday life, Prof Stewart says.

“The central message of the article is more a reflection or comment about a wider scenario — we weren't trying to say that AUT is wrong and other people have it right.

“I wanted to comment on this general kind of fad or trend — things like bilingual signage and people using Māori greetings on their emails.

Like, when I'm called to a meeting in the Ministry of Education in Wellington these days, it's inevitable that every Pākehā person gets up and does some sort of mihi and pepeha.”

The associate professor says that there is “a fine line between embracing versus appropriating te reo and tikanga Māori” that institutions like AUT and others have to grapple with.

“I have colleagues who are using Google Translate to prepare a mihi for their classes.

“Now, is that a good thing or a bad thing?

I don't know, but I think it's a thing that we should think about. So it's not so much about saying this is wrong, or this is right, but saying we need to think more carefully about this,” Prof Stewart said.

In the paper, Māori researchers called for an education rāhui to be placed on how the AUT community thinks about and uses the university’s three values. This would signal that more learning is needed about their full meanings and relevant tikanga.

“It was flagging a Māori concern within the discourse environment, the symbolic culture of AUT — to say to the general community that there is more that we need to think about, and more that we need to learn, and that we need to have good conversations to do that,” explains Prof Stewart.

“Rāhui is not about managing resources, but rather about managing people’s behaviour in relation to the resource. Rāhui is a cultural framework that safeguards mana and tapu.” 

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It’s Not Just You: StudyLink Phone Waiting Times Triple Over The Last Three Years

By Justin Hu (he/him) Still waiting on hold about that student loan? Studylink says that you can blame the housing crisis.

The average time that students have spent on hold with Studylink has more than tripled in the last three years, according to figures obtained by Debate, after services changed to meet the demand of more hardship-related calls.

The data, obtained under the Official Information Act, show that waiting times on calls have risen from an average of around two minutes in 2018 to just under nine minutes in 2019. This trend continued last year with calls averaging at 11 minutes and 36 seconds; excluding February 2020, March 2020 and August 2020.

Callers in March this year waited around 20 minutes while callers in April waited for around 12. Compare this to around eight minutes in April 2019 and two minutes in April 2018.

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The ministry specifically pointed to housing affordability as a driver of increased demand which has led to longer waiting times, in a written response to Debate's original request for information.

“As a result of rising housing costs, clients are increasingly in need of the hardship assistance that can be provided over the phone,” the ministry said.

The Ministry of Social Development’s general manager of call centre services, Geoff Cook, continued by saying that the rise was a result of rising demand for services and an expansion of what callers could get done over the phone.

“We have seen an increase in demand since 2018, both in terms of the numbers of students applying for assistance, as well as the frequency and complexity of information and support being managed by phone."

Before the changes, callers would only be able to access support for student loans, allowances and living costs. Following the changes, students are now able to process special needs grants or get help transferring to or from a benefit, according to the ministry.

Cook continued: “Our Studylink services expanded in 2018 to provide more complete, wrap-around support for students. We’re able to help with financial assistance for food, housing costs, electricity, water tanks, firewood, clothing and much more.”

“More recently we’ve had another surge in Studylink applications, possibly due to Covid 19 economic impacts as more people opt to study due to job uncertainty,” Cook said.

He went on to say that the change made it easier for students by reducing follow-up appointments with Work and Income. But added that Studylink was working on a balancing act between service quality and acceptable waiting times.

New Zealand Union of Students' Associations president Andrew Lessells said that the time spent waiting is unacceptable and disproportionately affects vulnerable students.

“While there are more services available to those who wait on hold, those most likely to need support are also those who can’t afford to wait on hold for half an hour,” Lessells said.

In February this year, callers had to wait an average of 28 minutes to have their call answered. This was comparable to the 31 minutes waited by callers in March 2020, when one student had to wait nearly two hours for service.

“When students are studying full-time and working multiple jobs to survive, systems need to be more accessible, not less.

Advocacy group Renters United said that overall student hardship has been intensifying as a result of the lack of affordable homes. Speaking for the group, Salene Schloffel-Armstrong and Ruby Colwell said that the situation has become dire.

“The housing crisis is putting additional stress on students resulting in a huge variety of experiences of hardship,

When students are studying fulltime and working multiple jobs to survive, systems need to be more accessible, not less.

whether that is working full time alongside full-time study, difficulty affording living costs due to lack of work, or caring responsibilities etc.

“It is shocking how universal the experience of financial insecurity or substandard housing is for our student population,” the group said in a statement.

The group said students will have to increasingly rely on Studylink services for support.

“We believe that the unaffordability of housing is leading to students reaching out for more support across the board, from Studylink to students’ associations and universities’ hardship funds and advocacy services,” Lessells continued.

They added that increased waiting times for all Studylink users were representative of the wide-ranging impacts that housing insecurity would have in New Zealand. 

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Consumed

By Lucy Wormald (she/her)

Culture and Lifestyle Writer, Lucy Wormald, reflects on losing herself to an all-consuming relationship, and her journey somewhat back.

It’s funny, the gap between who you want to be and who you are. You want to be edgy, kind of aloof. You want to be self-contained, a thriving and sort of enterprising young woman. But what you are, is desperate to be in love.

Sometimes you try and teach yourself to be embarrassed by this but you can’t bring yourself to be. That is how devoted you are to the cause. You hope that this reads to the outside world as ‘romantic’, or at the very least ‘staunch’, but deep down you know it’s just pure and unfettered thirst.

Contrary to popular assumptions, this trait has not sprouted from a lack of parental affection. You don’t believe that true love will make you whole. You don't even feel

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particularly lonely. You just sense that there is an immense and delicious type of love that can be (has to be?!) felt.

This feeling is obscure but unabating, existing at your peripheries like the silvery tail of a memory or a word on the tip of your tongue.

Adding fuel to the fire, you have heard the stories of star-crossed lovers. You have seen The English Patient. Your mum and dad are goddamn soulmates. You nurture this collection of seeds with the rich soil of your imagination until they are swollen and monstrous fruit. You are the self-appointed Queen of Daydreams; by night, the MP for Delusion. And you spend a great deal of time being lovelorn over nobody in particular.

And so when someone comes along with dimples and good shoes and a sureness that is dazzling, you go for broke. You throw in all your chips; then the whole casino for good measure.

The sensation is intoxicating. It glimmers and is heady. You feel like you’re wading through honey. After so much anticipation, and fearing it fleeting, you drown yourself in this feeling.

In your head, you are constantly doing that thing people do on game shows where they clasp their hands together and shake them in victory. You take the relationship and photocopy it into 1 billion pamphlets and post it all over your life. You step back and look at your decorative work and nod in approval of your great taste.

In your head, you are constantly doing that thing people do on game shows where they clasp their hands together and shake them in victory.

You take the relationship and photocopy it into 1 billion pamphlets and post it all over your life.

You step back and look at your decorative work and nod in approval of your great taste.

The architecture of each of your thoughts begins to be built around this relationship.

You schedule your friends and your plans and your aspirations around it. Every decision made is threaded with it. It ain’t cute but you can’t help it. You tell yourself this is what love is. You’re drowning, remember, and it feels good.

You have always had a strong sense of self. You have known who you are without any inhibitions or premeditations for as long as you can remember. So it is confusing and dismaying when you start to feel very sharply like you are fading.

It becomes increasingly difficult to feel the edges of yourself. You can’t seem to find your best stories, your hottest takes, your penchant for wandering alone. You are rummaging and riffling and you cannot find a solitary thought that isn't pressed up against this relationship. As the cloak of romance begins to slip you consider filing a missing person report for yourself.

Stage two of drowning is sinking. And sink you do, every night when you are trying to sleep. Something does not feel right. Something does not feel okay. You feel like a spool of thread unravelling, becoming sparer and sparer. You don’t feel heard or seen or known.

And how can you be known? You shoved yourself down to the bottom of your rucksack. Or maybe you tossed yourself out in a spring clean. Forgotten, deemed non-essential. You were so transfixed on this other person you shrunk yourself down and pocketed yourself with other extraneous things – spare change, bus tickets, trigonometry.

It hits breaking point when you feel like something crucial is now irretrievable.

Some pearl, your power, some vital note of existence. You don’t feel like a real person except when backlit by the relationship.

You do a lot of reflecting. You pathologise and psychoanalyse yourself and Google things like attachment theory. But you know what has happened here. It was a simple trade. You gave yourself away. You just don't know how to fix it.

But you are young. You didn’t realise that the greatest things could be a privilege and a prison both. You didn’t know that a relationship could build a kingdom only to then take your power and enslave you to it.

You don’t yet have the ticket. You haven’t quite found the balance. So you occupy this strange space of remembering yourself, re-meeting yourself. It is liminal and unchartered. But you’re getting there. 

No longer desperate for love, you are desperate to find yourself. You remember brilliant moments of feeling embodied and you flick through everything you’ve ever done in a bid to re-trigger that feeling. You try meditating. You pump your personality up with hobbies like embroidery and jogging. You fail many times over to step outside of the relationship. You are lulled and seduced by the ease of existing within something, for something.

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What's On

Street Eats (Elemental Auckland)

Aotea Square Ice Rink

Where: Shed 10

When: Now till 1 August

When: 30–31 July

What: Strap on your skates and get ready to slide into winter with the Aotea Square Ice Rink! Auckland Live and Paradice Events are excited to bring back the much-loved ice rink and 35-metre, multi-level ice slide, plus a cool collection of icy adventures, themed parties, skating lessons, and more.

What: Set your taste buds loose down at Shed 10 this July, because Street Eats is an appetite whetting new event designed to thrill those of you who have good taste. Street food is great but when it’s prepared by Auckland’s restaurant chefs it’s taken to a whole new level.

Cost: $20–$35

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Where: Aotea Square

Cost: $10–$22

Pork and Poll Taxes Where: Herald Theatre, Aotea Centre When: 10–14 August What: Pork and Poll Taxes is a production presented by Proudly Asian Theatre and Hand Pulled Collective. Directed by Talia Pua, the play explores family sacrifice and displacement and the ties that hold Chinese immigrants together in 1800s New Zealand.

Cost: $20 for students

Candlelight: Best of Magical Movie Soundtracks Where: Weta Workshop Unleashed When: 8 August What: Relive your favourite movie moments like never before! Listen to the most wellknown and well-loved songs of all time performed live at this spell-binding concert!

Nostalgia and beautiful music are what you should expect at this breathtaking concert bathed in candlelight.

Cost: $30–$75

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Why Are All the Ships From Panama?

(I Failed to Understand the Brief...)

By Andrew Broadley (he/him) If you’ve ever watched the cargo ships coming into the docks (you probably haven’t) you may have noticed one thing they all have in common. Actually, they have quite a few things in common. But one sorta unexpected thing. They’re all from Panama?

Panama is home to the largest shipping fleet in the world. Larger than that of China or the United States. But it has little to do with Panama being the powerhouse of the seas, and more the powerhouse of making a little extra cash on the side. The OG side hustle. Like OnlyFans except, OnlyFlags. (That joke will make more sense later.)

Cargo ships spend most of their life on the open seas and because the open sea is big and scary it’s pretty important that ships have their current rego and WOF

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(I don’t think that’s what it’s called).

Because of this, a ship needs to have a place where it is registered. The place where it’ll get its engine cleaned up and new rims and window tints done. So every country has a ship register where they keep track of all their ships and all the ships need to be in one of these registers. And you would think a ship would be in the registry of the country it operates from or the place where the business is based.

You would think wrong. Some countries, such as Panama, don’t really have any requirements to go into their big boat registry. In fact, they have what is called an open registry. You don’t have to be from there, or live there, or have a business there. You can just go online and be like: “hey, I own a boat, can I register it in Panama?”

And they will be like “Yeah no worries, that's cool, just pay us a little cash.”

Congratulations. You are now the proud owner of this ship that’s... sorta… from Panama.

So Panama doesn’t have a lot of rules about registering your boat in their country, and Panama also doesn’t have a lot of rules about what is and isn’t okay to do with your boat or the people, and stuff, that is on it. And this is a pretty big deal when it comes to ships.

Ships spend a lot of time in international waters. And despite what movies and TV tell you, anything doesn’t go in international waters. When in international waters, you obey the laws of the ship's registered country. So while it’s not illegal to commit murder in international waters

(I guess?), it is probably illegal in the country where your ship is registered.

If your boat is spending a lot of time in international waters, it is spending a lot of time obeying the laws of the country where it is registered. And if your country is particularly strict when it comes to your boat WOF and your boat is somewhat shit, you may be inclined to go register your boat somewhere that is less strict.

Or say you have a crew of hardworking individuals that are desperate enough to work for little money and know to keep quiet about human rights violations?

Well, there may be a few places that are going to be more relaxed about it.

Sounds convenient right?

Well I present to you, the ‘flag of convenience’. Rich shipping companies are conveniently registering their boats overseas to avoid taxes and stricter labour laws and health and safety obligations. And Panama is an OG in the ‘flag of convenience’ game. Their open registry lets just about anyone fly their flag (See – OnlyFlags) in exchange for some levies and fees and stuff.

This all started in the 1920s during Prohibition when some clever ship owners figured out they could register their ship overseas and then serve alcohol onboard their now ‘not American’

boats. Panama became that country. After prohibition ended, the shipowners saw the convenience of avoiding American laws and the open registry boom began.

Developing countries saw an open register as an easy means of cash, and many joined Panama in offering their flag of convenience. It’s hard to blame them, it brings Panama over half a billion dollars a year. Most of these nations are simply trying to find a way to combat years of colonisation, corruption, and systemic exploitation. But it does come with a cost.

A fight to offer the best shipping rates and deals can only be done by keeping costs low. Costs can only be kept low when workers are underpaid and costly repairs and maintenance is avoided.

Ships flying under a flag of convenience also have a higher rate of illegal activity due to their lack of oversight. Honduras shut down their registry after it was revealed it was being used for a wide range of criminal activity and in 2000, a Cambodian representative famously said,

If your business model relies on attracting as large a number of vessels as possible you are not going to do much enforcing.

To try to combat this, Port State Control has been implemented, allowing countries to inspect ships that dock at their ports, but this is more of a band-aid fix.

It is worth mentioning Panama is no longer ‘black listed’ but many nations operating an open registry are. Statistics suggest operating conditions overall are improving but there is a risk that as countries such as Panama improve their regulations, shipping companies will turn to other registers.

It is clear that something needs to be done, and it’s also pretty clear abandoning the flag of convenience system is probably that thing. It would go a long way in improving safety and transparency, and combating illegal trade.

Because OnlyFans may be a great side hustle, but OnlyFlags probably shouldn’t be. 

“We don't know or care who owns the ships or whether they're doing 'white' or 'black' business ... it is not our concern."

This was after it was revealed that Cambodian flagged ships were breaking trade embargos, smuggling drugs into Europe and engaging in human trafficking.

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Tremors

By Lucy Wormald (she/her)

Lucy explores the ever evolving relationship with her mum as she enters adulthood.

My mum and I are close. As many mothers and daughters are. She oftentimes feels like an absolute blister. In other moments she is seraphic. I am forever unworthy of her unconditional softness and I’m awed by her attentiveness. We understand each other in a way that cuts through a lot of

and “vision loss” and it was suddenly as if I was looking at my mother through a very long telescope. I imagined her little bespectacled head popping out of the white sheets, her beautiful hands stalling and struggling. Her fragility crashed into me and I felt an unfamiliar protectiveness.

bullshit, seeing both the glory and the

My mum had a stroke in early January.

It wasn’t an earth-shattering one. There was no collapse or ambulance, no sickening moment of a life hanging in the balance. It was a measured lapse of a stroke, like a slow motion landslide or falling asleep. She woke up one morning and could not work out how to put on her

Her hands would not listen to her brain.

She spent ten days in hospital after they did scans and found the bleeding in her brain. They pointed out the parts of her brain that had died and adorned them with results such as “left side neglect”

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and optimistic and lonely and distressed.

She needed soothing and reassuring, simple conversation and reminding.

I began to feel a remove between the mother I was accustomed to, and the in dynamic crystallised and cemented,

Her fragility crashed into me and I felt an unfamiliar protectiveness.

glasses. She went into the kitchen and dropped the coffee. She broke two mugs.

every day for hours. She was confused

woman I was talking to. As the change

unloveliness of the other. And she has always been my greatest comforter.

Instead, I talked to her on the phone

my clarity on what this transition meant for our relationship was muddied by the technological medium in which it was playing out.

The slow understanding of this shift was akin to the feeling of glimpsing someone you know on a passing train. The moment slows and you can just catch a shard of their face. There is a lurching recognition and then

She told me how the patients around her were guarded by their children and she was met only by my dad. At this stage there had been no ease in travel restrictions and I was bound by a major lack of spare change and the risk of finding myself in a quarantine limbo.

uncertainty as you are whipped away and your mind scrambles to confirm what you’ve seen. The distance between me and my mother meant I could not know the full change the stroke had brought, I could only pass by its silhouette again and again.

She was grieving deeply for the self she had lost – her sense of autonomy and clarity of thought. She was deeply troubled by what she felt her ‘new self’ meant for the rest of us.

Early on there were days where I would often forget my mother’s stroke. Her tone would be authoritative and clear and there would be sharp exchanges of wit and organisation. I would forget my mother had been left with brain damage, when minor memory loss and fogs of confusion were the only identifiers. But while the stroke came as a small tremor, the emotional fallout was marked.

She would call me crying and distressed.

She was grieving deeply for the self she had lost – her sense of autonomy and clarity of thought. She was deeply troubled by what she felt her ‘new self’ meant for the rest of us. I could see her navigating her sense she was now a burden to our family. I saw her embarrassed of her contracted capacity to deal with everyone’s emotional baggage and life problems. I saw her frustration that her mind would not work for her.

I saw her in her immense vulnerability and grief. And most startling to my still-child’s eyes was seeing her fear. On our video calls her eyes would become distant and distressed. She was afraid of the world around her and unsure of herself within it.

And so for the first time in utmost clarity, I see her humanity.

We often put our parents on a pedestal.

If we are lucky it is not till our late teens or early adulthood that this mirage of perfection, of knowledge, of immortality is shattered by one means or another.

During this new epoch I catch sight of what she may have felt in raising me – the disheartenment, the unexpected well of patience, and the burn of love.

Whereas she once was to me, I am now the cooling hand on her forehead, her comforter.

She has cared for me for my entire life and now, in this strange and technological space, I can try and return that care as best as possible.

I have not seen her frailness or witnessed her arc through a day. I still do not know the full shape of how we will care for each other, as mother and daughter. And yet I am floored and moved when every day I hear an uninhibited and innate joy in her voice. A note of her true self amplified, ringing through her conversations like a single bell chime. 

17

CITY CAMPUS

RE-O WEEK ARCADE ZONE Mon – Thu | 12 – 8pm | Vesbar Want to jam a quick game between classes?

Head to Vesbar and check out what arcades we have availiable for Re-O Week!

MON 12

LOW IMPACT ZONE 9am – 4pm | WC202 Come and chill with a hot drink, some board games and colouring in.

TUNES N’ THREADS

WED 14

OUT@AUT AND AUT STEM WOMEN MEETUP 10am – 2pm | Rainbow Room WB212 A cross-club networking meetup for LGBTQIA+ students in STEM degrees.

STREET DANCE EXPO

Love thrift shopping and live music?

Check out our market at Hikuwai Plaza.

11am – 3pm | WQ Building

PUB QUIZ

ASK ME A QUESTION

TUE 13

Learn a variety of Street Dance styles with us!

12 – 1pm | WC202 Got questions about uni life? Have lunch with our advocacy team and ask away!

LOW IMPACT ZONE

KARAOKE NIGHT

9am – 4pm | WC202

From 6pm | Vesbar

Come and chill with a hot drink, some board games and colouring in.

A CAKES AND LADDERS MOMENT 5 – 7pm | AUTSA Student Lounge An evening of board games and baking.

Hosted by your friendly United Apart Team.

AUT SALSA 7 – 8pm | WQ Building Learn a new dance style with the AUT Salsa dance club on campus. Follow them on Facebook for more details.

PUB GAMES From 6pm | Vesbar

THU 15

SOCIAL GAME ZONE 11am – 2pm | Hikuwai Plaza

STUDENT COMMUNITIES DAY 11am – 2pm | Hikuwai Plaza Music, performances and a chance to meet some of our Student Clubs/Communities.

TURNING PAGES 11.30am – 1pm | Hikuwai Plaza Donate a book or some stationery to help other students on campus. Run by our SRC.

CAMPUS KAI 12 – 1pm | Hikuwai Plaza Grab a free bite or make some smores.

WESTERN NIGHT From 6pm | Vesbar

18

LOW IMPACT ZONE 9am – 4pm | WC202 Come and chill with a hot drink, some board games and colouring in.

COCOA AND COOKIES

11am – 3pm | Hikuwai Plaza

From 6pm | Vesbar

FRI 16

10am – 12pm | Hikuwai Plaza Start off your semester well and warm.

Get in quick – first come, first served!

K-POP DANCE CLASS 3 – 4pm | WQ Building Come and learn a K-pop set to some of the greatest K-pop hits!

AUT PERFORMING ARTS PRESENTS TALENT FEST 6 – 7.30pm | WG210 For a gold coin donation, see some of our amazing student talent on campus.

Maybe even join for the next event too.

FRIDAY NIGHT @ VES Doors open 5.30pm | Vesbar Welcome Back Party with goodies and treats.

SAT 17 HAKARIMATA SUMMIT TRACK 9am – 4pm | Meet at AUT Join OffGrid on an off-campus hike in the Waikato Region! Register on their Facebook page to confirm your spot!

AUTSS CHARITY BALL 7.30pm – 11.30pm | Okahu Join the AUT Scholars Society at their Annual Chairty Ball to support the Gee Nepal and Sea Cleaners NZ. Theme is Roaring 20’s – buy your tickets and find out more by joining their Facebook page.

TIMETABLE

12–16 JULY 21

GAMERS’ ZONE

PICK UP AND PLAY

Mon – Fri | 10am – 4pm | AS Level 1

Mon, Wed, Thu | 12 – 1pm | AUT Gym

Grab a drink and relax between your classes.

Come along and try your luck at the foozeball and arcade games.

An hour of social sports with your Events Activation Crew.

MON 12

TUE 13 STUDENT COMMUNITIES DAY

COCOA AND COOKIES 10am – 12pm | AS Level 1

11am – 2pm | Awataha Plaza

Start off your semester well and warm. Get in quick – first come, first served!

Music, performances and a chance to meet some of our Student Clubs/Communities.

TURNING PAGES 11.30am – 1pm | Awataha Plaza Donate a book or some stationery to help other students on campus.

Run by our SRC.

THU 15 CAMPUS KAI

ASK ME A QUESTION

12 – 1pm | Awataha Plaza

12 – 1pm | AS Level 1

Grab a free bite or make some smores.

Got questions about uni life? Have lunch with our advocacy team and ask away!

GAMERS’ ZONE Mon – Fri, | 9am – 3pm | ME109

Grab a drink and relax between your classes.

Come along and try your luck at the ice hockey and arcade games.

COCOA AND COOKIES 10am – 12pm | ME109 Start off your semester well and warm.

Get in quick – first come, first served!

TUE 13

WED 14 STUDENT COMMUNITIES DAY 11am – 2pm | Sports Court Music, performances and a chance to meet some our Student Clubs/Communities.

THU 15 TEKKEN TOURNAMENT 12 – 1pm | ME109 A friendly competition to test your skills. Run by the Events Activation Crew – make sure to register on the AUTSA Facebook page.

ASK ME A QUESTION

TURNING PAGES

AUT SALSA

11.30am – 1pm | Sports Court

12 – 1pm | ME109

6 – 7pm | MH102

Donate a book or some stationery to help other students on campus.

Run by our SRC.

Learn a new dance style with AUT Salsa dance club on campus. Follow them on Facebook for more details.

Got questions about uni life? Have lunch with our advocacy team and ask away!

CAMPUS KAI 12 – 1pm | Sports Court Grab a free bite or make some smores.

Sponsored by

SOUTH CAMPUS

CHILL ZONE Mon – Fri, | 9am – 3pm | ME109

MON 12

NORTH CAMPUS

CHILL ZONE Mon – Fri, | 10am – 4pm | AS Level 1

FRI 16 K-POP DANCE CLASS 12 – 1pm | ME109 Join Horizon.ADP and their dance group as they teach you a K-pop set on South Campus.

All events are free and R18 (ID required)

19

20

A Love Letter to Alain de Botton

By Alana McConnell (she/her), illustrated by Yi Jong (she/her)

Alana recounts the life lessons that philosopher Alain de Botton instilled in her and how they have single-handedly changed her beliefs on love.

Like many of us who grew up in a family with two seemingly happy parents, I formed very specific beliefs and ideas about what love and relationships should look like. My parents had the occasional fight but appeared to be happy and content together. At least I thought so. My parents split up when I was around seventeen.

The illusion of their perfect marriage was shattered, and it further shattered my views on relationships, marriage, and love. It affected me more than I knew at the time, and I coped with it through excessive drinking and partying, bad decisions, and chaotic behaviour when I left home. Any time I got close to being in a relationship and letting someone get close to me, I freaked out and sabotaged the relationship. I longed for a relationship but was also incredibly terrified of everything that it entailed. That was until a Swiss-British modern-day philosopher known for his pessimistic but enlightening views of love, relationships and life changed all that.

Alain de Botton’s work is almost single-handedly responsible for changing my beliefs around love. He has prepared me for relationships and given me the confidence to navigate the world of dating. He allowed me to be gracious to myself when I felt like I wasn’t doing it right, and also connected me to others around me. Alain de Botton, this is for you.

The early years.

By the time I reached my adolescence, it seemed like everyone was dating. People in my class seemed like they were always in relationships, and it looked so easy for them. I didn’t understand it, but I felt pressure to do what everyone else was doing. So when a boy had a crush on me and asked me to the movies, I said yes. I didn’t know how I was supposed to feel and what was normal, which made me anxious and uncomfortable. I had conflicting ideas about what things were supposed to feel like, so I went deeper into my own head and ended up going along with things for the sake of it. This resulted in a pattern of going on a few lukewarm dates followed by the eventual rejection of boys who I didn’t like but didn’t want to upset, stringing them along and only hurting them more.

My ideas of relationships were formed through the relationship of my parents, but also what I saw around me in the form of the media, society, and those in my life. That Disney-Hollywoodified version of love was so pervasive. I was also raised Christian and had this idealistic belief that I would find my one true love and be with them until the day I die, an unexpected overlap between Christianity and Hollywood romcoms.

The older I got, the more I realised that not everyone

21

will get married. This flawed belief system left out those people who may not have linear or traditional love (which is most of us). Even if you do get married, the chance of divorce is high, and the chances of it eventually deteriorating over time is even higher.

I was confused when I didn’t have this overwhelming feeling of love and chemistry with a boy, and I felt slightly broken because of that. It felt like this math equation that I somehow didn’t learn but everyone else did. It was agonising being so deep inside my head, pulling apart interactions and trying to figure out what was right and wrong. My beliefs and expectations about love were so unrealistic and not rooted in reality. I put so much importance into the idea of chemistry and connection but I didn’t know how to quantify it. I was going out with boys but not actually feeling any of those things I thought I was supposed to feel. When it comes to love, I feel like a bit of a late bloomer. Only now, at 22, am I beginning to go through those natural stages of making any sense of dating.

If you want to understand others, look inwards at yourself.

For a long time, I felt like I would never be in a relationship. I invalidated all my past experiences, telling myself they didn’t ‘count’ because they were too short, too far in the past, too ‘not official’. I created an arbitrary number of months for how long a legitimate relationship should be, more than six, and if I had anything less then I disregarded it. It was a deep fear within me. The math equation had grown into a whole relationship handbook that I had missed ordering. My singleness felt like a scar on my personality. The world seemed to define people through their relationships. Single vs. taken, alone vs. partnered up. I didn’t feel like I had the right to talk about relationships, as silly as that sounds now. I thought that relationships had to be this unsaid act and if you talked about them then it would be painfully obvious you just didn’t

My singleness felt like a scar on my personality. The world seemed to define people through their relationships. Single vs. taken, alone vs. partnered up.

22

get it. People who were in relationships appeared, on the outside, to have it all figured out, which made it so confusing when a long term couple broke up.

Seemingly out of the blue.

We naturally edit ourselves to the world around us. I have full access to my brain and inner thoughts, which at times made me feel weird and defective and different from everyone else. But after listening to Alain de Botton, I learned that if you want to understand people around you more, you can use yourself as the clearest indicator of what other people are like. We are all made up of the same stuff, and we are all censoring and projecting different bits and pieces. I didn’t realise that even those who are in those ‘perfect’ long term relationships, may feel imperfect or like failures in their own way too. We all have hang-ups that we derive shame from.

The end of a relationship is not a failure.

The one thing I did feel like an expert in was first dates. When lockdown lifted, I had been asked on dates from a number of guys on dating apps, and I decided to be open to experiences and say yes if it felt right. A dating spree appeared inadvertently, and I was going on date after date, on one occasion accidentally organising two dates in one day. There were a few instances where I asked the dreaded question. “Where is this going?” to which I got; “I’m not ready for a relationship,” “I just broke up with someone,” “I’m not looking for anything serious” etc. I got pretty jaded as it only fed into my pervasive narrative that something was wrong with me and dating wasn’t ever going to work out. I deleted Tinder and Bumble and decided to give myself a break. Soon afterwards at a party I complimented a boy on his rings, which he admitted buying off Ali Express, and from there a really natural and beautiful relationship formed.

I used to associate a relationship's end with shame, but I’ve come to realise that measuring a relationship's success based on longevity is an incredibly flawed tool, one which we don’t apply to other experiences.

We ended up calling it off after around five months of dating. We had core differences and incompatibilities. Even when we ended it, we still had a deep care and desire towards each other, which made it an extremely difficult decision. I didn’t see the end of the relationship as a failure. I was much less punitive and selfblaming. My old belief of what quantified a ‘real’ relationship wasn’t relevant. In less than six months I had still built real intimacy with someone. It proved to me I was capable of being in a relationship, of allowing myself to open up and share moments of life together.

I used to associate a relationship's end with shame, but I’ve come to realise that measuring a relationship's success based on longevity is an incredibly flawed tool, one which we don’t apply to other experiences. If we expect successful relationships to last forever, then nearly all of our relationships are considered failures. An unhelpful and damaging lens to have. I didn’t invalidate my relationship because it didn’t last. It had beautiful moments and it taught me what I needed to learn for the future. Though breakups can be heartwrenching and awful, they aren’t tragedies.

Love is a striking example of how little reality means to us.

The above line is a quote by Marcel Proust, a French novelist who is frequently quoted and praised by de Botton.1 We’ve all

experienced the honeymoon period of a relationship where everything is fleetingly blissful and perfect. It’s impossible to find any flaws in the other person because we want to believe that love is this easy and that we’ve found it. But it's a delusion. Real love is understanding that someone has imperfections and weaknesses and things that just make them quite odd, but loving them regardless of that. I wouldn't want to be with someone who viewed me as a perfect being incapable of doing no wrong because that wouldn’t be seeing me for who I truly am and still choosing to love me and be with me. De Botton says “every fall into love involves the triumph of hope over self-knowledge. We fall in love hoping we won’t find in another what we know is in ourselves, all the cowardice, weakness, laziness, dishonesty, compromise, and stupidity… we locate inside another a perfection that eludes us within ourselves, and through our union with the beloved hope to maintain a precarious faith in our species”. Alain de Botton’s pessimism actually set me free in a way. I thought I wanted that honeymoon period forever, an example of what I thought real love was for my whole life. That’s what I saw falsely mirrored to me by my parents. My beliefs about love were false, and I’ve begun to unpack the ones which don’t serve me and replace them with new beliefs.

Release expectations of a perfect partner.

Alain de Botton’s perspective on love can be viewed as inherently pessimistic.

But in doing so he dismantles the common and unrealistic expectations we have, the ones that result in us feeling like failures. Alain de Botton looks for the universal in the particular, where the listener can apply their own unique situations. De Botton explains the great deal of expectation we put onto our romantic partners. How we expect them to be our ideal sexual partner, friend, confidant, roommate, travel partner, and

co-parent. This expectation of course can be crippling, especially if we feel like our partners are not ticking all of these boxes.

It doesn’t allow room for imperfection or ambivalence, the ability to freely express disappointment or dissatisfaction without the risk of dismantling the whole relationship. If we can’t freely express our disappointment, then we will never be able to repair the ruptures in a relationship, which will then build up and result in a relationship breakdown. De Botton says “we cling to ruptures because it confirms a story which, though deeply sad at one level, also feels very safe: that big emotional commitments are invariably too risky, that others can’t be trusted, and that we are basically all alone.” My expectations of a relationship before I actually had any experiences were wildly impossible to attain. Viewing the other person as a human being instead of a magical saviour who will complete and understand you, will set you up for a relationship with healthy expectations and standards.

At the heart of it, relationships of all kinds are what make up the fabric of our lives.

But we aren’t born with all the answers.

If you look at history, and at the people around you, we are all pretty terrible at them. They aren’t easy. It is the coming together of people who are deeply flawed, not fully accepting of themselves, and with the unrealistic hope they can find someone who is perfect for them, whatever that means. We are never explicitly taught how to love, so it comes as no surprise that I felt utterly lost for a long time.

Alain de Botton may not have all the answers either, but because of him I have more grace for myself and more self-compassion for my attempts, no matter how miserable or commendable, at navigating relationships. 

1 https://www.alaindebotton.com/literature/

23

What Ship Are You? (I Failed to Understand the Brief... Again.)

By Andrew Broadley (he/him)

Did you go to Auckland Grammar?

Are you white?

Yes

Yes

No No

AC75

Yes

Diocesan?

You were born...

No

Pre-2000

Post-2000

Crypto?

Yes

Anime?

No

Olivia

Nike Dunks or Doc Martens?

Fishing?

No Yes

Yes

24

Surtees 495 Pro Fisher/ Surtees Game Fisher Enclosed 2021

Nikes Docs

No

Do you live on the North Shore?

Swordfish II (from Cowboy Bebop)

Netsky or Olivia Rodrigo?

Netsky

No

Do you like DOOF (Hitting da club)

Yes

Yes

No

Fullers Ferry

Titanic

Ship in Bottle

Growing up, Sundays were for...

Sundays are STILL for church?

Church

Watching What Now

No

Yes

Design or Comms?

Design

Neither?

Comms

Don't ruin my quiz!

PICK ONE!

In a group project you...

Chill out

Take the lead

Say you'll do shit but just chill and leave everything to the last minute?

Logos Hope

Sundays are...

Hungover

Yes

No

Ever Given

Cruise Ship Captain but with the Autopilot Rudder System Engaged

Productive

No

Vaping?

Yes

WOMAD

Greenpeace Arctic Sunrise

WOMAD or RNV

Oru Kayak (Bay ST model)

RNV

Rainbow's End Bumper Boat

Check out the next page to learn more about your ship!

25

26

AC75

Ship in Bottle

Fullers Ferry

What more to say. You’re rich, you’re white, you are a walking talking America’s Cup.

You don’t do anything, like… at all…

What are your hobbies?

I can’t read you. You’re diverse, multifaceted, and you commute to and from the shore.

You are a ferry.

Surtees 495 Pro Fisher/ Surtees Game Fisher Enclosed 2021

Rainbow's End Bumper Boat

Ever Given

This depends on your answer to the crypto question. Did you make bank from dogecoin? Are you a fancy fishing boat or just a regular fishing boat?

You’ve been around for a while now, but you’re not letting up. People can still expect a fun time from you, bumping and thumping, wetting their pant cuffs with your spilled drink.

Titanic

Logos Hope

You don’t do much do you? Drinking isn’t a personality trait, and you should realise that in time to grab one of them lifeboats before you completely descend into the frozen waters of alcoholism.

This is a ship that goes around the world giving people bibles and stuff… You think it’s a good thing, most don’t agree.

Greenpeace Arctic Sunrise

Oru Kayak (Bay ST model)

STOMP STOMP STOMP. Hello there oat milk flat white, floral patterned Doc Martens and a design degree. You're here to save the planet and you have no intentions of being shy about it. Crinch crunch crash the sound of you demolishing those who oppose you like ice against your strong metal hull (or just the sound of your kale salad)

You’re getting on in years now and you have shed the alcoholism of your tender years. You like to hike and look at trees and stuff. You are the embodiment of this Oru Kayak that literally folds away into a bag! The peak of practicality.

You’re well known among your friends and cohort, but not for reasons you may want. You’re a burden, an inconvenience.

You're blocking the flow and holding everyone up. Sort it out.

Swordfish II (from Cowboy Bebop) This ship is from the anime Cowboy Bebop but I don’t need to tell you that, Otaku.

Cruise Ship Captain but with the Autopilot Rudder System Engaged Hey look, you’re just vibing and that’s okay.

Not an inconvenience by any means, but not really needed either. Cs get degrees and large ships essentially drive themselves anyway so alg.

Talofa, Malo e Lelei, Fakaalofa Lahi Atu, Kia Orana, Malo Ni, Bula, Kia Ora and Greetings!

WE ARE THE AUT PACIFIC ISLAND LAW ASSOCIATION (AUTPLSA) AND OUR GOAL IS TO PROVIDE SUPPORT FOR THE PACIFIC ISLAND COMMUNITY STUDYING LAW AT AUT. ALL ARE WELCOME.

WE OFFER: - STUDY SUPPORT - MENTORSHIP - SOCIAL EVENTS - NETWORKING OPPORTUNITIES - AND MUCH MORE!

WE ARE SEEKING MEMBERS FOR 2021. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN BECOMING A MEMBER, PLEASE REACH OUT VIA OUR SOCIAL CHANNELS.

facebook.com/groups/autplsa

@autplsa

27

My Experiences on Queer Dating

By Anonymous

misogynistic men who shame men for

them out. Although not illegal, these large

imbalances. I saw a TikTok recently explaining this type of situation. The user explained how it’s completely natural for younger people to find older people attractive – such as being 14 and finding Hugh Jackman attractive (at least in my case anyway), as older people represent a sense of maturity and independence that a lot of younger people idolise but are yet to obtain.

This is romanticised by the younger person through a sense of attraction. If a partner is significantly older, however, what can they obtain? They can obtain a sense of power over the younger person, be it economically, with maturity, or even physical stature; they overpower us, and this power dynamic

age gaps allow for problematic power

isn’t healthy in a romantic situation.

being feminine, to the predators who prey When I talk to my mum about wanting a

on younger guys, to the constant body

boyfriend, she always responds with the

shaming and racism, Grindr has been a

same phrase.

headache to use from the beginning.

“There are plenty of fish in the sea,”

Grindr is the perfect breeding ground

– Mum, circa all the time.

for predators to prey on younger gay

But what she doesn’t realise for me, is that most of those fish are straight.

And of those fish that aren’t straight, they have extremely high standards about what other non-straight fish they are looking for. Queer dating is like being a snapper in a school of goldfish.

It’s already difficult being gay when being queer is still stigmatised in today’s society, but queer dating isn’t making it easier.

In addition to there being significantly

guys. I can’t speak on behalf of every gay guy who has used the app, but I have definitely had my fair share of older men who have wanted to hook up with me, the oldest being 72 (I’m 19 for some perspective on how large the age gap is).

Some of these men are so desperate as to try to bargain for these boys with money through ‘rewards,’ as a way to prostitute

fewer of us compared to our heterosexual counterparts, gay men just love to make it even harder for themselves.

As soon as I turned 18 I started using dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble and Hinge. For the most part, these experiences haven’t been too bad. But Grindr, the most well-known app amongst queer men and trans women, has been a horrible experience. From the overtly

28

A lot of gay men only fully express their sexuality through online places such as Grindr. The sense of freedom online platforms give, allows these men to say whatever they want without facing the consequences of their actions.

A lot of gay men only fully express their sexuality through online places such as Grindr. The sense of freedom online platforms give, allows these men to say whatever they want without facing the consequences of their actions. Because of this, Grindr is heavily misogynistic, treating queer men who are perceived to be effeminate like trash or completely disregarding their existence in the first place. Now, when I mention Grindr in this situation, I don’t mean that the app is inherently misogynistic, I mean that it gives its users the platform to be misogynistic. I have a friend, who we’ll name ‘J’ for privacy, who actively uses the app, and expresses himself in an effeminate manner: he wears makeup, nail polish and wears clothing that goes

No matter our own identity, we all operate within a heteronormative society. One that values masculinity and athleticism as the most attractive.

This can lead to men ‘straight acting’ and desiring others who are also ‘straight acting’ in an effort to fit into these heteronormative boxes

against the stereotypical idea of dressing as a ‘man’. J often receives messages from men that don’t even say hi. Rather, ‘where you at slut,’ or a wordless dick pic.

If he doesn’t respond, these men start to feel entitled, resulting in harassing J with messages of ‘bitch,’ ‘skank,’ and ‘whore’.

Failing to fit into a mould (that is in itself problematic) created by ‘masculine’ queer men should never result in the levels of harassment that J receives, nor should he feel the need to change himself to fit these roles other ‘masculine’ queer men have created.

If you go on Grindr, it’s common to see bios with ‘no fems’ or ‘masc4masc’ in them.

This sort of ‘straight acting’ is usually by the same men who ridicule other, often more feminine men, for being ‘too gay’ or using ‘being gay’ as their personality trait. At the end of the day, the only thing that makes you gay is your sexual preference. We’re all equally queer regardless of whether we are ‘straight acting’ or not.

29

People may have preferences of what they look for in appearances, but the body bashing, or excluding body types that comes, as a result, is an issue.

A lot of men do, however, have a preference for men that are ‘straight acting' or deemed more masculine. I feel like this can stem from a couple of issues. Whether they are in the closet or not, most gay men have had crushes on straight men. They usually have had to keep this to themselves in fear of being rejected or for having these feelings in the first place. When they meet a queer person who is ‘straight-acting,’ they may develop feelings for this person as a sort of replacement for the men they were never able to be with. Additionally, no matter our own identity, we all operate within a heteronormative society. One that values masculinity and athleticism as the most attractive. This can lead to men ‘straight acting’ and desiring others who are also ‘straight acting’ in an effort to fit into these heteronormative boxes, regardless of whether they are doing this consciously or not.

No matter what you're looking for in a man, the most important thing is to be respectful. It’s really not hard. Obviously, you’re not going to be attracted to everyone that you see, but the least you could do is not be an asshole about it.

We already get a lot of shit from everyone else for being gay; it just seems counter-productive to cause more anguish for one another in a place where we’re supposed to feel at home.

Twinks, bears, otters. Body types are a large part of queer identity. In the gay community though, this obsession with body type can often lead to widespread body shaming, particularly on apps such as Grindr. You aren’t praised by a lot of men for being a ‘fat bear’ but if you’re a ‘muscle bear’ that’s another story. I know that with a lot of dating apps, the first point of interest is whether you find the person on your screen physically attractive. These apps are designed this way. After this, you chat and get to know each other’s personalities. Grindr is a little different, as a lot of men who use the app aren’t looking for anything more than just hookups, so personality doesn’t necessarily have to matter. A lot of men who use Grindr don’t even have a picture of their face on their profile, usually just a picture of their body.

People may have preferences of what they look for in appearances, but the body bashing, or excluding body types

that comes, as a result, is an issue.

The only way to be appreciated as a queer man is to be muscular, otherwise, you will either be bashed for being too fat or skinny, or on the opposite end of the spectrum, fetishised.

Grindr has been known to be racist, with people excluding certain ethnicities in their bio. While I have not personally experienced this, being Pākehā myself, I have heard stories online. Fortunately, the BIPOC friends I spoke to haven’t had these experiences either. So while I can’t comment too much further, it is another aspect to consider for those looking at using the app.

The idea of ‘pride’ has to be intersectional.

Gay men don’t only consist of white gym junkies named Kyle who drown themselves in Lynx Africa and call you a ‘faggot’ for using coconut-scented bodywash. Gay men are BIPOC, disabled, and have stretch marks and other blemishes. Gay men come in all different shapes and sizes and they have different religions and philosophical beliefs. They aren’t only cisgender. They embrace their femininity proudly, they dress in drag, participate in vogue, wear makeup and they are all beautiful.

We all know how shitty it feels to be discriminated against for something we can’t change. Let’s not do the same to individuals in our own community. 

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