Debate issue 24

debate ISSUE 24| OCTOBER 2014

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COVER ART Illustration by Ramina Rai EDITOR Matthew Cattin matthew.cattin@aut.ac.nz SUB EDITORS Laurien Barks | Kieran Bennett DESIGN/ART Ramina Rai ramina.rai@aut.ac.nz CONTRIBUTORS Amelia Petrovich|Ethan Sills| Nigel Mckenzie-Ryan Shivani Rajan

pg 8: Feature Artist -Ryan Cattin

ILLUSTRATION & PHOTOGRAPHY Ramina Rai ADVERTISING CONTACT Kate Lin kate.lin@aut.ac.nz PRINTER PMP Print Ltd. PUBLISHER AuSM all rights reserved

pg 10: Adventures in Callcentering

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pg 6: Vox Pops

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3

EDITORIAL Hey team!

As a kid, I spent a heck of a lot of time trawling through video stores. My two older brothers both sung, you see, and my mum would often cart me around with her while they went to choir practice or busked at the shops. While she went bargain hunting or had a coffee, she’d often let me look through the video stores, never hiring anything, just looking at the titles. I’d pull each video out, check out the front and back, and wonder about the stories held within the cases.

When I was a little older, I was the kid who would beg mum to take me to the video shop on weekends, rain or shine. I would consistently spend so long deciding on a film, she quickly learned it was more efficient to drop me off, do her shopping for an hour or so, and pick me up on the way back.

Chances were high, however, I would still be browsing with 10 films in my hands which I had to narrow down to just five. But can you really ever get just five?

When I got my first job and started earning a bit of pocket change, I would walk two kilometres or so to the nearest video store, browse for hours – often with a list of films gripped in hand – and eagerly walk home juggling covers and reading the synopsis of each film, many times over.

You have probably gathered two things from my editorial thus far… I like films, and I was a bit of a dork about it. But hell, I’m passionate, and that’s nought to be ashamed of.

Many people feel that popping on a film is a waste of time. They see it as a couple of hours that could be better spent outdoors or ‘doing something constructive’. Groucho Marx famously said; “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” It has been branded idiot box and boob tube, and scholars are forever telling us useless trivia about how little we use our brain while enjoying a spot of tele. Did you know you use more brain power staring at the ceiling than you do when enjoying a film?

No, shut your potty mouth. What good has science brought to the world anyway?

I’m an advocate for films through and through.

And even though George RR Martin had books in mind when he wrote his marvellous quote on reading (a reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, the man who never reads lives only one) I feel it can be applied equally well to films.

The way I see it, watching a good movie is as much a waste of time as reading a classic novel, listening to a concerto or browsing an art gallery. It’s all art at the end of the day, merely different strokes of the same brush, and like any work of art, films have inspired me, educated me, and taught me a heck of a lot about life.

Almost Famous inspired me to study journalism, It’s A Wonderful Life taught me no man can be a failure if he has friends, Saving Private Ryan gave me a greater understanding of what soldiers faced on the beaches in WWII, American Beauty showed me how beautiful life’s most insignificant details can be and Back to the Future taught me the dangers of time travel.

I’ve learnt about many fascinating moments in history (although not always portrayed accurately), I’ve been exposed to many cultures, religions and sexualities of which I’ve never encountered in real life, and I’ve discovered a heap of groovy facts about science, nature and significant people of the world. Sure, none of this is essential knowledge, but it does make me a valuable team mate at a pub quiz.

Most importantly of all, films have been largely responsible for sharpening my acceptance and empathy for people. There are so many plots out there which portray the struggles of those who are ‘different’; Boys Don’t Cry, Milk, I Am Sam, Schindler’s List and Remember the Titans are just a few of the films I saw in my formative teens which helped influence the eyes with which I view the world around me. I was never exposed to the persecution of the Jews, to the hate crimes against homosexuals or the segregation of those born a different colour, but by absorbing the stories of others in movies, I developed empathy and understanding. The same sadly can’t be said for so many who share this earth.

Movies have the influence to change ideas, habits, and lives. It sounds dramatic, but I fully believe it. They represent humanity and all of our fears, our hopes, our past, and our future.

So next time you head out to your local Hoyts, don’t settle for the next Michael Bay excretion, do yourself a favour and watch something that will challenge and inspire.

Have a great week!

Matthew

5

VOX POPS

This week our sub-editors got deep and meaningful with AUT students about anoying call centres, what they'd get out of bed early for, study tips and of course, their fave Pokémon.

Interviews by Laurien Barks and Kieran Bennett

LAUREN MACKIE Event Management and HR

ELISHA RUSSELL Communications

How do you deal with call centres when they ring you?

How do you deal with call centres when they ring you?

If I can avoid it, I will. But otherwise I’m too nice and I do the survey.

I don’t answer my home phone, or I say the person they’re asking for isn’t home.

What would you be willing to get up at 5am for?

What would you be willing to get up at 5am for?

Only work I’m getting paid for, or a gym appointment. I’m an early riser anyway.

I don’t like getting up at 5am. I don’t think anything.

What’s your go-to study helper?

What’s your go-to study helper?

A good area, with food. Like home.

I use Google. For like everything.

What’s your favourite Pokémon?

What’s your favourite Pokémon?

The one in the shell, Togepi. The cute one.

I like Jigglypuff.

LORETTA-JANE GRASSICK Communications

KIMBERLY DEFTEREOUS Bachelor of Business

How do you deal with call centres when they ring you?

How do you deal with call centres when they ring you?

I usually just hang up, say sorry.

What would you be willing to get up at 5am for?

Probably gym.

What’s your go-to study helper?

Chocolate. No specific kind.

What’s your favourite Pokémon?

Pikachu.

I usually say thanks but no thanks and hang up. They always want home owners.

What would you be willing to get up at 5am for?

Not uni. If it was something special, like a birthday party or a relative arriving.

What’s your go-to study helper?

Helper or distraction? Maybe food? Any food really.

What’s your favourite Pokémon?

Bulbasaur. Wait, Pikachu!

MICHAEL NES

MICHAEL WILLZIE: Bachelor of Business

Nursing

How do you deal with call centres when they ring you?

How do you deal with call centres when they ring you?

I give it to my parents and just say someone is on the phone for them.

I worked in one so I know how it feels. I’m polite but I try to avoid getting too far in.

What would you be willing to get up at 5am for?

What would you be willing to get up at 5am for?

A flight, travel, not much else.

What’s your go-to study helper?

Maybe a sports game, maybe rugby. To watch, though, I don’t function at 5am.

Nothing, I just read or Youtube.

What’s your go-to study helper?

What’s your favourite Pokémon?

Oooh a toughie. The lecture slides.

Cyndaquil.

What’s your favourite Pokémon?

Pidgeotto. He’s a bit underrated.

JOHN NORTON Business

MITCHELL DAY Business How do you deal with call centres when they ring you?

Usually just take the piss. Have a laugh.

What would you be willing to get up at 5am for?

How do you deal with call centres when they ring you?

Pretty much hang up straight away, don’t have time. If they’re polite to me, I’ll be polite about it.

To watch the All Blacks.

What would you be willing to get up at 5am for?

What’s your go-to study helper?

Sports.

Google.

What’s your go-to study helper?

What’s your favourite Pokémon?

Mixture of Google, lecture slides, and meth, to keep me up at 5am.

Pikachu.

What’s your favourite Pokémon?

Charizard.

Win $5,000 worth of prizes at X Gallery Take a selfie at X Gallery, hashtag it #xgallery and you’re in the draw Corner of Khartoum Place, Lorne & Wellesley Street

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FEATURE ARTIST

RYAN CATTIN Ryan Cattin is a veterinarian saviour of wee kittens and puppies who also happens to be my older brother. He takes a pretty decent photo, so I figured it was high time we featured him as artist of the week. Featured on this page are a few photos from his trip to Africa, as well as a couple from humble New Zealand. If you want to jealously live vicariously through his lens like I do, check out a whole lot more on his Flickr page

www.flickr.com/photos/99463717@N04

FEATURE ARTIST

9

by Nigel Mckenzie-Ryan

ADVENTURES IN CALLCENTRING

When you think of the words ‘call centre’, an unpleasant mental image is conjured. You see a dreary grey room with ugly, scuffed carpet. There are rows of outdated computers being manned by drones who are one missed bus away from a breakdown. For hours on end, they spout the same old rehearsed lines in an attempt to shill volcano insurance or gluten-free cellphones to lonely grandmothers in Morrinsville. A few weeks ago, I got the opportunity to work for one of these delightful little centres and I have to tell you, they aren’t as bad as you think! They’re four thousand times worse. A part of me feels like it’s a poor career move to bad mouth a previous employer, but a lot of me doesn’t give a shit.

Before I start my tale, I want to just point out I changed some details of the story because I’m not too keen on getting sued for defamation again. A few weeks ago, I was browsing Student Job Search when I came across a listing that was just up my alley. I liked the title, ‘Market Research Interviewer’.

This wasn’t just shitty shillery! This was research! This was important! This was a perfect opportunity for someone with no skills or experience! I sent off a cover letter filled with bullshit about how I LOVVVEE market research. I quickly received a reply from my contact, who we’ll call Darius. After a brief vocal test to make sure I sounded white eloquent enough, I was scheduled for training at 10 o’clock the next day. Woohoo! I decided to go out and celebrate.

I woke up at eight the next morning with a splitting headache on the floor of a flat owned by two Vietnamese guys. It was weird, I never get headaches. I picked myself up and got on a bus to Mt. Roskill. I arrived half an hour early, but spent that time looking for the damn place. I feared that the dark clouds would open up at any moment, but the occasional spits of rain helped eased my hangover. I found my destination tucked behind a series of serious looking office buildings. I went inside and asked for Darius. The place was nice enough.

Leather couches, Thriving ferns, nice blue carpet, pretty secretary, shitty abstract art on the walls… Pretty much what I expected. I was starting to look forward to this. I was greeted by Darius, a caricature salary-man with a weak handshake and a weaker personality. He lead me to a boardroom where inside sat two other trainees. One was a Sikh bloke in a collared shirt from The Warehouse and the other was a 20-year-old girl who looked like she has two kids already. Darius opened up a slideshow and told us we’d be ringing up random businesspeople in certain parts of the country to survey them. He also said that we would have the opportunity to ring Australia; he presented this enthusiastically, as if we would be the first ever people to call another country. Wow. Great. At least this will be over soon.

Two fucking hours passed and he was still hammering on about quality expectations and regulations. Before I got the opportunity to smash a window with my head and then impale my throat on a large shard, he took us out to the call centre. As we walked down the hall, I noticed the carpet turned from light blue to a deep grey and stretched up onto the walls. Darius opened the door into the call centre.

It looked like it was airlifted from Afghanistan. The climate was apparently imported too, because it was hot as hell.

There were two rows of cubicles. Two flanked the walls and the other pair stood in the middle of the room. Upon each desk was an antique computer, a phone and an uncomfortable headset. A few drones manned their stations, chatting away with faux-enthusiasm. The carpet was ripped and worn under the treads of the office chairs. As Darius guided us over to a few empty cubicles in a corner, my headache suddenly returned.

The ‘Banking Experience survey’ FLOWED as smoothly as a dump truck swimming upstream for mating season.

Darius introduced us to our supervisor, a large woman that we will call Acacia. Acacia was the ugliest woman I had ever seen in my entire life. To make matters worse, she had a wart the size of a BB right in the middle of her forehead.

I couldn’t stop staring at it while Acacia stole another five minutes from my life recapping what Darius had told us.

When she finally shut her goddamn mouth, we were FINALLY allowed to do the goddamn job we came here to do.

I cynically assumed the computers were running Windows 98. I was wrong. They were actually running Windows 2000.

Fantastic. The desktop had a plain teal background with the company’s logo on it just in case I forgot who I was fucking working for half way through my shift.

I opened up the calling program and read through the survey. The ‘Banking Experience survey’ flowed as smoothly as a dump truck swimming upstream for mating season. The two other trainees didn’t mind, they had already started calling people. I decided to follow their lead. Ring Ring.

Ring Ring. “Hi, I’m Nigel from PubAnnoy International, uhh…

We’re doing a survey t-to judge the customer exper…”

“Sorry I’m not interested. Bye.” “Alright, Thanks anyw…”

Dial tone. Nailed it.

After a while I shook my nerves and managed to say the script perfectly, but I still got the same result. Surprisingly, nobody told me to fuck off. I would have told me to fuck off. Acacia noticed that I didn’t try to convince the caller after they said no. She told me to try harder. I would have pointed out the irony of an overweight call centre supervisor telling someone to try harder, but I’m not that vindictive a person outside of print. Unlike my high school romances, I didn’t always get rejected. Sometimes I got a hold of a secretary, who said that the owner just left the premises and suggested I called back in half an hour. I registered the callback into the system and in half an hour’s time. When the time came to ring again, I got through to the owner, who promptly told me that she wasn’t interested.

Acacia told us we were allowed a twenty minute break. I looked at the other call drones, I figured this would be a lot more bearable if I had someone to talk to. First one was a balding 28-year-old man. Nope. Next was a middle aged large Samoan woman. Nah. Then there was a bogan bloke with a ponytail. Hmm… Maybe we co- Oh, Nevermind. Linkin Park T-Shirt. The last drone was a beautiful young girl with long blonde hair and a slim athletic body. We’d never get along. Oh well.

I was conflicted. I hated the job, but I liked money… Was a few hours of agony every week worth a couple extra dollars to spend on booze and failed dates? Would it get better or worse? I decided to power through. I’d get used to it.

This was what I deserved. I was always a worm. I was always spineless and lazy; never meant to survive in anything but the mud I was born in. I was gonna stay here forever. As the years went by and wealth slowly increased, I’d grow content and abandon all my unassailable dreams. After all, life will end, regardless of what you accomplish. A few years down the line, Acacia might by some miracle retire. If I filled her position then I’d have enough money to marry that trainee chick I started with. We’d move into a hovel in West Auckland. We’d have a son together… and he’ll be just as pathetic as me. The cycle of nothingness would continue.

I walked outside. The fresh air was amazingly refreshing.

The sun peeked out from a perfectly shaped circle in the dark clouds. No. This is not my destiny. I have the talents to achieve great things. Sure, these talents may not be as ‘useful’ to society, to the work machine. But they were mine damn it! And I’m gonna make something of them! I’m going to live, I’m going to be ALIVE! I started running as fast as I can.

Faster than I had ever run before. The pains of exertion were absent. No-one was pursuing me. No-one was telling me to come back. I was being imprisoned by myself. I felt no guilt as I jumped on the bus and headed home. I took one last look at the building as the sun was enveloped back into the darkened sky. Nah, just kidding, I finished my shift, went home and ignored all their calls for the rest of the week.

11

Assisted Suicide or, The Right To Do As I Damn Well Please

by Kieran Bennett

No doubt you will have heard the name Brittany Maynard either in the news or somewhere in your social media feeds lately. After all, she’s been getting a lot of attention. But it’s not because she’s saying something inspiring, or wearing something provocative, or even because she’s faking an entire overseas experience on social media. In actual fact, Brittany Maynard wants to kill herself. She wants to take her own life and, with her husband and family’s support, has moved to Ohio, taken a prescription out and is preparing to end it all on November the 1st. But Brittany isn’t depressive nor does she hate her life. She has a glioblastoma, a form of incredibly aggressive brain cancer, and only a few months to live. She’s recently come out in support of dying with dignity; the idea that if a person has a terminal disease or some kind of condition that would prevent them from living, well they should be free to die on their own terms. And I say that not only is she entitled to that, she’s morally right too.

When she announced her decision, she went public with it, she told a lot of people.

Due to the open nature of her decision it was picked up by a number of news outlets

in the states. The response was, on the whole, pretty positive with many anchors and members of the public labelling her as courageous for doing such a thing.

Perhaps she is. It takes some serious guts to fully come to terms with the fact that you are going to die, and not only die but die in serious pain. She’s outlined where and when she wants to die, and what she wants to be surrounded by. Brittany has faced her own mortality, and regardless of how morbid that concept is, there is no denying that this kind of introspection is brave. But I digress, regardless of whether or not it’s brave, I can’t help but think it’s her right. I’m a great believer in freedom of choice. But freedom of choice with an important caveat; being capable of making your own, sound decisions. I’m 21, I’m perfectly healthy mentally and I consider myself well informed on both sides of the debate so it should be my choice if I want to smoke a cigarette.

Brittany Maynard is 29 years old and has been declared of healthy mind by doctors in Ohio, so why shouldn’t she be allowed to make this decision for herself? The argument has been presented that it represents a slippery slope, or as one blogger I read put it “I am terrified to think that my children

will grow up in a culture that openly venerates suicide with this much unyielding passion”, but I don’t agree. In countries and states where this sort of thing is allowed, it’s hardly as if anyone can just go out and get prescribed this kind of treatment, it’s a rigorous process. There are multiple checks that a person has to go through, including screening for depression. According to the Death with Dignity Act Report 2013 released by the Oregon State Health Board, there have been 1173 prescriptions written for lethal doses of medication. Of that number, 752 people have used the prescription. Then of those 752 people, all of them had some form of disease, with 78.9% having some kind of “malignant neoplasm” (cancer). What’s particularly interesting is that people had an average length of doctor-patient relationship of 12 weeks and on average spent 47 days between being first prescribed the medication and actually taking it.

So the argument that it’s a slippery slope wherein such a thing can be taken advantage of isn’t only wrong, but in fact blatantly ignores the effort that doctors and legislators go through to make this

photo by James Chew

process as rigorous and safe as possible.

It’s not a slippery slope because there is no slope to begin with. Just because we’re allowing people to end their own lives free of pain and with dignity, does not mean that we’re about to let perfectly healthy people starting killing themselves.

Which brings me to the people who say she is a coward. Some said she was brave, but others are condemning her, saying she’s taking an ‘easy route’. I’d like to know what exactly is easy about consciously choosing to take your own life early. This is a woman who’s (as I said earlier) come to terms with her own death. That seems plenty brave to me. In addition to that, there is a perception, and it’s one that persists year after year, that as long as you’re alive; you’re fighting. You’re brave.

Brittany has a glioblastoma, potentially one of the most aggressive forms of brain cancer, it can also be incredibly painful as a large lump of tumours begins to swell and grow in the brain. She reported experiencing “debilitating headaches” per her diagnosis and the American Brain Tumour Association lists the symptoms as “headache, nausea, vomiting and

drowsiness”. They then go on to say that when the cancer progresses it can even lead to more physical symptoms, such as weakness in one side of the body and changes in vision. There are even cases where the tumour begins to affect the patient’s memory and speech. And of course, all the while there are headaches.

Not to mention any symptoms that may be brought about the extensive chemotherapy treatment that is required to combat a glioblastoma. So if Brittany had kept fighting, if she’d taken it to the very end she most likely would have been a broken, pain-filled shell. Hardly the way I would want to spend my last few days. Is a person brave for struggling and fighting their way to the end of a disease course?

You bet they are. But are they any less brave for making the heavy decision to end it all early? I don’t think so.

The final thing I’d like to address here, is the oft cited argument about respect for life. Many opponents of assisted suicide claim that such a philosophy has no respect for life, that it’s not up to us to decide when we die and that it shows a certain disregard for the value

that life has. While I do understand that advocating for assisted suicide does seem to fly in the face of wanting to respect life, if you respect life, how can you willingly end it? Well, the part of this argument that I never seem to click with is the fact that somehow extending your life is synonymous with respecting your life and having a quality life? There seems to be no allowance given to someone whose life has deteriorated to the point where they can’t move or they are constant pain all the time. Is there a point where we can say we’re not respecting life, but rather just respecting existence for the sake of existence?

If I was diagnosed with a terminal disease (and let’s touch wood that never happens) I would fight it to my last breath.

That’s just the way I’d want to. But that said, if it got to the point where my life was significantly pain-filled or (my worst fear) I could no longer move myself around at all; I’d probably consider ending it while I still had my dignity. And that’s what I think is the important part here. You may not agree with me or Brittany, but I feel that we should all be given the choice.

13

flickr.com/photos/martinaphotography/

How to Succeed in the Real World

By Kieran Bennett The real world is a scary place; it’s full of bills, it's full of expectations and it's full of uncertainty. How does one choose a degree?

Study? Graduate? Live life?

Well never fear dear reader, this handy guide will help you through the various pitfalls of life.

10) Make a 5, 10, 20 and 30 Year Plan.

5) Accept the First Job You Get Offered.

The first step to any successful life is box yourself into a plan. Try and imagine where you’ll be in five years, no matter how outlandish.

Once you’ve done that overly optimistic vision of the future, extrapolate it to 10 and 20 years into the future. Make sure to ignore reality quite heartily and assume that nothing will ever go wrong and everything will work out how you hope.

Now that you’ve made it back from your trip, you’re going to need a job. So apply away for every job you can find and take the first one you get offered. That way, years from now, you can blame any sense of dissatisfaction you have in adding numbers on the fact that you couldn’t actually get another job. Which we both know is a lie, but when it comes to self-delusion, who cares about the truth.

9) Take a Year Off To Find Yourself.

4) Work Solidly To Pay Of a House You Don’t Want.

Well things didn’t work out how you hoped and your plan is in tatters, now what? Well you could dust yourself off and try something else. Alternatively you could do nothing for a year and claim you’re finding yourself. This will enable you to indulge yourself in every way possible and get away with not doing anything. It is of course imperative to ignore anyone’s suggestions that you do something else, only you know how to find yourself.

The New Zealand housing market is not the greatest right now and it probably won’t get any better. So your only option if you want to own a little quarter acre like they did in the 50s is to work really hard. In fact, just work to the exclusion of all other hobbies and interests that you may have in the pursuit of said quarter acre.

Ignore the desire you have to paint and rent yourself a little loft apartment, it's not what you really want. What you really want is 60 hour weeks and tax return forms.

8) Choose a Degree That Will Pay Well in the Future I guess it would be nice to eat, so now is a good time to go back to school or to gain some kind of qualification. But don’t even think about entertaining the idea of doing what you love. Instead choose a qualification that will let you pull in the mad dollahs.

Everyone knows that dreams are for chumps, bums and arts majors.

7) Complain About Your Course, but Don’t Dare Leave It. I understand that your course is stressful, and I understand that you hate it more than life itself, so feel free to complain as much as humanely possible. But, and this is important, don’t even think about leaving it. That’s right; your suffering is important and will help you become a better accountant. Also, you’ve already sunk yourself into thousands of dollars’ worth of debt and invested large amounts of time, why give up now? You may be miserable, but you’re not a quitter.

6) Graduate and Take A Few Months Off To See the World.

Now that you’ve made it out the other side, you might want to think about engaging in some much-needed travel. The world is a massive, sprawling place just waiting to be explored. But only some parts. Only the safe parts that are covered by a Contiki tour. So go on and take a bit of time off to explore a few, select pieces of the world in a small, sanitised bubble. It’ll make you cultured, experienced and wise in the ways of the world.

3) Vicariously Live Out Your Destroyed Dreams through Your Children.

Well you might not have been a painter, but that doesn’t mean your kids can’t be. Push them, pressure them and basically force them to take up the arts, even if they have a burning passion for numbers.

2) Wonder Where it All Went Wrong.

Now that you’ve almost shuffled off this mortal coil, it's time to think back to when your life went so wrong. Was it when you abandoned your dreams? Was it when you decided to play the safe option?

Or was it one of a million other things that are going to be keeping you awake over the next few years? Whatever you do, don’t make any effort to improve your situation, simply allow yourself to wallow in misery.

1) Don’t Listen to This Article or Any of the Other PseudoScientific Bullshit Ones Like it.

There is no recipe for happiness, never has been. So figure out what makes you happy, and do that, damn the money and damn the job security. Be a painting accountant.

15

by Laurien Barks So, last week I had to go to a formal awards ceremony. This meant that I was obliged to shed the boy’s jumper, brush the matts out of my hair, and put on a fancy bra that forcefully strangled me away from the gentle hug of my usual Farmers specials. It’s not that I don’t enjoy getting dressed up every now and then, I can definitely appreciate the fun factor, it’s just not something that I’ve ever been good at. Hair is complicated, I’m far too clumsy to keep my pretty dresses rip/stain free, and in my opinion, makeup is the devil. Luckily, for this particular evening, I had my mum to fix my dress when I put it on wrong, my friend to step in and do my hair when all I could manage to do was burn my ear with a curling iron, and a dad to run out and buy me panty hose when we realized that my legs had more bruises than we could count. However, when it came to putting on makeup, I was on my own. I usually have someone around to help me with the powders and creams, but not this time...this time I had to leave my face in my own, incredibly incompetent hands.

It took me a solid hour to get everything to a satisfactory level. And that hour wasn’t spent putting the makeup on, oh no, I went for simplistic. The actual application time took a collective fifteen minutes tops, it was fixing all the mistakes that claimed the rest of the time. But after accidentally foundationing my eyebrows to be the colour of my skin, wiping the dark lipstick stain off my collar bone (don’t ask how, because I don’t freaking know), and getting the mascara off my cheeks, forehead, and hair, I walked out of that bathroom, triumphant as heck! It would have horrified any and every makeup artist around, but for someone who thought concealer was a weirdly coloured lipstick until last month, it looked pretty good, and I felt even better. For about half an hour. Then my eyes got itchy, my skin felt thick, and it was all I could do to not tear my eyelashes off because the pain would

be worth it to get rid of the gloopy icky feeling that accompanied their ‘prettiness.’

The whole event just reassured me that makeup and I were not made to get along.

We tolerate each other in a civilised manner, help one another when the situation is dire, but on a daily basis we don’t give each other any more than a passing nod. It takes away my time, it takes away my money, and it takes away my highly-valued comfort. There’s far too much to worry about when I have it on. I can’t rub my eyes when they’re itchy, I can’t laugh uncontrollably without worrying about streaks from the tears, and anytime I wear lipstick I can pretty much guarantee that half of it is going to end up on my clothing by the end of the day. I’m unashamed to say that I basically hate the stuff. I bypass it on a daily basis...maybe a swipe of mascara or a tinted lip balm on a particularly groggy day, but that’s my limit.

I know the ‘Makeup: do we, don’t we?’ argument is as outdated as the pink eye shadow plus lip combo, and I also know a lot of people find joy in the creativity of it all.

That’s great, and I don’t have a problem with that kind of thing; it’s fun, it’s colourful, and there are certainly worse ways to spend your time. What gets me is the fact that we seem to live in a society where not wearing makeup is considered a pretty big deal. It’s not typically regarded as feminine, makeupless celebrities make magazine headlines, and posting a ‘no makeup selfie’ on Facebook becomes a creepily supportive network of comradery. I don’t have a problem with people wearing makeup, because I do understand that a lot of it is for individual preferences and tastes, similar to clothing choices and hairstyles, but I do have a problem with the growing ‘need’ for it.

I’m forever hearing girls claim that they can’t leave the house without their eyebrows on; that they feel naked without their eyeliner.

When I was in college, it wasn’t uncommon to

flickr.com/photos/thatedeguy/

THE BARE-FACE LIE.

see girls in the bathroom morning, noon, and night touching up their foundation because God-forbid anyone see their real skin. I think it’s sad when our confidence becomes tied up in anything appearance or material related. To me, people who need makeup are like people who need brand name clothes or plastic surgeries; an unhealthy reliance on materials to try and build status or acceptance or confidence. But society doesn’t appear to see eye to eye with me on that, just yet. We don’t see a whole lot of ‘Gucci-less’ Facebook picture campaigns, because people don’t place a ‘heroic’ label on the act of saying no to brands. Yet it’s considered ‘brave’ and worthy of attention if a makeupless photo graces a newsfeed? The reliance on the stuff is extremely unfortunate. While I can’t speak on behalf of all women, makeup is usually used to boost confidence. In my opinion it does the opposite. True independent confidence comes from you, just you, the natural you, and if you can’t rock the natural you without covering it in slimy paste, the confidence is dependent.

I mean…have your make up, love it, wear it, indulge in it, but in the name of all that is good in this world, don’t need it.

My mum always taught me that makeup was to enhance, not cover. And, when you think of it, it’s exceptionally easy to differentiate between the two kinds of users. There’s a whole other level of radiance that exudes from a ‘want’ made-up look in comparison to a ‘need.’ I realize that ultimately, everyone is going to make their own decisions based on what makes them feel their best. All I can do is suggest trying the bare-faced thing once or twice…you can’t really know what your best is until you’ve experienced the whole spectrum, after all. Go to a makeup-less movie, a grocery run, or a trip to the local cafe, it doesn’t hurt to dip your toe in the water. And trust me, the first time your eyes itch and you have the freedom to wholeheartedly go to town…you’ll want to dive in head first.

- ACTUALLY DECENT HORROR FILMS by Matthew Cattin

Horror films have a bad rep, and usually with good reason. Clichéd, poorly acted, predictable, gory, and often just plain stupid, the genre is littered with horrible films. However, if you can be bothered sifting through the shit, there are genuine gems to be discovered. Here is my pick of quality horrors to get you through this Halloween.

The Classics The Exorcist (1973) Often bandied about as the greatest horror film of all, The Exorcist shocked cinema-goers the world over with its unflinching depiction of a possessed youngster. Unafraid to offend, the film had some rather intense imagery, perhaps most notoriously the neck-turning scene, the spider walk down the stair case, and of course, the infamous crucifix and its nasty whereabouts.

The audience reactions in cinemas have since become legendary. Priests started showing up at cinemas, anointing those entering the theatres and handing out reading material, audience members threw up or fainted in their seats and many ran out crying. It was hysteria, and it has never been forgotten.

Memorable Quote: “The power of Christ compels you!”

MVP: The makeup team. Beats CGI any day of the week.

The Omen (1976) Similar to The Exorcist, but in my opinion the better of the two, The Omen has for a long time been my favourite horror film. It just has it all; scary priests, a brilliant score, a strong script, suspense, thrills, intelligence, and for its day, rather impressive special effects. It’s the story of a father’s quest for the truth when he is warned his son Damien may be the son of the devil. It may sound silly on paper, but it’s one helluva ride.

Memorable Quote: “Look at me, Damien! It’s all for you!”

MVP: Billie Whitelaw, who plays Damien’s protector Mrs. Baylock. Find me a scarier woman and I’ll eat my hat.

The Shining (1980) Under the legendary Stanley Kubrick’s direction, Stephen King’s novel The Shining became a whole different beast. King wasn’t a huge fan, but the world disagreed – the adaption is brilliant. Starring the inimitable Jack Nicholson, it’s a story of isolation, guilt, madness, and of course, the Overlook Hotel. It’s one of those films referenced so frequently in pop culture that while watching, you’ll make dozens of connections and think to yourself, “oohhhhh, so that’s where that came from…” Do yourself a favour and see this film.

Memorable Quote: “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

MVP: Undoubtedly Jack Nicholson. He is a master class.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) The film that introduced the world to Freddy Krueger, A Nightmare on Elm Street is the perfect concept for a horror film – a mad villain who imaginatively murders you in your dreams.

Good luck sleeping lol. With his razor clawed gloves, manky sweater, scarred face and fedora, Freddy is one of the most recognizable slasher film villains of all and he took great pleasure in terrifying the children of the 80s. The story is a bit cheesy, and the ending is maddening, but this is unquestionably a classic.

Memorable Quote: “Whatever you do... Don’t.

Fall. Asleep.”

MVP: Robert Englund as Freddy. A match made in hell. Oh, and special mention to young Johnny Depp.

The Modern Blair Witch Project (1999) Perhaps a controversial addition to the list because of its ending, but you can’t deny the film’s impact. Made on a budget of only 25K, the film went on to reap near 250 million at the box office, a feat pretty much unheard of in the film industry. It wasn’t the first found footage film to be made, but it certainly blasted the doors open for the style and films such as Cloverfield and Paranormal Activity. That and the fact it scared the bejesus out of me as a youngster…

Memorable Quote: “I'm afraid to close my eyes, I'm afraid to open them.”

MVP: The film’s ambiguity. It terrifies without ever giving the villain a face.

The Orphanage (2007) Orphanages are scary places at the best of times… Youngsters, void of love, creeping around, playing eerie kiddy games… no deal.

Na-ah. I’m gonna level with you though, The Orphanage sounds stupid, like some run of the mill, poorly produced horror film. But nay, this Spanish nail biter was enjoyed by the critics and by yours truly. It’s a haunted house film, but with a difference. If you don’t mind subtitles, get into it, and try to unravel the mystery at the heart of this excellent film.

Memorable Quote: “Seeing is not believing, it's the other way round. Believe, and you will see.”

MVP: The orphan in the mask… You’ll know.

The Conjuring (2013) I re-watched this one last week, and the fact it freaked me out a second time as much as it did the first is a testament to its quality. The plot is nothing new for horror fans, but there are some original scares to be found in this modern horror classic. It will likely be a bit tarnished by unnecessary sequels and spinoffs, but as a standalone, it will be remembered as the film to bring scary back. Clap clap.

Memorable Quote: “Want to play a game of hide and clap?”

MVP: The fantastic cinematography; it’s inventive, skilful, and lends some pizazz to a tired genre. 17

SPORTS WORDFIND

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Email:

Circle all the words in the Wordfind, tear this page out & pop it into the box on the side of the red debate stands, and you could win this motherflippin’ sweet prize:

A 10$ gift voucher to be redeemed at any of these uni cafes:

And two free cheeseburger vouchers for Burger King [222 Queen Street]

GET AMONGST!

PEOPLE WHO NEED A SLAP ON THE WRIST CROSSWORD

by Kieran Wrist-Slappin Bennett

Across 2) Love yourself like he loves himself 3) One of the most obnoxious TV hosts…in the world 10) Gay hating Russian overlord 11) Irish activist who has managed to do nothing but degrade his band’s image and wear hideous sunglasses 12) Billy Ray’s twerking daughter Down 1) Beater of woman and producer of terrible rap songs 2) Famous for a sex tape and crying like a whale 3) Freedom crushing, smirking bastard in power for one term too many 4) Owner of Newscorp and the Australian elections 5) Sharp, 7 tongued radio host from New Zealand 6) Washed up C4 host who keeps making music no one asks for 7) Billionaire with a bad toupee named after a duck 8) Dear leader of best Korea 9) Irish named Fox News host with a penchant for doing everything live

19

UPDATES Stand Out from the crowd!

Nominate Yourself!

Nominations for the 2015 Student Executive Council are open from October 20-24! There are 14 positions available, definitely a great first step into the real world! Being on the Student Executive is a great experience and ensures all AUT students have a collective voice. It also looks great on your C.V! Check your AUT email for the nomination details or go to http:// bit.ly/AuSMSRC2015 for more information.

Nominate your favourite AUT Staff for an AuSM Award!

Few more weeks to go and it’s your chance to show your appreciation for your favourite AUT lecturers and supporting staff!

You have the opportunity to nominate them in the following categories: ·

Best Lecturer

·

Best Academic Support Staff

·

Best Postgraduate Supervisor

·

Best Librarian

·

Best Non-Academic Support

Mobile phone top ups Get $0.50 discount per top up when you top up $20 or more!

Phone top up services available at any AuSM@AUT office on Campus!

Head on in to grab a top up for Vodafone, Telecom, 2 Degrees or Skinny! *Discount applies to students only. ID may be requested to gain discount.

Perfect gift for your loved ones AuSM now sells Entertainment books 14/15 at $65. It has more than 100 wonderful offers at local restaurants, hotels and activities. Entertainment books are available at all AuSM offices!

Staff Nominate at www.ausm.org.nz or follow the quick link: http://bit.ly/ AuSMAwardNominate Nominations close 13th November.

PREZ SEZ

gurlz but refused because of upcoming exams. In some cases this is considered wise, however why deprive yourself of one good night out? De-stressing, unwinding and relaxing never did anyone any harm.

Kia ora koutou, Acting Vice-President JT here, hoping you are all well leading up to one of the most crucial times of the academic year.

I do hope everyone is working hard in preparation for exams because hard work pays and you cannot fluke exams no matter how intelligent you may think you are.

However, everyone does need to remember to have a few breaks every now and again. As student President April Pokino said last week in her study tips, working hard is essential but so is resting, and another essential part of rest and recuperation is having a bit of fun.

Of course I am not saying have a night on the town the night before your exam… that would be stupid. What I am saying is if you plan well you can have a little bit of fun before getting into serious study.

The AuSM team has taken this into consideration and has planned such a night out for everyone before the going gets tough and the tough get going.

The event has been appropriately planned for this coming Friday and there are a lot of AuSM things lined up.

De-Stress, unwind and relax before the study starts to tax.

Te rangimarie me te aroha

There is no doubt in my mind that everyone at some stage during their tertiary study wanted to go out and have a bit of fun with the lads or the

Nga mihi Acting Vice-President Joshua Tupene.

employee so that you can protect yourself before you get into trouble.

Here are some things you should bear in mind: MINIMUM WAGE

AuSM's ADVOCACY Q&A ACADEMIC ISSUES AND EMPLOYMENT Hi AuSM AUT students!

In this issue, we would like to go through legal issues that you may face at your workplace. Read this carefully before you run and sign your life away for the coming summer break! But before we get into that…

P.S – EXTENSIONS (I had to add this one in as A LOT of students are unaware that this is available to them!)

Extensions are probably your first point of call when you feel that you’re unable to complete your assessment or sit a test/exam on time AND you have a GOOD reason. If you applied for an extension on time, you could have avoided many of the potential academic problems, including plagiarism. Extensions can be granted for various reasons, but if you’ve got a GOOD/REAL reason, APPLY! Also, talk to your lecturer/ paper leader/program leader if you feel you’re at a dead end and facing a brick wall e.g. family issues, bereavement, mental/physical illness affecting your study. Believe it or not, they are there to HELP YOU! You’d be unwise to not ask for help when you need it. They do know and understand that you have a life outside of your studies!

Q: How do you apply for one?

1. Log onto AUT Online 2. Click into “My Organisations” → Your Faculty → “Extensions & UG New Applications” 3. Fill out the Application 4. Produce your evidence eg Doctor’s Certificate via Student Info Centre within 3 DAYS. If not, it will be declined!

5. If the due date is too close (less than 3 days) then also dropin an email to your lecturer and paper/program leader to advise that you are putting through an Extension Application – explain your situation.

NOW, LET’S TALK ABOUT WORKPLACE! Q: Can they get me to work for FREE in return for experience/trial?

No! Not if the employer is gaining a financial benefit i.e. $ from the work you do.

I do feel for many students and fresh graduates who opt to take on a “volunteer/trainee” position so they have something to write on their CV and to get their foot in the door. To be honest, even I had thought about this when the job market was difficult. BUT this is illegal and exploitation! There are sharks out there, eager to take a bite out of you. So, it’s really important that you’re aware of YOUR RIGHTS as an

Currently, the minimum wage for workers aged 16 and over is $14.25 (before tax) / hour. EVERY employee in NZ should get at least the minimum wage, whether they are a full-time, part-time, or casual employee.

This also includes those who get paid on a piece rate (i.e. those who get so many cents per kg of fruits picked). Employer and employee CAN’T contract out of this to pay a rate below the minimum wage.

Many employers take advantage if you’re a student, get paid in cash, or if you don’t have NZ Residency etc… BUT remember, this is YOUR RIGHT. Immigration NZ takes this issue very seriously – exploitation of workers without proper visas or those wishing to obtain residency in future – so talk to them if you have any concerns, they have a policy not to penalise you for it.

TRIAL PERIODS This is a major problem for students and fresh grads. Many employers put in the contract that a new employee needs to complete “xx hours” of trial period without pay. THIS IS ILLEGAL! The Employment Court has put their hands up to say that the legislation is clear on this issue. This being, there’s to be NO FREE TRIAL PERIODS if the employer is gaining some sort of commercial gain out of your work. E.g. If you’re doing three days trial as a barista at a café during their open hours, and you make coffee that is sold to customers in its usual way, the café is making money from your services and therefore need to pay you for those hours worked.

On the other hand, current NZ law says that an employment contract may have up to 90 days of trial period by negotiation and mutual agreement in a voluntary way. The trial period exists so that it allows the employer to assess your skills and capabilities to do the job. If they find that you aren’t any good, they can fire you on or before this time without you having the right to raise a personal grievance on the grounds of unjustified dismissal, NOT to give a chance for the employer to get the job done for free. Also, you are still entitled to ALL other minimum employee rights including the minimum wage (we will discuss more in another issue of debate).

This is different to a TRAINING PERIOD. This may involve an induction day or training hours that don’t involve your work generating revenue for the employer (this is the key factor).

Q: Can I ask for a copy of my EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT? I’m only picking strawberries though…

It doesn’t matter. Every employment MUST come with a written employment contract. This is good idea for both the employer and employee as when you sign it off, both parties will be on the same page as to what they’re required to do and what they can expect from each other. Ministry of Business Innovation and Employment website has a tool to help employers to draw up a contract, so every employer can’t use the excuse that they aren’t a lawyer.

If you get a written contract and some bits don’t make sense or you don’t agree to any parts of it, ask questions and clarify with your new boss before you sign it!

If you think you have an issue with the Extensions or if you come across an issue at your workplace, CONTACT US. We are here to help you with these problems! Also, we can give you contacts if we can’t help you from our end.

Email us on advocacy@aut.ac.nz with your details and concerns.

In the last issue of debate for 2014, we’ll look into drink driving. Hope this preps you for the coming festive season!!

Until then…Make most of what you have right NOW – time.

Ciao!

21

SLAM STORM

photos by Rawhitiroa Photography - www.rawhitiroa.com

by Laurien Barks

Grumpy Cat, Britney Spears, and Double Rainbow...when an internet storm hits, it hits hard, my friends. Raining down on our newsfeeds, thundering loud above any work that we’re trying to accomplish, and usually striking so fast that it’s gone before we can wrap our heads around what’s happening. Like most other aspects of my life, I’m usually about ten paces behind the rest of the world, curled up inside by the fireplace with a cat on my lap and a picture book in my hand, while the internet rages on outside my window. Only realizing what’s happened when I step out into the shattered remains of week-old statuses and memes. I tend to spend the majority of my internet time Googling how to live my life (ie. ‘Is it acceptable to dip pizza crusts in chocolate sauce?’, ‘How to get rid of recurring rashes?’, ‘Why am I single?’ etc.) so, I don’t run into a whole lot of Youtube/celebrity goss culture. However, when it came to slam poetry, I seemed to jump the gun a little bit. I got myself a mini-head start on the world and was actually a little excited to see it explode all over the place a few months later.

While I’ve never felt compelled to get up on a stage and participate in a poetry slam, myself, I have enjoyed choosing and watching from the buffet of internet options that have been at my fingertips.

I’ve always been a fan of experimental anything. Food, music, films, even the occasional painting. I definitely wouldn’t classify myself as highly cultured, but I mean, if something’s new, I like to try it at least once! That’s why slam poetry tickled my fancy. It put a new spin on an artistic medium that hadn’t really caught my interest a whole lot in the past. It turned words on a page into lyricism. Words that were still artistic, still creatively arranged and inspired, but showcased in a way that allowed me to see the poet’s connection to them. It’s kind of like live spoken music, it’s emotion that I can hear in their recital, and see in their expression, and that’s why I’ve become a bit of a closet fan. I don’t like that it gets a bad rep for being pretentious or ‘too artsy.’ Rhythmically saying, shouting, or whispering about topics that are important to you, is no different than singing a song, filming a documentary, or any other form of creative escape that the rest of us decide to partake in.

I decided it was time to dig a bit deeper into the world of slam poetry; go beyond my Google/Upworthy/Youtube search bar, if you will. I had noticed a trend in the style of the poets who went viral. Poems like Shrinking Women by Lily Myers, Fantastic Breasts and Where to Find Them by Brenna Twohy, and Savannah Brown’s What Guys Look for in Girls, were all effective, cleverly written, and incorporated non-abstract terms that were easy for us less-thandeep types to follow. I was a fan, but like all things experimental, I knew the art of slam poetry had to be a bit more three dimensional than what I was currently being exposed to. Real world slam poet, Joni Nelson, confirmed my ‘there must be more’ suspicions.

“It’s really great that we can get access to so many slam poems online and that they’re getting such a good response!

“However it can be quite a narrow view of slam poetry, particularly stylistically, and usually takes a pretty generic, easily understandable stance. I’d hope that people found these more popular poems online, connected with them, and then went searching to see what else is out there.”

'Slam poetry offers me a stage in which to place my work. I had all these ideas in my head before, which I wanted to express to people, and no way to do it' As for what else is out there…it seems conversing with poets, themselves, and attending as many slams as are available is the only way to know for sure.

I asked another slam poet, Hannah-Rose Owen-Wright, about what kind of poetry really makes an impression on her; what really gets those fingers clicking.

“Anything that I don't feel like I've heard before. Clever, beautiful and artful use of language. But in a slam, the performance itself - as disparate from the text - is massively influential to how you engage with the poem. How the poet holds themselves on stage, how they look at the audience, how they speak. If they're present, and engaging, it makes a massive difference.”

In speaking, to both of these lovely ladies, it seems like with any art form, the audience-poet relationship is of the utmost importance.

Hannah-Rose explained that the audience was what she places importance on when writing and performing her poetry.

“In slam, there's a focus on needing to engage the audience. And the kind of audience you get at a slam is usually very responsive to a poet that really tries to reach them - rather than the kind that deliberately obfuscates to create a more dynamic engagement between speaker/writer & listener/reader - so I find narrative based poetry works well in a slam environment. In the limited space of a three minute slam poem, getting up and telling a real story is one of the most effective ways to engage with the audience.”

Joni’s appreciation for the presence of a poetic audience reflected this positivity as she expressed, ‘Slam’s a pretty unique way, as a writer, to see people so visibly and audibly respond to your work, in theatre the audience can be really passive, but on a slam stage you hear them clicking, or laughing and you can really tell if what you’ve written has resonated with them or not.”

Having a history in the dramatic arts as well as musical performance, I found myself feeling comforted by the mere mention of a responsive audience. A group of people to inadvertently say ‘you did good.’ Anyone who’s attended a concert, slam, or motivational speech can tell you that it’s a pretty spectacular feeling when a roomful of people can be tied together with a string of words, and I have an extreme level of respect for any musician, poet, or speaker who has the ability to create that kind of atmosphere. Whether it be the focus of topics that hit you right in the heart, or musings of sweet nothings that your inner child can relate to, I can’t help myself from hoping that this internet storm and building hobby continues to grow and evolve. I’m curious to see just how much of a beneficial addition to modern society this style of art can be. It certainly has the potential to be as varied, unique, and all-encompassing as music culture, all it’s lacking is a broadened acceptance that I think is rooted in lack of education on the subject. But Hannah-Rose reassured me that popularity continues to be on the rise.

“They (slams) tend to draw a good crowd, so it’s a good chance to get your stuff out there to a bigger audience, and if you impress someone in the crowd, it can always lead to more gigs.”

As a writer, myself, I think it’s awesome to see the written word getting off the page and taking on different forms. It can get a bit lonely behind a pen or keyboard, but Hannah-Rose states that “It stops writing from feeling like a solitary activity and makes it communal, and genuinely communicative.”

For Joni, it’s a means of self-expression, when no other art form with do.

“Slam poetry offers me a stage in which to place my work.

I had all these ideas in my head before, which I wanted to express to people, and no way to do it. They just didn’t translate into any of the other creative mediums I was into. Spoken word gave me that opportunity, and slam gave me an audience.”

While I realize that, like any creative medium, we all have our niche, I think that slam poetry is still one of the underdogs when it comes to an open-minded appreciation. It’s currently quite a topical art form, focusing on subject matter that falls under the genres of ‘political’ and ‘societal,’ and in my opinion, this has the ability to scare certain individuals away. I encourage people to dig a little deeper, explore a little wider, and find a variation of slam poetry that makes you say ‘Whoa.’ The media has only painted a very small aspect of it, don’t let that little glimpse define your opinion on the entire world of this pretty cool art form. That’s like believing all music is classical, or all films are horror. The mere tip of the ice-berg, my friends. So get amongst it, try it on for size, who knows…your poetic niche might be a mere finger snap away.

23

POST IT FROM THE ROOF-TOPS

By Amelia Petrovich What I’ve come to realize is that we live in a time where our lives are transparent and privacy is hilarious. As soon as you enter the wonderful realm of social media (i.e., every second of always if you’re anything like me), you will be bombarded with useless snapshots of people’s mundane lives. I have absolutely no desire to know how cute my primary schoolmate’s new baby is when he hurls all over his crib, and yet somehow I do. I really don’t give a shit how ‘#yummy and #clean’ my bestie’s white girl brunch is, and yet somehow I’m reading all about it.

People are so sharing and caring nowadays and whether that’s sweet or painful is entirely up to you.

But if this is the way that we depict useless life crap online, how do we deal with the parts of our lives that actually matter? I am talking of course about that all important moment, that moment when you and the McSpunky man, woman or whoever in your life who you decide to take things up to the next level of the ‘serious’ tower with. When you enter into an ‘official’ relationship (whatever ‘official’ is supposed to mean, as if no relationship exists unless it involves some kind of binding proposal, because this is the nineteenth century), does it need to become ‘Facebook official’ too?

This is something I’ve always been interested in and it’s a debate which I have seen played out time and time again, even between wellestablished couples. I personally could go my entire life without being Facebook official anything, I don’t need to tell the world that I’m single, that I’m taken, that ‘it’s complicated’… to me it’s always just seemed like a lot more drama than it’s worth. Back in the golden ages of face-toface communication, you got to pick and choose whom you sought sympathy or approval from. Maybe you’d tell your best mate you’d broken up with your significant other if you needed a shoulder to teardrench. You would tell a few people, not the entire universe. In this way Facebook officiation could debatably be thought of as fame fishing.

You just entered a new relationship? Tell the whole world, get a zillion messages of congratulations. Had your heart broken? Tell the whole world, get a zillion rounds of ‘u alright bbz? Xx’.

That being said though, I’m not an entirely unfeeling hag. I chatted to a friend the other day whose boyfriend insisted they proclaim their love to the world because he was just so excited and ‘needed to show her off’.

And dear lord, if that doesn’t melt your heart into a pool of slush I don’t know what will. Maybe ‘Facebook Official’ is another way of saying ‘so damn excited I need everyone to know about it’. Could this be the digital version of ‘screaming it from the rooftops’?

Basically, what it probably comes down to (as with everything) is personal values and opinions. I spoke to a few cool cats around the place and asked them why (or why not) they chose to make things ‘Facebook Official’.

'We’re Facebook OFFIcial'

Taylor, Age 20 (together two months) “We just decided to so people would know and because we were proud of it and he said he wanted to show me off.”

Alan, Age 20 (together four months) “Because we have a common group of friends and we were doing it for the fun/reactions. But also because our love should be shouted from the rooftops - and I even put an ad in the paper for it. I did cave paintings on the subject for future generations.”

Amelia: Care to elaborate??

“No, I didn’t, it was a joke Mills.”

Amelia: Oh fuck u!

“Come on now I’m not stupid or romantic.”

Amelia: Permission to add to the article anyway?

“You're required to.”

Jenny, Age 21 (together almost 18 months) “We took a while to actually put it online, maybe three months into the relationship which is now approaching the 18 month mark! Put it online because I wanted to show off a little bit that I was off the market (lame, I know), but also so that family overseas and things stop asking about my love life!”

Thomas, Age 20 (together two years) “I chose to do it because of the ‘official’ statement it makes and it's the easiest way to tell a large group of people.”

'We AREN'T Facebook OFFIcial'

Jodi, Age 19 (together 11 months) "I guess because I don't like to share what I consider to be private things on Facebook and also because I didn't want anyone to comment or pass judgment.”

Mitch, Age 20 (together two years) “I never really cared about being Facebook Official. All my friends should be close enough to know who I'm dating anyway. Also, I'm still "married" to some dude I met a party years ago and I can't just abandon him like that.”

Emily, Age 20 (together two years) “Well, I've always been a bit wary about giving information such as my relationship status and home town on Facebook, due to general mistrust of everything. But mostly it's just that everyone important to us should already know.”

Pia, Age 21 (together eight months) “Because I don't really see the point. Facebook official is legitimately just a way to get likes and I don't think a relationship needs that. Also I'm "married" to my best friend on Facebook so I don't think she would have appreciated it haha. And finally, being the realist that I am, I wouldn't want to have to go through a break up and change my relationship status on FB and have everyone know about it.”

James, Age 23 (together two months) “It’s not published on Facebook due to my ex-partner having a baby and the possibility of having to go through a custody battle.”

Let It Flow

By Laurien Barks With one of my majors being Psychology, one can safely assume that I’ve taken a Psych paper or two in my time. While I don’t wish to be the next Dr Phil, or even take Psych beyond a Bachelor’s degree, I really can say that it’s one of the most fascinating subjects I’ve ever studied. And that’s not just my biased opinion. Psych is one of those papers that many of us took in high school or first year uni as a filler and fell in love with it, seriously considered pursuing it as a career, and then realized we lacked the passion, skill, and personality to endure the eight to ten years of study required.

It’s one of those rare subjects that has something for everyone; some aspect that everyone, regardless of passions, upbringing, or personality type, can relate to and find interesting. Why is that? Because it’s the study of us. It’s how we, personally, work. It’s something we can apply to our individual daily lives. It helps us understand ourselves and the people we’re surrounded by. It’s one of the few subjects out there that manages universal coverage and malleability. So I’ve hopped on board the ‘undergraduate Psych students who think they’re god’ train and decided to inform the lot of you on my favourite topic study so far: Finding your Flow.

Once I got ovary the vast array of period humour this particular topic title was dripping with, I slapped a look of professionalism on my face and readied myself to learn. It didn’t take long at all for me to be distracted from my immaturity and have my interest captured...finding your flow was fantastic! I wanted to skip out of the room and find my own flow, but as it turns out, it’s one of those things that everyone’s incredibly familiar with but never thinks a whole lot about.

Something that seemed far too ‘spiritual’ in my original opinion, to be covered under such scientific coursework. Yet here we were... reading about one of the most awesome, alleviating, magical feelings on earth as though it was nothing more than a piece of scientific research. And, as contradictory and reversed as it sounds, that kind of made the whole idea of flow more special to me... because it brought it beyond ‘feeling’ and into existence.

You know that state of mind you enter when you’re doing something you adore.

Something that encompasses your entire mind and puts you in the ultimate ‘here and now, nothing else matters’ zone? For some people it’s playing a sport, reading, acting, cooking, heck...one guy in my class even wrote about entering this state when he was having sex with his girlfriend (hawkward). Most of us are able to enter this state through a few different activities. My personal ‘flow’ activities include listening to music and writing. Though each individual varies in preferences and domains, the way our minds react is much the same. We become unable to be mentally present anywhere else but the immediate moment. It is an activity that requires both mindful presence and mindless absence; our senses are challenged enough to keep us enthralled, but there is also enough ease and skill involved to make the activity seem effortless. Time speeds, slows, or loses all relevance completely as our minds are wholly involved and encompassed by our drive to score, the pages of our novel, the yarn of our knitting needles, the position of our scalpel, etc. It’s a state of individuality that adds colour to an, otherwise, monotonous existence. It’s the closest thing the lot of us will ever get to a mental Utopia.

Within a flow activity, we not only lose ourselves in the joy of the activity, but we find a sense of meaning, and belonging as well. When we find our flow, we find a purpose. Why do I bring this up? Because depression rates are on the rise, young adult suicide rates are horrifyingly high, and while I can’t officially speak on behalf of each individual case, I can declare that not many people who feel like they’re important and with purpose plunge into that kind of darkness. In my opinion, if more of us knew about flow, if more of us appreciated how uniquely individual and wholly encompassing it is, we’d have a happier population wandering around. Whether your flow is found in paramedic rescues, or in your Xbox, it’s something that’s individually yours. It’s an aspect of the world that has the ability to take hold of your mind and actions, and consequently reward you with the feeling of finding your niche. Your flow is the gateway into understanding the complexity of the elements you’re composed of, finding it is the first step toward discovering the you-shaped space in this mosaic society. Contrary to what my good friend Chuck Palahniuk would tell you, I do believe we’re special, and I do believe that we’re beautiful and unique snowflakes despite us being made of the same decaying matter.

Find your flow. Find the thing that makes you forget what time is and encourages you to feel strong, and do it often. I mean, if we’re all going to wind up in the same boring compost heap anyway, we might as well make it colourful.

25

By Matthew Cattin I like to think I am a fairly hospitable type. I don’t yet own my own home, but when guests arrive, be they family friends or my gang, I’m quick to put the kettle on, crank some tunes and chat away happily. I love slumber parties, I love having people come over for dinner and I love unexpected visits from spontaneous friends. But when my home becomes a long term lodging for an international student, my patience has been known to become stretched.

Even with the genuinely lovely students, it can sometimes get a bit much.

Sure they’re lovely, but at the end of the day, it’s an extra human living all up in your house, finishing the last of the milk, wanting to hang out and asking for help with the bus timetable. Some days, you want to just come home from work and crash, without having to deal with broken English and the desperate struggle to find some common ground to awkwardly discuss.

And then there are those so irritating, you find yourself counting the days until their departure.

We’ve had our fair share of students over the years, from Asia, South America and Europe. Some have been enjoyable, others tolerable, and a few have driven me damn near mad. Perhaps it’s just a cultural difference… But certainly there are some things frowned upon in every country, right? Here are a few stories…

We had a young lad stay with us from Japan while I was in college. He was nice enough; very polite, shy and a bit lacking in confidence. After a week or so of his company, it became apparent that the poor lad was under a heck of a lot of pressure from home to learn English. He would pace up and down the kitchen each night, visibly aggravated, damning his language progress and obsessively asking mum for advice on spelling and grammar. It wasn’t good, and it became obvious quite quickly the poor guy wasn’t in a good headspace.

It was probably a month or more that this went on for, and we were all about at our wits end with the kid’s agitated behaviour. And then the school called… Apparently, this poor lad (or more likely his pressuring parents) had lied on his application form about his mental health records and he was never meant to be on the trip in the first place.

.flickr.com/photos/geishaboy500/

STAY HOME, HOME STAYS

They recommended we keep any knives or sharp objects out of sight as he had a history of self-harm and attempted suicide. I was home alone when I heard the news from mum, and our home stay was due home any minute. I was told to keep him cool until help arrived. He came home a short while later, stressing out and drenched in perspiration. He immediately started packing his things. I tentatively walked into his room and asked what he was up to. “Running away!” he gasped. So he’s obviously heard the news, I thought…

He calmed down a bit, and seemed to accept his fate – he was to go home immediately. My folks insisted he could stay, as despite his permanent state of agitation, he was a nice enough guy, but the call had already been made. A few teachers came to pick him up, and he was gone before we could say sayonara.

We’ve had a few other incidents which have made me wonder if it’s all worthwhile… Korean girls who boiled the jug, carried it downstairs to their room, filled their bathroom basin and made noodles in there (where they wash their hands), Korean boys who stabbed holes in the ceiling with a souvenir taiaha, and a Japanese boy who locked himself in the bathroom when it was time to go home because he didn’t want to leave.

And then there was one that exceeded my expectations of horrid homestays… Arrogant, rude, and difficult to keep up conversation with, this one had habits that made me desperately count the days til he boarded his flight home. One day mum went into his room to change his sheets. She pulled the bed away from the wall, and discovered a secret stash so disgusting, it still makes my stomach curl – a collection of toenails, fingernails, and chunks of dried snot. In what culture is that okay?

On top of that delicious discovery, he would always – despite being told every day – walk his muddy or sandy shoes inside and all through the carpet, leave his dirty underwear sitting on the back of the toilet and laugh when it was suggested he help with dishes from time to time. He also ate all the cheese. All of it. A whole wheel of cheese. It wasn’t amazing and I was mad.

So, would I recommend getting a home stay? Well, no, no I wouldn’t. Stay home, home stays.

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HARRY POTTER FAN ART WINNERS! We asked you to draw us your best Potter-themed art and y'all definitely provided. Here are our favourite entries!

T FIRS E! C PLA $100 WINS HARRIS DON ER R O G CH VOU

BY SELINA NG

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BY SHANNON-MAE READ 29

THE ABC's OF HALLOWEEN COSTUMES

by Laurien Barks Tis the season for Halloween parties! But how on earth will you ever find the time to put together a cleverly thought-out and easily-put-together clothing concoction when there’s so much exam prep in your midst? That’s where I come in. This week, I’ve thought up, dug up, and rounded up 26 unique costumes that are easy to throw together at the drop of a witch’s hat!

Aristocat: Inspired by one of the most beloved cartoons of my childhood, jazz up your run-of-the-mill cat costume with a cane, top hat, and cloak, to become the cutest piece of wordplay people ever did see.

Banshee: Kind of a twisty and glamourous way to pull off the tired old ghost attire. You can still do the whole white sheet thing, just cut a hole in the centre and let your head stick out the top this time. Long white-blond wig, and eerie white contacts with dark eye makeup…scream away my friend, scream away.

Car-tune: Make one of those box-cars from your childhood and decorate it with the lyrics of your favourite song, or wire up an iPod to blast tunes while you sit back and bring the party.

Dingo: All you really need to do with this one, is take any old dog costume but twist it by walking around with a baby doll in your mouth and hope that everyone at the party is a Seinfeld fan.

Evening in: Wrap yourself in a blanket, mess up your hair, wipe off the makeup, slap in a retainer, and carry your favourite snack around with you…the only way to have an evening in while you’re out.

French Kiss: I came across this online a while ago and thought it was wondrous! Wear typical mime attire, grab yourself a French baguette, and paint your face white as a mime, but with some signature black Kiss stars/ designs around your eyes.

Gummy bear: Dress up in suitable bear attire and complete the look by either winding pre-chewed gum/blue tack throughout the costume, or slapping sticks of minty fresh wherever you see fit.

Hick cups: Take your average, overdone mullet-haired, plaid-wearing, ‘I heart Mum’ tattooed redneck costume, and adorn the torso in a variety of polystyrene/plastic cups to become a charming expression of cleverness.

Improvisation: Pack an easily-cartable bag of various clothing items and quirky props before you get to the party. Once you get there, just start pulling out items at random and try to piece something together. Change up your look at regular intervals throughout the course of the party.

Jelly Fish: Dress completely in white, then find yourself a white umbrella.

Decorate the umbrella with hanging white ribbons or streamers that fall right down to the floor when you hold the umbrella over your head.

The umbrella is the smooth bulby head of the jelly fish, and your body/ streamers are the tentacles. Go forth and blow minds.

take some pink balloons, stuff them with bubble wrap, or just blow them up a tiny bit so they look like ovaries.

Kaleidoscope: This is a ridiculously ‘easy way out’ costume. Dress in as many colours and patterns as you can, and instead of going the traditional route and claiming you’re a rainbow, go the sophisticated route and claim you’re a kaleidoscope.

Life: Grab yourself a basket of lemons and just start handing them out to people.

Moocher: Similar to ‘Improvisation,’ you show up to the party without a costume, but through the art of persuasion, you’ll hopefully leave with one.

See how many costume ‘parts’ you can collect over the course of the party.

Newspaper: An artistic friend went absolutely nuts with this idea a few years ago. Take an old skirt, and staple multiple layers and ruffles of newspaper to it until you have a full on princess-style skirt.

One night stand: I can’t take any credit for this, because I saw it online a couple years back, but it was too clever to leave out. Take a box, draw some drawers on the front of it, cut a hole in the top for your head, glue various ‘nightstand’ items to the top surface (ie. books, glasses, alarm clock) and walk out the door with pride. Talk about a sexy costume.

Popcorn: I’ve seen people go all out with this one, but since we’re going for quick and easy, I’d say your best bet would be to get a pair of white pants or a white skirt, and paint red vertical stripes to mimic an oldtimey popcorn bag. Then wear a white shirt, and pin pom-poms made of white grocery bags/tissue paper to it.

Quill: For those who hate making an effort, but like to be original, slap a tall eccentric feather in your hair and wear pointed-toe boots. If you have a partner, get them to dress up as Harry Potter and carry you around.

get your head through your assigned hole, and walk about posing with your arms stuck straight out the sides.

Uterus: Dress in pink, and find yourself one of those pink valentine headbands that comes with little heart antenna at the end and cut the hearts off. Take some pink balloons, stuff them with bubble wrap, or just blow them up a tiny bit so they look like ovaries, and stick them in the place the hearts used to be.

Vanity: If you’re one of those people who hates costumes but also isn’t too crazy about the judgmental glares sent your way when you show up in street clothes, this is the ‘costume’ for you. Make yourself look ridiculously bangin’, stress over every detail of your appearance until you look as close to perfect as humanly possible, and carry a pocket mirror with you for regular lippy/hair touch ups over the course of the party. Also selfies… take all of them.

Winter: Here’s one for the artists out there. It’s a costume idea completely open to interpretation. I’m thinking blue and white face paint, glitter, white feathers, taffeta and silk, whimsical scarfs, and purple lipstick.

Rosemary’s Babies: You can either purchase and incorporate a pack

X-ray: take the cliché skeleton to a new level and go as an X-ray.

of rosemary seeds from the herb section of your local greenhouse into your outfit, or you can take two big pieces of paper and construct a large sachet-like costume, and become the bag of seeds yourself. Either way, your friends will be impressed with your wittiness.

Youtube Channel: This kind of costume has grown more popular over

Seasoning: This can be a fun partner costume, y’all can be salt and pepper, OR it can be a fantastic group costume and you can go as a whole spice rack. Get a huge square table cloth (in an appropriate colour for your spice), cut a hole in the centre for your head, and two for your arms, and put the first letter of your designated spice on the front in paint /vivid. Purchase an aluminium pie plate, stab a bunch of holes in the top, and then tie that thing to the top of your head to put a lid on the cutest costume around.

Totem Pole: Another group activity that takes a bit more coordination and is not for the faint of heart. For this you’re going to need a large fridge box and at least two friends. Cut the back out of the box so you can all fit, cut one hole in the top and two down the front for your heads, cut three holes on each side for your arms, and paint your faces with crazy tribal designs. Arrange yourselves in a stack, so each of you can

Strap a chalkboard over your torso, draw an outline of said torso, and encourage people at the party to draw various items in your gut.

the years, but it makes the list because it’s quick, easy, and easily turned into an original costume. Either print or draw up a large screenshot of a Youtube video, then cut out the square where the video is normally played. Hold the hole in front of you and give the video an appropriately witty title to describe the glorious beast that is on display.

Zulu Warrior: This is the ‘Greek God’ costume of quirky costume lists, meaning its only purpose is to show off your awesome bod that you’ve been cutting for months. Swap the toga for a bit of fur to cover you important bits, and carry a long staff in your hands (no, not that one… put that away til later). You can even make a bit of a feather head-dress if the creative spirit moves you.

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REVIEWS

Send us an email at mcattin@aut.ac.nz to contribute to our reviews section!

Gone Girl Directed by David Fincher Starring Ben Affleck, Rosamund Pike, Neil Patrick Harris

The film kicks off on Nick Dunne’s (Affleck) fifth wedding anniversary. After a sombre visit to the bar he co-owns with his sister Margot (Carrie Coon), in which he rags on his wife Amy (Pike), he heads home to find the door open and signs of a struggle within. He immediately involves police, and in doing so, becomes the prime suspect. I’d love to tell you more about the plot, but I’ll cut it there so as not to give anything away. It’s a twisty turny story that will keep you guessing until the credits, and I wouldn’t dream of spoiling the ride.

One of the things I most appreciated about Gone Girl was its pacing. Its nonlinear narrative drip feeds the story to you, clue by clue, and the big reveals aren’t stored up until the end; rather they are drawn out and spliced throughout the film. For this reason it almost feels like the film could have ended several times before it eventually does and furthermore I enjoyed some of the earlier twists far more than the ending, which while creepy, lacked a necessary wow factor.

So great was the first two hours however, that the anticlimactic ending is a minor issue, rather than a major, for me.

The lead performances were in my opinion a little bland. Having said that, I believe it was a directorial decision to make the leads a bit wooden and unnatural, and therefore it is at Mr Fincher I shall direct my criticism. Carrie Coon was great alongside Affleck, despite it being her first feature film, and Kim Dickens was thoroughly enjoyable as the detective leading the investigation. It was also a pleasure to see Neil Patrick Harris owning it in a dramatic role.

Reviewed by Matthew Cattin A dark whodunit from one of my favourite directors, Gone Girl is a mesmerising and twisting tale from start to finish. Unfortunately, despite my expectations, it never quite reaches its own potential, due to a lacklustre final chapter.

Anybody who has seen the brilliant Fight Club or Se7en will tell you David Fincher is a stylistic genius with a keen taste for black humour. Fortunately for us fans, Gone Girl was stroked with the same brush – it’s grimy, beautifully shot, and with a perfect balance of subtle humour throughout.

If you enjoy your psychological thrillers, you’ll likely enjoy the many twists and turns of Gone Girl. It’s a solid addition to Fincher’s catalogue but it pales in comparison to his best work. Had it ended differently, it could have been brilliant, but when adapting a book, I s’pose it’s hard to diverge too much from the source material. However, plot aside, there were a few minor details that bugged me as I walked out of the cinema, overshadowing what could have been one of the year’s best.

X

Chris Brown Album

Even though every song on X is worthy of a mention, here are just a few of the standouts I discovered.

Loyal - Arguably THE song of 2014, “Loyal” has had everybody proclaiming “these hoes ain’t loyal” 25/8... Yeah, even the females. But it’s no surprise; the infectious beat and truth behind the song along with the help of Lil Wayne and Tyga makes this single iconic and one of those songs you’ll be telling your grand kids about one day… Maybe… When they’re old enough.

Autumn Leaves - Slowing it down just a little, Breezy dedicates this ballad to the thoughts of losing the most important person you know and accepting that your life will not be the same when they leave. Showcasing his soulful voice accompanied with a special rap verse from Kendrick Lamar, Autumn Leaves is one of the best songs found on X and displays Chris’ growth as an artist compared to his 16 year old “Run It” days.

Reviewed by Shivani Rajan Since his last album Fortune was released in 2012, the anticipation and expectations were higher than ever for Chris Brown’s latest album X… But when September 19th came around, Breezy did not disappoint. With 21 new songs all ranging from his familiar, catchy dance tunes like “Fine China” and “Love More” to the more heartfelt and emotional songs like “Do Better” and “Don’t Think They Know”, it is no wonder this album took two years in the making.

Drunk Texting - Ahhh, something we can ALL relate to… On a more lighter night, this track covers the all-too-familiar thoughts (am I gonna hit send or nah?) we have when the alcohol completely takes over during our wasted weekends. With the help of Jhene Aiko’s beautiful vocals, Drunk Texting helps balance out some of the more serious songs found on X… And it also makes me feel better because hey, now I know even celebrities make the same mistakes as me!

And with other guest appearances on the album from Akon, R. Kelly, Aaliyah, Usher, Trey Songz, Nicki Minaj, Brandy and Ariana Grande, X is an album you’ll have to get and check out for yourself!

National Theatre Live: Medea Directed by Carrie Cracknell Starring Helen McCory, Michaela Coel, Danny Sapani

King, for her threats against his daughter. Desperate and enraged, Medea plans to use her last day in Corinth to get revenge against those who have spited her.

I shall leave out the rest for those who don’t know what happens (though is a spoiler really a spoiler if the material is over two thousand years old?

Debate amongst yourselves), but the play builds dramatically and tensely up to the shocking conclusion and Medea’s final brutal act of revenge. It is a powerful story of loss and what possesses people to take revenge, and there is a reason why people are still performing this play two millenniums after it was first written. McCory is amazing as Medea, easily conveying the various and opposing attributes of this insane character, and she keeps you captivated throughout the play.

Reviewed by Ethan Sills A quick explanation to kick this off: the Royal National Theatre is one of England’s biggest theatre companies, having run for over 50 years, and is renowned for its acclaimed productions. Since 2009, the company has been broadcasting their plays live across the world in cinemas, with New Zealand screens getting them a few weeks behind the rest of the world.

The latest recording to hit our shores is Medea, a modern-infused retelling of the 2000 year old Greek tragedy by Euripides. Helen McCory leads this timeless classic as the damaged Medea, a woman who gave up everything for her true love, Jason, only for him to abandon her for a younger woman. On the day of Jason’s wedding, Medea is ordered to leave the city by the brides father, the

Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father Directed by Kurt Kuenne

The new elements in this particular production were hit and miss, with some intriguing additions that worked well and others simply odd and distracting.

The set was the oddest issue for me, with the main action taking place in Medea’s house, done up like a stereotypical seventies living room that just happens to back directly onto a forest. Being a non-play expert, I may be missing some of the deeper metaphorical elements in the choice of décor (I didn’t do very well in year 11 drama), but it just seemed like an odd directorial choice, and I was distracted whenever things like the iPhones and a TV were featured amongst talk based around Ancient Greece.

Some technical problems were also a distracting nuisance, something the National Theatre is hopefully aware of to fix for future recordings.

This rendition of Medea is about 90 minutes long, and it is worth a watch simply for the fantastic lead performance. If you are not a big theatre person, there is a high chance that this wouldn’t be your cup of tea. However, if you are familiar with the material, than you know Medea is a play worth seeing, and for the unfamiliar, this fascinating character study still works after so many years and is worth a watch despite the imperfections.

test proved the boy to be Andrew’s. Despicably, during this period, Shirley was not held in custody, so Andrew’s parents moved up to Newfoundland to try and get custody of the only grandson they would ever have, away from his mother, the woman who murdered his father.

And this is where Kurt Kuenne comes in. Heartbroken by the loss of his best friend Andrew, Kurt decided to make a film, a letter, to give to Zachary. He took to the road with a camera and plenty of tape, and began the emotional task of interviewing everybody who ever loved Andrew. The film was to be a gift for Zachary, a window into the life of the father he would never know. Have you ever heard of a documentary premise with this much heart?

I must warn you now; this film will break your heart. It will fill you with an anger you can’t find words to describe and a sadness you won’t shake for days.

The failings of the legal system allowed Shirley to stay out of prison and raise Zachary, despite being guilty of murdering his father. In order to spend time with Zachary, Andrew’s parents had to maintain a civil relationship with Shirley, spending time with her on the daily. Can you even imagine that?

Spending time with the woman who left your son in a parking lot, face down with five bullets in his body? Being civil with the heartless animal who robbed you of your only child?

Reviewed by Matthew Cattin In November 2001, Kurt Kuenne’s best friend Andrew Bagby was murdered by his ex-girlfriend, shot five times in a parking lot in Pennsylvania. Prior to this, the pair had quite a turbulent relationship (as Shirley was a possessive she-devil) and Shirley immediately became the prime suspect.

Upon discovering herself a suspect, Shirley fled to Newfoundland in Canada, where she announced to the press that she was pregnant with Andrew’s child.

Awaiting extradition to the US, she gave birth to a son, Zachary, and a DNA

And that’s not even the worst of it.

Dear Zachary isn’t a sleek, technically impressive documentary – in fact it’s extremely amateur. But the story is so intriguing, so real, and so damn emotional, its unprofessional feel only adds to the overall message. This is a film that was created in the moment, not a product of hindsight. The emotions and reactions are real time, and I promise you it is unlike anything you have ever seen. I won’t spoil the ending for you, as that would ruin the experience, but I must warn that it’s not for the faint hearted. This is a documentary you will never forget.

33

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