debate issue 23

issue 23 2012

FEATURE: EXPLORING KIWIANA + REFLECTIONs ON NATIONAL AND CULTURAL IDENTITY ARTIST of the week | SPORTS | FASHION | REVIEWS |

CONTENTS

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CONTENTS

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Editorial

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CAFFEINATED BANTER

Artist of the week Julie Cooper

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Feature 12 A few snippets of Kiwi identity

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SPORTS New Zillund Sporting Pride

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Feature A Nation of Clever Bastards

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SOCIAL MEDIA HIGHLIGHTS

ARTICLE A to Z of Kiwi Slangs Hicky's slippy & other Faux Pas The Vlogoshpere of Kiwi online identity

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24 25

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on the cover:

editor Nigel Moffiet nigel.moffiet@aut.ac.nz

Feature Who am I? Searching for your roots

sub editor Matthew Cattin designer Ceapum Kaushish ceapum.kaushish@aut.ac.nz

AuSM AuSM update

contributors Scott Moyes | Matthew Cattin | Renee Simpson | Kieran Bennett | Jennifer Choat | Alanna Caveney | Robert Vennell | Daisy Sillis | Melissa Low | India Hendrikse | Elesha Edmonds | Morgahna Godwin | Ben Hill | Stuart Timmins | Maia Harrison | Hayley Watford |

Fashion New Zealand Fashion week

32 Reviews 34

Kiwiana Adam Tan

Vox Pops

advertising contact Kate Lin kate.lin@aut.ac.nz printer PMP Print Ltd. publisher all rights reserved debate is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA)

This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT AT AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY INCORPORATED (“AuSM”). Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly.

Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AuSM.

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disclaimer Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, PMP Print or its subsidiaries.

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EDITORIAL

reception

are a cute bunch sometimes. We’re kind of insecure about our identity - always curious to know what others think of us.

We like to emphasise how tolerant and open we are, we’re laid back, happy go lucky and friendly to tourists.

So what are we? Are we simply a nation of sports nuts, tree huggers and sheep shaggers?

Perhaps this isn’t always true, but it’s how we like to imagine ourselves.

Or are we (Hamilton and Palmerston North aside) more complex than that?

And what about clean and green? Many say this is more of a marketing gimmick these days and we are fooling ourselves on just how green we are.

Sure we are. We have also stamped our identity on moral issues, and we can be proud of many stances we have taken as a country – standing up against apartheid by boycotting the sport we love most is one such example. I recently watched a documentary on the apartheid era and when this event was mentioned, I felt truly proud. I’m proud of all those who represented our country’s values during that time, and let the rest of the world know what we stood for. Not only did it send a message, it had a real impact on the dreadful system.

Last year John Key had to face some difficult questions when he appeared on the BBC current affairs show Hardtalk. Journalist Stephen Sackur put it quite bluntly to Key that New Zealand wasn’t so clean and green at all based on a lot of scientific research. All our Prime Minster could do was refute the accusation and defend of our nation’s valued identity.

Editorial image : Steve & Jemma Copley via Flickr.com

We also have sport. Sport, whether you like it or not, is part of our Kiwi culture. We’re a sporting nation. In the classic New Zealand play Foreskin’s Lament, writer and All Black trialist Greg McGee shone the spotlight on our identity as a nation by repeating the question: “Whaddarya?” – using the game of rugby as a metaphor, of course.

The interview was based on the environmental research of Mike Joy, a scientist at Massey University who had recently said “we are delusional about how green and clean we are”. A number of things have damaged our environment, according to research, including some not so friendly farming practices.

This is a shattering statement, one that pierces the hearts of proud Kiwis everywhere. We build much of our identity and national pride on this very image. Maybe it’s a warning not to get too caught up in the ‘myths’ of our own identity before we lose track of reality. We don’t want to be delusional.

Another moral stance which shaped our identity was going anti-nuclear. This was summed up by the brilliant oratory power of our Prime Minister at the time, David Lange. In his now famous 1985 Oxford Union speech, he made the world listen, and powerful countries were forced to take note of what New Zealand had to say – no nuclear capabilities in our Pacific waters please! “Nuclear weapons are morally indefensible”, argued Lange.

It was one of those rare political moments– most of New Zealand agreed.

So in this issue of debate we ask the question: “Whaddarya?”

- NIGEL.

City Campus Level 2, WC Building 921 9805 Mon-Thurs: 8am-5pm Fri8am-4pm North Shore Campus Level 2, AS Building 921 9949 Mon-Fri: 11am-1pm Manukau Campus MB107 921 9999 ext 6672 Mon-Thurs; 9am-3.30pm

governance & leadership Kizito Essuman AuSM Student President 921 9999 ext 8571 kizito.essuman@aut.ac.nz

management

Sue Higgins General Manager 921 9999 ext 5111 sue.higgins@aut.ac.nz

advocacy

Nick Buckby Liaison Manager 921 9999 ext 8379 nick.buckby@aut.ac.nz

marketing

Kate Lin Sales and Marketing Co-ordinator 921 9999 ext 8909 kate.lin@aut.ac.nz

events

Carl Ewen Student Life Manager 921 9999 ext 8931 carl.ewen@aut.ac.nz

LETTERS

media Dear debate, I really enjoyed reading your issue on the "good old days" of technology and everyone's memories of technology back in the day. I was also pretty amused to see how many people commented on the noise that dial up made when connecting to the internet and how that was a memory from their childhood.

Unfortunately for me, that noise was still very much part of my life until about six months ago!

I live out in a rural area, although not out in the wops. Unfortunately we are somehow out of reception for pretty much every internet provider. So yes, I was forced to live with dial up! Downloading readings and lecture slides was impossible, I had to ask friends to download my timetable for me, yes- we couldn't use the phone whenever anyone was on the internet. Anyone I told could not believe that dial up still existed in this day and age. Fortunately, miracles do exist and we now have wireless internet. So I am free to browse Facebook without anyone yelling about needing to use the phone.

Erica.

Nigel Moffiet Publications Co-ordinator 921 9999 ext 8774 nigel.moffiet@aut.ac.nz

sports

Melita Martorana Sports Team Leader melita.martorana@aut.ac.nz

vesbar

Zane Chase Vesbar Manager 921 9999 ext 8378 zane.chase@aut.ac.nz

volunteers & clubs

Letter of the week wins two VELVET BURGER TICKETS debate letters policy: Letters need to make it into debate’s mailbox before Wednesday, 3pm each week for the following issue. You must give us your name when submitting letters to be eligible for letter of the week, but you can use a pseudonym for publication if you wish. Any letters longer than 250 words may be subjected to editing. The editor reserves the right to decline without explanation. Most importantly, the views contained on the letters page do not necessarily represent the views of AuSM. Send your letters to debate@aut.ac.nz or if you want to kick it old school, PO Box 6116, Wellesley St, Auckland.

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Deanna Berry Volunteers Coordinator 921 9999 ext 8911 deanna.berry@aut.ac.nz

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ISSUE 23 2012

Caffeinated Banter

1st Café targeted:

By Elesha Edmonds

’ve always wanted to be on Target. Obviously I wouldn’t want to feature as a carpet cleaner, caught ‘hanging out’ in someone’s bedroom, or a shopkeeper busted for selling alcohol to under aged kids. Instead, I would like to be an actor with a hidden camera in my bag, ready to catch someone out.

Lately I have noticed an epidemic of bad coffee polluting Auckland’s CBD. There seems to be an abundance of barristers selling weak and overpriced coffee. These offenders deserve to be caught out. Carpet cleaner man wasn’t doing his job when Target caught him, so why should barristers be treated any differently?

For that reason I conducted my own Target-style investigation. My aim was to catch coffee-making offenders, who were denying people the joy of a good coffee.

Equipped with an iPhone secretly concealed in my bag, I went undercover as a university student. I made sure I adequately disguised myself with drooping eyelids, an oversized backpack, Studylink on speed dial and the scent of two-minute noodles. I blended in so well that the staff had no idea that I was planning to rate their coffee and then publish my mind-blowing, world changing, life-threatening findings a week later.

I choose to target cafés handy to AUT’s city campus. My order simply consisted of a small takeaway flat white. No accessories, no sugar and no suspicious barristers.

I rated the coffee based on the following criteria: E The quality The first and most important element that I was investigating was the quality of the coffee shot. I get so frustrated with weak coffee, which is polluted by excess milk or foam. A flat white should have only a very thin layer of froth on the top.

E The takeaway cup The takeaway cup is an element that makes or breaks any coffee experience. I have had my fair share of temperamental takeaway cups. Nasty spills are inconveniences that should be avoided.

E Price The coffee must be worth every penny. Two $4 coffees a week would add up to a total of $416 spent on coffee a year. That’s a lot of money and shouldn’t be wasted on weak and tasteless coffee.

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The Beverage Bank.

Location: Located at the food court in Hikawai Plaza (Between the GYM and Vesbar).

Price: Again, the most glorious price: $3 for a small flat white (and their long blacks are the cheapest in town, at $2.50!).

Wait: 3 minutes.

Shot: I’m going to be honest here, I was a little surprised at the quality of my flat white. I watched the lady carefully make it whilst trying to not be overcome by the smell of curry from the next-door stall. However I definitely underestimated this hidden treasure. The coffee shot was strong, rich and flavoursome − just the way a flat white should be. Out of all the cafes it probably had one of the best milk to coffee ratios. I definitely I felt that I got fair share of coffee out of my small $3.

Heat: Warmed the insides.

Cup: My fellow coffee-drinking companion mentioned that the café seemed to have changed takeaway cups. He said the previous cups were flimsy and thin, in comparison to the new ones which were thicker.

Obviously the café owner has heard my internal ranting. Gold star.

The lid: Very shiny and easy to sip from.

Rating: 4.6 out of 5. A hidden gem lost amongst curry and sushi.

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Caffeinated Banter

2nd Café targeted:

3rd Café targeted:

4th Café targeted:

Café Crema.

Craven an ‘A’.

Location: Symonds Street.

Price: The most glorious price: $3 for a small flat white.

Wait: 2 minutes tops.

Shot: My coffee was a bit too creamy for my liking (the name probably should have warned me of this).

Without being a hater, I was a little disappointed at how light and frothy the coffee looked. However for the price, I wouldn’t mind upgrading to a doubt shot.

Heat: Probably could have been slightly warmer, but I’m not going to complain.

Cup: The cup was smaller than the other cafes. I really don’t know how they managed to fit so much milk, let alone the coffee, into it.

The lid: My favourite out of all the cafes. Easy to drink from and free from the risk of spilling.

Location: Saint Pauls Street (Beside Subway).

Price: $3.70 Wait: 4 minutes. Although I did order with someone else, so this may have slowed down the wait time.

Shot: The coffee was fine, but I was ‘craven’ a little less froth. The coffee could nearly have passed as a cappuccino with half the drink being foam. The reason for this is probably because the foam wasn’t removed after steaming the milk.

Heat: Drinkable. However the excess foam probably worked as an insulator, which preserved the heat of the coffee for a little longer than a normal flat white.

Cup: Very temperamental. The waitress handed it to me with it the coffee nearly exploding from underneath the lid.

The lid: Good for drinking, but definitely not for transporting.

The Counter… a.k.a The Business Café.

Rating: 3.8 out of 5. The price was the only attractive aspect of the experience.

Rating: 2.9 out of 5. ‘Craven’ a bit more of everything.

Location: Our very own AUT café.

WF building, level 1.

Price: $3.50 Wait: Just under 3 minutes.

Although I must say the café seemed a bit dead.

Shot: I was really happy with the coffee. It was dark, which was a good initial sign that it would be strong. One sip and I was buzzing with enjoyment.

Heat: Perfect (none of that lukewarm nonsense).

Cup: I like the idea of takeaway cups being biodegradable, however I would much rather a cup that didn’t come with the risk of it spilling. The cup may have been friends with the environment, but it definitely didn’t become friends with my white blouse.

The lid: I found the lid really annoying. It was like one of those silly baby mug lids were you can only drink a little at a time.

Rating: 4.2 out of 5. The cup was a let-down.

Next time you buy a takeaway coffee make sure you upgrade to double shot, forget the trim milk, mix in two sugars and rate it.

...the yummiest Cookies in town • • • •

American style Cookies Baked fresh on our premises Over 16 flavours to choose from Soft chewy centres

Mrs Higgins Cookie Shop

268 Queen St (opposite Smith and Caughey’s) Yum...Cookies just like Grandma used to bake!

Also visit Mrs Higgins Cookie Shop, Food Court, Hunters Plaza, Papatoetoe

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ISSUE 23 2012

ARTIST OF THE WEEK

Julie Cooper Julie Cooper likes to take photos!

She's explored many areas of photography including events, tours, weddings, travel, products and portraits; but most of all enjoys photographing interesting people and fashion, using her DSLR camera or Lomography Diana F+.

Julie Cooper is currently studying Bachelor of Communication Studies.

www.juliecooper.co.nz Facebook

facebook.com/ juliecooperphotography Tumblr

juliecooperphotography. tumblr.com

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ARTIST OF THE WEEK

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NEWS

ISSUE 23 2012

Red Bull Doodle Art Returns To Campuses Nationwide In Search Of The Ultimate Doodler!

On Monday September 17, Red Bull Doodle Art, an innovative on-campus doodling competition will return to selected University campuses around New Zealand, saving students from eternal boredom of long lectures.

When the class starts to drag on, students can simply flip their doodle cards over and start creating their best work of art using pens, pencils, or whatever they can get their hands on.

Students can be as creative as they like with their doodles and submit numerous entries, although only one entry will be chosen to go through into the top 40.

Unlike previous years where there was one main competition between a few universities, each of the six universities will now have its own competition and

winners. This year, the drawing skills of students at Auckland University, Unitec, AUT University, Massey Wellington, Victoria University and Canterbury University will be tested.

The grand prize is a personal Red Bull Cooler branded with the winning art work and a year’s supply of Red Bull Energy Drink. The second place winner and student voted winning doodle will win a case of Red Bull Energy Drink, and all winners will receive a canvas recreation of their artwork.

The top 40 doodlers will be notified by email and their doodles will be displayed at a pop up gallery on campus where all students can check out the best doodles

What do you think about AUT?

and vote for their favourites. The top 40 doodlers of each university will be invited to a private exhibition evening where the winners for 2012 will be announced.

The AUT exhibition will be held on the 3rd October at the WE Art gallery on St Paul’s Street from 10am till 3pm. Come down and enjoy some causal music and vote for your favourite Doodle.

For more information please visit www.redbull.co.nz

have your say!

Recently you may have been invited to complete one or both of the following online surveys:

Annual Programme Survey Manukau Campus Survey

Help shape the future of AUT

And go into the draw to win great prizes like iPads, iPods and Westfield vouchers

surveys@AUT For more information see our website at: www.aut.ac.nz/being-a-student/student-surveys 10

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AT&T

Vesbar stocks a wide range of drinks including cocktails, shakers, RTDs and an impressive beer selection. Soft drinks are free for drivers.

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M

Y

CM

MY

CY

CMY

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SPECIALS Monday 1.4L Tui Super Jug $12.90 from midday

Tuesday Vesbar Pub Quiz - 6PM

Wednesday Fish & Chips + Handle $9.50

Thursday Export extra cold super jugs $16.90 from 11 – 5

Friday Happy Hour 4pm-6pm

www.vesbar.co.nz

AUT, North Shore Campus Getting behind Pink Ribbon Day

Cake Bake-off /Sale

11 October 2012

‘This year AuSM is excited to partner with the Samaritan's Purse to create a drop-off location for Operation Christmas Child. Come into any AuSM office to pick up a shoe box and fill it with toys, gifts, necessities for children in the South Pacific for Christmas! You choose the gender and age of the child you are buying for, then bring your shoe box back to your closest AuSM Office by Oct 18th. Get involved and give the simple gift of joy!

Lime Café AS level 1 10:30am – 2pm

unless sold out earlier All proceeds from the sale of cakes will go directly to the New Zealand Breast Cancer Foundation New Zealand Breast cancer Foundation Mission Statement: To Prevent New Zealanders from developing and dying from Breast Cancer and to provide support for those with the disease

Any questions, contact Deanna; dberry@ aut.ac.nz’

Please support this worthy cause Any questions, please contact Tim on 09-921-9949 or tim.mcallister@aut.ac.nz

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ISSUE 23 2012

FEATURE Image by Official U.S. Navy Imagery via Flickr.com

A few snippets of

Kiwi identity

By Nigel Moffiet

N

ew Zealand is a young nation and our sense of national identity is younger still – just what shapes us as a country is not a debate we can have with concrete theories but rather by opening up the discussion and reflecting on our past – how does our socio-political journey reflect who we are today?

A recent visit by US Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta saw the lifting of the ban of New Zealand navy ships in US waters. This diplomatic grievance lasted for 26 years, and it was indeed a defining moment in forging a strong sense of identity that was a nuclear free Aotearoa. By giving Uncle Sam a morally driven middle finger salute, we proved that we were not afraid to stand on our own two feet and confront the political and economic pressures put upon us by more mighty nations. This gesture helped forge a wee snippet of what we stood for.

But where have we come as a nation? If we begin in the early colonial days, we can see the road we’ve travelled.

IDENTITY CRISIS New Zealand was a bi-cultural society and we have our founding document, the Treaty Of Waitangi in all its political glory, for better and worse, outlining the relationship between the British crown and iwi – a document that reflects our journey and maps out the road that lays

ahead – it’s a document that shapes us as a nation and forges our identity.

However, New Zealand is quickly becoming more ethnically diverse and it is probably not enough to speak of the bi-cultural society that existed between Maori and Europeans; we could argue New Zealand’s identity is now being influenced by other cultures as well, more so than it has been in the past. We are becoming a nation that embraces diversity and we are priding ourselves, more than ever, on the harmonious multi-cultural society that is developing.

Looking at our past from a European or Pakeha perspective, we’ve travelled some interesting terrain; at times we’ve had to rebel against British traditions and loosen the shackles which, looking back, were a burden on us at times – indeed, they were also a burden on Maori. As many local historians and sociologists have pointed out, New Zealand Europeans have had to forge a brand new sense of identity often through the creation of “myths”.

Perhaps this isn’t the most flattering way to reflect, but as Claudia Bell argues in her book Inventing New Zealand, early European settlers brought the British identity through allegiance to the crown, language, customs, social rituals, food traditions and so on. The new colony that was being created in New Zealand drew heavily from the ideas of culture that the British settlers had brought with them.

Carrying on from this, in a chapter titled ‘To build a nation’, journalist Bruce

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Jesson challenged us with his argument that early New Zealand identity wasn’t just built on myths but was a “false consciousness” as a result of our transplanted British culture; a culture that had no authenticity or relevance on the new shores of Aotearoa.

Jesson went on to argue that this false consciousness of English culture “persisted to the point of slowing New Zealand’s claims for distinctive identity unique to New Zealand’s way of life”.

TO BUILD A NATION Indeed, our early days of nation building and cultivating of our “myths” through our British ancestry had many negative effects. As Bell points out, this early nation building didn’t always fit for Maori or non-British New Zealand migrants. Early nation building, was based on a white British ethnic core built by elites and the civic side of New Zealand’s nation building (government, judicial, militarist, and educative institutions) has often been rejected because of the British template on which it was based. Many New Zealand Europeans too, wanted to break away from the shackles of a British past that was less relevant for those growing up in New Zealand. Yet, it’s telling how much we’ve had to move on – in a 1921 census, 99 per cent of settlers claimed British nationality even though many had been born in New Zealand.

However we have moved on. In post

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WWII New Zealand, a number of events took place which started forging the way for a unique Kiwi identity – one uniquely distinct from our British past.

The 1948 Dominion Act drew, for the first time, a formal line between New Zealanders and British immigrants. The Act was strengthened in 1977 with the Citizenship Act that imposed greater restrictions on entry into the country to non-New Zealanders, including those of British decent. Finally, the 1987 Immigration Act cut all transplanted ties with Britain and for the very first time British immigrants became nonNew Zealanders under legal terms.

These developments were shaped by the result of a number of events.

One that has often been cited is when Britain joined the European Economic Community in 1973 – an event that forced us to look beyond Britain for support and inevitably forced us to reassess our identity as a country in the Pacific. The 1951 ANZUS alliance with Australia and the United States was another political event that historians say helped New Zealand look beyond Britain.

Image by Sids1 via Flickr.com

FEATURE

STANDING STRONG But New Zealand has never bowed down. The 1981 Springbok tour is one example where we took a stand as a nation, challenging the South African apartheid system. Another example, as I have mentioned, is our anti-nuclear stance that saw us ban US nuclear equipped vessels in our waters. Historian Jock Phillips saw New Zealand’s strong anti-nuclear position as a “postcolonial yearning for a new nationalism”. It was a position that gained wide public support and reflected where we wanted to head as a nation. Claudia Bell says it reflected the way we viewed ourselves – that of a “safe, secure home, nestled in an unspoiled natural paradise”.

Our unflinching stance has finally gained the respect it deserves. US Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta said although the US acknowledges our differences they will not let these differences “stand in the way of greater engagement on security issues". Perhaps this means times are getting tougher for the US. I also hope it doesn’t mean New Zealand gets caught up in unnecessary engagements. It does however validate

our nation’s stance as nuclear free.

Of course there’s the sport, there’s the outdoors, and all that. But we’re also a nation of people not afraid to take a moral stand. We don’t claim to be perfect and like every country, we have our issues to work through, but maybe our differences work to bind us together and forge an identity – one where we’re all happy to walk around in our jandals, bask in the sun, and say “chur bro, I’m a proud Kiwi”.

"By giving Uncle Sam a morally driven middle finger salute, we proved that we were not afraid to stand on our own two feet and confront the political and economic pressures put upon us by more mighty nations."

New Zealand and Australia, not the same damn place.

By Kieran Bennett I went to the United States a few years ago to visit family and generally relax and have a holiday. About two weeks in we stayed the night in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (not being steel workers or homeless there was little to do other than pass through) at the Days Inn. Seeing as it was late, we were tired and we were human, food was essential. Luckily we spied across the car park the “Outback Café”, a self-proclaimed “slice of the outback”. So we hit that place up, thoughts of nothing but food on our mind. I won’t mention the food, I care too much for your stomach to do that; but the service was interesting. When we were asked where we were from, of course we replied “New Zealand”. The waitress then proceeded to raise her left leg and shove her foot firmly into her mouth and say “Oh, so this place is just like home for you guys isn’t it?”

Let me be clear, New Zealand and Australia are not the same country. We are separated by a whole sea. It’s called the Tasman, if you go the west coast and look out that way, you should see it. Across that sea is a really huge country. That’s Australia. Australia

is the place with 43,000 different things that can kill you, ranging from spiders that eat your fingernails to spiders that eat whatever’s left over after the first spider is finished. New Zealand on the other hand is the place with 300 odd species of flightless birds, the worst of which will only savagely

"New Zealand prides itself on its identity and individuality and when people confuse us with a country that is (to us) in no way similar it pisses us off to no end." attack your wing mirrors. The best of them sit around composing poetry and debating the finer points of the treaty of Waitangi (incidentally this is where the government gets most of its treaty policy from. Though of course they’re listening to birds and as such it’s all just a load of screaming and yelling; which they reflect perfectly).

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I can perhaps understand why people get confused, our countries are pretty close together and there isn’t much else out here in our little corner of the world other than ocean and some fish. But still, it’s a source of national consternation and frustration. New Zealand prides itself on its identity and individuality and when people confuse us with a country that is (to us) in no way similar it pisses us off to no end. New Zealand and Australia don’t even look similar on a map. Australia is the big, yellow, cookie shaped one with a little crumb off the bottom. New Zealand is the green one to the right. The one that’s half the size and has a shape that is in no way similar. Australia is covered in brush, desert and koalas. New Zealand is conversely covered in bush and much more interesting things like novelty carrots.

Perhaps that wasn’t the best point, but it still stands; New Zealand does not equal Australia.

One country is clean, green and has the pavlova and the other is hot, dry and full of dessert stealing bastards.

ISSUE 23 2012

Correctly identify the five differences in the two photos then circle them and drop your entry into your nearest AuSM office, or the box on the side of the red debate stands, or post to debate PO Box 6116 Wellesley St before 12pm Thursday.

What’s up for grabs? Two “squawk burgers” vouchers for Velvet Burger on Fort St, Auckland CBD.

CONGRATULATIONS!!

to our issue 22 winner

Willow Ruby North Shore Campus

1. Urticaria is a skin disease otherwise known as what?

image by ejay8085 / flicker.com

2. Name all four Baldwin brothers?

3. Which is the only continent without a desert?

4. Which American state has more active volcanoes than all other states combined?

5. What year did the Titanic sink?

6. Which writer created the fictional secret service agent, James Bond?

7. Which prolific British children's author wrote the Noddy books?

8. Which planet is fifth from the sun?

9. Which is the largest of the big cats?

10. Who was “Addicted to Love” in the 1980s?

WORD JUMBLE NIENVNTIO

Name Phone # Email Campus

How many words of three letters or more can you make during your lecture from the letters above?

(6-8 average, 9-11 good, 12 or more - excellent) *Answers on page 26

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Chicken Curry (feeds 4 people)

Image by Mokeneco via Flickr

Dear Agony Aunt This is my first year at uni and my first experience living away from home. My mum always used to nag me to take notice when she was cooking so I would be able to cook for myself when the time came. Unfortunately I took no notice and I'm starving. I have no idea how to cook myself a decent meal and I'm fed up with takeaways, hot chips and noodles. I am flatting with three other guys who are just as useless as me.

Help we're hungry.

INGREDIENTS: ► 500g of chicken, (2 chicken breasts) slice chicken into thin strips, it will cook quickly this way and there will be less risk of you eating under cooked chicken. ► 1 cup chicken stock (use a chicken stock cube) ► 1 large onion ► 2 dessert spoons of mango chutney ► 1 dessert spoon of curry powder or more if you like it hot ► 1/12 cup of Greek yoghurt. ( use the light variety it’s just as nice) ► 2 teaspoons of cornflour.

PREPERATIOn:

Prep is very important . If you measure everything out before you start the cooking is easy

METHOD: Dear hungry Tut tut. Now you know why mums know best and why you should listen to what they tell you. Still, it’s not too late to learn and you may find it very relaxing and rewarding when you start to cook healthy delicious meals. You and your flat mates could start a cooking class on an evening but that is probably not going to happen is it. My suggestion is you go and buy yourself a simple recipe book. The Edmonds cook book is a good place to start and it’s relatively cheap. Try following some simple recipes and see what happens, you may surprise yourself. Concentrate on eating plenty of fruit and vegetables; the tinned and frozen variety are good and probably cheaper as they don’t go off. Buy lean meat and include fish at least once a week. You could try some vegetarian recipes, these are usually much cheaper. I have given you a recipe to start with. It’s really yummy, healthy and really easy to make.

Step 1 : Slice one large onion (go on to YouTube and see how this is done) your knife skills will get better with practice.

Step 2 : Put onion into pan with 2 tablespoons of water, cook on MEDIUM heat with the lid on until onions are soft. Stir occasionally or they will burn. This should take about 4-5 minutes.

Step 3 : When onions are soft stir in curry powder and cook for 1 minute. Keep stirring.

Step 4 : Add chicken stock (you should have prepared this in advance) then add chicken. Simmer on low heat for approx. 10 minutes or until chicken has cooked.

Step 5 : When chicken has cooked take the pan off the heat and leave to stand for 2 minutes Step 6 : In a different bowl mix cornflour with 3 teaspoons of water until you get a paste (add more water if you have to) then add yoghurt and mango chutney stir.

Step 7 :Add slowly to curry (one spoon at a time) that has been standing for 2 minutes cooling.

Step 8 : Stir and put back on to medium/low heat for another 3-4 minutes. Don’t walk away from the pan it doesn’t take long.

Enjoy!

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ISSUE 23 2012

SPORTS

When told that this week’s issue was going to be a Kiwiana theme I got a tad nervous. What does sport mean to New Zealand? Well, everything really. Sport is what gives us a sense of importance. It’s what makes our humble nation of four million feel significant amongst all the Americas and Chinas of the world.

by SCOTT MOYES

New Zillund sporting pride:

But of course, sport means something different to each person. Some get their thrills with the Silver Ferns defeating the Aussies by a single goal. Others will enjoy Brendon McCullum smashing 123 runs of 58 balls against Bangladesh. But chances are most of you will get your kicks watching the All Blacks blitz the rest of the world with every rugby match they play.

So I’ve compiled a small list of sporting moments which made you proud to call yourself a New Zillunder. I’ve decided to make them all within the last 25 years. This way there’s a chance you were actually alive and have a recollection of it. Twenty-five years ago is also when we won the first Rugby World Cup. How convenient.

of the last 25 years 1. All Blacks win the first Rugby World Cup:

2. Michael Campbell wins the US Open Image by Phillip Capper via Flickr

Kiwi Flickr's photos via Getty Images

Oh look there it is. In terms of great sporting achievements, I feel this World Cup victory surpasses the 2011 triumph. Winning the very first one in your own country has a special place in history. I think 2011 was more of a relief than anything. This isn’t to say the victory wasn’t deserved however. 1987 featured some greats of the game such as Sean Fitzpatrick and Michael Jones.

The list goes on.

3. NZ defend the America’s Cup:

Some of you may find this one a little weird but don’t underestimate this victory. Golf is one of those sports that have a much bigger following than you would think. In America alone the golf channel has over 60 million subscribers. Along with Lord of the Rings, Michael Campbell put New Zealand on the map. It’s just a shame he’s faded horribly in the years since.

4. All Whites at the Football World Cup: Image by René Clausen Nielsen via Flickr

Image by Lynda W1 via Flickr

Winning the America’s Cup for the first time is a great achievement. However I think most of you will be more familiar with the defence. Being held in New Zealand gives it extra importance, along with everything that happened with Sir Peter Blake. I have clear memories of the viaduct being swamped with spectators.

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It’s one of those things that any half-hearted New Zealand sports fan gets off to; undefeated at the World Cup. It’s a bit like the whole ‘most medals per capita’ at the London games. Considering how massive this tournament is and the support it generated from the fans, I think this one is pretty darn important.

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SPORTS

5. David Tua vs Lennox Lewis: Image by DieselDemon via Flickr

Image by mak1e via Flickr

6. Barbara Kendall wins gold in Barcelona:

David Tua was pretty disappointing in the 2000 fight. But in terms of memorability, this fight was a biggie. Tua challenged the heavy-weight champion and the whole of New Zealand watched. At the time it was the most watched programme in New Zealand history. It was also the biggest betting sporting event in the TAB’s history.

8. Breakers go back-to-back:

Image by digiarnie via Flickr

Image via www.aucklandcouncil.govt.nz

7. Kiwis win the Rugby League World Cup:

New Zealand has produced a number of Olympic gold medalists, but at the time, Barbara’s success was particularly significant. In 1992, it was New Zealand’s only gold medal, but more importantly, the first gold medal by one of our females in 40 years.

There are only really three teams that are competitive at international rugby league, but Australia is by far the best of them all. In 2008 they had assembled what many were calling the greatest team ever. However the Kiwis stunned them in the final, winning 34-20 to claim their very first World Cup title.

9. Valerie Adams defends her gold… just:

The Australian NBL tournament doesn’t have that many teams in it. However, they were completely deserving of the 2010/11 title, making them the first New Zealand franchise to win an Australian competition. They showed it was no fluke by defending their title the next season.

10. Richard Hadlee takes 384th wicket: Image by Rob Marson via Flickr

Valerie Adams

Yeah, there was a bit of controversy. But there’s no denying the fact that in 10 years’ time, Valerie Adams will most likely be New Zealand’s most successful female athlete, ever. I think the overwhelming support for another medal ceremony shows how much the country loves Val. By the way, could you tell it was sponsored by ANZ? A special mention here to the Evers-Swindell twins.

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It was all the way back in 1988 but still an important milestone in New Zealand cricket.

Hadlee’s 384th wicket saw him become the leading test wicket taker in cricket history, surpassing Ian Botham. He ended his career in 1990 with 431 test wickets.

FEATURE

ISSUE 23 2012

A nation of clever bastards: NZ’s no. 8 wire tradition

By Alanna Caveney Maybe because we're so far removed from everything else, and sometimes goods haven't been so readily available for us, New Zealand has become a country of inventors. We are said to follow the “no. 8 wire tradition”, meaning we can make or mend anything with no. 8 wire. By 1900, New Zealand had the highest number of patent applications per person. You could actually say we're a nation of MacGyvers.

Bungy jump:

The best known NZ invention is the Bungy, developed by A.J. Hackett after he made a famous (not to mention illegal) bungy from the Eiffel Tower in 1987, after already jumping from a series of other bridges and buildings to build public interest.

Our first permanent Bungy site still exists – the Kawarau Bridge Bungy in Queenstown. As of 2010, many countries such as Bali, Russia, Germany, France, Australia and Macau (China) all have an A.J. Hackett Bungy.

Electric fence:

Being a nation of farmers, we have created many devices and methods to make our farming more efficient.

Invented by farmer William Gallagher Sr. in 1936-37, it was built from a car's ignition coil and a magneto set in order to stop his horses scratching up against his car. In 1962, another NZ farmer, Doug Phillips, developed a non-shortable fence which increased the electric range from a few hundred metres to 35 kilometres.

Jogging:

Strange but true, what we now call “jogging” (although people have obviously been able to do it since the beginning of time) was a method developed by athletic trainer and coach Arthur Lydiard as a training technique for runners to gradually build stamina. It helped win Olympic medals for his protégés, Peter Snell and Murray Halberg, at the 1960 Rome Olympics, and propelled New Zealand to the top of the world for middle-distance running.

Cycling monorail:

Anyone who has been to the Agrodome in the last few years will have noticed the futuristic looking track where people cycle around in pods, and race each other. The “Schweeb” was invented by cyclist Geoff Barnett, and besides being a tourist attraction in Rotorua, it is also a prototype for a form of massproduced transport being marketed internationally as an environmentallyfriendly solution to shorter distance urban travels. Since it opened in 2007, more than 30,000 riders have raced each other on these alien machines, reaching speeds up to 70kph. And I also just wanted to say “Schweeb”.

Ref's whistle:

Although the whistle itself existed, few know the origin of the use of whistles in sport by referees. It came about when New Zealand referee William Atack became the first person in the world to use a whistle to stop a game of sport in 1884. Before that game, all referees simply used their voices to make calls and control the flow of play.

Disposable syringe:

One of the world's most influential health developments came from Timaru's Colin Murdoch when he came up with the idea of a syringe that can be used once and thrown away, easy to use and lightweight. Although it is a relatively simple device, this invention has saved

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millions of lives and helped sufferers of things such as diabetes and Crohn's disease around the world who rely on self-injectables. He also conceived the idea of the tranquiliser gun for use on animals.

Amphibious vehicles:

Alan Gibbs invented the world's first high speed sports vehicle that travels on land as well as water.

The Gibbs Aquada transforms from car to boat at the touch of a button. It was launched worldwide publicly when Sir Richard Branson drove the Aquada across the Thames River in London in 2003. Capable of speeds up to 160km/h on land and 50km/h on water, it is the world's first vehicle which can be both a sleek speedboat and open-top sports car.

Ernest Godward:

Godward's many creations include the world's first spiral hair-pin – an international success that set him up as a full-time inventor. He sold the hair-pin patent for $20,000, a huge amount in 1901. Despite this, Godward is best known for his ‘economiser’, the Godward Vaporiser. This was an early form of carburetor that allowed vehicles to run on kerosene, gasoline oil, petrol and even bootleg liquor. He invented 72 models of the economiser, and by the 1930s was recognised as the world’s leading authority on the internal combustion engine.

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Social Media

Morgahna Godwin The twitter-sphere seemed like one big Dr. Phil session this week.

Everyone with the ability to construct a sentence in 140 characters wanted to give their opinion on often trivial things. Therefore, this week I bring you the list of FYI tweets - 'For Your Information' tweets of the week:

Pebbles Hooper@PebblesHooper

“every time i see some bitch with wet hair going to work, i hug her and whisper ‘i'm sorry he tried to drown you’" So brutal, but so true.

Sky Ferreira @skyferreira

Kim Kardashian@KimKardashian

Sleeping pills are no joke.

“Can't sleep. Up watching this Katy Perry movie. OMG this movie made me fall in love with her even more!

Such a good movie!”

Alexa Chung @alexa_chung

"you can't understand a word he says but if you read the lyrics you wanna kill yourself" my pal explaining why I should like Bon Iver.

Kim Kardashian@KimKardashian

“Getting ready and watching the Katy Perry movie again with the girls & crew! I'm making them watch!

We are all in tears! Awww love her!”

That sentence is everything I have ever tried to give birth to in my brain to explain Bon Iver to someone.

FYI Kim watched Katy Perry's movie. Oh, and she cried.

Justin Bieber@justinbieber

Ellen DeGeneres@TheEllenShow

“i might let a friend drive my car but i didnt give him my car. #rumors#funnystuff”

“I found out about a new feature of the iPhone 5. The iPhone 5 can now wait in line for the iPhone 6.”

The bibs subtly letting his friends no who's boss.

The new iPhone came out. Did you notice? Me neither [picks up new iPhone to instagram cute cat sleeping].

Sasha Spielberg@Sashaspielbrg

"I wanna turn you into a gif and post it again and again and again"

Paris Hilton@ParisHilton

“Had the most incredible time of my life in New York.

Now taking off back home to LA! Love that the plane has WI-FI. #YES!”

This is now how you tell someone you love them.

Keisha Castle-Hughes@kecahu

Paris + internet. Is that really a good thing?

“You win some, you WINZ some.”

Jennifer Choat

COMICS

*All images taken from twitter

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ARTICLE

ISSUE 23 2012

MATTHEW CATTIN

A to Z of Kiwi slang You gotta love the way Kiwis chat. It really is music to the ears to hear a genuinely old-school Kiwi accent, dags and all. You have to wonder though, with slang like ours, it really is no surprise foreigners have trouble understanding us. On top of that, the amount of Kiwiisms we have which derive from sex is bloody ridiculous. Ahhh well. Whoever doesn’t like it is up shit creek with leaky gumboots ‘cause I don’t think we’re about to change. Here is an A to Z of Kiwi slang to amuse, to confuse and to educate. So rattle yer dags and take a squizz!

BONK

Arse over tit

An affectionate term for sex, usually implying a quick, fun session with no obligation to call in the morning.

While the rest of the world falls politely head over heels in love, Kiwis fall arse over tit. Frankly vulgar us Kiwis…

Eh bro?

Meaning “you feel me right?” For example, “she’s a good bitch eh bro?!”

Dag

Dried lumps of shit that stick to a lamb’s tail but also a term of endearment ie “she’s a dag” meaning, she is funny.

Cockup

Gidday

A confusing term for a mistake, maybe originating from being caught out with your pants around the ankles – cock up.

Fanny

In the USA, a fanny is your bum. In New Zealand, a fanny is a woman’s lady garden… Hence why we have bum bags here. In America, they are known quite unfortunately as ‘fanny packs’.

Good day, contracted to a less formal word.

Kick the bucket

Jandals

Half Pie

Also known in Australia as thongs or flip-flops, jandals are to sandals what a G-string is to briefs.

Kiwis love pies. What we don’t love, is half pies. Why? Well, because there is less pie. So if somebody says you’re a half pie lover, well you better get you’re A into G and try again.

Mountain oysters

To stop rams from breeding like rabbits with the ewes, farmers sometimes put rings around their testicles, causing them to drop off. These poor, discarded testicles are known as mountain oysters. They might not look like Bluff oysters, but I’m sure they’re just as tasty.

Out of the blue

A term used to describe something unexpected i.e. “and then he ran at me out of the blue going full tit!”

Piece of piss Ticketty-boo

Meaning all good and well. “Everything is all ticketty-boo.”

Meaning something was easy. “That was a mean bonk bro. That girl was a piece of piss!”

Up shit creek with leaky gumboots

Dried lumps of shit that stick to a lamb’s tail but also a term of endearment ie “she’s a dag” meaning, she is funny.

Wobbly

As in “did you see Mrs White pack a wobbly when Jordan said fanny in SSR?” meaning to get mad. I’m talkin’ real mad.

Sweet as

Meaning everything is all good. I love hearing foreign accents trying to pull it off. Just doesn’t work!

Meaning to keel over and die. I guess when you think about, if you kick over a bucket, it’s all over bro. Time to clean up, get some counselling and move on.

Loo

“Can I just quickly go to the loo?” Kiwi name for toilet.

Not even ow!

Kiwiism for “bro! You’re not serious!”

It serves as an expression of wonder, amazement, disbelief or doubt all depending on tone of voice. A very versatile saying.

Rattle yer dags

Meaning to hurry up! A saying full of brilliant imagery. Can you imagine the sheep’s dags rattling as they sprint down the hill?

Varsity

What 40-plus year olds call university.

Not used as much by the younger generation who realised university could simply and effectively be shortened to ‘uni’.

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Yous fellas

Yous, meaning the plural of you and fellas meaning people.

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ARTICLE

"New Zealand television has thrown up some absolute pearlers – local gems have been uncovered and celebrated. However these gems have had to be dug out of a swamp of elephant faeces."

By Ben Hill

T

he relationship between New Zealand as a nation and the medium of television has been extremely tumultuous.

There has been the positive; TV which has inspired, entertained, elated and impacted on our country.

However these moments have been counteracted by what can best be described as visual and aural terrorism - moments which have been an unsightly attack and have frankly been downright offensive. If you feel I am overreacting you should attempt to sit through the entire half-hour episode of Country Calendar from 2009 that took an in-depth look at artificial insemination. Luckily there have been notable examples of Kiwi TV which have been slightly better than farm animals being impregnated, and this article will attempt to cover the high and low-lights of the history of New Zealand television. This is in no way a definitive list; rather a personal synopsis of the state of the medium in this country.

Introduced here in 1960, 52 years of NZ television has brought with it 52 years of occasional quality. The sad thing about this occasional quality is that it is never around for long enough. This is certainly the case with one of my favourite television shows of all time, Sportscafe, a wonderful mix of great local sports stars, journalists, writers, presenters and comedians. The show had all the ingredients for some bloody good viewing. Marc Ellis was brilliantly cheeky and defiant, and his longrunning banter with host Ric Salizzo made for some hearty chuckles, not to mention the absolutely outstanding Leigh Hart.

Media piss-taking

Governor-General Sir Anand Satyanand, and he buggered off across the ditch where he isn’t doing so well.

An equally riveting and hilarious local production no longer being produced is the Jeremy Wells hosted Eating Media Lunch. I must admit at this point to having a small man-crush on the sultry toned and ravishingly handsome Wells, but this bias does not discredit the fact that EML was one of the most provocative programmes NZ telly has had to offer.

It provided satire of the media itself, something that is desperately missing. An example of this media pisstakery was the picking up of a subtle pioneering faux pas from One News weatherman Jim Hickey, who became the first man to utter an incredibly vile swear word on live television. It would be crass to reveal the full extent of Hickey’s slip up, however a quick YouTube search should deliver the goods.

We also had C4’s Insert Video Here which was a genius format: Dai Henwood was sent out to find the biggest munters New Zealand could offer and simply interact with them, spliced with some of the best video clips of all time.

Over two years, this show managed to take the most unappealing subjects and turn them into cult heroes. It needs to be brought back. These are only four examples of great Kiwi TV, and they are all from fairly recent times, however, they are definite standouts of exceptional quality that sadly had to leave us.

The sad thing about New Zealand television history is that the longest running programmes are not necessarily the ones I would consider to be the most entertaining. Shortland Street is the longest running drama and one of the most watched television shows in New Zealand. However in this critic’s opinion, the show is absolutely woeful. First of all for a show set in a hospital there appears to be fuck all surgery going on. So it’s inaccurate. Second of all, some of the storylines and acting are terrifyingly cringe-worthy.

It does not belong in the “so bad it’s good” category as that would require it to have some redeeming features, of which it has none. It is simply “bad”.

Another provocateur who was ultimately too expressive for his own good was former Breakfast host Paul Henry. His appeal was certainly helped by the fact that anyone sitting next to the glorious Pippa Wetzell immediately becomes 10 times more interesting, although Henry’s ability to “say what everyone else was thinking” endeared him to a nation. Possessing the world’s most infectious giggle and a sharp wit, he was immensely popular and certainly made morning television a lot more watchable. Alas, like many good things, his run did not last forever. He got into some deep Dikshit over comments made regarding an organiser of the Commonwealth Games and a definitely racist commentary on then

WEAK-SAUCE SHOW

In keeping with New Zealand’s obsession with weak-sauce shows with ‘street’ in their name is England’s worst export ever, Coronation

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Street. Although technically a foreign show, Coro allows for New Zealanders to celebrate (or mourn) the old colonial links. There was a mammoth outcry in retirement homes all over the country and on a few streets in Invercargill when TVNZ dared to move Coro’s screening time to two hours earlier. Apparently people with nothing to do with their lives like to keep it that way until 7.30. The only good thing to ever happen around the Rovers Return was when Richard Hillman was wasting people in 2003. Since then literally nothing has happened on the show. Cunningly the writers have managed to keep everything the same over nine years with no one noticing.

Doesn’t it speak volumes about our TV taste when this is the type of programme that constantly ranks in the Top Ten most viewed shows?

At this point I had planned to discuss this year’s telly tragedies, The Ridges and The GC. However, even beginning to describe what these shows have done to what is meant to be an artistic platform is making me depressed. So before I break down in tears, I must leave my critique there.

New Zealand television has thrown up some absolute pearlers – local gems have been uncovered and celebrated. However these gems have had to be dug out of a swamp of elephant faeces. And often these gems have been taken away from us too soon. With every small glimmer of undeniable quality, however, there remains hope that one day we will live in a nation that cherishes and rewards truly outstanding television.

ISSUE 23 2012

ARTICLE

By Stuart Timmins Us Kiwis are an inspired bunch. Just take a look at New Zealand’s YouTube community – a hub of no. 8 wire creativity. As a low profile community, some really great content providers in our country get overlooked in favour of their more widely known American or British counterparts. So I’ve compiled a list of the top 10 NZ YouTube channels you should watch; why the channels are so cool and one of the best videos each channel has to offer.

10-JAMarshallMead

9-Aquul

Top Video: Welcome… And KINDERS?

Top video: Time Freeze / Time Stop Tutorial: Sony Vegas Pro 11

8-CouchKumaras

7-StrugsNotDrugs

While this is a relatively new YouTube channel created by a young Kiwi gal from Katikati, the vlogging content and style is already pretty cool and I’m sure this channel will grow into something really nice. Certainly one to watch. She introduces the vlog saying: “People assume that this channel wallows in neglect, but, actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a creative outlet that isn't one yet”.

This channel is for people who want to make videos or animation, with tutorials on Sony Vegas Pro and Photoshop. With varied and useful tutorials such as stabilising video footage for the shaky handed cameraperson out there, these videos are great for people who don’t have an apple computer but still want to make and edit some high quality videos.

A sketch comedy group with some nice random humour – pretty much what YouTube is all about. While for some sketches you have to invest a little more time than you normally might on YouTube, the punchline almost always pays off. The group describes themselves as “three humble yet incredibly dashing young men from Wanganui, New Zealand”. The also enlighten us with the knowledge that a “kumara is a dicotyledonous plant that belongs to the family Convolvulaceae. Similar to a potato.”

A good quality vlog channel with loads of different content, most notably some advice videos for aspiring YouTubers. One thing this channel really works on doing, and does well, is collaborating with other New Zealand YouTubers, and working on strengthening the community which is awesome.

Top Video: TMT - Engaging Your Audience.

Top Video: The Bread Thing 22

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ARTICLE

6-SamAndGeeMusic

5-ThaMakeBelieve

What is really great about this channel is the acoustic and live vibe that comes across. While it is clichéd to say it, these girls are great translators of music, lyrics and are a really talented duo.

And the banter at the beginning is fun. The girls introduce themselves as “two simple folk from New Zealand dabbling in the vast world that is music ;D We do covers and the odd original, and are always up for some requests”.

The band The Make Believe are interesting and refreshing, because their sound is different from anything I have heard recently. As it shows in their acoustic cover videos, this band is really talented and will hopefully break out of YouTube and have a promising career.

Top Video: The Make Believe - Wide Awake (Cover)

Top Video: Shake it out by Florence and the Machine

4-Shaaanoxovlogs

3-Eddie Lo

Top Video: How To Fix Makeup Mistakes

Top Video: Hopskotch @ SDNZ National Champs 2012

2-FlatDiaries

1-GeeeVlogs

When researching channels for this article, I got pointed to this channel several times, and it is easy to see why, with the videos presenting a down to earth vibe on useful make up tutorials and fashion tips. A channel the fashion and glamour savvy should definitely check out.

This dance video channel with solo work from Eddie Lo and group choreography is really cool, slick and defined work, making for compelling viewing. Also it is nice to see this kind of work coming from Kiwi artists, and seeing a new video pop up in your subscription box is always a treat.

The chronicles of a flat of AUT students who, in their vlogs cover hard hitting topics such as how awesome moustaches are, and the many activities you can take part in while wearing a Power Rangers costume. Truly insane content but super funny.

They list their achievements as “Original Gangsta! Street Fighting Master of Blanka. A Masters Degree in Bullshit. Professional procrastinator. Synchronized swimming gold medalist. Super Ninja Assassin. Hobbit. Like a Boss!”

This was one of the first Kiwi vlog channels I found and I was hooked from the start; with a real sense of relatability, and a genuine humorous perspective on life, these videos are really great. With a wide variety of genres in one channel, there is sure to be something to appeal to everyone.

Top Video: Shit Mum Say

Top Video: Power Rangers 23

Feature

ISSUE 23 2012

Who am I? Good question

By Maia Harrison

E

veryone at some stage gets asked about their cultural identity, but when people ask me, I seem to surprise them with the enthusiasm that I have for the topic. I’m not sure about other people, but as a young kid I, I really pondered my identity. My father is Maori from Te Hāpua, and my mum is Pakeha, from Wellsford, but that doesn’t give you identity. The only thing that your parents give you is ethnicity. For me, identity came a little later.

Perhaps I should explain.

I was born in Australia, and lived there in the good ol’ Aussie bush until I was about 11. I was a happy kid, and loved running around in the sun, singing Waltzin’ Matilda and the like. Aussie kids were Weet-Bix kids, and I was happy with it (or so I thought, until I saw the NZ version of the ad. That was an identity crisis on its own).

Primary school was when I began to wonder about who I was. It was nothing major, but I remember one day when a rugby-crazed teacher telling other kids to watch out, because I would grow into a big, tough “Maarry” one day (It didn’t happen, by the way). But I remember suddenly realising that I was slightly different than the rest of the class. But also slightly confused. It seemed that with brown skin and an Aussie accent I was always called an aboriginal.

That’s probably the root of my identity crisis, and maybe I was the only seven year-old having one. Mum raised me and my sister on her own, so I never really had any idea or concept of what Maori culture was. All I had was a carved table-top that my mum always put in my room and a bone necklace from my great-nana (on my mum’s side). But I always had a connection with these two

that people would call me aboriginal no matter where I was living. I was really confused, and had no idea what the heck I was for a while. I’m not sure how I expected it to play out, but I just didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere. The identity crisis was in full swing. My sister, however, was fine. She got into Kapahaka young and was great at it; however I remained intimidated by

objects; I wore the necklace from the age of seven until it broke when I was 15, and I’ve always had the carving in my room.

Maori culture because I knew nothing about it and, well, I didn’t know where to start.

Fast forward to forth form.

Two things happened that brought my culture right to my front door. The first was my stepdad, who is Maori.

When he and my mother got together, suddenly my family got bigger, and became a whānau. Suddenly, everyone in town was my cousin, or my cousin’s cousin. And I liked it. The next thing that happened was more unexpected. I decided to take te reo Māori.

This identity crisis was totally subconscious, until one day when I was 10. My uncle had come over from New Zealand, and within five minutes of being there, Mum had decided to move home.

We needed to be where we belong, she said. Within a month I was starting a new school in New Zealand, and was excited about finding out about the other side of myself.

At first it was very difficult, but I soon began to pick up the language very quickly; I felt like a sponge. I’m not sure if it was because of my

Unfortunately, kids hadn’t gotten any nicer. It seemed that having brown skin and an Aussie accent meant

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desire to learn or because it was inside me, but very soon I could speak very well. I was inspired by my teachers. Not only my Maori teacher, who was incredibly supportive, but another teacher who inspired me was my physics teacher, who is quite possibly the only full-Scottish man in the world you will find wearing a kilt and speaking fluent te reo.

I began to give speeches and became somewhat of a Maori leader in my school. I joined Kapahaka, and my part was to do the mihi (speech) in the performance. Nothing has ever made me feel so proud. Later, I went on to compete in Maori speech competitions and did really well, coming second each year that I competed. By the time I turned to look back on my past self I realised that I had come a very long way.

Everything had suddenly clicked, and I finally felt like I knew the other half of me.

My only regret is that I held back. But not to worry, I have a plan. One day I would like to teach te reo, and hopefully inspire someone else in the way that I was.

But back to identity. When people ask about my identity, I seem to surprise them, because I have thought about it so much. I am proud of who I am; my Pakeha side, my Māori side, the pieces I added myself, and the journey it took to get there which is just as much a part of me as the rest.

Image bybabasteve via Flickr.com

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Feature

Searching for your roots:

A journey of CULTURAL identity

By Hayley Watford

G

reen Bay, a small suburb of West Auckland – population 3,936 and the home to my family for the last three generations.

It is a small community surrounded by nature, local schools, daycares and your standard shopping needs.

Being Maori and growing up in this community was not necessarily hard but proved to be a challenge for me when it came to learning about my cultural identity.

My parents could not speak te reo Maori and did not know too much about the culture. With no local kohanga, wharekura or other Maori immersion facilities in my community, growing up I never really had the opportunity to learn about my culture and its language as a child.

A NEW HOME In early 2001 my grandfather fell sick and my family moved up north to take care of him.

With the huge move from Auckland to the far north, the place I then called home was Opononi, a small town in south Hokianga – population 477. The living environment

was significantly different; my house was on a quarter acre piece of land, and there were no shops or schools in walking distance of where I lived.

Maori speech competitions, Maori performing arts and more; I wanted to be a part of everything.

A NEW LANGUAGE

Our house was situated at the end of the street where there were no power lines. Our electricity source was a small generator run on diesel that would only be turned on at nighttime to pump water for the following day and light the kitchen while my dad cooked dinner. For light when the generator had been turned off we would use candles, torches, and kerosene lanterns to find our way around the house, and during the day our kitchen facilities and hot water ran off gas bottles. The move taught my sisters and I a whole new way of living!

With the help of a passionate te reo Maori teacher, I achieved my goal and now understand the culture, and am able to speak and understand te reo Maori.

My parents and older sister are still unable to speak the language, making it tough for my younger sister and I to uphold our knowledge of the language. In late 2008, I moved back to Auckland on my own to further my education at Nga Puna o Waiorea (Western Springs College). Education up north took a turn for the worst, leaving me with a strong decision to move back to Auckland.

With no television to turn on in the mornings or after school we had no choice but to explore our surroundings.

The first few years were hard, my sisters and I school jumped a lot, trying to fit in and understand the culture. In 2005 I begun secondary school at Northland College where I made it my goal to learn te reo Maori and embrace my culture. I introduced myself to everything Maori, participating in kapa haka,

After completing seventh form at Nga Puna o Waiorea (Western Springs College) I ended up being awarded with the Community Partnership Scholarship for Maori students to study here at AUT University. Here I continue to learn about my culture, studying a Bachelors of Maori Development majoring in

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Maori media.

Because of the experience I have had with my struggle to learn about the Maori culture and te reo Maori, here at AUT I have worked with a group of Maori Liaisons to set up a whanau group called Titahi Ki TUA – AUT’s Maori Student Association based on AUT’s city campus. The name Titahi Ki TUA inspires its members to look beyond and into their future. The Association is set up to welcome Maori and nonMaori students into a large academic family to learn about culture, tikanga, kapa haka and whanaungatanga.

Growing up as an urban Maori was a difficult challenge, and not being in a cultural environment everyday proved to be so easy to forget about the importance of cultural identity. My family’s move to the far north was the best opportunity that I could have ever received as the whole experience turned out to be a great learning curve and helped me realise that nothing is impossible.

(Hayley is AuSM’s 2012 Maori Affairs Officer)

ISSUE 23 2012 Swap High Quality KEN PLATINUM TO A U GETS YO lity Swap Medium Qua OLD TOKEN G A U YO S GET y Swap lit ua Q N Regular REEN TOKE G A GETS YOU

BER

1st - 4th OCTO

to AuSM office

City Campus

AuSM 2013 Student Executive Council Voting Open

AuSM Special General Meeting (Yes! There will be free pizza!)

The AuSM Special General Meeting will be held next Monday 8th October at 12pm in Wharekai Nga Wai O Horotiu Marae (across the carpark from WC202). Agenda Items include AuSM 2013 membership fee & budget, constitutional changes, confirmation of 2013 Executive Council members and election of vacant positions. All AuSM members are welcome and pizza and refreshments will be provided.

have If you don’t ap w s clothes to lothes c you can buy 5 at $1, $2 or $

AuSM Oktober Festival

4 OCTOB3PEMR ill

Celebrate with us before exams! We’ll have Oktoberfest in Vesbar this week! Bitchin’ Bingo on Monday, Karaoke on Tuesday, Stein Band on Wednesday and Hypnotist Guy Cater on Thursday! All events are free. R18 ID required for entry.

See you there!

11AM tetilfifilrsrstt oopptitioonn g erss get per app S wap Sw M 5AM .25A 11.2 11 11 -- 11

Clothes Swap 4th Oct

Swap your pre-loved clothes, shoes & accessories! Drop off days are 1st Oct – 4th Oct at AuSM City Campus Office. You can even just come and buy them! Nothing over $5 and all funds raised will go to support Operation Christmas Child!

More info at www.facebook.com/ausm1

AuSM Rugby Sevens 6th Oct

AuSM presents the AUT Sevens this Saturday! Come and support AUT students at Hato Petera College, Northcote this Saturday!

Please contact Melita: melita.martorana@aut.ac.nz for more info.

AuSM together with Operation Christmas Child

This year AuSM is excited to partner with the Samaritan's Purse to create a drop-off location for Operation Christmas Child. Come into any AuSM office to pick up a shoe box and fill it with toys, gifts, and necessities for children in the South Pacific for Christmas! You choose the gender and age of the child you are buying for, then bring your shoe box back to your closest AuSM Office by Oct 18th. Get involved and give the simple gift of joy! Any questions, contact Deanna: dberry@aut.ac.nz

QUIZ ANSWERS: 1. Hives | 2. Alec Baldwin, Daniel Baldwin, Stephen Baldwin, Billy Baldwin | 3. Europe | 4. Alaska | 5. 1912 | 6. Ian Fleming | 7. Enid Blyton 8. Jupiter | 9. Siberian Tiger | 10. Robert Palmer WORD JUMBLE: invention, intine, invite, invent, intone, tonne, oven, vent, none, veto, tone, note, vein, vote, vine, vino, neon, nine, toe, vet, inn, ion, net, nit, not, one, ten, tin, tie

26

WWW.AUSM.ORG.NZ

ENGLISH LANGUAGE

TEACHERS NEEDED

OVERSEAS

1

Take advantage of this demand and reduce your student loan with our Qualify-to-Work Course, combining ESOL certification and a guaranteed overseas job.2

Call us now to book your place. call: 09 309 5208 or 021 783 746 email: tesol.college@edenz.ac.nz www.edenz.ac.nz 27

1, 2 Subject to terms and conditions.

ISSUE 23 2012

Trelise Cooper

Fashion

Riddle me this

Images by Melissa Low, AUT student

Zambesi

Trelise Cooper

Charlie Brown

Charlie Brown

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Fashion

NZ's fabulous party

By Daisy Sillis

continued from issue 22 Day Three of Fashion Week: Stolen Girlfriends was off site and at night. Sheepskin five panels, camouflage-like prints that were partnered with sharp collared t-shirts and three quarter shorts. 'Street wear' I guess it’s called. The wet haired models looked vampire like with glassy eyes and pale skin. What an original concept. They have some cool accessories, backpacks and tote bags that avoid trend bashing and look well-made, durable and practical. Throughout the week I noticed the wrap dress in numerous shows, and again it appeared, as well as a dirty yellow snot-like color that beautifully contrasted the patent leather. There was only three port-a-loos at this show to at least 400 people.

How cruel - an open bar and minimal toilets. After a few hours the bathroom line was almost as long as the runway. I guess it gave me opportunity to have a giggle at a ridiculously drunk, middle aged, tight-faced woman who was trying to scab a smoke off the woman next to her. You don’t get classier with age.

Their next season theme involves a snake screen print which looks very much like old season Mala Brajkovic, circa 2007. One dress was very special. Long, black, muscle-

back and mesh, leaving little to the imagination and the shiny patent leather was different to what I had seen throughout the week. I really liked the contrast. All in all, it was what you would expect from a hipster brand like SGFs. Highlight of my night was front row regular, Mark Hunter (The Cobra Snake) who was decked out in SGF matching sunflower print pants, top and bag flashing his hairy chest for the camera. Oh and obviously the free drinks.

standing on cushioned chairs, I scribbled in my notebook.

Gloria stood at my feet, a dead camera around her shoulders acting as a prop if we were asked questions about her attendance. All I got down was 'prints' and 'five panels'. Again with the five panels. Between Huffer and SGF there is an obvious use of matching prints in all areas of an outfit. Shirt, hat, pants, bag and socks. It reminds me of a kid playing dress ups, looks fun. After three minutes of a ‘show’ it was over. The night was really just an excuse to party. No complaints.

Day Four: Huffer was also off-site and on the Friday night. By this point the intimidating atmosphere of fashion week had completely worn off and, being sick of spending my days alone, I decided to sneak my girl Gloria in to the final fashion week show. Standing in the 50 meter line out front the venue we both started to get cold feet. Gloria had been drinking for a few hours and was already hitting an early hangover at 8.30pm. Lucky for us we waited it out and by 9 were at the front of the line, ready to ‘cool’ our way into a party neither of us were invited to.

It was the first fashion show that provided actual food instead of just model food, aka wine. By this point Gloria was feeling good, looking great and telling anyone who would listen how we managed to sneak her in on my media pass. I was getting paranoid.

My first fashion week and I may have overdone it.

On the last day a blogger from Hong Kong, Pannee, noted how seriously we take this annual event - she asked me why. I think for a small country we like to make a big impact, we dress to impress.

Fashion Week provides people with an insight into next year’s trends while also providing an opportunity for people to wear whatever they like -

There was no fashion show.

Instead it was the spring/ summer collection placed on six models who were barely visible. Trying to balance,

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bizarre or conservative - and be welcomed by an industry that nurtures creativity. At the time I didn't have a reply for the blogger. I guess we may take it 'too seriously'..or is that just the cool kids hiding their jealously?

Best Model - Derya Parlak Derya was not only my favorite, but also flavour of the week for many of the designers. I spotted her strut even with her face covered in mesh. She has a delish body, tiny waist with some impressive DD’s. A refreshing look that contrasts the size 4 models that are usually seen around fashion week. She flashes a cute wink or tongue poke at the most appropriate times on the catwalk. Model for Coop, Liam, Ruby, Stolen Girlfriends, Trelise Cooper, Charlie Brown, Juliette Hogan and far more.

Best overheard quotes 'I thought I got my period on that runway'

'That show was like bird porn' 'Oh my god they were taking photos of me, I was like 'I'm not a model'!!'

COLUMN

ISSUE 23 2012

10 Things Science - Fiction has Taught Me:

By Robert Vennell

1. We should stop building robots. No good will come of it.

2. The best way to avoid imminent asteroid collision is to wait till the last available second before it hits earth and then blow it up with a nuclear bomb – splitting it into two harmless pieces.

3. If a planet “seems ok,” then I can take my space helmet off without any ill effects.

4. If I am transported 30 years or so into the past, I should not take my mum to the high school dance.

5. I should treat monkeys better.

6. If we ever encounter extra-terrestrial life, chances are they would look just like humans, but with slimy skin and bug eyes.

7. If I can somehow tap into the Force, I will become a mind-reading, telekinetic space-cowboy that can jump really high, drive spaceships really well and see into the future 8. Sometime in the future, guns will be replaced by lasers. Evil minions however, will still have terrible aim.

9. If we ever encounter extra-terrestrial life, we would most probably force them into ghettos and start an alien apartheid.

10. If I make the most successful science-fiction franchise of all time, I should not then go make three lacklustre prequels and butcher the originals with overdubbing and random inserts of C.G. aliens.

Cheap eats for students: restaurant review - By India Hendrikse

Taste the Universe without the journey The name says it all; The Ponsonby International Food Court is most definitely a global experience! A healthy 20 minute walk from AUT, situated in the heart of Ponsonby, dishes from all around the world are offered at incredible prices.

Food courts are well-known to offer sloppy hamburgers served with oily fries and a heart-attack-worthy serving of salt, but these options are foreign in Ponsonby’s take on your trusty food court. Dishes from all over the world tantalise your taste buds with an average price of around ten bucks.

A personal favourite is Ruk Thai, where one can order what I would vote the cheapest and most delicious Pad Thai in all of Auckland. An enormous plate is served up with smiles and waves from the chefs out the back, and your taste buds will be delighted by a healthy mixture of ingredients including rice noodles, tofu, chicken, lemon juice, peanuts and mung beans, to name a few.

It has been sworn by many women that Auckland’s most genetically blessed males enjoy hanging out in this food court too… so if you ladies (or men) are in the mood for a little innocent perv, then this is the place to go. So ladies and gents, this definitely seems the place for you to grab some tucker for dinner.

I recommend you give it a try. Whether you’re in the mood for French, Thai, Balinese, Turkish, or any other global delight, take a little hike to Ponsonby, as it will be well worth your while.

30

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REVIEWS

Babel

Kiss

Mumford & Sons

Carly Rae Jepsen

Call them sell outs or a glorified folk boy band, but you can’t deny Marcus Mumford and his band of multi-instrumentalists are talented as fuck. They can all sing, harmonize together, and they sound as good live as they do on record – sometimes better. Their 2009 debut Sigh No More was unfortunately a bit radio-spoilt but hey, the rest of their album was better than the singles and I don’t listen to radio so that’s that point done and dusted. On that note, it pisses me off when people whine and rant “the radio killed that song for me”. Quit your hipster-bitch and either change station or splash out and buy an album or two.

I have been anticipating Babel since I listened to Sigh No More.

The band had me at “your heart on the line” and I’ve followed their movements closely since. I jumped on the Mumford train at the start of 2009 when a dear friend made me a mix CD. Rather than get snotty when the album made it to number one around six months later, I beamed like a proud parent, pleased that my boys were getting the attention I felt they deserved.

On first listen, Babel is a rollicking good listen. I can promise foot stomping aplenty, plucking good banjo, powerful harmonies, dark and grisly lyrics, and of course, Marcus Mumford’s gorgeous voice.

It really is biblically good. I know I’m biased, but with good reason.

This band is super talented and you know what, they’ve earned my opinion fair and square.

Babel kicks off the album with fierceness and fire. If it doesn’t have your heart racing and your foot stomping, you are dead inside.

Ghosts That We Knew melts away that anger like the sunrise on morning snow, delicate finger

picking on the banjo and acoustic working perfectly with the full harmonies. The song picks up, the picking breaks into a strum and violins enter the melee. The vocals begin to soar and Marcus unleashes the beast. It’s Mumford & Sons at their very best. Welcome back.

My favourite song would have to be Lovers’ Eyes a building ballad that brings a tear to the eye and a rush of blood to the nether regions. It starts off so delicately, so charming and empty. Like a cartoon snowball though, it gets bigger and bigger.

Enter the double bass, enter the kick drum and bring on their most powerful build up yet, horn section and all, and you’re left with Mumford’s best song to date.

First single I Will Wait is definitely a grower. At first I thought it was okay, but now I love it. They just have so much power as a group, they keep it simple, sing as one and the magic happens. Dynamically, it’s genius - it rises and falls like the tides. God I’m dramatic… But gosh darnit, that’s what Mumford & Sons do to me. Babel is everything I could have wanted and more. If you loved the debut, buy it today.

If you’ve never heard of them, now is the hour, buy it today. I can tell already, this one’s going to be on repeat.

- Matthew Cattin

Finally, months after her debut single Call Me Maybe, which for some bizarre reason became one of the biggest songs of 2012, Carly Rae Jepsen has released her first album, Kiss. Just as you probably expected, it is a pile of auto tuned bubblegum pop junk, sprinkled with pink fairy glitter. Kiss has simple sickly sweet lyrics, too much happiness and a guest appearance from Justin Bieber which makes for one overall poor album.

The first song on the album is Tiny Little Bows. I’m not sure what this song is about, because the only thing I could think of which has tiny little bows is one of those cute dogs you enter in show competitions. I really hope Carly Rae Jepsen is not singing about her favourite dog. Or her shoes. Does she wear shoes with tiny little bows? Okay, on to This Kiss, track number two. This one seems to be easier to understand; Carly Rae cannot resist some guy’s kiss. You know those songs where every sentence rhymes and the songs stops making sense halfway through? This, like the rest of the album, is one of those songs. Kind of like the stuff Hilary Duff did 10 years ago.

There are two songs on Kiss which boost the star score to two stars out of five. The first is Call Me Maybe.

Love it or hate it, it is the one hit wonder of 2012, and a wonderfully guilty pleasure. The second is the collaboration with Owl City on the song Good Time.

This is the best song on the album and it’s what Carly Rae Jepsen should be doing. It’s fun and catchy, not annoying and overly sweetened. And then Carly Rae Jepsen featured Justin Bieber in a song about the two of them being beautiful and that lost her half a star.

The real issue I have with Kiss is it doesn’t fit with who Carly Rae Jepsen is and I don’t think there is a place for her right now in music. She is a 26-year-old pop singer, but she sounds like she is 16. She’s older than Lady Gaga and Demi Lovato but isn’t putting out songs with any feeling or meaning. Carly Rae Jepsen should have taken her cut from Call Me Maybe and left it at that.

Kiss does nothing for me and I think she will soon be on her way out of music making, tiny little bows and all.

And it seems iTunes has already given up on Kiss. Just over a week out and it’s already down to $12.99. Get it now, it’s a bargain!

- Renee Simpson

REVIEWS

SUN

Two Little Boys

Cat Power

Bret McKenzie, Hamish Blake and Maaka Pohatu Director: Robert Sarkies | Run Time: 105 min

Six years after her last album of original material, Cat Power (aka Chan Marshall) is back with a sultry, sonic mix of songs that reflect a very personal journey.

Marshall often opens up about her search for happiness in her songs while reflecting on a personal level – Sun is no different in this sense.

Perhaps her last album, The Greatest, moved away from this style of song writing a little bit with its Southern soul styled influences which added a touch of tempo with piano and horns.

Sun, however, moves toward her earlier work in terms of song writing – lyrics which are sparse yet deeply reflective and often brooding.

The album includes the song Nothing But Time, a track about her ex-boyfriend’s (actor Giovanni Ribisi) teen daughter.

Marshall sings “I see you kid alone in your room, you got the world on your mind and you’re trying to get by”.

A number of tracks really depict her inward thoughts and musings to the extent the lyrics seem like short poems she might have jotted down in a diary.

In other songs her lyrics evoke messages of hope and personal empowerment – at times it sounds like she’s been influenced by one too many self-help books.

Songs like Always On My Own, and Real Life are similar in this sense. Or the track Human Being where she preaches “you gotta right to scream when they don’t want you to speak, you gotta right to be watcha want and where you want to be”.

In an interview, Marshall says

since her last album she felt she wasn’t challenging herself. She recorded Sun to prove to herself that she could overcome her creative blocks. In this sense, it seems it was not an easy album for Marshall to make, but despite some struggling aspects to the album, she does come out on top.

Sound wise, the album is stripped back and bare. There is some piano, and quite a lot of sonic texturing and creative use of synth – a sound that is being reinvented in a lot more music today.

Often the word “synth” evokes simplicity and a cheesy 80’s sound. On this album it adds atmosphere and mood to the groovy tempo and Marshall’s smoky, velvet voice. She has a way of delivering every line with warmth and honesty and we know she’s lived through every moment of what she’s revealing.

Standout songs include the opening track Cherokee – it introduces you to the mood of the album straight away with its breezy beat. While Ruin, the first single of the album, is a great piano driven song and displays Marshall’s ability to deliver punchy lyrics (“I’ve been to Saudi Arabia, Dhaka, Calcutta, Soweto, Mozambique, Istanbul…”) that lesser artists might not get away with. Cat Power has the ability to remain breezy and catchy even while she treads some rocky terrain. This is the mood of Sun and it’s hinted at by the cover – it features Marshall’s face covered by a rainbow as if she’s come out of the rain.

- Nigel Moffiet

The last two decades have been hugely successful for New Zealand film. Forget the success of Sir Peter Jackson for a minute and you’ll find a strong bunch of distinctly Kiwi and infinitely quirky films. Their appeal mightn’t be that strong internationally but they seem to be so summative of the Kiwi culture that I can’t help but love them. Think Boy, Eagle vs Shark and Sione’s Wedding. They won’t be nominated for any Oscars but to New Zealanders, they’re worth their weight in gold. Two Little Boys is a film I hoped would sit alongside the aforementioned Kiwi classics but as enjoyable as it is, it doesn’t quite have the flair a director such as Taika Waititi would have brought to it.

yeah, a little heavier than the trailer suggests.

As you’ve probably realised from the trailer, Two Little Boys is a comedy thriller about a pair of knob-head Kiwis who get themselves in a sticky mess that goes from bad to worse. Lovable nice-guy Nige (Bret McKenzie) accidentally kills a Scandinavian tourist whilst driving laps on Invercargill’s man drag –his thinking time. Rather than call the coppers, Nige freaks and hides the body, dropping in on his ex-flatmate (and discarded best mate) Deano, played by Australia’s Hamish Blake. Deano, the stronger character of the quirky pair decides there’s only one thing for it; chop up the body and dispose of it in the remote and beautiful Catlins. So begins a story of peer-pressure, guilt, immaturity and obsession. So

Essentially a Kiwi road trip film with a murderous twist, Two Little Boys is an entertaining ride that kept me interested until the end. Hamish Blake and McKenzie were good, but not great, and the saving graces came from Maaka Pohatu’s gorgeous performance of Gav and cheeky cameos by Kiwi acting legend Ian Mune and Tim Shadbolt – everybody’s favourite mayor. The first film ever to be made in the Catlins, I imagine it’ll work wonders for tourism down there which is nice - it’s definitely moved to the top of my destination list. If you dig your Kiwi films, you’ll enjoy Two Little Boys. It’s not a bad film at all; I just wish it fulfilled its potential.

My favourite character is Gav, a beefy Maori security guard who, under all of his puppy fat has a heart of gold. Gav is Nige’s new and improved flatmate who accompanies the pair to the Catlins much to Deano’s distaste. You see Gav saw the pair looking a bit sketchy on the night of the mishap so the idea is to keep him isolated from the news for a couple of days until things cool down back in Invercargill. The remainder of the film is packed with some truly stunning scenery, a few touching moments, a decent dosage of suspense but unfortunately, not enough laughs.

- Matthew Cattin

VOX POP

ISSUE 23 2012

AUT ON KIWIANA Joel Compton

Toby Morris

27 – Computer science

27 – Computer science

What gives New Zealand its identity?

“A laid back attitude and a strong will to accomplish something.”

What gives New Zealand its identity?

“The fact that equality is promoted and it’s important for us.”

What are you favourite and least favourite NZ TV shows?

“Worst is Shortland Street and best is Outrageous Fortune.”

What are you favourite and least favourite NZ TV shows?

“Worst is Shortland Street and my favourite is live NZ comedy like 7 Days.”

Who is your favourite NZ celeb?

“Richie McCaw.”

Who is your favourite NZ celeb?

“Can it be a band? Fat Freddy’s.”

If NZ disappeared overnight, what would you most miss?

“It would be the Waitakare Ranges because I’m running through them at the moment for soccer training.”

If NZ disappeared overnight, what would you most miss?

“Having my accommodation paid for by the government.”

Ben Harrington

Fernanda Carvalho

23 – Bachelor of visual arts

33 – Translation Studies

What gives New Zealand its identity?

“It’s quite a multicultural country. We’re proud of what we have and for our size we have a lot of talent.”

What gives New Zealand its identity?

“The combination of cultures. The expression of Maori culture and European culture.”

What are you favourite and least favourite NZ TV shows?

“Worst is The GC. I don’t have a TV though because I’m flatting.”

What are you favourite and least favourite NZ TV shows?

“The best is 7 Days. Worst, GC.”

Who is your favourite NZ celeb?

“Sir Edmund Hillary.”

Who is your favourite NZ celeb?

“Hone Harawira.”

If NZ disappeared overnight, what would you most miss?

“How people are genuine, honest and straight up. No fake aspects, it’s real.”

If NZ disappeared overnight, what would you most miss?

“Fish and Chips.”

Claire Dickson

Ksenia Vistovskaya

20 - Communications

19 - Graphic Design

What gives New Zealand its identity?

“The scenery, Maori culture, the history of the European settlers, native animals like the kiwi, our native plants that exist nowhere else in the world. We’re friendly, accepting people and laid back.”

What gives New Zealand its identity?

“It’s green, but not really. Rugby, kiwis and all the stereotypes.”

What are you favourite and least favourite NZ TV shows?

“I don’t watch TV at all.”

What are you favourite and least favourite NZ TV shows?

“My favourite is Nothing Trivial and Outrageous Fortune and the worst is Shortland Street.”

Who is your favourite NZ celeb?

“That really hot rugby player, Sonny Bill.”

If NZ disappeared overnight, what would you most miss?

“My Kiwi friends and the pretty nature.”

Who is your favourite NZ celeb?

“Jason Kerrison, Temuera Morrison and Richie McCaw.” If NZ disappeared overnight, what would you most miss?

“My Mum.”

Joshua Neuberger

Mel Lutui

19 – Applied chemistry

26 – AuSM

What gives New Zealand its identity?

It’s the people. They’re friendly in NZ and they go out of their way to help you.

What gives New Zealand its identity?

“The Maori culture and the multicultural society.”

What are you favourite and least favourite NZ TV shows?

“The worst is Shortland Street and the best is Bro Town.”

What are you favourite and least favourite NZ TV shows?

“I don’t watch drama so the news or Campbell Live are my favourites.”

Who is your favourite NZ celeb?

“Valerie Adams, my cousin!”

Who is your favourite NZ celeb?

“Ernest Rutherford .”

If NZ disappeared overnight, what would you most miss?

“I’d miss Richard Kahui aka Mr hottie.”

If NZ disappeared overnight, what would you most miss?

“Meat pies.”

34

12 NOON // To be held in WHAREKAI NGA WAI O HOROTIU MARAE (across the carpark from WC202) All AuSM members are welcome.

Please bring student ID. Agenda items include: AuSM 2013 membership fee & budget.

Constitutional Changes.

Confirmation of 2013 Executive Council members.

Election of vacant 2013 Executive Council positions: Design & Creative Technologies Faculty Representative, Maori Affairs Officer, Postgraduate Students Officer

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