Debate | Issue 12 | 2016

DEBATE ISSUE 12 | JUNE 2016

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DON’T DROP OUT

DROP IN! Before your minor becomes a major, come and see the Advocacy team at the AuSM offices for independent, impartial and confidential advice on most academic and legal issues.

MONDAYS AND WEDNESDAYS 11.30am –1pm South Campus, ME 109 TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS 11.30am to 1pm North Shore Campus, AS Café AUSM OFFICE HOURS City Campus, Level 2, WC* *Providing an advocate is available at the time of drop in.

FREE to all AUT Students CONTACT advocacy@aut.ac.nz for more info or call AuSM on (09) 921 9805

CREDITS PUBLISHED BY

EDITOR Laurien Barks lbarks@aut.ac.nz SUB - EDITORS Amelia Petrovich Julie Cleaver DESIGNER Ramina Rai rrai@aut.ac.nz CONTRIBUTORS Sheetal Samy, Amelia Petrovich, Shawn Cleaver, Reegan Hill, Kieran Bennett, Hayley Stevenson, Kurt Schmidt, Jeremy Roundill, Julie Cleaver, Chantelle Cullen, Shivan, Sharleen Shergill, Ethan Sills ADVERTISING Harriet Smythe hsmythe@aut.ac.nz

Contributions can be sent to lbarks@aut.ac.nz

PRINTER Debate is printed lovingly by Soar Print

CONTENTS

Debate is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA) This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT AT AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY INCORPORATED (“AuSM”).

Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly. Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AuSM.

DISCLAIMER

Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, Soar Print or its subsidiaries.

Pg 4 Editor’s Letter

Pg 18 The Pockets That Are Never Real

Pg 5 Horoscopes

Pg 20 Going Tea Distance

Pg 6 Full Moon Party

Pg 22 Ball Dress Saga

Pg 8 I’m Gluten Free

Pg 24 Small Story, Big Painting

Pg 10 In Short

Pg 26 90s Baby

Pg 13 3am Thoughts

Pg 28 Reviews

Pg 14 Cool Shit

Pg 30 Recipe

Pg 15 Investments of the Week

Pg 31 Puzzles

Pg 16 Health: Our New Currency

AUSM.ORG.NZ

COVER PHOTO BY L U I S D ÁV I L A FA C E B O O K . C O M / A U S M D E B AT E

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EDITOR’S LETTER Heya All, Last week, one of the largest stories to capture my attention was most definitely the tragic death of Harambe the gorilla. The string of events and online discussion that followed the undoubtedly heart-breaking decision to end his life still has my head spinning.

For those who aren’t up to date on what went down, essentially a four year old boy fell into a gorilla enclosure, and because the boy’s life was at stake, zoo officials sadly shot and killed a beloved gorilla named Harambe.

Unsurprisingly, this has caused outrage for a number of different reasons. And it’s a really tricky situation in which to decipher right from wrong. Shooting a member of an endangered species seems like a decision that never should have been made, particularly since the gorilla was showing no signs of aggression according to experts.

That being said, in all honestly…what could officials have done?

Tranquilizers weren’t an option, Harambe wasn’t responding to the keepers who managed to evacuate the other two gorillas in the exhibit, you really couldn’t risk sending another person in there in case Harambe got possessive and accidentally maimed or killed

the child. Even with the gentlest and most protective intentions, video footage saw the gorilla dragging the boy through the moat that separated him from the onlookers at startling speed and strength. Sure, it’s been said that the gorilla was trying to move the boy away from the screaming onlookers and recognized the little kid’s harmlessness… but even still, one accidental hit to the head and that boy could’ve been in serious trouble. It’s a huge tragedy, and many are still mourning the loss, but if the boy had died and Harambe had lived…would the situation really have been any less tragic?

From what I’ve read, the situation seemed hopeless from the moment that kid fell into the water, and apart from preventing the fall from happening in the first place, I really don’t see how officials could have handled it another way.

Which brings me to the next point: why did this happen at all? Surely we are not living in a world where mistakes that lead to animal deaths such as this just happen. I do not think the people who decided to fire the gun at Harambe are to blame for his death, but someone is. And peeps…I don’t think it’s the mother. Little kids wander, eyes are not 100 percent on children at all times, and parents are human beings who should not be deemed ‘worthless’ when accidents happen.

She’s a normal parent, not a negligent one…just like the parents of children who are abducted and just like the parents of children who wander and drown in backyard

pools. No, the mother is not to blame, I think there’s a much bigger picture to this incident than a mum’s distracted supervision.

Despite me wondering why the eff it was so easy for that four year old to fall into a gorilla enclosure in the first place, I really can’t point fingers at the zoo either. I think this is a societal problem. For me, the whole incident reminds me of people who put dogs down when they act on instinct and bite the child poking them with a stick. Or people who think killing sharks to keep water safe is a great idea. Or…zoos as a concept.

We’re encroaching on animal territories and provoking their natural instincts, using them for our own entertainment, and killing them when they don’t suit us. It’s incredibly selfish, and if Harambe’s death has achieved anything on a personal level, it’s the fact that I’m regretting every dollar I’ve ever paid for a trip to the zoo. How dare we take advantage of animals like this? How dare we put them in situations where we’re forced to choose between them and someone’s child?

This isn’t a specified fault in supervision, or fencing, or methods…it’s a fault in society, and I hope Harambe’s death wasn’t in vain.

I hope it gets and keeps us all talking about the real issue here.

Have a good week, Laurien

horoscopes HOROSCOPES Sheetal Samy Aries As you near the finish line, thrust your neck forward so that you’re ahead when the picture snaps. Whatever it takes. Spend the week basking in the sweet glow of success.

Libra There are limits to what you’ll be able to accomplish on Monday, as a sentimental mood has you feeling oddly unbalanced. This weirdness dissolves in a headlong rush of romance and goodwill.

Taurus The way you stand says a lot about how you’re feeling this week. Poise is important especially when a weird conflict with a friend or authority figure unexpectedly presents itself.

Scorpio Normally you’re a rather sensitive being, however, this week you will be thinking more like a CEO. You’re all business; determination and shrewdness define the day.

Sign the dotted line. Get this project going.

Gemini The start of your week is going to be tough as it is for everybody, but that changes quickly for you. Many of the questions that you have floating around in your head get answered this week.

Sagittarius The way you look at things is startling and unique.

And the way you communicate is startling as well… and plenty direct! Perfect strangers are carrying on fascinating conversations with you wherever you go.

Cancer If you don’t feel like going out, find a way to stay indoors.

You have millions of projects to occupy yourself with, the last thing you need to grapple with right now is, you know, other people.

Capricorn The week begins on a great note. You’re rather impressive these days! Financial issues may affect your mood slightly midweek, it’s not that you don’t have cash, it’s just that you’re indecisive about what to do with it.

Leo Making a good impression is a key concern of yours this week, but so is not coming across as arrogant. It’s a delicate balance. One way to strike that balance is to avail yourself to someone else.

Aquarius Reward yourself this week for your discipline for staying on task. At the end of the workday, you may return home tired, but that’s only because your body is gearing up to glow extra brightly.

Virgo A lovely weekend leads to a romantic start of this week. If you’re single, that might change. You may even meet someone through work. The fun you have at the beginning of the week leads to a desire to organise your life as the week goes on.

Pisces A friend in a high place pulls strings for you at the beginning of the week, and you can’t believe your luck.

Life is good. But you feel a bit like the star of a movie that doesn’t have a director.

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WHY I LOST FAITH IN HUMANITY AFTER GOING TO A FULL MOON PARTY Shawn Cleaver | Illustration by Tyler Hinde Imagine the wildest, most bitchin’ night ever at your favourite club. Take that party, add another 30 000 people, and let them loose all over a never-ending tropical beach. Sprinkle a few flame dancers, slides, and burning skipping ropes. Subtract the price of alcohol, and double the quantity. Finally, subtract everyone’s tops. Now you have a Full Moon Party.

A lot of horror stories get thrown around, but both FMP’s I’ve been to have been absolutely amazing nights. I only felt bad for the people around me, who discovered just how uncoordinated dancing can get.

However, a certain experience cut my faith in humanity right down the middle. It wasn’t during the party, or even the hangover, but catching a boat.

Quick geography lesson, most people fly to Koh Samui then make their way to the smaller island of Koh Phangan by boat for the FMP. After the party, there are thousands of people who need to get back to Koh Samui. This creates a huge demand for ferries after the FMP, but nother prepared me for just how hard getting on one of them was going to be.

It felt like it was the last boat out of a war-torn dystopia. There were babies crying, people shoving, staff yelling, “I don’t want anyone to die!” There were hundreds of us waiting on the pier for hours in the rain with all our bags; it was far from a comfortable experience. But just how aggressive people got was a stellar contrast to how friendly they were at the FMP a few nights back.

But take away their comforts and make it either you or them, that’s when things get interesting.

The same people that would happily share a bucket of moonshine with you while dancing the night away won’t think twice about rolling over your toes with their oversize suitcase to secure their place on the boat, while denying yours. Everyone’s attitude towards each other on the boat was best summed up by something I overheard a lady say to her partner: “People are so fucking retarded.”

All my life I’ve tried to see the best in people. I assume they are friendly and polite, unless proven otherwise.

I think generally, people really do mean well. If one of those angry passengers had seen someone fall into the water, no doubt they’d have tried to help, alerted the crew, etc. But take away their comforts and make it either you or them, that’s when things get interesting.

If you are not sure whether you would become an angry passenger or not, ask yourself this: either your mum, or 100 people you’ve never met have to die.

Which would you choose?

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I’M GLUTEN FREE Reegan Hill My all time favourite food used to be KFC. The last time I ever ate it was two weeks away from learning I was never going to eat it again.

You see, my mum and several of my siblings had just confirmed they had coeliac disease. The easiest way to describe it is to say “gluten intolerant”, but sadly, it’s also the best way to give people the absolute wrong idea of you.

I grew up eating whatever I wanted, most of it was pastry or some sort of wheat-based product. I grew up almost unable to gain weight, which, to be honest, was awesome. It wasn’t because I had a fast metabolism, it was because I wasn’t gaining nutrients. The down part was I always felt a little unwell; it was normal in my family to feel a little queasy, or always hungry. Now I can’t go out for lunch anymore without checking beforehand if I can go to the café my friends want, and I can’t get fast food because it is usually a gluten-based product. It doesn’t stop there though; coeliac disease can also make you sensitive to dairy, soy and sugars. I can’t have dairy, and I avoid sugar as much as possible because both make me feel just as bad as gluten does. Luckily, I can still eat soy.

I remember when my mum was trying to get a diagnosis. She was told to eat as much gluten as she possibly could for three weeks. At this time, I was unaware of what it was doing to me, so I was all for it. We had breads, pies and battered everything, as much wheat, barley, and rye as we could. By the third day, I was not happy at all. When the three weeks were over, I binged on vegetables and anything green I could get my hands on, especially cucumber, it soothed my stomach more than any medicines could.

My snack is usually fries for about two dollars, which could potentially make me sick as the oil used to cook them could have been contaminated with a battered snack beforehand.

Besides the inconvenience of restricted food, living with coeliac disease can be incredibly costly. Let me walk you through a day in my shoes, eating my food, and having a look at how much it’ll cost you.

Breakfast: Two pieces of gluten free toast – one loaf is about $8.40 right now, it’s also half the size of those one dollar loafs you can get from Countdown. Usually I have a vegetable or leftovers on my toast, but never marmite; it’s full of gluten.

I can’t have dairy, and I avoid sugar as much as possible because both make me feel just as bad as gluten does.

Coffee/Snack: My coffee costs around the $4.50 mark. For a medium flat white you’ll have to add 50 cents for soymilk, which has to be gluten free- most aren’t, they’ll have pearl barley.

My snack is usually fries for about two dollars, which could potentially make me sick as the oil used to cook them could have been contaminated with a battered snack beforehand.

Lunch: This one is easy, I’ll have a salad. But wait! The dressing could have gluten or milk. Unless there is a chart for me to read, I have to ask if it’s okay, most people don’t even understand what I’m trying to ask them. And usually a salad is around the seven dollar mark.

Coffee: Now you see why I need another coffee, this having to check my food all the time business is hard. Add another 50 cents for soymilk to the price of coffee.

Dinner: Let’s say I’m lazy and I don’t cook my dinner, I’ll get pizza or a burger. I can only get pizza from Hells - they’re the only place I can get dairy free cheese. It’s called Angel Food and is made from sunflowers.

An average gluten free pizza is around twenty dollars after adding the extra for gluten free and dairy free options. If I wanted a burger, I’d have to find a Burger Fuel because that’s the only place I can get a gluten and dairy free burger. An average burger there is around fifteen dollars, after adding two dollars for gluten free buns.

There is a gross inequity for anyone with any sort of disease related to food. I joke about it being my motivation to get a higher paying job. It’s an allergy that’s been made fashionable by all those people who try it out as a diet. Which, I might add, is actually dangerous, dieting by going gluten free means that you could actually become deficient in minerals and a lot of nutrients your body is used to getting. Even as someone who has to avoid gluten and dairy, I have to take vitamins, especially iron supplements, to stay healthy. I would love to see the day my bread will cost me a dollar, and soymilk isn’t added as an extra to my coffee. The only time I don’t have to check my food for gluten is when I am at home.

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IN SHORT

Wet Substance Continues To Fall From The Sky Kieran Bennett

A strange, clear, wet substance has, for the past two weeks, fallen from the sky much to the confusion and anger of the general populace.

For the past four months, the weather across the country has been what many described as “warm” or even “pretty comfortable”. However over the last three weeks, temperatures have been steadily dropping and the average moisture content of the ground has been increasing. In addition to this, the average moisture content of the outside of clothes has been increasing.

Many experts are saying that this is due to the, as of yet, unidentified substance falling from the sky.

The public has expressed outrage at the substance, calling on the government to take action. Many feel that the inclement weather accompanying the substance is the cause and a group has formed to fund the construction of a large covering over New Zealand.

Many scientists around the country are expressing confusion about the substance, saying that they have never seen anything like it before. One scientist spoke to media and said that he felt the substance was unnatural. “It’s wet, it’s cold and it’s something that we’re totally unfamiliar with. To be honest, if it doesn’t go away soon, we have to just bomb the entire country, make sure it doesn’t spread” was the view of one expert.

The government has agreed and will be bathing the country in nuclear fire shortly.

DOC Conservation Land to Be Downsized Kieran Bennett

efforts in cleaning toilets have been commended, it has been pointed out that the number of native species facing extinction has risen over the years. The government has decided that as DOC is unable to maintain or improve conservation levels, their area of responsibility will be downgraded to a small garden of succulents in Helensville.

Speaking to reporters, Minister of Conservation Maggie Barry said that this decision was the one that best suited the country.

She said that DOC had proved they weren’t up to the task by the way they couldn’t handle having their funding cut year after year.

“Look, DOC has been falling for years and we’ve tried to revitalise them by cutting their funding and it’s not working. Now we’ll just take their responsibility away from them and see how that goes” Minister Barry went on to say.

In light of recent criticism around the Department of Conservation being unable to maintain its current national parks, the government has announced it will be reducing the size of DOC’s land to that of a small succulent garden.

In recent weeks, DOC has faced heavy criticism for not squeezing every dollar and doing more work with less money. While their

The national parks that DOC previously managed professionally will now be looked after by an unreliable, unpaid and inexperienced army of volunteers; a move that Minister Barry has applauded. When asked if she thought that perhaps DOC might be better suited to the task, the minister said that all New Zealanders needed to do their bit to look after “that green shit”, and that the government would be ensuring that the volunteers would have the “required support”. But not, she clarified any actual money.

DOC is reportedly very happy with their succulent garden and the toilets are regarded as some of the cleanest in Helensville.

New-look AUT security Lara Posa The AUT security team are decked out in new uniforms this week and are recognisable by their pale blue polo t-shirts and brightly coloured orange reflective jackets. Although not up for any design awards the new uniforms are timely, coinciding with a new security phone number and a new night time security contractor.

The new uniforms are worn by the AUT security guards during the day and also by the First Security contractors who now patrol the campuses from 7pm to 7am every night.

Security can be reached on 0800 AUT SAFE and is free from mobiles for students. Use the new security number if you: -

Need to report lost or stolen property

-

See any suspicious behaviour on campus

-

Have any minor security concerns

Do not use it in an emergency. In an emergency always dial 111.

Competition Winners Congrats to the cute and adorable students who entered our Sex Issue’s Date Package competition. Our winner took away a Lone Star voucher, two tickets to Rainbows End, and two student cards for them and their special someone. We couldn’t resist sharing their “Most Romantic” story and a few runner ups with y’all.

First Place “Well, it was with my to-be girlfriend. I was studying in Australia and secretly bought a plane ticket, and when I arrived, I went and skyped her outside her place. We did the whole movie running to each other hug thing. T’was adorable. Best money ever spent.”

Honourable Mentions

WORK & PLAY

USA

“The most romantic thing I’ve ever had done for me was when I turned 18. My birthday is on Valentine’s Day, so my boyfriend surprised me and gave me 18 roses when the sun started to set on the boot of his car down by Mission Bay Beach.”

“The most romantic thing I’ve ever done, earlier this year AuSM had the Rocky Horror night and I quite fancied the lead actor, Rocky. So I wrote on a piece of newspaper handed out to the crowd “Is Rocky allowed coffee? McKay *phone number*” and as he walked past me in the break, I said “Hey, here’s some fan mail”. After texting throughout the week, I took him to the Botanist at City Works Depot and then bowling (which he beat me at, bastard!). After that, he still had time to kill so we headed to Albert Park and cuddled under the trees listening to music that I was introducing him to.”

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CALL TOLL FREE 0800 443 769

Mollies Hotel Closes but Brand Name May Continue Hayley Stevenson

will base our new hotel as we ourselves are not certain yet.”

Mollies Boutique Hotel in St. Marys Bay is reverting back to a family home after being sold for $10.9 million to new owners.

Steven Colhart’s wife, Bernadette, shares the role of director at the hotel.

Former Mayor of Auckland Archibald Clark resided at the homestead in the 1870s, before the household become a convent, and later a gentleman’s boarding house.

The hotel was originally owned by the Wilson family in the 1960s, named after Frances Wilson’s mother, Mollie.

“Frances came back from teaching opera in New York using Mollies Hotel as a place to teach her students, also employing them to work there. They often performed prior to dinner,” said managing director of Mollies Steven Colhart.

“Currently Mollies Hotel employs eight to nine staff and the 12 rooms range from $695 for the junior suite, the premiere suite is $875 and the Mollies suite is $1075.

“We still own the domain name for Mollies and all we need is an IT person to connect the name with our new venture and it can be carried on.

“The likelihood of the legacy of the name being continued is on the cards but at present we cannot comment on where we

“The oldest trust in New Zealand, The Lewis Eddy Charitable Trust, has recently had pianists play here. Late last year Delta Goodrem put on an intimate performance showcasing her new single Wings,” said Bernadette Colhart.

Bernadette and Steven shared an unusual experience recently with a very famous guest at the hotel. The performer’s child travelled with them, but became sick with a stomach issue during their stay.

“The performer, who managed to stay five days with no one knowing, requested we supply a paediatrician to visit the hotel urgently or they would not go on stage, despite the huge financial loss this may cause,” said Bernadette.

“Thankfully we found a general practitioner at short notice, the child was assessed and the performer was reassured it was nothing serious and decided the show must go on.

“Mollies Hotel prides themselves on discretion with their guests, which is one of the reasons why celebrities choose to stay here.”

Operations manager Kevin Cloudmarr, who has been one of the longest serving staff members, said high profile guests have been one of the pleasures working in the hotel.

“Rachel Hunter has always been a loyal guest and is a fantastic ambassador to New Zealand,” said Cloudmarr.

“Americans associate New Zealand with Rachel Hunter. Past guests have included Dawn French, Gordon Ramsay, Bollywood actor Sidharth Malhotra, and music artists Beyonce and Jay-Z. “I trained at The International Hotel Management Institute in Neuchatel Switzerland and at The Blue Mountain International Hotel Management School in Sydney and was groomed to be a top manager.

“I have actually been part of the woodwork for six years, which is longer than the Colharts who have leased the Hotel and run it for two years.”

With Mollies Boutique Hotel closing in April Steven said they would like to take some current staff with them on their new venture.

“We would love to take staff like Kevin with us as he has been with Mollies when it was part of the Relais & Châteaux collection of boutique hotels including Huka Lodge.”

3AM THOUGHTS

“you get one” is ambiguous and fun. I mean, one what? What do I get? Do I get one barbecue? That would make a little sense and at the very least, advance this shoddy analysis a tad further.

Sometimes our sub-editor, Amelia Petrovich, likes to wake herself up at 3am, record the first thought that comes to her head, and share it with the world.

So if “eleven twelve” is code for “you get one”, then the whole statement reads “you get one and barbecues.wpils.be great”, which really just means all we have left to decide is if ‘wpils’ is a misspell of ‘will’ or an abbreviation of ‘with pilsner’, which is less likely but way more fun, so I’ll take that one.

May 26th, 3:00am “Eleven twelve and barbecues.wpils.be great” Your thumbs get clunky at 3am, spacebar keys become full stops and vice-versa, there’s absolutely nothing to be done about it.

Apart from my fumbly thumbs though (fthumbs?); this sentence of course makes no goddamn sense.

I don’t normally mention numbers in my early morning musings though, probably because numbers and I don’t really mix well. I feel like maybe for something to exist in your deep subconscious it needs to be at least slightly present in your everyday life. I spend a lot of time making sure numbers and any kind of equation stay the fuck out of my life. I got thrown into Maths 101 in year eleven to measure angles in triangles and grab my numeracy credits and then I dropped the subject altogether. Even in later life, I’ve gravitated as far from numbers as possible, in fact I gravitated straight into Comms where a ‘numeracy test’ is a few questions asking how you’d write ‘100%’ in words.

Even so, I feel like the presence of numbers in this particular 3am thought means that some form of rudimentary mathematics could be required. If you add eleven and twelve you get twenty three, but if you subtract eleven from twelve you get one. I’m going to go with subtraction to help decipher this thought purely because the phrase

Wow, this whole sleepy thought has just become an “Amelia picks the fun stuff she feels like” game. More aspects of life should be like that.

Anyway, now we’ve got “you get one and barbecues with pilsner will be great,” which sounds a lot like someone reassuring somebody else about a weird as hell cocktail where they maybe get a free sample.

Like, person one goes “I don’t know man, I’m not sure outdoor appliances should be infused with beer…”

And then their friends is like “Relax dude, you get one.”

Then they’re all, “…for free?”

“Yeah man, and barbecues with pilsner will be great!”

Then I imagine the second person getting a hearty clap on the back and being sent on their merry way over to the appliance/alcohol infusion bar on planet Saturn or wherever shenanigans like that are a cool thing.

I mean, people drink pilsner at barbecues, right? So I suppose a Saturn-esque infusion is just cutting out the middle man and channeling the tastes of a New Zealand summer. Or a Saturn summer. New Zealand Saturn? Whatever.

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COOL SHIT

WIN!

THE CREDIT IS YOURS We’ve got a $50 STA Travel credit to giveaway this week.

STA has exclusive discounts for students, under 31 year olds, and the young at heart! Use this credit to help fund your next getaway, whether it be flights, accommodation, or tours! To be in to win, email lbarks@aut.ac.nz with your name, campus, and funny travel story!

SMOOTHIE SKIN THE STILLNESS Pacific Heights recently released the highly anticipated album, The Stillness via Warner Music NZ. The release follows on from the world first play of the new single, Breath and Bone, on Zane Lowe’s Beats 1 show prior. The mesmerizing track which features upcoming Wellington musician, Deanna Krieg, is the latest single to come from The Stillness. You can purchase this album at https://wmnz.lnk.to/PacificHeightsTheStillnessPR.

Oasis Beauty Fruit Smoothie is a skin smoothing face mask and enzyme scrub designed to effortlessly refresh and renew your skin with a powerful but gentle 3 in 1 action, which helps leave you smooth, soft and glowing skin. It’s a bit of a scrubber, it’s definitely fruity and it has a gentle sucking action that is essential to achieving and maintaining great looking skin. This retails at $39.90 and can be found at selected health stores and pharmacies nationwide, or online at www.oasisbeauty.com.

THE STRANGE AND WONDERFUL INVESTMENTS OF THE WEEK

Kurt Schmidt This week we explore the new generation of martial arts, technology that helps food snobs be even fussier, and how to put anything on the mobile web.

These are my top three venture capital investment picks of the week.

DOJO-MADNESS / $4.5M SERIES A Dojo-madness is making people go mad! And when I mean people, what I really mean is investors. Founded in early 2015, Dojo-madness just one year has already positioned itself with a market valuation of 20 million USD. Now that’s some big dosh! So why is it so mad? Well it’s the equivalent of telling your mum that you’re quitting uni to become a professional gamer, oh and that in your delusion of grandeur that you’re also going to become a millionaire from it. And guess what? This is exactly what the co-founders of Dojo-madness did. They are the Bruce Lee four inch punch dojo senseis of the video gaming world. The reason these black belt masters are worth 20 million is because they are building the next generation of tools for helping gamers master their play. It’s no laughing matter, it’s not a joke, it’s just straight up the best way to master Lol.

NIMA / $9.2M SERIES A Are you a food snob? Perfect! Because now you can be even more vocal about your gluten intolerance, unproven milk, grain or other food allergy. Nima is your amplifier in a world where

being fussy is hard. I bet you’re sick of having to read menus or ask waiters about what’s in the food? Great! Because now you don’t have to. With Nima you just order your food and insert a small piece of it into your one time use $20 disposable food analyser, if there are 20ppm or more of your targeted danger particles Nima will tell you it’s unsuitable to eat with a simple frowny face L. Now when you order your chicken Caesar salad with nuts and croutons, Nima can safely show you whether it contains any meat, gluten, milk or peanuts.

HOLOGRAM / $4.8M SERIES A Hologram is a mobile network service provider that operates in 100 different countries who have created a product that helps you connect anything with wireless mobile data. Their development kits allow users to hook up any hardware to communicate with their in-house simcards. The possibilities are endless, match this with an Arduino or Raspberry Pi and your DIY project could be the next big thing.

And there you have it. You can now reduce your risk of ingesting pesky allergens, which is great because with your newly obtained black belt in video gaming you have to be at peak health. Oh and don’t forget to add wireless communication to your Nima, because what’s the point of having just the restaurant hear your complaints, you need the whole world to hear your totally justified gen Y remonstrations.

15

Health Our New Currency Jeremy Roundill

I started studying at Waikato in 2010 and stayed in the halls in my first year, paying $225 per week which included a room, power and food. I moved into my first flat in 2011, rent was $100 per week and we lived right across the road from university.

The cheapest flat I had there was $75/ week rent. In Auckland, $100 per week rent is a pipe dream, even living an hour commute out of town. The rents are close to double of those in Hamilton, and the living conditions are far worse.

Living in Auckland is a compromise between health and affordability. We pay a huge amount of our weekly income just making sure we have a roof over our heads. And even when we do find a house, it’s likely to be an unhealthy place to live. Black mould is commonplace, rental properties are barely maintained. In Auckland, it’s not unusual for a house to cost anywhere between $20,000 and $50,000 a year in rent, which is a lot to pay for minimal maintenance.

Auckland’s rental market is largely different to other rental markets around Aotearoa. Our rents are hugely disproportionate to what we get in return.

This is because the market has failed to produce the number of homes we require.

As such, there are far more renters than available houses in Auckland. The shortage of housing means we operate in a sellers’ market, where landlords have more strength in bargaining. The only limits to how much they can charge us for rent are how much money we have.

Landlords have no motivation to make sure we’re living in safe houses. Their rental properties are no more than investments to them, they purchase these properties to profit from the capital gains accrued each year. Our landlords are motivated only to bleed us dry. We are disempowered as renters; we can’t

complain when our landlords breach tenancy law with unexpected visits, when they ask us for six week’s rent as bond, or when they illegally hike up the rent.

If we do, we’re likely to end up with a bad reference or evicted from the house.

The power dynamic is far skewed to the benefit of landlords. A clear example is that they can terminate a fixed term tenancy with 90 days notice, however the tenant has to effectively go bankrupt and prove they are unable to pay rent in order to terminate the same tenancy.

Landlords have no motivation to make sure we’re living in safe houses.

To top all of this off, those rental properties earn our landlords more than the average family in capital gains each year. For those who can afford it, investment property is a real cash cow.

Capital gains in Auckland are so huge that there is a significant sector of the property investment market which purchases houses and leaves them empty.

So called “land banking” contributes to the housing shortfall in Auckland, which further drives up rent prices.

For years tenants have pushed for comprehensive capital gains taxes and warrants of fitness for housing, but are shot down by the property owning lobby every time. Our death rates increase drastically in winter, at least partly

because of our sub-standard housing.

Landlords have a vested interest in convincing us that taxing them and forcing them to make sure their rentals are warm and healthy are bad ideas.

Both of these things reduce the profit they make. Investment properties have that name because their purpose is to generate profit.

Landlords make us sick by not insulating houses. They take more out of our food budget every time they hike up the rent.

They charge us exorbitant prices for the human right of shelter. We are overcharged and under-housed, and we are shot down every time we try to solve this problem. The reason for this is that the problem is not due to today’s landlords, but rather because it is systemic. It’s in the best interest of landlords to ignore the social problems caused by their practices.

We neglect heating every winter, with rent taking priority over power bills. We suffer a much higher rate of sickness in autumn and winter due to cold, damp and mouldy houses. We eat cheap, unhealthy food so we can afford exorbitant rents.

Even as rent increases year after year, even as living conditions deteriorate and we’re forced to crowd as many people in a house as we can to afford rent, we keep paying.

We pay our rent with our health.

This doesn’t have to be the case. We can change the system.

Student Housing Action Group (SHAG) is a group of students who are fed up with the current housing situation in Auckland.

SHAG realises the housing situation is failing to provide healthy, secure, and affordable housing, and they fight for systemic change.

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Disgruntled Woman and The Pockets That Are Never Real Amelia Petrovich Harry Potter couldn’t have been a girl.

I don’t care what you say, I don’t care how brave, intelligent and selfless females can be, the character of Harry had to be male from the get-go.

To understand why however, we need to look not to his personal traits or even to the scar on his forehead, but down lower to the level of his gawky white boy hips… …pockets. Harry Potter always had pockets.

I’ll admit, it was a little understated in the books themselves, but actually Harry’s most defining asset and seemingly innate advantage was due to the fact that he had functional pockets.

The guy was tearing shit out of them all the time.

Philosopher’s stones, marauder’s maps, resurrection

stones, you name it, whatever it was it bloody fit in Harry’s hot lil pocket.

Women on the other hand, even incredible witches like Hermione Granger, are hardly ever equipped with pockets at all. I mean it, in the last book it was Hermione that carried most of the crew’s junk as they searched for horcruxes, but what did she end up lugging it all around in?

A bag. A freakin’ bag because neither Topshop nor H&M could kit her London-based ass out in a pair of functional fucking jeans.

As you probably know, this issue isn’t isolated to the wizarding world alone. Women’s clothing in our own consumer spaces are just as bloody useless. Not only does the women’s fashion industry seem to have an aversion to pockets entirely, they’re also sadistic and enjoy providing their target demographic with fake ones. You know, so you can get all excited about

having somewhere to put your EFTPOS card like the big boys do and then have your hopes instantly crushed. Really fun shit!

I’d normally be quick to blame contemporary consumerism, because maybe an omission of pockets is a ploy to make us all buy nifty bags like Hermione, but in actual fact this bullshit has been quietly chugging away for ages.

But then, because wartime women loved wearing trousers so much this became #fashion and the #fashion industry figured it was their place to make a shitload more trousers that were more #fashion. This of course meant slimming the things down again and abolishing pockets. Thus a piece of clothing, popular for its functionality, became less functional as it became more functional.

But none of this really explains why the pocket fiasco still hasn’t been corrected.

Not only does the women’s fashion industry seem to have an aversion to pockets entirely, they’re also sadistic and enjoy providing their target demographic with fake ones.

Way back in the 1700s, ladies, people who dressed ladies and people who used to dress like ladies all loved the idea of pockets. Barbara Burman, author of Pockets of History: The Secret Life of an Everyday Object, says that most women would have a hanging pocket under their skirts or petticoats that they’d access through sneaky slits.

People loved these pockets so much that they’d embroider and embellish them, making them “meaningful pieces of clothing” in their own right.

Shit really turned south in the 1800s though.

All of a sudden, rich people decided that dresses were supposed to look slimmer and that, because a wealthy women didn’t need her hands to do work at all, she could easily carry a “reticule” (or early form of handbag) instead.

Thanks heaps rich European ladies.* The 1900s were a period in the history of the pocket that could have been awesome, but wasn’t.

As this period in history saw a lot of world wars, women turned their attention to functional clothing and wound up wearing a lot of men’s trousers which they loved because these had pockets and everyone felt like they could finally be Harry Potter.

If the pocket and its use changed due to societal need throughout history, then surely this right now is a point at which it should change again. I surround myself with leftist thinkers so I never really know exactly how progressive society is becoming, but talk of gender neutrality in the fashion world kinda suggests that clothes should not be one thing for a man, one thing for a woman, and nothing in between. A guy sauntering into a meeting can chuck his phone, pen and wallet in his suit pocket, but someone in women’s clothing must either hold all their stuff in hand or use a big ol’ “HEY LOOK EVERYONE I IDENTIFY AS FEMININE” bag.

The Atlantic had a chat a while back to fashion Camilla Olson, who said that although pockets in women’s clothing are a “reasonable thing”, they’re often located in a “problem” area.

Apparently pockets can create an unsightly bulge around the hips that western women aren’t into, but if that’s true then how about we just make pockets not around the waist?

Maybe my understanding of clothes design isn’t all that strong, but as a consumer and lover of pockets I just reckon this whole thing deserves a little bit more thought.

Hermione and her carry-all bag is pretty cool, but what if I want to be The Boy Who Lived Too? Or at the very least, The Girl Who Had Pockets That Worked.

I want a little bit more pocket magic, I think that’s what it boils down to. *I should probably add that this whole historical explanation is grossly Euro-centric. Other cultures, I feel, may have had better sense.

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Going tea distance

Julie Cleaver

I love tea. No seriously, I really love tea.

Holding a steaming mug of deliciousness between my palms is meditatively calming.

Tea helps me settle down and relax and reflect on all that is good about life. Plus every evening after dinner my mother and I drink tea together and talk about our day.

It’s a small ritual, but one that adds warmth and meaning to my existence.

That’s the power of tea. It’s so more than just a few leaves and spices combined with boiling water. It’s a ceremonial concoction that’s deeply ingrained in many different cultures all over the world. In fact people love tea so much there have literally been wars over the stuff. People’s relationship with tea says a lot about who they are and where they come from, which is why I interviewed people from all over the world to find out what tea means to them.

India Tea is by far the most popular drink in India. The thick concoction of sugar, spices and milk called chai is consumed almost everywhere in the country. Whether you’re waiting for a train or walking down the street, you can guarantee there will be a chai walla offering you a warm cup of goodness.

AUT student, Joy Ravela, says chai is always served when guests come over “no questions asked”. She said herbal and black tea is simply not a thing in India, and chai is consumed like energy drinks. She said chai is not made by a kettle but over a stove, and there is usually more milk than water.

Although her family doesn’t drink a lot of chai now as “the New Zealand cafe versions are nothing like the original”, when she is in India, tea was a very important part of her

day. “In India we would wake up and lounge around and drink tea. And after work, my uncles would home and there’d be tea waiting for them. It’s quite nice because it takes a good 10-15min to wait for it to cool down. And you slowly sip it because it’s packed with a lot of flavour and sugar. So there’s room for conversation,” she said.

England Perhaps one of the reasons India is so big on tea is because of England. However, now India is one of the reasons the Brits can enjoy black tea morning, afternoon and night, as they are one of the countries biggest suppliers.

Regardless, the English have always been big tea drinkers. Pre 18th century it was a drink for the upper class, but since then it spread to the middle, and now tea is their second largest national icon (after Emma Watson, of course).

Chris Dighton is a scientist from England.

He says for him “tea is everything”.

“Whenever we popped round to grandma’s when we were young, tea always meant biscuits and stories. If someone comes round for a visit, a mate, parents, your landlord, builders, plumbers, tea is just

food (we believe oolong tea promotes to break down fats) and green tea with sushi (green tea kills some bacteria in gut). In any convenience store in Japan, there are so many kinds of tea and usually people buy a bottle of tea instead of water when thirsty (all of the tea is unsweetened). Also

said, “tea means my life isn’t falling apart”.

And Elilee Josephine said to her, tea means “comfort when I am hung over”.

always offered before you get on with the actual topic at hand,” he continued, “If it’s a rainy day, tea is there, something to look forward to when you get in. It’s a necessary crutch to get through the day, most places of work have it freely available. And there’s nothing better than a cup of brown joy out of your favourite mug.”

if you go to restaurant, tea or water, or both are served for free because tea is a very common drink,” said Rina.

Spiritual, healing, and communal are words I would use to sum up the purpose of tea for the indigenous people of Aotearoa.

Kawakawa in particular is a popular choice for its natural healing properties. Taonui Schmidt says, “Kawakawa is a medicinal herb with anti-inflammatory properties to me it means good health and should be consumed with your tribal people around”.

Beautifully said, Mr Dighton (*Darcy).

Japan Like India, tea or ocha is the most common drink in Japan – green tea being the flavour of choice. Tea is also a central aspect of Japanese culture in a traditional and everyday sense. Historically tea is prepared and drunk in a special way. This practice was crafted by Zen Buddhism and is known as the tea ceremony. Many Japanese take classes to learn how to do the tea ceremony if they want to connect with their roots.

If you’re not into the traditions, like Rina Fugiwara, tea is still extremely important.

Rina says that for her, “tea is just like water, like French people drink wine instead of water”.

“In Japanese houses, tea is stored in fridge and ready to drink anytime. I used to drink mugi-cha (this tea is most common in Japanese house I think) in summer, hojicha in winter, oolong tea while eating oily

New Zealand European Tea used to be the number one choice of beverage in New Zealand – perhaps unsurprisingly considering where our colonising cousins came from. However, in the 90s the rise of the café culture killed the black tea star, and now coffee is the most consumed hot beverage here.

BUT we still drink a lot of tea, and not just black tea either. Whether it’s a green tea with lemon or an overpriced concoction from T2, people love to sip all sorts of flavours.

Sophie Smith is an AUT student who lives for tea. She says she drinks a specific one at specific times. “There’s honestly a tea for every situation. If you’re sad, have a nice sweet milky chai. If you’re feeling bloated, have a peppermint! If you’re needing to start winding down for the night a good chamomile does the trick, and for a healthy revitalizing start to the day have a green tea! Amazing!” She then said with a chuckle, “I sound like I’m on a tea commercial!”

(A note of honesty: this piece was NOT sponsored by any tea corporations).

Additionally, New Zealander, Michaela Loye,

New Zealand Māori

To make the tea pick leaves from a kawakawa tree (which are everywhere) then boil them in a pot of hot water. The leaves with the most holes/insect bites are the best, as Taonui says, “the bugs have a choice of the whole tree, so they’re going to go for the most tasty leaves”.

Taonui also says for him, drinking kawakawa is spiritual. “We made a word up to embody what it means to us, it’s called “ubaka” pronounced ew-ba-ka, which means you become me. It talks about how your food will eventually become the cells in your body so you are essentially what you eat and what you eat will become you.”

To conclude, tea is so much more than just a drink. It’s a cultural symbol – a practice that shapes and is shaped by groups of people over time. Other than tools and fire, culture is basically the only thing we have that differentiates us from wild animals, making it beautiful and inherently human.

But that’s enough about tea – time to go make a cuppa.

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THE BALL DRESS SAGA A rolling cycle of oppression

Julie Cleaver High school balls are a big deal – like a really big deal. In the months leading up to my one the conversations I had with my friends were totally dominated by ball-related topics. Who your date was or wasn’t going to be, the coolness or lameness of the theme, and most importantly, what sparkly/shiny/colourful piece of material each person would CHOOSE to wrap their body in.

Away from the strict uniform code that dictated our normal school days, the ball was the one night of the year we could really express ourselves in front of our peers. It was magical and freeing – an evening to truly revel in our inner and outer beauty. So when I heard about St Dominic’s College and their new archaic and discriminatory ball dress code, I got a little angry. And by a little, I mean really, really fuckin’ angry. However, as a former student of the school, I must say I’m not

surprised.

You’ve probably heard about this already, but in case you didn’t, a petition was recently created online opposing the new ball dress code the West Auckland schools principal put in place. The petition (which has nearly reached 7000 signatures) stated the girls were told that: -

of these policies to the media, the creator of the petition says they are undeniably 100 percent true. The students were told these rules at an assembly, and one girl I know personally has confirmed these statements are correct. Although the school motto is Veritas, meaning truth, the principal has been accused of lying to the entire nation.

No dress could be worn if there was a split higher than their knee

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The back of the dress could not be lower than the armpit

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Any cleavage AT ALL is forbidden

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Girls must keep their shoes on the entire night

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Only serious partners are allowed to attend as dates

Although the Catholic school’s principal Mrs Carol Coddington denied the existence

There is so much wrong with these 18th century guidelines I don’t even know where to begin. I guess I’ll start with one that I thought was unrealistically ridiculous until someone explained it to me, which is the shoe policy. I thought St Dom’s were trying to shame women for not being able to live up to an already unjust standard, but apparently they made that rule as they had issues with girls stepping on glass in the past. It seems to have been coming from a caring place, but coupled with all the other whacky rules, it still seems a bit odd.

Then there’s the dress code, a decision Family First said was a step in the right direction, which shows how wrong it is more than anything else. Although St Dom’s probably had the girls best interests at heart, telling them to cover their skin when they do not wish to is overt oppression.

Many New Zealander’s I know look down on countries like Saudi Arabia for the strict laws they enforce on women, however this stunt doesn’t make NZ seem much different. The school may argue that they are ‘upholding a standard’, but what is that standard? A standard that tells women to hide their flesh as no matter what their bodies are sexual objects that will undeniably attract unwanted attention? A standard that’s answer to sexual assault is “well, we told them that dress was too skanky”? The slut shaming debate is so old, St Dom’s, surely we’ve all moved beyond that hideously flawed argument by now. Surely.

It’s not completely their fault that they exist in an extremely flawed society. One that tells women they need to be beautiful in order to thrive then calls them whores for trying to achieve that.

However, in saying that, I do have to take it a little easier on St Dominic’s College.

It’s not completely their fault that they exist in an extremely flawed society.

One that tells women they need to be beautiful in order to thrive then calls them whores for trying to achieve that. Or one that shames and blames victims for having a crime committed against them.

No, it’s not St Dominic’s fault. Actually it’s not any one specific school or group’s fault. However, it is the fault of a combination of groups. Groups like the media, the justice system, and schools in general are all to blame. So even though it’s not entirely their responsibility, they are still part of the problem.

To end on a personal anecdote, I attended St Dominic’s College for one year and one year only. Even though my two older sisters graduated from the school and loved it, after the first week I knew it wasn’t for me. Although the girls I met were amazing, I had some serious issues with the school culture. One problem I had was with the ridiculously strict uniform code. It was so regimented, sometimes we were asked to kneel in the hallways to see if our skirts touched the floor. Personally I think being told to kneel by a male teacher is far more inappropriate than wearing a ball dress with cleavage. That is all.

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Small Story, Big Painting Chantelle Cullen Imagine having the ability to express your feelings through paint; dipping your brush into a swirl of reds and blues and greens. Dripping the paint down your front as the colours are brought to life, experiencing the feeling of relief as the weight of emotions is lifted piece by piece off you with every stroke. Every time you pull a new canvas out, there’s the sight of pure white, and the thought of endless possibilities of art that could be created.

Artists are people too. Living their lives, working hard and paying bills. We spend our youth studying art in school and admire rich people who can afford the best and most expensive artwork. Artists live through loads of criticism and insults of their work, as well as praise and desire.

The rollercoaster of emotions they ride throughout their career based on other people’s opinions can have a huge impact on their mental health.

Famous artists such as William De Kooning, Andy Warhol and Vincent Van Gogh are

all people that we recognize, whether it’s their art or their name. But so many people miss the stories behind their work. We hear about celebrities and the antics they get up to, and the sweet stories that happen with them, but we hear nothing about the ‘behind the canvas’ of painters.

One of my favourite (but unfortunate) small stories about Van Gogh included him eating yellow paint because he thought it would make him happier, it’s rather sweet in its own little way.

William De Kooning was an incredibly famous abstract artist. He had trouble finishing his paintings, couldn’t decide when a good time to finish his work would be. This became a problem, with paintings taking longer and longer, never truly

feeling finished. One day a good friend of his told him to simply paint a door somewhere in his work. So whenever you see pieces of his work, keep an eye out for an abstract door.

‘Close one door and another opens.’ Doors obviously play a huge role in rooms.

Edward Hopper used to paint people and rooms, but didn’t paint exit doors for his rooms. For instance, in his most famous painting Nighthawk (1942), we see a door to the kitchen but not to exit the building.

The people in the shot were modelled by Hopper and his wife, but the painting has been spoofed loads of times since, with popular characters’ faces edited over the top.

Mockery of artists isn’t in a shortage. We have artist Andy Warhol whose art style gets mocked constantly, with people using his style to create famous figures in art.

Joke’s on them though, Warhol’s whole art style is based around mockery of the art system. He used mass production in his art, and prints of popular brands and products.

His most famous mass production being

soup cans. Warhol said; ‘I should have just done the Campbell’s soups and kept doing them….because everybody only does one painting anyway.’ Which is a true statement, let’s be honest. His work with mass producing expanded to mass printing of multiple pictures of car wrecks and electric chairs; something frowned upon greatly when by itself, but once he had multiplied the images on a canvas, the pictures seemed to desensitize the public a bit.

Van Gogh on the other hand had a short life, after he failed to commit suicide in 1890 (aged 37) by shooting himself in the stomach. He died two days later because the wound got infected. He began his life in the art community and learned many art techniques throughout his life, although he only sold one of his paintings while he was alive. Some of his pieces are now worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. Near the end of his life, he admitted himself into an asylum where he painted while he could.

This is when he painted his most famous piece, The Starry Night. It was his view from his window, but the village you see in his

painting doesn’t actually exist. One of my favourite (but unfortunate) small stories about Van Gogh included him eating yellow paint because he thought it would make him happier, it’s rather sweet in its own little way.

The feeling that a piece can give off once you have learned about the history behind it can be mesmerizing, leaving the viewer staring at it for ages.

Like Vincent Van Gogh, Jackson Pollock used his art to escape reality. His paintings were huge, lying the canvas on the ground and using his whole body to lean over it and drip thick paint all over. He wasn’t a very good example of a decent human being - he reportedly cheated on his wife with a mistress. But the thought of somebody losing track of time and self

simply with the use of a lot of paint and brushes is incredible.

We all fall in love with different art styles at some point in our lives. The artist poured their feelings into the canvas, and sometimes the emotions are ones you can relate to. I fell in love with art and its history back in 2013. The feeling that a piece can give off once you have learned about the history behind it can be mesmerizing, leaving the viewer staring at it for ages. The multiple small stories of artists make up one, big and interesting piece of art that is their life.

Artists are such talented people, being able to reveal their soul to the world. The stories they share can be not only inspiring, but can bring hope. We see how far somebody can come in their life, how varied the personalities can be, and how different the reasons behind their work can be.

Use your small stories in life, become an artist and intrigue and mesmerize somebody today.

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90s baby

This week’s editorial is based on recreating the ultimate 90s baby fashion.

Baggy jeans, over-sized knitwear, and bombers.

Image Credits: Cynthia @Unique Model Management H&M: @madeupbyruth Photography & Styling: @Gathum (www.gathum.co.nz) Jeans, Knitted Coat by Nicola Luey, White Ruffle Top by Tia Feng, Bomber by Asos

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REVIEWS

F ULL CREA M CLEA NS E R Oasis Beauty | Cleanser Reviewed by Laurien Barks

I’ve recently given Oasis Beauty’s Full Cream facial cleanser a go when I shower. Being a simple gal, I don’t actually tend to go for a lot of beauty products – I’ve found soap, water, and lotion has worked for me my whole life, why change my routine now?

That being said, I have enjoyed the recent addition of this cleanser to my routine, simply because it’s so moisturising on its own, that on days where I toodle out of the house without slapping some lotion on, I don’t actually notice. Before this cleanser, I’d sit in discomfort on my forgetful days, forced to either borrow lotion from pals, or put up with it until I got home.

My only complaints are the smell of the product – I don’t like it, it’s very mineral-ish, and the fact that other than the moisture, I really haven’t noticed an improvement in my skin quality. I don’t have horrible skin, but I had hopes that some of the odd lumps and bumps would be helped along with the introduction of the cleanser. But it’s worth a try if you like an easy beauty routine.

I know they make a Light Milk version of the cleanser as well for sensitive skin types. It’s a pretty gentle product as is, but better to be safe than sensy!

Aside from changing the genders of the antagonistic neighbours from male to female, there’s nothing really original about Bad Neighbours 2 to differentiate it from the original. Same cast, same basic storyline, even a lot of the same jokes, yet despite the sense of déjà vu, the sequel still manages to delight thanks to the strengths of it cast.

The biggest difference is that there is a feminist undertone to the plot. Zac Efron’s frat boys have been replaced by a sorority led

by Chloe Grace Moretz, who brings together an eclectic group of girls who want to take drugs and party without feeling objectified.

Alongside changing the sexuality of one returning character, the film feels like writers Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg are attempting to make up for the homophobia and sexism from their earlier collaborations, and it gives the film more purpose than just a bunch of dick jokes unlike the original.

BA D NEIGHBOURS 2 Directed Nicholas Stoller Starring Seth Rogen, Rose Byrne, Zac Efron Reviewed by Ethan Sills

The cast works well together, with Rogen and Rose Byrne back as the bad parents from the earlier one. There are times when the jokes feel immature (it is a Seth Rogen movie, after all), but the cast manages to make them work. I only wish they had given Byrne more to do, as she really stole the show last time and more just hangs around this time.

If you’ve seen the first film, you probably don’t need to see this one as well, but it is enjoyable and funny enough to make the return visit to these insane characters worthwhile.

RÜF ÜS BLOOM | POWERSTATION | 26.05.16 Reviewed by Sharleen Shergill

When Aussie band RÜFÜS announced a second show after tickets for their Friday show sold out, I was ecstatic. Dragging a friend who had never heard any of their songs with me, I was pumped and buzzing with excitement. Somehow we managed to get in front and experience the energy of the band up close.

Tyrone (vocals, guitar) started off by mentioning the Auckland rain and how he would try to change that by bringing sunshine into our lives. He did not disappoint. This concert was not for the fainthearted, the lighting was out of this world. It felt like we had all been transported onto another planet where our only mission was to get lost in the music with no other thoughts entering our minds. The only colours that existed were pink, blue, white and yellow in the form of psycho laser lights that danced along to every beat.

We were all in a hypnotized trance by the time the highlight of the encore You Were Right came around. If sunset’s had a sound, they would sound like RÜFÜS. I didn’t want it to end, I couldn’t get enough of RÜFÜS.

EA CH

SO YOU CA

LATER

YBY NOW A L

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LA Y BY THE B

STA TRAVEL QUEEN STREET 267 Queen Street queenst@statravel.com 09 356 1550

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FRUIT PIZZA

•

1 ½ cups sugar

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2 ½ cups flour

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½ tsp baking powder

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½ tsp salt

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1 cup, 2 tbsp unsalted butter, softened

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2 tsp vanilla extract

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2 large eggs

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For Frosting:

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350g cream cheese, softened

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½ cup unsalted butter, softened

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1 tsp vanilla

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13/4 cup powdered sugar

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Assorted fresh fruit cut into slices

DIRECTIONS 1) Beat the butter and 1 ½ cups sugar together in a large bowl until fluffy, 3-5 minutes. Add vanilla and eggs and mix until combined. Add the dry ingredients (flour, baking powder, salt) and mix until just combined, about 30 seconds. Chill the dough.

2) Preheat oven to 350. Roll chilled dough into one big cookie and place on a round baking stone. Sprinkle with 2-3 tbsp sugar.

Bake for 17-20 minutes. Let cool; chill in fridge.

3) Mix frosting ingredients together and spread on chilled cookie. Chill again to set and thicken the frosting.

4) Top with fresh fruit. Cut into slices and serve!

ADJECTIVES TO USE INS TEAD OF ‘AWESOME’

Beautiful

Magnificent

Grand

HeartStopping

Breathtaking Impressive

Overwhelming Stunning

Daunting Amazing

HairRaising Astonishing

Imposing Intimidating

Wonderful Wondrous

Thrilling Aweinspiring

Exciting Flashy

S U DOKU

Circle all the words in the wordfind, tear this page out & pop it into the box on the side of the red Debate stands, and you could win a motherflippin’ sweet prize!

Name:

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