GET YOUR MINDSET RIGHT: THE IMPORTANCE OF MENTAL PREPAREDNESS FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

by Asha Dickerson and Harrison Davis 2 Therapist and a Mic

“Marriage is tough!” That’s what most married people will tell you. They say it so much that it can really diminish the attractiveness of marriage. What is marriage anyway? A legally binding contract that requires you to share your assets and space? There’s a ceremony that makes you think twice before leaving a relationship? The truth is, that the answer is different for everyone and because of that, it is important to be sufficiently prepared before entering into a marriage in the first place.

When we say prepared, we are not talking about financially or physically, but being mentally fit is the key. Think about it: Having someone in your space and in your face, finding the need to compromise on issues that were once individual decisions, pushing clothes closer together to make closet space. Then there are the deeper issues: Child rearing beliefs, definitions of loyalty, and conflict resolution. Without mental fortitude and patience, married couples simply become part of the 40-50 % of 1st marriages that end in divorce and 60-67 % of 2nd marriages that also end in divorce. These statistics are provided by the American Psychological Association as most couples tend to try therapy once things have gone south in the relationship.

A better option would be proactivity. Therapy, before marriage, can help couples highlight underlying issues and address unspoken questions and dislikes. Mental preparedness also involves demonstrating transparency and establishing boundaries. Entering into a marriage does not mean that all boundaries will dissipate. Instead, it will be increasingly important to have already set boundaries and expectations so that each partner can determine if they agree or if they need to seek out other options. Marriage is a commitment, spiritually, legally, and emotionally that binds two people together for what is supposed to be forever.

The common belief if that each are each other’s better halves, but a more ideal situation is one where both partners come in 100% whole, already.