2 minute read
Calling Time
Coach-athlete relationships are a curious thing. Sometimes the coach is like a member of the family, other times there is detachment and it is more clinical or business like. But underlying all good coach-athlete combinations are three key elements – mutual trust, respect and communication.
We often hear of athletes ‘dumping’ a coach and moving on to someone who they believe will better service their needs and aspirations. But it is less common to hear the reverse. Obviously it does happen, but tends to be less prevalent and usually plays out in a more low key manner.
Most coaches have great intuition. I suppose it’s part of the humanistic approach many have and their ability to read peoples thoughts and emotions. So when certain dynamics within the coach-athlete relationship start to change, intuition will then play it’s part in determining whether they may have a lasting or significant impact on the relationship. Or… might this just be a repositioning of how the relationship will continue into the future?
Those ‘gut feel’ instincts may be the start of the coachquestioning where things are headed in terms of sticking to theinviolable tenets of mutual trust, respect and communication.If the answer is NO then something has to change.
The tell-tale signs things are changing
• Your goals are no longer aligned
• Discussions lead to disputes more easily
• Sharing of information declines or ceases
• Timeliness or the level of commitment slips
• Losing clarity around your role
Can I Make the Break?
Grappling with the big questions… ‘we’ve been through so much together’, ‘this is just a phase, we’ll work through it’, ‘I’ve got them this far, but still so much to do’ will often leave you stressed, anxious and reluctant to bring things to a head.
This is the time you call on intuition. If it doesn’t feel right anymore, chances are it isn’t and neither party will prosper in anenvironment that no longer meets the needs of one… or both.
So what are the next steps? Well given we see communication as such an important part of what we do, how about a face to face catch up to chat about ‘stuff’. The intent of this catch up however must be quite clear – to clarify the expectations of both the athlete and coach.
If it’s obvious from this catch up that those expectations are no longer in synch, then the time has come to make the big call.
It’s not you it’s me
These situations also present a great opportunity for a coach to assess their own circumstances at the time. We all like to shift blame, but in the end are you the issue and not the athlete?
It can be hard to make a harsh assessment of oneself, butask yourself the following questions and maybe ask them ofothers to gauge their opinions.
Navel Gazing
• Are you as committed to the athlete as you once were?
• Do you have family or work priorities that are reducing your ability to coach?
• Are you taking on too many athletes and are you able to service them all properly?
• Is coaching becoming a chore?
Moving On
Emotions can run high in any form of relationship change.It is critical that rash decisions not be made, things said thatshouldn’t be said and respect on both sides maintained.
Does the athlete have a transition plan? If not then you should play a role in setting this up. Dumping and running isn’t going to help either party so assist as required or engaged to make sure as smooth a transition as possible exists. Remember – you often know more about the athlete in the sporting context than they do themselves and the information you possess is important in any transition process. So although this is a topic rarely raised publicly, don’t be afraid to tackle it head on when you believe you need to.
Calling time at the right time will definitely save a lot ofheartache in the long run.
