Issue 3 - November 22

www.edinazephyrus.com

November 22, 2016| 37:3

TABLE OF CONTENTS

What’s Inside?

News..........................4 Ninth grade teachers, Black Friday, and more!

Politics.......................5 Recap on the election and the future of our country Features......................6 Meet senior novelist and learn more about student internships In-depth................8 & 9 A comprehensive report on EHS’s food scene Features....................10 EHS welcomes foreign exchange students

Opinion.............11 & 12 Sports.............................................15 Do we need religion?

Culture................13 & 14 Learn how to take care of your plants and DIY coffee drinks

Athlete of the Month: Emma Seymour and the evolution of baseball

Humor.............................................16 Don’t try these recipes at home: Thanksgiving edition

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Dear EHS students: Over the last week, in the wake of a disturbing example of racial hate speech at our school and a historically divisive election, you’ve heard and read a lot of calls for unity for the school and the nation. This letter is not one of them. Unity can only occur if everyone being asked to unify feels valued, and it’s clear that is not the case at EHS. Calls for unity tend to treat each faction of a conflict as identical, differing only in whatever grievance, regardless of legitimacy, it is asked to drop in order to achieve unification. This letter is about cutting through euphemisms like “backgrounds” and “differences” and naming those factions and grievances for the purpose of eventually making unification possible.

Over the course of the long campaign, multiple groups of students might have felt targeted in some way: black, Hispanic, Muslim, Jewish, LGBTQ+, and female students -- particularly sexual assault survivors -- among them. Right now, many of you in these groups feel more vulnerable than usual because of the racist image spread on social media, as well as the results of the election. Know that we will do all we can to protect you and to fight for you. Many of you have made clear through conversations with us that right now, you don’t feel physically safe. This is unacceptable, and we will do everything in our power to fight against forces that could harm you. We know you will fight, too, but you shouldn’t have to shoulder that burden alone.

We know you’ll have many allies among our other students. Some of you were crying the morning after the election, worried about possible consequences to others, such as your friends being deported. Many of you weren’t outwardly emotional, but were still dismayed and keenly aware of the distress of many of your fellow students.

We need you to protect and fight for the vulnerable groups the same way we will -- by

EDITORIAL calling out abusive behavior when you see it, by offering emotional support to those who need it, by becoming active in groups that fight for social justice.

The school building the day after the election was as somber and quiet as we’ve ever seen it. We hope that no matter what your feelings are about the election or who you supported, you can recognize that political decisions have far-ranging personal consequences. We are already seeing signs as close as Maple Grove High School that some people feel the election result has validated them to unleash their worst impulses.

We can’t let this type of behavior become normalized. So again, no matter who you supported, we ask that you do everything you can to empathize with these more vulnerable students, and fight against bullying, intolerance, and inequality.

Unity is not a starting point but a destination. We all have a different part to play in helping this school get there. For our part, we’ll do everything we can to abide by these words from Tom Rademacher, Minnesota’s 2014 Teacher of the Year, which he wrote two days after the election: “We will fail, but will not accept failure. We will teach. We will teach to fix a world we cannot fix. We will teach rebellion against a broken world. We can do that, starting today.”

Sincerely, Tim Klobuchar with Daniel Amborn Daniel Baron Kourtnee Baukol Kristin Benson Traci Bergo Cesley Bergsten Tim Berndt David Boone Meghan Brautigam

Online

Jonathan Buckley Lisa Burnham Kimberly Caster Wyndemere Coffey Tom Connell Pat Corcoran Steve Cullison Joe Deckenbach Kari Discher

www.edinazephyrus.com Twitter and Instagram: @edinazephyrus YouTube: edinazephyrus Facebook: Zephyrus

Noah Franske Sarah Franssen Jessica Froehlich Nick Gaudette Erik Gronberg Dylan Hackbarth Alicia Halker Lisa Hanson

On The Cover

Gillian Mousseau (Cover and In-Depth Art) Katie Manderfeld (Header)

Zephyrus Staff Editorial Board Lillie Westbrook, print editor in chief Isabel Thompson, online editor in chief Christina Orth, public relations editor Nikki Lund, art editor Colette Bruder, print copy editor Anne Amen, online copy editor

Rebecca Edgington, human resources editor Page Editors Jenna Simon Ben Gustafson Will Schwinghammer Greta Morton Tanner Jones Max North Ellery Mahlum Maren Naegele

Staff Writers Lily Jones Eva Hadjiyanis Morgan Sheehy Brooke Sheehy Simone Vaillancourt Matthew Egger Greyson Mize Cecilia Orth Anjali Aralikar Emma Bailey

Photographers Zoe Cheung Josie Al-Najim Grace Wolf Uma Bhati

Heather Henke Elizabeth Hillstrom Barb Hodne Kjersti Humphrey Sarah Irons Sarah Jarrett Taylor Johnson Amy Kampf Tess Kingsbury Natalia Kissock Jeff Krause Janelle Krchnavy Sally Larkins Maureen Lindholm Laura Livesay Ryann Longley Kendra Maus Gavin McLean Bethany Mohs Ellen Mundt Anna Myrand Joel Nasset Betsy Nimmo Christopher Piela Mellanie Pusateri Kim Raskin Joelle Reiling

Michael Roddy Jackie Roehl Allison Ronglien Katie Russell Steve Sanger Amanda Schimmelpfennig Sandy Schmidt Jim Schofield Cliff Schwartz Shannon Seaver Maureen Slavin Laura Slominski Lindsey Smaka Lori Songstad Dori Sternberg Mary Stucynski Sara Swenson Justin Swoboda Melody Taylor Annie Thole Leigh Ann Thul Dalen Towne Meggie Trenda Craig Van Someren Michael Walker Dana Weiland Mark Zangara

Advisor Sally Larkins

Artists Gage Aulik Sandra Chen Katie Schiller Gillian Mousseau

Zephyrus is a monthly publication produced by students of Edina High School; 6754 Valley View Road; Edina, MN 55439; (952) 848-3800 x3087. Zephyrus is an open forum for student expression that recognizes the First Amendment guarentee of freedom of the press, and abides by Tinker standard. Opinions published in Zephyrus do not necessarily reflect the views of the entire staff, advisor, administration, or entire student body. Submissions and letters are printed based on space available. Anonymous letters may be printed only if a Zephyrus advisor or editor knows the author’s identity.

Letters should be mailed to the school or given to the advisor or a staff member. Zephyrus reserves the right to edit any letters for clarity and length.

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NEWS MOA to be Closed on Thanksgiving Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, marks the beginning of the winter holiday shopping season.

Most major retail stores offer promotional discounts and sales, which attract many consumers looking to save a couple extra bucks. However, in recent years, Black Friday has subsumed Thanksgiving night and stolen part of the meaning of what the day is supposed to represent, just so companies can make a bigger profit and consumers can save a little money.

This year, the Mall of America (the largest mall in the country) is taking a stand against opening its doors on Thanksgiving night. Instead, the mall will wait until Friday morning at 5 am to open its doors, giving its employees the holiday to spend time with their families.

The Star Tribune reports that Jill Renslow, MOA’s senior vice-president of marketing and business development, hopes the move to close the mall’s doors on Thanksgiving will be a positive change. “[Closing the mall on Thanksgiving will] bring that special magic back to Black Friday,” Renslow told the Tribune. “We’re excited to give this day back to our employees so they can celebrate with their families.”

So what are the pros and cons of opening retail door’s early on Thanksgiving night, instead of Friday morning? Many families have made it a tradition to head off to MOA to catch the best shopping deals, after the big turkey feast. This allows families to venture out of the house for a new change in scenery, especially after a day of gorging on Thanksgiving turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, yams and pumpkin pie. You can’t argue with the physical benefits of this recent tradition, even if the pocket book is a little lighter.

Still, it’s hard to see how the pros of keeping stores doors open on Thanksgiving outweigh the cons. Every year it seems that stores open an hour earlier than the previous year, and while this may be a benefit to consumers, it’s hard for stores to find staff members who are willing to abruptly leave their turkey feasts to head to work. Additionally, stores typically stay open all night and into Friday. This puts an added strain on stores, as they scramble to find the staff to cover these extended hours.

While some stores in MOA could have the option to open on Thanksgiving, at the moment none have openly declared that they will. In the case that a couple stores remain open, security and maintenance staff will be available. But if not, more than 15,000 employees at MOA could potentially benefit from the mall staying closed and in fact could have Thanksgiving be a work free day.

MOA not starting Black Friday until Friday very well might create a ripple effect where other malls and stores close too, which means we’re one step closer to remembering the meaning of Thanksgiving.

Next year, Edina High School will be receiving not only a new class of sophomores, but a class of freshmen as well. The long-awaited freshman merger has been in the works for years and is finally coming to fruition. The class of 2021 is excited to pioneer the high school freshman experience, and the building itself is under construction in order to accommodate the new students. However, one group is still unsure of what the future will hold: the ninth grade teachers.

Rachel Minerich has been teaching ninth grade English at Valley View Middle School for seven years. “There are a plethora of ideas swirling around the halls of academia here at Edina Public Schools,” she said. “We are still in the brainstorming portion of the planning.” Ideas have been flying about how freshmen can integrate. “They were thinking about having the freshman in a certain section of the building, but I think we all realized that it would contradict the original intent behind the merger,” said Minerich.

The addition of freshmen to the high

school opens up a wide array of choices for teachers and curriculum. Added resources and a more open schedule means more class options for students. “They were thinking about adding a freshman Humanities class, but I don’t think anyone has made a motion to approve the proposal,” said Minerich. A full high school curriculum Freshmen will leave VVMS in the fall of 2017 could also bring changes to other freshman classes, overall education foundation that they like math and science. Despite the extra leave Valley View with will suffer because opportunities, no overarching curriculum they will be attracted to other endeavors,” reform is planned. “It takes a year to plan she said. The extra year in the middle out a new course before teachers refine it schools offers students a chance to find a enough to implement it and with the move, firm academic footing before moving on to it would be overwhelming,” said Minerich. the rush of high school. “[My colleagues’] The merger will have both good and responses are varied across the board,” bad aspects. “There will be much more said Minerich. freedom, but incoming freshmen are Nonetheless, freshman students and frequently not mature enough to make teachers will accompany sophomores good choices,” said Minerich. She worries to EHS next year. Whether or not their about freshmen who could be negatively classes will go through a significant influenced by upperclassmen due to change has yet to be determined, but the inexperience. Freshmen coming to the class of 2021 has an exciting opportunity high school will be felt in the middle ahead. schools as well. “I am afraid that the

Edina Public Schools’ Superintendent to Retire Ben Gustafson in-depth editor After nearly 11 years as superintendent of Edina Public Schools, Ric Dressen has announced that he will be stepping down at the end of the 2016-2017 school year.

“This has been a wonderful learning and leadership experience for me, and I cannot believe how the power of community has helped to make great learning happen during my tenure,” Dressen told Zephyrus.

Since taking the helm at Edina Public Schools, Dressen has boosted Edina’s national reputation for excellence, though Dressen insists “all of the leadership work is a team success.” Dressen’s primary focus has been creating a learning environment in Edina Public Schools that is responsive to the ever-evolving needs of students. “I believe the strategic advancement of Next Gen Edina Public Schools has been the district’s best work in advancing education for our community. For the past three years, we have collectively created and are implementing a plan to support the success of learners from birth to age 95 as we look to the future,” said Dressen.

Through a variety of district initiatives, including the approval of the district’s $124.9 million bond referendum, which funded improvements to all ten of the district’s educational facilities, Dressen’s vision of next generation facilities has become a reality.

One challenging, but important, task for Dressen was providing a multitude

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of learning opportunities for all students. community gives to supporting young He hopes that Edina Public Schools will people and their hopes and dreams. I continue its commitment of “closing the believe the students feel this support achievement and access learning gaps for and respond by giving their best,” said all students.” While limited resources, Dressen. The best advice that Dressen like funding, can hinder a school district’s has for Edina’s students is “to dream big, ability to ensure opportunities for all enjoy life, be good to one another, and students, Dressen believes that Edina take time to ‘play’ every day.” is fortunate enough to “have a team The Edina School Board has hired a that works hard to creatively problem search firm to help with the process and solve our challenges and maximize our hopes to identify Dressen’s replacement resources.” by this spring. The current timeframe Through it all, Dressen’s passion for would allow a period of transition education has kept him going. He still between Dressen and his successor before has the same enthusiasm for teaching Dressen officially steps down on June 30. that he had when he started his career Furthermore, the district will be receiving in education as a fourth grade teacher, input from students, staff, and the football coach, and softball coach. “I community. “I just want to thank everyone really enjoy supporting, connecting, for all their kindness, support and sharing cheering and helping students pursue over the years. This entire community their hopes and dreams in the classroom makes my job easy,” said Dressen. and beyond. The students really keep my passion for leadership alive,” he said.

Dressen wholeheartedly believes that the excellence of Edina Public Schools is a direct result of Edina’s tradition of supporting young people in the community.

“Edina is special because Dressen’s tweet announcing his retirement of the priority this

photo courtesy of Twitter

photo courtesy of npr.org

MOA is a former Black Friday hotspot

Lillie Westbrook print editor in chief

photo by Jenna Simon

Maren Naegele features editor

Freshmen Teachers Face Changes

POLITICS

The Messy Side of Political Expression Will Schwinghammer humor editor

photo courtesy of Google Vandalism was rampant this election directly lie about a candidate.

Although it may not seem like an inappropriate way of showing political support, even something as innocuous as wearing a campaign shirt too close to a polling place can be against the law. According to Minnesota Statute 211B.11, “A person may not display campaign material, post signs, ask, solicit, or in any manner try to induce or persuade a voter within a polling place or within 100 feet of the building in which a polling place is situated, or anywhere on the public property on which a polling place is situated, on primary or election day to vote for or refrain from voting for a candidate or ballot question.” The statute also says that political insignias may not be worn at or near polling places. Since the Valley View Middle School gymnasiums were used as a polling place, political insignias could not be worn or brought to school by students at VVMS or Edina High School on Election Day. Additionally, bumper stickers or political signage on cars in the parking lot were too close and had to be covered or removed.

Despite being completely innocent in nature, it is against state law to campaign in any way on school grounds on Election Day. Even with modern politics being so controversial, there’s no need to boost polarization with senseless crime.

Matthew Egger staff writer The President Elect of the United States will have the duty of appointing a Supreme Court justice to replace the late Antonin Scalia, who died in February. The Supreme Court is currently at a balance of four conservative leaning justices, and four liberal leaning ones. Donald Trump, our presidentelect as of Nov. 8, will undoubtedly tilt the balance of the Supreme Court right with his judicial appointment.

While President Obama appointed Merrick Garland in March 2016, no vote has taken place in the Senate on whether or not he will join the Supreme Court. His appointment can be voted on until the adjournment of the 114th Senate on Jan. 3, 2017. After that, the newly inaugurated president will have to appoint a new justice to be voted upon by the Senate. A majority of votes in the Senate (51 of 100) is required to confirm a justice to the Supreme Court.

Trump has made an uncommon move in listing the names of people he would consider appointing assuming there is still a vacancy on Jan. 20. The vast majority of candidates state the qualities they look for in a justice rather than give names, such as Hillary Clinton had done this election. Due to the Republicans taking a majority in the Senate, it is likely that Trump will appoint a conservative justice.

Clinton, as mentioned before, had not listed any names of justices she would consider appointing during her campaign.

There was some chance she would reappoint Merrick Garland if she was elected; however, because Garland is moderately conservative, she would have alienated many far-left liberals that supported Senator Bernie Sanders in doing so. Even if Clinton had won the presidency, it would have been unlikely that she would have been able to appoint a liberal justice due to the Republican majority in the Senate.

In the third presidential debate, both candidates were given the opportunity to mention traits of possible appointees to the Supreme Court that they would search for.

“It is important that we not reverse marriage equality, that we not reverse Roe v. Wade, that we stand up against Citizens United, [and that] we stand up for the rights of people in the workplace,” said Clinton. Trump, being a Republican, is a strict constructionist, (meaning he believes the Constitution should not be interpreted by justices). “[The justices] will be protecting the Second Amendment.

They will interpret the Constitution the way the founders wanted it interpreted. And I believe that’s very, very important,” said Trump.

The Supreme Court has made history countless times in American history. The Supreme Court has decided on many pivotal cases of the past including Planned Parenthood v Casey (1992) which ruled that abortion is legal until 23 weeks of pregnancy, and Citizens United v FEC (2010) which ruled that freedom of speech protects independent political expenditures by a nonprofit corporation.

With justices Anthony Kennedy, Ruth Ginsburg, and Stephen Breyer age 78 or older, it is probable that before long, there will be a need for not only a replacement for the late Antonin Scalia, but for Kennedy, Ginsburg, and Breyer as well. The possibility of President-elect Trump appointing four of the total nine Supreme Court justices places an extreme amount of influence into the Executive Branch’s hands.

photo courtesy of Google

There’s no doubt that polarization was incredibly high this election cycle. As a result, some people expressed their support in less than ideal ways. Supporting candidates with tried and true lawn signs is free speech and a vital part of American democracy; illegally vandalizing those signs and other public property to voice support is not protected speech. With tensions between the two major presidential candidates that ran at an unprecedented high, it’s important to remember to remain civil in public discourse about politics.

One trend in showing political allegiance is the theft of political signs. Despite the fact that stealing signs is just as illegal as stealing anything else, legal consequences don’t seem to deter thieves. The Edina Police Crime Report doesn’t show any incidences of sign theft in the month of October, despite numerous claims of stolen signs made by homeowners on Facebook and other online forums. This suggests that sign thefts goes unreported, and that signs are simply replaced instead. Since signs supporting candidates of either party cost about $20, which goes directly to the campaign, stealing signs is a counterproductive means of voicing public opinion and only fuels polarization.

It’s also against state law to knowingly create or distribute a sign that lies about a candidate. “A person is guilty of a gross misdemeanor who intentionally participates in the preparation, dissemination, or broadcast of paid political advertising or campaign material with respect to the personal or political character or acts of a candidate,” if the information in said material is false, according to Minnesota Statute 211B.06.

To put it simply, it’s a crime to knowingly distribute lies about a candidate in an effort to damage their campaign. For example, while attack ads may tread the line on what is and is not the truth, they are legally obligated to not

The Supreme Court Question

Supreme Court Nominee Merrick Garland

C o n c e s s i o n : A V i t a l P o l i t i c a l Tr a d i t i o n Morgan Sheehy staff writer The 2016 presidential election has finally come and gone, and I think we can all agree that the end of this political pandemonium has definitely taken a heavy weight off many American’s shoulders. The candidates representing both the Democrat and Republican parties have caused reactions of insanity and resentment, driving the opposing parties apart more than ever. The election results have many Americans rejoicing, and the other half worried for the future of our free country.

At the end of every presidential campaign and election, it is tradition that the loser concedes or surrenders to the winner, exemplifying a peaceful transition of power. At the final presidential debate, the topic of concession was introduced.

Chris Wallace, the Sunday anchor of Fox News, carefully crafted a question for Trump at the final presidential debate on October 19. He asked Trump if he would absolutely accept the outcome of the election, resulting in an answer that rattled the American people.

“I will look at it at the time” said Trump, a response that will go down in presidential debate history. He continued to defend his answer by saying “the media has poisoned the mind of the voters,” and that there are “millions of people registered to vote that shouldn’t be registered to vote,” referencing a Pew Research Center report about voter registration. He concluded his defense, stating that Hillary Clinton shouldn’t have been allowed to continue in the presidential race because she was guilty of very serious crimes (referring to Clinton’s Benghazi scandal that had recently resurfaced).

Wallace continued to press Trump about the unwritten tradition of concession. “I’ll tell you at the time. I’ll keep you in suspense, okay?” said Trump, as he continued to express that he was not prepared to commit to the principal and accept defeat.

In the end, Trump never had to worry about a concession speech. What would have happened if he lost? Would he have conceded or been the first in history to not comply with the American tradition? These are questions we will never truly know the answer to, but there is one thing we do know for certain: Hillary Clinton delivered her concession speech as

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promised, an important step in bringing our country together for many after her shocking defeat.

Clinton’s speech showed a side of her that most Americans had never seen. She began her speech by saying that she was sorry for letting her supporters down and called her loss “painful.” She did not shy away from expressing her feeling of defeat. Yet she urged her supporters to accept Trump’s win and asked them to keep an open mind about his presidency.

Though her speech was full of emotion, Clinton managed to end on a high note by addressing the young women of America.

“To all the little girls who are watching this, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams,” said Clinton. Her response to Trump’s win was both gracious and professional, and it left those who had been let down feeling empowered.

Donald Trump will officially be our 45th president after Inauguration Day on January 20, 2017. We must do as both Clinton and President Barack Obama have expressed to the American people; be flexible and give president Trump the chance he deserves to lead.

FEATURES

A Student Author’s Novel Idea Jenna Simon news editor Passionate writers from around the world come together every year during the month of November for National Novel Writing Month, also known as NaNoWriMo. NaNoWriMo is an annual online event created to motivate and challenge aspiring writers to write a novel over the course of one month. Senior Caroline Harmening, who is ahead of the game with one novel already finished and two more in the works, is one such aspiring writer who is considering participating in NaNoWriMo for the first time this year.

Although she has never officially participated in the NaNoWriMo event, Harmening has established herself as a promising novelist and poet. She started writing at a very young age, and still enjoys looking back on poems or stories she wrote from as early as kindergarten.

“I’ve always enjoyed writing in some sense, and I’ve always wanted to be able to convey stories that I just think of, because it’s fun to me,” said Harmening.

Needless to say, Harmening has come a long way since kindergarten. In addition to her finished novel, Harmening has published some of her own pieces of poetry.

Harmening started writing her first

novel, “Sun and Rain,” when she was in ninth grade, finishing it two years later as a junior.

The story centers around a girl named Qing Bayla, who lives in an alternate universe where England has taken over China. In this imperialist society, the people of China have certain powers or abilities based on the color of their eyes. Qing Bayla, who has been led to believe her grey eyes are powerless, finds herself on a quest to discover the powers she actually possesses.

Other novels of Harmening’s have similar dystopian themes, such as her unfinished work entitled “Unorphaned.”

In this book’s universe, adults are not supposed to raise their own children, as familial connections are belived to create a populace that is less loyal to its government. If a person chooses to keep their child, the child is labeled “unorphaned,” and is considered lower status.

Depending on the novel, Harmening uses different processes to go about organizing her ideas. “First I have an idea, then I kind of let that sit for a while,” said Harmening. “[Then I usually] go through and I create a basic plan.” For certain novels, such as “Unorphaned,” Harmening will plan out each chapter ahead of time in order

Christina Orth human resources editor

to insert a message that can be carried throughout the story. In other cases, Harmening will keep a general planning document where she keeps track of every character and idea that pops into her head. “I once had a writing teacher say you got to get 100,000 bad words out before you get any good words,” said Harmening. Once she finishes brainstorming different plot points on a large scale, Harmening is able narrow down her broad bank of ideas to craft a story.

Looking forward, Harmening is focusing on entering a novella competition later this year. For aspiring writers, Harmening’s main piece of advice is to not shy away from getting your words out there. “There were a lot of times I wanted to give up on the novel I actually finished, and if I had I’d just be another person who started a book,” said Harmening. “Once you find an idea that you’ve planned out and been invested in, stick with it until the end.”

Internships Help Prepare Students for the Future Simone Vaillancourt staff writer

career possibilities.”

Johns maintains she has benefitted greatly from both internships as she continues down her career path. “[They have] led me to realize that I enjoy incorporating the ‘problem solving’ aspects of engineering into the ‘efficiency and organization’ of the business world,” said Johns. She believes that her time in the workplace has given her more experience than most of her peers, and that she now has a better understanding of what jobs in the engineering and business world actually look like. “Both [internships] have given me valuable experience working with experts in their respective fields,” said Johns. “[The internships] have shown me that there is more to engineering than just math and science and it’s definitely something I want to pursue in college and mix with business.”

Johns’ advice to students who are looking for an internship? “Don’t be afraid to ask about it! Networking is super important and the sooner you can start making connections in the real world, the more options you will have later on. It’s incredibly rewarding to see all of your hard work pay off!”

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Edina Public Schools’ bus drivers might seem as though they are hidden in plain sight, but they are an essential piece of a well-oiled machine. They work eight hours a day behind the scenes to coordinate student safety and transportation, and serve as role models to the students they drive. Hopefully you’ve always said ‘good morning’ and ‘thank you’ when walking past your bus driver. But have you ever taken the time to get to know your driver personally?

Zephyrus was lucky enough to sit down with two EPS bus drivers: Gail Jasmer and Lavinia Phillips.

Jasmer has been driving for thirty years, ten of those with EPS on bus #99. Phillips is in her second year at Edina as a substitute driver with eleven years of experience under her belt. “I can’t imagine doing anything else,” said Phillips.

A bus driver’s day starts early. When they pick you up in the morning at around 7 AM, they’ve already been up since 4:45 AM. The two friends get to the bus garage every day at 6 AM, hating to miss a day. “I’m never hardly been gone. I’m the one who can do my route the best, and I hate being gone because I hate my kids getting to school late… It’s not a chore to get up in the morning, I love my job,” said Jasmer. Jasmer has a guaranteed bus schedule for the year whereas Phillips helps train new drivers and fill in routes with absentee drivers, but they both do it for the children.

Bus drivers tend to have a strong sense of companionship with their kids and co-workers, and Jasmer and Phillips say the camaraderie with the kids is one of the best parts of the job. “I don’t get that same camaraderie with the kids as Gail does, but even being a sub I am amazed by how polite the kids are… That’s the kids though, they make your job,” said Phillips. Bus drivers see their kids everyday and teach them important lessons of time management, patience, and dignity.

“They call me by my first name, I don’t mind. If I get respect, I have no problem giving that respect back,” said Jasmer.

Other than their mutual passion for driving and kids, Jasmer and Phillips enjoy similar hobbies. Jasmer loves to read, sew, and she bakes one of the “best banana breads.” When asked what her favorite car to drive was, the response was instantaneous. “I love my truck,” said Jasmer. Additionally, Phillips enjoys listening to audiobooks while embroidering, has been crocheting since she was a little girl, loves to travel, and when she has time off, she likes to see her family in Wyoming.

Bus drivers work endlessly to shuttle their kids to school and home everyday, to activities and back every day, to field trips and to school again. So get to know them and thank them for what they do!

photo by Zoe Cheung

In high school, most students are busy preparing for their futures, and senior Katherine Johns is no exception.

With two internships already under her belt, she is making her way towards a successful career by gaining valuable real world experience. Last summer, Johns secured an internship at Rose Street Patisserie and a Project Lead The Way internship with the City of Edina’s engineering department. Though the internships focus on different fields, they have come together to help Johns realize what career path she wants to follow in the future.

“I basically went up to [my boss] and asked if she was looking for an intern... she interviewed me shortly after that and I eventually ended up being her intern,” said Johns, regarding how she got her internship at the patisserie. In order to secure the PLTW opportunity, Johns said the process was as simple as filling out an application and attending an interview.

She will continue to work throughout the school year, gaining experience and knowledge that will better prepare her for

a future career.

At Rose Street Patisserie, Johns has been helping one of the co-owners create and execute social media strategies and develop marketing campaigns, digital content, and presentations. At her second internship, she shadows different people in the engineering department and maintains a professional portfolio. While her tasks vary with each internship, she maintains that they keep her busy. “[At Rose Street Patisserie] I spend about ten hours each week completing tasks and research for my boss. In the engineering internship, I go to the public works department three times a week for about an hour instead of going to my engineering class,” said Johns.

Though her overall goal of securing a job in business or engineering is still far away, Johns said that both internships are helping her to reach it. “I really want to do something in the business world, so getting to see the inner-workings of a successful business is really incredible,” said Johns. “Industrial and civil engineering are two fascinating fields, so being able to explore some different careers within the civil engineering field has really been eye-opening to some

Meet Edina’s Unsung Heros: Our Bus Drivers

Bus drivers Gail Jasmer and Lavinia Philips

IN-DEPTH

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Art by: Jillian Mousseau, Gage Aulik, and Sandra Chen Photography by: Grace Wolf and Zoe Cheung

Sandra Chen staff artist

photo by Grace Wolf

Paul Seim (left) is hosting French student Fabio Flore (right)

Isabel Thompson online editor-in-chief

Sometimes sharing a life with someone only three minutes apart can be tough. Fraternal or identical, your twin is always a part of you for better or worse. But whether your twin is your best friend or your total opposite, you love them no matter what.

Being a twin can complicate even the most fun parts of childhood. Take birthdays, for example. There’s one day in the entire year that is made especially for you: your birthday, a day you cherish because it’s all about you. Twins have to share their special day. Sharing birthday parties as a little kid isn’t so bad, but once you grow up, everything changes.

Your friend group may be different or you might want a different party and the awkwardness of deciding what to do can become a burden.

Not only can birthdays be hard, but everyday friendships are as well. “The hardest part about being a twin is having your twin being friends with your friends,” said senior Sam Garton. You may want to hang out with a friend but feel guilty because you know your twin might want to as well.

photo by Grace Wolf

Walking through the hallways, you might have seen Edina High School students with French counterparts. For many years, EHS students have been given the privilege of hosting exchange students from France. “Basically for this program, students [from France] come over for 3 weeks at a time, and shadow [a student at EHS],” said EHS junior Paul Seim. The program offers many opportunities for exchanges between students in both France and the United States. “This trip was organized last year... In ninth grade, some students in my high school came to my class to tell us about an exchange program. I thought this type of experience would be fun,” said junior exchange student Fabio Flore.

Juniors Seim and Flore are two of the many that have embraced this great opportunity. Flying for the first time, Flore flew to the United States this fall to live with Seim’s family for almost a month. “Not everybody can go to America like this, it’s a great opportunity [and] experience,” said Flore, who is currently on his second week of the program.

“Experiences here and vocab learned are going to stick so much better than anything [one] would have learned in a classroom. Accent-wise, grammar correction… it all shows a difference of what you can get in a conversation and in tests,” said EHS French teacher Kimberly Caster. There are also some differences between the French and American education systems. “The main difference is that we have eight hours instead of six here. The hours are also the same every day here, [while] we have different hours every day,” said Flore.

Not only do students improve their language proficiency, they also become better assimilated into new cultures. “French kids, like American kids, have stereotypes from American movies and television... [The program helps create] an authentic experience so that [students] can say that’s not true [when they hear a false stereotype],” said Caster. Media exaggerations have unfortunately influenced both France and the United States in many detrimental ways, as Americans are often characterized by their supposed love of fast food. “In France, there is a stereotype that all Americans are fat, that’s wrong… there’s [another] stereotype that Americans eat a lot of burgers, that’s kind of true,” said Flore. “They think that we don’t do the academic stuff, that we eat burgers all the time. They think Americans are obese, and they don’t know what American schools look like,” said Caster.

Overall, the program has been very successful, as students from both countries are given the opportunity to visit and learn academically, but also culturally. “We’ve done it probably for the past ten years,” said Caster, speaking about Edina’s long-term commitment to the program. “The school district is working towards all students being proficient in two languages.

[Through this exchange program, students] are developing cultural understanding, working thorough vocab and correcting each other. It’s a real experience,” continued Caster.

For French students interested in a similar immersion experience with a host family and a school visit, Caster will be organizing a non-school sponsored trip in June of 2018.

Double Trouble

Fraternal twins Meghan and Parker Rickert

While some twins might have the convenience of having completely different friend groups, going to the same school means that you’re more than likely to have overlapping friendships.

One of the biggest struggles of being a twin is all of the awkwardness that comes with it. People always have a million questions for you about what being a twin means.

“When I was younger people thought Parker and I were dating because we look nothing alike and I was shy and afraid of boys so I would only talk to him. So when we told people we were twins they wouldn’t believe us,” said senior and twin Meghan Rickert.

Furthermore, if you’re a fraternal twin you’re used to hearing, “Are you identical?” Identical means similar in every detail, and twins go along with that definition as well.

Think before asking boy/girl twins if they’re identical, because unless you’ve never taken a health class we all know there is at least one difference.

Often, there is confusion on what being a twin means.

To avoid embarrassment when speaking with twins, keep the following instructions in mind. First, twins are not in the womb for 18 months instead of nine. Twice the kids does not mean twice the time. Second, the only pain twins feel between one another is when they get in a physical fight with each other. If your twin breaks their arm, you won’t know unless they call you. Third, if you’re not going to spend the time to figure out which identical twin is which, it is considered rude when you keep asking. Fourth, never ask how much one twin likes the other. How would you feel if someone ask you that about your sibling? You’ll probably get the same response.

“My favorite part about being a twin is probably the fact that I have someone in my life who has been with me through everything. He is my best friend and my other half,” said Rickert. In the end it’s nice to know that there is someone who can understand exactly what you’re going through (and the twin telepathy definitely helps!)

Teachers Tatted Up Anjali Aralikar staff writer

When you imagine someone with a tattoo, you probably picture a member of biker gang or a hipster. The last person you might imagine having a tattoo is your math teacher.

However, there are more inked teachers out there than you know, even some at Edina High School. One of them, Nate Murphy, is a math teacher at EHS, who got a tattoo last summer.

Murphy’s tattoo is a depiction of four arrows bound together. He got the tattoo to represent the things he cares most about, his faith and his family. “There’s a verse in the Bible that talks about children being a gift, that they are like arrows in the hand of a warrior, ‘Blessed is the man whose quiver is full,’” said Murphy. The arrows on his arms represent his four children, Abigail, Elliana, Lydia, and Briella. “I like the symbolism of an arrow, because unlike other weapons that are meant to be held on to, an arrow is meant to be pointed in the right direction and let go of.”

EHS chemistry teacher, Lindsey Smaka, also got a tattoo over the summer. It’s a print of her mother’s hand writing on her left wrist. “My mom passed away from cancer about a year ago. I wanted a tattoo to remember her and was struggling with what I would like,” said Smaka. She came up with the idea of handwriting a week before she actually got the tattoo. “Her handwriting was beautiful, so I decided that.

I tattooed ‘Love, Mom’ in her handwriting from a card she had given me,” she said.

Another EHS teacher, Daniel Amborn, has two tattoos.

Amborn got his first tattoo six years ago on his upper right arm. It’s an illustration of the Triforce from Legend of Zelda, a video game. “The Legend of Zelda has always been my

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favorite video game series; it is the one I devoted to the most time on the original NES as a child, and as I’ve gotten older and the games have become more expansive and elaborate, [and] I’ve continually been drawn to them,” said Amborn.

He got his second tattoo three years ago. It’s all black band around his left calf with the silhouette of a spaceship from the anime, Cowboy Bebop, as well as the slogan ‘See you, Space Cowboy.’ “The anime series Cowboy Bebop holds special significance to me for several reasons. First, I watched this anime repeatedly with my brothers, so it has familial significance. Secondly, I wanted to get a tattoo to signify my time in Japan, so I used this one to do that.

And lastly, a friend of mine came up with the calf-band design, and I thought it looked simple yet amazing, so I went with it,” said Amborn. Both tattoos pay homage to nerd culture which is a significant part of who Mr. Muphy’s tattoo represents his faith he is today. and family

photo by Grace Wolf

FEATURES Bienvenue to French Exchange Students

OPINION: Head to Head

Religion is Essential Cecilia Orth staff writer Religion is powerful. It exists in every culture. Many religions have been around for more than 100,000 years.

According to the Pew Research Center’s Forum on Religion & Public Life, approximately 84% of the world population identifies with a religion. Despite the idea that religion is irrelevant now, overall, faith is a positive and beneficial force in society.

Whether it’s finding someone to eat lunch with or rushing to make eye contact with someone the moment a teacher says find a partner, our psychological need for acceptance is profound. Somebody who may feel like an outsider might find their surrogate family at a place of worship. These religious communities inspire compassion and grant people the opportunity to serve others. A majority of mission trips and charities are run through religious institutions. Without these services, the less fortunate people may never recover from their hardships. Today, many religious institutions have kick-started schools, made daily meals for the poor, supported underdeveloped countries and offered assistance in areas where natural disasters have occurred.

Humans have cognitive tendencies to attempt to control any situation. Historians have theorized that religion was created to establish order, make sense of the universe, and promote morality. Religion remains important to civilization by connecting and creating social groups. Furthermore, neuroscience studies support the notion that the brain is created to believe.

Religion was created to explain the unexplainable.

When Englishman William Ellis came to Hawaii in 1820, the islanders told him many stories. They believed that Mount Kilauea erupted when the fire goddess Pele was upset. Now, we know that volcanoes erupt due to density and pressure. However, mankind has yet to answer every question and sometimes religion formulates an answer. Due to the unknown after death, many people embrace their faith because religions often create an afterlife.

“...religious institutions have kick-started schools, made daily meals for the poor, supported underdeveloped countries and offered assistance...”

Typically, being spiritual leads to a healthier life.

“Religious people are less prone to depression and anxiety,” said editor of the book “Contemplative Practices in Action: Spirituality, Meditation, and Health” Thomas Plante. They live longer, are less likely to abuse alcohol and drugs, and “even go to the dentist more often.” Similar to meditation, faith enhances attention and increases patience and optimism. In a study published in Psychological Science, psychologist Michael Inzlicht found that when under pressure, religious people are “calmer and more graceful.”

Religion plays a big role in America and its politics, especially Christianity. A citizen’s political ideology is often intertwined with their voting. For instance, a Catholic may vote only for Christian candidates. Religion will never disappear from society completely: our currency contains an “In God We Trust,” and political figures often end their speeches with “God bless America.”

Many argue that religion stirs up violence. However, the vast majority of world religions promote peace, not violence. Religious wars have occurred throughout history, but have more often been fueled by intolerance rather than religiously-motivated violence. Today, terrorist groups justify violence by claiming to follow a certain religion’s principles. The terrorist group ISIS claims to follow Islamic principles, yet Muslims protest that ISIS betrays their core religious beliefs. Muslims do not believe in terrorism and terrorist groups should not be affiliated with religion.

Religion is a reason to live; if you’ve felt lost or confused, look for guidance in a religious leader. Whether that’s Jesus, Muhammad, or another deity, many find meaning through faith. Viktor Frankl’s research of Nazi concentration camps revealed that the survivors were not the smartest, the strongest, or the youngest. Instead, the surviving victims tended to have found meaning: a reason to live. Religion can answer the pursuit of meaning, it can be the reason someone perseveres. Therefore, religion is a basic building block because it gives purpose and meaning.

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how,” said philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. For many, religion is that why.

Losing Faith in Faith

Religion’s Role in the 21st Century Lillian Jones staff writer Humans seem to have an inherent curiosity about spirituality, but I believe that that organized religion is not the best mechanism to satisfy this need. Religious institutions have outlived their usefulness and now conflict with modern society. Religion’s purpose prior to the advent of modern science and governmental systems was to explain nature, astrology, anatomy, deliver moral guidelines and to create societal order. None of these are relevant today. There are also other ways to build community and to be charitable that do not involve religion.

Research of religious trends show that Christianity is in massive decline in the United States. According to the Hartford Institute of Religion Research, more than 40 percent of Americans claim they go to church weekly. As it turns out, however, less than 20 percent are actually in church. According to researcher Thom Rainer somewhere between 4,000 and 7,000 churches close their doors every year, out of approximately 300,000 churches in the United States. Between the years 2010 and 2012, more than half of all churches in America did not add one new member. Every year more Americans don’t feel the need for religion in their lives, and as most religious traditions are passed down through generations this trend of apathy will likely continue.

Systemic scandals in the Catholic church show that religious institutions can be corrupt and abusive, proving there are flaws in religion.

The United States is starkly more religious than other socially and economically prosperous countries. Countries like Australia, Canada, Sweden, Switzerland, Japan, the Netherlands, and the United Kingdom are among the least

religious societies on Earth yet they have the highest rates of life expectancy, literacy, income per capita, education, and general economic and political stability. Conversely, the 50 nations now ranked lowest in terms of human development are unwaveringly religious. This proves that religion is not necessary to have a successful society and that religion and progress may in fact be inversely related. Religious belief can potentially hold back progress and economic growth.

“As we continue to grasp futilely to religion--a rapidly fading institution --we threaten the stability of our economy and government.”

Regimes like the Taliban and extremist groups like ISIS, prove that religious divisiveness can entirely halt a country’s social progress. An example of these economic limitations occurred in India’s Padmanabhaswamy Temple, where nearly 22 billion dollars of gold and jewelry treasures were uncovered. Because of religious resistance, there was no monetization and use of the treasure toward India’s growing trade deficit. This is devastating because less than 20 feet from the temple were workers who make less than a dollar a day.

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The Bible and other religious texts simply do not line up with modern values. Most are aware of the biblical passages that promote the keeping of slaves, the murder of homosexuals and adulterers, the selling of children and other such things which have no relevance to today’s civilized society. We do not need religion to determine morality like we might have in the past. In fact, religious fervor has led to the most immoral, violent and bloody events in history including 9/11 and many other terrorist attacks, the Holocaust, and all religious wars and inquisitions throughout history. Organized religion pits many denominations against each other, inciting violence and argument, while a general sense of spirituality would not.

The main arguments for many of the most divisive issues in the United States comes down to religion with abortion, same-sex marriage, and education. If the separation of church and state was truly a tangible ideal in America, marriage equality would have been secured many years ago, but it is not. Therefore it interferes greatly with our attempt at functional government. Even thousands of years after the Bible’s initial publication it continues to influence various aspects of American life from religious freedom laws that allow for discrimination to the restrictions on alcohol sales. According to Pew Research Institute about half of Americans (51%) say they would be less likely to support an atheist candidate for president, showing that people put religious beliefs over rationale. As we continue to grasp futilely to religion--a rapidly fading institution--we threaten the stability of our economy and government. I acknowledge the human need for faith and spirituality but we as a society can find a better mechanism than the flawed idea of organized religion.

Religion is Irrelevant

OPINION Waking Up in Trump’s America

T h a n k s g i v i n g B r e a k

Michael Rodriguez guest writer

Eva Hadjiyanis staff writer

art by Katie Schiller

Thanksgiving is a widely-celebrated holiday during which families spend time together and enjoy a home cooked meal. It is a time for giving thanks and counting your blessings.

Every year I look forward to Thanksgiving break because it is time away from school work during which I have the opportunity to enjoy the end of fall and catch up on sleep.

My family makes a yearly trip to New York City to visit my extended family. Usually we go for the whole school week and have a very busy schedule. This year however, there is not enough time to enjoy a stress free vacation for Thanksgiving.

For the first time in my education at Edina, Thanksgiving break has been shortened by two days, spanning Wednesday Nov. 23 to Friday Nov. 25. This decision is one that many other schools around the country have transitioned to, but seems unfair to Edina High School students, who are used to a week-long break. Students will be compensated with two more days off in the spring. Nevertheless, I believe that having a shorter Thanksgiving break will negatively impact the lives of EHS students.

A long Thanksgiving break gives students the opportunity for the reunion of family members. Many families are spread across the country so in order to spend time with together, Thanksgiving has become a big travel holiday. In fact, Thanksgiving is always one of the busiest travel days of the year. Now with only three days off, opportunities for travel are limited, and cross country trips have to be shorter, leading to less family time.

The other main advantage of a longer Thanksgiving break is a rest from the stress of the school year. One week off is a much needed break from the constant load of work that high school students carry. The rate of anxiety for teens during school is extremely high, and a long break gives us time to recharge. The two additional days we are getting off in the spring won’t give us the same opportunity to rest as a longer break would. These extra days off in the spring will surely be spent on homework or studying. A week-long break does significantly more than give students time to finish schoolwork; it gives students time to catch up on much needed rest.

The truth is, shortening Thanksgiving break is a regrettable decision. The short break will force EHS students to choose between family time and homework time. My advice to everyone is to enjoy your time with your family because these family-oriented breaks are few and far between. Setting some time aside during the limited break to be with your family will improve your mental well being; it is alright to look up from the books for a little time. Hopefully this is not a permanent decision and next year the calendar will go back to a longer break.

art by Katie Schiller

art by Katie Schiller

On November 9th I woke up and turned on the TV to confirm that what I feared was true; America had elected Donald Trump to the highest office in our country. I turned the TV off immediately. As I began my day, I grappled with the uncertainty of my future and my place in Donald Trump’s America.

I mentally catalogued the countless assaults on LGBTQ+ rights that have occurred at the hands of now Vice President-Elect Mike Pence and felt a crushing sense of fear. Truly, the worst kind of fear. Not the kind of giddy anticipation of something that is going to jump out at you or shock you, but rather the kind of fear that slowly descends upon you. In a word, I felt small.

Once at school, my fear gave way to sickness as I listened to the stories of my peers. Women who are afraid to wear the hijab to school. Students who are uncertain of their parents’ safety in America. On Twitter, a growing thread called “Day 1 in Trump’s America” chronicled the countless hate crimes that followed in the wake of Trump’s victory. As I synthesized each of these stories and events, I took solace in the fact that many around me were also mourning in fear and confusion.

As the day progressed, I started feeling frustration towards those who did not share this fear. While I had always considered the devastating consequences of a Trump victory, I never expected how personal it would feel. As I passed by smiling faces and heard giggling voices in the hallway, I felt infuriated by many of my classmates’ apathy towards what was going on around them. Yes, I do have a very personal stake in this election and dread the likely rollback of LGBTQ+ rights that is to come. However, the better part of my outrage and fear is rooted in the compassion I feel towards my fellow classmates whom the Trump campaign has also targeted. But, as anger turned to motivation, I realized that this passion is what will fuel our fight for the next two, four, or--God forbid--eight years until we start to see some change.

On November 8th, just before my mom and I entered our polling place, I exclaimed with a sense of unwavering patriotism, “Let’s go do some democracy!” That day, it meant proudly filling in some ovals.

Today, it means we act. From a very young age, we are all urged to do what is “right” and “good.” I feel a rock hard allegiance to that goal. Sadly, that spirit of “doing good” appears to be lost right now.

So, we’ve got work to do. As someone who has worked for three summers supporting political campaigns and watching first hand how energy and organization can make a difference, I am ready to get started. Grassroots engagement is our anthem, and tolerance our rallying cry. As we refuse to yield, we cannot let our anger escape us or our motivation falter. We have the strength to bend our nation in the direction we want it to go, but only if we work together as one unstoppable force. It’s time to roll up our sleeves, and get in the ring.

B l u e s

Absence Policy Unexcusable Colette Bruder print copy editor

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the school year when we both got sick I could afford to take ample time to recover when they were forced to go to school breaking the school’s own school guidelines which state that students should be kept home “If they feel ill enough that he/she would not be able to benefit from being at school.”

However, it should not matter what the reason is for your school absence. As long as students are caught up on the material in the classes they are missing and maintaining a certain GPA or grade in the class they are absent from they should be able to miss as much school as they want to without the threat of an attendance contract.

art by Gillian Mousseau

Edina High School’s attendance policy places unfair requirements on students. During the typical school year EHS students are allotted unlimited excused absences, unlimited school activity absences and a cumulative total of nine limited excused and unexcused absences per school year. But what are the criteria for deciding these various categories? The types of absences seem quite arbitrary and outdated. For example, according to the EHS student handbook a “death in the student’s immediate family or of a close friend or relative” is considered an excused absence while a “serious illness in the student’s immediate family” is only considered to be a limited excused absence. The two situations on the surface appear very similar but are treated extremely differently by the Edina administration. In the first situation, students are allotted ample time to spend grieving over the loss of a loved one without fear of going the nine days per year absence limit. In the second circumstance, students are extremely limited in the amount of school they can miss to visit a sick family member.

Furthermore, EHS students who “reaches nine combined limited excused and unexcused absences in an individual class during a semester” or “who reach three unexcused absences in an individual class” are forced onto attendance contracts.

These students “will be required to participate in a conference with the building administrator or designee. The student and administrator will develop and sign an attendance contract stating the next unexcused absence in the particular class hour will result in lost credit and a study hall placement for the remainder of the term.” Attendance contracts are binding documents mandating that the student attends the class in question no matter what the student’s overall GPA is or the grade they hold in the class. This means students who have a 4.0 GPA with straight A’s who happens to miss too much school due to unforeseen circumstances are forced into an attendance contract.

Among these students are people who participate in nonschool sponsored athletics or academic activities. Between Orchestra and Model United Nations, I missed over two weeks of school last year. However, since these activities were sponsored by the high school and my attendance was marked as a “school activity,” they did not count towards my nine allotted absences. My friends who participate in non-school sponsored sports like figure skating missed roughly the same amount of time while retaining high GPAs and were either forced or threatened by the EHS administration to be placed on an attendance contracts. Both my friends and I missed roughly the same amount of school but I was treated significantly better both by teachers and the attendance office. This meant later in

CULTURE

Indoor Plant Palooza

Rip Off Recipes Anne Amen online copy editor

Christina Orth public relations editor

photo by Christina Orth

Let me warn you: once you buy one indoor plant, there’s no turning back. With their photogenic looks, limited needs, and health benefits, they’re the perfect addition to any space. It is no surprise that the indoor plants are everywhere these days: social media, IKEA, your great-aunt’s bathroom, and your neighborhood cafe.

Ideal indoor plants include aloe vera, orchids, and peace lilies that clean and filter the air naturally and inexpensively. Aloe vera is a type succulent that requires minimal care.

It produces a slimy gel common in the cosmetic, pharmaceutical, and food industries and helps clear benzene and formaldehyde from your space. Orchids are common in Chinese medicinal practices for relaxation and better eyesight, and helps filter xylene and toluene from the air. Peace lilies are one of the few air purifiers that flowers. It filters acetone, formaldehyde, benzene, trichloroethylene from the air while absorbing toluene and xylene.

Here are a few tips and tricks to take care of your plants. Succulents are functional and forgiving decorations that thrive when placed in indirect light. Humid Minnesotan summers means that you should not water them as often, but you should water the soil approximately every seven to ten days. Allow the soil to dry out between waterings, and water more frequently in the winter. Place your aloe vera in a sunny spot and let the soil dry before you replenish it with water. The best way to water your orchid is by placing an ice cube in the pot, and since your air plants should not be placed in soil they will love a nice soak once a week for about ten minutes. If your plant looks unhealthy or you’re unsure how to take care of your new plant, read up on your plant’s natural environment. Common mistakes include over watering or under watering your plant, placing it in an area with too little or too much sun, moving it too often, or too much air conditioning which leads to a lack of humidity.

Shopping for plants that thrive in indoor conditions is a part of the fun. Start by looking for your new indoor plant at an outdoor farmer’s market. You’ll find a great variety and snag the best deals while drifting from stall to stall, and vendors give practical insight on care. Unfortunately, farmer’s markets are seasonal or they might not offer what you’re looking for, so a good alternative to hunt down your perfect succulent is at Sunnyside Gardens. Shop local and feel good about your purchase knowing they treat their plants well. They Christina’s lovley indoor plants offer pre-made arrangements and other various indoor plants which make for an effortless gift. Finally, you may not expect to find plants year round in a sunless warehouse, but IKEA is always full of surprises. They have cacti, aloe vera, orchids, and succulents all at a reasonable price. Another surprise are the pots; even if you’re not at IKEA for a plant, their pots are inexpensive and minimalistic.

These stores are just a few of the numerous places selling plants in the Twin Cities; start your collection today and reap the benefits of these wonderful plants.

With fall in full swing, the leaves are turning color, the air is getting brisker, and sweaters start to emerge from the depths of closets. All of these are classic hallmarks of the changing seasons, but nothing is more iconically autumnal than the pumpkin, apple cider, and caramel flavored drinks that emerge on coffee shop menus around the country. Making the pilgrimage to Caribou or Starbucks in search of the perfect Pumpkin Spice Latte is admirable, but sometimes strenuous activities such as leaving the house and speaking to other humans don’t seem worth it. Never fear. You can still maintain your perfect fall beverage aesthetic with this ultimate list of make-it-at-home recipes for signature coffee shop finds.

Caribou Apple Blast: This drink is easy to make, and odds are, you already have most of the ingredients in your fridge. Also, this drink lacks coffee, making it perfect for groups with varying tastes. The overall effect is similar to being able to drink an apple pie. You will need: Apple cider Caramel sauce Cinnamon Whipped cream (optional) Directions: Heat caramel sauce until soft. Set aside. Fill a mug with apple cider and microwave until hot (approximately 1 minute). Stir in a heaping spoonful of caramel sauce until completely blended. Add cinnamon to taste. Top with whipped cream.

Starbucks Salted Caramel Mocha: Slightly more labor-intensive, this drink has a good balance of coffee and mocha flavors that blend together for a rich, sweet beverage. *Note: do not use the measurements on your coffee pot to determine amount of coffee. Use a liquid measuring cup to determine amounts. Optional: use an espresso maker to brew coffee, then stir in milk. You will need: ¾ cup brewed coffee ½ cup milk Chocolate sauce or solid chocolate Pinch coarse salt 1 tsp caramel syrup Directions: Brew ¾ cup coffee. Set aside. Heat and froth ½ cup milk. Melt 4 spoonfuls of chocolate sauce (or solid chocolate equivalent) with a pinch of coarse salt and 1 tbsp milk. Pour coffee and milk (not the froth) into a mug, stir in melted chocolate sauce until completely blended.

Stir in 1 tsp caramel syrup (Torani’s works well), stir in leftover milk froth.

Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte: Perhaps the most iconic fall drink in existence, the Pumpkin Spice Latte is surprisingly easy to replicate. This recipe has stronger notes of cinnamon and spice than the original, but overall captures the essence of the beverage. You will need: ½ cup brewed coffee 1 cup milk ¼ tsp pumpkin spice (or substitute nutmeg) ¼ tsp ground cinnamon ¼ cup sugar and ¼ cup water (for simple syrup) Directions: Brew ½ cup coffee, set aside. Microwave 1 cup milk and froth until surface is entirely foam (aprox. 1.5 min). Add coffee to mug, then pour in milk, using a spoon to prevent foam from entering mug (Save foam for topping). Stir in ¼ tsp pumpkin spice (or substitute nutmeg), and ¼ tsp cinnamon. Heat ¼ cup water and ¼ cup sugar on the stove, stir until sugar is dissolved to make simple syrup. Add ⅛ cup simple syrup to coffee and milk mixture. Spoon leftover milk foam on top of drink.

Beyond the Bubble: Discoveries in Duluth Looking for something to do for your next family vacation? Planning a trip with your friends? Maybe you just want something to do for the weekend. If so, the city of Duluth is packed with fun and exciting activities for everyone and makes an ideal local getaway.

To begin your fun day in Duluth, make a stop at the Amazing Grace Bakery and Cafe.

Amazing Grace sells local, organic breakfast and other food items. Their bakery consists of fresh baked bread everyday and other items such as pastries and muffins. To boot, they offer free wifi and often have live music in their cafe.

Duluth is a well known fishing and sailing location because it sits along Lake Superior.

Superior is the nation’s largest freshwater lake, and Moon Shadow Sailing is ready to

take you out to explore it. Moon Shadow Sailing is a company that can take up to six passengers at a time sailing on Lake Superior.

Passengers can either sit back and relax or take their turn at the helm. Each sail is two and a half hours long and costs roughly $41 per passenger. If you would like something more romantic, try taking the sunset sail with your special someone.

If you’re looking for something with some sight seeing but want to add a little fun to it, try taking a Duluth Glides Segway Tour. The tours follow a six mile long trail that takes you through Duluth’s Lakeside and Canal Park. Segway tours are a fun way to see the beautiful sights of Duluth and try something new. If you’re a big history buff, you can listen to Duluth’s history through your own audio system throughout the tour. To book a tour, you need to either call in or use their website.

With the holiday season now here, Duluth is hosting the Bentleyville Tour of Lights, America’s largest free walk through lighting display. The tour of lights contains over four million lights and a 128 foot festival tree. The festival will be open at the Bayfront Festival Park until Dec. 26. Bentleyville is free to the public (but donations are welcomed and appreciated). After you venture through the many light displays, stop and warm up by one of their many firepits. Hot chocolate, cookies, popcorn, and marshmallows for toasting will be available for free. On most nights, Santa will be at Bentleyville for everyone to visit. Children ages ten and under who visit Santa will receive a free knit hat and a bag of cookies.

If you really want to try something new, #FLY Duluth is a company that allows the public to see the city from a bird’s eye view. They offer plane tours for up to three

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passengers at a time. The tours are either 30 or 60 minutes long and come in a variety of packages: The Sweetheart tour, the City of Lights, Land o’ Lakes, and the Fall Colors Tour. These different tours given you different sights around the city and will fit your personal needs.

So if you’re looking for something to do during the next school break, try visiting the city of Duluth, where they have plenty of things for you to do each day!

photo courtesy of Google

Max North sports editor

Stop by for freshly baked goods

CULTURE

Puppies Bring Peace to Schools Brooke Sheehy staff writer

by creating a positive environment that continues to last after each session.

Not all schools have faced the amount of trauma that Sandy Hook Elementary and other victims of mass shootings have faced. But even in average schools, therapy dogs have been proven to assist counselors working with students who have anger management issues, and those who tend to be socially disconnected from the rest of the class.

Bullying has been a huge issue in every school across the United States, no matter the age group or type of institution.

If having a therapy dog in schools will save

Pardoning of t h e Tu r key Will Schwinghammer humor editor

art by Katie Schiller

Thanksgiving, as the name may imply, is a time for being thankful for what we have. But what about the turkeys? According to the National Turkey Federation, an estimated 46 million turkeys give their lives each Thanksgiving in order to provide the quintessential traditional meal for people across the country. However, the dinner plate doesn’t have to be the fate for one lucky turkey each year.

Every year, the President of the United States is presented with a Thanksgiving turkey, which he then pardons.

It’s unclear as to when this strange ritual became a tradition. The first recorded pardoning of a turkey by the President was in 1863, when Lincoln pardoned a turkey at his son Tad’s insistence, according to the White House Historical Society. Another commonly named pardoning was Truman’s turkey pardoning in 1947.

Though a common anecdote among turkey enthusiasts, the Truman Library has said that there is no evidence supporting the claim that his pardoning was the start of the tradition. In fact, the Eisenhower Presidential Library even claims that President Eisenhower ate every turkey presented to him. Presidents Kennedy and Nixon both occasionally spared turkeys, but there was never a guarantee as to what the turkey’s fate would be until the big day arrived.

So, if all these Presidents ate at least one of the turkeys presented to them, who actually

art by Gillian Mousseau

Students typically experience high amounts of stress. This stress could come from traumatic events in the school setting, or more commonly from the amount of work it takes to be successful in school. One solution schools have attempted to fix this situation is through the use of therapy dogs.

Therapy dogs have been incorporated into schools that have faced major trauma to help students cope with shock and stress.

In Dec. 2012, a mass shooting took place at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT. Among the victims was six-year-old Charlotte Bacon. After Charlotte’s death, her parents Joel and JoAnn Bacon created Charlotte’s Litter as a way to further honor their daughter. Charlotte’s Litter advocates for the incorporation of animal assisted

activities with therapy dogs in schools and in other public institutions. They help connect schools with resources, information and direction about how to adopt a suitable dog therapy program.

While therapy dogs may have been initially used as a resource to help traumatized students, they have been proven to help students in the average school setting physically, socially, emotionally, cognitively and environmentally, according to the Australian Companion Animal Council. Interaction with trained dogs in the classroom can lower blood pressure, aid in pain management and provides motivation and opportunities to get active. It creates a focused setting with more interaction between students while promoting a higher self esteem. Proven to trigger memory through a variety of activities, therapy dogs decrease the feeling of a lifeless setting

at least one student from committing suicide each year due to bullying, incorporating them into schools should be an option for all levels of education.

Therapy dogs are a possibility in any school setting, but questions and concerns come up when introducing this radical idea.

Many concerns amongst faculty and parents include allergies, supervision of students and animal, maintenance costs, fears of dogs, and odors. In comparison, hospitals and other health centers have begun to use therapy dogs, and their requirements tend to be more demanding than that of schools.

“The reality is that all of these objections can be adequately met whеn schools dо thеir homework, prepare teachers аnd students properly, communicate сlеаrlу with parents, аnd work with qualified аnd competent therapy dog organizations,” said Dr. Pippa Elliot.

Activism in Hollywood

started the tradition? According to the White House Historical Association, President George H. W. Bush made the pardoning of the turkey a permanent tradition. Every year since 1989, the President has spared the life of the bird that would otherwise have been his Thanksgiving dinner.

The lucky birds, unfortunately, don’t live long after their pardoning. Turkeys presented to the President are bred and fed to be eaten.

As a result, they’re very plump and delicious.

The side effect of their glorious tastiness is that they’re horribly unhealthy. PETA has even called on President Obama to cancel the turkey pardoning, as they claim that the ceremony only supports industrial farming and cruelty towards farm animals. According to PETA, almost every turkey President Obama has pardoned died less than a year after the ceremony. Despite this, it seems unlikely that the tradition will end any time soon.

The annual Turkey Presentation and Pardoning Ceremony is a fairly recent tradition that is slightly controversial while remaining a charming and endearing Thanksgiving tradition at the same time. So where do turkeys go after the President saves them from their fate?

There’s no official home for pardoned turkeys, but there are a few usual spots the turkeys end up. They used to live out their remaining year(s) at Frying Pan Park, according to an article for CNN by Dan Merica. Some later turkeys were sent to Mount Vernon, George Washington’s plantation, until they stopped accepting turkeys to maintain historical accuracy. A few turkeys made it to Disney theme parks, but now turkeys live in luxury at Morven Park, a former Virginia governor’s estate. Though only a select few turkeys have been honored with a presidential pardon, it’s a classic tradition that no Thanksgiving would be complete without.

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Nikki Lund art editor Forget the Oscars, Grammys, and Golden Globes. Some celebs are looking to use their influence to make a real difference in the world. From global poverty to animal rights, stars like Leonardo DiCaprio, Shailene Woodley, and Angelina Jolie are using their stardom for the greater good.

Actor Leonardo Dicaprio is a perfect example of a celebrity using their celebrity status for good. In 1998, Leonardo DiCaprio established The Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation with the mission of protecting the world’s last wild places. In 2014, DiCaprio stated that “clean air, water, and a livable climate are inalienable human rights,” and these goals are the foundation’s main focus. Through partnerships, the foundation supports projects that protect vulnerable wildlife from extinction, while at the same time, restoring balance to threatened ecosystems and communities. LDF’s grantmaking program encompasses six focus areas: wildlife conservation, climate change, indigenous rights, marine conservation, innovative solutions, and public advocacy. You can get involved by donating to the foundation online and supporting the projects, or sharing the information that the foundation and DiCaprio provides. The LDF makes powerful videos that explain their mission and use them to educate people.

Recently, a large number of celebrities are joining the fight against construction of the Dakota Access oil pipeline. Actress Shailene Woodley faces trial for her participation in the protests. Demonstrations supporting the Standing Rock Sioux tribe’s opposition to the pipeline have been going on for months, and more than 260 people have been arrested in North Dakota because of the protests. Many activists fear that this 1,200 mile pipeline could harm the cultural sites and the drinking water for the Standing Rock Sioux tribe.

The state and pipeline company deny that any sacred grounds and sovereign land has been disturbed during construction. Woodley, who was arrested Oct. 10 and charged with criminal trespassing and engaging in a riot, could possibly face two months in jail and $3,000 in fines if convicted of these two misdemeanors. She is expected to stand trial in January. Woodley claimed in a Facebook video, that police told her she was arrested “because I’m well-known [and] because I have 40,000 people watching.” Other protesters were reportedly allowed to leave with no charges filed against them.

Angelina Jolie is best know as an actress, but she is also involved in charity work and activism. Being an Oscar-winning actress and also a professional model, she has never rested on her laurels. Jolie is noted for her humanitarian efforts, for which she has received a Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award and an honorary damehood of the Order of St Michael and St George (DCMG), among many other honors. She promotes many causes, such as conservation, education, and women’s rights, and is often recognized for her advocacy on behalf of refugees as a Special Envoy for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR). As a public figure, Jolie has been cited as one of the most influential and powerful people in the American entertainment industry. In 2015, Jolie attended the African Union summit, and spoke about the need for a stronger global effort to end violence against women. The U.N. special envoy, added that crimes against women are “still treated as a lesser crime and lower priority.”

SPORTS

Hornet Athlete College Commitments Athlete of the Month: Emma Bailey staff writer

art by Nikki Lund

Edina has always been closely associated with sports.

We’ve produced great players in the past, and we continue to do so today. Whether we’re talking on land, water, or ice, it’s clear Edina High School has great athletes, and we aren’t the only ones who think so. Students from various grades and sports are being scouted by colleges; some have already committed to their future schools.

Rachel Wittmer, an EHS senior, recently committed to the University of Notre Dame for swimming. “I think it was the perfect balance of a place where I could excel academically and athletically,” said Wittmer. The young athlete has been swimming since she was four years old, and has dedicated her life to swimming ever since. “It’s kind of a love-hate relationship. It’s hard and definitely takes dedication, but at the same time, my best friends are swimmers and I love to put my energy into swimming,” said Wittmer. Though she is guaranteed a spot at the school right now, Notre Dame is able, like most schools, to pull her scholarship at anytime if her GPA drops significantly. It doesn’t seem to be a concern for Wittmer, who is a dedicated student. “As long as I keep working hard in school I should be good,” said Wittmer.

Jack Ebner, another EHS senior, is committed to Miami University in Oxford, Ohio for golf. Ebner has been golfing for a while, but he really got serious about it in his freshman year, when he made the EHS golf team. Since committing, Ebner has been talking with the coach at Miami weekly about golf, school, and life in general. Though he got offers from a few other schools, he knew Miami was the right place for him once they showed an interest. “I really liked the school.

The campus is super cool, the coach is a really nice guy, and all the guys that I met on the team are people I could see myself being friends with,” said Ebner.

On the ice is Ben Brinkman, a sophomore at EHS who committed to the University of Minnesota for hockey as a freshman. “I’ve always been a Gopher Hockey fan,” said Brinkman, who is expected to begin playing in the 20192020 season. Though he also plays football and baseball, hockey is Brinkman’s number one sport. “I’ve been playing hockey since I could walk,” said Brinkman. He plays every year, all year, loving every minute. Since Brinkman is so young, he doesn’t talk with the University as often as most older committed athletes do. “They’re not allowed to contact me until January of my sophomore year,” said Brinkman.

As for his schoolwork after committing, Brinkman has been working increasingly hard in hopes of getting into the University’s Carlson School of Management.

Edina has turned out many great athletes over the years and college commitments are remarkably common these days. Though these athletes are pretty much set, it comes as no surprise that they still continue to work exceedingly hard academically and athletically, demonstrating the unyielding dedication that Hornets are famous for.

Through All the Years, Baseball’s Still Got It Tanner Jones opinion editor

art by Katie Schiller

On November 2, the Chicago Cubs defeated the Cleveland Indians in the 112th annual Major League Baseball World Series. Their victory ended a 108 year championship drought and brought the first Cubs title to Chicago in three generations. 2016’s World Series, a seven game epic defined by broken records, brought the highest viewership to the MLB in over a decade, according to the New York Times. This was a rare feat for baseball, in recent years the NFL has drawn young fans away from the sport and doomed it to decline. But when the Cubs and Indians faced off, teams that have been the laughing stock of baseball for years, fans seemed to come out of the woodwork.

In times of need, it seems, baseball is there to bring comfort to the American people. And with the outcome of the presidential race just now setting in, after a year of unprecedented hostilities on the campaign trail, having someone to root for may have been just what the nation needed. With a combined 176 years between championships for the Cubs and Indians, the two underdogs offered us just that. In Cleveland and Chicago, fans knew history would be made regardless of who they supported.

For generations, baseball has boosted morale in America. During the Great Depression, the sport saw its golden age with domination of the Yankees propelled by Hall of Famers Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, and Joe DiMaggio.

Fans flocked to ballparks across the country, eager to see what their favorite players would do next. At a time when unemployment pushed 25%, Americans turned to baseball for relief.

A decade later, Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier and helped spur a national movement toward integration. A

Rookie of the Year, six time All-Star, and MVP, Robinson made the discussion about equality in sports unavoidable.

Other professional sports had to keep up.

After the September 11th attacks in 2001, Baseball again captured the American consciousness. Mike Piazza’s iconic home run at Shea Stadium a week after the tragedy was greeted by tears and “U-S-A” chants. The following month the Yankees won the American League pennant, embodying the resilience of New York City and its people.

2016 has been a year of strife and turmoil for many Americans. Racial tensions are at levels unseen for decades, mass shootings seem to occur almost monthly, and political divisiveness is increasingly pertinent. And in this moment, Americans--from both parties--again turned to our nation’s pastime. Since its mythical foundation in 1839, Baseball has had a Special relationship with the United States.

Both in pushing social boundaries and serving as a kind of therapy for fans, Baseball has been there when we most needed it. Despite its falling popularity, the sport remains enmeshed within the fabric of our society. And last month-a week before the most divisive election in memory-baseball again helped bring some unity.

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Emma Seymour Swim and Dive

Ellery Mahlum feature editor Emma Seymour is a talented student athlete who can juggle school and sports with ease. She is a Captain on the Edina Swim Team, a committed member of her local jewish choir, Hazamir, and was even on the 2016 Homecoming Court. Her main events in the pool include the 200 Individual Medley, 100 Breaststroke, and occasionally the 500 Free. She has been on the Edina Varsity Swim Team since freshman year and is one of four captains this year. “I didn’t really think of myself as a leader before, but it’s been kind of fun to just see how much I’ve grown this year being a captain,” said Seymour. Her favorite parts about being a captain include getting the younger swimmers involved, spreading team spirit, and getting everyone pumped for meets. “Me and Sophie Anderson are in charge of all the events, volunteers, and we coordinate the progressive dinner and the team dinners,” said Seymour. Being a Captain is a lot of fun but also hard work, and Seymour enjoys every minute of it.

In the off-season, Seymour also swims for Edina Gators, an independent swim club, but really enjoys the high school season because swimmers from all different clubs finally get to compete together instead of against each other. “Edina Gators and Aquajets are normally rivals and it’s super fun that we all can be together,” said Seymour. She also enjoys the team aspect of the high school season, “It’s not really very individualized, it’s nice that we can just all be a team…we just wanna make sure that everyone is doing well,” she said.

There are many fun traditions that the swim team takes part in and the swimmers look forward to every year. Some of Seymour’s favorites include team cheers and getting pumped at the beginning of every race. “Everyone’s just like screaming at the top of their lungs and it’s super fun,” said Seymour. Highlights of the season include making t-shirts with her team for Tru Team State and coming up with a hashtag, along with the week leading up to sections and state are other. “We all pull pranks on the coaches... then state week is also super fun because all of the middle schoolers, like seventh, eighth, and ninth, they like put on a big show everyday for us… they kind of pull pranks on the older kids so it’s a fun role reversal,” said Seymour. These traditions are sure to be missed next year, but she definitely wants to continue her swimming career in college.

Seymour plans to swim D3 in college, so she can continue her career in the sport she loves without it totally dominating her time. There are two colleges she is debating between right now. “I haven’t exactly told which coach I would want to swim for but I really like Tufts and Cornell,” she said. Seymour is a remarkable swimmer and confident leader, bringing her talent and energy into making her last season on the Edina Swim Team the best it can be.

The always smiling Emma Seymour

HUMOR

Prep Hour Procrastination Cream of Construction Soup Rebecca Edgington human resources editor

Greyson Mize staff writer

As the fall season comes to an end, your friends at Zephyrus would like to take some time to share with you a delicious dish that really captures the essence of Edina in November. This low-carb recipe takes only a few minutes, and is sure to become a family favorite.

Ingredients: 1 cup of light cream 1 ½ yellow onions, chopped 1-2 garlic cloves, diced or minced 3 cups chicken broth 2 tablespoons butter 4 tablespoons vegetable oil 1 teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon pepper 4 orange barrels (look on Tracy Avenue– if none can be found, cones are a suitable substitute) 2 Bobcat S570 Skid Steer Loaders (can be found at either Jerry’s Foods OR in the giant ditch adjacent to Edina High School– take your pick!)

5 live turkeys (don’t bother going to the store for this one, a drive around any Edina block will leave you with more than enough of this ingredient!)

1 Zephyrus newspaper Instructions: Chop barrels into cubes.

Heat vegetable oil and butter on low heat in six quart pot.

Add barrel cubes, garlic, and onion and sauté on medium heat until brown, then drain pot of toxic plastic fluid and set aside for later.

Before disassembling your Bobcat S570 Skid Steer Loaders, make sure you have a pot that can fit this large ingredient. Grilling construction equipment takes away from the unique homemade flavor stovetop cooking provides.

Bring Bobcat parts and chicken stock to a simmer in a 36 quart thick bottomed pot stirring periodically for three minutes, then reduce heat to low and stir in barrel cubes for an additional two minutes.

Let soup settle for 15 minutes. While you are waiting, bring turkeys to the nearest busy road (the busier the better!) and release them in front of a fast line of traffic.

Add salt and pepper and stir on medium heat.

Take soup off heat and purée in a conventional blender until smooth, then return to pot and whisk in cream. To thin out the soup you can add additional chicken stock or water.

Finally, deposit your Zephyrus newspaper directly into the nearest garbage can, and your dish is ready!

art by Gillian Mousseau

Oh, the free period. A beloved time of day for students and faculty alike.

The perfect opportunity to grab a snack, take a breather and chat with peers.

Edina High School’s faculty loves their prep hours. It’s a nice break in between busy classes and meetings to grade some papers and plan a lesson or two right? Wrong.

Michael Roddy, Physical Universe and AP Physics teacher at Edina High School proudly boasts to Zephyrus about how he spends his free period. “I live for finding Hello Kitty collectable items on Ebay. I’ve been collecting ever since I was a young boy living in my home village of Schittgablerstrasse, Germany where I was the most successful collector in town. I continue collecting to keep the tradition and culture alive,” he said. “If I am ever Kittied out I like to do some deep cleaning and really scrub my white board. Mr. Weiland, who shares my room, has been known to wipe it with his greasy hands despite me asking him over and over to please refrain from doing this.”

Heidi Mathers teaches AP Psychology and World History here at EHS and is crazy for “The Walking Dead.” She spends her free period catching up on the show. “Despite the gore in the most recent season I have pushed through and continued to support the show. I’ve been binging on it ever since it came out. It’s my dirty secret.”

English teacher Joelle Reiling let us in on how she spends her free time.

“I hate to admit it but I am a terrible adrenaline junkie. During my free

period I just can’t resist the call of Youtube. I look up all kinds of videos on bungee jumping, skydiving, or cliff jumping. Since there isn’t enough time in my free period to really get out there and get my fix for the day, the best I can do is surf the internet for some adrenaline instead of surfing some real waves,” she said.

Steve Sanger is a swing dancing enthusiast and a Biology teacher at EHS. “I love practicing my steps in my free time. I need to prepare, I’ll be competing in the national swing dancing competition in a few months and I haven’t even shined my dancing shoes!

It’s been very stressful,” he said.

Jenn Carter is the Dean of Students here at EHS, and keeps attendance in check. “I really don’t have much free time due to all these slackers skipping class but when I have a few minutes I really do enjoy poking my head into Doc Loc’s office, sending an invite to Pretasky, blasting some of that sweet ‘Hollaback’ Girl and having a good old fashion dance party,” she said.

Darryl Chrisp, or “Stretch” as his friends know him, is a security guard at EHS. When he isn’t busy keeping us safe and giving out detention slips like Oprah gives out cars, he keeps up with his guilty pleasure. “I am obsessed with Pinterest. It’s not something I like to admit but admitting I have a problem is the first step to recovery. I have been a Pinterest enthusiast for about three years now and things are only getting worse. One place where endless ideas can be shared? It is impossible to resist the pinner’s urge. My favorite topic to search is quilting. I could spend days scrolling through the endless ways to stitch and sew those little fabric squares,” he said.

Neighborhood Turkeys on the Lam

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Suddenly, the sliding glass door of the house in front of them swung open. A plump, bald man towered over them. “Haha, I will have free turkey dinner for the rest of my life!” shouted the man.

Just as all the turkeys were saying their final prayers, four police officers stormed into the backyard. “Put your wings behind your head,” shouted the officers. “You are all under arrest.”

“What’s going on?” exclaimed the bald man.

“We received multiple reports of these birds jaywalking and trespassing on private property,” said one of the officers. “They must face the consequences of their actions.”

As the police officers handcuffed the turkeys, Turkey Tim proclaimed, “I never thought I would’ve been so happy to go to jail!”

Turkeys fleeing Thanksgiving

by Gillian Mousseau

“Hey! I’m in fantastic shape, thank you very much,” exclaimed Turkey Tim. “Well, that’s debatable, but that’s beside the point. I’m trying to say that if you lose weight, your captors might set you free On a brisk November afternoon, a group of crusty old because nobody likes a skinny turkey for Thanksgiving dinner,” turkeys jaywalked across Valley View Road, oblivious to the responded Turkey Tony. oncoming traffic. “Yo, Tom,” said Turkey Todd as a Ford “Fine,” uttered Turkey Tim. However, as he was about to pickup truck blared by. “My Facebook feed is looking unusually start doing pushups, the only form of exercise known to turkeys, dead. I wonder what all my Facebook friends are up to at this he remembered that his wings were stuck in the Chinese finger time of year.” trap. “Ok, not possible. Next idea,” said Turkey Tim. Before Turkey Tom could respond, he noticed Turkey “What if we disguised you as a peacock?” said Turkey Toby.

Tim wandering away from the flock, captivated by a line of “That’s not a bad idea. After all, my great-grandfather was cranberries on the ground. The cranberries led to the backyard of the house in front of them. “Something’s not right,” thought a peacock. That’s where my handsome gene comes from,” said Turkey Tom. He smelled the familiar scent of mashed potatoes, Turkey Tim. “It’s also where your lazy gene comes from,” retorted gravy, and cornbread stuffing. Finally it dawned on Turkey Turkey Toby.

Tom. How could he have forgotten? Thanksgiving season The group of turkeys then began to cover Turkey Tim with was upon them. “Turkey Tim, stop!” he yelled, but it was too anything they could find: grass, flowers, rotten jack-o-lanterns, late. Turkey Tim let out one fateful gobble as he was caught even some dog feces was thrown into the mix. Then, the birds by the oldest trick in the book, the Chinese finger trap. “Save stood back to admire their work. “Well, they definitely won’t yourselves. It’s only a matter of time before I am turned into think you’re a peacock, but they might mistake you for a dodo Thanksgiving dinner,” declared Turkey Tim when the flock bird and send you off to a museum somewhere,” said Turkey started to run to his rescue.

Toby.

“No! Turkeys never leave each other behind!” announced “This is hopeless!” wailed Turkey Tim. “Instead of stuffing Turkey Tom. “Does anyone have any ideas on how to help my face on Thanksgiving, my face is going to be stuffed!

Turkey Tim escape?”

Why couldn’t the pilgrims have eaten chickens or ducks for “We could try to get him to lose weight,” suggested Thanksgiving?”

Turkey Tony.

Ben Gustafson in-depth editor