Issue 4 - December

www.edinazephyrus.com

November 22, 2016| 37:3

TABLE OF CONTENTS

What’s Inside?

News.........................4 Minneapolis PD new body cam policy, and more Politics......................5 More on the aftermath of the 2016 presidential election Features.....................6 Meet the gingers of Edina, Young Moderates, and more In-depth...............8 & 9 Morality 101 Features...................10 Meet EHS’ cutest couples Opinion............11 & 12 What is an appropriate response to political defeat?

Sports............................................15 Athlete of the Month Patrick Roos and all things Nordic

Culture............13 & 14 Humor...........................................16 Learn more about the The annual Zephyrus holiday card and Mandela Effect and the best gifts for people you hate! solstice celebrations 2

EDITORIAL

Don’t Stress Over Stress Dear Edina High School,

The season of stress is upon us. It’s something that affects us all. Seniors are stressing about college and everything that comes with. Their stress is rubbing off onto the juniors, making them stressed about their own college process. And the sophomores, well I really don’t know what you guys are stressed about, but you all seem stressed. The Merriam-Webster defines stress as “a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.” But I don’t view stress as a terrible thing. I know, I know, it may seem counterintuitive to talk about stress in a positive light, but hear me out. Stress is key to survival. It tells you what’s important to you in your life. Stressed about that test next hour? That means you want to do well on it, which is good. It motivates you to succeed.

Good stress, also known in the scientific community as eustress, may be just the thing you need to get the job done. Think about a deadline: It’s staring you in the face, and it’s not going to go away. Stress is going to stimulate your behavior to manage the situation effectively, rapidly, and more productively. The key is viewing stressful situations as a challenge that you can meet, rather than an overwhelming roadblock. Stress can also help show you what you need to cut out of your life. Say a friend or significant other is causing you immense stress over everything. If you’re having more stress than fun in the relationship, maybe it’s not meant to be.

Although it can be sometimes be a blessing, stress can be a horrible curse. The bad form of stress is called distress. Yes, in the last paragraph I did talk about how stress can be good, but it’s not all good. In fact, it can be quite bad for you in some cases. Emotional and physical stress that stays around for weeks or months can weaken the immune system and cause high blood pressure, fatigue, depression, anxiety and even heart disease. Too much stress can cause relationship problems, school problems and much more. It just doesn’t do you good in high amounts.

Think of stress as a scale. On one side you have all your problems like grades, college, family, friends, etc. On the other side, you have solutions to the problems. You don’t want one side to be higher than the other, you want to have the 2 sides equal. Some might think that you would want the solutions side to be higher, but this is where the good part of stress comes into play. If that side of the scale was higher, then life would honestly be kinda boring. You wouldn’t have to face any challenges or come up with new ideas on how to fix things. The creative part of you would be lost. The key is balance. The balance between problems and solutions. The balance between positive and negative stress.

There are many ways to help with stress. The place to begin is the mental side of things. Start with the 5 by 5 rule. If it’s not going to matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes upset by it. This can apply with friend drama, school, tests, that kind of stuff. It may be hard to start thinking like this, but in the end it really can help reduce your stress levels and make you feel more balanced. Next, be present. Slow down. Take 5 minutes and focus on only one behavior with awareness. Notice how the air feels on your face when you’re walking and how your feet feel hitting the ground. Enjoy the texture and taste of each bite of food. When you spend time in the moment and focus on your senses, you should feel less tense. Now, try to maintain a positive attitude and make an effort to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. This in turn can make you see life in a new, brighter way. Happiness really does help in life and this is one way to boost positivity in your life. Smile at someone in the halls, make a new friend, or pet a dog. All lead to happiness, which helps limit stress.

Now onto the physical side. First, take a timeout. Do some yoga, listen to your favorite music, meditate if that’s your thing, or learn some relaxation techniques. Stepping back from the problems that you are facing helps clear your head. Next, try to eat well-balanced meals. Don’t skip meals, because this can only lead to more stress. Do keep healthful, energy-boosting snacks on hand like almonds, fruit, and even a granola bar. Try to limit caffeine, which can aggravate anxiety and trigger panic attacks. Get enough sleep. When stressed, your body needs even more sleep. Yes, this is hard for students, but your body can only handle so much without sleep. Exercise as much as you can to help you feel good and maintain your health, whether this is going to the gym, going to practice, or just a walk around the block. Exercise can help clear your mind. Take some deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly. Count to 10 slowly. Repeat, and count to 20 if necessary.

Please keep in mind that your mental health is important. If you are feeling severely stressed or overwhelmed, talk to someone. Tell friends and family you’re feeling this way, and let them know how they can help you. Talk to a physician or therapist for professional help. Benjamin Franklin famously said, “Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.” Keep the sunlight in you, Edina and try to stress just a little less!

Online

www.edinazephyrus.com Twitter and Instagram: @edinazephyrus YouTube: edinazephyrus Facebook: Zephyrus

On The Cover

Gage Aulik (Cover and In-Depth Art, inspired

by Shutterstock and Salomon Huerta) Katie Manderfeld (Header)

Sincerely, Nikki Lund Art Editor

Zephyrus Staff Editorial Board Lillie Westbrook, print editor in chief Isabel Thompson, online editor in chief Christina Orth, public relations editor Nikki Lund, art editor Colette Bruder, print copy editor Anne Amen, online copy editor Rebecca Edgington, human resources editor Advisor Sally Larkins

Page Editors Jenna Simon, news and politics Ben Gustafson, in-depth Will Schwinghammer, humor Greta Morton, culture Tanner Jones, opinion Max North, sports Ellery Mahlum, features Maren Naegele, features

Staff Writers Lily Jones Eva Hadjiyanis Morgan Sheehy Brooke Sheehy Simone Vaillancourt Matthew Egger Greyson Mize Cecilia Orth Anjali Aralikar Emma Bailey

Photographers Zoe Cheung Josie Al-Najim Grace Wolf Uma Bhati Artists Gage Aulik Sandra Chen Katie Schiller Gillian Mousseau

Zephyrus is a monthly publication produced by students of Edina High School; 6754 Valley View Road; Edina, MN 55439; (952) 848-3800 x3087. Zephyrus is an open forum for student expression that recognizes the First Amendment guarentee of freedom of the press, and abides by Tinker standard. Opinions published in Zephyrus do not necessarily reflect the views of the entire staff, advisor, administration, or entire student body. Submissions and letters are printed based on space available. Anonymous letters may be printed only if a Zephyrus advisor or editor knows the author’s identity.

Letters should be mailed to the school or given to the advisor or a staff member. Zephyrus reserves the right to edit any letters for clarity and length.

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NEWS

Minnesota Police Body Camera Controversy

Rosland Park’s New Inclusive Playground a large donation from an anonymous donor. While the price may seem hefty, the opportunity and benefit of giving kids with disabilities a chance to just be kids who are free to play on a playground and to play with other kids their own age, is priceless.

Many families are benefiting from the opening of the park. The Star Tribune reports that Jenny Garvin, the parent of a 13-year-old girl named Ashley who has cerebral palsy, was able to see her daughter experience ‘climbing’ to the top of the play structure in her wheelchair while being pushed by her father. This is a feat she would not have been able to accomplish without the new playground, and it was definitely not an experience she had been able to enjoy often before.

“I think it’s very isolating some of the time when you have a disability,” Garvin told the Tribune. “Having opportunities to do just regular things outside of therapy... with people that are your own age is nice.

It’s a joyful experience that all kids need.”

While Rosland Park is the first park in Edina to feature an inclusive playground, the trend for these incredible structures is continuously expanding, at least in the Twin Cities. Not only can kids with disabilities experience the joy of playing at the park, but on these playgrounds everyone can feel welcome and invited. photo courtesy of the City of Edina

Edina’s Rosland Park is a popular spot for many young families who are looking to let their kids run wild and let off some energy. However, the park was closed in late September to undergo construction (just like, seemingly, the rest of Edina). After a costly renovation, Rosland Park recently re-opened and now features an ‘Inclusive Playground’ for all.

So, what is an inclusive playground?

It is a playground designed to be inviting to all kids, especially kids who might have disabilities or carry equipment that is usually not permitted or usable in a standard playground. According to the Star Tribune, “Inclusive playgrounds typically include surfaces and wide ramps that are accessible for wheelchairs, as well as sensory activities and equipment such as swings with harnesses.”

The Rosland Park inclusive playground was built with the input of Edina residents, and adheres to local standard safety regulations. Additionally, the park meets the standards set by the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). The ADA became law in 1990, and is a “civil rights law that prohibits discrimination against individuals with disabilities in all areas of public life.”

ADA regulations ensure safety as well as equal opportunity for Edina residents with disabilities.

The park was an expensive project for the city of Edina and cost nearly $300,000. The project was funded through the city’s capital improvement project plan and included Rosland Park’s new inclusive playground opened this fall

Greyson Mize staff writer On May 31, 2016 Minnesota governor Mark Dayton signed a bill into law that allows the general public to view body camera footage if the officer in question causes someone substantial bodily harm. Additionally, if video footage is non-public, any citizen involved in the situation at hand can view it and choose to make it public. Departments choosing to use body cameras are required to mandate written policy that follows state law, and allow citizens in the area to comment on the guidelines before the changes are implemented.

“Officer-worn body cameras are merely a tool for improving police-community relations; they are not a solution in themselves,” said Minneapolis mayor Betsy Hodges in a letter addressed to Minneapolis residents posted July 14. “But body cameras are an important tool, one that will help us continue to transform the relationship between police and community for the better. They are not the final step in transparency, but they are a big step toward it.”

Precincts one and four of the Minneapolis Police department began wearing body cameras in early July 2016, and Hodges anticipates that all precincts will be using the policy by the end of the year.

However, not everyone was happy with Dayton’s bill. “In the revised bill, the public will have access to recordings from body cameras that document police firing a weapon or using force that results in substantial bodily harm. But only once the investigation is over, meaning the police now have the ability to withhold the video for months,” said James Eli Shiffer of the Star Tribune. “Access to bodycam video has become the most significant open government issue of our time.

If cameras are rolling every time an officer responds to a 911 call, all sorts of sticky issues about privacy come up,” he said.

art by Gillian Mousseau

Maren Naegele features editor

While the policy provides benefits for individuals unjustly harmed by police forces, Schiffer points out that the ability of a “subject” in a video to see the footage is a highly situational benefit. “That probably won’t do much good for people in jail. Or dead people,” he said.

Schiffer is not alone opposing the policy.

On Nov. 18, several unions representing 38 officers and eight sergeants in Maplewood filed a lawsuit against Dayton’s body camera bill, the main concern being the lack of communication between the city and the policy department.

“The union has demanded on a couple of occasions to bargain these two specific provisions with the city and the [city officials] have refused to do that to date,” said Timothy Louris, the attorney representing unions representing the Maplewood officers and sergeants. “The bottom line is that these types of working conditions have to be bargained.

They can’t be unilaterally created and implemented by cities,” he said.

Despite criticism, both Minneapolis mayor Betsy Hodges and Police Chief Janee Harteau expressed their support for the policy in a letter posted July 14.

“In other cities, the adoption of body cameras has also resulted in fewer use-of-force complaints,” said Hodges. “Together, we are entering the age of 21st-century policing, and together, we will transform police–community relations in Minneapolis.”

Hate Crimes on the Rise After Election Lily Jones staff writer

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bathroom stall along with “whites only” and “white America” in November. More vulgar messages using racial slurs were written all over the bathroom, making students fearful and uncomfortable in their own school.

Since hate crime laws only punish criminal acts, hate speech can easily be protected under the law. However, instances of vandalism and physical violence can be prosecuted under Minnesota law. While law enforcement is trying to contain the problem, the recent increased tension and division has ignited violent outbursts around the country.

Racist graffiti at Maple Grove High

photo courtesy of kare11.com

In the weeks following the presidential election, there has been an increase in reports of hate crimes across the United States, including racist graffiti, threatening speech, and physical attacks. A hate crime is defined by the FBI as “a criminal offense against a person or property motivated in whole or in part by an offender’s bias against a race, religion, disability, sexual orientation, ethnicity, gender, or gender identity.” According to the most recent data available from the FBI, there was almost one hate crime in America in every hour of every day in 2007 and a total of more than 7,600 reported bias-motivated incidents. The recent increase in reports is attributed to lingering tension from the election as well as extreme political division facing our country today. In response to hate crimes committed by his supposed supporters, President-elect Donald Trump expressed disappointment. “If it helps, I will say this, and I will say right to the cameras: Stop it,” Trump told CBS’ “60 Minutes” in November.

A report last month by researchers at the Center for the Study of Hate and Extremism at California State University found that while hate crimes overall climbed five percent

in 2015, crimes targeting Muslims soared 78 percent, with a comparable increase projected for this year. This spike resembles the increase in hate crimes directed at Muslim Americans after the 9/11 terror attacks. According to the FBI, the number of anti-Muslim hate crime incidents jumped in 2001, from 28 to 481 incidents in the US. The number dropped in the following years, but has never returned to levels reported before the 9/11 attacks. Great Britain saw a similar increase in hate crimes after the recent Brexit vote.

In July 2016, British police recorded a 41 percent increase compared to the same month the year before, according to a Home Office report. In weeks after the election, The Southern Poverty Law Center, which tracks hate crimes, says it has logged more than 200 complaints since the election; officials confirmed that this number is much larger than what is typical.

In Columbus, Ohio, a man banged on the car window while a Muslim woman was driving, and told her, “you don’t belong in this country,” according to the Council on American-Islamic Relations. The University of Pennsylvania has had to deal with online racism affecting their students, issuing a statement saying it was working to find the source of racist messages sent to black freshmen. Closer to home, students at Maple Grove High School in Minnesota found “Trump” written on a

Peaceful Political Protests Christina Orth public relations editor

the nonpartisan study that revealed that in rural counties with electronic voting machines, Hillary Clinton lost consistently (and, Stein thinks, suspiciously) by seven percent. Stein has raised well over double her original goal of $3.5 million to petition for the recount of votes in Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania. But many disagree with Stein’s actions.“[Trump] has, in proper ways, assumed the highest office and he’s done that through the electoral college. Whether or not you like the electoral college, it’s something that is ingrained in our constitution and will remain forever until it is amended,” said Hall. Data shows that recounts rarely reverses election results, in fact, according to the nonpartisan group FairVote, of the 4,687 statewide general elections between 2000 and 2015, only 3 of 27 recounted results were changed.

art by Sandra Chen

In the wake of the 2016 presidential election, many Americans throughout the United States and at Edina High School have been inspired to show their discontent by speaking out and taking action via social media and around school.

Popular responses using the hashtag #NotMyPresident, wearing a safety pin, and supporting Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein’s petition for a recount in Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania.

However, these responses have received criticism from some who think such protests prevent the country from moving forward together.

When it became apparent that Donald Trump had won the electoral college on Nov. 8, people started to using the Twitter hashtag #NotMyPresident to send the message that Trump did not speak for them. Both candidates asked for a smooth transition of power in the emotional aftermath of the election, but the discontent of the Democratic base prompted the further spread of the hashtag and its message has reached students at EHS. “The point of the hashtag is to acknowledge that Trump is the president, but does not stand for what we the people believe is morally right. I acknowledge Trump as my president but until he respects my family, my friends and peers around me, I will not respect or support him as a president. Post-

election my POC friends, my LGBTQ+ friends, and friends with disabilities no longer feel safe and this is not and never will be okay,” said senior Kristie Olson.

Other students believe that at this turning point in our country, we need to support our leaders more than ever. “People simply saying ‘Not My President’ is quite hurtful to our nation. Talking about how a leader didn’t win it or broke the law to win…

It definitely questions the president’s legitimacy which is not okay,” said senior Ned Hall.

Many Americans have also started wearing safety pins to show support for those feeling targeted by president-elect Trump’s rhetoric: minorities, immigrants, women, and members of the LGBTQ+ community. Adapted from a similar protest by the “Stronger In” campaign in the United Kingdom following Brexit, the movement in the United States shares a similar message of solidarity and tolerance.

There are different reasons to don a safety pin, but essentially it advertises that you are an ally to anyone who feels threatened by the recent rhetoric in our political climate. “Wearing this pin is a small sign to show we truly care and instead of taking steps backward in this country, we will rise. We will be there for one another and we will overcome anything no matter what challenge is thrown our way,” said Olson.

Citing concerns about the legitimacy of the election results in key states, Stein has filed for a recount of votes, following

What to Expect from the Republican Majority Congress Matthew Egger staff writer With the term of the 114th Congress of the United States drawing to a close, members of the recently elected 115th Congress are preparing to begin their term next January. In the 2016 election, the Republicans took a majority in both the Senate and the House of Representatives, the same result that occurred in the 2014 midterm election. With a Republican controlled congress, the legislative branch will likely make more conservative leaning decisions. It is also probable that President-elect Trump will be able to act on some of his previously mentioned plans that require congressional approval, such as lowering taxes on corporations and people, and appointing conservatives to the Supreme Court.

With the constitutional power to levy taxes, congressional Republicans are likely going to decrease taxes on citizens of the United States. The biggest tax cuts in percentage, however, would go to the highest income households. Trump is also determined to

photo courtesy of elcivics.com

The 115th Congress is scheduled to begin Jan. 3, 2017

decrease the corporate tax rate from the current 35% to 15%. This concept, commonly called either “Reaganomics” or “trickle-down economics,” aims to improve the economy through lowering taxes on Americans, and is favored by Republicans. The desired effect is that with more money to spend after saving on taxes, Americans will stimulate growth of the economy through spending more money on goods and services.

Trump has supported Reaganomics-esque policies, promising large tax cuts, especially for the wealthy. According to the Tax Policy Center, Trump’s cuts would reduce federal revenues by $9.5 trillion in the first decade, before adding interest costs. Unless paired with large spending cuts, this tax plan will likely increase the national debt significantly.

With a conservative Senate, Trump’s Cabinet appointees have a high likelihood of being confirmed into office. The confirmation of a Cabinet appointee requires a simple majority vote (51 votes) in the Senate. Arguably one of the more well known positions, Secretary of State, will be confirmed by the Senate once Trump takes office and selects an appointee. This gives the Senate Republicans a sizeable amount of power in choosing the leader of the State Department, as they can either refuse or confirm Trump’s choice. Trump is considering many notable conservatives to replace John Kerry, including former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani and former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney.

Together, the executive branch and the Senate have the authority to decide who sits on the Supreme Court. It remains unclear who Trump plans to appoint to the Supreme Court to replace the late justice Antonin Scalia, however, it will likely be a conservative leaning appointee, as the Senate Republicans will confirm someone like-minded in ideology. It is also likely that the Senate will need to confirm three more replacements in the upcoming years, as three justices are at least 78 years old. This places great power in the hands of the President elect, and the 115th Congress of the United States.

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POLITICS Looking Back: Obama’s Presidency Will Schwinghammer humor editor Barack Obama is nearing the end of his second term as the 44th President of the United States.

After eight years in office, there’s much that he’s accomplished. Unfortunately, there’s still a lot of work he won’t be able to finish before his time to leave the Oval Office comes.

Obama was the first African American President.

Considering that he was born before the Civil Rights Act was passed, that on its own is a major accomplishment for America. The Supreme Court also legalized same-sex marriage across the entire United States under Obama’s influence, another major civil rights accomplishment. Despite a rash of highly publicized police shootings during his second term, race relations are once again at the forefront of American politics, and much-needed discussions are finally happening.

Obama inherited America when it was in a rough spot. The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were both a decade old. The Great Recession was at its height.

Obama campaigned for his first term with the simple promises of “Hope” and “Change,” and he delivered on both. The President’s efforts pushed the GDP from negative to positive in just six months, ending the recession. He also saved General Motors and Chrysler from bankruptcy with bailouts, saving American jobs. He passed a series of stimulus packages and tax cuts, and the economy is stronger now than when he took office.

The Iraq War, which cost 4,497 American lives with over 32,000 casualties, ended after eight years when Obama pulled remaining troops out of the country. After an almost decade-long manhunt, Osama bin Laden was found by the CIA and killed

by Navy SEALs at Obama’s command. Obama also secured a deal with Iran that will prevent the nation from creating nuclear weapons.

Perhaps Obama’s most significant achievement is the Affordable Care Act. While far from perfect, the act is the realization of one of the greatest dreams of generations of American liberals: universal healthcare. Obamacare is the biggest step in health care since Medicare and Medicaid were enacted in 1965. Since taking effect, the ACA has helped get millions insurance coverage, and outlawed disqualifiers such as preexisting conditions. The ACA is just the first step towards achieving a fully socialized healthcare system in the United States, but it’s a major step nonetheless.

Of course, Obama hasn’t accomplished everything he wanted to. Despite officially ending, in practice the war in Afghanistan rages on. Since NATO and coalition involvement ended and the withdrawal of most American soldiers in 2014, 35 troops have died. Since pulling out of Iraq, the United States has once again become involved, launching airstrikes against ISIS. In addition, no progress has been made towards cooling heated relations on the Korean Peninsula. Even though he’s talked about it extensively, the President hasn’t made any move towards implementing any further gun control. Most shockingly, Barack Obama has failed to close Guantanamo Bay, despite it being one of his main campaign promises in 2008. Certainly, there are many things he won’t be able to get done before his presidency comes to a close.

Over the past two terms, President Obama has made a lot progress. Soon, his time as President will draw to a close and his legacy will be solidified in the annals of history.

FEATURES

Gingers Spice it Up Morgan Sheehy staff writer

extremely thick head of hair.

A ginger most of his life, Hannagan went through a blonde phase at the age of seven. When it turned and permanently stayed red, he wasn’t too happy but after all these years he has come to accept it. “What does red hair mean to me?

It means that my hair is red.

My mother is the youngest of 14, all of them have red hair. I’m pretty sure that’s where I got it from, so I am Kennedy Tegan, one of Edina’s gingers assuming it was a dominant trait (shout out to Mrs. her some time to embrace the rarity Longley). It makes me feel special, of her recessive trait, “I grew into it and and in a weird way it also makes me feel learned to love it! Having red hair means superior,” said Hannagan. Hannagan I’m different than most people. It’s kinda wakes up every morning to practice rare, so it’s my key trait. It helps me juggling, an essential part of his daily stand out and not conform to societal hair-care routine. Juggling improves his norms,” said Tegan. When it comes to hand-eye coordination which results in ginger stereotypes, there are two things a more intricate hair brush technique. you should know about Tegan: a) she He then takes 2 hours steam showers can’t speak for her other fellow gingers, before bathing (the steam is how he but she is fairly certain she has a soul gets his hair so voluminous), throws on and b) freckles and sunburns are an some clothes, and gels his hair in the inevitable disadvantage but definitely school bathroom. There is one final thing worth it. As far as strange questions Hannagan wants all of us to know, “One go, gingers seem to have heard them ginger stereotype that I can confirm is all. “By far the weirdest question I’ve that we don’t have souls, but that is all I gotten was something along the lines will say on the subject.” of ‘Do the carpets match the drapes,’ Sophomore Kennedy Tegan’s if you know what that means. I didn’t luscious red locks are the talk of every answer, I just kinda laughed it off.” said room she enters. Her hair is a natural Tegan. According to Tegan, gingers are shade that many people pay tens of supposedly going extinct, so be friends thousands to maintain artificially. It took with them while you still can!

Isabel Thompson online editor in chief

photo by Grace Wolf

Red-heads seem to take a lot of punches, being the brunt of plenty of jokes. But somewhere along the lines, they unjustly received a bad rep.

In reality, their fiery locks are more enchanting than we blonde and brunette headed plebeians would like to admit.

Purebred gingers are actually extremely rare, making up only about 2% of the world’s population. In order to truly grasp and understand the coolness that surrounds these majestic human beings, Zephyrus took a moment to learn more about a few of the gingers living among us.

Kevin Delaney, a sophomore, is stopped by every old lady he encounters, and praised for his exotic ginger waves.

When Halloween comes around, finding a costume is never an issue, as he can easily resemble a leprechaun or Ron Weasley from the “Harry Potter” series.

“The only thing I hate about being ginger is how easily I get burnt. People will tell me that I don’t need sunscreen because we are only out for 20 minutes, but I still get burnt.”A lot of people say that gingers, like Delaney, are fiery and short tempered. “I can confirm this, as with every ginger I have seen has been fiery,” said Delaney. On a final note, Delaney would like to add that most redheads have souls, but there are a select few that do not.

Kieran Hannagan, a junior, attracts all the ladies with his extremely red and

Juggling Jugheads

Young Moderates Meet in the Middle Brooke Sheehy staff writer

photo by Zoe Cheung

After the presidential election on Nov. 8 took an unexpected turn and prominent businessman Donald Trump was elected as the 45th President of the United States, both students and staff at Edina High School had mixed feelings about the results. Students in the Young Liberals Club got together to support each other.

Those in the Young Conservatives Club celebrated the victory and took comfort in the idea of a Republican president and Republican majority in both the legislative and judicial branches, which has only happened three times in the past 100 years. But what about the majority of EHS students who don’t fall on an extreme end of the political spectrum?

How were moderates able to share how they felt and feel like other people cared enough to listen? Sophomores Max Laskin and Miles Dorsey decided to create a space for students to do just that.

On Nov. 11, AP United States History teacher Kjersti Humphrey signed off on Laskin and Dorsey’s EHS club request form as the advisor of the newly founded Young Moderates Club. “We

noticed in the school and the country stances. Currently boasting 75 members, that people are rapidly picking sides and YMC had its first meeting on Nov. we wanted a safe place for people who 17, where everybody got to know one don’t quite identify with one side of a another and debrief the election. “It is political party. We wanted people like nice to see something we created be so ourselves to have a voice and a place to successful with people contributing from discuss political issues,” said Laskin. every grade, and it is fascinating to see As moderates themselves, they do not all the members collaborating in ways identify with just one party, but have a they never could before, because of an mixture of views comprised from both idea that we had,” said Laksin. Their next parties which put them in the middle meeting will be held on Jan. 12, the first of the spectrum. “During this election, Thursday of the new year that school is most of our future club members found in session. “Snacks will be provided and themselves extremely confused, and every meeting is pretty laid back with no before we started the club, they didn’t strict rules expect for people to respect know what to do because they did not each other, be kind, and most of all have like either of the major party candidates, fun,” said Dorsey. yet they still wanted a place to discuss political issues. We noticed this issue and acted on it by creating the YMC,” said Dorsey.

Meeting the first Thursday of every month right after school in the cafeteria, YMC is a safe place for people who consider themselves moderate or independent to converse about their political opinions including discussion about current events from a moderate point of The Young Moderates Club coview without taking far left or right founder Max Laskin

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Have you ever dreamed of joining the circus? Are you quick with your hands, and need a new hobby?

Jugheads is certainly the place for you. Jugheads is a unique youth juggling company in Edina that works with 125 kids of all ages from Eden Prairie, Plymouth, Minnetonka, Chanhassen, and more. The company is run by Paul and Wendy Arneberg and has been training jugglers since 1994.

The Jugheads have sessions every day and depending on age and ability, the student will be placed into a club. The rec clubs meet on Monday, Thursday, and Friday, for students third to eighth grade. The rec clubs are for beginners, so if you’re new to the club, this is the place for you. As you get older and your skill level improves, you move up in the system meaning that middle schoolers are in the Advanced club, and high schoolers are in the Elite club.

The Jugheads also have a competition team, The Ultimate Club, for the most talented high school students. The Ultimate Club has 10-15 members that also participate in the Elite Club and volunteer as coaches for the Rec Clubs. Rec Club is coached by an adult as well as high school students who help with minor decision making and clean up. “These teachers help with juggling as well as auxiliary props, such as stilt walking, unicycling, walking on giant globes, diablos (giant yoyos), etc,” said junior Daniel Van Hoomissen.

There are many opportunities to see the Jugheads, but the most exciting performances are in March and May. The March show is a free performance put on by the students who create their own routines. The May show, entitled “Juggle Jam,” is the final performance of the year including all 125 students. “The May show is more put together, very professional, and really cute with all the little kids, but it still has good juggling,” said Van Hoomissen. Juggle Jam also includes a farewell to the graduating class, providing an opportunity to look back the years spent at Jugheads.

It is almost overwhelming to see the hard work that goes into the performances and the improvement the students have made since when they began in third grade.

While a career in juggling may be exciting, it is certainly a difficult path. There are circus universities which improve craft and a career which can only be furthered by networking with contacts. “The most promising way to have a career in juggling would be to get into a circus university, such as Circadium in Philadelphia or DOCH in Sweden,” said Van Hoomissen, who plans to pursue a career at DOCH. A career in juggling requires intense practice and precision, but for many it does not become more than a hobby.

For those uninterested in having a career in juggling but continue to hold a passion for juggling, there are international festivals and competitions in which anyone is allowed to attend. The Jugheads visits these festivals each year which provides an opportunity for students to compete and meet fellow jugglers.

“Juggling is awesome because it has taught me so much. It’s taught me about teamwork, leadership, teaching, creativity, and especially hard work,” said Van Hoomissen.

IN-DEPTH

Decoding Our Moral Code

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Art by Gage Aulik Photography by Grace Wolf and Zoe Cheung

FEATURES

Pining for Pins Christina Orth public relations editor

ar t by Katie S chiller

Enamel and button pins are an increasingly common sight on jean jackets and backpacks in the hallways of Edina High School, as the miniature displays of self-expression become a more and more popular (and gender neutral!) trend. They are easy to trade amongst friends, and you can find them anywhere, from your grandma’s jewelry box, to small vintage boutiques, to the Mall of America. Zephyrus sat down with pin collectors Caroline Cashman, Hattie Hubbell, and Claire Hanrahan to find out a little about them and their pins.

You can find EHS sophomore Caroline Cashman’s pin collection on her backpack. “One of my favorites is a little silver heart because it was my mom’s back in high school that I found in her room,” said Cashman.

She doesn’t really have a preference when it comes to enamel pins or buttons, however, she prefers to pins over patches just because they are less work. In addition to her mom’s room, she likes to look for pins in small stores and boutiques. “Big brand stores usually don’t have a ton of pins,” said Cashman. The best ones are from family and friends anyway. “I have these Greek Week pins that are my mom’s from college and the ones about compost have kind of a funny story. My friend Mimi took my pins as a joke one night when we were at Dairy Queen and when I asked about it she had lost them. After she bought me a ton of [compost] pins,” said Cashman. Her advice to new pin collectors?

“Just be out on the lookout!”

EHS junior and collector Hattie Hubbell rocks her pins on her jean jacket. “When I first got my jean jacket, my mom had these old pins that were her aunt’s so it just went on from there,” said Hubbell. Her jacket

boasts mostly enamel pins and no patches, but most of them are from someone who has already owned them.

“Three of mine are from this vintage store in St. Paul and I don’t know the story behind them, but one of them says ‘Life is fragile, work safely.’ I don’t know what it’s about but I think that it’s really cool,” said Hubbell. She recommends visiting vintage stores or Ragstock for your next pin purchase; and her advice for someone testing the waters is to “get ones that match your personality and are unique.”

“I like pins because they represent little things that I like to do,” said senior Claire Hanrahan. Her backpack displays pins from her grandpa’s Notre Dame clover leaf he passed on to her to her friend Nyia Travis’s picture from when she played house league soccer.

Hanrahan started her collection from the pins she got on the 6th-grade Respect Retreat.

“After that my mom gave me some other pins so I put them on my backpack and I thought I’d just add more,” said Hanrahan.

She prefers patches over pins because they stay on her backpack more, and advises beginner pin collectors to be careful where you put them. “They got lost easily and they break easily,” said Hanrahan.

International Issues Come Close to Home Lillie Westbrook print editor in chief

On Jan. 14, Edina High School will be overrun with mock delegates from all nations in the UN at the national Edina Model United Nations Conference. The fourth conference of its kind, EMUNC was created by Betsy Nimmo and Nickie McKeever, the two Model UN coaches at EHS. “The Edina Model UN team decided to host their own conference after noticing a lack of available local conferences a few years ago,” said senior Katie Clark, Secretary-General for the conference. “I lead team meetings, communicate with the team, and give opening and closing remarks during the conference.”

EMUNC is unique in that it is run by students themselves, and not coaches or past participants. “There are 24 hard-working and extremely dedicated kids on the leadership team,” said Clark. The secretariat consists of mostly seniors, though some experienced juniors are also on the team. It is divided into four parts: Dais, External Relations,

Logistics, and Research and Writing. “[EMUNC] has been successfully expanding this year,” said Clark.

This isn’t an understatement; the conference currently has about 320 students from nine schools registered, and that number is still growing.

The conference will tackle two subjects this year: Transnational Organized Crime and the Zika Virus.

This means that delegates (in pairs of two) will represent one country in the UN and work with other delegations to solve the problem at hand. For those who have participated in a MUN conference before, it will work much like any other; except this time, Edina delegates have the home field advantage.

Clark feels that EMUNC is doing a good job of adding to the local MUN community. Not only does it add another local conference to the calendar, but it also brings students together. “In a time of great division, it is incredible to see kids coming together, giving up their Saturday to discuss pressing issues worldwide,” said Clark when asked about her favorite part of the conference.

Love is in the EHS Air E d i n a H i g h S c h o o l ’s C u t e s t C o u p l e s

Emma Bailey staff writer

p hoto cou r te sy of p e rs on s p ic t ure d

Kate Linden & Andrew Anselmo “We’ve known each other for a year, but we’ve been dating for 11 months,” said sophomore Linden. The couple met in a Valley View combined choir rehearsal in 9th grade, and have been dating ever since. Both are members of Edina’s Live Action Roleplay Club, and enjoy the winter season.

Annika Wennerlund & Harris Mueller “We met in the Sever's corn festival corn pit,” said Mueller. The two juniors have Wennerlund & Mueller in been together for a the Sever’s corn pit

year and are very happy together, despite the fact that Mueller openly believes his girlfriend, is secretly in love with John Pflaster. What’s their ideal date? “A tutorial on watching how kielbasa [Polish sausage] is made,” said Wennerlund.

Mallika Shore & Kai Vickman Shore and Vickman have been dating for 19 months now.

“My ideal date would definitely be dinner at a really fancy place, where we’re dressed super nice, and then hopefully we’re in a cool city like LA,” said Shore. “She travels a lot.

She’s been to Hong Kong and all over Europe,” said Vickman, of his girlfriend.

Olivia Magnuson & Andy Youngstrom “We first met in preschool, and then later we reconnected, in ninth grade,” said Youngstrom. While they’ve known each other for over ten years, the juniors have been dating for 14 months. Both see their ideal date somewhere outside, whether it’s walking around the lakes or setting up a hammock and hanging out.

Sophie Anderson & Will Schaidler “We went to Bruegger’s and then went to Walker Art Center,” said Anderson, when asked about their first date. The couple has been together for about a year now, and as every month goes by, the two go out for ice cream to celebrate. “He sleeps with stuffed animals,” said Anderson, giving a fun fact about Schaidler. “I sleep with the stuffed animal that you got me!” said Schaidler.

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Kaitlin Enriquez & Brock Boltmann Enriquez and Boltmann have been dating for a year, and have known each other since math class in seventh grade. The two varsity hockey players are both busy, so they don’t really have a preference on what they’re doing, as long as they’re together. “She tags me in puppy videos like every day on Instagram,” said Boltmann.

Hannah Gronseth & Will Gudorf Gronseth and Gudorf, whose pictures can be found side by side in the yearbook, have been dating for almost two years.

The two met in their Sweethearts group sophomore year, but both had other dates. As far as traditions go, they can be found together almost every Saturday.

Katie Dickey & Enzo Mejia Dickey, a senior, and Mejia, a junior, have been dating for 11 months. “We did the show “The Jar” together, and that was where our relationship bloomed,” said Dickey. They have four pairs of matching socks and dream of bungee jumping in Auckland, New Zealand together.

Etta Winje & Peter Daly Winje and Daly defy the patterns of high school with their three year relationship. They met in 8th grade Language Arts and spent their first date at Hello Pizza. Winje, who Daly claims doesn’t have a sense of smell, would go ice skating for her ideal date. “Sadies is normally around the time [when we have our anniversary],” said Daly.

OPINION Head to Head

the case for unity Maren Naegele featured editor Many of the things that impact our lives are events beyond our control. Often, we wish we could make these unwanted or unexpected events automatically disappear. Usually, this occurs when events like a war, a disease, an accident, or even unwanted results of an election, cause a crisis in our life.

Ultimately though, every single event--negative or positive-makes us who we are today. We grow as human beings because of unexpected challenges, not in spite of them.

Acceptance of the reality of a crisis is sometimes the hardest part, but it is the first step needed to move forward and find peace. When an event happens, nothing anyone says or does can or will change the event. It happened. All you can do is accept it and move forward. Now, I am not saying that protests should be disregarded or are irrelevant, but I am saying that you have to accept the new reality in order to move forward. To fight reality or pretend that an event did not happen is to live in denial. If you do this, then you are unable to move forward.

Let’s say that I took my dog into the vet because he was sick. The vet gave my dog a diagnosis of cancer, and my family was given a list of treatments that we could give to my dog to help him feel better.

Now, to me, this would be a major crisis. If I fought this new reality by denying the fact that my dog had cancer, rather than accepting that something was wrong with him, then I would be wasting the time that I could have spent, to get my dog closer to good health. The time I

“Rather than wasting time fighting a new reality, it would be better to accept the results and understand why the results happened and then plan on how you can change it by the time the next election comes around”

Rebecca Edgington human resources editor Throughout the course of history, protest and civil disobedience have been used over and over to make change and draw attention to issues that are being overlooked by a government, a school, or a community. Civil disobedience and protest are two very different things, though both are being used to protest the Trump presidency. In November, over 250 students from South High School in Minneapolis peacefully walked out of school and marched through downtown. They made stops at the U.S. Bank Stadium, Nicollet Mall, the U.S. Bancorp Center, and the U.S. Bank Plaza, across from the Hennepin County Government Center.

In light of the recent election, outraged citizens have been using protests and civil disobedience to call attention to their grievances. Civil disobedience is when people choose to purposefully break a law that they see to be unjust. It is illegal but usually non-violent. Protest is a statement or action expressing disapproval of or objection to something. Protests can be non-violent, and are protected free speech.

Protesters have gathered to march in many cities including Minneapolis, New York City, Washington D.C., Portland and Los Angeles. Common slogans are being used on posters such as “Dump Trump,” “Love Trumps Hate,” “Keep Your Hands Off My Country,” and “Build Bridges Not Walls.”

Those who disagree with the protesters claim that all of this anger is unnecessary and argue that people need to accept the outcome of the election and move on. Protesters are stating that the President-elect does not have their best interest in mind. They argue that protest and civil disobedience have

sparked change and social movements in the past, and they hope to spark change again. They also argue that for some, “getting over it” is easy. There are those in this country who have had the luxury of living under white privilege all their lives and will be completely unaffected by the outcome of the election. But for others it is not as easy to just “get over it,” and those who tell them to do so are out of line and insensitive.

“[T]his country would not exist if it wasn’t for ... revolt” Civil disobedience and protest has been used throughout history to create positive changes and move the world forward. We saw its success before and during the Revolutionary War to fight the British control over the American colonies. It was used during the civil rights movement to fight the unequal treatment and segregation

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wasted not accepting reality would not be time well spent.

Fighting the fact that my dog was sick wouldn’t help him or me. This wasted time only occurs if I choose to live in denial rather than accepting the new reality that my dog is sick.

Similarly, if the results of the recent election were not to your liking, and you choose to fight the results, you aren’t moving forward. Sure, your message gets through to the elected candidate you are unhappy with, but that won’t change the election results. Rather than wasting time fighting a new reality, it would be better to accept the results and understand why the results happened and then plan on how you can change it by the time the next election comes around. Again, I’m not saying your beliefs are wrong or that you have to conform to the elected candidate’s beliefs, but rather I’m saying that choosing to not accept the results can result in the waste of time. If you accept the new reality, you move closer to opening numerous doors that lead to winning the next election. And, this you can be sure of, every day you deny reality is a day the elected candidate is moving forward with actions that might actually prove to be beneficial to our country, state, county and city. So, are you moving forward too? Or, are you moving backwards?

Accepting crises means that you are able to move forward to potentially affect preferable outcomes in the future.

Wishing that an unwanted or unexpected event didn’t happen is to live in denial, and can result in the waste of time. It would be better to accept the unwanted or unexpected event, understand why it happened, and then take steps forward to have your preferred outcome prevail the next time an opportunity presents itself.

of blacks and whites, was successful when used to give women the right to vote during the suffrage movement and to change the voting age to 18 instead of 21 because of the draft during the Vietnam War. Over and over we have seen the success that protest and civil disobedience have wielded. Now it seems that we are heading back in time.

Those who oppose protesters state that Americans unite under one president but it is obvious to see that Americans fight for what we believe in, we fight for what is right. When a president is elected who doesn’t seem to care about equality at all, equality will be fought for. The current President-elect has put a target on the back of anyone with a disability, anyone who works for the press, all who are Latino, Black, Muslim, female, LGBTQ, an immigrant, and has alienated the rest of the world. So not only are these groups facing severe changes to their lives but they are being told that by protesting they are acting like “children.” But in reality they are fighting to have their voices be heard, to have power, and to call others to action in the midst of all this chaos. This country was built from revolution, so even if these outcries seem drawn out or unnecessary, remember what they are really for. Remember that this country would not exist if it wasn’t for the brave men and women who choose to revolt under an unjust government instead of blindly following a leader they did not agree with.

Take the time to realize that even though this election may not affect you, for others it means being isolated and alienated them from fellow Americans by the President-elect, and it means having their basic human rights ripped away.

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fighting for our rights

OPINION

N a m i n g O u r G e n e r a t i o n Political Posturing Threatens Progress Ben Gustafson in-depth editor

Tanner Jones opinion editor

Political strife and divisiveness have reached unprecedented heights in our nation and community. In the last month, Edina students made headlines for racist comments on social media, and the EHS Young Liberals and Young Conservatives Clubs reached a combined 584 members. Both events are products of a culture that has decisively rejected unity, and consistently promotes hate.

I have been active in both the Young Liberals and Young Conservatives Clubs since the start of the year and frankly, I’m disgusted by what I’ve seen. In both groups, opposing students have been called out, made fun of, and—most problematically—told they should be “burned at the stake.” I’ve also witnessed the perpetuation of racism and misogyny to unacceptable extents.

Hundreds of students, hidden behind digital screens, have been allowed to cross boundaries. As others reaffirm their comments—liking and responding to messages—their behavior is increasingly normalized and exacerbated. Groups, and entire demographics, have been generalized, homogenized, and collectively deemed untrustworthy (or worse) based on their politics. Ten minutes hadn’t gone by after Dr. Locklear’s unity presentation before both groups were back at it in their respective chats. We have been blinded by our beliefs.

In these chats, comments and thoughts are systematically categorized into ideological columns. Political figures become either infallible and abhorrent based on the “R” or “D” next to their names. We’re teenagers, and in striving for intellectual dominance over our perceived opponents, are unabashedly furthering polarization. After the results of the election became clear, one club member was recorded saying that we should “vandalize and fight people on the streets.” These clubs are affiliated with a public high school and this kind of blatant advocacy for lawbreaking cannot be tolerated any longer.

Theoretically, student political clubs could be stimulating and enlightening. But the fact is, each club has fostered an unmoderated echo chamber. In these environments, where dissent is discouraged, good intentions are easily distorted and become hateful.

The happenings at Edina are indicative of much larger social problems. As our school further stratifies itself into ideological silos, mirroring trends in the U.S., any hope for unity will disappear. Constant validation-seeking and perpetual reaffirmation have overtaken truth-seeking. For the first time in history, facts are subjective. People are able to choose a media outlet that reflects their ideology, one that affirms their own beliefs and puts a favorable spin on reality. Thus, our perceptions of the world—from their very origins—are pitted against each other.

In the eyes of those who prescribe to mainstream media, Trump and Clinton are no longer simply politicians. Each is codified by extremes; one became a racist and the other a criminal. Political discourse, thus, is in a downward spiral. Impenetrable lines are drawn over specific issues and compromise becomes repugnant.

Ideologically, there are two nations within our one. Practically everyone has contributed to this trend, and it won’t end until each of us questions and corrects the warrants and roots of our political beliefs.

In our own community this has become pertinent. Hate has been fostered and friendships have ended for the sake of politics. Most of us can’t even vote. Progress cannot be achieved, by either party, until a dialogue is opened with the opposition.

art by Katie Schiller

As a generation born into a rapidly developing society, navigating smartphones, social media and the internet is like second nature to most of us. When we don’t know something, what do most of us do? We Google it. When we want attention, what do most of us do? We post something on social media. These habits cause us, known as Generation-Z, iGeneration or Post-Millennials, to be stereotyped as dependent on technology and narcissistic. For example, in a highly publicized 2013 TIME article, Joel Stein argued that youth today are “lazy, entitled, selfish and shallow.” While one must keep in mind that the stereotypes of our generation in part represent an age-old tradition of elders disapproving of youngsters, critics of Gen-Z bring up points that we should address. In my opinion, our technological savviness has enabled us to process information at an unprecedented level, which has also helped us to continually challenge the status-quo. However, we sometimes take the vast amount of resources at our fingertips for granted.

First, because Gen-Z has access to highly developed technology, we are able to focus on using information rather than memorizing it, but our fundamental problem solving skills suffer in the process. In other words, even though our resources allow us to solve problems more efficiently, we have effectively become dependent on technology to problem solve. “Creative problem solving is not as necessary when you can merely ask Siri for a solution to your problem,” said social studies teacher Heidi Mathers. However, rather than filling our heads with knowledge we may never need, members of Gen-Z can focus on higher objectives such as thinking critically, thinking creatively, communicating clearly, and collaborating. “Students today show about the same amount of critical thinking skills as those I instructed 10 years ago. . . but they seem better prepared to advocate and defend a position,” said social studies teacher Chris Dalki.

With a shift in skills comes a shift in focus. Some say Gen-Z has become more self-centered than past generations. Many Gen-Zers, for instance, quantify happiness through virtual followers and likes. Reality T.V. stars we grew up watching have also convinced us that to be liked, we must inflate our status. Furthermore, Gen-Z has grown up in an age where participation trophies were just as common as other trophies. “While most children saw the reality behind [participation trophies], some students have thought they were more talented, intelligent, etc. than in the past,” said Mathers. In fact, according to to the National Institutes of Health, 58% more college students scored higher on a narcissism scale in 2009 than in 1982. However, Gen-Z cannot be held responsible for the environment we grew up in because in my opinion any other generation growing up in this time period would probably succumb to the same habits we do.

In the end, I truly believe that we only come off as entitled because we have high expectations for the world, and we are unwilling to sacrifice those expectations just because older generations tell us they are impractical. Even in the midst of a chaotic time period, which has consisted of 9/11, the longest wars in U.S. history, the Great Recession and the Arab Spring, our generation approaches life with an unwavering sense of optimism and an excitement for innovation. Even Tom Brokaw, author of best-selling novel “The Greatest Generation Speaks,” admits that our mentality is to “Challenge convention. Find new and better ways of doing things.” That being said, I believe that in order to become a respected generation, we must remember to not only challenge society to improve, but ourselves as well.

T h e Tr o u b l e w i t h Te a c h e r Te n u r e Colette Bruder print editor in chief

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Finally, teacher tenure is a waste of taxpayers money. As previously mentioned, many tenured teachers lead engaging and informative classes. However, on the chance that this is not the case, it is extremely hard to terminate a tenured teacher.

Thus, the incompetent teacher is either allowed to continue teaching at their current position or is moved into a unnecessary administrational position they are unqualified for.

This hinders both students from learning to their full potential and prevents new capable teachers from taking their position often at much lower salaries.

For the aforementioned reasons I believe the practice of tenure should be dismissed.

art by Katie Schiller

Teacher tenure is a policy designed to protect teachers by making it more difficult to fire those who have achieved tenure.

In principle, tenure promotes a healthy learning environment in which educators are safe to teach potentially controversial material without the threat of being fired and protects them against false accusations by students and parents. However, in practice, teacher tenure is a flawed system that inhibits the performance of both teachers and students.

It can be easy for teachers to feel increasingly burned out from the rigorous demands teaching requires. However, tenured teachers’ false sense of security can lead them to feel apathetic towards their curriculum and their students. Like the majority of students, during my time in the Edina Public Schools system I have had many excellent teachers and several underwhelming teachers; there were non-tenured and tenured teachers in both camps. Being a tenured teacher does not automatically mean that you are a lazy teacher. In fact, some if not the majority of my favorite teachers were tenured. However, I firmly believe that tenure does not encourage teachers to produce their best work. Educators should always feel accountability to enhance their students’ academic experiences. By tenuring teachers, you take away the incentivisation to keep things

fresh and lead many educators into complacency. Why should teachers continue to improve their lesson plans if they have the ones from ten years ago sitting in their desk folder, already completed? This unintended side-effect of teacher tenure can have severely negative ramifications for students.

Furthermore, all teachers whether tenured or not should be required to face frequent (once per month) weighted evaluations from higher authorities. In almost every other job field, employees are subject to evaluations, and it makes them better and increases their output. Teachers are tasked with educating the future generations, and to me, this is one of the most critical and important jobs out there. And I would have profited if my tenured eighth-grade social studies teacher who believed the U.S.S.R still existed was evaluated more often than the current system demands.

In my experience, Minnesota has a surplus of competent teachers who desperately want a teaching position within the Edina Public Schools System. However, in affluent suburbs such as Edina, teachers are often forced to take jobs as substitute teachers if they can get a job in the school system at all. Some of my best teachers were fresh out of college.

Teacher tenure prevents new teachers and new ideas from being integrated into the system. Students are missing out on the insightful information of a eager young teacher ready to prove they have what it takes to be an educator.

CULTURE

How to Spell It

(And Everything Else You Should Know About the Festival of Lights) Jenna Simon news and politics editor

Secret Santa Suggestions

Sun Up to Sun Down: Solstice in the Cities

Greta Morton culture editor

Lillie Westbrook print editor in chief The winter solstice is the holiday of light on which observers celebrate the longest night of the year. It takes place on the 21st or 22nd of December every year (in 2016, it will be the 21st). Originally Pagan in its origins, this holiday seems to embody all of the “fun” parts of Christmas without the religious aspects. Hanging mistletoe, trimming the tree, awaiting Santa Claus (whose real name is the Germanic God of Yule), and even exchanging gifts are Pagan celebrations that were combined with Christmas. The holiday celebrates rebirth and honors the gods of the Sun and Harvest, who reawaken after the longest night of the year. Evergreens are such a present symbol because they never die, inspiring hope for new life after winter. Today, the celebrations can be categorized into two major groups: raucous jamborees and spiritual reflections. This year, the Twin Cities’ solstice community is sure to celebrate with music, food, and light. Zephyrus features one of each; one at the Swedish Institute of Art and another at First Universalist Church of Minneapolis.

The Swedish Institute of Art will extend its hours on Wednesday the 21st so visitors can appreciate the art after dark. They will be playing music in the Turnblad Mansion’s ballroom, offering handcrafting activities, and opening the cafe so people can eat fika and other traditional Swedish treats. Finally, they will be opening up a holiday courtyard full of lights and a bonfire to celebrate the darkest night of the year. The First Universalist Church of Minneapolis will be hosting its 36th annual solstice celebration. What started as a small gathering of about 20 women from the church has turned into a celebration for peace, light, and quiet that is hundreds of people strong.

It consists of a short presentation while the lights get dimmer and dimmer, culminating in a full twelve minutes of absolute darkness and quiet. It is a time for reflection, spirituality, and meditation until the lights grow stronger. Afterwards, attendees eat a meal together and dancing takes place until late into the night.

art by Katie Schiller

art by Gillian Mousseau

As the holiday season draws nearer, gift exchanges are planned, and Secret Santas are assigned. The hunt for the perfect gifts ensues. This year, Zephyrus wants to make sure you are well prepared to give the best presents with this winter gift guide.

If you do not know the person very well, there are many options for generic gifts.

Candles from stores like Bath and Body Works or Yankee Candle are often a popular choice and come in many seasonal scents, such as “Fresh Balsam,” “’Tis the Season,” or “Winter Candy Apple.” Fuzzy socks or gloves are also a favorite. Stores like Target or American Eagle typically have winter socks on sale around the holiday season, with prices as low as five dollars. Stores like LUSH or Ulta Beauty often sell bath bombs or other useful bath items at a lower price too.

If your person is a food enthusiast, there are always holiday themed treats around this time of year. World Market has food to purchase from all around the globe, making it easy to find that special treat you are looking for. Items such as Austrian Sacher Tarte or German Marzipan make for a delicious winter dessert. Edible Arrangements sells yummy Christmas gift baskets and chocolate covered fruit for the holidays as well.

Homemade treats are also a popular gift to give around this time of year; winter or holiday themed cake-pops are a favorite and also easy to make. If you are in need of something more simple, candy canes are also perfect for winter holidays!

Looking for something inexpensive? The dollar section at Target is always stocked around this time with fun holiday items, all under five dollars! You can find holiday themed candies, stickers, crafts, and even wrapping paper to wrap your gifts when you are finished shopping. Other low-cost presents could be items such as a book from Half Priced Books or a fun holiday mug with a packet of hot chocolate and peppermint marshmallows.

If you were hoping to be extra creative with your gifts this year, DIYs are always a good way to go. You can find items from tie blanket kits to tie dye equipment at stores like Michael’s or Joann Fabric and Craft Store for as little as ten dollars. Your gifts will have a special personal touch to them as well; you can make these gifts as unique as you want.

Technology is often present in our daily lives, so electronic gifts might also be a good idea. Items such as a new set of earbuds, a new phone case, or even a keyboard cover for your friend’s laptop would be an easy find and a fun gift to receive. You can find these products at the Apple store or even order them online off of Amazon.

Now that you have an idea of what to give your Secret Santa buddy this year, it’s time to get wrapping. Last minute purchases can still be fun and successful thanks to your favorite school newspaper!

This being said, Hannukkah has many of its own unique traditions that are enjoyed worldwide. I often get questions about how families celebrate the festival. As I mentioned before, a common tradition is to fry potato latkes. This custom is to remind us of the miracle of the oil burning for eight days.

In addition, a fun tradition for kids is playing the dreidel game and winning chocolate coins called gelt. Besides the customs of the holiday, I still have not addressed the most frequently asked question of them all: How in the world do you spell Hanukkah? What you have read above are all phonetic spellings of a Hebrew word, so none of them are incorrect.

As a final answer, the authentically correct way to spell the word is pictured to the right in Hebrew. Have a wonderful holiday season, and Chag Hanukkah Sameach (Happy Hanukkah).

art by Jenna Simon

Ah, the holiday season. A time to be with family, exchange gifts, and take in the lights. That’s right! It’s Hanukkah.

Commonly referred to as the Festival of Lights, the holiday is a time for Jewish families to come together, light the menorah, and enjoy each other’s company. Or in my family’s case, it’s a great time to decide whose entire house we’re going to make smell like oil this year as we fry the traditional potato latkes.

But I’ll let you in on a little secret: Channukah is a relatively minor Jewish holiday. You just wouldn’t know it based on the way it is celebrated in the United States.

The Festival of Hannukka celebrates the rededication of the Second Temple in Jerusalem. In the period around 200 BCE, the Syrian-Greek Empire controlled the land of Israel.

Under the rule of King Antiochus IV, many laws were put into place which were meant to suppress Jewish customs. In an effort to defend these customs and the Torah, the small army of Maccabean Jews waged a war against the much larger

Syrian-Greek army. After numerous battles, the Maccabees were victorious, and they returned to Jerusalem to rededicate the temple.

Now to the miracle part of the Chanuka. When the Maccabees went to light the temple’s menorah, they only had enough oil to last for one day. Miraculously, it lasted for the eight days the Maccabees needed to get more oil. Jews commemorate this event every year by lighting the Hanukah menorah for eight nights, starting on the 25th day of the Hebrew month of Kislev, the date the temple was rededicated.

Today, Channukkah is the most widely recognized Jewish holiday in the United States. However, this does not reflect its importance compared to other Jewish holidays. It was not until the 1940s that American Jews began giving gifts for Hanukka, since the holiday frequently coincided with Christmas.

Historically, and in most other countries today, Chanukah is not a gift giving holiday. There is some irony in the fact that on the day we recognize the Jewish people’s resistance to assimilating into Syrian-Greek culture, many American Jews have chosen to adopt this originally Christian custom.

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CULTURE

I nside the S n ow G l o b e : Sk ating an d S l e d d i n g

The Open Book

Max North sports editor

A Book Lover’s Dream

The Mandela Effect Examined Nikki Lund art editor

Was the moon landing faked? Is the government run by lizard people? Is Beyoncé in the Illuminati? Is time is a social construct? All popular conspiracy theories. But there is one theory that has achieved extreme popularity, recently: The Mandela Effect. The Mandela Effect is what happens when someone has a clear memory of something that never happened in reality. Many people (mostly total strangers) remember the exact same events with the exact same details. However, their memories are different from what’s in history books, newspaper archives, and so on. According to some, this isn’t a conspiracy, and they’re not talking about “false memories.”

Many speculate that parallel realities exist, and they have intercepted with our own without us realizing it. The name of the theory comes from many people believing that they could remember Nelson Mandela dying while he was still in prison back in the 1980s. However, Mandela’s actual death was on Dec. 5, 2013, despite some people claiming to remember seeing clips of his funeral on TV. Thus, the idea of the Mandela Effect was born.

“Conspiracy theories interest me because they’re so fascinating,” said senior Hannah Gronseth, “[They] make you think in a different way and cause you to think outside the box. The Mandela Effect interests me because it brings forth the theory of our universe has had glimpses into other parallel universes.”

One example of the Mandela Effect is the debate about the spelling of the well-loved children’s book series “The Bernstein Bears” or “The Bernstain Bears.” Some people seem to recall the book series being about a family of bears being known as “The Berenstein Bears.” However, if you look now, they’re actually called “The Berenstain Bears.” Even autocorrect wants to correct Bernstein to Bernstain. Many folks insist that they remember it being spelled with an “e,” and one Reddit user even claims to have found an old VHS tape of the cartoon, where the label shows “Berenstein.” Is it just an example of a false memory? Or is it an actually occurrence of the Mandela Effect?

There are many recorded instances of the Mandela Effect. For instance, in the classic film “Snow White,” the evil queen actually says “Magic mirror on the wall,” not “Mirror mirror on the wall.” Check for yourself, most people don’t believe it either. Another example has to do with the famous Queen song “We are the Champions.”

Many of those familiar with the song remember the final lyrics being “No time for losers, ’cause we are the champions…of the world!” But guess what? There is no “of the world!” The song just ends, and it’s driving people completely crazy because they feel 100% sure that they’ve heard otherwise in the past.

These possibly false memories have some people thinking their memory sucks, but some wonder if they’ve gone to a parallel universe, or if time travelers have gone to the past and slightly affected our present, or if they’re simply losing their minds. Whichever it is, it will continue to be one of the most intriguing conspiracy theories to date.

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Not far from the historic Stone Arch Bridge and Mill City Museum is a gallery of a different sort. Dedicated to the art of words and the creative ways in which they can be used, Open Book is any bibliophile’s ideal environment. The building is a selfproclaimed “space for everyone, a meeting place or quiet sanctuary, a destination for all who are interested in or inspired by the literary and book arts,” according to their website. From a gallery of artistic variations redefining the concept of a book, to writing classes and a cozy cafe, Open Book offers aspiring authors the space and resources to think outside the page.

Located at 1011 Washington Avenue South in Minneapolis, the building is home to several organizations with a common goal: provide individualized services to authors and artists. The first of these is the Minnesota Center for Book Arts. This nonprofit organization sponsors an exhibition of new creations by modern artists. Past exhibits have involved miniature books, handmade paper, 3-dimensional illustration, and engraving. They offer classes on bookbinding, papermaking, and letterpress for teens, adults, and children. They also stock a shop, where you can buy anything from bookbinding supplies and high-quality paper to coloring books, a map of all the poems in St. Paul, and works of original art.

The Loft Literary Center is found on the upper levels of Open Book, and focuses on inspiring authors through writing classes on poetry, reporting, world building, and banishing writer’s block. The Loft also provides private writing studios that are available to rent; each upper-level studio is furnished with a handmade wooden desk, chairs for reading, natural light, and 24/7 access for its renters.

The last organization in the Open Book building is Milkweed Editions, an independent, literary publisher that was founded in Minnesota in 1979. According to Open Book’s website, Milkweed Editions believes that “literature is a transformative art uniquely able to convey the essential experiences of the human heart and spirit.” Consequently, they publish for a range of genres and ages, and offer publishing deals to previously unknown and experimental authors. In addition to their passion for transforming the literary community, Milkweed Editions operates as a nonprofit, to ensure that creativity, rather than finances, plays the principal role in their business decisions. They have a display of recent publications on the third floor of the building.

Open Book is also home to a small café, tucked opposite the store and gallery showroom. Its lofted ceilings, warm lighting, and scattered seating are the perfect harmony to the purpose of the building: encouraging community and creativity. On the third floor, a book club may be meeting. One level down, an author is sitting in a studio, their story in front of them and an avenue into the published world outside the door. The doors open and close, the bustle of the street sending passerby whirling into an exhibit of miniscule, handpainted poems in carefully crafted boxes.

Those in the gift shop can hear an instructor explaining the art of bookbinding. In the middle of busy, crowded Minneapolis, Open Book stands as a monument to discovery and imagination.

photo courtesy of Trip Advisor

Are We Losing Our Minds?!

Anne Amen online copy editor

art by Sandra Chen

Here in Minnesota, we are known for many things, but above all, our winter weather. Minnesotans like to celebrate the snow and cold weather in two main ways: sledding and ice skating. Below are some of the best places in the area to show your “Minnesnowta” spirit.

The Southdale Center has created an ice rink in their parking lot that will light up your world, literally. The rink is slightly smaller than a regular size hockey rink and is surrounded with lights on the sides and up above you. The rink is built with pipes beneath it to keep the ice frozen all year so you can maximize your time skating this winter.

Another fun aspect this year is the photo contest. Skaters can upload their best skating photo to a social media site with #southdalephotocontest for a chance to win a $50 gift card each week.

For those who don’t like the cold weather, but love to skate, The Depot in Minneapolis is a well known indoor skating location. The Depot captures the feel of an outdoor rink, but with the warmth of the fall or spring day. The Depot is only open on weekends until Dec. 16 when it starts staying open all week through the end of the year.

Admission ranges between six and nine dollars and skate rental costs seven dollars.

One of the biggest sledding hills that you can find in Edina is on the north side of Creek Valley Elementary School.

This hill is a very popular place to sled as it has no trees and a long, steep hill. At the bottom of the hill are many soccer fields so you won’t have to worry about stopping at the bottom.

Another great place to race your friends in the snow is at Buck Hill in Burnsville. Although it will cost you some money, snow tubing is one of the most popular ways to spend a weekend day this winter. With over ten lanes and tubes specifically designed for speed, Buck Hill is the place to be. For just 18 dollars you can grab a tube and ride the lift to the top and race your friends down to the bottom.

Finally, if you’re like me and love both sledding and skating, take your friends or family to Normandale Park for a day full of winter time fun. Normandale recently rebuilt their skating rink and have a very large area to skate and show off your moves. Also, they have a fairly large sledding hill that often has jumps built by other sledders. The hill does have a few trees so be aware of your surroundings when trying to hit maximum speed.

The Open Book welcomes readers and writers alike

SPORTS

Getting to Know Edina Nordic Cecilia Orth staff writer

superb for cross-training. “It’s just a really rewarding sport.

You come off the season and you feel good and strong because Nordic is one of those sports that works all of your muscles” said senior Nordic captain Max Kuhs. All you need for a good workout is a little snow!

It’s no surprise that Edina Nordic is a close and supportive ski team, given their yearly Maplelag trip in Callaway, Minnesota and their traditional potlucks. The Maplelag ski trip occurs over winter break from Dec. 2628. Maplelag is a family owned resort, run by past Edina residents, Mary and Jim Richards. Those who attend will have fun skiing over 65 kilometers while improving and learning from coaches, captains and more experienced skiers. They’ll ski on classic and skate trails, like Wavy Gravy, Rootin Tootin, and Skater’s Waltz. In addition to ski trails, another Nordic classic are the potlucks. These meals are opportunities for meeting new teammates and having fun! “It’s a big team and you meet a lot of fun people, a lot of my friends are from that [Nordic] as well” said Kuhs. photo courtesy of Edina Nordic

In Nordic skiing, also known as cross country skiing, athletes ski uphill, downhill, and over flat surfaces. Edina Nordic is organized into three groups: varsity, junior varsity I, and junior varsity II. Varsity consists of the top 14 skiers who have attained the ability to do both skate ski and classic ski. Skate is when the skis go in the same motion as ice skating, while classic skiing is the style that goes from walking to shuffling to full-on kick-and-glide. JV I is composed of the next top 14 skiers, and JV II consists of the rest of the skiers. Whether the race is classic or skate ski, it’s typically a 5K (approximately 3.2 miles). The Edina Nordic ski team enters this winter with hopes of placing in the top two at sections in order to qualify for State this February in Biwabik, Minnesota.

Because many athletes prefer warm and dry weather for their sport, many students opt to stay inside with their hot chai tea and candy canes during the winter months.

However, below freezing temperatures are no barrier for Nordic skiers. Despite the lack of snow, Nordic practices started in November and will continue into February.

Without snow, Nordic often replaces practice with dryland training. Dryland is made up of running and strength exercises such as pushups and squats. Last year, the Nordic team would practice on ski trails by EHS, where the construction is currently taking place. However this year, when there’s enough snow on the ground, practice is held at the soccer fields, woods, the water tower near Creek Valley Elementary School, or at Hyland Hills ski park. By combining both a lower body and upper body workout, Nordic ski exerts the entire body, making the sport Bird’s-eye view of Edina’s nordic trails

T h e U l t i m a t e Wi n t e r S p o r t ?

Puck or ball? Skates or Shoes? Rink or Court?

Ellery Mahlum features editor

Basketball is a winter sport played around the globe and is exciting to watch or play. With high school, college, and professional leagues, basketball is one of the only winter sports that is played in every state because basketball does not require cold weather. Even though we live in a city that loves its hockey team, the best winter sport is basketball because of its accessibility and exciting action.

The best part about basketball is the lack of equipment required to play. For any aspiring players, all it takes is to find a hoop and a ball. It is easy to find an indoor or outdoor court, unlike hockey which can only be practiced in an arena or outdoors at a specific location. The skill set required is not one that takes a lot of falls or injuries to learn, unlike skating, so there is a smaller chance of complete embarrassment. Since it requires no skates, helmet, padding, ice, or hockey stick, more people play pickup games of basketball than any other winter sport.

Watching basketball in the winter is entertaining and exciting. With such a fast pace, the game will never be boring.

Each team scores many times in the course of a game, so the crowd gets the chance to cheer regularly as the teams battle for momentum, unlike hockey where the average score per team is fewer than three points. Because it is easy to follow the action and the personal connection that is felt between the audience and players, people who do not usually watch sports can enjoy watching basketball. With a large following around the nation, basketball is the best sport to watch and play during the winter season.

Cross Country

Simone Vaillancourt staff writer Senior Patrick Roos has seen a lot of success during his time with the Edina Cross Country Team. Roos, who began running in ninth grade, said his choice to join the team was “the best decision [he has] ever made.” After gaining two years of experience, during which he won 1st place in the 2016 state meet, Roos has committed to the University of Minnesota Twin Cities and will continue running cross country and track during college.

Roos’s favorite aspect of being involved in cross country is having the chance to compete at meets. “[I like] traveling with the team and being able to go to all the cool places where meets are held,” he said. “[Meets are] nerve-wracking, but they are definitely my favorite part of running.” For Roos, a typical meet includes the chance to race, as well as the opportunity to support his team. There are often lines of people cheering competitors on, something Roos enjoys being a part of and experiencing while he runs. “The big meets are just packed with lots and lots of people,” said Roos, “There are people on either side [of the course] cheering runners on. It’s crazy.”

Varsity meets are held once every two weeks during the cross country season, which takes place from August to December, but the team often starts running early as a way to prepare. “We like to take a break after the track season,” said Roos, “but we do usually start to run in June, even though the season really starts in August.” During a typical season, Roos participates in up to eight meets.

Roos’s commitment to the U of M gives him the chance to continue running throughout college as a Division I athlete. He plans to run track and cross country, and will be participating actively in both sports year-round. “I’ll be running indoor track and outdoor track, and cross country during the fall,” said Roos, who is excited to continue with the sport. “It’s a great way for me to keep running after high school,” he said.

“The opportunities [that the sport] has given me are great.

I’ve been able to improve as a runner and a person by being a part of my team. The time I’ve spent running has really helped me be a better athlete,” said Roos when asked what he has taken away from his time running. Roos will carry his experiences with him to college, and is glad that he got the chance to make good memories with his team. “I’ve really been able to accomplish a lot,” said Roos. “Running cross country and track have been an awesome experience and I’m excited to continue with that in college.” Roos plans to gain much more experience at the U of M, and will no doubt continue to be a valuable part of any team. His sportsmanship and team-oriented attitude will benefit him for his time in college, and for many more years to come.

photo by Grace Wolf

Hockey is undoubtedly the best winter sport. Living in Minnesota, how can you not take advantage of the snow, ice, and (typically) freezing temperatures of winter? Hockey not only requires speed and strength, but also agility on the slippery ice. Almost all other sports are played on the ground wearing normal shoes, but the thin blades on the ice creates another challenge a hockey player has to perfect. This unique sport takes much strength, skill, practice, and dedication in order to excel at it.

Another reason why hockey is the best winter sport is the fast-paced nature of the game. While on skates, players can be from one end of the rink to the other in a matter of seconds.

If you blink you could miss out on a crucial play, or even a goal. Also, there are technically no “out of bounds” so the continuous play shows off the talents of these strong athletes.

The fast nature of this game sucks you in and captures your attention, and it is guaranteed to not have a boring moment.

This game will always keep you on the edge of your seat because at any second something incredible could happen.

Lastly, the teamwork aspect in this game is essential. There is no one person who controls the game and it’s impossible to succeed without the whole team supporting each other.

When everyone is working together the synchronization of the players on the ice is astounding and each skater’s movements flow together.

Whether you enjoy watching hockey or not, it is clearly the best sport out there and deserves our endless respect and recognition.

Eva Hadjiyanis staff writer

Athlete of the Month: Patrick Roos

Fastest man in Edina, Patrick Roos

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HUMOR

Tanner Jones’s Holiday Movie Guide Presents for Unpleasants Tanner Jones opinion editor

Anjali Aralikar staff writer

Let’s be honest, we all have that relative who gets on our nerves every holiday season.

It might be your racist great-aunt, your whiny younger brother, or the supposedly perfect cousin with a 4.3 GPA your parents never stop comparing you to. And unfortunately, you’re expected to be nice to them. In this case, Minnesota passive-aggressiveness can really come in handy, whether it’s in the case of small talk or gift giving. Gift giving is by far the best outlet for your familial angst because passive aggressive gifts tend to have a more lasting impact than snide comments and eye rolling. Here are a couple ideas for that special someone who always manages to ruin the holiday spirit.

An Empty Box This is the easiest gift to make, requiring only three easy steps to prepare. First, you must procure a box. A small box with an opening at the top is recommended, such as the low-quality Kleenex boxes here at Edina High School, but a larger shoe or cereal box can also work. Once you have procured the box, cover it using any wrapping paper as you would normally. Finally, stick it in the freezer prior to the gift exchange. Just before it’s time for gift giving, retrieve the box and stick it with the rest of the gifts.

Upon giving the gift, say: “It’s cold and empty, just like you.”

Soap For those who are willing to spend a bit more money on their gift, this is the perfect idea for that person who never keeps his outdated opinions out of family conversations.

You will need a bottle of soap. Any soap works, I recommend you try and stay away from the more expensive soaps and stick to the cheap ones you can buy at Target. If you really want to make a point, stronger soaps, such as dish washing liquid, laundry detergent, and bleach, would work extremely well.

On a simple, yet elegant and cheap card write: “For your washing out your rude mouth.”

A Live Turkey This idea is for the people who are willing to put more time and effort into their gift.

You can spend money and purchase a live turkey, but I’d recommend wrangling one yourself, as it adds a more personal touch to the gift. Live turkeys are found in almost any parks in Edina, or for the procrastinators, the woods behind EHS. If turkey wrangling seems like too much effort, an angry chicken would work just as well. Stuff the bird into a box with air holes and the gift is ready. If anyone asks why the box is moving, tell them it’s the new Apple iGift released in 2069 and change the subject.

On the box, hastily write: “It’s your problem now.”

The Latest Issue of Zephyrus This last idea is for the people who waited until the last minute to get their present.

Rather than throw this issue in the trash, kindly re-gift it to your most hated relative.

As you shove this gift into their unwilling arms, say: “I was going to throw this in the trash, but then I remembered you’re pretty much the human equivalent of a trash can.

Have a Zephyrus.”

Season’s Greetings from Zephyrus! Even Zephyrus couldn’t write a better joke than 2016. Happy News Year!

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art by Gillian Mousseau

art by Sandra Chen

The holidays are here and everyone’s looking for an excuse to get out of the house and escape the family. Luckily, our local AMC Theater can offer just that. But before you recklessly purchase a ticket, take a look at Zephyrus’s reviews: Bad Santa 2 “Bad Santa” was the top-grossing movie of this century and stunning sequel, “Bad Santa 2,” may just break that record. Santa is back. And he is bad. Your childhood dreams will be shattered when “St. Thicc” comes down your chimney and shows you the saucy side of the North Pole. I rate this movie 10/10. Elves have never been so arousing.

Doctor Strange From what I understand, Dr. Strange is similar to Dr. Dolittle and Dr. Phil in that they all involve doctors. However, don’t be deceived by the title. I don’t think the funny looking guy from Doctor Dolittle is in this movie, although he might be. I, in fact, have not seen this movie, but I’d recommend checking its “IMDB” or “Rotten Tomatoes” score if you are considering watching it.

Arrival [uh-rahy-vuh l] noun an act of arriving; a coming: His arrival was delayed by traffic. the reaching or attainment of any object or condition: arrival at a peace treaty. the person or thing that arrives or has arrived: First arrivals will be the first seated.

Trolls This stunning documentary shows us the men behind the screens as it follows the exploits of seven internet trolls. Each has a unique story and has spent hours thoughtfully executing sarcastic and striking comments on various social media networks. This eye-opener will leave you in tears as you discover the soft, lovable creators of some of the internet’s greatest flames.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them This movie was very bad and I did not like it because it was bad. Don’t let people tell you this movie was good because it was bad. Do not let this movie mislead you. I do not know where to find fantastic beasts. Frankly, I don’t know what a fantastic beast is. A better title for this movie would’ve been: “A Disappointing Waste of 15 Dollars, You Will Never Get These Painstaking 133 Minutes Back. A Better Use of Your Money Would Be Buying a Box of Matches (Around $1 at Walgreens) and Using Them to Burn Your Remaining 14 Dollars. At Least in That Scenario You Won’t Have to Watch This Awful Film, Plus You’ll Get a Few Dozen Matches Out of It Which Means Countless Hours of Fun.” Star Wars Rogue One This highly anticipated sequel to last year’s epic will not disappoint. Who is Rey? Who is Snoke? What’s Luke Skywalker been up to all this time? None of these questions will be answered and instead you’ll be left with more as the Star Wars universe becomes increasingly complex and enigmatic. Luckily, most theaters will be distributing incomplete charts documenting and organizing the various characters, family trees, and plotlines of Star Wars. I recommend using this to map out the film, and feel free to fill in the blanks as you go.