Poems by Shurland H. Aird

I am a question not yet answered

When asked what kind of person I am there is no simple answer. For it is an open-ended question— more open than ended.

Today, at this moment, I am content. By the time you read this, I may not be. Yesterday I was happy. My only worry was that I had no money. “No money” then meant less than twenty.

Tomorrow I hope to be alive. Will I be happy and contented? That’s left up to me. Or is it?

Again you ask, Who am I?

Let me ask you, Who do you see? Can I be trusted to baby-sit your children? Will you send me to the bank with a bag full of money? Can I cook for you and not make you sick? Will I keep your dark secrets? Even if they torture me?

I am a question that is not easily answered. For the answer requires that I know who I am, who I was, and who I want to be. Shurland H. Aird

Shurland H. Aird

Step by step

I am a dot. I am but a speck of dust In this vast universe. But I am also as big as the Earth. I am a whisper, Yet I am thunder. I am just a shade of light. And I am blinding to the eyes. I am a morsel of food. I am a vat full of grain. I am numb. I feel deep, deep, deep inside. I am blind. I have the sight of a hawk high, high, high above the clouds. I gasp for air. I breathe the breath of life. I am alone. I am surrounded by many, many, many engulfi ng entities. Step by step, I become One. Shurland H. Aird

Where are the words

Where are the words that say who I am?

Where are the words that describe where I’ve been?

Where are the words that say I can?

Where are the words that show my fears?

Where are the words that show my true feelings?

Where are the words that I am looking for?

The words. The words. The words.

In a word, I have none. My silence is deafening. I want to scream. That will be a sound, not a word. Not a word. Shhhhhh…. Shurland H. Aird

My best friend Pat

We met by chance— me out cruising, he returning from the hardware store. Our friendship was instant. Our love developed over time. He taught me grace and sophistication. I taught him patience and humility. He opened up a whole new world to me and guided me through it all. His family became mine, and mine became his. Long after we were lovers, we remained best friends. When my father died, he was there. When I got two “Dear Shurland” letters from the same person, he was there. When I needed help to go on vacation with him, he was there. When I fell in love with San Francisco and decided to move there, he was pissed, hurt, and worried for me. He, however, gave me his blessings with the understanding that at the first sign of trouble I would call and he would bring me home. He got sick and I did come home. I had to say goodbye to my Brother, my Lover, my Teacher, my Mentor. He was then, and he would always be until the day I die, by best friend, Pat. Shurland H. Aird

A time gone by

Fifty cents for a hamburger. Twenty-five for the train. A pair of jeans only cost five dollars. And you did not need a loan to buy a pair of sneakers. You could see a movie or two— six bucks got you popcorn and a soda, too. For five hundred dollars you could rent a mansion. A ten-dollar hooker gave you the full works. The STD was free. A bottle of Ripple was just a nickel. And your groceries did not cost a bundle. But the cost of good manners and the cost of respect, just like kindness, have not gone up by one cent. Shurland H. Aird

How?

How I dreaded making that call. What would I say? How would they take it? I had gone over many different versions in my mind. None seemed appropriate. How could I say I had a killing disease? How could I say I might not live much longer? How could I say to my nieces and nephews that I might not see them get married? How could I say I did not want to die? How could I say I felt ashamed? Shurland H. Aird

To be or not to be a citizen

New country. New hopes. New dreams. New realities. Took the GED exam. Nothing stood in my way. I got my high school diploma. I got a job. Got laid off. Got unemployment. I attended college. Got TAP and Bell grants. Got a degree. Changed careers. Got sick. Got help from the government. But I was not satisfied. I did not have a voice to decide what was best for me. I got a lawyer. I got my citizenship. I got my say. Shurland H. Aird