I DON’T WANT TO FIT

On Being Nonbinary And The Beauty Standard

BY JAMES THORNBURG

I am nonbinary and I have been out for about five years. I wear skirts and sweaters; t-shirts and blouses; ties and necklaces. I have had short and long hair. My hair has been dyed in every color imaginable. I have piercings galore in my ears. I wear plaids and florals. I wear binders and push-up bras. In short, I wear anything and everything and I fit nowhere. Society does not have a place for nonbinary people; in some ways, this is a tragedy. There is no bathroom for us at most locations. Most sex ed doesn’t include us. And sometimes we are even killed. But society also doesn’t have a place for nonbinary people in the beauty standard and this is a gift. Nonbinary people are so much more than a standard, we are a spectrum.

Q. WHAT IS THE CRAZIEST THING YOU’VE EVER DONE?

“I spent three weeks studying Shakespeare tragedies in the Mojave desert in Utah”

Q. WHERE DID YOU GROW UP?

“Chicago”

Q. ARE YOU A CAT OR A DOG PERSON?

“Dog person, they’re not evil like cats”

Q. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT?

“Bar chords on the guitar”

Q. WHAT GENRE OF MUSIC DO YOU LIKE BEST?

“Rock and Roll”

“I didn’t set out to teach, I just liked to read and write, but over the years I feel like I’ve come to exactly the right place. When I was really young, I might have said that I wanted to be a journalist because I liked to write”•

In America, men are supposed to be strong and muscular while women are expected to be petite and toned. I am neither. While my legs are toned my stomach is jiggly. My arms are strong but not petite like women’s arms are expected to be.

In America, men don’t wear makeup and women are supposed to wear it all the time. Every morning I paint on bold eyeliner with large wings and put on blush. But unlike most women, I don’t wear foundation or black mascara. Instead, I paint my lashes a thousand different colors.

In America, men are expected to be hairy and women are supposed to shave. When I shower, I shave my arms but not my armpits. I keep my legs hairy and relish the feeling of touching the sprouts of hair there.

In America, men are masculine and women are feminine while I am both and neither, my siblings are both and neither. My siblings wear eyeshadow, belts, skirts, and suit jackets. My siblings get tattoos, piercing, breast augmentations, and bottom surgery. My siblings take estrogren and inject testosterone. My siblings shave their bodies and grow a beard. My siblings grow their hair out and cut it off. My siblings wear necklaces, neckties, and chokers. My siblings cover up and show skin. My siblings wear clown core, goth, and streetwear aesthetic. My family expresses themselves any way they want and there is no way a beauty standard can encapsulate that. •