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Upcoming submission deadline for advertisers & contributors: DEC ‘26 EDITION - 6TH NOV | JAN ‘27 EDITION - 4TH DEC ‘26
From the Editor
Explosive Greetings on this fine November Readers,
Isn’t if funny this time of year… I feel like I’m seeing moustaches everywhere! Mo-ving on… You can’t beat a lovely, well organised firework display and ‘tis the season. I personally love it but I think I’ve mentioned before that my rescue dog Flake is absolutely terrified of this time of year and I know he isn’t the exception. I don’t know what happened to him to make him so scared and he won’t tell me, best guess is that this is why he got abandoned in the first place as he is supposed to be a gun dog. One can’t help but wonder why we can’t make the fireworks silent, which would suit the masses of people who don’t like the noise including animals but still keep the beautiful displays running. Anyway, I digress as I don’t think it will change anytime soon and I shall simply switch up the telly, pop on his thunder jacket and cuddle him, little poppet. Anyhoo, by the time you’re reading this Celebrity Traitors will be done and at Voice Magazines HQ we will be in a state of loss as we’re all massive fans. My predictions are: the Traitors will win, the remaining faithful will inexplicably vote to end the game, one of the traitors will become the new ‘Nasty Nick’, one of the faithful will become a national treasure, and Ross Kemp will raise an eyebrow. I wonder how I did?
WITH 11 MAGAZINES COVERING DERBYSHIRE & NOTTINGHAMSHIRE, Why not advertise in another area
During this fanfest, we decided to do something a little different one Friday afternoon. Our Lisa is currently going through the mill, so we collected a chippy lunch and we played the Traitors board game for the afternoon. It took 4 hours to do challenge one but it was so much fun, highly recommend. Since Mr Emily and myself started watching traitors, I have never wanted to be a ‘Traitor’, every series I want to be a ‘Faithful’…..you can see where this is going right!! You need to have a good memory to be a good Traitor and since entering my 40’s….well…. Dory from Finding Nemo seems a little too generous for the state of my brain these days!! Anyway, I was victorious and was never discovered, only getting one nomination throughout 4 round tables…despite eye rolling very loudly upon turning the card over!! But next time, and if we ever get the chance to do a live experience, I 1000% want to be a faithful. It is hard work being a Traitor and I feel James Acaster’s plight – I hope he gets the money though, he’s earned it!! Onwards to December, the big red fella is on his way and for the 40th salient year in a row – I am absolutely not ready!! Happy Reading, Emily x
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Printed by Image2Print Ltd and distributed to 5,200 homes in Derbyshire. Disclaimer: No responsibility is accepted by Voice Magazines Limited for claims, errors or omissions made in advertisements appearing in this issue. All advertisers are accepted in good faith and we are not responsible for views expressed by contributor or other sources. Reproduction of the contents of this magazine is not permitted without the prior consent of the publisher, Voice Magazines Limited, Registered in England & Wales No: 10550557
Spot The Moustache:
KIDS & FAMILIES
It’s Right Under Your Nose!
Each November a strange thing happens… upper lips start sprouting fur and razors start going rusty. Yes, that’s right it’s moustache season! Men everywhere start growing a tache, (often with varying degrees of success!) to raise money and awareness for men’s health issues. Soon it starts to feel like they start popping up everywhere, so we’d thought we’d have a bit of fun with it on our front covers by placing some moustaches in some unusual places. Did you find them all? While they may raise a smile, the humble moustache has a fascinating history stretching back thousands of years. The earliest evidence of moustaches dates back to ancient civilisations, where facial hair was often seen as a symbol of strength, wisdom and status. Throughout history, moustaches have come in and out of fashion more times than we can count. From the grand handlebar moustaches of the Victorian era to the neat military styles of the early twentieth century, they have long been used to make a statement. In the 1800s, a fine moustache was almost a requirement for gentlemen wishing to appear distinguished. Military officers across Europe often sported impressive facial hair, and moustaches became associated with bravery and leadership. Later, during the twentieth century, styles evolved alongside changing fashions, with famous actors, musicians and sports stars helping to shape the trends of their day. Today, moustaches are worn for all sorts of reasons. Some people simply enjoy the style, while others grow one to support an important cause. And that brings us to Movember. Every November, millions of people around the world take part in the Movember movement, which encourages participants to grow a moustache while raising awareness and funds for men’s health issues. Since its beginnings in Australia in 2003, Movember has become a global campaign focusing on mental health, suicide prevention, prostate cancer and testicular cancer.
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What started as a light-hearted challenge between friends has grown into one of the world’s most recognised charity movements. The moustache serves as a visible conversation starter, helping people discuss important health topics that can sometimes be difficult to talk about. And, of course, moustaches come in an extraordinary variety of shapes and styles. There’s the wonderfully extravagant Handlebar, the neat Pencil, the classic Chevron, the distinctive Horseshoe, the impressive Walrus, the upturned English, the quirky Fu Manchu, the petite Toothbrush and the rather grand Imperial, to name just a few. They can be bushy, curled, carefully waxed, long, short, perfectly groomed or left to do their own thing! With so many different styles to choose from, we thought we’d have a little fun with this month by seeing how many we could hide in a range of seasonal scenes. Whether you’re proudly growing your own moustache this month, supporting someone who is, or simply enjoying the creative designs on our cover, it’s worth remembering that this iconic strip of facial hair has been making its mark for centuries. From ancient warriors to Victorian gentlemen, from charity fundraisers to our own fun front cover creations, the moustache continues to prove that sometimes the simplest things can leave the greatest impression. So, if November inspires you to grow a moustache of your own, wear it with pride. You’ll be joining a tradition that has survived thousands of years and helped support a very worthwhile cause along the way.
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WE INVITE YOU TO PAUSE FOR A MOMENT. Take a breath, read these words, reflect, and remember the courage, sacrifice and lives of those who gave so much. Lest we forget.
For the Fallen: - by Laurence Binyon With proud thanksgiving, a mother for her children, England mourns for her dead across the sea. Flesh of her flesh they were, spirit of her spirit, Fallen in the cause of the free.
They mingle not with their laughing comrades again; They sit no more at familiar tables of home; They have no lot in our labour of the day-time; They sleep beyond England’s foam.
Solemn the drums thrill: Death august and royal Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres. There is music in the midst of desolation And a glory that shines upon our tears.
But where our desires are and our hopes profound, Felt as a well-spring that is hidden from sight, To the innermost heart of their own land they are known As the stars are known to the Night;
They went with songs to the battle, they were young, Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow. They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted, They fell with their faces to the foe.
As the stars that shall be bright when we are dust, Moving in marches upon the heavenly plain, As the stars that are starry in the time of our darkness, To the end, to the end, they remain.
They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old: Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn. At the going down of the sun and in the morning We will remember them.
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We are an independent family owned and run funeral business, here to help local families arrange unique and personal funerals for loved ones. We are a team of friendly and caring funeral professionals. We’re all local people ourselves, and are here to support and guide you through this difficult time. Whether you wish to say goodbye with a traditional funeral, a simple farewell or arrange something a bit different, we are here to help you every step of the way.
Call us or visit our website at any time www.gillotts.co.uk
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HEALTH & BEAUTY
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AMBER VALLEY RUGBY CLUB THE SEASON IS IN FULL SWING! The 2026/27 season is officially up and running, and it’s fantastic to see every section of Amber Valley RUFC back doing what they love — playing rugby! The men got their league campaign off to a flying start with a brilliant 19-12 victory over Ilkeston 2s. Valley played hard from the whistle, with strong defence, powerful forward carries and some great attacking rugby. Captain Tom Dexter crossed twice, with vice-captain Jacob Clarke adding another try. A fantastic start, and one that shows just how much the squad has developed after all their hard work over the summer!
Our women have also made a positive start. Their friendly against East Retford may not have gone Valley’s way on the scoreboard, but the full Valley team showed some great pieces of play and, importantly, plenty of team spirit. With new players settling in and even a first-ever game for Kelly, there’s lots to be excited about. And our minis and juniors have been flying too! From festivals to first-ever matches, there have been huge smiles, new friendships and some fantastic rugby. Our Cubs, U6s and U7s even took part in their very first games! It’s brilliant to have the whole club buzzing again. Here’s to a fantastic season ahead!
Keep an eye on our socials for all the latest games, news and events. We’re always welcoming new players across all sections, whether you’re new to rugby, returning to the game or simply want to get involved.
One Club. One Family. One Valley.
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Interested in giving rugby a try? call Stuart 07966 867 946 for the men, Gareth 07595 520 537 for the ladies and Paul 07790 403 043 for the Minis and Juniors. More than just a club, we are the #ValleyFamily. You can visit our website www.ambervalleyrfc.co.uk, Facebook & Instagram pages to contact us or follow what we do. You can find us at Lower Somercotes, Somercotes, Alfreton DE55 4NQ
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HEALTH & BEAUTY
MORE THAN JUST A SMILE:
Choosing your dental implant treatment Losing a tooth can affect far more than your smile. It can change the way you eat, speak and even how confident you feel in everyday situations. At Glendair, we believe dental implants can be genuinely life-changing — helping you get back to enjoying life without worrying about a missing tooth. A dental implant is a long-term solution that replaces the root of a missing tooth, supporting a natural-looking crown. The result is a secure, functional tooth that can help you eat your favourite foods, speak comfortably and smile with confidence.
But what happens if you simply leave a missing tooth? It can be tempting to do nothing. However, after an extraction, the bone that once supported the tooth can gradually shrink because it is no longer being stimulated. This can reduce support for your cheeks and lips, potentially contributing to a more sunken appearance, facial sagging and the development of facial lines and wrinkles. Neighbouring teeth may also move into the space making future treatment more complicated and costly.
Replacing a tooth can therefore be about much more than aesthetics — it can help protect your oral health and preserve the foundations of your smile. At Glendair, we understand that choosing dental implant treatment is a big decision. Our experienced team takes time to understand what you want to achieve and guides you through every step, from your initial consultation and 3D imaging through to your completed smile.
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HEALTH & BEAUTY
Mr Jonathan Harper BSc(Hons) Podiatry. HCPC registered Podiatrist/Chiropodist, Member of the Royal College of Podiatry (RCPod) 20 Years NHS/private practice experience treating foot and ankle disorders for adults and children. • Offering treatment for the following: • Corns, calluses, other problematic skin problems. Thickened/fungal nails • Infected ingrowing toenails ingrowing (Nails surgery under local anaesthetic available) • Verrucas and warts (hands and feet) • Fungal skin and nail infections • High Risk group foot care and diabetic foot assessments • Foot and ankle pain and sports injuries including injection therapy Week day and Saturday appointments available. See our reviews on yell.com
FOR ENQUIRIES PLEASE CONTACT:
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STUNNING HOLIDAY COTTAGE IN WARKWORTH, NORTHUMBERLAND Treat yourself to a luxury break at the 4* Gold Award winning Little Red Hen House. An elegant and cosy holiday home just a 7 minute drive from award-winning and dog-friendly Warkworth beach.
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DERWENT WIREWORKS, MATLOCK ROAD, AMBERGATE, DERBYSHIRE, 2HE Don’t forget to mention Voice Magazines whenDE56 responding to the Ads
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YOU ARE HERE BY DAVID NICHOLLS David Nicholls’ novel You Are Here is a grown-up person’s love story. As a reader who really doesn’t fall for love stories, I genuinely didn’t want this one to end. It’s funny, unsentimental, warm, full of hope and the perfect antidote to the gloom of the outside world. The backdrop is a 10-day coast-to-coast hike, organised with friends, across the lakes and fells of the North, with its unrelenting and sometimes apocalyptic weather. Michael – geography teacher, dry sense of humour, almost divorcee, nice chap; falls into walking with Marnie – copy editor, lives in London, recovering from a dodgy marriage, but blessed with a similar off-beat maybe even quirkier sense of humour. The dialogue is wonderfully sharp-tongued but without malice. The name of the book comes from those maps which point with an arrow - You Are Here - so you can orientate yourself. But it’s also maybe about what happens when you take yourself out of normal surroundings and thought patterns and just live. It’s a really human book, also looking at loneliness and friendship but without any mawkishness. It’s lovely and wise. I found myself really wanting it to work out for them as people. They seemed like proper human beings. A very satisfying read.
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FOOD & RETAIL
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SLIMMING WORLD
NAME Beef and broccoli in oyster sauce SERVES: 4
SWIPS: 1 per serving
READY IN: 25 minutes Full of rich, savoury flavour, this tasty combination of tender beef and broccoli in oyster sauce comes together in this satisfying dish. A simple recipe that’s perfect for a cosy November meal.
1.
Method:
Ingredients:
400g thin-stemmed broccoli, trimmed and cut into 5cm lengths 1 cal cooking spray 2 large red peppers, deseeded and cut into chunks 2 large carrots, cut into batons
For the sauce:
2.
2 level tbsp oyster sauce 2 tbsp dark soy sauce or tamari 1 level tbsp cornflour
400g lean beef rump steak, visible fat removed (at room temperature)
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Spray a large non-stick wok or frying pan with 1 cal cooking spray and put it over a high heat. Tip in the broccoli, peppers and carrots and stir-fry for 5 minutes or until lightly charred in places.
3.
Add the ginger and cook for 1 minute, then throw in the bamboo shoots with the can liquid and stir-fry for 2-3 minutes or until the vegetables soften.
4.
At the same time, spray another non-stick frying pan with 1 cal cooking spray and put it over a
5cm piece fresh root ginger, peeled and cut into matchsticks 2 x 225g cans bamboo shoots
Put the broccoli in a large bowl, cover with boiling water and set aside for 3 minutes, then drain well.
high heat. When it’s smoking hot, add the steak and cook to your liking (about 3 minutes on each side for medium). Remove from the heat and rest for at least 5 minutes before slicing thinly, against the grain. 5.
To make the sauce, put the oyster sauce and soy sauce in a bowl. Mix the cornflour with 1 tbsp water to make a paste and add that to the bowl, along with 100ml water. Mix well until thickened, then add the sauce to the veg and heat through for 2 minutes, tossing to coat well. Add the steak and toss again so everything’s combined. Serve with rice.
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FOOD & RETAIL
When is the right time to book a cruise? “Should I book now or wait?” It's a question I hear all the time. The truth is that there isn't a magic month or a secret booking window that guarantees you the best cruise or the best price. The right time to book a cruise is when you're ready to book. But being ready isn't just about having decided where you want to go. It's about knowing what matters to you – your dates, the destination, the ship, the type of cabin and the experience you want from your holiday. For destinations such as Japan, Asia, or Alaska, especially when they're trips you've been dreaming of for years, getting the right sailing and experience matters. Even something as simple as which side of the ship you choose can affect your experience. Depending on the itinerary and time of year, it can make a difference to the views and sunshine you'll enjoy from your balcony. And there is plenty to choose from. 2027 is already on sale, 2028 is available and some 2029 departures have already been released.
That doesn't mean you need to book years ahead. It means there are choices to consider – and sometimes knowing which sailing, ship or itinerary is right for you is more important than simply knowing how far in advance to book. Some cruises are different. When a brand-new ship launches, or a cruise line releases a one-off itinerary, demand can be high from the moment it goes on sale. If it's something you really want to experience, being ready when reservations open could make the difference between being on board or staying at home. After all, it's not about finding the perfect time to book. It's about knowing the cruise, understanding what matters to you, and knowing when you've found the perfect holiday.
Mandy Oldknow T R AV E L C O U N S E L L O R
Scan the QR Code for my Website
01773 318540 20
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ABOVE AND BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY
Lots of people do fantastic things in their lives but very often they go unrecognised. Derbyshire’s Lord Lieutenant asks, ‘can we change things in Derbyshire?’ They may be doing amazing voluntary work in the community, working tirelessly to safeguard the environment, creating lots of employment in a local company, achieving incredible sporting triumphs or helping people face and overcome health problems.
All you need to do is fill out the nomination form, gather evidence of the impact of the person’s activities and get letters of support from people who know them or have benefitted from their activities.
The aim of the King’s Birthday and New Year Honours is to celebrate all these selfless types of activity. Anyone can be nominated for an Honour at any time.
Why not have a go at a nomination. You might help the person get the recognition they deserve and it will give you a warm glow in doing so!
Elizabeth Fothergill Lord Lieutenant
MBE (M) Ladies
More information is available at www.gov.uk/honours. and the Derbyshire Lord Lieutenant’s Honours Panel is here to help as well. They can be contacted by emailing Debra.Heaton - Lieutenancy@derbyshiredales.gov.uk
01773 712888
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Tailored blinds & curtains FREE HOME SURVEY & QUOTATION
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KIDS & FAMILIES
Swanwick Primary School Nursery and Reception Spaces will be available for September 2027
Applications open 9th November!
We welcome visits and would love to meet you. Visit our website to find out more or give us a call!
Nestled in our beautiful school setting, you will find our Nursery and Reception Unit. A magical land of outdoor adventures, mud pies and high level interactions. All
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UPCOMING EVENTS AT RIDDINGS PARK COMMUNITY CENTRE
WEST ST, RIDDINGS, ALFRETON, DE55 4EW.
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Alfreton & District Heritage Trust WWW.ALFRETONANDDISTRICTHERITAGETRUST.WORDPRESS.COM
THE BITER BIT OR THE DEVIL AND SAMMY WEBSTER
Having written about Ghostly Goings On at Outseats Terrace in the October Voice Magazine it was rather spooky to come across a peculiar poem written by James Cockayne on the 20th March, 1896 which tells of the Devil visiting a local man, Sammy Webster. The Cockayne family lived at Outseats Terrace and were mentioned in the October article. The poem tells the story of the night the Devil called on Sammy Webster. According to the story, Sammy bribed the Devil to give him an extra year of life …On payment of £50! There’s a twist to the tale though, when Old Nick came back for his money Sammy’s friend, Teddy Farnsworth was there and he set about the caller who turned out to be a human devil in disguise! Were Sammy Webster, Teddy Farnsworth or indeed the Devil, real people? Or is it just another mystery connected to Outseats Terrace? Maybe you have the answer.
24
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COMMUNITY
Charity Carol Concert Rotary Club of Alfreton
at St Andrew’s Church Swanwick
Thursday, 17th December, 2026 at 7.15pm
SHIRLAND WELFARE BAND TREBLE CLEF CHOIR ADMISSION – £8.00 Supporting Rotary Charities
Entry either by ticket or pay at the door. Tickets available from Alfreton Rotary members or by contacting Keith Hardy – 07928 087445 or Roger Stevenson – 07902 757950 Tickets also available from Iansprint, Nottingham Road, Alfreton.
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25
FOOD & RETAIL
A dogs Day out
This scenic walk makes great use of some of the paths and trails heading north from Tibshelf Ponds before turning back to head back down the Five Pits Trail. We last featured this walk over 13 years ago! But we regularly walk around this area, so it was no surprise to find there was very little change needed to the instructions. We thought it was the perfect walk for an autumnal Sunday leg stretch, and so did Flake. 4.5 MILE CIRCULAR WALK FROM TIBSHELF PONDS VIA SAW PIT LANE AND THE FIVE PITS TRAIL A moderate walk for you and your dog. This walk should take around 2 hours to complete. There is a range of terrain, with some muddy and uneven sections, so make sure you wear appropriate footwear. There are a couple of roads to cross, so take plenty of care. And as always, follow the Countryside Code.
START: Tibshelf Ponds Car Park, Sunny Bank, Tibshelf, Alfreton DE55 5PG
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1.
From inside the car park go through the gap to the left of the car park entrance and turn left onto a path passing a pond on your left and then a pond on your right. Continue ahead until you arrive at two paths turning left. Ignore the sharp left turn signposted for “Five Pits Trail” and take the other left path heading gently uphill.
2.
Continue along this path passing through a metal width restriction gate. Continue straight ahead until you reach a right turn. At this
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point the path becomes a lane. Continue straight on, along “Saw Pit Lane”. 3.
4.
5.
Passing a lane on the left, continue straight to cross the motorway. The lane then bears left and runs alongside the motorway for some time. After passing a few buildings on the left you will reach a main road. Turn left along the road to pass back over the motorway. After crossing the motorway turn immediately right in front of the first house to go up a lane. When entering the lane you will see a stile on your right. Ignore this and go straight up the lane keeping houses on your left and trees on your right. At the end of the houses continue straight, keeping the hedge on your left. At the very end of the hedgerow turn 90 degrees left to cross an open field on a thin grass path. Continue across the field and then pass some tall conifers on your left. Continue straight to pass through a gap in the fence and onto a main road. Cross the road and turn right and after passing house number 69 on the left turn left through a gap in a stone wall. This path will take you between the buildings and on into a field with a fence on your left.
6.
Continue straight, keeping the fence and eventually a hedge on your left, and into a small dip with a yellow marker post. Leaving the hedge behind go straight to cross an open field towards a second yellow marker post and a hedgerow. Continue straight for a short distance, keeping the hedge on your right. When you reach a hedgerow directly in front of you turn right through a wooden gate.
7.
Keeping the hedge on your left cross an open field to arrive at two wooden gates. Take the gate on your right and continue straight with the hedge on your left. At the far end of this
8.
Turn left along the lane for a short distance and then fork right off onto the track close to the tall hedgerow on your right and pass through a gap in the corner of the field.
9.
Keeping the tall hedge on your right continue straight to pass a marker post on your right and then continue downhill along the edge of a field. At the bottom of the field bear left to follow the edge of the field and eventually through a gap in the fence onto the “Five Pits Trail”
10. Turn left along the trail and after a longdistance pass through a gap by a metal gate and go straight on. After a short distance you will reach a crossroads, take the path ahead signposted for “Five Pits Trail”. 11. Eventually you will come to a main road. Cross the road and continue along the trail. After a short distance continue straight to pass the “Canter Track” on your left. After a while you will come to a path that bears left. Ignore this and continue straight, keeping a fence on your right. 12. The trail eventually heads downhill and at the bottom on the left you will find the Tibshelf Ponds car park.
This walk is for illustrative purposes only. Voice Magazines Ltd takes no responsibility for anyone who chooses to follow this route and encourages all walkers to obey all byelaws and signs and to respect the area they are walking in, ensuring they pick up all dog mess and obey the countryside code at all times.
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dan-kelly26@hotmail.co.uk www.dankelly-windows.co.uk
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and Guess the words rd! ! o w s s o r c Fill in the
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Across 9 How on Earth can you engrave with ketchup? (4) 10 Garden pest that’s leaden? (4) 11 Immoral sort of ends? (5) 12 Time travel could be on the list (4) 14 Salty aluminium mined from a lumber yard? (4)
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Welch in my gambling with a tree? (7)
15 Big distance between taking off a rap artist (3,5)
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Gets to the mat at first light? It’s a Lima thing (5,4)
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ANSWERS FOR LAST MONTHS PITCHERWITS Across: 1 Lose friends, 5 Ski, 7 Flu, 8 Not real, 10 Cambric, 11 Pool cue, 14 Gas, 15 Rut, 16 Time machine. Down: 1 Loses weight, 2 Felt, 3 Idle, 4 Square metre, 6 Ink caps, 7 Flicker, 9 Rebel, 12 Ovum, 13 Chic.
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Remedies for a Chesty Cough The season of coughs, colds and flu is upon us once more. Our popular presentation, “Vick and Virol”, looks at remedies relied upon in days gone by. No respectable medicine cabinet lacked chest rubs and cough mixtures. As a child, I favoured Venos for its liquorice flavour. At the dawn of the 20th century, pharmacists and family doctors concocted their own remedies. L E Hughes of Riddings, Derbyshire, offered “Five Ha’porths”, a cough preparation containing laudanum. He also devised “Four Ha’porths” for diarrhoea. Heaven forbids one should muddle the two! More alarming was “One Night”, an American preparation devised in the 1880s containing alcohol, cannabis, morphine and chloroform. Wright’s coal-tar vaporiser and inhaler is remembered
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for relieving croup and whooping cough, and many folk swore by it. Those of modest means might instead inhale tarry vapours whilst roadmen laid a fresh surface. Perhaps most alarming, GPs advised smoking a cigarette to ease asthma or bronchitis—a practice commonplace until the 1950s. I shall stick to my flu jab and Buttercup syrup, if it is all the same to you!
Janet and Paul Barrass are All Around the Shire. Find us on or email: oldfield512@btinternet.com for more information.
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SUDOKU #76!
Fill in all the numbers This is a sudoku 1 square grid 81 cells 9 3x3 blocks 1 simple rule: Use all the numbers 1-9, with no duplicates allowed, in any row, column, or block.
These puzzles are devised by the brilliant Professor Rebus. For more of his puzzles visit www.pitcherwits.co.uk
!! " # % ! & # % # ( ' & % ( $ & # $ % " & ! ( & )
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MIKE’S MUSINGS
Am I the only one, or are others becoming increasingly fed up with American words, phrases and customs taking over our language/way of life? (Part 9)
Well, it has taken nearly a year, but I reckon we’ve gone about as far as we can with this topic, and I’d like to thank all those who have sent in examples that get you hopping mad. I reckon we finish off with some crackers. Ellen (Riddings) was in Chicago on holiday visiting friends, and before she headed back, wanted to buy a gift by way of thanks for the hospitality she had received. Entering a big shopping mall, she asked one of the security guards where was the best place to buy what she had in mind. “Try that drugstore, over there”, came the reply. Ellen, thinking that the guy had not understood her Derbyshire accent, was a bit perplexed, and hoping that this might be – at best! - a pharmacy, decided that it was not at all what she had in mind. Finlay (Newton) got in touch to say that although he was born on 4th July (very appropriate given the topic!) 2012, Americans think he arrived on 7th April that year. He went on to explain that while we would record his birthdate as 4/7/12, on the other side of the Atlantic, that becomes 7/4/12. Finally, and I really liked this from Brian (Alfreton) who pointed out that when applying for a job in the States, you’re generally asked to submit an up-to-date resumé. What’s wrong with the good old English Curriculum Vitae, asks Brian, with, I suspect, his tongue firmly in his cheek?
-------------------------------My wife has enrolled on a course designed to help people develop the skills necessary to become a successful clairvoyant. She thought she was doing all right, but she is a bit outspoken and perhaps went a bit too far one night as the class tutor told her that he’d had enough of her backchat and asked her to leave and never come back. She may have thought that she’d been doing well, but she certainly didn’t see that coming! ...and My grandson has become a bit of an ornithologist and is particularly intrigued (& rather bizarrely) by the mating habits of barn owls. “Why Grumps (that’s me by the way)”, he asked, “do they not mate when it’s raining?” “Easy”, I replied, “it’s because it’s too wet to woo!” finally... Luke Littler, current world darts champion, has recently been involved in a bit of a tabloid spat with an old schoolmate. Apparently, whilst training at a local pub for a tournament, his pal turned up and did what he had done a few times when they were both at school. He applied some glue to one of the darts and when Luke remonstrated with him, saying it was time he stopped playing these childish pranks, his mate replied “C’mon Luke, I’m only having a laugh. You just can’t let it go, can you!”
Mike is always glad to hear from you at:
42
mike.musings@outlook.com
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OUR PROMISE TO YOU FlameCare endeavour to provide first-class customer service, advice, workmanship and value for money to all our past, present and prospective customers.
British Gas
4.9
(per month**)
With gas fire
(Homecare Complete)
Central Heating, Plumbing & Drains & Gas Fire. Includes Annual Service
£45.92†† (Homecare Basic)
Complete Central Heating, Plumbing & Drains. Includes Annual Service
Standard
£29.70†† (Homecare Classic)
Boiler & Controls Cover, Includes Annual Service
£21.07††
FlameCare (per month**)
Flamecare Over 50s & NHS Blue Light Cards
£29.95
£27.95
£23.95
£21.95
£16.95
£14.95
(per month**)
Why Choose FlameCare?
APPLYING IS EASY Call freephone† 0800 08 555 18 www.flamecare.co.uk Flamecare (Homeplan) Ltd, 65-67 Chatsworth Road, Chesterfield S40 2AL
SCAN ME
† Calls to our 0800 0855 518 number are free from all UK-based landlines & mobiles. *Prices may vary depending on the current age and make of boiler, this offer applies to new customers only. **Prices shown are inclusive of VAT. † † Prices correct as of 01-01-21. Third-party prices may vary. Prices correct as of 30-08-24. Third-party prices may vary. British Gas prices are based on a Baxi Boiler less than 5 years old. FlameCare prices are based on all boiler brands less than 5 years old.
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Full Parts & Labour Guarantee. Free initial service (Worth £85). No minimum contract. Price guarantee for first 12-months. No excess. Unlimited call-outs. Accidental damage cover. Additional discount for landlords with 2 or more properties.
Reg No. 3368710
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HOME IMPROVEMENTS
We have over 30 years in the trade and are a family run business. Specialists in...
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08/06/2017 17:43
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GARDEN SERVICES
W
INDOWS play a vital role in keeping your home warm (and cool), secure, and energy efficient. However, over time, even high-quality double and triple glazed windows can develop faults that affect their performance.
What Are the Most Common Window Repairs? One of the most common window problems homeowners experience is misted or fogged double glazing. This occurs when the sealed unit between the panes of glass fails, allowing moisture to enter the gap. As develops inside the unit, the glass becomes cloudy, visibility is reduced, and the window loses some of its insulating properties. Many homeowners assume the entire window needs replacing, but in most cases only the failed glass unit needs to be changed, making it a cost-effective repair that restores both appearance and energy efficiency. Another issue many homeowners face is condensation forming on the inside of windows, particularly during colder months. Unlike misted double glazing, this type of condensation is usually caused by excess moisture within the home from activities such as cooking, showering, and drying clothes indoors. Poor ventilation can make the problem worse, leading to mould growth, and damp patches.
Benefits of Window Repairs Repairing existing windows is often the most cost-effective solution when the frames remain structurally sound.
Advantages of window repairs include:
y Lower cost compared to full window replacement
y The windows are very old and no
longer meet modern energy-efficiency standards
y Faster installation and less disruption
y Significant draughts remain despite
y Improved energy efficiency by
y You want to upgrade the appearance,
to your home
replacing failed glass units or seals
y Restored security through lock, handle, and hinge repairs
y Extended lifespan of existing windows y Reduced environmental impact by avoiding unnecessary waste
y Preservation of the original
appearance of your property
y For example, if a double-glazed unit
has become misted due to a failed seal, the glass unit can often be replaced while keeping the original frame intact. This restores both clarity and thermal performance at a fraction of the cost of a completely new window.
When is Window Replacement Necessary? Although repairs can solve many common faults, there are situations where replacement may be the better long-term investment. Replacement may be recommended when:
y Window frames are structurally damaged
y Multiple components have failed simultaneously
previous repairs
security, or thermal performance of your home
y Older timber windows suffering from
rot, or uPVC frames that have become severely damaged, may no longer provide a reliable foundation for repairs. In these cases, replacement can offer better long-term value.
Repair vs Replace: Which Offers Better Value? For most homeowners, professional repairs provide the best return on investment when the window frames are still in good condition. Replacing a misted glass unit, fitting new hinges, repairing locks, or replacing seals can restore performance, improve comfort, and reduce energy bills without the expense of installing brand-new windows. Full replacement should generally be viewed as a solution for windows that are beyond economical repair or when homeowners wish to significantly improve the appearance and efficiency of their property. By arranging an assessment or contacting w, homeowners can determine whether a targeted repair will resolve the issue or whether replacement is the more practical long-term option. In many cases, a simple repair can add years to the life of a window while saving hundreds or even thousands of pounds compared to a complete replacement.
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GARDEN SERVICES
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GARDEN SERVICES
NATURE NOTES FROM THE PEAK DISTRICT
FUNGI MAKE A GRAND ENTRANCE TO THE AUTUMN SEASON
PENNY BUN
A visit to less intensively managed upland meadows and pastures can be an eyeopener during the autumn, as a myriad of fungi (toadstools or mushrooms) make their appearance. Prime examples on acidic grasslands are a wealth of so-called “Waxcap” mushrooms which often emerge in splendid bright colours from pinks through to yellows and orange. These delightful toadstools are not edible for humans but serve as “indicators” of conservation importance and antiquity of pastures and wood-pastures. Sites in the Peak and Pennines include areas of international significance. Autumn is by no means the only time of year for fungi to be present and visible, but it is undoubtedly the time for numbers and variety. This is even more so if we are following a long, very hot and dry summer with early autumnal rains to provide moisture in the ground. Suddenly, “mushrooms” seem to appear everywhere around woodlands, hedgerows and meadows, and even in parks and gardens. The fungi pictured include a member of the Boletus group or Boletes, a “basidiomycete fungus” that produces sexual spores on club-shaped cells called basidia. The Boletes are especially obvious because if you look under the cap of the mushroom the surface is full of tubes (where the spores develop) rather than on flaps or gills as in the common edible mushrooms. Boletes also tend to be rather large and chunky. The specimen pictured is the so-called “Penny Bun” (Boletus edulis) and good to eat, is often referred to as the “King of Edible Fungi”. Each cap is around six inches wide, and these are known and celebrated across Europe. In France, that centre
ROOMS
PENNY BUN MUSH
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of mushroom-related cuisine, they are called Ceps, in Germany, they are Steinpilz, and in Italy Porcini. Here in Britain, because they look like a nicely baked crusty cob, they are popularly known as “Penny Buns”. These are considered the most useful and delicious of the wild, edible mushrooms and are relatively easy to identify. Having tubes and pores under the cap rules out many nasty, highly poisonous mushrooms which have gills, and this is helpful to fungal foragers. However, there are other and often rather similar-looking Boletes which are described as “inedible” and best avoided. In a couple of cases, some are rather nasty such the Devil’s Bolete or Satan’s Bolete (Boletus satanus) with purple and orange colouration and foul-smelling, garlicky flesh. This is one to be avoided. Other delightfully edible wild mushrooms include the Field Mushroom and the Horse Mushroom (basically like large versions of the typical edible cultivated “Mushroom” and close relatives of that species). These have tall, strong stems, large flattish caps with dark gills underneath, and are tasty and good to eat. One member of the Genus, the Yellow Stainer, can be poisonous to some people but not others. In terms of edibility the “Giant Puffball” is good so long as it is cooked before the spores ripen, but it is less common and may be declining in some areas. Overall, my strong advice if you are not a mushroom expert and are at all unsure of identification, then despite the temptation, it is best to avoid wild fungi. There are some easily identified edible species but don’t risk it if you aren’t certain!
FIELD MUS
HROOMS
OVER-RIPE GIANT PUFFBALLS
Professor Ian D. Rotherham, researcher, writer, broadcaster on wildlife and environmental issues is contactable on ianonthewildside@ukeconet.org. Follow his website www.ukeconet.org, blog www.ianswalkonthewildside.wordpress.com/ & Twitter Don’t forget to mention Voice Magazines when responding to the Ads @IanThewildside Bluesky @ianthewildside.bsky.social
GARDEN SERVICES
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GARDEN SERVICES
Cutting Edge
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Tree Surgeon
Garden Services
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Tel: 01773 550002 or 07825 255577 email tc.arb@hotmail.co.uk
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After our blistering summer we’re finally getting a bit more rain, NERS but the soil should still be warm enough to plant some stuff and E D R GA NDAR give roots a head-start going into winter. CALE
Bare root fruit trees such as apples and pears can be planted now - make sure the hole is deep enough and stake to protect against winter storms. Same goes for bare root roses - though you don’t need to stake them. There’s time to get some cyclamen hederifolium in with their lovely pale purple flowers which come through ahead of leaves and are good in shady spots and will spread in coming years. And there’s hellebores of course for early spring colour. Cornus can also be planted now - the red and orange leaves will be dropping but leaving the orange, yellow and red stems – more winter colour. Time to get the tulips in – though you can easily leave them to the end of the month. They like the cold for planting. Plant two to three times depth. It’s a good time to prune existing apple and pear trees. Take out dead wood, shape and remove congested branches. Fallen leaves may make a pretty outdoor carpet but don’t
them to get slimy – they can suffocate the grass. Add to TOP leave compost bins or simply make your own leaf mould in plastic TIP bags punctured with holes.
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GARDEN SERVICES
DERBYSHIRE’S LARGEST SELECTION OF WORKWEAR, SAFETY FOOTWEAR & HIKING BOOTS Available in both men’s and women’s sizes! With styles from
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Hockley Way
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