The Artichoke Vol. 9 No. 2

OCTOBER 2019 VOLUME 9 ISSUE 2

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ARTICHOKE

CONTRIBUTERS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

KATHERINE COLLIER

ASSISTANT EDITOR

LAURA BOURBONNAIS

WRITERS

AMY FOURNIER

MADDISYN FISHER

MAYA VUKOV

VANESSA SANDOVAL

VICTORIA CARELLA

BRIANNA COGGANS

DESIGN EDITOR

DESIGNERS

EMILY ONG

LUISA JAHN

PHOEBE WONG

SAMNEET MANN

SARAH CARRIERE

SHARYL MAN

ZAINAB ALAVI

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WITHIN THIS ISSUE

2 OCTOBER CALENDAR

CREATIVE

4 6 10 12 14 16 THE FACADE

OCTOBER COLLECTION

WAR AND MASKS

FALLING IN LOVE

HATE MASK: A POEM FOR HIM

THUNDER OF A BROKEN HEART

FEATURE

18 20 BEING HUMAN

FORGET FEAR!

LIFESTYLE

22 24

HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS

SPOOKY SZN

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ARTICHOKE

October CALENDAR

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EVERY YOGA 3-4PM (WINTERS COLLEGE) MONDAY

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KARAOKE NIGHT (WCC)

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READING WEEK BEGINS!

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READING WEEK ENDS

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BRUNCH WITH THE DEAN 12-2PM (WINTERS COLLEGE)

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LOAN REPAYMENT WORKSHOP 2:30-3:30PM (WINTERS COLLEGE)

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SNOOPY MOVIE NIGHT (WCC)

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HAUNTED HOUSE (WCC)

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WORD NIGHT (WCC)

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WHAT CAN I DO WITH MY AMPD DEGREE? 2-3PM(WINTERS COLLEGE)

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HALLOWEEN PUB NIGHT (WCC)

SPOOOOOORTS

MONDAYS

TUESDAYS

WEDNESDAYS

THURSDAYS

NO ASSIGNED DAYS

ULTIMATE, VOLLEYBALL, BALL HOCKEY

SOCCER, HANDBALL

BASKETBALL, FLAG FOOTBALL

BALL HOCKEY

ICE HOCKEY

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ARTICHOKE

THE FACADE BY AMY FOURNIER

CREATIVE

IF YOU TAKE a needle and poke through my soft skin, you will find a different version of me. one that is less docile, maybe more mean. strawberry blood seeps out of my body and stains your fingertips you pry deeper to find open flames and vicious rage, in a glass jar tied with a yellow ribbon “happiness is a choice,� i once heard someone say.

inside my mind my brain is trying to process daily devastation that turns into depression. serotonin smothered by a smile; an artificial antidote. like the wick of a candle my spine wavers in defeat. angry at myself. sugar coated sickness.

Happiness is a choice? sweet honeysuckle sweat flows from my pores, slowly burning out until there is nothing left but a hot pool of wax.

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ARTICHOKE

October Collection

SEASONAL SIGH

CREATIVE

BY LAURA BOURBONNAIS

DARKNESS LINGERS WELL after hours its crippling sunlight crisp against lone parched leaves spicy aromas lift spirits whilst textbooks crush crammed skulls; a rotten surcharge of sensory statistics spooky shadows sporadically chase solitaries, surge unto snarky socialites rebirthing mortals into spectral souls cyclical caffeine sustains sleepy scholars moaning post-midterms while sipping on slurred sleep 

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ARTICHOKE

MASKING BY LAURA BOURBONNAIS

THE ART OF costuming is perfectly noble yet a seasonal mask is deemed intolerable. what lies behind concerns none other than one yet intrigues countless. fears and lust alike remain private domain, refrains be saved, it’s no disgrace and no less brave. beware, a hidden smile may reveal itself with time, remnants of mystery are no crime to unsolicited prompting.

CREATIVE

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BY LAURA BOURBONNAIS

THE UNKNOWN STANDS bare, its dry crude mouth thirsty of my dodgy self, cornered to a smirk I shrug upon its narrow tongue hazardous of drooling sharks and tasteless trails. it’s all smooth sailing from here on out a throaty laugh confirms before swallowing me whole. a nauseous ride of cheap thrills down a foul tunnel of retched dreams. an out of body experience birth a discharged and fully-fledged yet slightly soiled spawn, adrift fecal matter another youngling dries itself clean of faulty blemish to match the spotless queue of grimy grownups.

FUTURE FEARS

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ARTICHOKE

WAR AND MASKS BY KATHERINE COLLIER

HAVE YOU EVER tried living two lives? There is a good chance you have; probably many more than just two. But imagine, your body split in half, right down the middle. On one side, is a void: dark, churning, and just by looking at it you can tell that it weighs more than you can fathom. On the other side, the darkness is beginning to seep in, but it is brighter. You can make out yourself in this image. You can see every part that makes you, you, but you see it warring with the other side. The parts of yourself that you connect to more appear to be losing their battle against the darkness, their front line soldiers holding on to their lives by a hair.

You feel yourself begin to suffocate as the war moves up your body to where your head and heart struggle to understand what is happening. As people talk to you, different sides react; almost always the darkness seems to grow, the part that is you losing more and more ground. And yet you fight to make everyone happy, contenting those around you with a smiling face and a nod that yes, you hear what they are saying and they are right, you should continue this farce.

Your true face hides behind a mask, creating darkness for yourself. It is safe.

But safe does not always mean good. Safe almost never means good. But safe is where no one will judge, where you can be “happy” in a relationship where you know you should be, but the brightness inside of you wars on because you know that is who you should be.

CREATIVE

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ARTICHOKE

BY MASHIAT ALTAF

FALLING IN LOVE WORDS ARE LOST when I see you You ask me why I am so quiet But I could never tell Like a dam holding back the rush of water Waiting to spring loose from my lips Words I cannot let you hear Words I want more than anything to say The crazy part about all of this is That I had never planned to hold your hand To kiss your lips To explore you the way your eyes explore All the pages of your books If I were to choose any of these books to read It would be you The Highline seemed to stretch on for miles.

All I knew was that I was walking

With you by my side And my mind was swaying Back and forth like a swing I was drunk And I wanted so badly to hold your hand “We’re just friends” Is what kept playing over and over in my head The night sky was lacking stars The tall building and streetlights made sure of that We could only see the waxing moon Bright A cold blue Watching us We walked past the couples on the benches Bushes of flowers and vines of dark trees tangled around their ankles The backdrop of skyscrapers leaning against the sky As we walked along the path

CREATIVE

Side by side But not hand in hand Talking of silly things and laughing “It’s strange” I said as we walked by all those people “They all have stories to tell that we’ll never hear” You thought about that “Well, I’m glad you’re a part of mine,” Was your reply.

I fear that sleep Will never put its weight down on me For the thought of him Is like the sweet elation of caffeine I try to hide at every corner I reach Closing my eyes for sleep But there he is He always finds me

Our first kiss was at the park Around midnight Surrounded by strange people Dancing and talking and laughing and drinking But the two of us only had each other in mind And under the bright lights of the city At the centre of all that chaos The loud honking of cars raging past us all I kissed him for the first time

He told me I like you Like the raindrops miss Summer storms To crave The touch of your skin The kiss of your lips Your hands running through my hair Fingertips exploring my body Every part of me screams For more

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ARTICHOKE

HATE MASK A POEM FOR HIM

BY MADDISYN FISHER

A POEM ABOUT the fear and hate we feel after rejection.

We wear hate like a mask to hide the pain so here goes nothing...

I hate you for making me open up I hate you for messing with my head I hate you for sleeping in my bed I hate you for not thinking about how I feel I hate you for ruining what was there

I hate you for being the first I opened up to after him I hate you for being the first I let in after him I hate you for being after him

I hate you not because I liked you I hate you not because I tried I hate you because you chose me out of convenience Every single time

CREATIVE

But I hate you because you don’t seem like you care You never really cared

So Happy Halloween I’ll put this hate on as my mask Run around the house and take shots till I can’t last My mask of hate will protect this joyous night from getting fucked Because letting you see me cry is the worst scare of all Scary to think I’m like a puppet on some strings For you Happy Halloween I’ll see you in the halls.

Love, MadFish

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ARTICHOKE

BY KATHERINE COLLIER

THUNDER CRACKS ECHOING off mountains Waking sleeping dreamers Dreamers who sleep Peacefully Trying to forget.

And slowly Minute by minute Day by day Your heart breaks And you just know.

You’re home.

Their time is almost over And as each minute passes Dread builds Because home is where the heart is.

Leaving is the hardest part As you feel yourself shatter Into a million tiny pieces But you have to stay strong For the others For yourself Because you know You know You won’t have the strength to go If you give in to yourself just once.

And slowly Minute by minute Day by day Your heart breaks And you just know.

You’re home.

So you make plans And people call you crazy You find any and every excuse To go back home Even as the voices tell you That you are home “You have everything there”

But you know you’re home Right where you are In that very moment

CREATIVE

But you smile Nod Put on a brave face And continue on

Because you know you won’t make it You’ll shatter before you even get out the door Falling to the ground, Thunder cracking as your heart is breaking.

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ARTICHOKE

BEING BY MAYA VUKOV

FEATURE

HUMAN I ROAM THE city streets among you. I whisper your language and gaze up at your skyscrapers. I work in your offices and go out to lunch with your buddies. I drive my cars on your highways and take the underground railway with you. I have become so good at my role I fit in seamlessly amongst the hustle and bustle. You think I am one of you but I am not what you think. Your kind is very easy to imitate, so much is predictable, easily observable, and easily replicated. I have bought everything I have needed at the local drugstore. It has not been very difficult for I find the local drugstore is the same on every corner. I have had little trouble finding a mate.

Several, in fact. The swiping technique has proved very useful to me, and the easily accessible profiles have helped me understand how to replicate my own. I have great fear, however. I live my life in a constant paranoia. Even though I have done so remarkably well to master your patters and programs, I fear there will be some slip up. Some misunderstanding of some subtle eye contact and my cover will be blown.

I keep my head down most days and stare at my little cellular device. If I can pretend I am just another little cell among millions of other little cells, I think I can get by.

Seeing your face the other day terrified me. You smiled at me and I went to smile back, just as I had learned from my textbooks and careful observations…but this time, it did not work. I could not do it. I felt exposed, a fraud. You knew what I was.

I looked down immediately and left the subway very quickly after that. Ever since then I have been less eager to leave the house. Is it worth the risk of exposure, I think not. — I am so horribly frustrated with you. Everything was going well until that.

Why did you have to do that. Why.

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ARTICHOKE

FORGET FEAR! WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT FROM YOUR ASSISTANT EDITOR

FEATURE

BY LAURA BOURBONNAIS

WHILE OCTOBER TENDS to be a month and season that focuses on fear, it does not mean that university students have to as well!

Studying for midterms while evolving into young adults who are trying to be active and social and involved can be a whole lot to juggle and is quite frankly very frightening at times! Especially when trying to please everyone around ourselves without pleasing ourselves.

This month, make sure to make time for yourself (whether it be enjoying a non-school novel with hot cocoa in some fuzzy socks or exploring Fall markets downtown or going apple picking or even just taking a ten-minute break from school work). And of course, remember that no one is even close to being the perfect version of themselves and that you are most definitely not alone in your struggles. Enjoy those seasonal drinks while they last and take a moment to appreciate the colourful trees around you that are constantly evolving into more beautiful versions of themselves, as we all are. While studying is important, in the end, what you will most likely remember from your university experience is the people you shared it with, so enjoy their company during this spooky season!

And who knows, you might just make a friend on your way to an exam, if only through an encouraging smile!

Laura Bourbonnais Winters College Council Winters Free Press Assistant Editor

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ARTICHOKE

HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS BY CASSIE WEIR

HALLOWEEN HAS ALWAYS played an important role in my life which sounds strange to write but it is true! From being so obsessed with my Minnie mouse costume that I wore it four years in a row to my mom’s giant blow-up dinosaur costume to watching ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’ in a blanket fort with my brother (without my mom’s permission may I add), I have had the best memories dressing up or living in this world of horror and make-believe. My family would even transform our house into a haunted manor (we won 10,000 dollars for doing so ... not to brag) with real cow bones, an old pioneer wagon, and a seven-foot-tall pumpkin man. It was also encouraged in my household to go above and beyond when decorating or dressing up for this occasion if you already could not tell. We even went above and beyond with not only handing out candies but including a small goodie

LIFESTYLE bag as well. Yes, we were that kind of family. Honestly, this holiday was more important than any other.

Halloween is all about putting up this front; decorating what is on the outside until it starts to get scary. Some people love a good spook while others may scream in fear. Sometimes this scare is out of good fun or sometimes it is to terrify.

Recently, I have started to believe that maybe we, humans, put this Halloween ‘front’ up all throughout the year.

Which mask will I wear today? Who am I dressing to impress today? It is fun to live in this world of make-believe and to dress up in costumes. But, once the full moon rises, who are you today? Who are you?

I do not know the answer. You do. Take some time this month to search for the answer or find peace with the answer.

Do not be afraid to hang up the mask and embrace who you really are; human.

You are not a monster or ghoul or even Minnie mouse. You are you! The best costume.

I understand that it is fun to pretend; especially if you are new to York University or Winters College, you

want the world to see the make-believe costume of yourself so there will be no judgment or scares. You know what though? The people within the York University community, especially Winters College, will embrace whatever the costume you may be wearing. They will encourage and support you to take off the mask and leave behind the world of make-believe. The amount of confidence you will gain from being surrounded by like-minded and positive individuals will change you. Change you in ways you may not even realize.

These changes will be good. No spooks allowed. I promise.

Be sure to wear yourself proudly each and every day; no matter how scary it may be. But, obviously, dress up for Halloween. Who knows! Maybe I’ll be Minnie mouse again this year.

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SPOOKY SZN! BY VICTORIA CARELLA OCTOBER CAN BE a scary month, and not just because of Halloween. This is the time of the year when we are getting ready for midterms! I, personally, get VERY nervous about exams, but over the past three years I have been able to find a few helpful tricks to reduce stress. The first one seems obvious but is essential: Review your notes. Sometimes it seems that midterms sneak up on me so quickly and I feel like I have not learned enough to even be tested on anything! But I go to every class and take detailed notes so that I can review everything that has been covered so far. I also find that studying with another person or a group of people is helpful. If you are actually focusing on studying, that is. Find some people who you know will be focused on working and go to a place with minimal distractions. Sometimes sharing notes and ideas will help you remember something you might have missed on your own! I find that taking turns quizzing one another is a fun way to put your knowledge to the test.

Aside from studying please remember to take a break. I am sure you hear this tip a lot, “Take a break from studying. Take care of yourself�. That is because it is essential to your success. Do not get caught up in the Suffering Olympics when people try to brag about how little sleep they get, or how they forget to eat as if it is some sort of accomplishment to deprive yourself of basic necessities. Listen to your body. If you are tired, rest. If you are hungry, eat.

If you are lonely or feel yourself starting to feel discouraged, call or meet up with a friend. Try not to stay in the house or library all day either. Autumn is a beautiful season, so put on a comfy sweater, grab a cup of apple cider, and go for a walk outside. Being in nature is so refreshing, especially when the colourful leaves are falling.When you are observing the falling leaves, remember that life keeps going. Despite how high the stakes may feel at the moment, midterms are not the end of the world. You will finish them. You will get a grade. Even if you are not satisfied with the grade, it does not mean that you are a failure or a bad student. Take this as an opportunity to see how you are progressing thus far into the term, especially if it is your first year.

Although one midterm does not determine your entire degree progress, I would recommend meeting with your course instructor to see where you can improve for next time. Learning is a process and you are not supposed to know everything. Take a deep breath and trust yourself.

LIFESTYLE

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