What Makes You, You? by Hollie Payne

What Makes You, You?

Hollie Payne

What Makes You, You?

A question I asked Ellie, in which this book tells you her response to the things in her life which she thinks makes her who she is today.

My Home

For me, my home wouldn’t be my home without my loved ones being there. My home is the place I grew up and is where I became the person I am today. My home holds so many memories between these four walls, like getting our dogs, family get togethers, playing in the backgarden on the swings and trampoline and many more memories too.

The street my home is on, is another place that feels like home. Everyone is close and as a child playing out on the street with all my friends is something I will always remember. One of the best things is having my Grandma and Grandad live on the same street round the corner and being able to just pop round to spend some time with them is one of the best things in the world. ​ Still living here now as a young adult, I can still see all the things and memories I used to do when I was younger, and it is so nice to have all my happy memories with my family and friends that I love and cherish all around me.

Birthdays

I remember birthdays from when I was younger and nothing has changed since then. Every birthday morning when I wake up and go downstairs, the house is decorated with banners and balloons and cards and presents are laid out in the middle of the living room on the rug. This is where I would open my cards and presents with everyone sat around me. It would be the same for everyone and every birthday we celebrated.

Even now we are all more grown up the same thing still happens and it is just something so speical to me that I appreicate more than I think.

Every birthday I would have a party with family and friends, who would come round and celebrate my birthday with me too.

My memories of birthdays are something that I cherish and love to celebrate each year and the way I celebrate with my family is what I want to continue throughout my whole life with my own family too.

Tearing Us Apart

My Mum and Dad’s separation has to be one of the worst times in my life...

I never thought that this would of happened to us and our family because we was all so close. When the time happened, I never thought I would get over it, that I would never forgive what happened because it had broken my heart and left my family broken too. The pain that was caused is unforgivable and when I look back now it still hurts, especically when I think back of how hurt I was.

Now it is a few years on, it has made me who I am today. I am a stronger person, especially mentally and it made me realise that even though the worst things can happen to you especially when you don’t expect it, that life does go and get better and sometimes it can be even better than it was before, even though you didn’t think that could be possible.

Cleveleys

This place for me is a home away from home...

Cleveleys has been part of our family since my Grandad was a young boy and its a tradition we have never given up. When we go here, we go as a family in two or three different cars so we can all make it down. When we arrive there, we park up near the bus station and walk through a side road and on to the high street. For a little while we are browsing the high street, looking in the shops and the markets before heading back down to our favourite cafe called ‘Cleveleys Kitchen’. Everytime we go here our orders are always the same, fish and chips with a big cream cake to finish!

Cleveleys is a happy place for me and my family where we talk about memories from over the years, my Grandad and Grandma’s, Mum and Auntie’s memories from the generations of time they created their memories here, but also the memories we have all created together too. A sit and stroll on the beach is something we never miss doing when we come here, it is a time where we all have a laugh and have fun together. The ends of our days at Cleveleys, end with a stop off into Blackpool on our way home for a stroll along the piers and a few games in the arcades!

Missing You Grandma

I can’t put into words how much losing my Grandma hurt me. Her passing has left a huge whole in the lives of everyone in my family.

My Grandma was the rock of our family, everyone went to her and my Grandad for anything we needed. My Grandma wasn’t just my Grandma she was like a second Mum to me and I know she was the same for my brother, sister and my cousins too. My Grandma had a huge presence on the lives of everyone she knew, with her contagious laugh and how she loved everyone around her so deeply. She absolutely loved shopping, her favourite shops were M&S, TKMAXX and Superdrug and Boots for her toiletries. My favourite things to do with my Grandma were cook recipes and bake cakes and cookies, I just loved sitting down and watching telly with her and my Grandad and going round every Friday to watch the soaps and have a Cbinese takeaway.

On 11th October 2017, I was at my Dad’s house when my Mum rang telling me, my sister and brother to come home straight away because Grandma has been rushed to hospital. We stayed with my Grandad, then we got the worst phone call in the world, which I prayed wasn’t going to be true. My heart shattered in to a thousand pieces and I wish everyday that she was still here because life isn’t the same without my Grandma. I miss her so much.

My First Love

Before I met Frazer I had never really had a relationship before, espeically a serious relationship and I didn’t really know what to expect. I quickly realised that meeting him and being in a relationship with him has changed my life because he makes me see things differently. He has helped me with things i’ve struggled to deal with and I have helped him too. He has made me more of a confident person within myself and on the outside too. I feel like we help eachother and we lift eachother up and we push one another to be better.

He has fitted in with my family so well and they all love him too, which makes me happy because for my family to be happy and like the person I am with, for me is something I have always wished for.

He makes me happy, laugh and smile everyday and it makes me feel so greatful to have someone so amazing in my life.

So...

What Makes You, You?