A Quibbler: NCTC Edition

Sixteen and Pregnant with You-Know-Who’s Baby?

It may sound outrageous, but our reporters here at the Quibbler have uncovered something truly shocking for our readers this month. A student, who is choosing to remain anonymous, has uncovered to us that a student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has fallen pregnant with You-Know-Who’s child. Our reporters have gone to Hogwarts to follow up on this story and several other students have supported the claims. We could tell this would be a huge scoop, so we decided to interview the subject of these rumors for more details.

Q: Is it true that you’re pregnant with You-KnowWho’s child?

A: No, that’s ridiculous.

Q: Why do you think other students are spreading these rumors about you?

A: I honestly have no idea. I’ve only heard these rumors today.

Even though this student has denied all allegations against them, the Quibbler is still investigating. There would be plenty of reason not to reveal this secret, especially considering the student in question is a muggleborn. This scandal would bring harassment from both supporters and denouncers of YouKnow-Who alike. We invite our readers to imagine the strain on a young parent when raising YouKnow-Who’s child and what that child might bring to the wizarding world.

Q: Do you have anything else you’d like to add, or to say to the readers of the Quibbler?

A: Uh… I’m not pregnant.

Q: That’s what they all say.

The Quibbler is continuing to look for leads in this investigation and if anyone has any information, they should contact us by owl using the information on the back cover of every issue.

Concerning Love Potions My fellow, wizards and witches, it is time to address a serious concern that should reach every corner of the Wizarding World. That concern of which I so eerily speak is the matter of love potions, the liquid desire that so many fancy slipping

a beautiful witch or handsome wizard to allow those of whom we dream to have dreams of us as well. These concoctions sound tempting and delightful but how would you feel if you were on the receiving end? Would you want to be someone you are not and have an interest in someone whom you would otherwise dismiss?

Yes, love potions are legal, but the question remains as to whether or not they are ethical. Is it morally just to compel a person to love someone for whom they have little or no affection? It is my belief that love potions ought to be outlawed around the world. In conducting my thorough research to address this concerning issue, I have come across many young wizards and many more young witches who have shared with me their experiences in receiving love potions. My sources tell me that they were caught by surprise and that they did not want to be forced into this so-called “love.” After the potion has worn off, a wizard or witch is left feeling weak and vulnerable. They have been taken advantage of by someone who was able to hold power over them. Can we trust our food and drinks? Can we trust our fellow beings?

You may be wondering why a story with such a breath of seriousness was not run in the Daily Prophet for the whole of the world to read. Why would such an important inquiry not be run in such an esteemed paper? Well my friends, I received a letter from the Ministry of Magic telling me not to run the story. I was informed that if I came out against this “harmless charm” my writings would never again be published in the Prophet. So now we must ask ourselves

what the Ministry is hiding. Has the Minister of Magic himself slipped an unsuspecting person a love potion? Is he on the payroll of one of those loathsome, money-hungry companies that creates them? There are so many questions to ask about the position of the Ministry on this issue and so many conspiracies spinning around my head. We are almost inclined to inquire about what the real truth may be.

It is my position, after my initial inquiry and months of research, that love potions are amoral and unethical. Love is a form of true magic that captivates hearts even in the muggle world. To force someone into accepting a love that does not fancy him or her is to take away their access to that truest form of magic. Love is one of the most important parts of any being’s life and forcing it upon an unsuspecting victim without their consent is cruel.

We’ve all heard the stories of employers slipping attractive young employees love potions. We’ve all heard the stories of victims who, in their bravery, have come forward to share the terror and the horror that they experienced at the hands of these potions. It is my belief that many more witches and wizards are affected by these potions than we have seen come forward. When people do come forward they are often accused of asking for it. We’ve heard the horrid questions that are posed to them. “Did you ever make any implications that you might have been interested? Were you flirting? What were you wearing that made someone unable to resist giving you this potion?” There is also the widely held belief that some who accuse powerful people of giving them potions are making it all up. Some of the victims whom I

have interviewed, who will and must remain anonymous, have told me in confidence that they were accused of trying to extort the accused for large sums of Gallions. It is unfair to say that any victim is somehow asking for these potions or simply trying to gain something from a specific accusation because the lives and credibility of so many accusers have been completely and utterly destroyed.

So, what is the Ministry trying to hide? Why are these potions legal and so readily available? Why do those accused of using these potions face little to no consequences? The truth is that there are far more questions than answers and until our government is willing to address an issue that they are so eager to avoid, these potions will continue to be utilized to victimize innocent and unsuspecting witches and wizards.

Maybe I will never write for the Daily Prophet again, but the truth is more important than one wizard’s career. We should choose to seek it and believe it no matter how unpleasant the truth we find may prove to be.

NEWT SCAMANDER - FATHER OF MORE THAN JUST HIS FANTASTIC BEASTS? Executive Editorial Staff Writer Katherine Dunlop 1998 December 6 It’s no secret that Newt Scamander is the world’s leading expert on all things beast-related, I mean after all he provided us with Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, a comprehensive guide held in such high regard that it is used by all of the students at Hogwarts. He is without a doubt, the most knowledgeable and skilled wizard when it comes to magical creatures.

However, startling new information has been revealed, stating that Newt Scamander may be father to more than just his fantastic beasts (and of course his other son, but we’re not concerned with him at the moment). Inside sources have disclosed that Newt Scamander is father to Hogwarts own keeper of keys and grounds, and professor for the care of magical creatures, Rubeus Hagrid.

This revelation comes as a shock to those of us in the wizarding community, but in hindsight as we take our time to look back on the actions of these two individuals, we now see the glaringly obvious similarities.

Their natural knack for dealing with all of the creatures that common witches and wizards find to be so terrifying, is unmatched by any others

in the wizarding community. Further proof of their similarities, they have both worked extensively with dragons, and seem to be lacking in an ability to follow the rules. Mr. Scamander worked in the First World War on the eastern front with the Ukrainian Ironbellies, and Mr. Hagrid has dealt with the varying dragons throughout his years as gamekeeper at Hogwarts.

Most exciting though is the hidden fact (covered up by none other than the late Albus Dumbledore) that Rubeus Hagrid once tried to raise a dragon in his hut on the Hogwarts grounds (a Norwegian Ridgeback, appropriately named Norbert).

Regrettably for Hagrid, Norbert was sent off to Romania once he was discovered; but this never stopped him from neglecting school rules for the sake of his creatures, much as his father did in his day.

Both individuals were sadly expelled from Hogwarts, due to the commonality that they had endangered fellow students’ lives by bringing in magical creatures. Ironically though, it was the creature that Mr. Scamander gave his son that ended up causing his expulsion (an Acromantula named Aragog, whom we believe to have sincepassed away). These parties have yet to comment on this newly found information.

The Three

Broomsticks Winter Menu

Drinks World Famous Butterbeer Our World Famous, butterscotch infused, slightly alcoholic beer. Fill your stomach with this amazing drink?

Firewhiskey It hurts.

Gillywater A light, mint based vodka mix.

The Drink-That-Must-Not-Be-Named A mix of tequila, Blackberry Puree, and lime juice, inspired by yours truly.

Oak-Matured Mead All in the name. We’ve kept this mead aged for over 15 years.

The Whomping Willow A mix of whiskey, ginger beer, and pine syrup.

Spiked Eggnog A little bit of rum, a little bit of brandy, a little bit of bourbon, and a whole lot of eggnog.

Appetizers Toad’s Legs A Three Broomsticks classic. Fried Toad’s Legs served with our signature avocado ranch.

Fish and Chips A new twist on a famous dish. Chips, and fish with a jalapeno batter. Served with tartar.

Entrees Stoat Sandwich Weasel meat served over a garlic aoli, lettuce, onion and tomato may not sound good, but we like it.

Classic Corned Beef Sandwich A giant helping of corned beef served over a bed of mustard.

Steak and Kidney Pies A pie of kidney, steak, mushroom, and onion. It’ll bring you this close to a heart attack.

Lamb Chops Garlic sizzled lamb chops, served with a side of mashed potatoes.

French Onion Soup World famous French onion soup, served in a breadbowl.

Deserts Pumpkin Spice Pastries Who hasn’t had Pumpkin Spice Pastries? It’s like a pumpkin pie calzone.

Treacle Tarts A pie of golden syrup, breadcrumbs, and lemons.

Butterbeer Cake Small cakes made with a butterbeer batter.

The Dragon that Burst from the sky in Gringots, still missing Article written by Wyatt Hudson

Yesterday morning, many wizards and witches in Diagon Alley felt the ground begin to shake with rage, with even closer shocks near Gringotts bank. Suddenly, dozens began to witness something many of them will be scared with for the rest of their lives. A Ukranian Ironbelly burst from the roof of Gringotts bank soaring into the sky with three young wizards on its back. According to a statement given by the goblins of the bank,

“Ukranian Ironbelly was used to guard several high security vaults, and was purchased legally by all wizard laws. The dragon was part of an elaborate escape by three unknown young wizards. Although nothing valuable was stolen from the bank, a bank teller was killed by the dragon during the escape. We are doing whatever we can to assist in finding the dragon and keeping the public safe.”

Police have not had any leads on where the dragon might be, and ask the public to be careful and to keep their eyes on the sky. Ukranian Ironbellys are a bipedal breed of dragon, metallic grey in color with an immense wingspans with very strong scales. They are one of the largest dragon breeds which weigh up to ten tons with deep red eyes. The Ironbelly can produce jets of flame up to 3,560 degrees Fahrenheit.

Many rumors about a dragon being held in Gringotts bank were popular amongst citizens, but none had ever seen the beast before. The ministry of magic claims it did know of the dragon in Gringotts and agrees the bank owned the dragon legally and will not be conducting an investigation. The family of the goblin that was killed by the dragon will be pressing criminal charges against the bank, however, believing the bank didn’t keep strong safeguards against the dragon for the teller’s safety.

DEMENTORS: MISUNDERSTOOD CREATURES Hannah Hunter-Reay

The torturous guards of Azkaban, Dementors, are soul sucking, emotion draining, and are seen as a negative creature to the Wizarding World. However, it seems that they are actually a lot softer than they are put out to be by their need for human emotion and to feed off of happy people. Even though they are not able to see, they are capable of feeling positive auras and human happiness.

The magical world have viewed these creatures as incapable of actual human emotion because they drain the souls of the happy. On the other hand, Dementors

are ‘people’ too because of their need to inherit to what happiness feels like.

Now you may be asking, why are they so dark in the first place? First of all, they were raised to be protectors of Azkaban, and torture the prisoners but as time goes on their motives seemed to evolve in something else. When they were sent to Hogwarts many years ago, they began to feed on the boy who lived, Harry Potter. Potter was attacked but was saved by Remus Lupin by performing the Expecto Patronum spell before Potter became lifeless. Secondly, they are misunderstood by wizards and witches being scared of what they may do when they give a “Dementors Kiss.” These creatures have a reasoned to be feared by but as a society there should be an understanding why they commit these actions.

Now, as Dementors, their duty on the train was to look for Sirius Black but became enticed by the emotions Potter had. What can we make of this? It is simple, these creatures have emotions just like us wizard people, yet we are taught otherwise. They seem like harmful creatures but hey are just trying to receive what everyone else wants; love.

10 Steps to Wand Maintenance Your Best

By: Rosemary Goghlightly

From the moment you waltzed out of Olivander’s you knew your wand was special.

Your wand reminded you that you could finally take part in what you had dreamed of since you were small; harnessing your magical abilities and casting spells! I remember lying in bed gazing at my wand, softly glowing in the moonlight pouring in from my window. I couldn’t wait to use it. That day was eight years ago, and since then my wand has been through the thick of it. From the summer my house had a very determined group of rodents, nail lacquer spills, chips from pensive thumping on the desks, to being dropped a thousand times, my wand has seen it all. However, as my wand is to be a companion for life, I must make sure it is in perfect working order. So without further ado, I present to you, Ten Steps to Your Best Wand Maintenance.

1. Weather-proof your wand. Use oils like Tung or Linseed to give your wand a sleek and shiny, weather resistant finish.

2. Buff your wand. Buffing your wand allows for all the knicks and chips to be smoothed away. I recommend buffing your wand once or twice per year. You may D.I.Y it at home or take it to one of the many wand buffers in wizard

London. When buffing my wand myself, I coat my wand lightly with beeswax before buffing. This nourishes the wood.

3. Use your wand often. I know this sounds preposterous, but well used wands are more responsive to commands. When not used often a wand can, have a slower response time, backfire, or even shake.

4. Put your wand in the same place every night; no one wants a lost wand.

Remember, the core of your wand was once part of a living magical creature and its power gives your wand magic. Just as any creature needs a nightly routine, so does your wand. Make sure your wand is kept in a warm, dry place while you sleep at night. The original wand box is optimal, but if unavailable some common resting place ideas are: the armoire with your jumpers, in your nightstand on a soft cloth, or nestled in your purse.

5. Charge your wand. Over used wands can become tired, and can act much like an under used wand (I know, they’re so fickle). Muggles have a “phone” which seems to be just as important to them as our wands are to us. Every night, when the magic in their phone is low, they rest it in the same place. In the morning, their phones are refreshed. Moonlight or Sunlight is the best way to energize your wand and restore its magical ability. I like to think that just as I need fresh air, so does my wand. You and your wand share a special bond, and what energizes you, energizes it. If you are a morning person, sit your wand in the window sill on a bright, sunny, day while you get dressed. If you are a night owl, set your wand in the windowsill on a full moon to give your wand the optimal amount of energy.

6. NEVER use Reparo on your wand. The Reparo spell was created with objects in mind. Though you may perceive your wand as an object, it is really an

extension of yourself. If you cannot use reparo on yourself, avoid using it on your wand. If your wand is ever won in a duel, or broken, please buy a new wand.

7. Keep your wand away from nonmagical pets such as owls, tortoises, rabbits, cats, and dogs. Nonmagical animals have no concept of magic as our creatures do, and when left alone with our wands, will scratch or chew on them. You may also train your nonmagical pet to avoid your wand by spritzing them with water when they attempt to engage with it.

8. Never keep your wand in your back pocket. This is obvious. Don’t sit on your wand. Consider yourself lucky if you have never heard a CRACK upon sitting down and felt an almighty fire attack your bum. Ten thousand times worse than a Taser. I had a rainbow bruise on my bum for a week.

9. Do put your wand in your purse or down your front pants pocket. This always allows your wand to be close to you. The inside pockets of jackets are an optimal location in cold weather.

10. Remember how fortunate you are to have this unique life experience! Make memories while you can, and always bring a little bit of magic into someone’s life.

Happy casting!

Rosemary Goghlightly

Ted Tonks and Dirk Cresswell’s Deaths: Unmentioned in the Daily Prophet It is quite unfortunate to reach one’s “end of the line” moment. Apparently, though, there is something more unfortunate and that is passing away without being remembered. This must be how obituaries were made in the first place, pay respect to departed loved ones and as a manifestation that they still live in the memories of those who cherished them.

In this time of war in the Wizarding world, given the rise of the Dark Lord and his minions, it seems that little care is given to those they deem enemies of the Ministry of Magic. These enemies are mostly Muggle-born individuals, blood traitors, or those who side with Harry Potter and hope that he will make a stand as being the Chosen One. Unfortunately, many individuals have become victims of the current Ministry’s ruthlessness; among them are Ted Tonks and Dirk Cresswell, both of whom are Muggle-born.

These two wizards were murdered by Snatchers, an organization of bounty hunters established by Voldemort in his ascension into power.

Ted Tonks, the husband of Andromeda Black and father of Nymphadora Tonks, was murdered alongside Dirk Creswell and a goblin named Gornuk in March 1998.

Creswell held the position of Head of the Goblin Liaison Office back in the mid-1990s and was a gifted student.

These men left behind their respective wives and children, forlorn about their deaths without being by their side.

The Wizarding World is experiencing very dark times with the practice of the Dark Arts unhindered and even encouraged by the Ministry. It is unfair though, that the deaths of the two men, being part of the Wizarding community, were not mentioned in the Daily Prophet. It seems quite evident, that these deaths and Ministryencouraged captures are being hushed into the darkness.

Thankfully, friends on Potterwatch have been kind enough to mention their passing for their family and friends to grieve their deaths. Hopefully, such unnecessary killings will stop soon and that justice and goodness shine through.

Taking Care of a

Hippogriff When taking care of a Hippogriff there are multiple of things you need to know. Such as what they are, what to feed it, and how to train it.

Hippogriffs are part eagle and part horse; the first half of the animal is an eagle with orange eyes and the back half of the animal is horse.

When owning one we need to understand what they eat. The Hippogriff’s diet consists of birds, insects (when there isn’t any other food around they will dig with their claws to find worms in the ground), and small mammals some prefer ferrets like Buckbeak does.

Now we move onto how to train one first you need to earn their respect for they are very proud animals. Now you need

to bow to them and wait for the creature to bow back once it does then you can move on to being able to touch the animal. When being around one you need to always keep eye contact without blinking a lot. They are very loyal to the people they respect and trust.

One last thing to know about Hippogriffs is that once owing one you can never ride for transportation it is against the law. You will also need to use a spell called “Disillusionment Charm� to hide them from mortal eyes. Always make sure you are feeding your Hippogriff correctly, showing him the respect to gain the trust, and knowing what your creature is along with the laws that go with taking care of it.

Harry Potter Censorship J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter series, which have achieved overall prominence affect kids has not been coordinated by some other book. The books have urged youngsters to peruse for diversion as opposed to swinging to TV or computer games. At the point when a bit of writing motivates kids as the Harry Potter books do, constraining a kid's entrance to the books appears to be crazy. Tragically, this is what is going on with Harry Potter. The books are tested and restricted in schools and libraries everywhere throughout the world since guardians fight that the substance is unsatisfactory. The substance, which rotates around a world brimming with wizardry and black magic, has a few guardians effectively campaigning against the books. These guardians trust the books urge kids to rehearse black magic.

Furthermore, a few guardians don't trust that the books are a resource for the learning advancement of their kids. For most youngsters, Rowling's Harry Potter books empower perusing.

In addition to the fact that children read the monstrous books in the arrangement, they utilize the Harry Potter arrangement as courses to different kinds of writing in light of the fact that their brains are opened to the ponder of the composed word.

The books don't advocate black magic or underhandedness, which are regularly the justification for blue penciling the books from kids.

Distinctive highlights of the Harry Potter arrangement can impact youngsters with both great and awful outcomes. The most mainstream explanations behind blue penciling Harry

Potter is that the books are based on a supernatural network.

The plot spins around Harry and his companions as they figure out how-to wind-up wizards and witches at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Through Harry's experiences, there are references to this present reality that may help kids in their learning procedure, yet there are the individuals who would prefer not to open their kids to the vast measure of black magic depicted in the books. The topic of blue penciling the Harry Potter books is an incredible discussion among guardians, kids, educators, and curators. Guardians dependably have an official conclusion of regardless of whether their own kids will peruse the books, however when guardians endeavor to blue pencil the books from all kids, as in making a move to get it restricted from a library or school, they venture over the line and encroach upon the privileges of other youngsters and their folks. A mother and father realize their very own tyke best; they ought to have the capacity to anticipate how their youngster will respond to the substance of the story. They have to ensure that their kids are at an age where they can deal with all that is contained in the story. This is the means by which it ought to be with all writing. On the off chance that guardians would prefer not to have their own kids perused the book, at that point blue penciling the book is the thing that they should endeavor to do. Be that as it may, they don't have the privilege to blue pencil it for any other individual's youngsters. Notwithstanding the guardians' choice, kids ought to likewise have the capacity to have something to do with what they read. In the event that they wish to peruse the books against the desire of their folks, at that point that is an issue they have to work out with their folks. Guardians can just guide a kid up until now, and in the

end sooner or later they should figure out how to confide in their youngsters' choices.

Harry realizes who great individuals with great qualities are, who awful individuals with terrible qualities are, and how to differentiate. Through his collaboration with great and terrible, the peruses will associate with Harry and his quandaries. They perceive that Harry's reality is much similar to their very own with great and horrendous ethics spoke to in individuals. While the books do have insidious characters, not the slightest bit are kids urged to have sensitivity for those characters. The scalawag is constantly viewed as malevolent, and his portrayal is with the end goal that he can't be cherished by peruses. Voldemort is somebody peruses would prefer not to copy since he is hopeless, a liar, and a killer. He is plainly the antagonist of the story, and isn't the individual to which youngsters tune in. They don't put any an incentive into what he says or does. Voldemort is exclusively a portrayal of wickedness, not a glorification of insidiousness. Generally, the story is loaded up with puzzle and is there for kids and grown-ups alike to appreciate. Since the Harry Potter books are dream, the enchantment held inside its spreads is intended to engage the peruse, not to advocate the act of black magic. J. K. Rowling does not advocate black magic on the grounds that the books themselves are fiction. She is determined in her conviction that enchantment isn't genuine.

She makes it unmistakable in her books that it isn't Harry's enchanted capacity that can make him incredible yet the decisions he makes that will decide how his life will be driven.

In view of Harry's brain and how he handles the issues throughout his life, individuals are attracted to the books. The

books can't be rebuked for the spread of black magic. The dream component is a pleasant path for the pursuer to see reality. The books have empowered kids far and wide to peruse. Blue penciling these books from kids is a strange gameplan that would just prevent youngsters from claiming the genuine enchantment of Harry Potter. Any book that empowers kids far and wide to leave on a perusing feast, as the Harry Potter books have done, ought to be commended for its capacity to drum up a buzz in youngsters, which opens them up to a world overflowing with extraordinary writing.