Please Stop Touching Me ... and Other Haikus by Cats

Cat Haikus_FINAL.indd 1

23/05/2019 16:20

Cat Haikus_FINAL.indd 2

23/05/2019 16:20

Jamie Coleman

Cat Haikus_FINAL.indd 3

23/05/2019 16:20

TRANSWORLD PUBLISHERS 61–63 Uxbridge Road, London W5 5SA www.penguin.co.uk Transworld is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com

First published in Great Britain in 2019 by Bantam Press an imprint of Transworld Publishers Copyright © River Fin Limited 2019 Jamie Coleman has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

Every effort has been made to obtain the necessary permissions with reference to copyright material, both illustrative and quoted. We apologize for any omissions in this respect and will be pleased to make the appropriate acknowledgements in any future edition.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781787632677 Designed and typeset in Sabon LT Std by Bobby Birchall, Bobby&Co. Printed and bound in China.

All images © Shutterstock, apart from page 30, which is © Getty Images and page 128, which is supplied courtesy of the author Penguin Random House is committed to a sustainable future for our business, our readers and our planet. This book is made from Forest Stewardship Council® certified paper.

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

Cat Haikus_FINAL.indd 4

23/05/2019 16:20

haiku /ˈhʌɪkuː/ n. (pl. same or haikus) a Japanese poem of seventeen syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five. cat / n. a poet (but better than a dog)

Cat Haikus_FINAL.indd 5

23/05/2019 16:20

Cat Haikus_FINAL.indd 6

23/05/2019 16:20

Cats vs. Dogs It’s telling really You train them to sniff out bombs You tell us your life

Cat Haikus_FINAL.indd 7

23/05/2019 16:20

Bath Time One day I’ll escape Free my brothers and sisters And give you a ‘bath’

Cat Haikus_FINAL.indd 8

23/05/2019 16:20

Cat Haikus_FINAL.indd 9

23/05/2019 16:20

A Nation of . . .

Animal lovers?

You certainly seem to love Removing the balls

Cat Haikus_FINAL.indd 10

23/05/2019 16:20

Cat Haikus_FINAL.indd 11

23/05/2019 16:20

Cat Haikus_FINAL.indd 12

23/05/2019 16:20

Purring If you don’t do it How does anybody know When you are content?

Cat Haikus_FINAL.indd 13

23/05/2019 16:20