NZH Plus Feature February 2016

A New Zealand Herald Commercial Publication

Thursday, February 18, 2016

COOKS AND THEIR BOOKS TOP CHEFS SHARE THEIR FAVES

CHOOSING YOUR CRUISE

WAIHEKE

PARADISE WITH A PRICE

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nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Thursday, February 18, 2016

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INSIDE +PLUS 4-5

6-7

Cooks and their books

Choose your cruise

Three of Auckland’s top chefs reveal the inspiration in their kitchen cupboards Cover: Yael Shochat, owner of Ima, in her home kitchen. Photo Ted Baghurst

and there’s more 8 Gardening

Sarah O’Neil waves goodbye to summer and welcomes autumn

11 Your questions

Financial and lifestyle advice for mature readers

12-13 Screen time

Paul Casserly wonders if it’s time to cut the cord with Sky

14 Paradise at a price

Why Waiheke locals aren’t thrilled at their island becoming a world-rated destination

Looking after the financial needs of New Zealanders since 1997

So many ships, so many styles: our expert is onboard to advise

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Editor Greg Fleming gregory.fleming@nzme.co.nz Advertising inquiries Ben Trethewey ben.trethewey@nzme.co.nz Contributing writers Tiana Templeman, Greg Fleming, Paul Casserly, Donna McIntyre, Sarah O’Neil +Plus is an NZME Custom Publication. The next issue will be published on May 24.

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nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Thursday, February 18, 2016

Yael Shochat’s favourite cookbooks are all written by women.

PHOTOS TED BAGHURST

Cooks and their Greg Fleming meets three Auckland chefs who share the books that have inspired

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chef’s passion for food is wonderful to behold.

When I met Yael Shochat, owner of Ima (wonderful and affordable Middle Eastern food in Fort St — try the shakshuka), she couldn’t stop talking about the food of her beloved Tel Aviv — a city she says is serving some of the best food in the world (chef Eyal Shani is one of her food heroes). So good she even finds herself looking up menus online and reliving meals vicariously.

Renee Coulter cited the Australian Women's Weekly Children's Birthday Cake Cook Book as one of her early inspirations. She was eight.

“I’d flick through its pages allocating the different cakes to various neighbourhood kids and cousins. If a mum or aunt pulled off a great rendition of a ‘choo choo train’ or the ‘jelly swimming pool’, they were stars.”

She credits that book and pretending to be Alison Holst with her younger assistant as the beginning of what would become K Rd’s answer to a Cuban cantina — Coco’s Cantina.

Simon Wright — whose legendary Symonds St restaurant The French Cafe was recently voted the fourth best fine-dining restaurant in the world by TripAdvisor — still can’t quite believe how good that meal at Thomas Keller’s The French Laundry was.

Both Yael and Renee (along with her sister, and Coco’s co-owner, Damaris) are working on their own cookbooks which will be released later this year. Simon has two to his name — and his most recent Saison – A Year At The French Cafe´ , with its

linen cover and cut-out lattice pages, is an art object in itself.

Simon Wright The French Cafe The French Laundry Cookbook

by Thomas Keller (1999) ”I’ve had this book for ages and I love it. I think we share a passion for cooking and the same philosophy of food. He respects both the food and those making it — he stresses for example the importance of the staff meal.

Last year I finally had the chance to eat a meal at The French Laundry.

My wife and I hired a car from San Francisco and drove three hours through rush-hour traffic to Napa Valley. The only booking we could get was at 7pm.

It was an incredible meal. One of the dishes from the cookbook was on the menu — Oysters and Pearls — which is oysters and tapioca cooked in cream with caviar on the top.

Unforgettable.”

White Heat

by Marco Pierre White (25th anniversary edition, 2015) “I trained with Marco many years ago in England and was there when this book was being shot. He’s an icon and the first celebrity chef, very charismatic, very temperamental. He worked hard and played hard.

It was an intense training that really opened my eyes up to what was possible. English kitchens — at least back then — were the hardest kitchens in the world. Long hours, very violent, very hierarchical — one

hotel restaurant where I worked I could only walk in certain areas of the kitchen. You started at the bottom and learnt your craft.

I don’t run my kitchen like that, but that respect for craft and that sort of perfectionism I admire. Me — I work hard, I’m hands-on still in the kitchen most nights. I like to work hard. I don’t do the play hard bit so much anymore — I like to come home and have a beer.”

The Nomad Cookbook

by Daniel Humm, Will Guidara and Leo Robitschek (2015) “This is the newest book I have in my collection. And new books are always my favourite. I just haven’t had time to delve into it yet.”

Renee Coulter Coco’s Cantina Jerusalem

by Yotam Ottolenghi, Sami Tamimi (2012) “Like lots of Kiwis I headed to London after school. I was 18 and super-green.

For my first year I was based around Golders Green, an area of North London which has a large Jewish community. Our bedsit didn’t have a kitchen and we were three when we should have been two, so with the landlord living below it was safer to stay out as much as possible.

We ate out a lot. The cafe scene was non-existent but the Jewish delis and sandwich bars were amazing.

That first year cemented a love and passion for Middle Eastern food I still carry today.

“I work hard, I’m hands-on still in the kitchen most nights.

I like to work hard.

I don’t do the play hard bit so much anymore.

I like to come home and have a beer” — Simon Wright Jerusalem is a favourite. It’s a story about a place, its people and its history all told through food and beautiful recipes. I have yet to go to Jerusalem, I have always wanted to and one day I will.

But until then I’ll keep reading all books by Yotam Ottolenghi, eating at Ima’s and working at perfecting my baba ganoush.”

Larousse Gastronomique, The World's Greatest Culinary Encyclopedia (originally published 1938, last updated 2009) “I only remember a couple of things about my 30th. I had a fabulous lunch at Rocco Restaurant, where I was working at the time, and I got given a copy of Larousse Gastronomique.

It’s a cookbook, a history lesson, reference book and chef’s bible all in one.

At 1350 pages it’s a bit of an awkward read in bed, but in bed I have read it. From Abaisse — a French cookery term for a sheet of rolled out pastry — to Zuppa Inglese — a dessert

invented by Neapolitan pastry cooks and ice-cream makers, it has it all.

Wikipedia can’t beat it. I love this book.”

Rick Stein’s India (2013) “Our mum loves Rick Stein. Other than his cooking shows, she saw him once on some grumpy old man thing and thinks he’s hilarious.

I have always liked his food and commitment to simplicity, but never really warmed to him, but I’m now a fan.

I loved his series on India. I saw one episode after finishing early one night and went and got the book the next day and changed my night off so I could watch the rest of the series.

I cooked dishes from this book for the next six Sundays!

I love this book because it has opened the door and given me a starting point to a cuisine I’m not confident with.

The photography of both the food and the people is fantastic. And the idea that a curry has to boil away for hours on end is out the window.”

Yael Shochat Ima The River Cafe books “The books that really made a difference to me and set me on my path 15 years ago when I was starting out as a chef are all by women.

Coincidence? Probably not.

I found the River Cafe ladies (Rose Gray and Ruth Rogers) very inspiring in their attitude to food and products and I used their books a lot.”

“I’d flick through the pages allocating the different cakes to various neighbourhood kids and cousins. If a mum or aunt pulled off a great rendition of a ‘choo choo train’ or the ‘jelly swimming pool’, they were stars” — Renee Coulter

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Simon Wright’s favourite book is always his newest — in this case, The Nomad Cookbook.

books their culinary journeys.

The Book of Jewish Food

by Claudia Roden (1997) “The great Claudia Roden inspired and informed me with her books on Mediterranean cooking. The Book of Jewish Food: An Odyssey from Samarkand and Vilna to the Present Day is amazing.

Roden gave me a wealth of information on a cuisine I was trying to represent from afar. It wasn’t my only source of info and recipe but it was a really important one.”

The Slow Mediterranean Kitchen

by Paula Wolfert (2004) “Paula Wolfert is another fantastic writer — this book and The Cooking of Eastern Mediterranean(1993) are books I often pull down from the shelves.”

Renee Coulter’s bedtime reading: the 1350-page Larousse encyclopedia.

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nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Thursday, February 18, 2016

Choosing your cruise Cruise ship vacations are increasing in popularity with a wide range of holidaymakers. And finding a cruise line that’s right for you is key.

Photo of mS Noordam supplied by Holland America

New Zealand is one of the world’s fastest growing cruise destinations and locals are ships to choose from than ever before, how do you select the one that is

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ll cruise lines offer delicious food from dusk until dawn, endless onshore and onboard entertainment options, and an impressive array of ports to explore. However, they tend to differ when it comes to style and personality as well as the kind of passengers they attract.

Whether you are an active family seeking action and adventure, a sophisticated couple with a love of fine food and wine or grandparents with your kids and grandkids in tow, one of the following cruise lines is sure to float your boat.

Celebrity Cruises Celebrity Solstice is Australia and New Zealand's highest rated cruise ship, offering a contemporary and affordable take on ‘modern luxury’ and some of the best suite benefits at sea. Relaxed yet exceptional service, impressive dining options and a first-rate children’s programme give this line wide-ranging appeal.

Highlight: The friendly service which is so good it is almost precognitive at times.

Best for: Sophisticated families and over-40s seeking a stylish, modern cruise experience.

The Oceanview bar aboard Celebrity Solstice.

Princess Cruises A traditional cruise experience with a sense of fun, this is the most frequent visitor to New Zealand with six ships scheduled to make more than 200 calls to local ports. Princess offers something for travellers of all ages with modern indoor public spaces, a large selection of dining venues and entertainment options such as Movies under the Stars.

Highlight: The Piazza, a three-storey atrium with myriad entertainment options.

Best for: Multigenerational groups seeking a well-priced holiday.

P&O Cruises Pacific Pearl will be based in Auckland from February to June offering 18 round-trip departures including eight-night Fiji cruises, a 15-night Pacific voyage visiting Fiji, Tonga and Rarotonga as well as a 10-night round New Zealand cruise. There are also six short Sea Breaks including fournight cruises to the Bay of Islands and a food and wine themed Easter itinerary.

Highlight: Gratuities are not automatically added to your onboard bill.

Best for: Anyone seeking a lively, affordable cruise experience.

Cunard Line Cruising from New Zealand with Cunard is a royal affair with two ships, Queen Elizabeth and Queen Victoria,

SERVICED APARTMENTS

from 260,000

Cruising on Cunard’s Queen Elizabeth evokes the Golden Age of cruising.

offering itineraries to the likes of Southampton and San Francisco.

Traditions such as different restaurants for different classes of passengers, set dining times and high tea served by white-gloved waiters hark back to the Golden Age of cruising.

Highlight: Soaking up the old-style glamour at elegant formal nights.

Best for: Traditional cruisers who have the time (and money) for long, leisurely sailings.

Royal Caribbean International New Zealand cruisers can choose from three Royal Caribbean ships: the mid-size Radiance of the Seas which has such good food it is known as ‘the dining ship’, Explorer of the Seas with its ice-skating rink and FlowRider surf simulator, or the new Ovation of the Seas which carries 4180 passengers and is the hottest ticket in town. Think bumper cars, a rollerskating rink, 18 restaurants, robotic bartenders and skydiving at sea.

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Royal Caribbean’s new Ovation of the Seas carries 4180 passengers and offers bumper cars, a rollerskating rink, 18 restaurants, robotic bartenders and skydiving at sea.

getting onboard, with over 70,000 people taking a cruise last year. But with more right for you? Cruise expert Tiana Templeman is here to help.

Highlight: Fun, high-energy activities ensure there is never a dull moment.

Best for: Young-at-heart travellers and families, particularly those with tweens and teens.

Silversea If you like the sound of ultraluxurious suite accommodation and fabulous five-star dining, the allinclusive Silversea is a fine choice (provided you can afford it, of course). Education and enrichment activities are a feature with lecturers providing talks on upcoming destinations and interesting topics which are relevant to the ship’s itinerary. Silver Shadow has a number of upcoming trips to and from New Zealand.

Highlight: With small ships carrying less than 400 passengers, Silversea can navigate narrow waterways and dock at hard-to-reach ports with ease.

Best for: Well-off, mature cruisers who appreciate the finer things in life.

Holland America Line Traditional decor and refined touches such as a daily formal afternoon tea make Holland America a popular choice for older cruisers who don’t need myriad attractions to keep them entertained. Think bridge games and cooking classes rather than surfing simulators and climbing walls. Noordam, which is based in Australia and New Zealand each summer, offers a mid-size ship cruising experience with excellent musical entertainment options.

Highlight: Nightly shows at the onboard B.B. King Blues Club.

Best for: Mature travellers seeking a traditional cruise experience.

Crystal Cruises Crystal Cruises has one of the industry’s highest passenger-to-staff ratios and delivers a lavish allinclusive cruise experience on luxury ships holding around 1000 passengers. If you have ever wondered what people do with a butler, now is your chance to find out as every passenger has one allocated to them. Crystal Symphony sails from Auckland with a choice of short or longer itineraries.

Highlight: The Creative Learning Institute offers everything from computer classes and cooking demos to language lessons.

Best for: Well-travelled passengers aged 50+ and solo travellers as there

The aft pool on Holland America’s ms Noordam - a frequent visitor to NZ.

Top tips for first-timers ■ Don’t sail during the school holidays unless you are travelling with kids.

■ Allow plenty of time for flight delays if you are flying in on the day the cruise leaves.

■ Use embarkation day to explore the ship and get your bearings.

■ Onboard prices are often in US dollars, even if the ship is sailing around New Zealand.

Silversea and Crystal Cruises have a butler at your service.

is no single supplement on many itineraries.

Seabourn If you travel Seabourn expect freeflowing champagne, poolside massages, complimentary predinner cocktails with canape´ s and the finest gourmet dining. Over the past decade, Seabourn has dominated the ultra-luxury category and was awarded the Conde Nast Readers Award for Best Small Ship Cruise Line 2015.

That said, their ships Odyssey, Sojourn, and Quest at 32,000 tonnes are not that small, and a ship this size configured like a normal cruise ship would cater for around 800-1000 guests. As a Seabourn ship, they carry a mere 450 guests and all are ranked

among the world’s top 10 cruise ships.

Highlight: Expect an incredible dining experience and personal attentive service. As Seabourn’s ships are smaller they can visit places the big ships can’t — so expect unique itineraries and authentic discovery — oh, and tipping is neither required nor expected.

Best for: This is 5-star plus luxury cruising. Perfect for a special occasion or those who demand the very best in service, dining and accommodation.

■ Tiana is a freelance travel journalist and specialist cruise writer who is often out-of-town but always online at www.tianatempleman.com

Royal Caribbean’s FlowRider attraction has proved popular on its ships.

■ Most cruise lines offer a laundry service but this can be expensive.

■ Last-minute bargains are sometimes available but booking in advance is usually cheaper.

■ American lines usually have US plugs which means you will need an adaptor.

■ Allow extra in your budget for tips if these aren’t included in your fare.

■ Check out cruisecritic.com.au for advice on everything from cabins to packing and ports.

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nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Thursday, February 18, 2016

With summer almost over it’s time to feast on the last of the season’s fruit and veg and start making plans for autumn, writes Sarah O’Neil

Late summer love

F

ebruary is the season of love and with Valentine’s Day just behind us, we should still be feeling the warm fuzzies.

But this may also be because of the weather. February also has the warmest and most settled weather.

The vegetable garden should have you well and truly in harvest mode by now. The bounty to come from a late summer garden is magnificent: sweet corn so sweet, more tomatoes than you know what to do with and the crispiest, most delicious capsicum.

Making a meal out of the garden is just as much a pleasure due to the sheer abundance as it is to indulge in the fresh flavours.

However we are in the last few weeks of summer as indicated on the calendar.

By this stage of the season the garden is beginning to show its age, with tired and tatty leaves, exhausted from months of generating energy for the production of delicious things for us to eat.

The colour no longer holds the vibrant greens of spring and looks a little faded, as though tired of fending off the incessant pests and diseases that try to take advantage of our hard work.

After a season in the baking sun, the soil itself seems dry and lifeless — the vegetables begin to lose their sparkle.

The excitement of that first tomato has given way to complacency and even boredom at the thought of eating yet more of them.

There is a strong temptation to fall out of love with the garden at this point and just walk away, leaving it as it is with the last of the harvest left clinging to the plant.

But the end of summer doesn’t signal the end of the garden.

There is still plenty to do. With a bit of luck and an Indian summer we may go on to enjoy many more basketfuls of produce , so long as the ageing garden is treated with care, fed regularly and kept well watered.

But the time will come when we need to make a choice as to how we treat the garden in the cooling weather, walking away is not the best thing to do.

Dying plants left to languish in the garden can harbour pests and disease that can over winter in the garden.

If you thought you had it bad this season, next season could be even worse should you ignore the garden.

“The bounty to come from a late summer garden is magnificent. Sweet corn so sweet, more tomatoes than you know what to do with...”

If you decide the season is over — you should put the garden to bed properly.

Remove all trace of the plants that have given you their best over the last few months.

Inspect them thoroughly. If they just look tired, consign them to the compost heap so they can give back in the form of a rich, well-rotted organic material in the future.

If they have been struck down with disease or are riddled with pests, then get rid of them – in the rubbish or, if you can, burn them.

You don’t want them hanging around waiting for an opportunity to return and bring harm to your crops next season.

Remove all the weeds and add some organic material like compost to help the garden to recover after a season of giving out.

Sowing a cover crop at this point will also be beneficial as it can be turned into the soil towards the end of winter to help enrich the soil for spring and it has the added advantage of keeping the soil weed-free.

Or you could put a generous layer of well rotted manure over the surface of the garden and allow the worms to drag it deep into the soil over the long bleak winter months.

If the prospect of manure about the place doesn’t suit you, then sheet mulching could be just the thing. This is when you use cardboard to cover your soil and prevent the weeds.

The worms help to break it down and enrich the soil, but remove all staples, plastic and glue and pop some bricks or other heavy items, maybe a gnome or two to stop it blowing away.

However the best thing to do at the end of a summer garden is once all trace has been removed, re-enrich the soil as you would have done in the spring and plant a cool season garden.

There is quite an array of fabulous crops to grow in the winter that the garden will be full and the gardener will be kept busy throughout the winter.

It may not be cold yet but it will be soon and now is the time to start making plans for the next season.

Sarah is a celebrated garden blogger, speaker and author. Her books The Good Life and Play in the Garden are available now. On the web: www.sarahthegardener.co.nz

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nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Thursday, February 18, 2016

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Helping with your future

What would you like to know?

Future Moves offers a professional, independent, support/advocacy and advice service aimed at older New Zealanders.

If you have questions you’d like Mark and Maria to answer in their next +Plus column, please send them to plus@apn.co.nz with Future Moves in the subject line.

On the web: futuremoves.nz This is a +Plus sponsored content feature.

M

y husband and I are thinking of selling our family home because we are worried about having this asset but no cash flow.

Is moving to a retirement village our only choice?

Carol Choices depend on your ‘drivers’ — friends and family or neighbourhood facilities are common drivers.

You could downsize to an apartment locally, but cash benefits could also come from selling your family home and purchasing two lesser value properties — one to rent for income and the other to live in.

Depending on age, health and lifestyle, a retirement village could work.

However, you need to consider that the monthly fee and your capital investment could be eroded by as much as 30 per cent.

Start narrowing options down based on what’s most important.

I’m a businessman who splits my time between the US and Auckland. I’m the only child of a wonderful mum with increasingly complex home care. Can you help me assess the next step?

Edward

I recently lost my husband, have just purchased a retirement village apartment and need to sell the house. It requires some renovation work and I’m worried about trusting a real estate agent with the sale as this is all new to me. I also have far too much ‘stuff’ for the apartment. Can you help with a plan?

Leigh

Future Moves’ Mark and Maria Trubuhovich answer readers’ questions on retirement Our approach would be to first establish mum’s needs with yourself and her GP. We’d then find a range of care options that meet those needs and report back to you.

Making the decision can be hard, but our experience has shown that the health of a loved one rapidly improves due to increased socialisation.

So our recommendation would be an integrated village with hospital care which would ‘future-proof’

mum’s next stage, should it be required.

I’m a fit, 80-year-old widower. I want to look at home renovations that will help me stay here as I age.

Do you have any suggestions on where to start?

Ben We say to clients who’ve made the decision to ‘age in place’ that we need to look at any current or anticipated medical conditions and match them

with future care requirements.

This would be done in conjunction with your GP. We then present a range of options for modifications that fit this picture: choices range from what we call ‘smart assistive technology’ through to handrails in the bathroom, ramps at entrances.

You may even want to consider converting part of your home to include separate accommodation for a live-in carer, should that be required at some point.

The work required on your property needs to be assessed and carried out by a certified and trusted contractor.

Once that’s done, you’d want to assess contractors who can declutter and stage your home to get the best price.

Next there needs to be a selection process of real estate agencies and agents — they are not all the same.

You need an agent you can trust to work hard on your behalf.

We recommend you have an impartial third party to manage the whole process to settlement.

They would regularly report back to your legal adviser.

Bupa Retirement Villages are small and homely – the kind of place where you immediately feel comfortable and among friends.

We go out of our way to make sure that things are as our residents prefer.

We appreciate moving into a retirement village is a big step, but there are plenty of advantages:

Retirement Villages

Independent living where caring for our residents comes first.

• Friendship in a warm and comfortable place • Safety and peace of mind for the future • Freedom from home maintenance • Seven days free respite care, if you need it • Most Bupa villages are co-located with a care home, should your needs change

0800 60 80 99 bupa.co.nz

D12

nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Thursday, February 18, 2016

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D13

More than 800,000 New Zealanders watch Sky, but +Plus screen critic Paul Casserly is among an increasing number of subscribers who are wondering — is it time to cut the cord?

S

end the MySky back? Get by with Netflix, or Quickflix or Lightbox, or even Neon? Or just learn to make do with Freeview, read more books and save nigh on a hundy a month.

As I’m keen on watching sports of many stripes, though mainly the meat and three veg provided by the ballbased amusements (occasional darts flirtation noted), I’m hopelessly tied to the monthly tithe.

But ditching it is, increasingly, becoming a consideration. My last bill was $111.33, which has me wondering if joining Destiny Church might be the cheaper option?

Like many of you I also pay a telco a good bung for their broadband, so online viewing begins to make all sorts of sense, even if my street is still a year away from the loving tentacles of the fibre network.

Yes, I could ditch Sky and use their Fan Pass (pay-as-you-go option for viewing sports) when I feel the need for sport, but that requires admin.

And admin is the enemy.

Sky’s attempt to stave off the tsunami named Netflix via their underwhelming on-demand supplementary update and box thingy hasn’t helped matters, and that screen-clogging carry-on with oldperson-irritating-small-text has made matters worse. Worse still, the fact that changing the channel on Sky now takes five seconds longer is a passion-killer for lovers of (channel) surfing.

If I was going to have a cut-thechord-tantrum this was the moment

I would have cracked, but alas, I have not. I say alas based purely on the cost of running Sky, which increasingly feels like riding in a Corporate Cab when I could just use Uber.

So why do I stay?

News is another reason. Freeview has Al Jazeera for a news fix, and it does a great job, but I like to check in with CNN and BBC (especially Dateline London) and during the runup to a presidential election Fox News is infuriatingly watchable.

For premium HBO vibes, Soho has

“Sky . . . increasingly feels like riding in a Corporate Cab when I could just use Uber.” been a reliable addition and is my goto channel with its Game of Thrones, Fargo, Ray Donovan, The Knick, Catastrophe.

Replays of classic series like The Sopranos and Deadwood keep it afloat during the down times when the likes of stupid old Strikeback clogs its arteries, but I have considered that I could get by with Lightbox and Netflix on that front — and I could find the best of BBC and the worst of Fox from YouTube.

The inescapable truth is that it is mostly sport that keeps me tethered to Sky and it’s been the introduction of useful services like SkyGo, rather than the useless new upgrade, that I

really appreciate.

Don’t get me wrong; I have a lot to be grateful for. The MySky video recorder has changed my life — maybe not quite like the refrigerator or even the toaster, more on the George Foreman Grill or Nutra Ninja level, but still, life is better because of it.

And as much as I can’t resist the urge to save myself money by using Uber, part of me hates being a pawn to some corporate American selfsaucing ‘disrupter’ whose ability to maximize profit is matched by an aversion to paying tax.

Like Uber, Netflix may well be the inevitable winner, but as someone who has been backing the Sky horse for so long I want them to at least put up a better fight. The On Demand offering is lame, and the pickings are way too slim, and the way it first directs you to pay-per-view Box Office material is as subtle as those nasty hotel-room TV set-ups.

During the moments when RAIN FADE appears on the screen I curse Sky and pretend that I am actually considering breaking up with them.

It’s a hollow and short-lived threat.

Which leads me to a tip.

I have recently developed a realworld application that largely fixes the RAIN FADE issue. It may possibly work for you. I head out on to my deck with a broom and give the dish the bash. A good seeing-to, like the ones the nuns used to dish out to Kiri Te Kanawa.

The metallic antenna wobbles, and hey presto, the screen comes back to

The excellent documentary Fifa, Sepp Blatter and Me, featuring the investigative journalism of Andrew Jennings (right) is available free, via YouTube.

NZME.

life. It’s a strangely satisfying feeling in this high tech world, and reminds me of cleaning the ignition points on my old Triumph Herald.

B

y far the best thing I’ve seen of late is available to all, for free, via YouTube.

It’s a documentary called Fifa, Sepp Blatter and Me. This is the culmination of some 15 years of investigative journalism into the football institution by a charming old dude called Andrew Jennings who takes us behind the curtain of the world’s biggest, most lucrative and possibly most corrupt sport.

But this is not just a damning indictment on Fifa’s Mafia-like tendencies and its gallery of rouges, although that is part of the fun.

Jennings is the star of this show, and

he’s great company as he dogs Sepp and his cronies, dressed like Peter Falk’s Colombo and pretending to be a harmless old man.

They probably laughed him off a decade ago as he haunted their meetings and asked impertinent questions at airports.

But it’s Jennings who gets to sit back in his home at the end of the documentary, barely concealing a chuckle, as he turns to the camera with a satisfied: “I told you he was a crook.”

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D14

nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Thursday, February 18, 2016

Waiheke Island’s rating as the ‘No 5 region in the world to visit’ by Lonely Planet was greeted with raised eyebrows by many locals. Longtime Waihekian Donna McIntyre explains why.

Paradise with a price S

ure, the rating is great news for those in hospitality or tourism. Perfect if you like spotting Lady Gaga flying in by helicopter, want a selfie with Taylor Swift on the ferry. Why, you ask? Surely we Waihekians like the kudos of living in one of the globe’s hottest destinations?

Yes, Islanders do love their beautiful corner of the world. But what makes it so attractive is being “so backward we’re forward”.

It amuses us that when we moved to the island two decades ago, people would ask incredulously, “Waiheke, why do you want to live there? It’s only for hippies, dope growers and people on benefits.”

Twenty years later we live in the same house, but people now think we live in a playground for the rich and famous — “Oh, you are so lucky.” It is regarded as the Queenstown of the North Island.

So what is it like living on Waiheke?

The “rock” is a great place to give kids a safe Kiwi childhood. Our kids go barefoot. Our safe beaches don’t need patrols. Kids grow up knowing how to conserve water because we’re on tank supply. Don’t run the water when you brush your teeth! We’re happy for them to wander with their mates to the shop or the playground.

We don’t have Maccas, BK or KFC and we’re proud of that. An oldy but a goody April’s Fool joke is to erect a sign saying “McDonald’s is coming to this site”. It always gets a reaction.

Yes, we do have electricity (seriously, I have been asked), three schools and GPs. We even got a supermarket a while back.

If you do visit, bring a torch. That’s another “perk” of island life: experiencing the enforced romance of impromptu half-baked candle-lit dinners during power cuts. Internet speed and cellphone coverage are slowly improving.

Freight, courier deliveries and petrol cost more because of that stretch of water between Auckland and Waiheke. We pay $2.18 for petrol when you can find it for $1.65 on the mainland.

And come summer, the island feels like it groans with the additional mass of visitors and the increased traffic rolling off the car ferries.

We can handle our overflowing cafes, our busy beaches; we know that window of time is when busi-

Waiheke resident Susi Newborn

“I once lived on a most beautiful island off the coast of Turkey, destroyed once it was ‘discovered’ by tourists.

Tragically, I feel the same is happening to Waiheke. I am extremely concerned that an influx of tourism will compromise our already stretched infrastructure and resources; our aquifers are already being depleted by the demand for bought water for filling swimming pools and watering the manicured lawns of newly constructed holiday homes of the mainland wealthy.

These monied elite find loopholes in planning regulations to build their edifices within the coastal protection zone, on ‘paper roads’, destroying culturally significant sites, blocking iconic views which have provided islanders and visitors with that ‘ah ha’ moment many of us have revered for decades. These people will never become part of the ‘real Waiheke’; they choose not to participate in the community they destroy. Tourism may bring more financial security to local businesses, but it will kill the very heart and soul of the island tourists come to visit. I would be in favour of restricting the number of tourists, as is happening already in a number of nesses make good money. And we know we live in a paradise others only get to visit.

But it’s looking like we’re about to be invaded. Lonely Planet has told THE WORLD to beat a track to Waiheke. Its spokesman, Chris Zeiher, said the island’s unique community is “bohemian and [its] hippy past is not far from the surface”.

But so many colourful bohemian, hippy characters, who made Waiheke interesting, are leaving to live somewhere where life is less expensive, less complicated. They can’t afford the rents and their free spirits suffocate in the rules and regulations of the Supercity (don’t walk your dog

PHOTO TED BAGHURST

locations around the world and — in the meantime — coming up with a viable plan to mitigate the damage this predicted influx will cause.”

— Susi Newborn has lived on Waiheke since 1994 “I love this place because of the people who are here and the people who have passed on now but who set down some good morals. Waiheke is a place you can go to and heal. But maybe Lonely Planet should also have gone to the Budgeting Service and asked what the island is really like. So many people need help.”

— Danny Shortland, 40-plus years on Waiheke “Tourists are the lifeblood of places like Waiheke. You don’t have to like the influx but you do have to acknowledge that it puts money into the pockets of the people who run the businesses and do the work. I always rather liked it when the island filled up with loopies, and I feel the same way about the Bay of Islands which has the same attributes as Waiheke but fewer wankers.”

— Leigh Bramwell, former resident

here, turn down the music, don’t park your car here). Mind you, Jeremy Clarkson and David Farrier are doing their bit to dissuade visitors.

That $14 you pay for a glass of wine at a cafe´ is close to the minimum hourly wage many vineyard workers earn. There’s a fiscal divide between working people struggling to find an affordable place to rent — some live in cars or tents — while some mansions sit empty for most of the year.

House values have surged. And every year leading up to Christmas, tenants are given notice by owners wanting the house for the holidays.

“Help, I have six weeks to find a

house to rent before Christmas,” goes the cry on Facebook’s Waiheke rentals pages.

Changing times and affluent newcomers mean you don’t see as many “island cars” — those ageing, sagging, rusting, will-it-or-won’t-it-geta-WOF vehicles that you could leave outdoors in the salty air. Now the streets are lined with late-model sedans, sports cars and 4WDs. Locals just want visitors to be considerate. DON’T drive at crazy speeds on our narrow, patched-up, pot-holed, winding roads. DO watch for pedestrians and cyclists because many of those narrow roads don’t have footpaths.

“That $14 you pay for a glass of wine at a cafe´ is close to the minimum hourly wage many vineyard workers earn.

There’s a fiscal divide between working people struggling to find an affordable place to rent (some live in cars and tents) while some mansions sit empty for most of the year.”

It definitely costs more to live on the island. At $36 for an adult return, $126 for an islanders’ return trip for a car and driver, the ferry ride crosses one of the most expensive stretches of water in the world. There’s no subsidy like some other Auckland ferry services. Learner drivers have to travel to Auckland for their tests, and that adds another $126 on top of the licence fee.

A family outing to Auckland can blow the budget. Luckily the arrival of competition a year ago has halted annual ferry price hikes, given us choice and more sailings.

For years we have set our clocks by the ferry timetable. Miss the 8.45 Saturday night sailing and it was a 90-minute wait until the next. And those queues on Friday afternoons easily add 20 minutes waiting time to the 35-minute trip. Good news was ferries coming and going on the halfhour in December.

Our bus services are also tied to the ferry timetable, and at peak periods ferry passengers push the buses to capacity, meaning they drive past anyone waiting at stops along the route. Catch a taxi instead? Check the price first. Horror stories of people being charged double the fare for a similar length ride in Auckland are not exaggerated.

So, yes, Waiheke is a beautiful place to live and visit. But it does come at a cost. So, if next year, Waiheke slips off Lonely Planet’s radar, we won’t be complaining … well, not as much anyway!

D15

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nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Thursday, February 18, 2016

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