NZ Herald Plus Feature - February 2019

A New Zealand Herald Commercial Publication

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

RETIRE RIGHT WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

TOURING THE BACK ROADS OF FRANCE INSIDE: WIN A YATES GARDENING HAMPER

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nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Tuesday, February 19, 2019

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nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Tuesday, February 19, 2019

PLUS+ CONTENTS The upside of ageing p4

Vive la France p6

Planning for your retirement p8

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On K Road again p12-p13 Editor Greg Fleming

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Advertising enquiries Ben Trethewey ben.trethewey@nzme.co.nz

The next issue of Plus will be published on May 21 Plus is a NZME Commercial Publication

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PLUS+ COVER STORY

nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Tuesday, February 19, 2019

By 40, most of us have given up the regular booze-ups and can face the morning with a spring in our step (left); the 80s and 90s gave us U2 (below right), and Nirvana; toxic relationships are no longer tolerated as you get older.

Photos / Supplied; Getty Images

The upside of ageing Joanna Mathers’ homage to all the great things about getting older

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ife begins at 40, or so the song goes. And if you’re old enough to remember Dave and the Dynamos’ (rather painful) 1980s hit, you will have reached its titular milestone, the big four-oh.

In many ways, life does begin at 40. Age brings with it knowledge — a keen sense of who we should avoid, what we shouldn’t indulge in, and what makes us happy. These are lessons learned in youth, and they can be painful ones. By the fifth or sixth decade of life, this knowledge has become part of our mental makeup, and there are fewer traps for young players.

I’m not denying that there are challenges to advancing age. You may feel about 28 in your head, but with a body that’s crumbling around you, you sure don’t look it. Aches, pains, grey hair, wrinkles, looming death and dementia . . . this gig’s not for the faint of heart.

But it’s not good to dwell on such negativity. Here’s a brief homage to the great things about getting older; so, sit back, put on your spectacles, and consider the following.

Our musical memories are better If you’re 40-plus, you are lucky enough to have lived through times in which music was fresh and original. Baby Boomers were alive at a time when rock’n’roll was actually invented. Elvis, the Beatles, the Rolling Stones . . . the music was pure gold and the vibe was heady. The 1970s brought with it glam, punk and post-punk — some of the most exciting, innovative and inspiring music that’s ever been made. Even the ’80s had its good moments — early U2, the Smiths, Echo and the Bunnymen. The grungy ’90s brought with it Nirvana, a band that has no equal in the soulless 2010s. Take your pop pap, youngsters. I’d rather be old and have my memories.

can remember life without it and have our own ways of having fun.

We know how to entertain ourselves without devices “Digital natives” find it hard to spend five minutes away from their devices.

Those of us old enough to remember life before the internet had to find our own ways to entertain ourselves. We would read for hours, go for long walks, play board games or cards, listen to music on vinyl. This means we have inner resources that younger people have had no time to fine tune. We can say “no” to the tyranny of technology, because we

We don’t fall for the selfimprovement shtick Self-improvement, eh? By our age we’ve improved as much as we are probably going to.

Life’s dealt out some hard lessons, and we’ve come through them, scarred, but (hopefully) still intact. Twentysomethings are likely to look at trim and tanned Instagram stars for inspiration, but by the time you reach middle age, you see through such superficiality. Six packs and perfectly toned thighs take time and effort; unless you’re a gym bunny you have better things to do. You know that appearances can be (and often are) deceiving.

We don’t judge so harshly You’ve been there and done that and people’s peccadillos no longer shock you. How other people look, what they wear, and the decisions they make are their own business. The edges of judgement are softened by years at the coalface (if only because you are so tired that you can’t be

assed worrying about what other people do). Kindness and empathy are often forged by age; as your body softens so does your attitude to others. Embrace this — it’s a beautiful thing to be accepting.

We’ve seen bad times (and good) come and go By the time you reach your 40s, you realise that there is a time for everything. Bad leaders will rise and fall, money and success will ebb and flow.

Your values and beliefs are still extremely important, but it’s easier to realise that everything is transient.

The likes of Donald Trump might be abominable, but you’ve seen his type come and go. Nothing is forever. The perspective of age makes it easier to be philosophical.

Mornings are much easier Many of us spent our 20s in a state of perpetual partying. By 40, most of us have given up the regular boozeups and can face the morning with a spring in our steps. No more Berocca-fuelled greasy breakfasts on the way to work; hey, some of us don’t need to go to work at all! We can face each new day with freshness and resolve, instead of feeling like some-

thing the cat dragged in.

We (might) have more money It’s not the case for everyone, but if you’ve been blessed with good health and a good job, it’s likely that money is no longer a worry. Middle aged and senior people are spending more money than ever on luxuries such as travel — cashed up Baby Boomers in particular have the time and the disposable income to do what they hell they want. Eateries in the innercity of places such as Auckland are often jammed with older people looking for new and exciting culinary experiences. It’s great to be older when you have the money to fill in the time that is increasingly available as we age.

We no longer put up with toxic people When you’re young, it’s hard to spot the people who will make your life a misery. Once you’re older, you can see them coming a mile off. Your BS radar is finely tuned; shallow flattery and false sincerity don’t work on you and you can spot a narcissist a mile off. The journey is far less bumpy once you can spot the human potholes in the road.

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nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Tuesday, February 19, 2019

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PLUS+ TRAVEL

nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Tiana Templeman takes the backroads in an unforgettable corner of France

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y last European bus trip was an “it’s-Tuesday-soit-must-be-Paris-pass-meanother-beer” tour with Contiki. Thirty years later, my eightnight La Belle France trip with BackRoads Touring promises to be very different.

And not just because all of us on the tour bus are now too old for Contiki.

For a start, our group is staying in atmospheric boutique hotels rather than tents, and bottles of chilled Chenin Blanc and rich Burgundy will take the place of the cheapest booze we can find. There won’t be any wideeyed first-time overseas travellers like I was in 1988 on the bus either.

Back-Roads Touring specialise in leisurely tours with no more than 18 passengers, all of whom tend to be experienced travellers who prefer someone else to look after the driving and logistics. While “must see” tourist sites still make an appearance, itineraries favour those who enjoy immersing themselves in a destination with authentic historic, culinary, cultural experiences and plenty of free time to explore independently along the way.

Our tour bus is almost full of passengers aged 50 to 70, with a lively mix of couples, two sisters travelling together and one solo adventurer.

Like most of my travelling companions, I’ve chosen the La Belle France itinerary because it includes a bit of everything: chateauxsprinkled countryside, Normandy’s WWII sites, historic villages, a visit to Monet’s Garden, Honfleur, and Mont Saint-Michel, plus wine tasting in the picturesque Loire Valley.

Given the name of the company, it is no surprise when our driver and guide Michael Smith announces we’re leaving the highway to explore the backroads not long after we leave Paris. Michael moved to France from England in the early 90s and is brimming with local knowledge and the enthusiasm of someone who loves their job.

Our first stop is Monet’s Garden, which brings back memories of high school art classes where I tried in vain to replicate the muted colours and natural beauty captured by Monet.

Vive la France Monet’s Garden (main); clowning around at Mont-St-Michel (left); Chateau de Villandry (above).

Photos / Supplied

We stroll along manicured paths as Michael tells us how the artist dammed a tiny tributary of the Seine River to create the famous water lily pond, which features in more than 200 of his paintings.

The gardens are blissfully quiet on this cloudy Autumn day and we have plenty of time to explore its fragrant surrounds.

Most of the men are up bright and early the following morning, filled with anticipation of what lies ahead.

Unfortunately I don’t share their enthusiasm. As someone who has never been interested in war history,

A fast and fabulous self drive holiday General Manager of Drive Europe, Delwyn Sinclair takes on Europe in the brand new Citroen C3 Aircross SUV. Thirteen days, three countries, 2,632kms and 1,511 photos later Delwyn shares her experience of seeing Europe from the front seat of the world’s biggest little car.

We collected our brand new “spicy orange” Citroen C3 Aircross manual petrol with GPS from the Paris CDG Airport location at around 7.30am on a quiet midSeptember Sunday morning. The perfect choice for two adults and one child.

the prospect of spending an entire day touring Normandy’s WWII sites doesn’t exactly thrill me. However, one the most rewarding things about joining a tour is how it forces you to step outside your comfort zone and experience things you wouldn’t normally see.

At the American, Canadian, Australian and New Zealand war cemeteries crosses stretch as far as the eye can see. However, among the stories of war there are also moments of beauty. Strolling along a silent Omaha Beach bathed in soft morning light provides a moment of quiet

reflection and a poignant contrast to the violent scenes that unfolded here on D-Day in 1944.

The next day we awake to brilliant blue skies and I am the one filled with anticipation. I have been trying to get to Mont Saint-Michel for so long that it is hard to believe I’ve finally made it when we arrive at the site the following afternoon. Michael points out the tide times on a sign near the base of the medieval monastery before we join him for a guided tour.

“You should be okay today but don’t be tempted to venture out too far after our walk. When the tide

rushes in, it’s impossible to make it back safely from some parts of the tidal flats.”

The famous Romanesque church is located on an island and has a village at its base that was founded in the Middle Ages. This has retained its lively atmosphere, although the storekeepers do a roaring trade in fridge magnets rather than supplies for pilgrims these days. We hike up the steep, winding streets and into the church, admiring the sweeping view across the bay before we stroll through the picturesque cloister, ornate abbey and lodging rooms.

After the guided tour, everyone heads off to explore on their own. I venture on to the tidal flats to tiptoe through the mud, most of which has thankfully been baked dry by the sun.

Soon I am joined by other solo travellers and we have fun clowning around taking each other’s photo. It was a long time coming but my visit to Mont Saint-Michel proves that sometimes good things really do come to those who wait. However, perhaps surprisingly, it not Mont Saint-Michel that is the highlight of my trip.

Over the following days, we visit Chateau de Chenonceau and Villandry, grand chateaux in the heart of the Loire Valley. We also play picnic Russian roulette. One morning a hat is passed around the bus and each couple draws a picnic item to buy for lunch. Lady Luck is not on my side as I get wine. Michael gallantly steps in as my plus one to split the cost since I’m travelling solo and also helps me choose some excellent local drops for everyone to enjoy.

We lay out our feast on a picnic table and toast our guide for finding such a great spot beside the Cher River. The sun is shining, the river is sparkling and the food, wine and company is superb. Just like Cher, we wish we could turn back time when Michael reluctantly says it is time to leave.

However, it’s not all bad. We’re off for more wine tasting, this time in an atmospheric 10th century cellar.

We pack up the picnic and store our supplies in the onboard fridge in preparation for an impromptu dinner alongside the Vienne River near our hotel. This picnic is even better than the first one thanks to the stunning view of Chinon, a town so beautiful the entire city was declared a Unesco World Heritage Site. The setting sun lights up Chateau de Chinon, where Joan of Arc was sent to join the army at Orleans, and bathes the sky in pink and blue. Today has been my tour highlight.

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I was nicely surprised twelve months earlier, my first time driving in Europe, how easy it was to adjust to driving on the ‘right’ side.

But I had no such chance this time because my husband was with me and decided he would do all the driving. No problem – I’m a much better back seat driver anyway! Being the chief GPS programmer was also part of my job description –

C3 Aircross in one of the many colourful towns in the Alsace region of France

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nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Tuesday, February 19, 2019

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PLUS+ RETIREMENT

nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Planning for your retirement R

Diana Clement

etirement heralds an entire new chapter in life. It brings with it not just relaxation, but a list of new challenges.

What will you do with your time?

How will you keep your social networks up? Can you stay healthy? Are you able to afford 30 years with no work?

The nitty gritty of this involves more than relaxing and collecting New Zealand Superannuation.

Factors to be taken into consideration with retirement include your income, diet, health and social networks, which are all interconnected, says Stephanie Clare, chief executive of Age Concern.

The single most important issue from Age Concern’s perspective is to stay connected to your family and community, Clare says.

“We know loneliness is a health issue [and] one by one people disappear in our lives.”

Clare is keen to point out that ageing is a positive thing and that it’s never too late to start making new contacts.

Unfortunately, the higher your income during your working life, the more likely you are to retire well, says Christine Stephens, psychology professor at Massey University. Stephens is part of the team managing Massey’s Health and Ageing Research Team’s (HART) longitudinal study of ageing.

She says research shows that retiring well usually happens to those who have had a privileged childhood and a good middle-class job during their working lives.

“Having money is the best way to retire well. There is no getting away from that.”

Someone who has laboured all their lives, worked in precarious jobs, and is not already financially secure at retirement is far more likely to struggle on many fronts.

The next priority is to maintain your health, says Stephens.

“Eat sensibly, exercise and get seven to nine hours sleep a night.

That is my personal advice.”

Like Clare, Stephens says that good social networks are essential to retiring right. Too often, people’s social relationships revolve around work and dissolve once they retire, to the detriment of their mental and physical health. Many new retirees have plans, but five years down the track find themselves at home watching television and cleaning, says Stephens. The children they based their lives around don’t want them in their pocket 24/7.

Retirement can bring relaxation as well as challenges; Stephanie Clare (inset), CEO of Age Concern.

Photo / Getty Images; Supplied

Too many people cash up their KiwiSaver age 65 and either blow it, or put it in term deposits allowing inflation to eat away at it.

“You want to go into retirement with some existing social relationships that you can maintain after work,” she says.

Retirement doesn’t always start on Kiwis’ 65th birthday. Many transition into retirement before or after that date. Some keep working because they simply can’t afford to live on NZ Super. Others enjoy working or like a bit of extra money and choose to dial it back slowly over time.

Retirement isn’t all about money, says Clare. Yes cruises cost money, but knocking at the neighbours' doors and catching up with friends and family needn’t cost money.

It can’t be escaped, however, that money does help with a comfortable retirement and an element of retiring right includes ensuring your money lasts as long as you do.

Decumulation needs to be planned. Too many people cash up their KiwiSaver age 65 and either blow it, or put it in term deposits

allowing inflation to eat away at it.

Your retirement could last 30 years, points out Ralph Stewart, chief executive of the Retirement Income Group, who is a veteran of the financial services industry. Creating a plan for how you will spend that money is the best thing you can do.

Stewart recommends dividing your savings between four buckets: income, rainy day, fix it up, and fun.

Work out the income bucket first by calculating how much money you will need to spend to live in the period of time you expect to be retired. Typically, new retirees spend about 60 to 70 per cent of their preretirement income for the first 10 years, and then a lesser amount as they age.

Deduct your NZ Super from your budget and the remainder is how much you need to generate from your savings for day-to-day living.

Remember that most people spend less in the latter part of their retirement. Stewart cites research that sug-

gests a couple with modest spending habits retiring in Auckland will need to generate an extra $271.92 per week over and above NZ Super to meet basic living expenses.

“To secure this level of tax paid additional weekly income, an investment of circa $280,000 [is needed] for a couple to generate a retirement income,” he says.

Kiwis don’t always understand that their lump sum may need to last for decades, which means a chunk of it needs to be invested in growth assets, another chunk for the medium term in the likes of bonds, and only money to spend in the next five to 10 years in cash assets, such as term deposits. Lifetime offers annuity-style products, which guarantee a fixed income from investors’ lump sum for life, regardless of what happens to the markets or how long they live.

Some retirees invest on their own; others choose income-style funds through financial advisers.

PLUS+ GARDENING

nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Tuesday, February 19, 2019

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There’s still time for a fresh start A

Sarah O’Neil

s far as seasons go, autumn isn’t a bad one. The temperatures gradually decrease, almost imperceptible until we reach winter.

On the whole, it is kind to us with less of the dramatic weather events other seasons like to impose. It conjures up earthy aromas, that draw us into the cosiness required of winter, yet allows us to indulge in outdoor pursuits in relative comfort.

It is a gradual change from one season to the next, and in our desire to cling to all things summer, we can almost miss a very important gardening window.

The dying days of summer and the start of autumn are the best days start the garden over again for the crops that will nourish us through the long bleak winter. They need the lingering warmth in the soil to give them a good start and a chance to get ahead before the chill of winter slows their growth right down.

There is something therapeutic about starting seeds. It is like a clean slate for a new season. The challenges of the previous season can be put behind you; the pests and diseases of summer will not be around in numbers great enough to bother these new plants. There is nothing ahead but hope for a successful harvest in months to come.

In the spring, this can be quite overwhelming as there are so many possibilities for things to grow and so many seeds and seedlings to take care of that will overwhelm all of the windowsills in the house to ensure they get enough light yet stay warm enough in the cool of spring.

In autumn is it a completely different kettle of fish.

They can be started outdoors as

Photo / Getty Images

the temperature is just fine for seeds, whether you sow them in seed trays for transplanting later or directly into the spot they will spend their lives.

The same points for successful sowing in the spring also applies to the autumn.

Fresh seeds are best for successful germination rates. You can use seeds from open packets within the expiry dates and get good results if they have been stored correctly in a cool,

dry dark place.

The rule of thumb is to sow seeds three times as deep as they are big and gently pat down to make sure they have good contact with the soil.

Having said that, as with all things there are exceptions so check the sowing instructions on the seed packet before beginning.

It is also important to keep the soil evenly moist throughout the germination period and as the seedlings

establish.

This is one challenge autumn seedlings face — it is still warm enough for the soil surrounding the seed tucked just below the surface to dry out completely in the blink of an eye.

A plastic cover used in spring to retain moisture and heat can fry poor seedlings so isn’t recommended or necessary.

However, a cover is beneficial, especially if you are growing

brassicas. The Cabbage White Butterfly is around in great numbers at this time of year and if she lays her eggs on your young seedlings, they won’t stand a chance.

Protecting your plants with butterfly netting will ensure they get to the stage where they have all but disappeared for the winter and you can remove the net safely.

While the choice of seed isn’t anywhere near the level of the summer crops, you may be surprised with what you can actually grow over the winter months.

Have a look at the advice on the back of the seed packets in your collection or in store to see what will work in your area.

If you get the right varieties, you can grow crops like carrots, beetroot and spring onion all year round so you can sow them often for a continual supply.

Now is also the time to sow more broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, kohlrabi and Brussels sprouts, leek, fennel, silverbeet, spinach, broad beans and peas.

You can also add season crops like turnips and swedes, which gives an old-fashioned comfort to winter meals. Check out what else you can grow at this time of year to add variety and interest to your winter diet.

The winter garden need not be empty, but can be filled with wonderful things to eat, if you get started now. ● Sarah O'Neil is an author, blogger and passionate gardener writing about the trials and tribulations of growing food for her family. Her books Play in the Garden and Growing Vegetables are available at bookstores. sarahthegardener.co.nz

Building Fine Homes

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nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Tuesday, February 19, 2019

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nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Tuesday, February 19, 2019

From the page to the screen Turns out there’s still a place for oldschool journalism beyond factchecking Trump’s tweets — on the screen. By Greg Fleming

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wo of the best slow burner films of last year — Felix Van Groeningen’s Beautiful Boy and David Lowery’s The Old Man and The Gun — are based on longform stories by journalists ( Beautiful Boy based on New York Times journalist David Sheff’s story and subsequent book and son Nic’s memoir about his addiction to crystal meth, while TOMATG is based on David Grann’s New Yorker story on septuagenarian bank robber Forrest Tucker).

While TOMATG is a wonderful swan song for Robert Redford, 82, — who has said it’s his last movie — Beautiful Boy has 24-year-old Timothee Chalamet in a star-making performance (I’m reminded of Jennifer Lawrence’s breakout role in Winter’s Bone).

Despite Beautiful Boy’s tough subject matter, Van Groeningen concentrates on the impact of the addiction on the father and the family.

There’s a white-upper-middle class sheen that, ironically, might make this addiction story more impactful — this ain’t The Wire. Expect it to be recommended at Al-Anon meetings.

It’s certainly the best-looking drug movie ever — the cinematography sparkles and I definitely want to live in the Sheff family home where much of the film takes place (it’s actually the same house used by Zoe Kravitz’s character in Big Little Lies). I think the implication is meant to be that if addiction can take hold here — in progressive, early 90s Marin County — it can strike anywhere, but at times I felt I was watching HGTV.

Timothee Chalamet as Nic Sheff and Steve Carell as David Scheff star in Beautiful Boy; Robert Redford in The Old Man and the Gun (inset).

Much of the focus is on Steve Carrell (again excellent in a dramatic role) as an earnest father trying to figure out why his young, talented son — a 90s hipster who beats the dash to Nirvana and quotes Bukowski in class — turns to crystal meth. Was it the result of the ugly divorce and subsequent split parenting? His own inattention? Those Bukowski books?

Or, is he just a spoilt brat? Earnest Sheff, ever the journo, seeks out medical experts, numerous therapists, and rehab after rehab to little avail.

At one point he even scores some meth from the street and snorts it in an attempt to understand its appeal.

That sense of futility, when wellmeaning, urbane and privileged people are up against something as implacable as addiction, is where this draws its power.

At one point Sheff, fed up with his son’s constant relapses, shouts at his son — “Solve it!” — as if beating addiction were a Sudoku puzzle.

Beautiful Boy benefits from good performances from a big-name sup-

porting cast, which includes Amy Ryan as Nic’s mother and Maura Tierney as the ever-patient step mother. Tierney especially, makes the most of a limited role; a stilted car chase she’s involved in is one of the film’s most affecting scenes.

Impeccably shot, well-written and boasting great performances, Beautiful Boy is a cautionary tale of privilege but one that never cuts as deep as it should. Its best moments involve the toxic father/son relationship, a fascinating dance of power and control, every bit as destructive as the drug itself. Still, with its vapid surface and uneasy resolution, it’s a movie that will play like a horror film to parents of teenagers everywhere.

Redford’s last stand The Old Man and the Gun opens with Tucker, a harmless looking senior citizen with a strange moustache and a hearing aid, standing at a teller’s window. He presumably has a gun but we don’t see it until he’s in the getaway car. His method of

demanding money from the teller is polite, robbery with a smile: “Excuse me, I’d like to open up an account.”

“What kind of account?”

“This kind . . .” whereupon he opens his jacket to show his gun.

With the cash secured we’re off on a light-as-a-feather ride that plays best as a homage to one of the screen’s great stars (there are knowing nods to The Sting and Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid).

While Casey Affleck, Danny Glover and Tom Waits head up the supporting cast (check out Waits’ “that’s why I hate Christmas” speech) — there’s no question this is Redford’s movie.

Lowery allows him room to put that wry charm to full effect; only Sissy Spacek — brilliant as Redford’s love interest Jewel — can keep up.

There are some missteps — Affleck — playing a police chief out to catch Tucker and his cohorts is given a thankless role that only reminds you how good Redford still is, and one wonders why Spacek wasn’t given more screen time. In one scene,

The delights of dawdling Paul Casserly TV review Frantic TV has its charms. Take Veep, in which Julia Louis-Dreyfus (nee Elaine from Seinfeld), flails around like a mad woman’s knitting as a bullying politician who claws her way to President. It gives the viewer a cortisol-inducing thrill ride and ages you with its quickfire demonstration that politics is not for widdle babies, though to be fair, Julia’s appalling Selina Meyer makes the idea of working for Maggie Barry seem like it might be child's play.

But I’ve been enjoying the other end of the spectrum of late and have a trio of slow-moving gems to recommend.

Escape at Dannemora (Soho, Neon) This is a glacial but drama-fuelled retelling of a true story concerning a prison break in the US in which a female prison guard (Patricia Arquette) has an intimate and ultimately disastrous relationship

with two inmates (Benicio Del Toro and Paul Dano). We know the drill with prison dramas but we don’t usually get the feeling we’re watching them in real time.

The slow burn of the planning phase is rolled out like a marathon, the ducks that need to be lined up are but a few, but getting them plumb is thrilling even as it tugs at the attention span. Episode one of this seven-parter is a perfectly honed thing, the tone is as remarkable as the director’s name on the credits is surprising: Ben Stiller? He’s got a dark heart all right, we kinda knew that, but he’s really found his calling here.

Let it drift along, drag you in and remind you that breaking out of the nick ain’t as easy as it looks on Hogan’s Heroes.

Arquette’s character is a study in the terrifying nexus of self loathing and self obsession and Del Toro is just gloriously ghastly; his fellow jailbreaker (Paul Dano) is the viewer’s closest friend, though the long-suffering husband, played by Eric Lang, steals the show with his hangdog sadness of epic proportions.

Photos / Supplied

Tucker takes her to a jewellery shop in a mall, they find a bracelet she likes, she tries it on then he motions her to the door and out they go, but within a few steps Jewel — who suspects, but pretends she doesn’t know what her late-life boyfriend does for a living — reconsiders and returns to the shop spouting embarrassed apologies. Of course, Tucker then brings out a wad of cash and buys it for her.

Elsewhere there’s a couple of scenes with just Redford and Spacek jawing across a diner table; I’d pay to see more of that. Whatever the truth of Tucker’s tale — and the film brushes lightly over the reasons for Tucker’s life-long criminality — Lowery’s picaresque retelling is far better than it has any right to be and that’s because of Redford. Thank God we don’t have 2017’s risible Our Souls At Night as Redford’s last stand. Lowery’s tonguein-cheek heist movie sees him out in style. ● Beautiful Boy Amazon; The Old Man and the Gun (in theatres).

test but without Simon Doull droning on.

Clockwise: Benicio de Toro in Escape at Dannemora Photos / Supplied (above); In the Zone; Go South (below left).

Go South (Prime) In the time you take to watch Escape at Dannemora you’d only be halfway down the North Island via the train.

I haven’t taken the trip since the late 1980s, but it remains a sort of obsession. The last time rail had an impact on our TV schedules was when Marcus Lush played the pig in muck in his much loved Off The Rails series.

Go South, which ran recently on Prime and is available via it’s on-demand service, is a real slowpoke. A full 12-hour version ran overnight, though I only made it through the highlights package, which weighed in at a mere three hours.

Initial signs were not good as the off from the Auckland rail station was

underwhelming. But before long I was off and involved in this strangely familiar journey. There is no voice over, just the occasional text giving potted history and geographic pointers. I found myself drifting, attending to emails, watering a plant, but the train rolled on and dragged me back. A drone shot popped up to reveal a beauty spot, and finally the ultimate rail-based wonder, the magnificent Raurimu Spiral.

Slow TV of this kind was pioneered by the Norwegians a decade ago with a seven-hour train journey.

Ocean cruises and moose hunts have followed. Like them, Go South is gloriously boring and wondrous at the same time. I sat transfixed, and then wandered away, only to come back to see where we were up to.

Sort of like a slow-moving cricket

In The Zone (TVNZ On Demand) Fans of real-estate jargon will be familiar with the enticing phrase “Grammar Zone”.

A tried-and-true method of getting your kids ahead is to pack them off to a fancy school. Problem being, if you live in South or West Auckland you can’t go to Grammar, because you are “out of zone”. Rich immigrants and pakeha families with plenty of dosh have little trouble.

Enter African American Terrance Wallace, the star of this affecting featurelength documentary.

His near-death experience on the mean streets of Chicago has evangelised him into some sort of educational superhero. His plan is to get poor brown kids into the zone to give them a leg up. To aid his mission Terrance finds a boarding house owned by a local iwi that’s a stone’s throw from Grammar and starts to fill it up with kids, some of whom go on to great things.

But this is no short-and-sweet Sunday night current affairs romp.

There’s plenty of time to soak up the scale of the challenges that come with Wallace’s vision and to ponder the discrepancies of race, class and real estate.

A two-hour tribute to a man who found his crack and a way to shine a light through it.

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PLUS+ FOOD

Once regarded Auckland’s street of sleaze, Karangahape Rd deserves a much better reputation these days, writes Ewan McDonald

K

arangahape can be translated as the “winding ridge of human activity”. Ever one for subtlety, I won’t follow that train of thought.

It can also be translated as “calling on Hape”, a chief living on Manukau Harbour. This was the route to pay homage to him. That doesn’t fit into this narrative, so we’ll park it, although it’s not always easy to find a park on K Rd. And here’s the point — oh, it’s only the third paragraph, I usually take far longer to make one — if you’ve not been up to K Rd lately, you owe it to yourself to visit.

Over the past two or three years, it’s become a serious rival to Ponsonby Rd as our best eating and imbibing neighbourhood, and those two are streets ahead of anywhere else. By a city mile (okay, you’ve used up your pun quota — Editor).

In the monthly 50, 100, or 63 Restaurants of the Year lists, at least five are sited along the K Rd ridge.

Its website claims you can enjoy the

nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Tuesday, February 19, 2019

On K Road again flavours and delights of 100 eateries from fine dining to Auckland’s edgiest cafes, ethnic restaurants and food courts.

I haven’t researched the numbers.

If you want data journalism, you’ve come to the wrong column.

Thinking of K Rd, several places and more plates come to mind.

Gemmayze St’s dish upon dish of Med-Eastern food; I could die happily after eating there. Coco’s Cantina, Italian food as it should be, all heart

and no fuss. Everyone else likes Cotto; I remain to be convinced.

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eb and I are not great for celebrating our birthday, which falls on the same day, if several years apart, so we let our honorary sister Bridget choose where to mark the occasion.

She selected Carmen Jones, possibly the street’s best site, a historic pub turned cafe next to the motorway overbridge, beside Coco’s Cantina.

Lotsa pavement tables. Funky indoor dining spaces decorated with nostalgic photos of old Istanbul, 50s LP covers, bohemian artworks.

It’s raffish. I like raffish. I like places where people go to catch up and chat and enjoy a cocktail or a wine and eating and just hanging out with their mates.

The menu offers small plates of spicy flavours cooked into hearty meat things and vegetable dishes that beg to be picked up and sampled and

we ask the waiter, “Could we have another of those, please?”

“Those” would include, but not be restricted to, bombas, well described as “crunchy potato bombs” with porkand-fennel filling, smoked paprika aioli and horseradish cream that don’t so much melt as explode in the mouth.

Hummus for Syria is a platter of pulled lamb, tomato and mint salsa, toasted almonds and flatbread, and they get along rather better than the

D13

nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Tuesday, February 19, 2019

From left: Carmen Jones; Apero; Coco’s Cantina; the mezze selection at Gemmayze St. Photos / Rebecca Zephyr Thomas; Jason Oxenham; Dean Purcell

assorted factions in that troubled nation. Order it; profits go to Unicef’s Syria Emergency Appeal.

Three shared two of the larger meals: braised and roasted lamb with haricot beans and spinach-silverbeet pilaf; fall-apart, slow-cooked pork belly with apple flavours and an innovative cauli-leaf and ham terrine.

If you’re looking for a theme for the food, wine, cocktails and vibe, Carmen is an outlandishly romantic tale of doomed love, an 1845 novel

by Prosper Merimee, an 1875 opera

by Bizet, a 1943 Oscar Hammerstein musical and a 1954 movie starring the peerless Harry Belafonte (seen in BlacKkKlansman).

In other words, a bit of this, a lot of that, and a great whole. Claire and Sally Hindmarsh, whose families have given us Caravanserai, Mezze, Lokanta and more, have a winner here. I have been unkind to some of those, but this is an absolute success.

Go there, when boys and girls and

anyone else just wanna have fun.

F

riday is a funny evening: that golden hour or so which can be, “OMG, thank heavens the week’s over, what about pizza?” or “Woo hoo, it’s the weekend, let’s celebrate”.

Bridget and I met at Apero. Yep, K Rd again. Seated in the unfussy, bricked, timbered, welcoming room, wine and cocktail lists at hand, we were definitely in “Woo hoo” territory.

Thing is, as we soon found, you don’t

Over the past two or three years, it’s become a serious rival to Ponsonby Rd as our best eating and imbibing neighbourhood. really need those lists. Front-man and co-owner Ismo — “call me Mo” — Koski and his staff come to your table, listen to your likes and lesser likes, and make suggestions for you. We appreciated that. Friday night. Fewer decisions, the better.

Bridget and I needed food. No, we looked at the menu and we wanted food. Chef-owner Leslie Hottiaux’s food, which is, as it says on the website “uncomplicated, clever and exceedingly moreish.”

There was some debate, but that was because we wanted to cover all the nutritional groups — nibbles, munchies, meaties and sweets.

I could tell you, platter by platter, everything we I ate, and enjoyed. The sensational pork sausage and pickles.

The lamb cassoulet and beans. More.

But I won’t. Because that would simply be reprinting the menu. And that’s not what a memorable evening at an excellent restaurant is about. Go to Apero. Find out for yourself.

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D14

PLUS+ GENERATIONS

nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Tuesday, February 19, 2019

The generation game Learn to love spending time with your adult children and their families, writes Dani Wright

Summer is a good time to focus on family relationships.

Photo / Getty Images

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It gives children a wonderful feeling of safety if they realise the big people are working together.

Jenny Hale (pictured)

to parent.

Spending time doing something together, rather than sitting around the house — or hotel room — will also give you something to talk about other than parenting advice. For example, get into the outdoors and visit a zoo, or go for a hike — anything that gets you all active to get positive endorphins flowing.

Finding common interests, such as enjoying live music or snow sports will give you a closer bond on holiday. And remember to spend time alone with each person in the group — whether it’s taking your son-in-law out for coffee one morning, or spend-

ing some time with your daughter at a day-spa — family holidays are about making connections, not just tuning out.

Trying to book an all-inclusive holiday package will also save some of the financial stress and uncertainty of who is paying for the meals and activities.

If you do sense tension or arguments, suggest going out to do something you each love to do, on your own, and re-grouping at dinner to share stories. For example, you might love museums, while your children love mountain-biking. If you’ve both had a great day doing

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things you like, you’ll be more likely to have positive talk when you get back together.

Another nice idea is to bring a bit of nostalgia into the trip, as long as it’s not at the expense of others in the family. An example is re-visiting a place you and your children explored when they were younger and reminiscing about the experience. Partners and grandchildren may like to explore with you, or give them the option to do something else — it can be nice for them to discover more about a person’s childhood, or it may make them feel left out.

Grandparents may have more time to plan how to run the holiday smoothly, but it’s not all about them making the effort to fit in with their adult children. Adult children can also do things to support grandparents to be part of their families.

“Encourage grandparents to carve out their speciality and have that as their thing,” says Hale. “It might be the teaching of knitting, the cooking, the bike rides, the remote control cars, the special holiday retreats. Also, don’t buy too much stuff for your kids

— leave room for grandparents to shine!”

She also suggests maintaining a respectful attitude to your parents, because children will pick up on any distain or disapproval. It’s not always easy to forget past hurts from childhoods, but try to talk about relationship issues away from listening grandchildren.

“Find ways to stay in touch — whether it is by phone, skype, text or old-fashioned letter writing. It means a lot to grandparents,” says Jenny. “And be appreciative of the help you get. It is easy to take child minding for granted but your thanks and even help with finances if an outing is expensive goes a long way.”

The happiest cultures seem the ones where extended family weave their lives together, so working on these relationships, which Hale says are the most important thing in life, can have a benefit to all involved.

“This connection of children, parents and grandparents can be an amazing gift,” says Jenny. “Being respectful, kind and thoughtful will be amazing attitudes to hold as you navigate this opportunity together.”

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ummer is a great time to spend with adult children and grandchildren. But what if spending time with your adult children and their families is a minefield of possible blow-ups and misunderstandings?

The Parenting Place’s senior family coach Jenny Hale says the thing to remember is that relationships are more important than being right, so it’s worthwhile for everyone to find a good balance of doing things on your own and as a family.

“If you are staying in the same home, it’s good to find out what the routine is and fit in with that,” says Hale. “Ask what you can do to help and sometimes that will look like reading stories, or taking children to the park, and it might also look like buying the takeaways, or helping financially with a special dance class.”

Knowing that even adult children crave the acceptance of their parents, Hale also advises to start conversations by asking them how their lives are going first, and give each other the space to do things in your own ways, without comparison.

“A very limited amount of advice should be offered – if you can wait for an invitation all the better and don’t turn it into a lecture,” suggests Hale.

“Be positive about what you can and how your kids are raising their children. It’s a good idea to be curious – things are done differently in every generation, so allow your children to teach you something.”

And if you’re heading away to visit adult children living abroad, or going on holiday together, you’ll be spending even more time in each other’s pockets. The natural instinct may be to take over as the leader in the family group, but it’s important to support your adult children in what they are doing as parents.

“Definitely don’t try to get grandchildren to side with any parent or grandparent,” says Hale. “It gives children a wonderful feeling of safety if they realise the big people are working together.”

Rather than being the type of grandparent to sneak sugar and salt into your grandchildren’s diet when their parents, who don’t approve of salty or sugary snacks, aren’t looking, instead check in with the “family rules” of the home so you can support your adult children in how they want

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nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Tuesday, February 19, 2019

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nzherald.co.nz | The New Zealand Herald | Tuesday, February 19, 2019