Story Threads

Uncle Benny

Remembering a friend, father, husband, mentor, and advocate Benny Acoba.

By June Bond & Layne Imada Source cited: FANHS Stockton Chapter / June Bond / Article All For One And One For All

With family at his side, Benny passed from this life to eternity on January 7, 2023 from a heart condition. He was 85 years old and the sixth child of Vicente and Margarita Acoba. He is survived by his wife of 51 years, Val Lee Acoba, his daughter, Gwendolyn Moran, and two granddaughters, Hailey and Maeve Moran. Also survived by his son Vincent Acoba, grandchildren Markus Acoba and Marie Davilla, also his sisters Mary Berbano, Lin Compo, Cathy Santini and Tina Hough as well as many nieces and nephews.

People say that time heals all wounds, and as I write this, I can tell you it can. Today, I don’t feel the same pain in my heart that I felt the day I found out Benny had passed. I know he is closer to all of us, that there’s no more distance or time difference that separates us now. I thank you Benny for those years of friendship that you and Val gave me. Thank you for everything that you did for me. I want you to know my friend, that I love you with all my heart and that i’ll always remember you. You will always be Uncle Benny to me and to many others. I think the following quote best sums up who you were: “I shall pass through this world but once, any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now; let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”

Benny Acoba with Roofie and Boots

Acoba Family 1941

“All For One and One For All”

By June Bond

Source cited: FANHS Stockton Chapter

Benny & Val Acoba

Traveling with his father’s brothers, Benny V. Acoba’s parents, Vicente and Margarita Acoba, arrived in Hawaii from Bacara, Illocos Norte in 1928. Soon after, they made their way to California and settled in Lathrop. They were agricultural workers, cutting trees along the Delta levees, picking crops, etc. The sense of team was established early in Benny’s life. The children (Purification, Frank, Betty, Robert, Mary, Benjamin, Arlinda, Tina, and Catherine) were actively involved in family efforts to survive and thrive. It was the norm for them to have chores/responsibilities at home and in the fields. They dutifully sat on farm equipment to stabilize it during turns at the end of each field row and Benny’s early memories include working alongside other Filipino families. A funny memory is filling the Acoba boxes by taking tomatoes from the Inosanto kids’ boxes!

Benny and Val Acoba with Grandchildren

Benny was born on April 13, 1937, in French Camp, CA. In 1939, the family bought five acres in Lathrop. Discriminatory alien land laws prevented his parents from purchasing the property, therefore the land was purchased under his brother’s name, Frank. The family built their home and farm on that land. After school, weekends and summers always included daily responsibilities on the family farm for Benny and his siblings. Until the late 1940’s, early 1950’s, there was no indoor plumbing on the farm, so the family used an outhouse and bathed outside. Benny was responsible for heating the water for the bathhouse. Every evening was spent preparing and crating the vegetables and securely loading the crates on the truck. Their father left daily at 2:30 a.m. to travel to a farmers’ market and various grocery stores.

The students at French Camp Grammar School could choose to attend Manteca or Edison High School. Benny chose to attend Edison/Stockton College, where he participated in track and basketball. He also participated in the city’s United Filipino Youth leagues. After high school, he attended Stockton College, enrolling in the automotive program. He graduated with an A.A. degree in 1953 and decided to continue his college education. However, in 1957, he was drafted into the U.S. Army.

He attended French Camp Grammar School. Notable memories include taking naps in the 1st grade and spitting out and refusing to eat the beans served in the cafeteria. Also, although right-handed, Benny used scissors with his left hand. The teacher tried to change that ability; unfortunately, in those days, there was a bias against left-handedness. A special memory from grammar school is his friendship with Henry, which grew out of a fight challenge from Henry. After the fight, they became best friends and fought all other fights as a team. Daring to challenge one of them would result in fighting both of them!

The initial training was at Fort Ord, Monterey, California. He was then stationed at Fort Sam Houston (San Antonio, Texas). Upon his arrival in San Antonio, the arriving soldiers were grouped as “white” or “colored.” This act of racial discrimination was very confusing for Benny as he had never experienced such actions. He trained to be a medical corpsman and was later transferred to Fort Hood in Houston, Texas. While there, he met a Filipino officer, and they developed a friendship. The friendship included the “bonus” of having adobo dinners at the officer’s home!

Although the Army was relentless in attempts to get Benny to reenlist, he returned to Stockton in 1960. The immediate family, the Trinity Presbyterian Church family, and friends celebrated his return with a big party. Benny never remembered a time that the Trinity Presbyterian Church was not a part of the family’s life.

Benny began work at Sharpe Army Depot in 1963. Given his wide range of knowledge, training and skills, Benny worked in various departments (i.e., print, carpentry, building inspection).

Val entered his life in 1970; she was a “summer hire” at Sharpe. With their marriage in 1971, Team Acoba was created! They have a daughter and two granddaughters.

Benny retired from Sharpe after 34 years and began supporting Val in her teaching assignments by volunteering at the high school. He was on campus so regularly that everyone thought he was a staff member. He worked diligently behind the scenes, applauding her efforts and doing any necessary manual work--preparation, construction, taking down and cleaning up.

After both retired from their “paid jobs,” they kept very busy with volunteer work. For those on the “community event circuit,” it was assumed that Benny and Val Acoba would be in attendance. “Giving back, caring about others, raising awareness, encouraging unity and inclusiveness, service for others,” whatever one uses to describe community volunteerism, the description fits Benny and Val.

Sadly, Benny passed away on January 7, 2023. Fortunately, we have the memory of them graciously and welcoming all who passed and/or approached them. Val is a confident public speaker who “steps up to the mic” whenever asked, and willingly takes charge of events. Reminicent of the sense of team that was developed early in his life, Benny was always there to support and encourage her efforts and address the needs of the community. How fortunate we all are to have experienced Team Acoba!