2017 september ambassador magazine

There comes a time in life when you want to throw up both of your hands and say, "I give up!" Have you ever been there before? If you have I want you to know that you are in great company. Adam wanted to give up after he had missed it in the Garden of Eden; Moses wanted to give up in the wilderness of Zin when the people chided with him and really got on his last nerve; Gideon wanted to give up when God reduced his army against the Midianites; Nehemiah wanted to give up when he looked at the walls of his city and realized that he did not have the money nor the resources to repair them alone; the Widow at Zaraphath wanted to give up because she was economically devastated during the drought and had nothing to eat or drink and no one to run to; the Prodigal Son wanted to give up before he returned home and found himself in a pig pen; and, Jesus wanted to give up in the Garden of Gethsemane before going to the cross!

Hear this my friends, there comes a time in life when you just cannot take it any more and you want to throw your hands up and say, "I give up!" In fact, it is my prayer that there are people that want to give up right now that's reading this devotional. I hope that there is a woman reading this message right now and you have been wanting to give up on your marriage; I hope that there is a college student reading this that's been wanting to give up on school and walk away; I pray that there is a man reading this missive that has been wanting to give up on his family and quit; and, I pray that there is at least one person reading this message from God that has been through so much hell that you have not only thought about giving up, but giving up is your next move! I have great news for you, the God of heaven has prepared you for this moment and there are some things that you must know before you quit that guarantees that your best days are yet to come!

Here's one of the greatest Bible stories ever told of some fisherman who wanted to give up, but the Lord did not let them do it because their best days were ahead of them. Here's what the Bible says, One day as the crowd was pressing in on him to listen to God's word, Jesus was standing by the lake of Gennesaret. He saw two boats lying on the shore, but the fishermen had stepped out of them and were washing their nets. So Jesus got into one of the boats (the one that belonged to Simon) and asked him to push out a little from the shore. Then he sat down and began to teach the crowds from the boat. When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, "Push out into deep water, and lower your nets for a catch." Simon answered, "Master, we have worked hard all night and caught nothing. But if you say so, I'll lower the nets." After the men had done this, they caught so many fish that the nets began to tear. So they signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. They came and filled both boats until the boats began to sink (St. Luke 5:1-7, NIV).

You see, these men were about to give up and call it a wrap just before the greatest day of fishing in their lives happened. But, the Lord had some things that He had to teach them before they gave up. And, I believe that the same lessons that Jesus taught them before they quit are valid and viable for us right now! So what should you know before you give up?

You should know that you are nothing without the Lord! If you can be honest and admit it there have been times in your life when you have done it without God's help, influence or direction and when you did it things failed and went to pieces. Frustration sets in and you reach a

point where you want to give up. You've been there haven't you? There's a man in the passage who understands this dilemma too. Simon Peter was a skilled fisherman. He knew the fishing business. He lived in the region and had fished the waters of this lake many times. In fact, Peter made his living as a fisherman. But this time he works all night and catches nothing. Why? He went without the Lord. Please hear this, anything without God is going to fail. A marriage without God is headed for divorce. A country without God is headed for desolation. A family without God is doomed for destruction. A man without God is headed for hell. A woman without God is a lost cause. A Church without God is a social club. A choir without God is just making noise. A preacher without God is wasting your time. And, anything you do without God is doomed for disaster. Remember this, without God you are nothing, but anything with God is more than enough!

You should know that the Lord does not step in until you have reached your dead end! When you have done all that you know how to do and things have grown worse and not better you can reach a point you really want to throw in the towel. But, don't do it! God has been waiting on you to get here for the longest. I have studied this narrative all of my life. I remember this one from Vacation Bible School. But, I have never ever seen what the Lord showed me while preparing to feed you this week. The last four words of vs. 2 are ".... were washing their nets." And the first three words of verse 3 are "And He entered...� Did you get it? The men were about to put work to an end when Jesus walked in. In other words, Jesus did not show up until they reached a point where they wanted to give up! Here's the question of the year. What takes God so long to show up when you really need Him most? Here's the answer. He would step in quicker if we reached a dead end sooner! Let me ask you a quick question. Have you reached your dead end yet? If you have you should be shouting as you read! When you reach your dead end is when the Savior steps in!

You should know that before you can possess the provision you must live the promise! Remember this, the thought of quitting is the soil that causes your blessings to blossom. When you reach the point of wanting to give up say this to yourself....you ain’t seen nothing yet! God is just getting started!!! Jesus tells the disciples to launch out into the deep and let down their nets for the draught. Here's the problem. They have fished all night long in the shallow water. May I suggest that the problem in the text is our problem to. We live in the shallow end and come out frustrated because we end up empty. But watch this, they go from shallow to deep water on a promise. Here's the shouting news of

the day. They lived the promise to posses the provision! In other words, before they could have it, they had to do it! And when they did it, the Lord let them have it! The reason why you don't want to give up now is because you have some promises that you have not cashed in on just yet! But, you will not get them until you start to live them.

And lastly, you should know that what you have right now is not all that God intended for you to have! Let me be clear here. I do not believe in this Gospel of prosperity that is being preached by many today that is big on sizzle and short on steak. I do not believe that every Christian will have a huge house on a hill and drive a fully loaded Lexus. However, I do believe in a God that can take you from lack to overflow! According to the text Peter was fishing for sardinas or sardines. They were 2 to 3 inches in length. But Jesus was about to bless him with ith-khoos. These were trout that were about 10 to 14 inches in length. Peter was fishing for this size <---------------------->!

When the Lord was trying to bless his entire life with fish this size <------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->! Okay, here's the shout of the day, if you are faithful God is going to do so much in your life that you will need your neighbor to help you with what God is going to do in your life! What Peter experienced before he quit was the overflow!!! Are you ready for yours?

There are two types of people reading this devotional right now. Those who have an overflow and those who need an overflow. For those that have it, share it! Call your neighbors and tell them God has done so much for me that I cannot tell it all! And for those whom need it come out of the shallow water! Live the promise to possess the provision and remember that what you have now is not all that God wants you to have! He wants you to have more!!! Don't give up because the best is yet to come!!!

the first Junior Mission at the church.

After graduating in 1983 from French High School, I went on to Jarvis Christian College and Prairie View A&M University; where I studied Mathematics. Heeding the call to serve my country, I enlisted in the US Army in 1987 full-time.

And after retiring from the US Army, I returned home to help care for my parents. I spent two years teaching Math at West Brook High School; subsequently accepting a position with the United States Postal Service.

In 2003, I experienced the most rewarding gift that any person could have - parenthood. I was a Mother!

In the summer 2010, I visited Antioch with a passion and hunger for more of God and a deep desire to give my son a greater level of training in God than I had! I visited with no intentions of staying, but God had another plan.

We immediately completed new member's orientation and began serving with the H.O.P.E. ministry, Evangelism team, Single Parents' ministry and the youth ministry.

One of the most intriguing changes is the transformation of trust in God as my son grows up. When Malik was a toddler, I trusted God to direct me to train him up. Now as he is an adolescent and teenager I must trust God that Malik will apply all of the training I've given him to make good choices. As I see his independence emerge, I must learn to loosen the "apron strings" for him to become a man. I must trust God that Malik will know that ALL things will work for his good; whether his experiences are good or bad.

I have two favorite scriptures. One is the 8th Psalm; in its entirety. I favor this scripture because it describes and characterizes the excellence of God. My other scripture is Philippians 3:14. This constantly reminds me of the ultimate goal of life. It fuels me through depression, grief, sickness, procrastination and confusion. It's a "DON'T STOP! GET IT. GET IT" scripture for me!

Our family scripture is "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". It enables both of us to set our sights on God's provisions that enable us to do great things. Malik believes he can conquer the world and achieve all that is within his mind to conquer. While my focus enables me to trust God to allow him to make his mistakes without stepping in to rescue him.

I am the youngest of six children, and the only daughter of, Rev. Levi and Julia Williams, Sr. Four of my older brothers serve as Pastors. As a young girl, I fell in love with and adored Jesus Christ under the leadership of Dr. William Nelson McCarty at Starlight Missionary Baptist Church. I accepted Christ as my Savior and began to serve with youth and young adult ushers, choir, the Welcome Committee, and the church band. My music lessons in piano and organ helped prepare me to serve as youth musician too.

As a single mother of an African American male I have struggled with describing the depth of the perils of being an endangered species. Also, I've struggled with being the disciplinarian; while wanting to spoil him rotten. God has taught me to balance the discipline and mix it with love sprinkled rewards.

Having the foresight and vision to know that God was using this to plant seeds for generation, as a young adult I started

So often, the struggles are made easier as God has brought us closer within the last year. My brother passed in August 2015 and my Father passed in September; that made Malik and I even closer. You see, Malik had lost the only "Father" he has ever known, my Dad. These are the difficult days; but God deepens our bond during these difficult times.

Over the years, he has shown maturity, patience and deep compassion for the health issues I've faced. He cares for me during any crisis truly shows his deep love.

He is a very wise young man. His gift of wisdom has created a stirring in me and altered the trajectory of my life. God has used him to speak to my heart to move me into a closer relationship with Him. He's very articulate and knowledgeable about a variety of subjects. Plus he’s quite a comedian too!!!!! His hobbies are basketball, video games, traveling, and marine biology.

My hobbies are reading, helping others, cooking, traveling, and visiting various zoos.

I hold a Bachelors of Science in Human Resource Management degree from Lamar University. Currently, I'm working on a Master of Divinity from Grace School of Theology.

Malik has been promoted to eight grade at Odom Middle School. He is in the Pegasus and Honors program. He has attended the Exxon Mobil Science Camp at Lamar University. He also was selected for a national science awards.

During my life, I have seen God at work when I didn't understand where I was nor who I was! Many times the Lord showed me that He would never leave me nor forsake me. He taught me that I could count on Him when everything else would fail.

If I had to advise a single parent I would say to them that God fills in what we lack.

So many times I felt as though I was depriving Malik of a full experience of family.

However, God has sent men into his life to affirm him, to challenge him, to guide him and to tell him, one day, that he is a man!! Not only has He sent men; but God has sent Malik some dynamic Godmothers, Nanny Tonia, Nanny Skeet and Nana. They help to love, nurture, discipline and spoil him. So whatever you lack, God's got it!!

Also, I intentionally set times to pray! Not only do I have devotional times, I will also have times set where I am able to go into the presence of God for some intimate time whether it's a walk by the river as I pray, laying on my floor and crying out to the Lord, or sitting on a blanket in the park reading my bible and listening to His voice. However, I am still working through managing my time and balancing the demands of my life, a teenager and ministry.

I am an active member of The American Legion Dorie E. Miller Post 817; as a leader. I was appointed as the Chaplain for the state of Texas in 2014-2015; where I served over 40,000 veterans and their spiritual needs. Truly, it was an honor for such a prestigious appointment to provide spiritual oversight within Texas. During that time, I implemented a “Back to God” service where each local was post was encouraged to spend one Sunday per quarter in fellowship with each other at a members’ church.

It is my sincerest prayer others will come to know Christ as their Lord and Savior; thereby changing the course of their lives for generations. It is also my prayer to provoke others to walk closer to God and that my legacy will be one of perseverance where others will "press toward the mark of the higher calling of God".

DON'T STOP! GET IT; GET IT!!

One of the best ways you can prepare your children this year as they go back to school is through prayer.

And praying Scripture over them is one of the most powerful ways to pray. Here are five back to school

their thoughts and actions pure and motivated by love. Guard them from

prayers you can pray for your kids and grandkids:

temptation, and let them know You are always faithful to give them a way out and help to endure. May the words of their mouths and the meditations of their hearts

* Prayers for Peace (Isaiah 26:3; Philippians 4:6-7;

always please you and edify others.

Romans 5:1).

Lord, I pray that my kids (grandkids) Your Child’s Name

* Prayers for Passion (Psalm 42:1; Matthew 22:37-39; John 13:34-35)

will experience the peace of God this year that exceeds

Lord, I pray that my kids (grandkids) will develop a passion for the things of God. I

all understanding. I pray they will not worry about

pray they will hunger and thirst for You and Your Word and will love You with all of

things they cannot control, but that You will guard their

their heart, soul, and mind. Give them compassionate and generous hearts to love

hearts and minds and keep them trusting in You. I pray

others as much as You love them. I pray they will always work and study with

they will not only enjoy the peace of God, but peace

excellence, but that You will help them desire a servant spirit of greatness, rather

with God. I pray they will develop a spirit of gratitude

than a worldly lust for success. I pray they will fall in love with Jesus over and over

and thanksgiving as they look to You daily for their

again.

needs. I pray that You will give them the capacity for joy that bubbles up from Your peace.

* Prayers for Perspective (Galatians 2:20; Matthew 28:18-20; Philippians 1:21; Colossians 3:1-2; Ephesians 3:17-20)

* Prayers for Protection (2 Thessalonians 3:3;

Lord, I pray that my kids (grandkids) will develop an eternal perspective and

Psalm 46:1; John 17:15; Psalm 91)

purpose, not an earthly one. Help them to see life–and every challenge–through

Lord, I pray Your emotional, physical, and spiritual

Your eyes, eager and unafraid to share with others the good news of Jesus

protection over my kids (grandkids). Keep evil far from

wherever they go. I pray that they will set their minds on things above, not just

them, and help them to trust You as their refuge and

what’s going on here, and that they will be rooted and grounded in Your love. I pray

strength. I pray You will guard their minds

they will come to understand the extent of Your own love for them–that it

from harmful instruction, and grant them discernment

surpasses all the head knowledge they will acquire in school. I pray they will be

to recognize truth. I pray You will make them strong

filled up with You from morning ’til night.

and courageous in the presence of danger, recognizing that You have overcome and will set right all injustice

Other Prayers for Your Kids

and wrong one day. Help them to find rest in Your

These are only sample prayers, and hopefully easy ones to remember. They are by

shadow, as they live in the spiritual shelter You provide

no means exhaustive. Find your own Scripture promise or principle and pray those

for them. Let them know that the only safe place is in

things daily for your kids or grandkids. But don’t confine your praying to the first

Jesus, and that their home on earth is only temporary.

few weeks of school. Your children and grandchildren need your prayers all year long–as long as you or they live. It’s the best protection You can give Your children

* Prayers for Purity (Psalm 51:10; Matthew 5:8; 1

or grandchildren! When we pray Scripture, God listens! And we can always know

Timothy 1:5; 1 Corinthians 10:13; Psalm 19:14)

those prayers are in His will.

Lord, I pray that You will create in my kids (grandkids) call their name(s) a clean heart and that You would

It’s Your Turn

constantly renew a right spirit within them, keeping

What will you pray for your kids (grandkids) as they go back to school?

There’s a ministry here for you! Get up, Get Active, Get Involved! Join a ministry TODAY!

SINGLES PARENTS’ MINISTRY   

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Special thanks to Lindsay J. Seale, Alexandrew Seal and Kristin Poullard Thibeaux for their donations to help four single parents who needed a ” hand up”.

Parents were reminded of the upcoming Women Of Purpose 3rd Annual Retreat sponsored by Minister Kim Hardy. This year's theme is "The Power Of A Flower."

The Single Parents’Ministry met Monday, August 8, 2016 for the monthly fellowship. Our guest speaker was Mr. Kareem Nelson who spoke to us about God's Purpose For Our Life and how it's all part of the process. Mr. Nelson used the illustration of learning how to tie a necktie and how it's a process and it takes time to get it perfect. Mr. Nelson concluded by sharing his "But God" testimony about his professional struggles which ultimately lead to his recent promotion to Assistant Principal at a local school within Beaumont Independent School District. Our fellowship concluded with praise reports and prayer requests. Parents received care packages and children received school supplies and electronic handheld Bibles. Each person received a "Don't Panic Use The Key" lanyard.. Special thanks to Ruth Bryant for the taco meal, pastries, juice, water and school supplies. Thank you to Sheilah Moss for her regular contributions to help others.

The next Single Parents' Monthly Fellowship is Monday, September 12, 2016, in Fellowship Hall A, Antioch Missionary Baptist Church at 6:30 pm - 8:00 pm. Please bring the children with you to the ministry fellowship as it is so necessary that they witness our Love for God. You do not need to be a member of Antioch to participate in this fellowship. If you have any questions, please contact Mary Simon, Ministry Leader at mrysim@sbcglobal.net or via Facebook or any other parent who is actively involved in the ministry.

PRISON-OUTREACH MINISTRY Let the Lord be magnified, which takes pleasure in the prosperity of his servants! (Psalms 35-27) 

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Brief praise report of what God is doing behind Prison Walls!! On July 10, 2016, the Prison-Outreach and the Evangelism Team handed out over 40 toiletry gift packages to the inner city brothers and sisters at Weiss Park.

There were several that received prayer for healing and salvation.

On July 16, 2016, the Prison Ministry team traveled to Dayton, Texas Planes Unit ( women’s prison). There was over 250 women in attendance; 25 first-time salvations. Over 200 women received prayer for healing, deliverance, and family.

On August 2, 2016, the Prison Ministry team held Worship Service for the men at the Federal Medium Complex here in Beaumont. There was over 15 men that received prayer for generational curses to be broken over family and sons! To God be the Glory!!

Please continue to pray for the Prison Ministry Team as we bring the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the men and women behind the Prison Walls!

THE PRISON-OUTREACH UPCOMING EVENTS FOR SEPTEMBER 2016  September 11, 2016- 2:00- 4:00 PM- Weiss Park- Feeding Inner City Brothers and Sisters ( Worship and Word)  September 17, 2016- 3:00- 4:30 PM- Planes Unit ( Women) Dayton, Texas ( Worship Service)  Jefferson County Jail and Local State Prisons Visitation ( Upon Request) If you have any questions regarding Prison-Outreach Ministry or to request inmate visit, please contact Rev. Albert Chargois at 409- 861-1277- HM/ 409-201-1216- Cell or email albertchargois@sbcglobal.net

GOLDEN YEARS’ MINISTRY 

All members who are 55+ or anyone who likes to fellowship with mature adults are invited to join us. Meetings are the 1st Monday of each month at 1pm. We are planning many interesting and informative activities.

GREETERS’ MINISTRY 

The Greeters’ Ministry meeting will be xxxxx xx Monday night September 12th @ 6 pm. We will discuss important information about the church anniversary and also celebrate quarterly birthdays of greeters. Do not forget to bring your favorite dish. Additionally, our holiday social will be discussed. Deadline donation for social is fast approaching. Happy Labor Day Weekend to all. Blessings to all. Deaconess Will Etta Anderson, Ministry Leader.

2 Corinthians 12:9 declares “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness…” and I must admit that I have fallen in love with this scripture and it is on the top of my favorites list. Although many trials and tribulations caused me to not be able to truly feel that His grace was always sufficient for me during those seasons of testing, I must admit that I now know better.

My name is Shamarian Demetrius Bradley affectionately known as Shaye. I was born in Liberty, Texas to the late Mr. Freddie Bradley and Mrs. Ruby Lee Bradley. My father passed away five months after I was born and my mother became a single parent with two kids to raise on her own. Five years later a bad relationship produced a third child and no marriage. As a single mother of three, my mother did her very best to make sure that we had everything we needed and even some of the things we wanted. She worked extremely hard to be a living example of what it meant to put God first in your life. She didn’t just send us to church but she went along with us. I still get tickled remembering momma in the kitchen on some mornings singing songs unto God. I often told her “Momma, please don’t sing because your singing is horrible.”

She would laugh and agree with me but would quickly say “Dee, God knows my heart and that is what really matters.”

What I wouldn’t do to hear her singing one of those old 100’s right now. I am extremely grateful to God that he blessed my life with a single mom who chose to live for Him.

Although my mother did her very best to protect me when I was a child, there were many things that I had to experience that caused me much pain and sorrow. You see, I have always been overweight and as a child I learned firsthand what it felt like to be a victim of low self-esteem. When you are teased on a daily basis for being too fat, for having short hair and for being what “they” called ugly; you tend to allow others to confine you because they have defined you. This struggle definitely didn’t stop because I got older. In fact it got worse because all of my pain carried over into my adulthood.

Low self-esteem will make you overcompensate in different areas of your life. And I must admit because I didn’t know who I was, overcompensation was a part of my game. I became a people pleaser and I tried to do everything in my power to make sure that others were happy. The sad part about it was that no matter how much I did for them they still treated me the same way. Because I was so dependent on what others thought I began to self medicate myself with alcohol, partying and sex. Here is the real truth, once the moment was over the pain was still there. But here is a wonderful testimony for you, God knew me!! Jeremiah 29:11 reads “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord.

“Plans to prosper & not harm you, plans for a hope & a future.” God knew that at His appointed time the story would change.

I remember running home to tell my husband about this beautiful little girl. He was so excited about her because of my excitement that the next day he brought both of us lunch and he took the opportunity to meet her. Within the next three months we had gone to CPS took our classes and were preparing our home to become Jasmine’s foster parents. I remember like it was yesterday the very phone call that came in from Tiffany, the case worker, to tell us that they were on the way to our residence. We cried, we laughed, we prayed and we notified all of our friends. She was very familiar with both of us because we prepped her with weekend visits and other time spent together before she moved in. Her room was full of toys and things that she loved. I was so grateful to God to have the opportunity to share my love with such a beautiful gift from heaven above. Her first birthday with us was her 7th birthday. You could have sworn that this was the child of a celebrity. People were everywhere and gifts flowed from wall to wall. Our friends and families welcomed her into our family with so much love.

At the age of 21, while attending a party, I met and fell in love with my ex-husband. Without going into much detail, he was amazing to me. We fell in love immediately and there was no doubt in my mind that he and I would be together for the rest of our lives. We moved in together after only a few short months and were married within a year. We began immediately talking about having a baby. Growing up I experienced several female problems and during this time they were still horrible problems for me. After several visits to doctors all over, we found out that there was a very slim chance that I would ever be able to have a child. My exhusband was blessed to be the father of 3 boys from a previous marriage but he definitely wanted more children.

This was something that hit me once again with self-esteem issues. We made up in our minds to just continue on the journey of our marriage without trying any further treatments.

I was like the woman with the issue of blood. I had no more money and I had gone to every physician I could think of with no good results. But as I said before, God had a plan.

While working at the local Elementary School as a teacher’s aide it happened. On this beautiful sunny day, I was assigned to track and field day. My assignment was to take the classes to and from the field events. While taking my second class out for the events I met her. I just happened to look up in the stands and there was the most beautiful little girl with reddish brown skin and brown hair that was a little blonde around the edges of her face. I thought it was very strange that this little African American girl was sitting in a Caucasian lady’s lap. I guess I was starring at them because the lady spoke to me and I immediately told her how beautiful this child was to me. The little girl smiled and buried her head so that I could not see her face anymore. We all giggled and it was as if I was star struck.

As I was about to walk away the lady said to me “Why don’t you adopt her, she is in foster care with CPS?” My heart dropped and I asked her the child’s name. She told me her name was Jasmine.

The first couple of years were amazing. We were awesome parents and she was a wonderful daughter. I walked into work one morning and was met by several of my co-workers who handed me a Walgreens bag. They told me that inside the bag was a pregnancy test and that I needed to take it. I was like what in the world are you guys talking about? They explained to me that my moods were horrible and that I was extremely serious about eating my sandwich for breakfast every day. I hadn’t really noticed this but I quickly recalled the argument my ex-husband and I had a few nights prior because I jumped out of bed at 1 o’clock in the morning heading to Wal-Mart to get pickles for my sandwich for the next morning. When I arrived home that night after dinner I took the test and they were ever so right, we were expecting. A doctor’s visit confirmed that I was two months along. We were beyond excited and we couldn’t wait to share the news with Jasmine that she was going to be a big sister. She was elated and talked about it for days.

Although my mother did her very best to protect me when I was a child, there were many things that I had to experience that caused me much pain and sorrow.

I recall rushing to tell my Godmother about my news and she just sat there for a minute and then she looked at me and said “don’t tell anyone just yet.” Now you must know that I was immediately offended by this and just walked away from her.

How could she tell me not to say anything about something that I was so important to me? Let me just add this right here!

My Godmother was extremely close to God and she was and still is very serious about her walk. I learned a valuable lesson from her regarding this experience. It was a few weeks later while getting my hair done that it happened. I had a miscarriage.

My Godmother told me that God had shown her that this baby would not make it. I was devastated. How could God take from me the very thing that I wanted so badly? I remember being so frustrated with Him about this. I went through a very hard time. I didn’t want to deal with my ex-husband because I blamed him for stressing me out and I didn’t want to deal with Jasmine at all. I know that is very cruel to say but there was something going on in my mind that wasn’t connecting with her at this moment. I have to give my ex-husband credit because during this time he stepped up his game and she never knew that I was being distant from her. It took lots of prayer to get me back to the place where I could reach out to God for assistance. My ex and I began to have problems because he wanted me to try again immediately and I was not ready to deal with this kind of pain again so soon.

We were now four years into our marriage and things began to spiral out of control. We were struggling financially because my ex-husband was trying to develop his own personal business without any other resources coming in with the exception of my check from the doctor’s office, which barely paid all of the bills.

I took another part-time job as a ticket cashier for the event center and I was also making cakes on the side as well. During this time he began to drink heavily. Now, we both drank alcohol but, his drinking was getting out of control. There were times when he would pick fights with me and not even remember the next day. I would be so very upset about it because I didn’t want my daughter to experience this type of foolishness. Enough was enough when I ended up with a gun in my face and my entire life flashing before my eyes. The next morning I asked him to leave. Looking back at this situation I now understand that I allowed the enemy to win. Had I known God then the way I know Him now, I would have given the enemy a run for his money and allowed him to see that he wasn’t going to have my family.

The divorce was final and my daughter and I moved forward with our lives. Because there were issues with Jasmine’s parents not signing their parental rights over, the adoption was taking an even longer process than we expected. But the paperwork didn’t tell me I was her mother, the love in my heart did. Jasmine began to act out in school and with everything that I was going through with the loss of my marriage, my house and so many other things, we began to have major issues. Jasmine became very rebellious and I began drinking once again, this time much worse. I was at the school every other day because she was skipping class and having behavior that was just unacceptable. CPS was contacted and I didn’t fight for her. This is still very painful for me but by the grace of God, He will continue to heal me of this pain. I let her go back into the system.

It is a very true statement that “hurting people hurt people.”

Once again I found myself trying to self medicate. In the beginning I would go to see her at the group home and then my visits became fewer and fewer. My mother was devastated and I heard it from her every single day. But I was on a rollercoaster leading to some place extremely bad rather quickly. Jasmine was moved out of the group home and placed in another foster home in another city and it would be years later before I heard from her again.

During this time I reached my all time low. I was drinking and partying and hopping from one bed to the next. I was basically trying to find something or someone to fulfill my emptiness. To put the cherry on top, my brother, who had always been my rock, passed away. I was on the verge of losing my job and my mind all at the same time. My mom begged for me to get help and God allowed me to respond to her plea. If I didn’t get help, there is no telling where I would have ended up. I requested assistance from my Godmother to help me find someone to help me and that’s when she led me to a Christian Counselor.

After several sessions and much prayer my life changed for the better. I was open to receive all that God had for me and I was open to doing what He planned for my life. I accepted my call to Minister the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It was during this time the lessons of my own single mother began to change me. You see, my mother taught me some very valuable lessons. I thought these lessons were just things she learned and wanted to instill in me. But when I grew in Christ I began to realize that these very lessons were based on God’s Holy Word. However, momma wrapped them in love like any excellent momma would do. Allow me to share three of the valuable things my mother taught with me:

1. Momma would say “Put that down, that’s too heavy for you.” Momma would explain that some of the things we carry in life were not meant for us to carry. She would always tell me “Baby, don’t worry about the things you can’t change. You have to let God handle it. The situations that were going on in my life at this very moment were entirely too heavy for me to handle. 1 Peter 5:7 taught me to cast all of my cares upon Him because God truly cares for me. Mother wanted me to understand that the death of my brother, the fact that my daughter was no longer with me and everything else that was going on in my life was entirely too much for me to handle but it was nothing that God couldn’t handle.

2. Momma told me “Don’t ever say that you can’t because can’t never could.” My mother was my number one encourager in the world. She would always take the time to tell me that I could do anything I put my mind to.

When I was at my lowest point as a single mother this very lesson would ring in my ear. Even after Jasmine was gone I told myself over and over that I would find a way to get her back. And just as my mother told me, God said in Philippians 4:13 that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I watched this powerful woman even in the midst of failure, get up and try over and over until she accomplished the task at hand. In subtle ways mom strengthened me and taught me the sufficiency of God’s amazing grace.

3. The final lesson I would like to share from momma wasn’t put to me in a cute little clique. Momma taught me that “God is MORE THAN ABLE.” I can remember her hands being raised every time we were in church and someone would say that God was able. It was if momma knew something about Gods ability. It wasn’t until I was a single mother trying to make ends meet that I truly understood. You see I understood what it was like when momma took a chicken and made a “long” gravy and fed mouths for days. Then when there was more gravy than meat, I understood that momma added some rice and a few other ingredients and call it a Goulash that she could fool everybody in the house because we thought it was an entirely different meal. I understood what it meant when momma would take a stack of bills and placed them in front of her while she bowed on her knees to pray. I can’t tell you where the money came from but I can tell you that the water stayed on, the lights were bright and we had heat when it was cold.

Momma wanted me to grasp the fact that just as it is written in Ephesians 3:20 that God could do exceedingly, abundantly, and above all that we can ask, hope or think.

When I began to apply these lessons to my life, God caused blessings to overtake me. As I was sitting at my desk one day a phone call came in from my best friend’s sister. She told me

that she knew where Jasmine was located and she was sure that she could get her phone number. Tears flowed from my face like a running faucet as she asked me to hold for just a moment. The next voice I heard sent me to the floor. It was my baby. I screamed and cried as if I had hit the lottery. It was the sweetest sound I would ever hear in my life. Jasmine and I were both in tears. She told me that she would call me after work because she had to get back to class.

This opened the door for our relationship to be restored. God allowed my friend’s sister to be in the right place at the right time. I was able to attend Jasmine’s High School graduation and get her prepared to attend college. I must admit our relationship was like driving a car with a cracked windshield. At times things were perfectly clear but if we moved in the wrong direction we had issues seeing properly. This went on for years.

We would talk at times and then there were times when we didn’t. I said and did things to hurt her and she said and did things to hurt me. We didn’t realize that we were both struggling with un-forgiveness. Although it hadn’t been voiced, we were both allowing grudges, and hatred because of past hurts to cause our relationship to be like a revolving door.

Some days were good and other days were bad.

My daughter ended up becoming a single mother of my beautiful grandbaby Ms. Gabrielle. Now I am not saying that having a child out of wedlock was the right thing to do but I am saying that God works all things out for our good. This baby girl came into our lives and caused us to open our eyes to what truly heals and that is love. The stronger I grew in Christ the more I understood His love and His saving grace. Becoming a mother allowed Jasmine to understand that the lessons I was trying to teach her were not just because I wanted to run her life. But these very lessons were the same lessons that came from my mother but were ordained by God. I stopped trying to correct all of the things I did wrong and I learned to walk in forgiveness. I came to the realization that I needed to step back and own up to the things that I had done wrong. Often times we don’t want to admit when we have made mistakes. We tend to sweep things under the rug and although we can see the lump of trash under the rug we don’t want to sweep it up. I am very pleased to say that because of my God ordained messages given to me by my mother, my daughter and I are working on building a fantastic relationship.

God allowed the love in my heart that was there in the very beginning to take over every wrong, every ill feeling, and He has restored joy like never before. It was the powerful lessons from my wonderful mother that were ordained by God that taught me to put my total dependency in Christ Jesus because in Him there is no failure.

My favorite Bible scripture continues to remind me how faithful God was to me during all of this. It is found in Lamentations 3:22 and it declares “It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.”

In honor and loving memory of Mrs. Ruby Lee Bradley