How to be made redundant (and own it) by anotherdoor

Supporting you from shock to thriving

“When one door closes, another door opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”

it happens, it happens a lot. You are not alone. It has happened to you, so now it’s time to take control. What happens now is up to you. This is an opportunity. When was the last time you thought about your life, what you are doing, why you do what you do, what you want to do. Life stu . Now is the moment. Take control. Working through the ﬁve stages of shock, stuck, slow slow go, unstuck and thrive will help you to accept what has happened, see the opportunity, explore what you want to do, and take action to make it work for you.

Alexander Graham Bell

Curve Ball Curve “Life is under no obligation to give us what we expect.”

Life has been interrupted. You thought it was heading in a certain direction, now things feel uncertain. Your future is unknown. Accepting the shock of the news of redundancy is the ﬁrst step to moving on. It’s ok not to feel to ok about it. It’s ok to feel many di erent emotions all at once. Tune into to how you are feeling and give yourself space to be shocked.

Margaret Mitchell (Author, Gone with the Wind) How are you feeling? It’s ok to feel a lot of di erent emotions I’M HOPEFUL I’M ANGRY I’M SAD I’MBETTERFEELINGI’MANXIOUSI’MEXCITED I’M BLANKI’M CONFUSEDI’MCONFIDENTI’MFEELING OKAY I’M WORRIED

When life gives you a curve ball, you start to meander, small curves break away from the main curve, they loop around, they cause landslides, they then calm and become slow moving beautiful streams innocently heading o to meet the sea, and then they hit rocks again, splash around, hope for a dry day so things can regroup. This is the Curve Ball Curve. Never will you feel so many emotions in one month, week, day, hour – hope, anger, grief, delight, relief, terror, optimism, fear. This is the Curve Ball Curve. Not so much of a curve as a tangled ball of string, unravelling everywhere, getting into a knot and tripping people up, especially yourself. How are you feeling today? Tune into your feelings each day. Don’t ignore your feelings. Talk about it. Give yourself space. Go for a walk. Breathe. You need time to process what has happened.

YACTIVE INACTIVE EATWELL SLEEPWELL

“When we worry it’s like the engine of our mind is constantly being revved up. Worry and anxiety don’t allow us time to switch off and rest. They don’t allow us time to enjoy the journey” Paul McGee, How not to worry

It’s okay to wallow...a bit You are in shock. Give your self space to think. Work on developing the feeling of hope, which will lead to optimism, which will lead to being open to possibili ties. Hope will keep you going, even when it feels hard, through the tough days, through the days when you get rejections, feel like you are failing, feel like it’s hopeless – you can always keep the hopeful candle burning.Youcan feel a bit sorry for yourself You can have you time Do one thing each day to look after yourself Look after yourself

You’ve accepted the shock. But now you feel stuck. You aren’t sure what to do next. The feeling of being stuck is a great moment. It means you are ready to move on. The feeling of being stuck means you are open to possibilities, ready to make things happen, you know change has to happen. So embrace the feeling of being stuck. The space in-between a door closing and your next door opening can be fun, it can be full of discovery and opportunity. Be curious, be open and see where it takes you.

Your Life Priority Wheel When you read each headline, what thoughts, comments, activities come up in each one? Where do you spend your most time? Rank each question (1 – most time 10 – least time) Where do you want to spend your most time? Rank each question (1 – most time 10 – least time) This is now your ‘Priority List’ What can you do to start to change things? Think of 1 – 5 things you can start today EXAMPLE - HAVE ALL MY FINANCES IN ORDER - REALLY NEED TO SORT OUT PENSION - TOO MUCH DEBT - NEED TO EAT BETTER - KEEP UP MY RUNNING HEALTH SELFWELLBEING&GROWTH&LEARNING CAREER & RELATIONSHIPSFRIENDS,FAMILY,ENVIRONMENTWORK&LOCATIONSPIRITUALITY,COMMUNITY,RECREATIONWEALTH&FINANCE YOU HEALTH SELFWELLBEING&GROWTH&LEARNING CAREER & RELATIONSHIPSFRIENDS,FAMILY,ENVIRONMENTWORK&LOCATIONSPIRITUALITY,COMMUNITY,RECREATIONWEALTH&FINANCE YOU - SPEND NO TIME DEVELOPING MYSELF - FINISH MY SPORTS COACHING COURSE-VOLUNTEER AT LOCAL SHELTER - HELP OUT LOCAL CRICKET TEAM - PART OF THE RUNNING CLUB - WANT TO FIND NEW LOVE - WANT TO SEE MORE OF FRIENDS-WANT TO LIVE CLOSER TO FAMILY - NEED TO MOVE INTO SCHOOL CATCHMENT - WANT TO MOVE TO THE COUNTRYSIDE - WORKED SAME JOB FOR 20 YEARS - WANT TO CHANGE CAREER - NEED MORE FLEXIBILITY - WANT TO EARN MORE MONEY - SPEND ALL MY TIME HERE - RIGHT NOW, I AM LONELY, LOST BUT HOPEFUL As well as thinking about where you are now, now is the time to think about the future. Have you ever thought about what you’d like your life to be like in 10 years time? WHAT HOLDS YOU BACK FROM LIVING THAT WAY NOW? FEARSKILLSMONEYYOUCIRCUMSTANCESIn 10 years time…. WhereAge are you? Who are you with? What are you doing? What are you thinking? How are you feeling? 7

you

Think

Get

STUCK Go freelance Go interim Go contracting Go Startconsultingasidehustle

YOU HAVE CHOICES

Stick: to what you know, your expertise, try to upgrade your circumstances, promotion, location, salary, ﬂexible working.

Bust: time for something completely new, way out of comfort zone, learning new stu but following a passion. world of options & opportunities a job Get a job, same as last one a job, better than last one Get a job, side step into something di erent Change job you feel stuck it’s the moment feel ready for change. about who you are, why you do what you do, what are you prioritising, are you happy with your life balance? What do you want to do? Stick, Twist or Bust? Enjoy this time to explore possibilities. Keep open. Keep curious.

When

Set up an online business Open a shop Launch a new service Run Turnworkshopsyourhobby into your job Retrain

Twist: use your expertise but in a di erent way, interim work, contractor, facilitator, trainer, teach, freelance.

Right now you have choices. That should feel empowering. It should feel exciting. Like there are exciting things ahead. Choices can feel overwhelming. So let’s simplify this a bit. You have three choices. You can decide whether to stick, twist or bust.

Get

Diane von Furstenberg, fashion designer Write down the one thing you really really want and why.

“Clarity is the most important thing. I can compare clarity to pruning in gardening. You need to cut it all back to then flourish again. You need to be clear. If you are not clear, nothing is going to happen. You have to be clear. Then you have to be confident. And after that, you just have to put a lot of work in.”

CREATE A TRIBE 1. MAKE A PLAN Your what and your why MIND MAP YOUR IDEAS YOUR WHY AND YOUR WHAT MIND MAP PRIORITISEAND BEINGPRIORITISEASWOT SMALL STEPSACHIEVABLE PUT (WHAT YOU WANT TO DO) HERE IDEASIDEASIDEASIDEASIDEASIDEAS 12 STEP 1 STEP 2 STEP 3 STEP 4

A PLAN

where to start... Be clear on your what and your -why.Mind map all your ideas and prioritise them. Take small achievable steps –chose 3 things you can do today to move forward. Scribble all your ideas about how you can make it happen. Hold nothing back. No boundaries here. What do you want to do? Why do you want to do it? What do you expect to get from it? How do you feel about this? What will stop you achieving it? What will help you?

- Be aware of the people around you – are they helping or holding you back? - Create a tribe who help you along, inspire you, role model and share their learnings. Identify the help you need to progress - Know who you are, what you stand for, why you are passionate about what you do. - In 3 sentences describe what you want to do, and why. - Start telling your story – talk to people, write about it, post about it. Now you have a view on what you want to do you can create a plan of action and begin to take steps towards a goal. Becoming unstuck is about taking action. Intentional action that focuses your energy on the things that will get you results. You’ve done the thinking, now it’s about taking time to plan. Plan your way to success. Think about making your story work hard for you. And surround yourself with people who will help you along. MAKE 2. YOUR STORY 3.

CREATE

Take tiny steps to help you move forward.

STRENGTHS (CONFIDENCE)

WHOAREYOU WHATSAYYOU WHATDOYOU WHAT YOU STAND FOR

The ideas you will ﬁnd easy to do, your expertise, in your comfort zone OPPORTUNITIES (POSSIBILITIES)

Be a SWOT TINY STEPS 2. YOUR STORY

Knowing your story will build your conﬁdence, help you be more intentional and help you achieve your goals. Spend some time getting to know yourself. It will help you tell your story at interviews, client pitches, networking events, develop your CV. Who are you? What do you stand for? What are your values? What do you want to be known for? How can you help people? What are your proudest moments / Whatachievements?areyoureally good at? What are your life goals? group the ideas - Focus on Strengths ideas - Choose 2 Weaknesses to work on -developingChoose2 Opportunities to try - Park the Threats (but don’t get rid of them… things might change)

- Now

The ideas that aren’t in your comfort zone but you are willing to try

List 5 small steps you can do this week that will help you move forward.

WEAKNESSES (CONCERNS)

The ideas you like but don’t feel its what you know or what you are good at THREATS (BARRIERS)

The ideas that you aren't ready for

WHO ARE YOU SPENDING TIME WITH? ARE THEY SUPPORTERS? ARE THEY GIVING OR TAKING? WHO ARE THE ENERGY SOURCES?

It's important to be in circles of people who are going to help you along, be role models, be sounding boards, be an ear, will understand what you are trying to do. NOT BE YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY BE PEOPLE FROMLONGLONG,AGO MIGHT NOT KNOW THEM RIGHT NOW CREATE A TRIBE IT CROWD

MIGHT

Who are your 'it' crowd - no not your IT help desk crew, although they might be useful - your ' it' crowd are the people who get 'it'. They give you energy, you give them energy.

Tom Peters

MIGHT

YOUR

“Regardless of age, regardless of position, regardless of the (situation) we happen to be in, all of us need to understand the importance of branding. We are CEOs of our own companies: Me Inc. Our most important job is to be head marketer for the brand called You.”

Surround yourself with people who get it support it and cheer it on Your (Get) IT crowd Who are the people who get it and support you?

That doesn’t excuse or take away the pain of being made redundant. When people talk about it ‘being the best thing that ever happened’ they tend to miss out the soul searching, and reﬂection, and curve balls they had to go through to get there.

I’M EITHER GOOD AT IT, OR I’M NOT. WHEN I’M FRUSTRATED, I GIVE UP. I DON’T LIKE TO BE CHALLENGED. WHEN I FAIL, I’M NO GOOD. TELL ME I’M SMART. IF YOU SUCCEED, I FEEL THREATENED. MY ABILITIES DETERMINE EVERYTHING. 16

The great news is that if you let yourself go through these ﬁve stages and relish everything each stage has to o er, including the lows and highs, then you will come out of the other end ready to take on the Beingworld…made

What is your ideal scenario? If everything could fall in place and all come together, what would this time next year look like?

redundant isn’t a great experience, but with some self-indulgence in the right areas, some action for the right reasons you can make this become a good thing that happened to you.

I CAN LEARN ANYTHING I WANT TO. WHEN I’M FRUSTRATED, I PERSEVERE. I WANT TO CHALLENGE MYSELF. WHEN I FAIL, I LEARN. TELL ME I TRY HARD. IF YOU SUCCEED, I’M INSPIRED MY EFFORT AND ATTITUDE DETERMINE EVERYTHING.

Carol Dweck talks about two mindsets. You have to work on your growth mindset to achieve your Whatgoals. mindset do you think you have right now? What can you work on? CREATE THE RIGHT MINDSET TO GET YOU GTHEREROWTH VS FIXED MINDSET DO YOU HAVE THE MINDSET TO THRIVE? MINDSETGROWTH MINDSETFIXED

You are ready to thrive. To face your fears. To do it anyway. If you know what you want, and you really want it, then you’ll do what it takes to get there. Thriving is about staying focused, taking action, seeing failure as part of progression, seeing rejection as a sign that you are trying. This time next year…

Source: unknown

Your ﬁnal task: create your Thrive Plan What are you going to do? What do you need to make this happen? What can you do now? What help do you need? Another Door is about supporting you through these stages. Each stage is important. Being made redundant is a life interruption. It’s also an opportunity. If you want to join a supportive, encouraging community, join the Another Door programme. Five weeks of supportive emails straight into your inbox. Access to Another Door community including social sharing app. Regular groups calls to check in with how you are doing. Find out more on www.anotherdoor.co.uk to help you move on. Subscribe to Another Door podcast for regular inspiration and advice. Also follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Join the free support group on Facebook Another Door Encouragement Group.

ARE YOU PUTTING THINGS OFF?

GO FOR IT. OWN IT. ENJOY IT

Procrastination: ‘The act or habit of putting o or delaying, especially something requiring immediate attention’. Are you putting things o ? Are you making excuses? Do you just need to get on with it now? Be honest. What is a necessary thing you need to do. And what is an excuse. Something you are putting o . Something you aren’t prioritising?

When you start to make your move you need to hold tight. You will be thriving but you might still have moments when you wobble. You might keep getting stuck. You might keep feeling lost. Hope keeps you going. Ideas will start to come to help you solve the Actionproblems.will move you along, small steps, big breakthroughs, small steps, big breakthroughs. Keep that formula in your mind – hope, plus ideas, plus action will help you get results.

Hope + Ideas + Action Your Thrive Plan WHAT'S STOPPING YOU? And finally...

THE ONE THING IM GOING TO DO THIS YEAR IS... THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE... IM GOING TO DO THIS BECAUSE I'M.... MY DOOR IS CLOSING, BUT MY NEXT DOOR I GO THROUGH IS GOING TO BE THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENS TO ME