AnothER DOOR Five Steps to Thrive when your career door closes...
SHOCK
UN STUCK
STUCK
THRIVE
SLOW GO
Welcome. I’m glad you are here. Get your notebook ready... Scribble everything, all of your thoughts, ideas, feelings Hello, Ok, this isn’t a guide to getting made redundant. Since you’ve downloaded this I’m assuming you’ve already achieved being made redundant. How to be made redundant is how to deal with what has happened to you. How to view it as a positive thing, without ignoring that it is a bit of a shock. This workbook helps you to start thinking of redundancy as an opportunity. Work through the questions. See what comes up. And if you need more support, want to join a community who know how you are feeling, where you are at, will help you move on, then check out joining the Another Door support programme. I look forward to hearing about your plans and working with you to support you in future. Enjoy! Eleanor Eleanor Tweddell, founder of Another Door
“When one door closes, another door opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” Alexander Graham Bell
No-one wants to be made redundant. It wasn’t on your bucket list, but it happens, it happens a lot. You are not alone. It has happened to you, so now it’s time to take control. What happens now is up to you. This is an opportunity. When was the last time you thought about your life, what you are doing, why you do what you do, what you want to do. Life stuff. Now is the moment. Take control. Working through the five stages of shock, stuck, slow slow go, unstuck and thrive will help you to accept what has happened, see the opportunity, explore what you want to do, and take action to make it work for you.
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You’ve had bad news, it’s ok to feel not ok about it
SHOCK
“Life is under no obligation to give us what we expect.” Margaret Mitchell (Author, Gone with the Wind)v Life has been interrupted. You thought it was heading in a certain direction, now things feel uncertain. Your future is unknown. Accepting the shock of the news of redundancy is the first step to moving on. It’s ok not to feel to ok about it. It’s ok to feel many different emotions all at once. Tune into to how you are feeling and give yourself space to be shocked.
Curve Ball Curve How are you feeling? It’s ok to feel a lot of different emotions I’M EXCITED
I’M FEELING OKAY
I’M HOPEFUL I’M FEELING BETTER
I’M CONFIDENT I’M CONFUSED
I’M WORRIED I’M ANGRY
I’M ANXIOUS
I’M BLANK
I’M SAD
When life gives you a curve ball, you start to meander, small curves break away from the main curve, they loop around, they cause landslides, they then calm and become slow moving beautiful streams innocently heading off to meet the sea, and then they hit rocks again, splash around, hope for a dry day so things can regroup. This is the Curve Ball Curve.
Never will you feel so many emotions in one month, week, day, hour – hope, anger, grief, delight, relief, terror, optimism, fear.
This is the Curve Ball Curve. Not so much of a curve as a tangled ball of string, unravelling everywhere, getting into a knot and tripping people up, especially yourself.
How are you feeling today? Tune into your feelings each day. Don’t ignore your feelings. Talk about it. Give yourself space. Go for a walk. Breathe. You need time to process what has happened. 3
WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND? You might have a lot on your mind right now. Take some time to tune in with what’s on your mind.
TELLING PEOPLE
PAYING BILLS
Who have you told? Is it an issue? Who are you worried about telling? Why? Is it about you or about them? What is the worst they can do? What is the best they can do?
What is your weekly/monthly budget? How much do you need to be comfortable? Do you have savings? Can you stop things to give you breathing space? Do you have mortgage protection? Can you reduce credit card / loan payments? Add to regular weekly budget - Interview/connections/network budget (travel, food & drink) - Daytime activity (yoga classes, golf lessons, lunch with friends) - ‘At home’ costs; electricity, gas, water, broadband, telephone
The things that I’m thinking about... 1.
2.
4.
5.
3.
How many of those things haven’t happened (yet?) The what ifs and maybes.
“When we worry it’s like the engine of our mind is constantly being revved up. Worry and anxiety don’t allow us time to switch off and rest. They don’t allow us time to enjoy the journey” Paul McGee, How not to worry
N TIVE AC
SLE
LL WE
WELL EP
EA
T
You are in shock. Give your self space to think. Work on developing the feeling of hope, which will lead to optimism, which will lead to being open to possibilities. Hope will keep you going, even when it feels hard, through the tough days, through the days when you get rejections, feel like you are failing, feel like it’s hopeless – you can always keep the hopeful candle burning.
KEEP BRAI
TIVE AC
It’s okay to wallow...a bit
KEEP BODY
You can feel a bit sorry for yourself You can have you time Do one thing each day to look after yourself
Look after yourself
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2 You are ready to move on, but how?
STUCK
You’ve accepted the shock. But now you feel stuck. You aren’t sure what to do next. The feeling of being stuck is a great moment. It means you are ready to move on. The feeling of being stuck means you are open to possibilities, ready to make things happen, you know change has to happen. So embrace the feeling of being stuck. The space in-between a door closing and your next door opening can be fun, it can be full of discovery and opportunity. Be curious, be open and see where it takes you.
WHY DO YOU DO WHAT YOU DO?
START HERE Start with you. Start with the job you were doing. What did you do? List all the stuff: the tasks, the day to day activities, how did you help people, how did you contribute to the business? Now look at all the stuff: what did you love doing? What were you good at doing? What did you hate doing?
I LOVE MY WORK I AM SKILLED AND TRAINED FOR THE MONEY / REWARD I BELIEVE IN IT
Ikigai is about getting that sweet spot of doing what you are good at, what you love, what the world needs, and getting paid for it. Take a look at the Ikigai diagram. Why do you do what you do? What would be your Ikigai sweet spot job?
O SI M
N
N
PR O
FE SS
IO
VO
THE WORLD NEEDS THIS
O TI CA
N
IO
IS
SS PA
I’M GOOD AT IT
N
I LOVE IT
I GET PAID FOR IT
IKIGAI DIAGRAM
As well as work, and thinking about why you do what you do, it’s now a good time to think about all parts of your life. After all they all one thing. There isn’t really a thing of work / life balance. It’s really about life balance. What are you focusing on? Where is your energy? If your energy is not aligned with your goals you wont achieve what you want to. And the ‘not the right time’ excuse has just gone out the door. Your redundancy is exactly the right time to start to think about life balance. Use ‘The Life Priority Wheel’ to check in and see where you are spending time, and where you want to spend time – and start making changes to bring the two closer together. This is called a Priority Wheel because it’s where you are prioritising your energy. You are choosing your priorities. There will always be a reason why you are prioritising something. Being aware of your priorities, and why you are doing it is the first step to helping you check-in. If you want to change something in your life you have to acknowledge why things are the way they are first.
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WEALTH & FINANCE
Your Life Priority Wheel
HEALTH & WELLBEING
When you read each headline, what thoughts, comments, activities come up in each one?
SELF GROWTH & LEARNING
YOU
CAREER & WORK
ENVIRONMENT & LOCATION
FAMILY, SPIRITUALITY, FRIENDS, COMMUNITY, RECREATION RELATIONSHIPS
EXAMPLE - RIGHT NOW, I AM LONELY, LOST BUT HOPEFUL
- HAVE ALL MY FINANCES IN ORDER - REALLY NEED TO SORT OUT PENSION - TOO MUCH DEBT
- NEED TO EAT BETTER - KEEP UP MY RUNNING
WEALTH & FINANCE
YOU
HEALTH & WELLBEING
- SPEND NO TIME DEVELOPING MYSELF - FINISH MY SPORTS COACHING COURSE
CAREER & WORK
SELF GROWTH & LEARNING
SPIRITUALITY, COMMUNITY, RECREATION
ENVIRONMENT & LOCATION FAMILY, FRIENDS, RELATIONSHIPS
- VOLUNTEER AT LOCAL SHELTER - HELP OUT LOCAL CRICKET TEAM - PART OF THE RUNNING CLUB
Have you ever thought about what you’d like your life to be like in 10 years time?
Age Where are you? Who are you with? What are you doing? What are you thinking? How are you feeling?
- WANT TO LIVE CLOSER TO FAMILY - NEED TO MOVE INTO SCHOOL CATCHMENT - WANT TO MOVE TO THE COUNTRYSIDE
- WANT TO FIND NEW LOVE - WANT TO SEE MORE OF FRIENDS
As well as thinking about where you are now, now is the time to think about the future.
In 10 years time….
- WORKED SAME JOB FOR 20 YEARS - WANT TO CHANGE CAREER - NEED MORE FLEXIBILITY - WANT TO EARN MORE MONEY - SPEND ALL MY TIME HERE
Where do you spend your most time? Rank each question (1 – most time 10 – least time) Where do you want to spend your most time? Rank each question (1 – most time 10 – least time) This is now your ‘Priority List’ What can you do to start to change things? Think of 1 – 5 things you can start today
WHAT HOLDS YOU BACK FROM LIVING THAT WAY NOW? MONEY FEAR
SKILLS CIRCUMSTANCES YOU
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YOU HAVE CHOICES Right now you have choices. That should feel empowering. It should feel exciting. Like there are exciting things ahead. Choices can feel overwhelming. So let’s simplify this a bit. You have three choices. You can decide whether to stick, twist or bust. Stick: to what you know, your expertise, try to upgrade your circumstances, promotion, location, salary, flexible working. Twist: use your expertise but in a different way, interim work, contractor, facilitator, trainer, teach, freelance. Bust: time for something completely new, way out of comfort zone, learning new stuff but following a passion.
A world of options & opportunities Get a job
Go freelance
Set up an online business
Get a job, same as last one
Go interim
Open a shop
Get a job, better than last one
Go contracting
Launch a new service
Get a job, side step into something different
Go consulting
Run workshops
Start a side hustle
Turn your hobby into your job
Change job
Retrain
STUCK When you feel stuck it’s the moment you feel ready for change. Think about who you are, why you do what you do, what are you prioritising, are you happy with your life balance? What do you want to do? Stick, Twist or Bust? Enjoy this time to explore possibilities. Keep open. Keep curious.
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3 Don’t just do it, pause, get clarity, know your why, then go
Slow, slow, go
It might feel odd that at this very moment when you are having ideas, starting to feel good, ready to do something, that the next stage is to slow down. The aim of slow, slow, go is to maximise productivity once you turn your energy into doing something. Slowing down your thinking helps to get clarity, it will help you be clear on what you want to do, and will give you strength to move on with intention once you are ready. Slow, slow go is about spending energy on getting clear, not energy on being busy.
You might have a few ideas buzzing by now. Before you jump, take time to be clear on your why - why you want to do it, why you are choosing what to do next, why it is important to you.
Write down your ‘why’ now. What do you want to do? Why do you want to do it? Why is that important?
“Clarity is the most important thing. I can compare clarity to pruning in gardening. You need to cut it all back to then flourish again. You need to be clear. If you are not clear, nothing is going to happen. You have to be clear. Then you have to be confident. And after that, you just have to put a lot of work in.” Diane von Furstenberg, fashion designer
Be very very clear on what you want. Write down the one thing you really really want and why.
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4 You know what you want to do. How do you do you start?
UNSTUCK
Now you have a view on what you want to do you can create a plan of action and begin to take steps towards a goal. Becoming unstuck is about taking action. Intentional action that focuses your energy on the things that will get you results. You’ve done the thinking, now it’s about taking time to plan. Plan your way to success. Think about making your story work hard for you. And surround yourself with people who will help you along.
where to start...
1. MAKE A PLAN
2. CREATE YOUR STORY 3. CREATE A TRIBE
- Be clear on your what and your why. - Mind map all your ideas and prioritise them. - Take small achievable steps – chose 3 things you can do today to move forward.
- Know who you are, what you stand for, why you are passionate about what you do. - In 3 sentences describe what you want to do, and why. - Start telling your story – talk to people, write about it, post about it.
- Be aware of the people around you – are they helping or holding you back? - Create a tribe who help you along, inspire you, role model and share their learnings. Identify the help you need to progress
1. MAKE A PLAN STEP 1
YOUR WHY AND YOUR WHAT
STEP 2
STEP 3
STEP 4
MIND MAP AND PRIORITISE
PRIORITISE BEING A SWOT
SMALL ACHIEVABLE STEPS
Your what and your why
MIND MAP YOUR IDEAS IDEAS
IDEAS
What do you want to do? Why do you want to do it?
IDEAS
PUT (WHAT YOU WANT TO DO) HERE
IDEAS
What do you expect to get from it? How do you feel about this? What will stop you achieving it? What will help you?
IDEAS
IDEAS
Scribble all your ideas about how you can make it happen. Hold nothing back. No boundaries here.
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Be a SWOT
STRENGTHS
WEAKNESSES
The ideas you will find easy to do, your expertise, in your comfort zone
The ideas you like but don’t feel its what you know or what you are good at
OPPORTUNITIES
THREATS
The ideas that aren’t in your comfort zone but you are willing to try
The ideas that you aren't ready for
(CONFIDENCE)
- Now group the ideas - Focus on Strengths ideas - Choose 2 Weaknesses to work on developing - Choose 2 Opportunities to try - Park the Threats (but don’t get rid of them… things might change)
(CONCERNS)
(POSSIBILITIES)
(BARRIERS)
TINY STEPS Take tiny steps to help you move forward. List 5 small steps you can do this week that will help you move forward.
2. YOUR STORY WHO YOU ARE
WHAT YOU SAY
WHAT YOU DO
WHAT YOU STAND FOR
Knowing your story will build your confidence, help you be more intentional and help you achieve your goals. Spend some time getting to know yourself. It will help you tell your story at interviews, client pitches, networking events, develop your CV. Who are you? What do you stand for? What are your values? What do you want to be known for?
What are your proudest moments / achievements? What are you really good at? What are your life goals?
How can you help people? 13
“Regardless of age, regardless of position, regardless of the (situation) we happen to be in, all of us need to understand the importance of branding. We are CEOs of our own companies: Me Inc. Our most important job is to be head marketer for the brand called You.” Tom Peters
3. CREATE A TRIBE It's important to be in circles of people who are going to help you along, be role models, be sounding boards, be an ear, will understand what you are trying to do.
MIGHT NOT BE YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY
MIGHT BE PEOPLE FROM LONG, LONG AGO
MIGHT NOT KNOW THEM RIGHT NOW
Surround yourself with people who get it support it and cheer it on Your (Get) IT crowd Who are the people who get it and support you?
YOUR IT CROWD Who are your 'it' crowd - no not your IT help desk crew, although they might be useful - your ' it' crowd are the people who get 'it'. They give you energy, you give them energy.
WHO ARE YOU SPENDING TIME WITH? ARE THEY SUPPORTERS? ARE THEY GIVING OR TAKING? WHO ARE THE ENERGY SOURCES?
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5 You are ready to make your move and thrive
THRIVE
The great news is that if you let yourself go through these five stages and relish everything each stage has to offer, including the lows and highs, then you will come out of the other end ready to take on the world… Being made redundant isn’t a great experience, but with some self-indulgence in the right areas, some action for the right reasons you can make this become a good thing that happened to you. That doesn’t excuse or take away the pain of being made redundant. When people talk about it ‘being the best thing that ever happened’ they tend to miss out the soul searching, and reflection, and curve balls they had to go through to get there. You are ready to thrive. To face your fears. To do it anyway. If you know what you want, and you really want it, then you’ll do what it takes to get there. Thriving is about staying focused, taking action, seeing failure as part of progression, seeing rejection as a sign that you are trying.
This time next year… What is your ideal scenario? If everything could fall in place and all come together, what would this time next year look like?
DO YOU HAVE THE MINDSET TO THRIVE? GROWTH MINDSET
FIXED MINDSET
Carol Dweck talks about two mindsets. You have to work on your growth mindset to achieve your goals. What mindset do you think you have right now? What can you work on?
I CAN LEARN ANYTHING I WANT TO. WHEN I’M FRUSTRATED, I PERSEVERE. I WANT TO CHALLENGE MYSELF. WHEN I FAIL, I LEARN. TELL ME I TRY HARD. IF YOU SUCCEED, I’M INSPIRED MY EFFORT AND ATTITUDE DETERMINE EVERYTHING.
I’M EITHER GOOD AT IT, OR I’M NOT. WHEN I’M FRUSTRATED, I GIVE UP. I DON’T LIKE TO BE CHALLENGED. WHEN I FAIL, I’M NO GOOD. TELL ME I’M SMART. IF YOU SUCCEED, I FEEL THREATENED. MY ABILITIES DETERMINE EVERYTHING.
CREATE THE RIGHT MINDSET TO GET YOU THERE GROWTH VS FIXED MINDSET 16
ARE YOU PUTTING THINGS OFF? Procrastination: ‘The act or habit of putting off or delaying, especially something requiring immediate attention’. Are you putting things off? Are you making excuses? Do you just need to get on with it now? Be honest. What is a necessary thing you need to do. And what is an excuse. Something you are putting off. Something you aren’t prioritising?
Source: unknown
Hope + Ideas + Action When you start to make your move you need to hold tight. You will be thriving but you might still have moments when you wobble. You might keep getting stuck. You might keep feeling lost. Hope keeps you going.
Your Thrive Plan Your final task: create your Thrive Plan. What are you going to do? What do you need to make this happen?
Ideas will start to come to help you solve the problems. Action will move you along, small steps, big breakthroughs, small steps, big breakthroughs. Keep that formula in your mind – hope, plus ideas, plus action will help you get results.
What can you do now? What help do you need?
WHAT'S STOPPING YOU?
And finally... Another Door is about supporting you through these stages. Each stage is important. Being made redundant is a life interruption. It’s also an opportunity. If you want to join a supportive, encouraging community, join the Another Door programme. Five weeks of supportive emails straight into your inbox. Access to Another Door community including social sharing app. Regular groups calls to check in with how you are doing. Find out more on www.anotherdoor.co.uk to help you move on. Subscribe to Another Door podcast for regular inspiration and advice. Also follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Join the free support group on Facebook Another Door Encouragement Group.
GO FOR IT. OWN IT. ENJOY IT
THE ONE THING IM GOING TO DO THIS YEAR IS...
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE...
IM GOING TO DO THIS BECAUSE I'M....
MY DOOR IS CLOSING, BUT MY NEXT DOOR I GO THROUGH IS GOING TO BE THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENS TO ME