Muse in Progress

I’m a big believer in the divine, of the will of the universe, and the karmic balance of fate and harmony aligning us with a greater purpose — as long as we have the conviction and faith to trust the process and pursue it. I often wonder whether becoming an artist is fated, or if it’s a choice that sacrifices a more sustainable, simple, or straightforward life or career (at least in the eyes of capitalism and “society”). What does it even mean to be an ARTIST? Who gets to define what is considered art, and what is the difference between being a “creative” and being an “artist”? I’ve deliberated on this topic for some time, and I believe that being an artist takes the guts and gall to basically scream into the void, “LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT WHAT I CAN DO, WHAT I CAN CREATE! THERE’S NOTHING LIKE IT! I’M SPECIAL! PLEASE LOVE ME FOR IT!”

In today’s world, creatives often gravitate towards social media to expose themselves to the world.

I’ve never been satisfied with using social media to share my art… I am truly grateful for the amazing connections I’ve made, the internet friends and creatives I’ve met, and the thousands of people who have come into contact with my work. But as a person who has struggled with lifelong validation-seeking (shoutout childhood trauma!), Instagram has always made me unbelievably anxious. I would often attribute my intrinsic value and self-worth to how people engaged with my work, diminishing myself because I felt that I wasn’t matching up to a perceived standard of success. Toxic right? It’s everything people warn against when using social media...

After the pandemic struck in 2020, I began challenging myself to explore new mediums of art. I started collaborating with photographers, molding my body and image as a point of focus and exploration. I considered myself more of an artistic subject than a “model” — curating personas and characters of my own design, and storytelling through fashion, styling, makeup, and posing. Modeling can be very difficult at times, but it is very empowering, and has since become a core component of my art practice. But this year, as I navigated through a phase of dramatic existentialism and spiritual growth, I realized that through photographs, my physical appearance was being perceived, judged, and consumed by thousands on the Internet… As a Chinese woman, I’ve already spent part of my life being viewed as a fetishized, desirable specimen, an object of consumption for the male gaze. With targeted Asian hate crimes occurring all over the country, I suffered heightened anxiety around being seen. I struggled with the dilemma of wanting to be known, craving an outlet to share my creative vision and point of view with the world, but simultaneously feeling enervated that I was being compressed into an image for consumption. I realized that my art deserved to be seen in a form with more longevity and permanence.

Muse in Progress is the definition of my art practice at the time of publication, June 2021. It is a project I created while recovering from COVID, and following a traumatizing near-death experience. My magnum opus, a tangible collection exhibiting the most crucial moments of my life’s artwork in my choice mediums of expression. Muse in Progress reclaims my truth as an artist; it is an intimate and critical exploration of the real Ann Liu — one that social media will never reveal. I am still becoming the artist that I want to be, which is why the title of this publication alludes to “work in progress”, since my journey is yet unfinished. Muse is defined as “a person or personified force who is the source of inspiration for a creative artist”, but it can also mean “to think about something carefully and thoroughly”. I am the muse and I am musing, and neither of these things are yet complete.

I’ll leave you with these thoughts and a heartfelt THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. I’m grateful to all the incredible souls I’ve been blessed to have been inspired by, collaborated with, and created magic with.

I’m thankful to my home, the Bay Area, for so many years of acceptance, vibes, inspiration, and memories.

I’ll miss you, but I’ll always be back... Sending love to my family, who have come to learn, love, and accept a daughter who is non-traditional, unorthodox, and freespirited. My friends! The people who know me best, you hold such a special place in my heart and journey. I would not be who I am without your love and support.

Thank you to my impossibly beautiful, inspirational, poetic, and eternally devoted partner, I love you more every day! And finally, thank you wonderful reader, for this unique opportunity to hold your attention and space for some precious moments. Welcome to my world.

XOXO,

photography - Xavier Baskerville @xgoingiveittoem

ANN LIU instagram - @dripqu333n email - annliu349@gmail.com website - www.annxliu.com

Copyright © 2021 Ann Liu All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form by any meams without the prior written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations or noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. Do not photocopy. Not for resale.

Front & back cover image photographed by Rohan Handiwala, edited by Ann Liu. Magazine design by Ann Liu.

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photography - Nikolasi Saafi @kidbrwn creative direction, styling, makeup - Ann Liu @dripqu333n

collage artwork - Willie McCullough “SYG” @syground

photography - Cam Rosario @camrosario designer - Rey Aguilera @yummrey creative direction, styling, makeup - Ann Liu @dripqu333n

photography - Cheyenne Tex styling - Cheyenne Tex @cheyennetex_ makeup - Ann Liu @dripqu333n

photography - Thomas Sereno @thomassereno designer & text - Stephanie Gomez @stelizgoart makeup - Ann Liu @dripqu333n hair stylist - Camille Revon @millymunchies nail artist - Suleima Nunez @naildbysulie

“As a young woman, I have found it profoundly difficult to conserve the vivid imagination I once had playing and creating as a child. Numbness to feel emotion has made sparks of creative ideas rare occasions.

Throughout the production of this wearable, I questioned how creative play in my childhood laid the foundation for my creativity as an adult. How do those processes reemerge and how can they influence my art making today? Creative Play is an experience of childlike imagination and playfulness reattempted as an adult.”

photography - Cheyenne Tex styling - Cheyenne Tex @cheyennetex_ makeup - Ann Liu @dripqu333n

The archetype of femininity.

Supple, soft, sweet.

The sensuality of smooth silk on a bare leg, The loose tumbling of fragrant hair across a shoulder, The infinite landscape of divine curves and edges.

Pleasure unfolding her like a flower, dripping with the sweetest nectar.

Her body is a temple, Deserving of worship and sweetness, grace, love.

She is everything.

She is the world.

tarot series

photography - Kimson Doan @kimsondoan styling, makeup - Ann Liu @dripqu333n

not fragile like a flower...

...but fragile like a bomb tough series

photography - Kimson Doan @kimsondoan styling, makeup - Ann Liu @dripqu333n

photography - Kimson Doan photography - Kimson Doan @kimsondoan @kimsondoan styling, makeup - Ann Liu - Ann Liu textstyling, - Ann makeup Liu @dripqu333n location - Berkeley, California

inkartheaux @inkartheaux Ink & graphite on paper

A collection of flash tattoo designs drawn from 2019 - 2020

flash tattoos

Contact me to claim a design for tattooing.

Please do not get my artwork tattooed without permission.

photography - Cam Rosario @camrosario denim designer - Om Aranda @deadbydawnnn makeup, styling - Ann Liu @dripqu333n

THE BAY AREA. BERKELEY made me grow.

Saturday nights at Grizzly Peak, hotboxes and music, dancing above the sunset falling over the Bay Area horizon.

Walking home from campus down Telegraph, Cal students clutching books, to-go cups of coffee, and the world’s biggest brains.

Skaters mob down the street, crystals and jewelry glisten from vendor tables.

Colorful and diverse foliage dapples eclectic neighborhoods, cherry blossoms in the spring and succulents year round.

Breathe, slow down, and smell the roses.

Doc Martens stomping in rain puddles, and Septum piercings and protests and intellectual debates and artsy people and veganism and Bernie Sanders and secondhand fashion and parking garages and weed and house parties and hippies and Free Speech and psychedelics and public parks and...

OAKLAND showed me community.

Friday nights in the Town, going dumb and feeling myself and getting stupid.

Gasoline smell and loud screeches permeating the air, ghostriding the whip and getting hella hyphy, Everyone giggin as the bass thuds and the music slaps.

Graffiti and murals decorate surface they can, Expressions of passion, individuality, and creativity, Reflecting the colorful bodies and souls from this beautiful and gritty city.

Everybody knows somebody knows everybody out here.

The smell of Backwood smoke and Hennessey and sweat, Gold chains and grills and grams and puppies, And Taco trucks and functions and Mac Dre and Chinatown and liquor stores and soul food and pop-ups and fried chicken and art shows and lowriders and gentrification and thizzin and stunna shades and sideshows and community and revolution and fireworks and...

SAN FRANCISCO inspired me.

Sunday afternoons crossing the Bay Bridge, Bumping Larry June and staring up at skyscrapers.

Swoop your friends, cop some 40’s, some shmack, and chill at Dolores, Every once in a while add something a lil more fun to the mix.

Never go to SF for the same thing twice, Why would you when there is so much to do?

You could go to the MoMa or Haight Ashbury or the Mission or Twin Peaks, But no matter which world you end up in, you’re in for an experience to remember.

Shop in Downtown or hit the Piers or take a tour of Alcatraz If you’re into the tourist vibe (no shade).

Just make sure you bring an extra jacket or two, Because once it gets dark you’ll need something else to keep you warm.

If you’re lucky, end up on a rooftop overlooking the City, And Art galleries and overpriced boutiques and hill bombs and bars and Painted Ladies and the Tenderloin and the club and ice cream and the barrio and Japantown and Pride and house music and hipsters and ramen and techies and Bernal Heights and lights and...

film photography shot by Ann Liu @dripqu333n

photography - Kimson Doan @kimsondoan styling, makeup - Ann Liu @dripqu333n

BERKELEY

oakland

photography - Rohan Handiwala @rohan4sho wardrobe, styling - Xitlaly Peña @reminiscence.vtg creative direction, makeup - Ann Liu @dripqu333n

SF shoot with rohan

photography - Rohan Handiwala @rohan4sho wardrobe, styling - Xitlaly Peña @reminiscence.vtg creative direction, makeup - Ann Liu @dripqu333n

I’m fascinated by eyes because I do discern that they are the windows to the soul.

But I always wonder, given the limitations of human sensory capacity, how is it possible to “see” someone without “seeing” them — meaning not only receiving all physical facets and environmental stimuli as visual sense, but also perceiving said person through a veil of judgments and assumptions. I wonder if it is (or if it has ever been) possible to truly “see” only the soul, then we might realize that our physical vessels and the imaginary boundaries that separate us are nonexistent.

We are trapped in a matrix of perception, distorted by archetypes, heuristics, and comfortability. The purpose of eyes in the existence of all living beings is to accrue cognition for survival, a direct consequence of physical existence in a material reality that is constantly changing. Yet on a metaphysical level, this unfortunately means we cannot separate perceived truth with Truth, unless we actively aspire towards enlightenment outside of attachments to the material realm. Developing Ajna chakra (the Third Eye) reveals a path of witnessing and experiencing existence beyond the mundane limitations of the physical plane.

As for my artwork, eyes are a prevalent motif in my pieces because my creative expression is a channel of divinity which interrogates the very act of seeing. The physical manifestation of an art piece, which once began as a liminal concept in my mind (already shaped by my own cognition), is unchanging and immalleable in its current form. Yet the artwork still lends itself to the potential of an infinite amalgam of perceptions from anyone who happens to visit my little realm. The artwork has now permanently and irreversibly become a piece of your own consciousness. Creativity is constantly creating itself. See what I mean?

Artwork on opposite page:

transpose - 2021 Mixed materials on canvas

/tran(t)’spoz/ 1. cause (two or more things) to change places with each other.

2. transfer to a different place or context.

none of this is real anyways - 2020 Mixed materials on canvas

Artwork on opposite page:

lies, deception, & fantasy - 2019 Acrylic on canvas

Artwork on next page:

Divination - 2019 Acrylic on canvas

Divining - 2019 Mixed media temporary installation

“Divining” (2019) welcomes audiences to take a deep exploration into the human experience, and consider their own unique pathway towards destiny. This installation was a sensory augmentation of my original “Divination” (2019) acrylic painting (pictured on opposite page), engaging all five senses in an artwork which physically and meta-physically extended beyond the gallery wall. Only one person could experience the work at a time, but a collective consciousness was created with all that encountered it.

I imagined viewers entering a portal to the self, manifested as an ethereal, cave-like sanctuary providing each with an experience that encouraged soul-searching and healing on a micro (individual) and macrocosmic (universal) level. Visitors of “Divining” had the opportunity to receive a personal and unique positive affirmation (delivered via a slip of paper in the altar drawer) if they chose.

eyecyou - 2021 Digital collage

photography, creative direction, styling, makeup - Ann Liu @dripqu333n

Muse in Progress is dedicated to Kenny Cunningham, RIP. You changed my life and I am forever grateful, I hope you’re realizing all your dreams in your new lifetime.

For everyone, especially the young creatives and artists reading this, NEVER GIVE UP! I believe in you, but believe in yourself more.

EVERYTHING YOU NEED IS WITHIN YOU.