The Daily Butter Synonymous with lardy news
SPORT see ﬁnal page
Get the smoothest hashtags from Angry Duck on Instagram. How do you like this saucy Wigpig ? She is smoking hot bacon on wheels. Well, next to wheels anyway.
check it out @argaankanofﬁcial
Football man shouts with joy when wind blows through hair. Read the full story in the sports section on page 4!
Angry Duck goes to Berlin The main story of this newspapah is that Angry Duck went to Berlin in huge form. The journey began in Edinburgh on the 22nd of April 2015 and ended in Berlin on the 27th, but who knows when it really ends, if you know what I mean. Although the journey really began in Edinburgh in 2005 when Angry Duck was born, but that is a different story for a different section of the newspapah.
LOST AND FOUND Toilet lost in central Berlin. Have you seen it? It is white porcelain. How can I go to the toilet without a toilet? I even bought enough toilet paper to last me a year but now it is of no use to me, sadsmileyface. (no longer) Toilet User Brown object found in Grünewald. I think it is a poo from dog, ape, human or eagle. May also be a chunky stick. Is it yours?
Please check out angryduckblog.com in a few weeks if you want to know about giant Angry Duck’s journey through Europe in a car with humans and other things.
Arga Ankan means Angry Duck in Swedish. It sounds better that way. Angry Duck was lucky enough to be in the Pictoplasma Academy 2014, so because of that he gets to be in the Pictoplasma Conference exhibition in 2015. Angry Duck is a duck who likes to wear different shoes, has fangs and super angry
ANGRY SEA GULL SPOTTED in TOWN
The dedicated reader KamferTor Harrykleiner has spotted a very angry sea gull, and has sent a picture of it to our newspapah. The sea gull is looking supscious and rather cross indeed. The gull reportedly ate 7
kebabs and 3 small children plus a medium to small horse before leaving behind some rather large stools where it had its headquarters for the past 2 weeks, according to The Daily Butter’s source, who we must assume is reliable. But after all, who can we trust these days. KamferTor Harrykleiner seemed like a very serious and handsome chap and that is good enough for us.
eyebrows. He is male, for anyone wondering about that. He doesn’t care what anyone thinks about him wearing ladies shoes sometimes. Each to their own. Angry Duck is only angry with bad people. Not only people that are mean to him, but also with others who haven’t deserved it.
Who decides who deserves it? Angry Duck does. He uses common sense. Now he is in Berlin, so enjoy him whilst you can. He has been to Berlin before, and pure loves it. Angry Duck loves you, if you are a nice person and not a rasist individual who is mean to kids and animals, smileyface or not really.
Bucket of cat snot lost. Reward is plenty home made cinnamon rolls. Angry Duck Picture of Angry Boss found. Is he yours?
Thankful He’s Not Mine
APE SHOUTS WITH OPEN MOUTH An ape has been reported to open its mouth when sitting whenever it pleases. The Daily Butter spoke to Derrick Ausderreihemann, a local denture manufacturer who observed it all. -”It was really happening”, says Ausderreihemann, snorting and snoring. “The ape opened its mouth and I have no idea why. It made me feel sick to my stomach. All my dentures fell out on the ground, so I had to pick
them up and put them in a little pouch I carry in my bum bag”, says a furious Ausderreihemann whilst lifting his eyebrows up and down a few times. An upsetting experience.
Have you seen this man? His name is Mike James and he was last seen on the M8 towards Juniper Green riding his Bike James. Reward for tangible information.