Page 1

[F R E E ]

bombay bicycle club

chase & status

tinie tempah

noah and the whale

WIN A ROUND THE WORLD FLIGHT!

greg davies

VALENTINE’S DAY • HOUSING GUIDE ASK UNCLE KUNT (& THE GANG) SIX CRAP BADDIES • HOUSE PARTY YOUR DEMOS • YOUR SCENE

the vaccines

PLUS

2012

THE ONES TO WATCH

THE BEST NEW BANDS YOU’LL HEAR THIS YEAR!


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Well throw me down a well and call me sweetcheeks, it’s the first issue of 2012! We’ve already had a crackin start to the year, not least because RBS Chief Sir Fred is now just, Fred. What a tit. Anyways, we have a MASSIVE issue ahead, featuring interviews with Bombay Bicycle Club, Noah and The Whale, Greg Davies, Chase and Status, Tinie Tempah and the Vaccines! If that wasn’t enough to tickle your knackers/knickers we also have the chance to win a Round The World flight. And loads more too. You jammy bunch of buggers, it’s only because we care....

s s e l e r i W [MAGAZINE] Jan / Feb 2012

In this issue.... Page 06: Win these

Page 08: The Vaccines

Page 15: Ask Uncle Kunt

Page 20: Mr Mead

Page 23: Noah & The Whale

Page 26: Housing Guide

Page 34: Win A Round The World Flight!

Page 39: Bombay Bicycle Club

NEWS • DEMOS • THE F’IN F Also in this issue...

WORD • VALENTINES DAY HOUSE PARTY •SIX CRAP BADDIES •YOUR LOCAL SCENE

Page 39: The Ones To Watch 2012

The issue was done mostly under the influence of free cocktails, peanut butter Kit Kats and enough tequila to kill a monkey.

PUBLISHED BY UK STUDENT MEDIA LTD Telephone 0151 705 3468 Advertising: sales@ukstudentmedia.net Editorial: news@wireless-online.co.uk

Page 16: Chase & Status versus Tinie Tempah

Page 32: Greg Davies

This publication is aimed at people over the age of 18, due to the nature of its content. If you are under 18, we suggest you put this magazine down and pick up a copy of Kerrang or Seventeen or something. Sorry about that, our lawyers told us to tell you. Whilst every care has been taken to ensure that the data in this publication is accurate, neither the publisher nor its editorial contributors can accept any liability to any party or loss or damage caused by errors or omissions resulting from negligence, accident or any other cause.

Editor: Andy Scott Contributors: Laura Griffiths, Khia Reynolds, Jack Carter, Tanya Harris, Joseph Smith, Tom Johnson, Chris Welsh, Phil Millar, Kunt, Dave Lightfoot, Adam Clements, Rachel Horner Design: Andy Scott, Duncan Lawson

Big thanks to: Everyone at ChuffMedia, Everyone at Avalon, Everyone At Wild UK, Claire and Ashley from Atlantic, Carl At Big Mouth Publicity, Nick at Cool Delta, Katrina at Las Iguanas, Rachel at Cow PR, Paul at Round The World Experts, Everyone at Hall Or Nothing, Joe and James at QuoteMePrint.com, Mark Ashton, Hulk Hogan, The good people at Papa Johns Pizza...

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WIN THESE:

Either text your answers to 07930 496 605 or email win@wireless-online.co.uk along with the competition number, your name, uni and phone number (if you send it via email). We’ll select the winner on the first day of next month, and let you know if you’ve won asap! Texts are just your standard charge, we don’t make any sly profits or anything...

WIN EVERYTHING

ON THIS PAGE!

For your chance to win every prize on this page, simply log onto our Facebook page and “like” us. One new friend will be chosen at random on 1st Mar. facebook.com/wirelessmagazine

You could be the next

1 Basshunter...

It happens to everyone, there are so many times you’ve been walking down the street, or having a shower or sitting on the bog, and you’ve been humming this awesome tune which has been stuck in your head for ages. Where did you hear it? In your genius brain that’s where. Yes, it turns out you are actually a modern day Mozart and up until now you’ve just had no outlet for your creative wizardry. Well worry no more you musical maestro, because GEAR4’s Pocketloops is the answer to your prayers. Just pop your iPhone in to the dock, and tinkle those ivories. You can create beats and loops, remix tracks or just write brand new tunes! It’s not genre specific either, you can do anything from drum n bass to metal - whatever tickles your pickle. We have one to give away, worth £49.99, just tell us True or False, the first recorded song was actually a cover of Iron Maiden’s Run To The Hills, as performed by Aled Jones.

2 Stop poisoning your friends. Do you swear like an angry sailor or have a slightly too big tongue for your mouth? Well chances are you are probably already a chef. For the rest of us, sometimes a recipe is useful. Especially an affordable one. Well The Ultimate Student Cookbook is a godsend if you are trying to impress your friends, or a date, or even just for the smug sense of self satisfaction that your food is nice. We have ten copies to give away, just tell us True or False, a recent study found Gordon Ramsey’s face is actually marginally more wrinkly than that of a worried Pug.

3 Feed yourself for free. Las Iguanas is probably the best Latin American bar/restaurant in the whole wide world. They aren’t paying us to say this, we just really like it in there. If you just fancy popping in for a cocktail or a cheeky beer, or if you are in the mood for some awesome Latin American munch, then it’s definitely worth a look. Infact, students get 20% off in there from Sun to Thurs, and if you aren’t a student you can get 2 for 1 drinks during the Sun - Wed happy hour! So anyway, they’ve given us 2 x £25 vouchers just for you, tell us True or False, The hottest chilli in the world is the Trinidad Scorpion Butch T, and is can turn you blind, if for some silly reason you rub it in your eyes.

Something for everyone. 10% discount, worth almost £150 on Southern Sun American Tours when you visit www.trekamerica.co.uk/wireless using the code 150218 15% discount on everything at BraStop.com when you use the code WIRE15 20% discount on Hobgoblin merch on wychwood-shop.co.uk using code SLASH Wireless 06


NEWS: INTERNET POLICE CLAIM THEIR BIGGEST (AND NOW YOU HAVE TO WAIT TIL THURSDAYS TO WATCH BIG BANG THEORY...) ‘BADDIE’ YET For those of you naughty people who use the likes of IceFilms to stream or download films and TV shows online, it’s probably best that you are sitting down for this one. The FBI along with other authorities across the globe have come together to forcibly shut down the file sharing website MegaUpload.com. Owned and

run by just seven people (including the brilliantly named Kim Dotcom, who changed his surname from Schmitz by deed poll for some reason), MegaUpload had generated well over 175 million dollars since 2005 and allegedly cost the TV and film industry around $500m. Mr Dotcom, in true Hollywood bad guy style, had a mansion and a wide

ISLE OF WIGHT FESTIVAL LINE UP KEEPS GETTING BETTER!

With arguably the strongest festival line up you might see this year, The Isle Of Wight festival just keep on adding massive artists to the bill. Infact, Jessie J and Miles Kane have just been announced, alongside the mighty Pearl Jam, Bruce Springsteen, Tinie Tempah, Noel Gallagher, Example, Professor Green, The Vaccines, Noah and The Whale, Biffy Clyro and quite frankly way too many more to list. Originally Britain’s answer to Woodstock (and with a much bigger crowd!), I.O.W festival is one of the oldest in the country, and has played host to the likes of Jimi Hendrix, The Who and The Doors... I.O.W. Festival runs from 21 – 24 June 2012. For tickets and further info, visit www.

TEN O’CLOCK LIVE IS BACK. F a n s o f Desperate Scousewives, T.O.W.I.E and a n y t h i n g starring the Jordan / Peter train wreck, might as well turn the page now. The brilliantly witty and topical Ten O’Clock Live, featuring an all star cast of Charlie Brooker, Jimmy Carr, Lauren Laverne and David Mitchell is back on our screens on Feb 8th, on Channel 4. Huzzah!

selection of sports cars, including a particularly daft pink Cadillac, all of which were seized in the raid. For us regular folks, this means no more watching American tv shows before they come out here. For Kim and co, it’s looking like 20 years...

NEW DIE HARD MOVIE IN “RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS” SHOCKER. For fans of the Die Hard films, you might have noticed Bruce Willis’ John McClane has gone from “pretty hard cop” to “superhero who can take down a helicopter using just his own car” over the course of the last 4 movies. This has all been eclipsed by the god awful title of the newest installment - Die Hard 5: A Good Day To Die Hard. This name was thought up by the people who brought us Finding Nemo 2: A Good Day For Finding Some Fish and of course Batman 3: Punchy Punchy Oof Twat.... Die Hard 5 is due for release on Feb 14th 2013.

SOFA BREAKS SPEED RECORD Couch potatoes in Australia have set a new world record for the fastest sofa in the world, clocking up a massive 101mph on a runway in Sydney. The sofa, complete with coffee table and fruit bowl smashed the previous British record of 92mph...

ROFLCOPTR: NO LAUGHING MATTER... If you’re a regular reader, you’ll know we aren’t the preaching types but it has to be said the recently popular, and fucking stupidly named drug ‘Roflcoptr’ is probably a bad idea. You might think you’re having a cracking night, and everyone is looking at you because you are awesome - but the truth is, you just shat your pants. In a nightclub.

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The Vaccines

Words: Jack Carter

While The Vaccines have been touring the world and fuelling the growing excitement for their debut album ‘What Did You Expect from the Vaccines?’, they may have been expecting the heat to have died down back in Great Britain however, they returned to a sold-out UK headline tour and a Brit Award nomination for Best British Breakthrough Act, as they begin to envisage bigger prospects on their horizon. In the downstairs cabin of the O2 Academy in Leeds, guitarist Freddie Cowan and drummer Pete Robertson spill how they’ve witnessed the transition from an unrecognised guitar band in London to the UK’s biggest selling new band of 2011 and how they’ve dealt with towing the hype behind them along the way. “It’s been such a whirlwind we haven’t really had time to think about it, I guess while people were buying our album in England we were playing to new audiences in Japan”, tells Freddie.

Touring for them first began in summer 2010 when fans discovered their demo, ‘If You Wanna’, on YouTube. When word of mouth spread about a sound revisiting 1950’s Rockabilly yet introducing a new take on guitar powered Indie music, DJ’s and promoters caught the first scent of The Vaccines. Their time in the remainder of the year was spent travelling the country from top to bottom as well as recording their first L.P. “Every so often you get memories of what it was like in the beginning and I suppose we have come a long way but mostly you’re just looking for the next step up”, Pete explains. As 2010 drew to a close, critics predicted that the following year would be the starting gun for the band. With the album still to be released the hysteria was swelling by the week. Barely six months after their first band practice they were being tipped as the sound of 2011. As many young bands will

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testify hype can more often than not be a curse in disguise and when the spell breaks so do usually the artists with it. The Vaccines have done well to stay focussed on their ambitions and they still remain one of the most exciting and highly anticipated acts in the country. A year on their success is being based on the merit of their first album and their live shows rather than the say-so of a few blogs and it has come as a welcome relief for them. Lead guitarist Freddie, brother of The Horrors’ keyboardist Tom Cowan, believes life in the band is now a little easier; “I think there’s less pressure because the albums spoken for itself… initially you’re playing in a room in front of 200 people but when you’re selling out academies it’s because people like your band…it’s nice to be away from that kind of insanity”. It’s January now and the band are fresh off their biggest UK headline tour


which included two dates at Brixton Academy, another two at Manchester Academy and a further double header at the historic Glasgow Barrowlands (and everywhere else inbetween). The Vaccines bug has spread worldwide with a colossal touring schedule which is set to continue right through to April 2012 - including a set at the highly coveted Coachella Festival in the States. During this time they went on the road with the Arctic Monkeys both in the UK and abroad. “We’ve done quite a lot of work with the Arctic Monkeys and their fans have always been incredibly warm t o u s ” , remembers Pete. The tour gave them their first taste of playing to bigger audiences in much bigger venues and they were greeted with tremendous energy and enthusiasm that rivalled that of the headliners. Freddie confesses however that when The Arctic Monkeys arrived onstage they realised who was boss; “sometimes you’d forget you were playing support, until they came on and completely fucking smashed it every night”.

the album begins to break allowing room to explore into the songs, lyrically and instrumentally. Singer and guitarist, Justin Young’s lyrics are a commentary on a generation in transition from being young and careless to a life of looming responsibility, illustrated poetically and meaningfully in each of his lyrics (you wanna get young but you’re just getting colder, you had a fun summer but it’s suddenly colderFamily Friend). Freddie states “with Justin’s lyrics you can take them at face

the mainstream so fresh and raw would be near impossible to duplicate so perhaps the path they have created can guide inspired acts rather than leeches. Freddie continues, “I think the (Indie) scene is quite fragmented I wouldn’t even call it a scene which is not necessarily a bad thing. I think it means guitar bands can do more interesting things to get noticed”. By April the foursome hopes to be back in the studio and ready to record their 2nd album

after e ’r e w t a h t y c a “It’s not intric h and meaning...” pt and but more like de valu the pressure of following

To be picked to go on tour with one of the country’s most loved indie bands little over a year after forming is an outstanding achievement but perhaps goes to show the hunger for a back to basics, Rock n’ Roll band that The Vaccines represent. Yet, is that all their music embodies? Songs like ‘Blow It Up’ and ‘Norgaard’ are short, sharp and direct and with a simple verse-chorus structure refine the origins of guitar music with influences from every one of its eras. However, with each listen the surface of

e or you can delve deeper”. Combined with Cowan’s melodies on lead guitar, inspired by genres from Kraut-Rock to No-Wave the layers underneath the surface begin to emerge. Pete concludes that “it’s not intricacy that we’re after but more like depth and meaning”.

their debut L.P is one they’re more than aware of. “A lot of people made a good record then made a terrible one so people know what you’ve done the first time but now they want to know what you’re going to do next”, claims Freddie. They’ve already released a new track in the form of ‘Tiger Blood’ which received a similar optimistic response to that of their previous singles. In addition to this, new songs in contention to be on the next record are being introduced into their live set so it would appear that The Vaccines are rearing to push on and get their next instalment out as soon as they can.

Does the band agree however, that there is an appetite for their music? As their popularity has grown many have been trying to predict what the aftershock of a band like The Vaccines will look like. “You get a lot of fucking terrible pop stars now because of Lady Gaga who’s great at what she does but there are 20 Lady Gaga wannabe’s that are crap and it gives pop a bad name”, The excitement for this explains Freddie. It’s band is still growing, in doubtful that he is the UK and particularly comparing the future of The over-seas. As the tour Vaccines to Lady Gaga but continues and with there is validation in the immediate plans to get back fact that when a great act in the studio, in true begins to make money behind Vaccines style, there is no comes a sea of clones that pause for breath. are a million miles from the The Vaccines will be back genuine thing. Having said in the UK in May, with a this, a band that arrived in

handful of dates...

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Words: Tom Johnson & Chris Welsh

s e i d d a B p a r Six C

come up with for this feature... Probably the most self explanatory title we could

#1. STILT MAN Stilt man, an early baddie from the comic book daredevil, had the wonderful ability to 'have stilts' thanks to a speciallydesigned battle suit he wore. The legs were telescopic, and apparently helped him in his day-job as a master criminal. You know, if he ever needed to rob a bank located on the 50th floor of a skyscraper. Also, if you look carefully at the frame you can see he uses the world's greatest / shittest chat up line - “Grease my stilt”. Try it. “Alright darlin' you wanna grease my stilt..? It's massive” Guaranteed you’ll get lucky.

#2. MR GLASS The bad guy from the film Unbreakable, which stars Bruce Willis as a quasi-superhero that can't seem to get injured. Samuel L Jackson's character, Mr Glass, is so named because he is quite the opposite. He's brittle, his bones shatter easily, like erm, glass. Which makes him a pretty crap baddie anyway. Infact in theory if you sang at him loud enough and at the right pitch he'd be pretty much goosed.

#3. ARSEFACE Simply put, his face resembled an asshole , after he shot himself in the face with a shotgun trying to copy Kurt Cobain. It didn't kill him however and he ended up deformed with a terrible speech impediment. Though he does announce himself as something of a bad guy following the death of his father, he never really does anything about it.

#4. BIG TOP The people at DC Comics were clearly starting to run out of ideas for Batman baddies when they came up with this one. Big Top is described on Wikipedia as ”a morbidly obese bearded lady in a tutu”. Rightio then...

#5. WHISPER Proper bollocks James Bond baddie this one. From Live and Let Die, basically Whisper’s 'thing' is that he is overweight and talks really quietly. Not so much scary as quite soothing, one might imagine.

#6. THE HYPNO HUSTLER Well this is clearly the best of the bunch. Just when you thought a fat hairy lady in a tutu was as good as it gets, let us present you the Hypno Hustler. In a nutshell this guy is the singer of his band The Mercy Killers and with the help of his special goggles and hypnotic vocals he induces his victims into a deep sleep and then robs them. Like a cross between a rogue Derren Brown and Bootsy Collins. Ridiculous. Wireless 11


YOUR DEMOS In Archives Traitor E.P.

Chris: Oh lovely, a nice piano intro that took them two minutes to bash together to screamy bollocks with melodic choruses, how stunningly original. Phil: They were formed from the "ashes of two stubbed out local bands" so, the first 2 bands were too shit so they decided that condensing that shit into one mega band would be a plan for success? Chris: Well, you know what they say. Two wrongs make a...wait, hang on... A really shitty band? Phil: Shall we skip the last song Chris: Beat you to that buddy. Phil: For a second there, I thought life had become beautiful, colours seemed brighter and the world was a better place, then I realised that the website had failed to load the next song, it was just post traumatic euphoria, like the elation you feel when you survive a car crash. myspace.com/inarchivesuk

Screaming Eyes Greed Chris: Loving the art work. It's called 'Greed' so there's a picture of a man with some dollar bills flying around his head. Despite them being Italian Phil: i could just paste in the bands bio followed by "LOL" and my job would be done here Chris: The press release promises they will "literally melt your face Wireless 12

Mr Phil Millar and Mr Chris Welsh review your demos and EPs. Completely impartially without any prejudice. They probably really love your haircuts too. Just remember that if you are in a band, or thinking of starting one then these two are here to crush any dreams of success you might have. Sorry about that. Email your demos for review to demos@ wireless-online.co.uk

off" Phil: They were Simon Weston's favourite band. facebook.com/ScreamingEyesHXC

Streetfight Silence

Secrets E.P. Chris: I want to mention the press release again, "often described as a mix of YouMeAtSix and The Police". Phil: How fucking often precisely? How many times have people reached the independent conclusion that this bunch of chimps sound like those 2 fucking disparate bands Chris: What demographic is t h i s a i m e d a t ? Emo/paedophiles? Phil: I will draw a fucking venn diagram for you, it is two circles that are no where near each other. Circles who have never met. Chris: Listen to my band, they're like The Beatles meets LMFAO Phil: I have a better description of Streetfight Silence. They're a bit like emo pop meets bland bollocks. myspace.com/streetfightsilence

Lazy Heart Parade Bored As Hell Chris: It's a bit folky. Not really my cup of tea. I don't hate it, but I'm more indifferent than anything. Phil: Oh, its quite nice Chris: Yes, 'quite nice' is exactly how I'd describe it. Phil: Fucking hell. I want to go back to the terrible bands that are easy to hate, it’s easy for me to say I SURE WAS BORED AS HELL WHEN I

LISTENED TO THAT SONG, so I will say that. facebook.com/lazyheartparade

Jon Lawton Pollyanna Chris: The album art is amazing. Phil: that is the 3rd best album art ever after Big Bear - Doing Thangs Chris: And Devastatin' Dave - Zip Zap Rap Phil: Exactly! Chris: Ok, The vocals are weak, the drummer is weak, the eclectic bits are shite and it needs to drop the synth bollocks altogether. Phil: It reeks of trying too hard myspace.com/jonlawton

dAS bEAT E.P.

Phil: They sent us two EPs, which do we listen to? I say the second one because it is shorter. Chris: I'm 30 seconds into the first song and I already feel like turning it off and if they think I'm writing it as dAS bEAT then they have another thing coming. It's Das Beat or nothing. Phil: I just can't think of anything to say Chris: It's a waste of everyone's time. Phil: Its too middle of the road to imagine Chris: More than anything, I want the singer to shut the fuck up. Phil: Then we'll stop this torture, now we never have to hear them ever again. search ‘das beat’ on facebook Email your demos, tour dates and a biog to Phil & Chris demos@wireless-online.co.uk Just don’t be offended...


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We are situated by Bristol Marina on Hanover Place, just 2 minutes from the S.S. Great Britain. Our central location provides easy access from all parts of Bristol and surrounding areas.

OPENING TIMES: 11AM - 11PM SUN TO FRI • 11AM - 7PM SAT

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t * * K e l c n U k As Our new resident Agony Uncle Kunt, of pop sensations Kunt and The Gang, is here to answer any of your problems. From a tricky sex life to a strange growth, odour or leakage, Uncle Kunt is the voice of reason and calm. Just remember, he’s here to help....* and Leek Escalope, or how about some American Soldiers degrading Iraqi prisoners with a Quorn sausage. Good luck!

Veggie Delights Dear Uncle Kunt

£20 LETTER OF THE MONTH!

My housemate just turned vegetarian, and now his farts really stink and I don't think he knows just how badly. My girlfriend won't even come round to the house anymore. What should I do?? Robbie, 19, Bristol There’s nothing worse than being trapped in a confined space with the foul smelling gas from someone else’s anus, and as someone who used to drive a minibus load of obese people to and from their Friday Night Fatclub Curry I can sympathise with your plight. What you need to do is put him off Quorn, so he has no option but to turn back on to meat, as a meat substitute substitute. To get him off the Quorn how about making him associate it with some atroctities via the medium of Photoshop. You could edit a picture of Gary Glitter with some Oriental kids chomping on a Quorn Cheese

Many Happy Returns Dear Uncle Kunt My boyfriend's birthday is coming up soon, and I want to do something really special. Have you got any ideas? Thanks a lot! Tracy, 20, Cardiff From personal experience Tracy, I know that blokes like nothing more than a personally signed photo of me. I can organise this for no charge, I simply do it in exchange for some photos of you with your knockers and biff out. And as a special one-off deal I will chuck in a copy of our latest album ‘Hurry Up And Suck Me Off Before I Get Famous’ if you pull it apart.

A Cry For Help Dear Uncle Kunt Why will no one have sex with me? Lonely Dave, 22, Warrington It could be a number of things, Dave. Maybe you’re

setting your standards too high. Maybe you’re not going to the right places where you can meet someone to have a relationship with. Or maybe you’re just a really ugly, boring arsehole with a cheesy helmet.

Anything for extra credit... Dear Uncle Kunt The other week on the way home from a night out I caught my best friend cheating on her fella with one of our lecturers, should I tell him or just leave them to it? What would you do? Jaime, 19, Newcastle Uni There’s no right answer here I’m afraid, Jaime. Without knowing all the facts it’s very hard to tell you what to do for the best. For example you don’t mention if her lecturer is a man or a woman, which would probably influence my course of action. As a rule of thumb if her lecturer was a man I feel the fairest thing to do would be to take her boyfriend up the pub, buy him a pint and gently break it to him that you saw her cheating. Whereas if her lecturer was another bird I’d be inclined to try and blackmail them into lezzing off while I watched and had a wank.

HAVE YOU GOT A PROBLEM?? If you have something on your mind that you think Uncle Kunt could help you with, then email your questions to HELP@ WIRELESS-ONLINE.CO.UK or text 07930 496 605. Don’t forget to include your name, age and where you’re from! Every letter that we print gets a tenner, and our favourite letter of the month wins £20! *This whole feature is a joke. Don’t get offended. Just turn the page.

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Words: Laura Griffiths

Chase & Sutsatus vers h Tinie Tempa

Chase, Status and Tempah. No that’s not the name of a dodgy rock band formed at an anger management group, it’s the super product you get when you mix together pretty much the biggest names in British drum and bass and hip hop, and throw them together in a London studio (Basic GCSE science there for you). Currently on their second tour of the year, Saul Milton and Will Kennard, otherwise known as Chase and Status, along with Tinie Tempah, give us the latest on their music, tour, being rather ‘braggadocios’ and... How much they like Tinie’s shoes? ‘It’s all about the shoes! My footwear is always on point,’ Tinie explains. ‘The first time I met them I was wearing sparkly shoes and they were like ‘We love it, let’s do a tune’. Easy as that!’ Ah the key to success, glittery footwear. After working

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with Tinie on their latest single ‘Hitz’, Saul assures us it’s his talent that i n f l u e n c e d t h e collaboration. ‘We had the pleasure of having Tinie support us at our show in Camden and met him right before he went on stage. It was so quick like [clicks fingers].’ Tinie adds, 'I’d been a big fan of these guys for a while and before I knew it, I was on their tour.’ Will says ‘We’re trying to represent the best of British and with Tinie on the track, it’s exactly that. We’re trying to show everyone that he doesn’t just write No.1 tunes, he can also write bars intensely on a track.’

‘No More Idols’, Chase and Status’ 2011 studio album, includes the single, written by all three. Saul explains the raw, mixed tape style, ‘We wrote a grimy, straight-up hiphop, raw beat. We didn’t want to have too many frills and we just thought ‘You know what, it’s a tough

beat, best rapper in the country, Tinie Tempah, let’s see if it can happen.’ We’re happy it did.’

They got to work recording in Chase and Status’ ‘proper nice studio’. A rather relaxed affair it seems, as he goes on to describe the ‘Peppermint tea, shoes off, pen, paper, beat on’ attitude they had. ‘It was a lovely day’, Will exclaims. Jolly good. The collaboration was well received and quite an achievement for a project Tinie confesses to be one of their ‘most challenging tracks ever.’ He says, ‘Radio 1 were starting to support a lot more eclectic and alternative music so it came along at the perfect time. I remember when the album first came out and all the tweets. I was like ‘People better say track No.7!’ And it was ‘Track No.7. Track No.7…’. Fearne Cotton was like ‘Yeah, ‘Hitz’, I love it’, it’s crazy.’ He does a very good Fearne Cotton impression


by the way. It seems the whole world wants to work with Tinie, but it’s apparent that Chase and Status may have taken priority in this eager queue of stars which includes Snoop Dogg and Dizzee Rascal. Tinie tells us ‘I have a lot of love for them and I respect their music. I think they’ve done something with British music that has never been done before and turned it into popular music effectively, which I was really amazed by. So I felt it was the perfect opportunity for us to be a little bit braggadocios... if you like.’ Tinie isn’t the only artist joining the guys on tour. Saul reveals ‘We have had the pleasure of working with some brilliant vocalists on the album, and it’s great to have them come on tour with us. Each of them adds a different dynamic to the live show – Delilah adds a bit of feminine charm, Liam Bailey always brings a little mayhem and Tempa T is just Tempz. It’s nice to be able to bring different guests out it keeps things fresh and makes each show a bit different. We’re really looking forward to getting back on the road.’

“The first time I met them I was wearing sparkly shoes and they were like ‘We love it, let’s do a tune’...” Tinie on Chase & Status

Even whilst on tour, the guys are still making music. Their electronic sound allows them to take their studio with them. ‘Because we have laptops we are actually able to work and make music while we’re on the road. When we have long drives on the tour bus it can be really useful as we find that we both get inspired on tour and get new ideas for beats.’ So what’s the secret to each other’s success? Have the ‘vibes’ and shiny shoes translated well outside the UK? They’re full of compliments for each other but we sense, a little envious of...Susan Boyle?! ‘There’s a nice little array of music doing well there. Well, actually, there’s Susan Boyle... She’s doing quite well there,’ Saul says. ‘There’s this whole ‘British invasion’ thing going on,

not only in a pop front but in a very underground way too.’ Tinie praises Chase and Status on their current standing, ‘They’ve always let their music do the talking and their music has spoken volumes around the world. Now they want to be superstars and wear shades in videos – I thought that was my thing but it’s cool!’. It looks as though they’re having an awesome time together and it’s clear to see that hard work and passion are the key things for them. Final words of wisdom from Saul, ‘You’ve got to have that hardworking mentality, that is everything. When you see other camps who share the same thing, you get on straight away, you’re on the same journey and I see the same kind of passion in us all.’

’s ou know what, it ‘Y t gh ou th st “We ju e st rapper in th be , at be h ug to a if mpah, let’s see country, Tinie Te .” nie it can happen’.. tatus on Ti

Chase & S

Wireless 17


What is Valentines Day?

WORDS: JOSEPH SMITH

And answers to some other questions you were either too stupid or lazy to ask. Valentine’s Day was originally a commemoration of a number of a Christian martyrs who died in the third century, but then the date was deleted from the Catholic calendar in 1969 because nothing more was known about the original Saint Valentine other than he was murdered somewhere in Africa. And that’s as far as historical fact and common sense go. If we could take any kind of moral from this story it would surely be “don’t go round pushing your beliefs on people”, but unfortunately the middle ages breathed new life into the holiday by embellishing it with myth and legend (or what I call, bollocks). It was just when we were going the off idea of buying women with turnips or else pillaging them from burning villages that we fell in love with the idea of romance. Nowadays Valentine’s Day is often referred to as a Hallmark holiday, which means that instead of engaging in the sumptuous Roman orgies or vast Brazilian tomato fights which denoted celebration in the past, we write what little feelings we still have on pieces of scrap paper with quaint illustrations or massproduced droll humour printed on the front and pass them to people we see face-to-face on a daily basis anyway. Not only do cards express a lack of sentiment, their intrinsic understatement often serves as a sarcastic rejoinder to the perceived insignificance of their respected events. New baby cards should say Wireless 18

“Congratulations on having functioning genitals”; Happy Birthday cards should say “Well done on being alive”; Merry Christmas is “Remember me? I’m still alive. Buy me things.”

Take a two week holiday to the continent and you’ll wonder how you were ever attracted to anyone on this damp, godforsaken island of

My problem with romance i s t h a t B r i t i s h people have never done it very well. It’s the French and Italians who are best at s m o o t h talking the opposite sex “Unless you’re the product of a long line of into bed and aristocratic arranged marriages, the the Americans chances are your parents were shitfaced at least have when they first met....” pig-headed ass-ugly inbreds. confidence on their side. In Friends they seemed to go on If you’re already in a five first dates a week, relationship I’d advise you presumably to talk about to not take any of this pre-nuptials, and regularly information on board. If you dumped partners for having want to continue having the quaint faults like ‘having a security of bland sex on a weird toe’. regular basis then go out But what’s the frigid Anglo Saxon’s method of procreation? Well, usually we compensate for our unhealthy sex lives with unhealthy drinking habits. Unless you’re the product of a long line of aristocratic arranged marriages, the chances are your parents were shitfaced when they first met, and their parents were shitfaced when they first met, ad infinitum. British women are too prudish to have sex sober and British men are too cowardly to ask. And let’s face it; we’re not the best looking bunch in the world.

and buy the most horrifically mawkish cuddly toy you can find this Valentine’s Day and just keep smiling.

If you’re single however, this can be a lonely time of the year so go out and sleep with someone fatter or uglier than yourself. It won’t harm anyone; it might even catch on in which case you can look forward to someone doing you the same favour. Fuck a Stranger Day would certainly be worth buying a card for. *PLEASE NOTE: IN THE INTEREST OF NOT GETTING LOADS OF ABUSIVE EMAILS FROM PEOPLE WHO “DON’T SEE THE FUNNY SIDE”. THIS ARTICLE IS MEANT TO BE TAKEN AS A JOKE. CHILL. *


A Feast Of Children

MR MEAD

You’d be forgiven if you’d never heard of Mr Mead. He’s relatively new to the art scene - but his darkly comic almost Burton-esque style has attracted the attention of art lovers and emo kids alike. From simple drawings to Russian dolls to decks of cards, and everything in between, the cult of Mr Mead is on the up.... What got you into art in the first place? I never really wasn't into art, the moment I was

influences? H.R Giger for his madness and depth of detail. Remi Wyart as he is an unknown genius and Koji Morimoto for sheer originality. I am getting very into the American contemporary art scene at the moment as well, Sylvia Ji and Kris Kuksi are incredible.

If you could have created one work of art which would it be? The Genghis Khan giant statue in Mongolia. One of the most incredibly

“The moment I was aware of myself, I was scribbling stuff...” aware of myself, I was scribbling stuff...None of my family are artistic so I am a bit of an oddity in that sense! It was always what I wanted to be, and I am very stubborn so didn't really want to do anything else. Apart from maybe be a marine biologist…. Who

are

Wireless [MAGAZINE]

20

your

biggest

Lady Local Native

dominating things I have ever seen. What are your plans / aspirations for the future? Hone my technique, get into sculpture, make a chess set, do a 10ft cityscape piece, learn etching and work out how to crack the American art scene…..And also finish a graphic novel and a

Indian Steam Girl


Gorey’s Subway

Flower Man

Birthday Party For One

Diving Bull

Voxman

dark theatrical production. Then sleep. Any other news we should mention? I have many pieces being shown in the Battersea affordable art fair in London with Fine Grime gallery on the 20-23rd October, including a 6ft piece that I am currently finishing which will have a time lapse video of my process accompanying it. Apart from that I am just designing as much work as humanly possible for the three Christmas events coming up‌.

Dane Empire

Dark Suit Cards

You can view/buy a whole load more of Mr Meads artwork at www.mrmead.co.uk or by typing in MrMead on Facebook, or Mrtommead on Twitter. Or you can buy the Dark Suit Playing Cards at www.antlersgallery.com/artist/mr-mead Wireless [MAGAZINE]

21


Do you think

outside of the box?

Wireless Magazine has job vacancies available in these areas: Liverpool Manchester Bangor Chester Warrington York Durham Middlesbrough Newcastle Cardiff Swansea Bristol Bath

Regional Music Editor, Brand Manager, Street Team, Part Time Graphic Designer Street Team Street Team Brand Ambassador, Street Team Street Team Regional Music Editor, Brand Manager, Street Team Regional Music Editor, Brand Ambassador Regional Music Editor, Brand Manager Regional Music Editor, Brand Manager Regional Music Editor, Street Team Regional Music Editor, Brand Manager Regional Music Editor, Brand Manager Regional Music Editor, Brand Ambassador, Street Team

Email us at info@wireless-online.co.uk with a CV, covering letter (don’t forget to tell us what city/town you live in) and whichever job you are going for. Or if you just want a bit more information about the roles. Or even if you just want to say hello. We’d love to hear from you.

s We are always on the lookout for journalist wherever you are based, so get in touch....

WRITTEN BY STUDENTS, FOR STUDENTS....

KEEP UPDATED WITH ANY OF OUR JOB VACANCIES ACROSS THE UK AT WWW.WIRELESSMAGAZINE.CO.UK Wireless [MAGAZINE]

22


Words: Jack Carter

“We’ve got that ca maraderie family vibe whic whole thing a mu h makes the ch more fun experience.. .”

NOAH AND THE WHALE

Over the last five years or so the resurgence of folk i n f l u e n c e i n t o contemporary music has spun the British pop/indie scene onto its head. Noah & The Whale have ridden the whirlwind and are rising with it as the excitement of their anthemic third studio release, ‘Last Night on Earth’, continues to take the world by storm. Three albums in many people would have thought that their ascendency into one of the biggest UK acts of 2011 was steady, if not delayed. Debut LP ‘Peaceful, the World Lays Me Down’ and follow up ‘The First Days of Spring’ were

successful in turning heads and pricking a few ears. However, singles ‘Life is Life’, ‘Tonight’s the Kind of Night’ and the i m m o r t a l ‘L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N’, appearing on their third and latest album, are what stand front man Charlie Fink, violinist Tom Hobden, bassist Matt Owens, guitarist Fred Abbott and drummer Michael Petulla as front runners in the future of British Rock n’ Roll.

“People are coming to the shows and that's happened because Last Night On Earth is a more accessible record than the previous ones”, states Fink.

The singer/songwriter, a previous student at Manchester University, has cited their burst into the mainstream as a shift in their musical direction, “when we put the second album out, it took a long while before people connected with it... this is the fastest that they have warmed to a new record of ours”. Subsequently, the band hit the festival scene hard over the summer, which proved to be another great significance in their formidable rise in popularity; “I really think we've progressed as a

Wireless 23


band and come out of ourselves as performers. I know having a loving audience makes me feel like I can do a lot more”. The band head out on the road this month for their biggest UK tour yet. 17 shows in under a month and Noah & The Whale aren’t planning to stop there. Forming in 2006, the Twickenham quintet released ‘Peaceful, World Lays Me Down’ in August 2008. Fuelled by the commercial success of first single ‘5 Years Time’ (reaching number seven in the UK singles chart) Noah & The Whale crafted a reputation for catchy and uplifting songs that simply couldn’t stay away from the radio. They admit they’re a “sucker for a great pop melody”, something which resonates throughout their highly

a 6th member on more than one occasion. The most prominent of which was the much-admired folk singer Laura Marling who delivered all the female

took more time to settle into their evolving taste. Fink humourously states “the album that people come up to me and say how Much they love is usually

“A lot of themes on the album are about change, romance and the night time - I think America has that open road romance to it” vocals on the album. She did so until departing the group to focus on her solo career leaving them as just five once again. Other artists who worked with the band include Emmy the Great and drummer Doug Fink, brother of Charlie, who left shortly before the band headed back into the studio to record their second album. ‘The First Days of Spring’, released August 2009, inspired a change in direction for the band catching critics and fans

The First Days Of Spring and I always think, 'Who the f**k bought it, then?” Undoubtedly, shying away from a second album made up of a winning formula for a record showing their musical fruition was a brave step for Noah & The Whale to take however, ‘The First Days of Spring’ has proven to be a fan favourite. Fink recalls the times at shows when notes would get handed up to them onstage admitting their love for the album; “People have a real emotional attachment to it”. What followed a year later forced the wind in the bands sails to really take off. Once again they wasted no time in returning to the studio to lay down their third effort ‘Last Night on Earth’ which peaked at number eight in the UK Albums Chart as well as spawning four singles including ‘Waiting For My Chance To Come’.

acclaimed catalog. During the recording of the album the band experimented with

Wireless 24

off guard. Although some saw this as a pleasant alteration in their traditional sound others

Released in March 2011 the hype was enough to send them to the UK’s summer festivals with a storm of anticipation brewing behind them. “The momentum on this record is unlike anything we've known previously… it's a story people want to hear”, Fink explains and it’s plain to see. They went from a midday slot on Reading and Leeds festival’s main stage to a co-headline slot in their NME tent in front of a crowd spanning thousands.


With the BBC cameras watching they dazzled the crowds as well as the viewers at home. Other festival appearances included T in the Park, Glastonbury and Bestival and the importance of these appearances for the band has not gone unrecognised. “The festival shows we were doing during the summer were so good”, says Fink. “They've made me think about where I can take the band”, success across the pond was a glistening prospect. Noah & The Whale are no strangers to America. Having toured there before the release of ‘LNOE’ they had a minute following wherever they would go. On their return to the States they weren’t expecting much different. “It was the first time we'd played at Salt Lake City and we'd expected to see 30 people

who were only there out of curiosity. But when we got there it was sold out and there were 500 kids going nuts. It was insane”, tells Fink joyfully. The scent of Noah & The Whale had been picked up from the UK and America was getting more than a taste for it. "It feels like it's really taking off there and because it's our third record we can really feel the difference”, explains Fink who heads back out there once the UK tour is through. He adds “we're being played on the radio and getting asked to be on the TV over there and that has had impact”, undeniably so. In true Noah & The Whale fashion it would seem that once touring is complete it’s straight back into the studio for the group to write, record and release the next installment. Fink

admits that taking a break is difficult but when you love what you do, it’s hard not to. The front man also acknowledges the American tone to ‘LNOE’ that he hopes to stray away from next time round. “A lot of themes on the album are about change, romance and the night time I think America has that open road romance to it”, says Fink. So what will this mean for album number four? “It's hard to write about England, but it's something I'd like to do”. Fans can count on a reinvention of what they’ve been hearing on the radio for the best part of a year but what remains will be the pop melodies Charles Fink and his band cannot resist and the force to lift the audience in a hall, a tent or a field onto their feet and into a party. Noah and the Whale are touring the UK throughout March & April

ence makes di au ng vi lo a ng vi ha “I know lot more” a do n ca I ke li el fe me

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s s e l e r i W ]

[MAGAZINE

sing u o H t n e d 2012 Stu Guide

It’s a common misconception that student housing is akin to living in a legalised squat, where the rats trade the mice around like currency, and the cockroaches have their own set of keys. Maybe 20 or 30 years ago all student housing was straight out of an episode of the Young Ones, but these days we expect a little bit more from our humble abode. From a shared flat in private halls, to a 16 bedroom house in studentville, you need to make your first proper time living independently a goodun. There are three important things to remember For starters, don’t just jump in anywhere feet first. Check the place out well - what is the kitchen like? has it got damp? If there is a bed already there for you, is the mattress covered in piss?! Secondly, and this is important, make sure your deposit is protected in a proper scheme. Every year thousands of students are ripped off by dodgy landlords. Don’t be one of them! Thirdly, make yourself a throne/fort out of empty beer cans. It’s a great way to procrastinate...

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buy securely online *Home Office Security Guidelines

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This furnished eight bedroom property comprises of a communal lounge, bathroom with shower and a w/c, kitchen and bedrooms 7 and 8 to the ground floor. Rooms 4, 5 and 6, a bathroom with over bath shower and w/c, and the kitchen are located on the first floor. Finally, rooms 1,2 and 3 a kitchen and bathroom with shower are situated on the second floor. Benefits include GCH and double glazing. This property is a short walk from Uplands shops, local pubs, restaurants and takeaways.

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GREG DAVIES (AKA THE MASSIVE HEADMASTER FROM THE INBETWEENERS)

Words: Khia Reynolds

Thinking back to your school years, you’ll always remember that one teacher who used to scare you senseless. If that fuse in their heads went off, you’d probably be crying profusely whilst wetting yourself. While teacher turned comedian Greg Davies will make you wet yourself, it may be for different reasons. Don’t let his 6’ 8’’ height or his frankly terrifying role as Mr Gilbert in “The Inbetweeners” fool you, Greg Davies is not scary in the slightest. In fact, Greg is basically a big kid, which you can glean from his hilarious comedy routines and sometimes rather bizarre antics on BBC3’s series “We Are Klang”. Before comedy, Greg was a drama teacher. After thirteen years of teaching, Greg decided to give comedy a go. Well, I say “decide”. Greg says that he did a short stand-up comedy course in London, he told Wireless “I'd been a teacher for years but always dreamt of doing comedy, an ex-girlfriend forced me to sign up after listening to me whinge so much”. I’d like to take this story as proof that sometimes incessant whining can be a good thing; due to Greg’s new sell-out tour and upcoming DVD it shows he belongs in this business.

said too much “I do worry I've my sister and r fo so t No s. me someti the piss over the n ke ta e 'v ey th Dad, it coming” years - they had

In 2002 Greg achieved prominence in the comedy world, with his first award; the “Laughing Horse New Act of the Year”, and was a finalist for “So You Think You’re Funny” the same year. After that, he was the winner of more awards, more nominations and therefore more audiences. Greg stopped going solo once he formed “We Are Klang” with Marek Larwood and Steve Hall, which was successful in Edinburgh, enough to get a series shown on BBC3. Now, Greg is doing his first big solo tour bizarrely called “Firing Cheeseballs at a Dog”which you do get an erm, reasonable, explanation for, at

Wireless 32


the new show.

show, I was chuffed”.

While many know him as “Mr Gilbert”, more avid fans will recognise him as part of comedy trio “We Are Klang”. The group have had four critically-acclaimed sell-out shows in Edinburgh, and their own run on BBC 3. Whilst they haven’t worked together for a while, Greg insists they have not split up, he says “We never said that we wouldn’t do it. We never officially split up. We’re just all doing other things at the moment”.

I’ve seen the show, way back in May in a relatively small theatre in Sheffield. A few months on, the show has increased in popularity, and Greg has gone on to play bigger and better venues round the UK, still making people cry with laughter at his absurdly brilliant stories. The stories in the show sometimes feature people he knows, such as exstudents, and often his family. You would imagine most would be mortified to have a relative tell stories about them on

“You get paid for talking bollocks!” You can sometimes see him teaming up with fellow comedian Rhod Gilbert, where you can see their chemistry in “Ask Rhod Gilbert” on BBC1. You can also seem him and Rhod on ‘World’s Most Dangerous Roads’, where they tackled the chaotic roads of Nepal. “Me and Rhod are really good mates and we like working together. Hopefully we’ll work together more in the future.” When speaking to Greg about comedy, it’s obvious he loves what he does, especially stand up “You get paid for talking bollocks. You can’t beat the feel of a live show. The relationship you have with the audience is exhilarating”. Like many comedians, Greg is always surprised at his audience turn out. Currently doing the last stretch of his tour, Greg says “I couldn’t believe that a lot of people saw the

stage. However, Davies believes his family can cope just fine “They are resigned to it. We’re a very close family and the fact that I talk about them a lot is an extension of that I think. My mum frequently cringes, and I do worry I've said too much sometimes. Not so for my sister and Dad, they've taken the piss over the years - they had it coming”. If I can’t encourage you to buy the DVD, Greg can. He says to anyone thinking of buying the DVD “it looks like I'm going to have a heart attack in the DVD. That is because I'm working so hard for your laughs. I'm also physically a mess but it's mainly because I'm working hard. For you. Buy it. Go on.” Greg Davies’ debut standup DVD ‘Firing Cheeseballs at a Dog’ is out now on DVD and you can find his tour dates and latest news on www.gregdavies.co.uk

Wireless Magazine is proud to offer you a

FREE

copy of Kerrang! & Empire magazine! Just text ‘KMWM’ for Kerrang! or ‘EMWM’ for Empire to 60300

Kerrang! is the world’s biggest selling weekly rock music magazine

Empire is the world’s biggest movie magazine, packed full of exclusive movie news & pics, award winning features and trusted reviews. Terms and conditions: Standard mobile charges apply. Offer only available to residents of the UK and subject to availability whilst stocks last. The offer is limited to one copy per UK address (for each magazine). Offer closes 31st March 2012.

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Wishereyou w ..? here

o r here. . ?

o r here. . ?

WIN A ROUND THE WORLD FLIGHT!!

thanks to the lovely people at

We have a humdinger of a competition for you here boys n girls! Have you ever sat there in your lecture and thought “you know what, I would much rather be driving down Route 66 right now” or maybe you’ve been watching Lord of The Rings and fancied going for a wander round the sights of New Zealand? Well, the quite frankly beautiful folk at RoundTheWorldExperts.co.uk have given us a flight ticket that will take you, quite literally around the world. Maybe in 80 days, maybe a bit less, maybe a bit more (you might meet a Hobbit and fall in love...). We have a Budget Explorer ticket (worth over £900!) to give away that stops off at London, Los Angeles, Christchurch, Auckland and Hong Kong.

Route Highlights Flying into Auckland and back up from Christchurch will allow you to make the most of your time in New Zealand without any backtracking; wind your way from the North Island to the South Island taking in all the major sights along the way; Maori culture and geothermal wonders in Rotorua, a great night out in Art Deco Wellington, the wild beauty of Abel Tasman National Park, the immense Fox and Franz Josef Glaciers, the awesome beauty of Milford Sound, skiing and scenery in Queenstown, the Scottish-feel of Dunedin and the old English ambiance of Christchurch. Fly from the vast empty spaces of sparsely populated New Zealand to the hustle and bustle of hectic Hong Kong, where you will be instantly captivated by the energy and character this city exudes. Take a trip to neighbouring island Macau, see the incredible oceanarium at Ocean Park or pick up some souvenirs from the bustling markets.

HOW TO ENTER

Simply log on to www.facebook.com/wirelessmagazine or scan the QR code, “like” the page and leave a comment on our wall telling us why you think you deserve the ticket! Our favourite ten comments will go into a draw and one name will be picked at random! Closing date for entries is 28th Feb 2011.

Terms & Conditions: The prize is one place on RTW Experts’ Budget Explorer route. Prize fare must be taken by Feb 2013. Non transferable or redeemable for cash. Employees or families of employees of Flight Centre UK Ltd & UK Student Media Ltd are not eligible for entry.

Wireless 34


HOUSE PARTY

MAGAZINE

So this month the Wireless party bus crashed into Khia Reynolds’ house in Manchester, where the lucky folks were showered with treats from the lovely people at Briska and Agwa, and much silliness was had by all. Including a giant phallic bottle opener and what we are hoping is just a lot of squirty cream....

STUDENT HOUSE?? FANCY A PARTY IN YOUR MAKE SURE TO INVITE ALL YOUR MATES....

WE’LL ARRANGE FOR THE DRINKS, FOOD & DJ - YOU JUST WHY WE SHOULD HAVE THE NEXT ONE AT YOURS! EMAIL US AT INFO@ WIRELESS-ONLINE.CO.UK AND TELL US

Wireless 35


Wireless 36


Words: Joseph Smith

The F’in F Word: Food snobbery and other such bollocks

The strange thing about being an adult is that you're expected to figure out, all by yourself, what 'being an adult' means. But how do you kill the middle 40 years of your life? For a lot of people adulthood means going to work, paying road tax, getting a mortgage, and perhaps making a contribution to the world's overpopulation problem. Far from fulfilling people's lives these activities often serve to make them more miserable, so that they then resort to all kinds of silly shit like trying to impress their friends by reproducing recipes from a celebrity cookbook. Contrary to the depressing tangent we went reeling off on during the introduction, this article is about food and I'd like to start it by saying I love food. It's great. Like air, it keeps me alive which is why I trust it more than any human being, but this doesn't warrant the kind of arse-sucking idolization food has come to enjoy. Cookery books used to be a shit Christmas present for v a l i u m - a d d i c t e d housewives,

their ability to chop shit up and use an oven. How has the nation become so consumed by something so wrist-slittingly mediocre? Well hold on to your flambĂŠs people, because I have answers: 1. Cookery shows are cheap to produce in a climate of low ad revenue while still being drearily watchable. When toy advertising became virtually illegal almost all Saturday morning cartoons were replaced by telly that was more vacuous and cheaper to film than stand-up comedy. 2. Ponsed-up nutrition is a good way of making material profit from a biological necessity. In the same way that the price of shit art sky-rocketed during the early nineties (here's looking at you Damien Hurst), attaching cultural significance to food justified restaurants charging extortionate prices for what is essentially just plates of mushed-up organic matter. There have even been genuine attempts to jar and sell fresh air (I'm not even fucking joking). Similarly, anybody w h o believes that wine tasting is a worthwhile pursuit has fallen for the medieval aristocracy's method of bottling up non-taxable capital. Incidentally, no wine tastes as good as Ribena.

ine Incidentally, no w ibena tastes as good as R b u t now their target audience is younger and much trendier, the type of person who seeks out new experiences like taking a gap yah to inflict their boredom upon third world countries. Gordon Ramsay and Jamie Oliver have made millions on the back of

3. Food is counterfeit

intellectuality for stupid people. During the wild materialism of the 80's the rich needed a way of seeming cultured without necessarily having the intelligence of reading a book. Ballet, theatre, opera; none of them were quite as easy as tucking into a crème brulee. From now on your intelligence wasn't judged on your ability to understand abstract ideas but on whether you could tell the difference between sushi and sashimi. Interestingly, before the 80's the only country who put so much significance into their food was France. Although dishes like snails and frogs' legs are now considered delicacies, during the French revolution when these dishes came to be, there was very little else for peasants to eat. The French love affair with food has so much to do with class war, it's ironic that the British now see cookery books as their gateway to higher living. Cooking may be a worthwhile skill, but only in the interests of sensory indulgence. Putting it on the same pedestal as fine art is wankery of the highest order. And, for that matter, anyone who says that sushi tastes better than a Big Mac is a fucking liar.

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Words: Dave Lightfoot

On The Big Screen

The best bits at the pictures this month.

Rampart Out Feb 24th

Fans of 2009’s cult classic Zombieland will be glad to see a gun toting Woody Harrelson return to the screen. This time Harrelson plays a much darker role as Dave Brown, a Vietnam vet and corrupt L.A cop. Browns old school brand of bad cop bad cop soon land him in the shit and presumably this is when it all kicks off. Support roles from — Ben Foster, Ice Cube, Anne Heche, Robin Wright, Sigourney Weaver, Cynthia Nixon, Ned Beatty and Steve Buscemi. It’s a screenplay written by James Ellroy (L.A. Confidential), directed by Oren Moverman (The Messenger).

Black Gold Out Feb 24th

This promises to be in interesting look at an often overlooked topic. Based loosely on Hans R. Ruesch’s 1957 novel “South Of The Heart: A Novel Of Modern Arabia” The film focusses on the infighting between Arabian tribes after the first discoveries of Oil in the 1930’s. The film fields a strong cast lead by with Antonio Banderas and Mark Strong and is directed by Jean-Jacques Annaud (Enemy at the Gates, Seven Years in Tibet).

Safehouse Out Feb 24th

Denzel Washington and Ryan Reynolds pair up in a classic espionage thriller. Washington takes the role of an old school CIA general bad ass who probably has a problem with authority. Sounds like a character that’ll need a newbie general wet fart to bounce off. Well you won’t be disappointed. Car chases and high mortality rates probable. Maybe they find out who’s after them, maybe not.

For more film previews, reviews and ticket giveaways visit www.wirelessmagazine.co.uk Wireless 38


WORDS: Tanya Harris

BOMBAY BICYCLE CLUB

Bombay Bicycle Club’s newest album A Different Kind of Fix is dripping with pop rhythms and layered with electro beats. Their fun lyrics and bursts of energy make them a refreshing band on the current music scene. Wireless caught up with bassist Ed Nash to discuss the fans, the future and the ‘fucking weird’ production of Ben Allen. Cast your mind back to 2006. Your ears were being harassed by McFly’s cheesy pop version of Don’t Stop Me

Now, Justin Timberlake’s catchy catastrophe Sexy Back and who could forget Chico’s invention of his very own time? But under the surface a young band were about to break through. In North London four school chums Ed, Jack Steadman, Jamie MacColl and Suren De Saram came together at the tender age of just 15. They began banging out their own musical creations before taking Channel 4’s ‘Road to V’ festival by storm. They beat favourites The Holloways to the number one spot and were rewarded with the

opening slot at V Festival. And all before they had finished their GCSEs.

When asked his opinions on their early rise to fame Ed says “I don’t think about it. I think there’s probably good things and bad things about it. People used to write about and talk about our age all the time which I think we all got frustrated by after a bit. We were releasing songs in the public eyes which I don’t think is necessarily a bad thing but it means you have to

Wireless 39


develop in front of the public. But then on the flip side we were and still are very young and have a lot of energy.” The band were prolific. Their material was coming out fast and furiously. The year after their big break they released two EP’s and started work on their debut album I Had The Blues But I Shook Them Off, which went gold in 2009. They had made

In 2010 their second album Flaws threw off the shackles of any previous expectations. Largely acoustic and with a folk sound the media and fans alike were taken by surprise. “To be honest we were surprised that we got such a good reaction to Flaws” Ed told us. “It was us going back to our roots. When we were doing Flaws it was literally the opposite

“I think people are into the fact that we change our sound around. I personally find it very boring if a band makes the same record three times...” to what we’re doing now their stamp on the record industry and cut away from their contemporaries. But far be it for them to sit back and enjoy the media attention. They were on their feet again before the ink of the congratulatory NME article was even dry.

Wireless 40

andpeople still stuck with us” happily adding “we have the best fans ever”. Later that year Flaws was silver certified after selling over 60,000 copies and was nominated for the 2011 Ivor Novello best album award. However their genrehopping ways would prove to

be a continual problem for music store stockists across the country. The buzzing A Different Kind of Class was a return to their earlier electric trend: “We kind of picked up where we left off from the first album.” How Can You Swallow So Much Sleep is a strong opening track with a dreamy, lingering atmosphere. It even appeared on the Twilight: Eclipse soundtrack alongside Cee Lo Green, Muse and Florence & The Machine. The single ‘Shuffle’ is filled with rhythmic layers which are reminiscent of 80’s funk and shows clear influence from Talking Heads classics. Whereas ‘Lights Out, Words Gone’ is a captivatingly subdued little gem. “I think people are into the fact that we change our sound around. I personally find it very boring if a band makes the same record three times and tries to recapture what they had on the first one. I


think it’s good to vary.” This album is a far cry from Flaws. Not even Ed has a clue as we discovered when we asked about their future sound: “I have no idea. If you asked me that after doing the first album I wouldn’t have guessed in a million years that we would record an acoustic album then do an electric album. I honestly have no idea. It’s not planned at all. Everyone changes and what they’re into changes. You develop like a painter. You’re not going to paint the same picture for the rest of your life.” Jim Abbis, who has worked with the likes of Arctic Monkeys and Kasabian produced the album and threw his own direction into the mix: “I think producers definitely have a big influence. They have their own sound. Producers work incredibly differently. They have

different methods of doing things. They also help you structure songs, so songs could go in a different way depending on who you work with.” “I just enjoy it. It’s Ben Allen came my favourite thing along for the ride in the world....” too and took the they’re set to hit Ireland three tracks Your Eyes, and China. They’ve already Favourite Day and Shuffle announced another UK tour under his wing. Ed says “Ben and have their fingers Allen only produced three crossed for a return to songs but I think the ones he America next year. Their did he added a lot of texture hearts truly lie in playing and sounds that we would live and they’re itching to have not necessarily put in get crowds pumping all ourselves. He is very good across the world. Ed at making catchy pop songs declared “playing live is but with a weird twist. Like definitely my favourite by that Animal Collective far. Well, that’s why we album he did. They’re great started doing this and I pop songs and they’re cool don’t know but I think that’s but they’re fucking weird as why people got into us in well.” the beginning, because we enjoy playing live and the Bombay Bicycle Club have a live shows are incredibly hell of a lot of shows on fun. I just enjoy it. It’s my their cards. Along with the favourite thing in the current European tour world.”

Wireless 41


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THIS MONTH... . What’s happening around the region.. Monday 23rd January

Bristol: The Louisiana: Howler Bristol: The Fleece: Honour Among Thieves Cardiff: Clwb Ifor Bach: This Time Next Year Cardiff: Buffalo Bar: BOE Swansea: Swansea Uni Student Union: Stooshe Tuesday 24th January Bristol: Colston Hall: Paul Carrack Cardiff: Buffalo Bar: Gauntlet Hair Cardiff: The Globe: Radio Clash Wednesday 25th January

Bristol: The Louisiana: Evacuees Bristol: Thekla: La Dispute Cardiff: The Globe: Band

SEND US YOUR LISTINGS

listingssw@ukstudentmedia.net

Night Cardiff: St David's Hall: Paul Carrick Swansea: St James Club: Simon Allen Quintet Thursday 26th January

All Time Low Cardiff SU 29th Jan // Mole's Bristol Academy 30th Jan

Bath: Club: Casiokids Bristol: The Fleece: Rovoker Bristol: Thekla: Concrete Knives Cardiff: St David's Hall: Omid Djalili Cardiff: Clwb Ifor Bach: Canterbury Cardiff: The Globe: Babybird Friday 27th January Bristol: Thekla: Wild Flag

HIGHLIGHTS & LOW POINTS BRISTOL

Dog Is Dead – 21st Feb @ Thekla – Featured in Wireless Ones To Watch this month, definitely worth a still cheap.

Dog Is Dead: Shortly after this photo was taken, the llama on the right joined on keyboards. True story.

watch while the tickets are

NME Awards Tour 2012 – 20th Feb @ O2 Academy – Check out the latest NME steam roller of music you should be buying. Includes Two Door Cinema Club, Metronomy and Tribes and some other guys in skinny jeans (called Azealia Banks, they’re in our Ones To Watch list) The Big Pink – 4th Feb @ Bristol Uni – Love em or hate em, you’ll have that bloody Dominoes song stuck in your head for ages. In fact it’s probably stuck there now. These girls fall like dominos, dominos, dominos. Yeah, that’s that sorted. The Horrors – 20th Jan @

Trinity Centre – This gig was moved from December and all tickets are still valid. Phew. The Horrors recently topped a poll in ‘Band Most Whatever you Likely To Make Another Hole The Horrors: a match. do, don’t light In the Ozone Layer’.

Bristol: The Croft: Sheer Terror Cardiff: Motorpoint Arena: Katherine Jenkins Cardiff: Buffalo Bar: Howler Cardiff: Clwb Ifor Bach: Jay Orbison Swansea: Sin City: Canterbury Saturday 28th January Bristol: Academy: Mr Scruff Bristol: Brunel's Old Station: The Mangled wurzels Swansea: Grand Theatre: Omid Djalili Swansea: The Abartawe Alehouse: The Underdogs

Sunday 29th January Bristol: Colston Hall: Omid Djalili Bristol: Academy: Boys II Men Cardiff: 10 Feet Tall: Alejandro Toledo and the Magic Tombolinos Cardiff: Cardiff University Student Union: All Time Low Cardiff: The Gate: Germaine Greer

Monday 30th January Bristol: Academy: All Time Low Bristol: The Fleece: Pink Crudge Caravan Cardiff: The Yard Barn And Kitchen: Open Mic Night Tuesday 31st January Bristol: The Fleece: Curse

Wireless 43


HIGHLIGHTS & LOW POINTS CARDIFF

Howler – 27th Jan @ Buffalo Bar - Brilliant indie band whoThe Maccabees: International we reckon are gonna be biggerStare Out Contest title 2007. than Jesus in 2012. Not asholders since popular, but height wise they’ll be massive in comparison. Me And You Club - Saturdays @ Ten Feet Tall Always a good night in here, the best place to get your dirty indie rock n roll fix on a Saturday night.

Friday 3rd Feb

All Time Low - 29th Jan @

Cardiff SU - More bouncy and catchy than a spacehopper riddled with stds.

Katherine Jenkins – 27th Jan @ The Motorpoint Arena – What better way to test out that pair binoculars you got at Christmas. Cracking set of …… pipes. Olly Murs – 1st Feb @ arena – Bell end.

Motorpoint

– 25th Feb @ St David’s Hall – Cancelled ….. Score! David Hasselhoff:

World class tool.

Wireless 44

Bath: Chapel Arts Centre: Kent Duchaine Bristol: Anson Rooms: Roots Mavuba Bristol: Academy: Ramshackle Cardiff: The Globe: The Lambrettas

Saturday 4th Feb

An Evening David Hasselhoff

You Damn Kids Bristol: Academy: Panic At The Disco Cardiff: Clwb Ifor Bach: Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs Cardiff: St David's Hall: Thin Lizzy Cardiff: Motorpoint Arena: Olly Murs Cardiff: The Glee Club: Argent Swansea: St James Club:

Bath: Komedia: Terry Alderton Bristol: Thekla: Hanni El Khatib Bristol: The Louisiana: No Coast Cardiff: Motorpoint Arena: Olly Murs Cardiff: Clwb Ifor Bach: La Dispute Cardiff: Cardiff Uni Students Union: Bedlam Swansea: Grand Theatre: The Guns & Roses Experience

Monthly Sitters In Night

Wednesday 1st Feb Bristol: The Fleece: These Reigning Days Swansea: Grand Theatre: Rumours Of Fleetwood Mac Swansea: St James Club: David Cottle Trio Thursday 2nd Feb Bath: Chapel Arts Centre: Petra Jean Phillipson

Bath: Chapel Arts Centre: Helena Blackman Bath: The Sink: Quiz and Pizza night Bristol: The Tunnels: 2 Rude Bristol: The Fleece: Doreen Doreen Cardiff: Cardiff Uni Students Union: Bedlam Swansea: Talisen Arts Centre: Jacqui Dankworth

Sunday 5th Feb Bristol: Academy: Mastadon Bristol: The Fleece: Jon Hopkins Cardiff: St David's Hall:


Straight No Chaser Cardiff: 10 Feet Tall: Paul Kelly Cardiff: The Globe: The Smiths Indeed Monday 6th Feb Bath: Komedia: Macka B + Roots Reggae Band Bristol: Colston Hall: Katherine Jenkins Bristol: The Fleece: Misfits Tuesday 7th Feb Bristol: Thekla: Imaginary Friend Bristol: The Fleece: Alestorm Cardiff: Clwb Ifor Bach: Hyro Da Hero Cardiff: New Theatre: Star Quality Wednesday 8th Feb

Bristol: Academy: Brand New Bristol: Thekla: The Big Pink Cardiff: 10 Feet Tall: Thomas Traux Cardiff: New Theatre: Star Quality Swansea: St James Club: Jim Mullen Quartet

Thursday 9th Feb Bath: Komedia: Richard Herring Bristol: Acadamy: NME Awards ft Justice Bristol: The Louisiana: Still Corners Cardiff: New Theatre: Star Quality Friday 10th Feb

Bristol: The Fleece: Babybird Bristol: The Tunnels: Limehouse Lizzy Cardiff: Motorpoint Arena: Holiday On Ice Cardiff: New Theatre: Star Quality Cardiff: Buffalo Bar: Ram's Pocket Radio Bath: The Pavillion: The Mangledqurzels Saturday 11th Feb Bath: The Pavillion: The Mangledqurzels Bristol: Thekla: Decade

Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs Cardiff Clwb Ifor Bach 31st Jan Bristol: Academy: Grooverider Cardiff: Cardiff University Students Union: Kerrang Tour ft New Found Glory and The Blackout Cardiff: New Theatre: Star Quality Sunday 12th Feb

Bristol: Academy: Shinedown Cardiff: Millennium Stadium: Six Nations Rugby Wales V Scotland Cardiff: Undertone: The

Neat Monday 13th Feb

Bristol: Colston Hall: James Morrison Bristol: The Cooler: Outfit Cardiff: Clwb Ifor Bach: Errors Swansea: Grand Theatre: Magic of The Beatles Tuesday 14th Feb

Bristol: The Fleece: Errors Cardiff: Clwb Ifor Bach: Attack! Attack!

HIGHLIGHTS & LOW POINTS BATH Richard Herring – 9th Feb @ Komedia - A bit like watching Lee and Herring but without the bits that make you want to punch the government or jump off a bridge. Richard Herring: Christ on a bike.

Casio Kids – 26th Jan @ Mole's Club – Norwegian synth pop. You’d imagine this is what music will sound like in the future when we have flying cars and robot butlers. Young Guns - 15th Feb @ Mole's Club – Music to set your bed on fire to. Quiffs and tight pants a go go. Benjamin Francis Leftwich – 21st Feb @ Komedia – A true master class in what not to call your infant child. Nice songs though. Gigs @ Bath in general – We missing something obvious? There seems to be a general lack of shows around the area. Would you like us to start promoting live music here? Wireless 47


Wednesday 15th Feb

Bath: Mole's Club: Young Guns Bath: Komedia: Fink Bristol: The Louisiana: Kiss Your Commander Bristol: Hippodrome: Strictly Gerwish Cardiff: Clwb Ifor Bach: Lights Cardiff: Motorpoint Arena: Strictly Come Dancing Swansea: St James Club: Centre Line Thursday 16th Feb Bath: Chapel Arts Centre: Son Of Eagle Bristol: Thekla: Midnight Lion

Bristol: The Fleece: Phantom Limb Cardiff: St David's Hall: Rumours Of Fleetwood Mac Cardiff: Motorpoint Arena: Strictly Come Dancing Swansea: Grand Theatre: UK Pink Floyd Experience Friday 17th Feb Bristol: Full Moon: Blackfire Bristol: Fire Engine: The Mangled Wurzels Cardiff: Bogiez: Black Rain And Black Stars Cardiff: Masonic Hall: Song Rectical 5 Cardiff: Bubba's Place: Tony Breen Band

HIGHLIGHTS & LOW POINTS SWANSEA

Brother and Bones – 25th Feb @ Sin City – A Collaboration of musicians and Brother and Bones: Much a r t i s t s f e a t u r i n g l e a d more interesting than this vocalist and songwriter Richard photo suggests. Thomas. Sarah Millican – 28th Feb @ Grand Theatre – Geordie sounding high pitched comedian. Maybe she will do a funny. Sometimes she talks about ladybits. Rumours of Fleetwood Mac

– 1st Feb @ Grand

Theatre – Sounds optimistic but perhaps they will show up.

Stooshe – 23rd Feb @ Swansea SU – Quick, this might be your last chance to see to these girls before they go Stooshe: Pop’s answerwouldn’t Except you te. Marmi back to their jobs at Lidl. let them near your toast.

Wireless 48

GZA Bristol O2 Academy 18th Feb Saturday 18th Feb Bath: Chapel Arts Centre: Ahab Bristol: The Tunnels: Kevin Montgomery Bristol: The Louisiana: Forestears Bristol: O2 Academy: GZA (Wu Tang Clan) Cardiff: Buffalo Bar: Gauntlet Hair Cardiff: The Globe: Radio Clash Swansea: The Garage: Jon Gomm Sunday 18th Feb

Bristol: The Croft: Gauntlet Hair Bristol: The Tunnels: The Wiyos Bristol: The Louisiana: Lonely Dear Cardiff: St David's Hall: Lee Mead Cardiff: Bubba's Place: Tony Breen Band If we’ve forgotten about you, don’t despair. It’ll be ok. Just email your gigs, clubnights and events to us at listingssw@ukstudentmedia.net Nice one! (Please don’t use this email address to send us anything other than listings. Unless it’s really, really important.)


Words: Laura Griffiths & Tom Johnson

2012

H C T A W O T S E N O E TH

Not to put a downer on this feature, but generally speaking everyone knows that 2012 is the year when the world is going to go tits up and we’re all going to have to live in a big fuck off ark and endure the rapture. Or something along those lines anyway. So, while we wait for our impending doom, we might as well give some of the best new bands and artists a listen albeit for a mere 12 months before Louis Spence reveals himself as the Dark Lord himself...

of BBC's Sound of 2012, which is kind of Who’s that aWinner big deal, soulful ‘one man and his guitar’ then? kind of guy.

Sounds like...?

Jazz flutes, melodic guitar riffs and a voice that’s been compared to Bill Withers. Not bad. Pretty much everywhere from late January

Playing? through to Feb.

Michael Kiwanuka

Gimme some www.michaelkiwanuka.com mo... ‘Tell Me A Tale’ has that Motown inspired feel Stand out and tricks you into thinking it’s summer track. already.

Who’s that then?

London based 5 piece who look like a post punk band yet actually sound quite folky.

Sounds like...?

Mumford and Sons but with the epic build ups of Biffy Clyro and the occasional falsetto vocals of Muse.

Playing?

February and April

Gimme some www.facebook.com/drytheriver for tour dates. mo... Stand out track.

‘No Rest’ – You’ll see the Biffy thing when the drums come in. It’s quite good actually.

Dry The River

Did you know...? Previous winners of BBC’s Sound of 2012 have included Adele, Ellie

Goulding, Keane and most recently Jessie J. So we guess they know what they are talking about! Wireless 49


Who’s that 5 piece from London who enjoy wearing Buddy Holly-esque glasses and springing then? about on stage to synthy guitar tunes.

Sounds like...?

Pulp mixed with Arcade Fire and a bit of the Vaccines thrown into the pot.

Playing?

Headlining this Feb and supporting Florence + The Machine in March.

Gimme some www.spector.co.uk mo... Stand out Has to be ‘Chevy Thunder’. Chevy, Chevy Thunder! track.

Who’s that then?

Sounds like...?

Niki and The Dove

Playing?

Spector

Flamboyant Swedish electro pop trio. Niki doesn’t actually exist. According to them; ‘Clique-qlockue, swwwwwizzzzzschhhhh, riffs, choir, hand flute, handclap, big drum, small drum.’ To us; catchier more digestible version of Bjork. This February and releasing an album mid May.

Gimme some www.facebook.com/nikiandthedove mo...

‘DJ, Ease My Mind’ is slightly haunting song Stand out track. but has that undeniable euro charm to it.

Who’s that Reminds us of a guy you’d find doing his rounds of your local acoustic circuit only then? he has a ‘Next Big Thing’ award nomination from Q to back it up.

Sounds like...?

A non - whiney Paulo Nutini with an electric guitar.

Playing?

Few intimate Camden gigs in Feb.

Gimme some www.youtube.com/murrayjamesvevo mo... Stand out track: ‘Protect Me’ actually

Stand out makes your shoulders want to move a bit. Oh track.

Murray James

Who’s that then? Bunch of gobby cockney girls talking about ‘the streets yeah?’

Stooshe Wireless 50

Sounds like...?

Basically your typical girl band but with added swearing.

Playing?

Jan/Feb – Wait, this isn’t a joke? The thought of the crowd scares us a little.

Gimme some mo... www.youtube.com/stooshetv - Purely for the laughs/suicide.


Who’s that American surf rock band whose lead singer was named one of the then? ’50 Coolest People of 2011’ by NME.

Sounds like...?

Playing?

UK dates Jan/Feb

Gimme some www.howlerband.com mo... Stand out ‘Back of Your Neck’ track.

Howler Former

The Strokes/The Vaccines with more Beach Boys-y surfy ‘Oo Oo Ooo’.

scene

kid

and

ex-

Who’s that metalcore singer Sonny Moore then? tries his hand at dub step.

Sounds like...?

A mish mash of early Pendulum and a hint of Chase and Status or Daft Punk, but not really. You’ll know what we mean when you hear him!

Playing? Gimme some mo... Stand out track.

UK dates throughout Feb.

Skrillex

Skrillex

www.skrillex.com

‘First of the Year’. The freaky little girl in the music video scared us into choosing this.

Female

fronted

Brooklyn

Who’s that based quintet, named after then? Brian Wilson’s favourite Beach Boys album.

Friends

Sounds like...?

Dirty pop music, if you like Foster The People you’d probably like this lot.

Playing?

A few UK dates early Feb

Gimme some www.myspace.com/friends mo...

‘I’m His Girl’ is a lovely

Stand out slice of lo-fi 80's girly track. psychedelic funk.

Who’s that Hip hop’s great new hope, and she’s a girl! then? Like Jay-Z, if he had no balls. Not Sounds metaphoric balls. Actual balls. She’s got like...? quite the potty mouth on her too.

Playing? UK dates early Feb Gimme some www.myspace.com/azealiabanks mo... Stand out Single ‘212' is a gritty hip hop track with a techno edge to it. track.

Azaelia Banks Wireless 51


This Month in the S.U

Some events that are happening in or around your general proximity.

Bath Uni Refreshers Fair Tues 6th - Sun 11th Feb FREE ENTRY

Bristol Uni

If like me you spent your first academic term eating pies, Pot Noodles and all that lovely stuff you are by now, no doubt, fucking massive. So why not use this as your chance to find a more suitable society or sporting activity. Perhaps badminton was your thing back in September, why not now have a look at being a Rugby Prop forward. If you have lost any teeth over the first term you also qualify to play as a Rugby Hooker (typically defined as a short and angry looking with missing teeth). Does Bath have Sumo wrestling? Take a picture with a copy of the mag if you are a Sumo Student wrestler.

Love Food Valentines 12th Feb Festival Sunday 10.30am – 4pm FREE ENTRY

After reading the absolute filth that is Wireless Magazine, we thought you folk in Bristol might fancy a nice chilled out day sipping tea and sampling pastries. Perhaps a bit of a family occasion, but why not take along that special person with opposite or matching genitals. There will be a string quartet and plenty of food related activities to get involved with.

Cardiff Uni Dr Who Convention In March, not February. Sack the editor.

Not quite news for February but you can start getting excited for the Doctor Who convention coming to town next month. Now you have a proper excuse to stay at home playing with your sonic screwdriver. Matt Smith will be in attendance provided he can get a permit for his large head. Unlike the TARDIS, Matt's head is also massive on the outside. Please feel free to tweet your comments on Matt's head: @thatblokefromdoctorwhohasafuckingmassiv ehead

Wireless 53


UWIC Cardiff Gossip

Every Wed @ Glam 10pm - 3am • £3.50 entry

The Capital’s newest student night is the place to be if you want to get drunk, dance like a bellend, pull a hottie and talk bollocks to strangers in the toilets. All the big singalong classics alongside some other booty shaking anthems. All your mates will be talking about it on Thursday...

Swansea Uni Sin Savers Every Thurs @ Sin City 10pm - 3am • £3 entry

Probably the cheapest, cheesiest and most enjoyable way to spend your Thursday night. If you fancy a boogie and you’ve only got a few quid to your name, this is almost certainly the way forward. Cheap drinks and massive tunes a go go....

Wireless 54

shockerwick studio Recording Studio and Rehearsal Rooms Purpose built Recording Studio and Live Rooms Rehearsal Rooms Run by professionals with a lot of experience in the music industry All our recordings are of Radio Quality

www.shockerwickstudios.co.uk Shockerwick Studios, Bath 01225 859290 •07866 206364 info@shockerwickstudios.co.uk


Wireless Magazine Jan / Feb 2012 - South West Edition  

Wireless Magazine January / February 2012 - South West Edition

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