E!!! V I S U L C X E
Noah and the Whale ALSO IN THIS ISSUE:
JOHN COOPER CLARKE INTERVIEW estions To We Put Your Qu
WRETCH 32 ONLINE
PLUS: PIGEON DETECTIVES // BURGER DUEL SUMMER DAYS OUT // JOHN PEEL WORLD CUP STUDYING ABROAD // THINGS AMERICA HAS RIGHT!
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Rejoice dear readers! The deadlines are over, the lectures are vanquished and the exams seem like hazy drunken memories. Could it be that you’ve survived till the end of term? It’s true! The summer is finally upon us and all that’s left for you to do is spend the remnants of your loan on a crate of scrumptious cider and kick back with your favourite free student music and lifestyle magazine. Here’s a list of some of the kick-ass features and interviews we’ve got lined up this month...
Summer 2013 Edition
In this issue.... The Latest News
This Month, We Will Be... 06
Noah & The Whale 12-13
Studying Abroad 14-15
Things America Has Right 16
John Peel World Cup 18-19
John Cooper Clarke 20-21
Wretch 32 Interview 26-27
Summer Days Out 30-31
WHAT’S ON GUIDE - PIGEON DETECTIVES - FILM & GAME PREVIEWS LIVERPOOL BEER EXPO - ROSKILDE FESTIVAL - SUPERMAN COMPETITION
Wireless Ticket Shop 33
This publication is aimed at people over the age of 18, due to the nature of its content. If you are under 18, we suggest you put this magazine down and pick up a copy of Kerrang or Seventeen or something. Sorry about that, our lawyers told us to tell you. Whilst every care has been taken to ensure that the data in this publication is accurate, neither the publisher nor its editorial contributors can accept any liability to any party or loss or damage caused by errors or omissions resulting from negligence, accident or any other cause.
The pages of Wireless Magazine are hand-stapled by the dainty fingers of blind nuns in the mountainous issue.... North Kowloon region of Hong Kong. PUBLISHED BY UK STUDENT MEDIA LTD Head Honcho: Andy Scott Telephone 0151 345 3803 Editor: Joseph Smith Advertising: Contributors: Lauren Rose-Williams, Gazz Wood, Rachel Ferguson, firstname.lastname@example.org Matt Gammond, Michael Glynn, Dave Lightfoot, Nathan Simm. Editorial: Design: Rob Armstrong, Chris Law Photos: Star File, Chuff Media email@example.com Big thanks to: Liverpool Soundcity, APB PR, The Musicians’ Union, Lisa McNab at Naz Promotions, Phil Jones, Johnny Green, Ke$ha, Purple PR, No Fear Energy, Hayley Connelly at Little Press, Liverpool Craft Beer Expo & last but not least, TV21 in Manchester for the GIANT burger. Also in this
Wireless Magazine (Region) ISSN xxxx-xxxx
Simpsons Writer to write Angry Birds Movie
One of The Simpsons’ most prolific writers has been recruited to produce a script for the forth-coming Angry Birds movie. John Vitti is credited on 25 episodes of the Simpsons and has also contributed to King of the Hill and The Office. The hugely popular smart phone and tablet game Angry Birds has been downloaded over a billion times and its makers, Rovio Entertainment, announced last December that the franchise would extend to a 3D animated movie. Fans have a long wait ahead of them however, with the films expected release date in July 2016..
Ke$ha Drinks Piss, Causes Outrage Insane pop singer Ke$ha has been reprimanded by the Parents Television Council after she ingested her urine on her own MTV reality show. The council warned viewers of content it described as “disgusting and vile” before the show was aired. Other things Ke$ha has done for attention include co-writing a song with her mum about her vagina and claiming to have sex with a ghost.
TV host Drinks Breast Milk, Causes More Outrage
Pot-Bellied Pigs Pile On The Pounds
Dutch TV host Paul de Leeuw has been reprimanded by critics after he ingested milk directly from a guest’s breast on his talk show. The creepy comedian was interviewing women from a charity which organizes breast milk exchanges between mothers.
Seattle farmers are experimenting with feeding their pigs marijuana as lawmakers c o n s i d e r establishing a legal recreational market for the
De Leeuw commented that the woman’s second breast tasted better although he could taste that she’d been eating asparagus.
drug. Pigs whose food was supplemented with the unused leaves and stems from cannabis plants gained up to 30 pounds more weight than animals eating regular feed. It’s as yet unknown whether the stoned porkers tasted any better as a result.
Cambridge Students Stumped by Trick Question Cambridge students who took a physics exam were left mulling over a question for over an hour until one student pointed out that the question was unanswerable. The problem on the 2nd year natural sciences paper was missing a vital ‘i’ symbol. The exam body AQA has apologised and the 300 people who sat the exam were awarded full marks for the question.
A QUICK WORD WITH: The Pigeon Detectives’
Is there anything interesting or peculiar that’s happened on tour so far? Interesting or peculiar? Erm... my trousers seem to have taken on a life of their own! I don’t know what cut of jeans I’ve got but yeah kind of midway between songs I find them slipping further and further down, it’s happened at every single gig so far. You’ve been together nine years, and you still enjoy each other’s company? Yeah well we met when we were 6 years old at Primary school so we’ve been in each other’s company the best past of 25 years now. The thing we enjoy most is coming on tour and us hanging out it’s a bit of a boy’s club really. Where is your favourite place to play? I love playing at festivals, Glastonbury was an eye opener; it really had the wow factor. Leeds festival was one of my favourite ever gigs ‘cos I’ve gone to the Leeds festival from the age of 16 so to finally play there was pretty amazing. What are your plans for the future? Well we’re in the middle of touring this record. On the back of this tour were heading to Europe. We will probably be back in the Japanese market again then over to America where we’ve got all the Summer festivals to look forward to. Words By Lauren-Rose Williams
The Album ‘We Met At Sea’ is out now.
This Summer, we will be mostly... ...listening to Queens of the Stone Age ...Like Clockwork Released 4th June
The Queenie boys have finally started to r e l e a s e material from their forthcoming album in the form of a series of creepy Youtube shorts which feature a cast of gruesome characters meeting grisly ends. The music itself is predictably unpredictable, and it’s certainly not the Songs For The Deaf that the fans were hoping for. Instead we find that Josh Homme has, dare I say it, grown up a bit and opted for intricate riffery over sheer power of distortion. It’s not like anything QOTSA have done before, but we happen to love it.
Kanye West – Yeezus Released 18th June
Kanye West may not be the genius he believes he is, especially not in field of public relations, but few can deny that his career so far has played a huge part in changing the face of rap music. His hugely anticipated new record has about a zillion 06
collaborators if the reports are to be believed and among those confirmed are Daft Punk and Skrillex.
The Lonely Island – The Wack Album
Released 11th June
Comedy bands can get unfunny really fast ( h e r e ’ s looking at you Tenacious D), but The Lonely Island have had an astoundingly consistent run so far, not least because of the top class production, A-list collaborators and the fact that they are actually really good rappers.
...and a classic De La Soul – 3 Feet High And Rising What better way to get in the mood for summer then listening to this sun-soaked hip hop classic from 1989? De La Soul’s first collaboration with producer Prince Paul regularly features in the top ten of all time greatest albums lists and was so innovative as to be labelled the “Sgt. Pepper” of hip hop. The single ‘Me, Myself and I’ is brimming with feel good vibes and you can get sunburnt just listening to it.
...going to see Man Of Steel Released 14th June
Super Hero films are notoriously hit or miss (perhaps usually more often miss) and cinemas have become absolutely saturated with them in recent years, but something tells us that the new Super Man flick is going to be something a bit special. Why you ask? Have you seen the freaking trailers?
...relaxing ...now that exams are over with. When you’re a student Summer is a great time to enjoy the simple pleasures in life like filling up the country’s parks, bothering the third world and watching endless box sets of the Sopranos in your parents’ house. Waking up in time for midday lectures turns into waking up in time to catch the 8pm repeat of QI on Dave. Come September your body clock will be so messed up that you’ll have to drink gallons of coffee just to see sunlight. These are the best times of your life...
Are you serious?
£20 Playing live, writing or recording? Join us for a special student rate and receive: – – – – – –
Free instrument insurance Career and business advice Rights protection Free contract and partnership advice £10 million public liability cover Legal advice and assistance
The network of 30,000 musicians across the UK
A career in music? Don’t go out alone. The music industry promises great rewards whatever your background, style or genre and in the modern world it has never been easier to get yourself heard. But for the initiated, it can also be a mineﬁeld to negotiate and understand a myriad of contracts, rights and agreements, fees and rates. How can you be sure to protect your most precious assets: you and your music? What happens when you start creeping up the bill at the pub gigs, or you want to release your ﬁrst single online or 08
the jazz festival asks you to play for free or that wedding booking for your string quartet falls through at the last minute and you’ve already paid for your travel and overnight accommodation? Best be prepared whether you’re a weekend gig warrior, dreaming of stadium stardom or writing, recording and releasing. Help is at hand. And as a full time student you will be eligible for some incredible support and at an incredible rate. The Musicians’ Union (MU) has been helping musicians for 120 years get a foot on
the ladder, make the most of career opportunities, protect their rights and interests and campaign on their behalf in the industry. Hundreds of name musicians are members; on every type of instrument, in every ﬁeld and in every genre. Aware of the timeless value of membership, many of these musicians joined when starting out and stay MU members throughout their working lives. As Jimmy Page says, ‘Would I have made it without the MU? Probably. If I was starting out again would I still join? Deﬁnitely.’
Once out into the business world, this support becomes increasingly vital as musicians face the challenge of developing business skills, making contacts, handling management, ﬁling accounts and learning about deals and rights. Whether looking to work in the live arena, in the recording world, as a teacher or writer/ composer, the Union’s highly-respected range of services ensure all members - from student to experienced professional - have the peace of mind that they have a powerful and inﬂuential organisation behind them. And unlike other industry advisors, the MU’s only agenda is your agenda. So if as a student you are already co-writing, in any kind of band, recording, or in a production team, you will
beneﬁt from the Union’s crucial help with band names, writing agreements, embryonic gigs and so much more. ‘People sometimes don’t realise just how cut throat the music industry can be. The MU ﬁght in the corner of musicians, providing invaluable support, information, insurance and legal aid. If you’ve ever taken to a stage, you should have the MU with you.’ Jamie Jazz, The King Blues Whether into folk, jazz, hip hop, dubstep, indie, metal, rock or orchestral music, students will always ﬁnd like-minded people with years of experience and expertise in the MU. For a single payment of just £20 a year, students in fulltime education can beneﬁt from membership of the largest union of musicians in the world. – Career & business advice – Rights protection
‘The Musicians’ Union has over 30, 000 members. And believe me, 30, 000 people can make a lot of noise,’ says Mike Heaton of Embrace. ‘When you join, you’re joining the biggest band in the country. A band that collectively ﬁghts for each other’s rights across all musical genres. It’s important.’ The music industry can be a scary environment, with pitfalls apparently at every turn.
Don’t go out alone...
– Free instrument insurance
For more information visit the students page on our website:
– Free contract & partnership advice
– £10 million public liability cover
Alternatively, call our National Ofﬁce on 020 7582 5566 or email info@theMU.org
– Legal advice and assistance – Network of 30,000 musicians across the UK
‘I don’t read music. Or contracts, unfortunately. I’m a DJ, producer and ﬁlm director. I’m not an accountant, lawyer or politician.‘ Don Letts
For anyone serious about being a working musician, the Musicians’ Union is the best backing group available and there has never been a better time to join as a student. Membership is open to all musicians. 09
On The en e r c S g i B the best bits at the pictures this month
Apart from the passable weather and lack of exam pressure, another great thing about summer is the release of some great movies to see you through the holidays. This month we take a look at trailers for the next big super-hero epic, a highbudget zombie romp with a twist and a feel good animated comedy that will delight adults and children alike.
Man of Steel
World War Z
Despicable Me 2
If you’re going to make a gritty, dark film adaptation of the world’s most well-known super hero comic, you could do a hell of a lot worse than recruiting the directorproducer combo of Zack Snyder and Christopher Nolan. From what we’ve seen so far in the trailers the results are, well, super. The released clips show a re-jigged Superman battling an extra-terrestrial menace led by General Zod, whose ridiculous name doesn’t quite suit the gritty revamp. Nevertheless, the CGI looks breath-taking. Expect lots of explosions and buildings falling down. In 3D no doubt.
Brad Pitt’s massively expensive new flick has taken on the ambitious task of combining the disaster movie and zombie horror genres. The best way to describe it would be to imagine a film like The Day After Tomorrow or Deep Impact except all of the asteroids and tidal waves are made out of flesh eating zombies. Not only do these zombies chase and bite people, they are capable of forming giant human ladders in order to climb sky scrapers and attack helicopters. You can tell it’s going to be epic because the trailer contains the immortal line – “They’re coming...”
Illumination Entertainment’s sequel to 2010’s excellent Despicable Me sees Gru (played by Steve Carrell) get recruited by the ‘AntiVillain League’ who want to use his super-villain knowhow to take on a new villain, Eduardo. With a superb comedy cast which also includes Kristen Wiig, Steve Coogan and Russell Brand, it’s presumed that this animated feature is aimed just as much at parents as it is their kids. If the voice talent isn’t enough to get you to the cinema Despicable Me 2 also features an original soundtrack co-composed by Pharrell Williams.
Released 14th June
Released 21st June
Released 28th June
Words: Gazz Wood
CALL OF JUAREZ:
Out: May 24th, On: 360 & PS3
GUNSLINGER Out: 22nd May, On: PS3, 360, PC
THE LAST OF US
Take it to the most famous outlaws in the Old West and then use it to shoot them in their fool heads! Silas Greaves is more grizzled than a partially chewed bear, and he’s got some tales to tell regarding times when he’s killed people. First person shooter action in this standalone piece of downloadable six-gun spinning Wild West ‘Em Up.
“Uncharted” developers Naughty Dog are back with another protagonist in a dirty shirt. It’s been 20 years since a global pandemic turned some people into ferocious infected zombies and so forth. Survival Action is the genre of the game, and that’s something the Uncharted guys seem to know their way around. Only for PS3.
Out: 14th June, On: PS3
Hey another game about infected zombies! Not had one of those in since a few seconds ago. To be fair, Res Evil did pretty much invent that, and now they’ve reinvented it with this upgraded upscaled remake of a 3DS title. You take control of old favourites Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine to skulk around a seemingly never ending array of undead infested buildings, streets and vessels. This version has upgraded Raid Mode and difficulty levels and new weapons and bloody all sorts. Also, all sorts of blood.
noah and the whale “It’s basically a coming of age story.”
It’s not the first time Noah And The Whale have produced an album with an accompanying feature film, and it doesn’t take a genius to draw parallels between its plot and the band’s maturing sound. Singer, songwriter, producer, director and veritable polymath, Charlie Fink explained that the high concept film is set in a dystopian future in which teenagers are separated from the rest of society until they’re old enough to join the rest of us: “It’s about a group of friends and the last night they spend together before they go. More than anything I guess it’s about friendship and memory. And they’re two of the main themes of the record as well, that’s what they have in common.”
Heart Of Nowhere is an album which will surprise fans with its range of influences; the crew have taken a swift departure from the organic indie folk which made their name and have opted for a sound which counterintuitively looks back in order to move forward. Fink was purportedly suffering from a bout of writer’s block when NatW came off tour in early 2012. He was unsure where the next record was going to come from until he stumbled upon a line from a forgotten gem of his youth. The Neil Young lyric went “I was looking for the harvest, but all I found was silver and gold.” On hearing it, Fink
is a “I don’t think there ings, right way of doing th ks.” it’s just whatever wor 12
decided to let go of studio perfectionism and produce songs which embodied all the reasons he fell in love with music in the first place.
“More than anything I guess it’s about friendship and memory” “Talking heads have been a big influence. Also the Cars and a lot of other 80s stuff we’ve been listening to. There’s a lot of stuff from that era that I really love. It’s funny how the record is about adolescence and the end of adolescence and for me the songs sort of have a way of bringing me back to that place. That’s the type of music I grew up with.”
No one can deny that making the leap from thrashed acoustic guitars to vintage eighties synths was a huge gamble, but listening to the record, you can’t help but believe that it’s one that will almost certainly pay off. The fond depictions of youth and ‘Naive Melody’ style string sections give Heart of Nowhere a joyous bounce; exactly the kind of
“I think the themes on this record really suited the live arrangement. Also we haven’t changed the line up in a few years now and it’s the longest we’ve gone without changing the line up. Because we toured the last record so much I think we’ve developed as performers and I think we’ve really captured that spirit of playing live together.” Clearly it’s not just the characters in Charlie Fink’s new film that have had to go through a difficult change. Luckily NatW have come out all the stronger.
uplifting vibes you might expect from NatW but not necessarily coming from the same place. Key to the album’s feel was the unusual decision to record the songs live rather than the much more modern method of tracking each instrument separately. “I think when you make a record on a computer you sort of exchange all the technical extras for emotional intensity. There’s something a lot more human about it when you do it that way, you connect to it on a more emotional level. I don’t think there is a right way of doing things, it’s just whatever works.”
ly “I think we’ve realit of captured that spir .” playing live together The quality of the live playing is testament to NatW’s relentless touring schedule in recent years and also in part because they’ve finally stuck to a permanent line-up. Such is the band’s newfound confidence that Heart Of Nowhere even breaks into the odd guitar solo, a feature that is often deemed unfashionable in modern music but is more than appropriated by the album’s archaic roots.
Heart Of Nowhere is out now.
Sun, S Su un, un n, Sex Se Se ex x and and an nd Suspicious... S Su usp us spi pic ici cio iou ous us... Studying? S St tud tu udyi yin in ng g? g? Words: Rachel Ferguson
Great Britain, the clue’s in the name, we are great. We invented everything and the world hopped on our bandwagon. They stole tea, festivals and now they’ve stolen our most prestigious invention yet – universities. The most shocking part is they’re actually beating us at our own game (No not football; I know we invented that, but it was an idiom.) It seems it’s no longer cool to be associated with boat races, chinos, or well, the House of Commons. That’s why students are packing their satchels and setting off to study abroad – here are some students full of wanderlust to show you the score...
ink you th o d t a and wh rkey; u T n i tudy lture se to s you? o o h urkish cuge (or c T . u r d o e n y f e f p d ngua e dee Why di abroad can o elf into thed to learn the lahelp towards s y g m n i w y o r d o stu want to th I’m excit ections t
n because Iexperienced anpdefully make con y e k r u T e I chose rent to any I’v w things and ho ally stanti is diffe try to!), see ne b u s e nk th at least er. ou thi y e r a o c D y m l. ?
en ta Plowd rkey n a l t A : l, Tu Name Istanbu cation, : n o i t a Loc muni (s): Com Music t c e j b u S lar nd Popu Media a 14
ies wfu r is a der your stud e h t a e h w ll hin Britis ch her wi t a e w g the bea in s s e u better g o I’m work
s I’ll country, m li s u ohol...but eaches lc M a a r is o f y e the b Turk titute new subs alance between r (sadly!) y m e b b l a wil oreve corporate fresher f hard to in , I can’t act as a ing and study
Kong Will your year away affect the length of your course? No – my study abroad option is only for one semester. This means that the credits I will receive in Hong Kong transfer to my ﬁnal degree. Will the government help with the cost of living there? I am still entitled to my student loan, and the Student Loan Company will contribute to some of my ﬂights, and I receive £500 from the University of Liverpool.
bacz nna Dur Name: A University of n: Locatio ng K g Hon o : Geography (s) Subject
d n a l Hol
. Do you think Holland is a popular destination for students tempted to stay? after spending a semester there you’ll be
open mind to the The idea of living abroad appeals to me, so I’m keeping an about Holland’s possibility of returning in the future. I’m reading a book world that prizes cultural identity; the Netherlands is the only country in the ls a forward revea abstract paintings over nationalistic landscapes. That thinking attitude, and I like it.
Name: An nie Beverle y Location: Holland Subject(s ): English
, qualifications Unfortunately for top grafting students you think that Do just don’t seem to be enough anymore. employability? having Study Abroad on your CV can boost your
Erasmus scheme I hope it can; only 1% of students in Europe take part in the different. so I’m sure it marks a participant out at as someone a bit
Politeness Britain is grey, cold and hostile. The people are fucked off about the Government, the football and any number of other things that mean if they bump into you you’re more likely to get a dislodged tooth than an apology. Every person I met in the US was a fucking delight. Even the guy in Nebraska, who threatened to kill me twi ce, apologised when he nudged my chair. Whe n we crashed a house party and one of us pis sed up a wall in the house, we were ASKED to leave.
Words: Gazz Wood Big Things What I like about the Big Things is that they exist at all. From a life-sized moose made of chocolate to the World’s Largest Well, each and every one demonstrates the “Why Not?” attitude of Americans. Britain is a “Why?” nation. “Why bother with the Christmas Market? Why build anything? Why even live?” An American can sit down with their friends and say “Hey, I was thinking about putting an 8 foot chicken in a chef’s hat outside my gas station.” and they won’t ask why. They’ll sip their beer, shrug & reply “Why not.” The whole place is built on Why Not. I love that.
Waiters/Waitresses We get a haggard old dear who’s one rude word away from dropping her plates and running off into the woods. Across the pond they introduce themselves, ask if you need more time (and give you more time!) and smile throughout. We’ve gotten used to shoddy customer service. The girl in Tesco ignores you while she talks to Stacy about how Gabby’s had two fag breaks and it’s not even her turn or nuffin. Even the shittest American diner is like Disneyland compared to Little Chef. “Brilliant” is their LOWEST setting.
e (Not Mousse) Chocolate Moos
First pl ace I we nt for br America eakfast was ‘The in ordered Dish’ in eggs and New York . I bacon. Y in the U ou order K and yo that u’r bacon. N o more, n e getting eggs and o less. a greasy If someo spoon as ne in ked me h my eggs ow I wan I think I’d burst ted didn’t ev into tea en reali rs. I se there Poached, were opt scramble ions. d, hard, boi led? Do I sunny-side up, o ver want egg Or egg su whites o bstitute nly? ? I genuine ly didn’t know how No one he to answe re gives r. two shit you want s about h your eggs o w . Plus ev is refil ery lable. J uice. Co drink Water. ffee. You wil l NOT thirsty! go
e On A Plate Hangover Cur 16
Visit www.liverpoolcraftbeerexpo.com for more info
Sometimes ordering Real Ale can be a bit like Russian Roulette, or Revels if you’re allergic to peanuts. Quite often the pint is a disappointment and I find myself staring jealously at my mate’s crispy fizzing golden pint of lager. But when the pub is on the ball, and you get that combination of freshness and distinctive flavour, the rewards outweigh the negative experiences.
First question. Would you ever buy a pint of Carling at the bar? Not Carling no, but I’m certainly not averse to ordering a pint of lager. If there is real ale, or craft beer available I will always go for that, but if not I can definitely force a bland pint of lager down! Carling is bloody awful though, so I’d probably plumb for a higher ABV continental lager. (ABV means Alcohol By Volume, aka percentage.)
Recently we heard of a new Liverpool beer festival to showcase the best of the UK’s Craft and Real Ale. This was all the excuse we needed to spend the afternoon talking about beer and more importantly sampling the excellent selection of craft kegs at 23 Club on Hope Street, Liverpool.
Liverpool already has one Beer Festival in the winter. What made you want to launch a summer festival?
Wireless sat down with Paul Seiffert, Co-Founder of The Liverpool Craft Beer Co microbrewery and host of the Craft Beer Expo.
The main difference though is the Expo showcase craft keg beer alongside the cask ale. Craft keg beer is topquality, high-flavour beer served with more carbonation and at lower temperatures than cask ale. We’ve said it a few times, but for us it’s about having a well selected
Hi Paul, thanks for coming to talk to Wireless, excellent choice of meeting location by the way.
The Craft Beer Expo is the first festival of its kind to hit Liverpool. All of the beer will be served to pub standard, at cellar temperature and through proper hand-pulls.
beer menu, not a long one. What beers can we expect to see? We’ll be showcasing the best UK breweries with both cask and keg. The UK brewing scene is so vibrant at the moment and there are so many new, exciting and boundary-pushing beers being created. There will be a huge range of beers, high ABV, low ABV, cask beer, keg beer, light beer, dark beer & fruit beer. Oh, and cider. You can’t have a summer festival without cider! Do you have any tips for readers who like the idea of craft beer but are not sure what to order when they get to the bar? Any good bar that serves craft beer should have good, friendly and knowledgeable staff. Talk to them about what you like, ask for tasters – don’t be scared to have a dialogue with the bar staff, it’s what they’re there for!
The Beer Expo takes place from the 14th to 16th June. You can buy your ticket now from just £6.50 online at: www.liverpoolcraftbeerexpo.com 17
Words: Matt Gammond
Annual John Peel
World Cup Saturday May 4th // Chavasse Park // Liverpool ONE
Wireless Magazine’s glorious day out at Liverpool’s Sound City will be remembered for many reasons, not least of which the crushing realisation that we were so far out of our depth we needed the extra wide armbands.
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It was the day of the John Peel World Cup, and we’d put out a team of tattooed misfits thinking it’d be a competition populated with chubby amateurs. Alas. They arrived in droves with their kits, managers and team tactics. We bought a bag full of shots and some iron-on graphics.
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Intense high tempo action !
Team Wireless limber up
A bloody nose for Team Wir eless
The task was for us to score one goal to prevent complete humiliation, though as the day progressed and we got more drunk, the care began to evaporate. Here’s what went down.
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Match 1: If ever the phrase “trial by fire” was to be used, it should be about this match. We were up against the kind of lads that play five (or in this case, four) a side football a lot and within thirty seconds a thunderous shot had crushed the face of our brave keeper. Blood was drawn, pants were soiled. The next few hours were to be a festival of sporting annihilation it seemed, though a lucky deflected shot from Welshaldo saw us score once so demolition was avoided.
Pure quality, the ladâ€™s got class.
Gum guard or half-time lime?
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Match 2: A huge scientific discovery was made here. Licking our wounds in the pub and consuming dirty beer actually helped us in our quest for victory. The second game went much better with Bluthaldo removed from the net and replaced with Alanaldo to prevent further concussive injuries. And as we lived and breathed we scored several courtesy of Glynnaldo and others. Victory! Somehow...
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Match 3: Our opponents had Liverpool kits. And muscles. And height. And tempers. And a player that looked like a disgruntled subterranean mammal according to one of our party - his identity shall remain hidden for his own safety. We lost this game 6-1, there are now two ways about it, we were battered. But scoring one against guys that could very well be on the pitch at Anfield one day was still an achievement. A fun day was had by all and we left feeling like champions. But that may have been the alcohol.
Funds raised from the event go to the British Heart Foundation, in memory of John Peel. Please Drink Responsibly
“I’m grateful to the teachers who rammed poetry down my rotten thro at.”
The well-dressed and boney figure of punk-poet John Cooper Clarke leant eagerly over the dinner table. He’d just put away a bottle of wine so was beginning to wax lyrical on the question of advice to young artists. He wanted to make sure my Dictaphone absorbed the point: “The unexpurgated code of the road; a three point plan. Number one – never eat at a restaurant called Ma’s. Number 2 – never play cards with a man whose first name is Doc. Number 3 – never sleep with a woman who has more problems than you do.” It seems ironic that whenever I’ve interviewed young bands the most they have to say is on the subject of how hard 20
touring is, and here was JCC and his tour manager Johnny Green (former road manager of The Clash and punk legend in his own right). By the looks of it the old codgers where having the time of their lives. And getting away with it too. John Cooper Clarke made his name reading his poetry alongside bands like The Fall and Joy Division in the late seventies. His idiosyncratic delivery and modern subject matter sat perfectly with his punk peers’ ‘rip it up and start again’ attitude towards culture. John’s work has seen a recent surge in popularity, in part because of the influence it has had on young artists. Now you can even find poem’s such as ‘Twat’ on GCSE papers.
“They put me on the syllabus and then I went on a tour with a few other poets around all the major towns to talk to GCSE students – this is about 8 years ago. Because of that I’ve got a whole new generation of fans, among them Alex Turner. And after that he’s dropped my name everywhere. Plan B as well.” What John is doing at the moment is almost unprecedented. Live events are as popular as ever in the fields of music and stand-up comedy, but exactly how many poets can sell out major auditoriums? Mr. Clarke isn’t resting on his laurels either. When I first joined him back stage just minutes after his show I was surprised to find him buried in his notebook working on a
half-finished number he had performed that night, an ode about a heckle thrown at him in his native Manchester: ‘Get Back on the Drugs You Fat Fuck.’ Johnny Green likened the shows to a jazz performance; no two are ever the same. It was surprising then to find out that John was quite conservative in how he thinks poetry should be taught: “Do you know what? I’m a bit Michael Gove about poetry. After all, that’s how I learnt; you learn poems off by heart... [John recites Vitai Lampada by Sir Henry Newbolt word for word] From my limited knowledge of the school system they seem to hate teaching children facts, it’s all like a continuation of nursery. “I was taught to memorize poems by heart and today another John Cooper Clarke couldn’t emerge because they don’t do that anymore. I didn’t understand them at the time, it was just a series of noise, but you appreciate the
musicality of it and those poems come back to you later in life. I’m grateful to the teachers who rammed poetry down my rotten throat. I didn’t appreciate it at the time but now I’m thankful.” Perhaps it’s his punkassociations or his intimidatingly cool stage presence but I’ve always been surprised by the anecdotes of vast human kindness that go along with John Cooper Clarke interviews. Researching this piece I’ve come across stories of him giving money to tramps and signing autographs as Ronnie Wood so as not to embarrass Rolling Stones fans. During this interview a young fan knocked on the window of the posh hotel we were eating in and rather than responding with a polite wave JCC was up like a shot to go and meet her. Clarke seems to be in love with what he is doing. Even in conversation you can hear him twisting his words and seeing how far they can
bend (when I ask where he’s playing next he responds “Dundee: it’s a done deal”). It’s as if the poetry is writing itself. A large part of Clarke’s newer show deals with ageing and death (“I won’t tell you how old I am but I don’t buy the green bananas”). A very memorable gag riffed on Terry Pratchett’s public struggle with mortality and preferred way to die, but what would be the most desirable exit for Johnny Clarke? “A long time hence, when I’m not expecting it, and it’s quick. The guillotine! That’s a good way to go; the national razor. That’s a very humane way of dispatching of the aristocracy. I wouldn’t care for a firing squad in case they were all bad shots. Perhaps lethal injection if it was Thai heroine, some Chinese rocks.” And what would go on the gravestone? “There will never be another.”
“...never sleep with a woman who has more problems than you do .”
3 1 0 2 l a v i t s e F e d l i k s Ro
Music festivals are as popular as they ever were and we’re probably a bit spoilt for choice in this country. But as more and more festivals continue to pop out of the woodwork, you’d be forgiven for thinking that the quality of artists has begun to deteriorate at some of blighty’s most commercial events. But luckily you don’t have to go very far to find a top class music and arts festival where the talent hasn’t been compromised. Enter Denmark’s Roskilde, Europe’s biggest music and cultural festival. From the off there are several advantages Roskilde has over its British equivalents, the first being that the bands and art performances are stretched over a 9 day period compared to the measly three days we traditionally have. Secondly, all of the artists have to play a minimum of a 1 hour set, so there’s no chance of missing your favourite band because they want to disappear after 20 minutes 22
for fear of sunburn. And thirdly, the scope of its arts and creation programming is astounding. Roskilde doesn’t just promise an exhibit of pristine museum pieces, but a whole city of interactive art to get actively involved in. And apart from all that, we haven’t even mentioned the line-up yet. Headlining this year are legendary electronic pioneers Kraftwerk; muchmissed returning rock dinosaurs Queens of the Stone Age; undisputed queen of R’n’B Rihanna; uplifting Icelandic virtuosos Sigur Ros; and the scariest bastards to ever crawl out of Iowa, Slipknot. So what could top that? Well, in a late addition to the lineup, Metallica have agreed to play their only European show of the summer at Roskilde. Watch out Denmark, the continent’s metal heads are coming... Get your tickets at now at Roskilde-festival.dk
/ A IC L L A US S T U E DE M / / E L G / O N A E A IS K R / I N E S T O W A DK Ó T T S N R F / E E R A T H H U A R T O F T BB S I G L B E K S US VO / N A E ANN OT/ E U Q RIH PKN SLI 29.06 — 07.07
L A V
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AIRBOURNE/AU ANIMAL COLLECTIVE/ US BLACK REBEL MOTORCYCLE CLUB/ US JAMES BLAKE/ UK C2C/ FR CHASE & STATUS/ UK CHELSEA LIGHT MOVING/ US CRYSTAL CASTLES/ CA DEAD CAN DANCE/ AU/UK DISCLOSURE/ UK EFTERKLANG/ DK HATEBREED/ US INGRID feat. LYKKE LI, PETER BJORN AND JOHN, MIIKE SNOW, COCO, J. ÅHLUND and GUESTS/ INT KREATOR/ DE KRIS KRISTOFFERSON/ US KVELERTAK/ NO KENDRICK LAMAR/ US MIGUEL/ US OF MONSTERS AND MEN/ IS HENRY ROLLINS - SPOKEN WORD/ US SIMIAN MOBILE DISCO/ UK SUICIDAL TENDENCIES/ US ROKIA TRAORÉ/ ML TURBONEGRO/ NO BOBBY WOMACK/ US
ACTION BRONSON/ US AGE COIN/ DK MEHER & SHER ALI/ PK ANAAL NATHRAKH/ UK ANGEL HAZE/ US BAAUER/ US BADUME’S BAND & SELAMNESH ZEMENE/ ET/FR AZEALIA BANKS/ US TOMAS BARFOD - LIVE/ DK NILS BECH/ NO BIXIGA 70/ BR BLOOD COMMAND/ NO THE BLUE ANGEL LOUNGE/ DE BOMBINO/ NE THE BOTS/ US JAKE BUGG/ UK TEGO CALDERÓN/ PR CALEXICO/ US CHINESE MAN/ FR CHORDS/ SE FELIPE CORDEIRO/ BR DAEDELUS - ARCHIMEDES SHOW/ US DAKHABRAKHA/ UA DANNY BROWN/ US DAWANGGANG/ CN DEAD FADER/ UK DEAD RAT ORCHESTRA/ UK THE DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN/ US DUBIOZA KOLEKTIV/ BA EKKOZONE performs MUSIC FOR 18 MUSICIANS/ DK ELOQ/ DK EL-P/ US ENSIFERUM/ FI FRANK FAIRFIELD/ US FIDLAR/ US FLATBUSH ZOMBIES/ US FLUME/ AU GEOMUNGO FACTORY/ KR GOAT/ SE GOATWHORE/ US JOHN GRANT/ US THE HELIOCENTRICS/ UK HIGHASAKITE/ NO CHRISTIAN HJELM/ DK HOBA HOBA SPIRIT/ MA HOLY OTHER/ UK ICEAGE/ DK INDIANS/ DK JAM CITY/ UK JOEY BADA$$/ US KARPE DIEM/ NO KENTON SLASH DEMON/ DK MARIE KEY/ DK KID KOALA/ CA KILLER MIKE/ US KING TUFF/ US KOTTARASHKY & THE RAIN DOGS/ BG KRAR COLLECTIVE/ ET LAUREL HALO/ US DAVID LINDLEY/ US LINKOBAN/ DK THE LUMINEERS/ US MASKINEN/ SE MERIDIAN BROTHERS/ CO METZ/ CA MOKOOMBA/ ZW MY BUBBA/ IS/SE MYKKI BLANCO/ US NAZORANAI/ INT NUBANOUR/ EG NUMBERS feat. RUSTIE, JACKMASTER, ONEMAN, SPENCER, DEADBOY, REDINHO and SOPHIE/ UK OM UNIT/ UK ONDATRÓPICA/ CO PARQUET COURTS/ US PINKUNOIZU/ DK PISSED JEANS/ US QUADRON/ DK MARTIN RYUM/ DK SAVAGES/ UK SOHN/ UK THE SOUL REBELS/ US ANDY STOTT/ UK SUUNS/ CA THE SWORD/ US SYND OG SKAM/ DK SÖNDÖRGÖ/ HU TALBOT/ EE THROES + THE SHINE/ AO/PT ÁSGEIR TRAUSTI/ IS TREMORO TARANTURA/ NO TRULS/ NO TYRANNY/ FI UNCLE ACID & THE DEADBEATS/ UK UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA/ NZ/US UZ/ US MARCOS VALLE feat. LUCAS SANTTANA/ BR VATICAN SHADOW/ US VINNIE WHO/ DK VOODOO GLOW SKULLS/ US WHEN SAINTS GO MACHINE/ DK MATTHEW E. WHITE/ US JONATHAN WILSON/ US WINTERGATAN/ SE APOLLO COUNTDOWN / PAVILION JUNIOR 30.06 – 03.07
AJUNA/ DK BABY IN VAIN/ DK BENDIK/ NO BINÄRPILOT/ NO BROKE/ DK BWOY DE BHAJAN/ DK CAPTAIN FUFANU/ IS CARLI/ SE COMPADRE/ SE FELIX DE LUCA/ DK DRÅPE/ NO EIK/ NO ELLIPHANT/ SE FRIENDLY BEASTLY COYOTE/ DK GHOST VENUE/ DK GNUCCI/ SE GO GO BERLIN/ DK ICE CREAM CATHEDRAL/ DK KADIE ELDER/ DK KAKA/ DK K-X-P/ FI LEMÂITRE/ NO LOWER/ DK MOTHER LEWINSKY/ DK MØ/ DK NAVNELØS/ DK NONSENS/ DK OVERTHROW/ NO POSTILJONEN/ SE/NO PÄÄ KII/ FI KRISTINA RENÉE/ DK REWOLMER/ DK ROBEAT BOYS/ DK SCHULTZ & FOREVER/ DK SEKUOIA/ DK SO-SO ECHO/ DK SOLBRUD/ DK SUMMER HEART/ SE THEN COMES SILENCE/ SE TORKELSEN/ NO TRAVELLING TRIBES/ DK URBAN CONE/ SE VANLIGT FOLK/ SE THE WOKEN TREES/ DK
mmond Words: Matt Ga
MATT You know when you just sit there and realise you’ve made a mistake? Yeah? Good. That happened to me and Michael Glynn as we sat in front of the TV21 Challenge Burger; a monolithic creation that cast a worrying shadow across the table. We were here to try and take it down; half an hour to consume two pounds of beef with all the trimmings. The eerie health warning was a joke of course but the reality of the task smashed us in the face after only eating through a quarter – this was big, this was hot... this was tough.
MICHAEL Jealous of the ‘diet’ burgers our fellow diners had, I began to feel the weight in my stomach just ten minutes in, something which you’d expect to happen when you’re facing a burger so big it rips the flesh from your face with its gravitational pull. We each had different strategies; I ate with manners, Michael did not, but it didn’t matter. The chances of a romantic liaison with
Around 30cm [12”] tall with over 2lb of burger patties plus onion rings, hash browns, eggs, bacon, cheese, mustard mayo, salad garnishes and a large side of hand-cut chips topped with Texas red chili
All for only
the attractive bar staff dwindled with each passing bite; it was delicious, and a regular portion would have been fab – but trying to eat what looked like the final boss from some warped RPG in such a short amount of time was impossible. We were told about one chap who nearly did it, and then returned his meal to the plate in spectacular fashion. This fate was not wanted but seemed inevitable as the meat sweats
kicked in and my stomach begged for death. And with a tedious sense of inevitability both of us were defeated. It was decided that I had eaten the most and therefore took home the papier-mâché trophy of excellence but it was food that really won. Even the Wiganese vultures that lurked nearby ready for the scraps couldn’t finish what was left – this truly is a challenge of kings, and a tasty one at that!
If you want to try your hand at winning the t-shirt then head on down to TV21! 25
WORDS: Nathan Simm
I sit here in the back of a van with Wretch 32, I finally come to terms with just how uncool I actually am. I’m in a practical waterproof jacket and sensible jeans while he has a jacket with spikes on! Spikes! How am I supposed to compete with that?! Even the way that he is eating his Tangfastics is more hip than I’ll ever manage. Anyway, this is his last interview of the day and he quite fancies getting on his way back to London so I’d best get started...
“I try and make everything I release to be a step in a new direction...” So, Mr. 32, your new single ‘Blackout’ is out soon (May 15th). It’s a lot mellower than your previous releases, is this the new direction your work is heading in now? Well I try and make everything I release to be a step in a new direction, I don’t want to be releasing the same thing twice! I like to mix it up and try new things that haven’t been done before. I’m getting a great response from the track. 26
You have recorded with a lot of great artists over the past few years; the new single even has Shakka featuring on it. Who have been your favourite collaborations and who would your dream collaboration be with? Working with Shakka has definitely been the most exciting out of them all, but there’s a different experience with different people, everyone brings something positive to the table in their own right. I think doing a song with Cheryl [Cole] was the most fun, I’m sure you see why! I’d love to work with Adele or Damian Marley. I’m sure I could get a good result from either of them. What are you looking forward to in the rest of 2013? I have quite a few festivals lined up which can be found on my site as well as a tour in the works. The third album is coming together nicely too, we’re working with a lot of cool acts at the moment. It’s just good to see people as excited about my music as I am!
“It’s just good to see people as excited about my music as I am!”
What did you listen to growing up? Some hip-hop, R&B, pop. I grew up in a house full of girls so it was quite soul orientated too.
You very publicly said ‘You’ll never catch me on the Jeremy Kyle Show’. Have you got any more views on today’s TV? Jeremy Kyle, Jerry Springer, all that sort of stuff is still to be avoided in my opinion. I would like to avoid The Cube too. BUT, this is just so I have time to go away and practice for it. When I’m ready I want to go on and smash it.
How many take for blackout? None! I’m out. One enough for
Wretch, here are some quickfire questions from the good people of Twitter;
Who are some upcoming artist’s people should check out? Shakka, G Frsh, George the Poet, Jacob Banks. drinks does it Wretch 32 to always blacked is more than me!
Do you want to name my mates hamster? Yes! I’ll go with HAM (in tribute to Kanye) or maybe just ‘mouse’ just to confuse people. Find all of Wretch’s info on wretch32.com
What would your perfect festival involve? Ah, there would be stages for everyone. I’ll have a ‘singer’ stage with people like Beyonce, Adele, Emile Sande on, an ‘international’ stage with people like Jay Z & Kanye. I quite fancy an underground and grime tent too which I’d have Giggs play. Oh and a ‘band’ stage which would probably just be Coldplay all day. Maybe a little Kasabian...
What’s On – Beady Eye
Liam Gallagher’s band of former Oasis members may have raised a few scoffs when they decided to carry on without Noel, but their newer material shits all over the High Flying Birds. Just goes to show you never can tell.
Miles Kane + Findlay
The sharply dressed former Rascals member is on tour with grunge-come-glam songwriter Findlay. Together they make for one of the best indie shows in town.
Reginald D. Hunter
Reginald’s stand-up is informed by the culture clash of being an African American from the Deep South living in Britain. Hence the tour is quite aptly named ‘In The Midst Of Crackers’.
New Yorker symbolist poet and veritable Godmother of punk Patti Smith may be getting on a bit but her live shows still pack a punch.
Big acts that are touring the country this Summer.
Mudhoney + Meat Puppets
This tour brings together a band most famous for being around at the same time as Nirvana with a band most famous for being buddies with Nirvana. Having said that they’re both awesome and you should go and see them.
This punky lo-fi ensemble have borrowed more than just a quirky misspelling from the band Wavves, but to hell with originality; this is the closest the UK is going to come to West Coast slackerdom.
Classic thrash metal act who will leave Metallica fans running for the hills, although I hear Dave Mustaine likes to keep things Christian these days so it’s all good clean fun.
Elvis Costello records are perhaps under-rated classics these days. Existing fans will fully comprehend the vast scope of his songwriting genius while the rest of you will probably have heard a lot of his songs without even knowing it.
Fans of House are often surprised to find that Hugh Laurie is English and has a hugely successful film and TV comedy career spanning 30 years. But did you know he can sing? Well, I suppose you probably did at this point.
Kings of Leon
KOL are staying in the UK for a short arena tour ahead of the release of a 5 album compilation box set. Hopefully that means that they’ll be playing a good mix of stuff in their shows; even the most cynical music fan has to admit there are one or two decent tunes on ‘Youth And Young Manhood’.
It looks like you’ve made it; exam season is finally over and the summer is upon us. Granted that you’re not hard at work on a lengthy dissertation or trekking to Bombay, you might find yourself knocking around your hometown and getting a bit bored over the holidays so here are a few suggestions of how to busy yourself: Theme Parks No matter how old you get, you can’t have much more fun than getting tanked up on junk food and then vomiting it out at 70mph on some purpose made fear-of-death machine. Theme Parks are large areas designated specifically for this purpose. Awesome.
Love music but hate camping? These days there’s a great range of inner city festivals that not only provide a huge range of live music within spitting range of a warm bed, but they do it for a far more reasonable price than traditional festivals. For example, check out Liverpool’s Sound City, Brighton’s Great Escape or Dot to Dot.
It’s on everybody’s bucket list but few actually get around to it. Tandem skydiving centres are dotted all over the UK and prices generally start at around £150 with many centres offering NUS deals. Of course you might die, but at least you’ll have a story to tell afterwards.
Inner City Festivals
Theatre Theatre is a great alternative to cinema for people who don’t care about superheroes or remakes of superhero films. It’s not necessarily all high art, most cities have a great range of plays for everyone.
Couldn’t find a Summer job? Skinted? Not to worry! Here are some budget options: Urban
Cider There’s no substitute for a cold drink of golden nectar when the sun is shining, and whether you enjoy your cider poured over a pint glass of ice in a beer garden or swigged straight from a plastic bottle at a bus stop, it’s as cheap as chips!
Don’t you just hate those large white birds who hang around parks acting like they own the place? Swans are notoriously aggressive so wrestling one isn’t as easy as you might imagine. Dutch courage may be necessary.*Please DON’T do this!
Foraging Foraging for wild berries and mushrooms in the countryside is a great way of getting back in touch with nature, but few people know that city dwellers can also get involved in this time-honoured pursuit. See that half eaten pasty resting on a bin? It’s up for grabs! That plastic bottle half full of strange liquid? It’s all yours buddy!
Parkour When you’re just about as bored and broke as you possibly could be, the only thing left to do is attempt a backflip off a park bench. It’s unclear what you could possibly do to prepare for this feat, so presumably you’re supposed to just go for it. Good luck!
Win with No Fear! COMPETITION
To celebrate the launch of the much anticipated film, Man of Steel, promotional partner No Fear Extreme Energy have a whole host of prizes up for grabs! With 300 director Zach Snyder & The Dark Knight’s Christopher Nolan at the helm, this film is set to be a massive box office success. Packed with stars such as Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Kevin Costner, Laurence Fishburne and Russell Crowe, the trailer has already attracting a staggering 30 million views online. No Fear, the UKs only re-sealable can, are giving away Game Airfix Indoor Skydiving Flight Simulator Experience and a month’s supply of No Fear plus 10 runners up will each win a case of No Fear and a Man of Steel t-shirt and to get your hands on these fantastic prizes all you need to do is answer the following...
In Man of Steel, Superman comes to earth as an infant from this doomed planet. Name the planet.
Text the word COMP along with the answer to 07786 202430 including your full name and Uni. We’ll select a winner on the 1st of July, and let you know if you’re a winner. Texts are just your standard network charge. 32
TICKET SHOP Derren Brown: Infamous Derren Brown returns to London’s West End with a brand new live show. Touring April – August 2013
Tom Odell Various venues across the country. Touring May – October 2013
Russell Howard: Wonderbox Various venues across the country. Touring February – April 2014
Jason Manford: Work In Progress Various venues across the country. Touring June – August 2013
Muse Various festivals & venues across the country. Touring May – November 2013
Stereophonics Various festivals & venues across the country. Touring August – November 2013
Robbie Williams Various venues across the country. Touring June & July 2013
Sigur Ros Nottingham, Brighton, London. Touring November 2013
mes & venues Scan the QR code to find dates, ti
.co.uk/tickets www.wirelessmag listings... for full
• Cool cotton adult onesies • Hooded fleece sleepsuits • Wizard gowns • Lycra body suits • Daywear or Nightwear • For outdoor parties & festivals • Various Styles and Sizes • Great gifts
Featuring interviews with Noah and the Whale, Wretch 32, John Cooper Clarke & Pigeon Detectives. Plus more...