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Well straddle my filthy chops and call me Sandra. Your favourite (or hopefully soon-to-be favourite) student mag is back and we’re feeling sexier than ever! For those of you that don’t know it, every page of Wireless Magazine is written and designed by students all over the UK - make sure you get in on the action too (just go to to find out more). This issue is a bloody humdinger, featuring exclusive interviews with the fat thumbed comedy genius Russell Howard, the far-too-clever director Rian Johnson, the terrifyingly hard Ben Drew (or Plan B to you and me), the catchier-than-the-clap Fun. and the rather lovely Fresh Meat actress Charlotte Ritchie. Oh and you’ll get to learn what ketchup sex is too. Hot diggity. Enjoy... x

s s e l e Wir [MAGAZINE]

Freshers Edition 2012

In this issue.... e Page 06: Freshers Event Guid

t Page 20: Joe and the Gian Burger

Page 30: New Bands You Need To See

Page 08: 8 People You’ll Meet In Halls

Page 22: Get The Look

Page 32: Ben Drew


Also in this

Page 14: Russell Howard

Page 26: Rian Johnson

Page 38: The Mass Debate.

Page 19: Fun.

Page 28: Fresh Meat’s Charlotte Ritchie

This publication is aimed at people over the age of 18, due to the nature of its content. If you are under 18, we suggest you put this magazine down and pick up a copy of Kerrang or Seventeen or something. Sorry about that, our lawyers told us to tell you.

Whilst every care has been taken to ensure that the data in this publication is accurate, neither the publisher nor its editorial contributors can accept any liability to any party or loss or damage caused by errors or o missions resulting from largely This edition of Wireless was created negligence, accident or any while wearing a luminous poncho, cursing the other cause. of

weather and getting drunk in a field full maniacs. Both with and without glasses on.

PUBLISHED BY UK STUDENT MEDIA LTD Telephone 0151 345 3803 Advertising: Editorial:

Editor: Andy Scott Contributors: Joseph Smith, Clare Barry, Amy Pay, Rosey Brown, Adam Clements, Ian Pemberton, Laura Griffiths, Zoe Waterson, Michael Glynn, Emma Williams, Faye Duncan, Harriet Midgley, Tom Johnson, Curtis McArdle, Alan Ormrod, Khia Reynolds Design: Andy Scott, John Rule, Rob Armstrong, Zoey Lott, Becky Ryan • Photos: Rob Whitworth, Mark Sethi, Alan Ormrod

Big thanks to: Eugene and Bee at Entertainment One, Hannah at Avalon, Tom at Hall or Nothing, Lisa Vanoli Publicity, Claire at Atlantic, Paul at Zeitgeist, Everyone at ChuffMedia, Rachel at, Blacks Restaurant, Everyone at Redbus, Alka Seltzer.

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Reading & Leeds Announce 2013 Pre-Sale Tickets The two greatest music festivals on the planet are over for another year, leaving us naked, dirty and nursing a hangover that's going to last until Christmas. But here's one thing to cheer you up: for a limited amount of time Reading & Leeds are selling tickets for next year's event at this year's prices. Those who want to guarantee their place in 2013's crowd, and save themselves a few quid in the process, would be wise to take advantage. Highlights from this year's festivals included a surprise appearance by Green Day, The Cribs throwing their backline into the crowd and Dave Grohl getting 80,000 people to sing happy birthday to his mum.

Almost Three Quarters Of Lady Gaga's Twitter Followers Could Be Fake

A study by the social media company Status People shows that up to 71% of Gaga's 29 million Twitter fans could consist of inactive or 'bot' accounts. 'Fake Follower check' also reports that 70% of President Obama's 19 million followers could be fake. Fake followers can be bought on the black market to raise the profile of an individual's account although there is no evidence to suggest Barack or Gaga have done this. Ladies and Gentlemen, this has been a slow news day.

Morgan Freeman To Star In Lego Movie It has been confirmed that Morgan Freeman will lend his voice to Lego: The Piece Of Resistance to be released in 2014. The 3D animated movie will also feature a Lego version of Batman.

Hitler To Stop Selling Clothes In India An Indian clothes shop has caused outrage after naming itself Hitler. Owner, Rajesh Shah says that he was unaware of the German dictator until recently and that he thought Hitler was just a nickname for a strict person, although this doesn't explain why the store's sign includes a swastika... 04

Tis The Season To Be Silly.

Silly season, the time of year when journalists scrape the barrel for things to write about, is back in spite of the Olympics and a nude Prince Harry scandal. Non-stories gripping the nation so far include a non-existent lion roaming the Essex country side and Russell Brand possibly sleeping with a Spice Girl. The Olympics managed to keep silly season at bay for much of August but now the games are over newspapers have also started to remember about civil war in Syria again.

Big Foot Hoaxer Killed On Highway A man trying to f a k e a Sasquatch sighting on a US highway was killed when he was hit by two cars. The hoaxer, dressed in a full body ghillie suit, was apparently trying to provoke a sighting of Big Foot in Montana. Unfortunately his disguise made it difficult for motorists to see him. The man's motives were uncovered after the local highway patrol interviewed his friends who said that alcohol may have also been a factor.


(yes, we know there are 15 days there, but fortnight was catchier)


Messi Mondays @ Undercroft – Uni Of Westminster 100 Free Tickets To The Cinema @ LSBU Tom Deacon @ Space Bar - Kingston Uni Rubix Cube Party @ Knights Park Bar Kingston Uni The Bop @ Roehampton Uni Icebreaker @ The Ministry Of Sound – City

Friday 14th Sept

Welcome Back Party! School Disco @ Sparrows Bar – University Of Greenwich Welcome Back Party! Skool Disco @ Bar Latitude – University Of Greenwich Seperation6: Live feat. Jay James + Boxes @ Tutu's – KCL

Saturday 15th Sept

Messi Mondays @ Undercroft – Uni Of Westminster 100 Free Tickets To The Cinema @ LSBU Tom Deacon @ Space Bar - Kingston Uni Rubix Cube Party @ Knights Park Bar Kingston Uni The Bop @ Roehampton Uni Icebreaker @ The Ministry Of Sound – City Uni London + QMU

Freshers Fair @ Uni Of Westminster (Regent) CJ Beats Vs Bashey @ Space Bar - Kingston Uni Sauce Takeover @ Knights Park Bar - Kingston Uni LOL @ RSU - Roehampton Uni Freshers Fair @ Uni Of Greenwich Comedy Show @ UEL Docklands Campus

Monday 17th Sept

Tuesday 18th Sept

Traffic Light Party @ Area 51 – U n i O f Westminster Ultimate Harrow Bar Crawl @Uni Of Westminster Beer Pong @ LSBU Live Bands And DJs @ Kingston Uni 3D Rave @ Space bar - Kingston Uni Freshers Fair @ Uni Of Greenwich Freshers Fair @ KCL (Thur-Fri) Live Bands Night @ UEL Docklands

Freshers Fair @ Uni Of Westminster (Marylebone) End Of Freshers Fancy Dress Mash up @ LSBU Ball Warm Up @ Hannafords Kingston Uni Ball Night @ Space bar Kingston Uni Karaoke @ RSU – Roehampton Uni Freshers Fair @ Roehampton Uni Freshers Willy Wonka Ball @ KUSU

Thursday 20th Sept

Friday 21st Sept

Welcome Back Party! Part 2 – Animal House @ Sparrows Bar – University Of Greenwich Meet And Greet @ Bar L a t i t u d e – University Of Greenwich KCL Official Welcome Party @ Ministry Of Sound - King's College London

Sunday 16th Sept

Freshers Fair @ Uni Of Westminster (Harrow) Smoke Radio School Disco @ Area 51 – Uni Of Westminster Freshers Fair @ LSBU Bar-Club With McClusky's @ Space bar/Hannafords Kingston Uni The Clapham Grand @ RSU Welcome Festival @ UCL Union Silent Disco @ UEL Docklands Campus

Wednesday 19th Sept L a z y Day D a yMovie M o vMarathon ie @ Lazy @ And Marylebone Marathon Marylebone Harrow Campuses A d H a r r oOf w – n University Campuses – Uni Of Westminster Westminster Back 2 Skool Party Back 2 Skool Party @ Froebel College @ Froebel College - Roehampton Uni P Roehampton r e F r e s Uni hers P h e r@ s Gr a et h eF rr ie ns g G a t h e r i College ng @ Imperial Imperial College Union – Imperial Union Imperial College–London College London The Clapham Grand @ RSU

Saturday 22nd Sept

UCLU Fiesta 2012 @ KOKO – University College London Freshers Fest @ Drapers Square – Queen Mary University Of London KCL Women's Campaign Welcome Picnic @ Strand Campus - King's College London War Studies Society Pub Quiz @ George Pub – King's College London

Monday Madness Of Freshers Fair – @XXXUniRated Hypnotist Night @ Sparrows Bar – Westminster (Marylebone) University Of Greenwich End Of Freshers Fancy Dress Mash Post LSBU Meet And Greet @ Bar up @ Grad Latitude @ Hannafords Of Ball Warm –Up University Greenwich Kingston Uni @ Fire – University Day One bar Ball Night @ Space College London Kingston Uni A Survival@ Guide RSU To – Karaoke Britain Roehampton And Uni The TBC @ – British Freshers @Fair London School Of Roehampton Uni E d F rc eosnhoemrisc sW iAl nl y Political @ KUSU Wonka BallSciences

La F r ze ys h D aTyu e sM do av y ie s @ Launch M a r a Party t h o@ n Loop Bar – lUniversity Mary e b o n e A nOf d Westminster Harrow Campuses – @ Phineas Uni Westminster JazzOfJam Back – 2 Skool Party Bar University @ Froebel College College London Roehampton Uni Night Kerrang! Rock Pre Freshers @ Sparrows Bar – Ft. Katie P Gathering @ Imperial College University Of Greenwich U o n – I m p e rTo i a lPractical Ann i Introduction College Life In London Britain @ TBC – London School Of Economics The Clapham Grand @

Sunday 23rd Sept

Monday 24th Sept

Tuesday 25th Sept

Freshers Ball @ Hippodrome – Uni Of West London Smoke Fest @ Harrow – University Of Westminster Club Neon @ Fabric – UCL Players! Toga Party @ Sparrows Bar – Uni Of Greenwich Mature Students Meet And Greet @ Bar Latitude – University Of Greenwich

Freshers Finale @ Egg Night Club – University Of Westminster UCLU Welcome Fair @ UCL – University College London An Introduction To Practical Life In Britain @ TBC – London School Of Economics And Political Sciences

Take Me Out @ Undercroft – University Of Westminster Flirt! Foam Party @ Sparrows Bar – University OF Greenwich F*ck Me It's Freshers @ The Coronet – Brunel Uni K C L G e e k S o c Video Games Night @ The Spit – KCL OMG It's Truffle Shuffle @ Tutu's – King's College London

Thursday 27th Sept

Friday 28th Sept

Wednesday 26th Sept

This month, we will be mostly... ...listening to Dog Is Dead A l l O u r Favourite Stories

Out 8th Oct

The unnervingly talented, and remarkably underrated Dog Is Dead, play the kind of happy-go-lucky sax fuelled indie that makes you want to want to high five strangers and tip your hat to the local shopkeeper. Stand out tracks such as Glockenspiel Song and new single Talk Through The Night are guaranteed to get you on to the dancefloor.

Muse The 2nd Law

Out 1st Oct

Their recent s i n g l e Unsustainable has sparked much controversy amongst the keyboard warriors of the world (most of the comments consisting of a simple "what the fuck?") but there is no denying that Muse's experiment with dubstep is a surprise success. Admittedly their Olympics song ‘Survival’ left something to be desired, but even The Beatles released [INSERT ANYTHING RINGO SANG HERE] at some point...

Everthing Everything Cough Cough Back again with their new single, "Cough Cough", Everything Everything have managed to bring us fresh material while maintaining their signature falsetto math-pop sound. And they eless Wir07

are out on tour over September too. Sexy times.

...and a classic Weezer Pinkerton Arguably the best Weezer album amongst fans, this album was slated when it came out, which subsequently influenced Rivers Cuomo to write totally shite songs about Beverly Hills. Tracks like The Good Life and El Scorcho could easily be the soundtrack to your summer...

...going to see Looper

Out 28th Sept

Just when y o u thought Back To The Future was the be-all and end-all of time travel films, Looper pops round and bitchslaps you with some brilliantly clever and original ideas. Long story short, Bruce Willis has to avoid being killed by himself in the past, which turns out to be Batman’s mate. Go see it.

...playing FIFA 13 Out 25th Sept PS3/PC/XBox 360

The football g a m e s o addictive that it is now available on the NHS as an alternative to methadone. With a load more features including more player interaction, it’s a good job it’s out a few months before the exams or you’d all be buggered...

...drinking Jack Honey


Dubbed "Honey Nectar of the Gods", the sweeter new s p i r i t i s fantastic on it's own- but i t ' s r e a l novelty is that it can be mixed with almost ANYTHING and taste good. You can put it in your lemonade, coke, tonic water, other spirits. In your coffee at work. Or even your nan's tea, when she wants to watch Antiques Roadshow. .

...wearing T h e o l d f l u f f y v i n t a g e /statement cardigan/ jumper/woolly-arsething in the back of the wardrobe.

It's back to Uni time, which for the most of us means the art of making an effort goes out the window. Not to mention it's about to get cold again and while the weather is inbetween, there is nothing quite like wearing your Dad's old jumper from 1976 and pretending it's a "statement". Don't forget your satchels.


Pub Golf

Pubs, everywhere.

Sorry, we’re not being boring, but it is truly the most fucking stupid way to spend an evening. Don’t be a sheep. Although Pub Sheepdog Trials would be interesting...

8 people you’ll meet in halls this year! words: Laura Griffiths illustration: Becky Ryan

Moving into halls for the first time usually signals; newfound freedom, no parental supervision and even cereal for tea! But we're here to break it to you that you may have just swapped your rents for some equally odd characters... And THEY don't even come with the benefit of doing your washing. You have been warned...

the nympho Or just a bit 'loose' shall we say. Survival items? Ear plugs and disinfectant. You know that grubby shower you dreaded using when you first moved in? Well, she'll have Johnny Chino-pants in there with her by the end of the first week and will be bragging about it to you over your Cheerios the morning after. Sexay.

the one who steals your food First it's just a swig of your milk with a polite 'please' and 'cheers' and of course you won't ask them to replace it because you know, it was off anyway. Next thing you know, they've swiped your last Chicago Town leaving you with nothing but a note saying 'Soz' and turns out it's written on one of your own bloody Post It notes.

the mum

the invisible one W i l l k n o w everyone's full names, families and shoe size within the first ten minutes and will assume responsibility of passing this vital information on to you upon arrival. Can come in useful though; how does this person know y o u r e x a m timetable before you?!

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Rarely comes out of their room except for basic survival needs such as food and hygiene yet will wait for the sound of bedroom doors closing to make sure no-one's about. Top tip when bored: Open and close your door numerous times to confuse them and watch them scarper away with their half cooked spaghetti hoops on toast.

the geek Seems far too excited about using their new matching Paperchase stationery set and doesn't quite realise the concept of first year ‌ Unless wait, you're supposed to work?

the bitch You've got to ask with this one; If you hate people so much, why the hell did you decide to live in halls?

the stoner Says 'chilled' just a little too much for you to take them seriously and their room can normally be spotted by following the door with the funny smell and the sound of a lengthy Halo sesh coming through at 4am.

the party animal Determined to be the ultimate student clichĂŠ, after seeing one too many party movies. Seems like fun at first with their indestructible liver and 'crazy' antics, like they were the first person in the world to steal a traffic cone, but will eventually get on your nerves when they've fallen asleep on the bog for the third night in a row and you're desperate for the loo.

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s e l b a e l UnGoog


words: Curt McArdle

The indie world loves a bit of mystery. Wu Lyf proved that. One time just four self proclaimed “dumb kids calling out for a place to call home”. An elusive, flare laden promo shot and a few interview rejections saw AR men scrabbling to grab a piece of them. It's a growing trend. No festival lineup is complete without at least 3 mask wearing acts or dropped vowels (Both, for Mr. SBTRKT). But what if that's not enough? Is it REALLY possible to stay hidden in a world where the latest track is one key word away? Masks hide your identity, but can they prevent your everyday skinny jeans NME type illegally downloading your album from PirateBay? Of course not... For the latest line of hipsters, Google is now the enemy. What was once the land of hope and glory for up and coming bands is considered a hindrance. A threat to persona. But it can be beaten. Whilst it may be a whizz with words, it struggles to get its head around symbols. (It's only 13 after all). Onslaughts of bands now enlisted Character Map as their friend in an attempt to remain underground in the age of technology. Most of them are really horrific, but a few are actually decent. Here's the best we could find:



(TZXTZX) So absolutely fucking stupidly over the top it


makes me want to cut my o p t i c a l n e r v e s . Unfortunately, TZXTZX's Zombie Rave Remixes actually have some substance, adding new sinister dimensions to sugar coated pop tracks. TZXTZX actually removed their ABBA “Gimme Gimme” remix when this feature was gaining momentum. Coincidence? 4)


Not entirely UnGoogleable as such, provided you get the right sequence of 0's and o's. o0o00 epitomise the 'Witch House' scene with Glitchy vox and crunching electro cymbals that would instill fear into Bear Grylls’ heart. 3)

(Alt J) The Triangle has long been the symbol of the mysterious. From the Egyptian pyramids to the Illuminati, no one can get enough of the 3 vertices. It's no surprise, then, that Leeds hipster 4 piece Alt-J incorporated the symbol into their name. Equal measures Jamie XX-esque post dubstep and Mr. Scruff trip hop, dusted with steel drums and Bhangra beats throughout made alt J's debut offering “An Awesome Wave” one of the essential summer albums of 2012.


(Chk Chk Chk) !!!'s name originated from t h e s u b t i t l e d interpretation of tribal “clicks”. Despite their initial obscurity, Chk Chk Chk have made waves all over the indie-sphere with their unique funk pop. Stand out single 'Yadnus' even made it onto GTA IV, and rightly so. 2)



(Ritualz) When the Chillwave scene fizzed out, a gaping ambient hole was left in music market Then †‡††appeared. All atmospheric synths and gloomy vocals compliment precision engineered visual art pieces to make Ritualz (also known as rritualzzz) one of the most blogged about underground artists of the past few years.

∆ (Alt J) Is it all for real though? I mean, sure, everyone loves to be a bit obscure, but can you be TOO difficult to find? At the end of the day, music is an industry. Bands need to make money. It doesn't matter how passionate musicians are, they still need to make a living. Is it all just an act, then? A publicity stunt? I suppose we could always ask them ourselves, but that'd mean blowing our cover...



Earlier this year we ran a short piece of copy on our news page about a burger. 'The Beast' is the brainchild of Vas Herodotou, the owner of Burgers At Blacks, a restaurant in Purley, South London. At 18,000 calories the sandwich contains a man's recommended food intake for a whole week. In one sitting the meal would make a very indulgent suicide for a carnivorous mammal. It was a great novelty story but it never occurred to me that one day I might come face to face with the monster and be locked in a life and death struggle like the gladiators of yore. (Little bit OTT there Joe - Ed) Giant food stories are tena-penny for the reason that they’re an easy record. All you need to do is throw enough batter together, fuck a hole in the middle and call it the world's biggest doughnut. The Beast was different however, and the

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media were all over it. As well as extensive print coverage there was a segment on Channel Five's The Wright Stuff and ITV's This Morning. So what was so special about this latest experiment in over-sized cuisine? Europe's largest burger isn't a scrap on the world's which is fifteen cubic feet, but that's a gross-smelling piece of furniture, not a challenge. The stroke of genius wasn't just to make a burger that was record-

draw that had left so many dreams and stomachs shattered. In the weeks I spent training for my challenge a lot of people asked me why I was doing it. It was a good question. Why do two people a year die climbing Mt. Everest? What goes through

“Be careful. It can kill you.” the manager told me. I'm still not sure whether he was referring to the burger or the knife... breakingly large, but to make one that you could order yourself and even stand a chance of eating. The timing couldn't have been better. Just as the Beast was created, the Zeitgeist was also being captured by a certain American TV show: “As fans of Man Vs. Food we wanted an English equivalent,” said Vas. The success of the show in the UK is surprising when you consider that the idea of a professional eater has always been used as anecdotal evidence for the gluttony of our stateside cousins. Rather than watching on in horror British audiences have gained an appetite for their own culinary challenges. So far no contender had successfully consumed the Beast and it wasn't long into my research that I began to feel the same mysterious

the mind of an animal like Sweet Pea, the canine who currently holds the world record for 'Most Steps Walked Down By A Dog Facing Forward While Balancing A Glass Of Water On Its Head'? Perhaps if you don't already know the answer to these questions you'll never find out. Even in the most discreet corner of Black's the arrival of the Beast was bound to attract a few stares. “This one's six ounces,” the waitress said nodding to my colleague Dave's Hawaiian burger, “but this one's one hundred and five.” None of the photographs had prepared me for The Beast in the flesh. It wasn't just its physicality that made it impossible to eat; I'd never seen something so large and organic that wasn't a sentient being. The burger

may not have had feelings but it certainly had character. “You'll need this.” The manager, Tony, passed me a six-inch blade and then said: “Be careful. It can kill you.” I'm still not sure whether he was referring to the burger or the knife. I'd been given some bad advice that if you eat something fast enough you can trick your body into thinking it's not full. As it turns out this is not true at all. Despite wolfing down the first few bites I was immediately surprised at the quality of the meal. I can honestly say that this was the best burger I'd ever tasted. The Beast's 2 inch thick patties retained an extraordinary amount of the meat's juices and the taste was exquisite. Unfortunately I couldn't savour it for long before the pain started to set in. Taking such huge bites meant that hunks of the burger were becoming lodged in my gullet. The massive milkshake the Beast came with wasn't a further challenge but served as essential lubrication. I felt like a cartoon pelican swallowing an anvil. It was only 20 minutes in before I hit a wall. I was a third of the way through and although I couldn't quite believe that the chunk missing was now in my stomach the idea of finishing the rest was unthinkable. Like David Hasselhoff after fifteen pints, no matter how much I wanted the burger, it wasn't going in. It was humiliating to concede defeat. God, if no-one else, knows that I tried. Maybe that's what counts, at least that's what losers tell themselves. The half of the burger we had left we took with us. No point letting it go to waste. The fifty ounces of meat served as a great ice-breaker and bought me some friends and booze at the hostel I was staying in. What we didn't eat we distributed amongst London's thriving homeless population. On this occasion the Beast had won but I don't feel like my plight was in vain. Other champions shall rise from the ashes of my downfall. Some shall win and some shall share my fate, but all the while pioneers like Vas Herodotou s h a l l c o n c o c t VERDICT?: larger and larger culinary behemoths for them to sink their teeth into. My war might be over, but the age of B r i t i s h competitive eating has just begun. (SORRY JOE) eless Wir13


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Russell Howard’s Good News returns to BBC Three, 9.00pm Thursday 27th September and the Best Bits of Series 2 are available to own on DVD from Monday 24th September.


words: joseph smith


possibly the biggest band you’ll think you’ve never heard of... This time last year the band Fun. were a relatively littleknown US indie band. One Jeff Bhasker-produced album and a couple of multi-platinum selling singles later and they're one of the biggest international names in pop.

Following two sold out London shows earlier this year, Fun.'s UK tour kicks off in October. We got to talk to the band's guitarist and founding member Jack

Antonoff about being on the road: “We've played the UK in the past many times with our other bands, but this feels like the moment when we're really going to make a go for it. I think there is a level of synergy that we haven't had. When we've come to the UK in the past it's been very random.” When Fun.'s single We Are Young was released in the US it was the first of a multimember rock band to top the Billboard hot 100 chart in over a decade. The song also

life “In my personal l fucked everything's al up...”

made download history; at the time it stood as the first and only song to have ever sold over 300,000 downloads consecutively for seven weeks straight. Now the Band has received two nominations at the MTV Video Music Awards. So what effect has fame worldwide fame had on the band? “Musically things haven't changed much because my goals have always been the same. As a band we've always wanted to play lots of shows and give everything we've got whether we're playing to one hundred people or ten thousand people. “In my personal life everything's all fucked up. There's been no time for anything, and you know, everything comes at a great cost. The demand and stuff for us to do is just more than ever. If we didn't have the three of each other to rely on then I'd probably be weeping in a hotel room somewhere.” Fun.'s UK tour starts on 2nd October @ Shepherd's Bush Empire, London. For more dates check out

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be the ! o r e h halls


How would you like to win the chance to treat yourself and 20 mates to a bloody awesome day? You’ve only just met these people, and now you’re all going to get treated like royalty, and of course you will be a hero on campus (at least for a while anyway!) for sorting it all. Wireless has teamed up with indie superclub night Propaganda, action adventure game LaserQuest and the ridiculously tasty tapas restaurant La Tasca to give you the best possible start to uni you could ask for! We’ll even chuck in your travel costs!

LaserQuest (Inside Sutton Superbowl) • St. Nicholas Way • Sutton • SM1 1AT Telephone: 020 8686 0003 •

LaserQuest is the ultimate sci-fi action adventure you can’t help but love the adrenaline pumping exhilaration of stalking your mates and unleashing a searing volley of laser fire in their direction. It’s like Call Of Duty, only more real (but less deadly). They’ve offered up 2 free games for you and your 20 mates. Nice!

La Tasca

La Tasca • 63-66 St. Martin's Lane • London WC2N 4JS Telephone: 020 7240 2011 ·

Quintessentially Spanish, La Tasca has a fresh and exciting menu which offers something for everyone. With dishes from the sea, the field and the garden our tapas dishes are sincerely Spanish and our paella's always deliver on flavour. There is a massive selection of veggie food on offer, as well as all the seafood and meaty dishes you could want. Tapas is all about sharing and enjoying your food with friends. So of course, La Tasca is the obvious choice for 21 of you to indulge in!

Propaganda O2 Academy 2 Islington N1 Centre • 16 Parkfield Street • Islington • N1 0PS Tel: 020 7288 4400 • For more information go to

Propaganda is the UK's biggest club night, taking place in 25 cities weekly across the UK. With a vast array of drinks promotions and a student friendly door price, Propaganda is a must attend destination for music lovers. Propaganda brings you some of the biggest names in music every week and recent guests have included, Mumford and Sons, The Vaccines, Bloc Party, Bombay Bicycle Club, Rizzle Kicks, Ed Sheeran, The Midnight Beast, Huw Stephens, Greg James and many more.


How To Enter Entering couldn’t be easier. It really couldn’t. All you need to do is head on over to our Facebook page at (or scan the QR code below), “like” the page and then tell us what uni you go to, and why you want to Be The Halls Hero!

SCAN ME es on Competition clos make sure 22nd October - so then! you get in before

massive thanks to:

Terms & Conditions Apply. No employees of UK Student Media or any of the participating companies are allowed to enter. Entries must be made by 22nd October 2012. The winner will be notified via Facebook, and the prize must be claimed within 7 days of notification, or we’ll give it to a runner up. Winner will be chosen at random. Good luck!

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get the look:


words: amy pay and clare barry

Freshers' season is upon us, and that means three things: new beginnings, excessive partying and an influx of money from your student loan. When you're dipping your toes into the excitement of university, you don't want to be limited by the contents of your wardrobe. At the same time, you can't afford to party hard and have the entire stock of a clothes store in your possession. The solution to this is to buy a couple of basic items that can be styled into workable, changeable outfits; think of it as recycling and restyling rather than outfit repeating. These outfits use one garment as the foundation piece for a number of versatile looks. Try it yourself!Both the girls and lads looks can be found at (where you can also get a cheeky 10% student discount!)

girls look This dress, also available in sugary pink or bold green, is easily styled into different looks with carefully chosen statement accessories. Try an eyecatching clutch bag to inject personality or switch between basic black wedges and colour-block heels depending on how formal (and how practical) you want to be.





lads look


Team either of these striped tees with dark tightfit jeans and baseball shoes for a casual day-tonight look or slim leg black chinos and a pair of simple lace ups for a smarter feel. TIGHT VERY LIGHT BLACK by CHEAP MONDAY £41.95 GOBI HEAVY by BOBBIE BURNS £ 71.95




and accessorise... Let us all put our pride away for a moment and admit that it doesn't matter how old we are, something buried deep within all of us still manages to get a little bit excited when the shops start advertising their "Back to School" merchandise. From four years of age, we're socially conditioned to believe that having the coolest pencil case will do good things for our social status. Unfortunately, many have us haven't managed to conquer this irrational impulse, so let us guide you through the social jungle with our "face it, I'm better than you are"freshers’ accessories... RETRO RANGE at PAPERCHASE, from £10

New range of slightly ironic laptop sleeves, camera cases and phone-cases from Paperchase, including a kindle cover that makes it look like a book. Particularly handy for the severely hung-over and brief outbursts of amnesia. 10% student discount For those of us simply too flippant to make our own decisions and potentially too drunk to remember the answers, Topshop have conveniently provided the magic eight ball in a pen, so we can t n t discou n e d u t write them down. s % 10 PREDICT A PEN from TOPSHOP - £5


Big enough to fit all your crap in, effortlessly cool and get 20% off with a valid student card. STATIONARY RANGE - MEDIUM NOTEBOOK from ACCESSORIZE - £6

Accessorize are offering 15% of all their stationary with a valid NUS card, which has all the quirky charm without stepping outside of student budget. eless Wir23


along with your Text COMPS 5 plus your answer, 430 name and town/city to 07786 202 eless Wir25

words: james mottram


A quick word with the writer, director and all round clever bugger behind the arguably the best sci-fi film in years... W i t n e s s m e ets The Terminator – that's one way to describe Rian J o h n s o n ' s extraordinary new scifi film Looper. Primarily set in 2044, Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Joe, a mob assassin – known as a 'looper' – whose targets are sent to him from thirty years further

in the future, a point when time-travel has finally been invented. But problems start when he recognizes his next hit as his future self (Bruce Willis), who escapes his death and begins to run amok. Coming after Johnson's promising 2005 debut, the high school neo-noir Brick,

a n d h i s r a t h e r disappointing con-men follow-up The Brothers Bloom, Looper is a remarkable step up for the 38 year-old writerdirector. After the deliberate “unwieldiness” of Bloom, says Johnson, “it felt like a nice new challenge would be to try and do something that was very, very focussed.” Unquestionably he has, crafting a clockwork-like story that's as tightly constructed as that giant of the genre, Back to the Future. An idea he initially conceived a decade ago as a short film, Johnson wrote and re-wrote until he ironed out every logic crinkle the timetravelling plot threw up. “I had it relatively easy with Looper, and it still gave me endless headaches,” he says. While he admits a liking for Shane Carruth's


indie Primer, which “really gets into the math of time-travel”, when I ask if he cast Willis as a nod to his role in Terry Gilliam's Twelve Monkeys, he denies it. “It might have even been a little frightening, that connection, just because that's such a seminal timetravel movie.” Rather, Johnson wanted to play with “that Bruce Willis thing”, as he puts it – the actor's oft-heroic persona. “I didn't want to just play Bruce against type. I wanted to play him to type, but in a way that has some really deep moral complications.” One of the myriad pleasures of Looper is watching the star interact with his 'younger self' – Willis even recorded his voice for Gordon-Levitt, so the younger actor could emulate him. “I think Bruce made some comment to Joe like 'Ah, you sound like me!'” As for Gordon-Levitt – fast-becoming one of the year's hottest actors after The Dark Knight Rises – Johnson wrote

Scan the QR code to watch the trailer

specifically for him. Having worked together on Brick, he first told the actor about the idea back when it was a short-movie script. “This thing has been brewing between us for a long while,” Johnson says. There's even room for British actress Emily Blunt to turn in one of the performances of her career – but to explain her role as single mother/farm owner Sara would reveal too much of Johnson's deliciously dense tale. Suffice it to say, after a summer of big-budget sequels, remakes and

reboots, Looper is refreshingly original – even if its director is too modest to say so. “The word 'original' itself is a kind of a misnomer,” he says. “A lot of the imagery in the film, you can point to everything from Witness to Blade Runner to Akira.” Even so, blending sci-fi with horror and romance, Johnson frequently throws us for a loop. “That's what I place a premium on,” he says. “A movie that's going to go places I don't expect it to.”

Looper is released in cinemas on 28th Sept

“It felt like a nice new challenge would be to try and do something that was very, very focussed...” eless Wir27


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less opportunities to get down to your Now you’re in the capital city, there will be count g to town. Here is our pick of the best nearest venue to check out some of the bands comin was down at the front, man...”. new bands, so you can say “yeah, I saw em first, I Alessi Laurent-Marke is a writer of sweet, simple and honest songs reminiscent of Belle And Sebastian or The White Stripe's old acoustic stuff. What's more, according to Wikipedia her dad was one of the producers behind Shooting Stars and Snuff Box so you at least owe it to him to go to all her gigs.

Alessi’s Ark



Former members of Joe Lean & The Jing Jang Jong got back together, bought some paisley shirts and started making 60's psych inspired shoegaze stuff. It's all extremely good, and they rather aptly supported the Horrors earlier this year. This lot will probably get pretty big, so make sure you head out to see them when you get a chance!

This hotly tipped trio produce a beautiful minimalist sound with hugely affecting vocals courtesy of their singer Elena Tonra. They've been in Abbey Road Studios working on their forthcoming debut, and going off what little has been released so far it's going to be something special.

Savages It's unavoidable that Savages will get a lot of comparisons to Joy Division because of their trebley post punk bass, tight drum patterns and the lead singer's Ian Curtis-esque haircut. Another thing they have in common with JD is their tight, superhumanly energetic live shows, which is even more impressive when you consider that they've hardly been together for a year. Their single Husbands is well worth a listen...

Before Aluna Francis and George Reid decided to combine names and musical forces they were involved in high maintenance electro and math rock outfits respectfully. Their joint venture consists of much simpler melodic pop tunes sung over some super smart R'n'B production work. The pair have embraced the modern American mainstream in all its glory and set it back down in an interesting direction.



Alessi’s Citizens! Ark

Theme Park

Stubborn Heart

Palma Violets

Awesome electro-pop love songs with a real icey, dark edge. Citizens! have all the restraint and stylistic prowess of the best 80s post-punk groups and if nothing else, danceability. They have a handful of UK dates in September, before buggering off on tour around the world so we wholeheartedly recommend catching them when you get the chance.


Theme Park's rare style of melodic funk-rock is quickly earning them a lot of attention. The popular comparison is to Talking Heads, which is completely fair on tracks like 'Milk' with its scratchy guitar and simple keyboard melodies. They’re on tour at the moment, make sure you catch them on the dates that aren’t sold out!

Storybooks are a six piece band who play indie rock with an old fashioned sincerity rarely seen these days. Lead singer Kristofer Harris has an excellent melancholy tinged voice which works a treat on their quieter numbers.

Electro duo Stubborn Heart have taken on the near herculean task of bringing an emotional edge to the macho world of dubstep, with their self proclaimed “electronic soul from the heart". The results sound blippy and emotion wrenching, a bit like Thom Yorke's solo stuff. Or if you imagine Hurts having a sexy tango with Skrillex.

The music of Rough Trade's Palma Violets has been scarce throughout the year but luckily they've been touring relentlessly so you're bound to see one of their chaotic live shows before you hear a record. They often play in their PJs and few months back they were also arrested in Liverpool for breaking into a helter skelter. If they can stay out of jail long enough to record their debut then it will definitely be worth listening to.

The Adamski Kid Winner of Sideline Magazine's 'Face The Beat' Competition, this is a manic amalgamation of influences which results in some startling and catchy tracks.

With huge vibes of that grungey West coast lo-fi sound, Splashh could well be Britain's answer to Wavves. Come to think of it even their names are quite similar, which is kind of fitting given that both bands eschew originality in favour of being really loud, getting wasted and just being awesome in general.


Dead Social Club 6-piece electronictinged indie group comparable to the Rakes / Depeche Mode. Keep an eye on ‘em!


BEN DREW Badass Rapper Turned Badass Copper

When musicians crossover to film the results can range from disastrous (see Britney Spears), to brilliant (Johnny Depp) to downright bizarre (David Bowie). So you'd be wise to be a little trepidatious at the news that Ben Drew, the man best known as rapper and songwriter Plan B, has just taken one step further into a movie career. His latest album Ill

Manors is the sound track to a film of the same name, which he directed. However,

a down-to-earth copper in the film adaptation of 70s TV show The Sweeney, which premieres on the 12th of September this year. We caught up with Ben and asked him if it felt strange playing a policeman. “I had to think about what would make me, Ben Drew, become a copper. I didn't have a great relationship with the police when I was younger. My back-story, in my head, is that there has been a tragedy in the family, an injustice. We are trying to say that my past is from a council estate, from the

“My experience of police is they were not likeable. I had to think 'Have I ever met any coppers who were alright?'...” contrary to what ideas you may have about rappers doing anything apart from rapping, the feature received rave reviews. Now Ben plays George Carter,


wrong side of the tracks. So what would make someone like that become a copper, knowing that all their friends would turn against them?” It is not the first time that

Ben has ventured into a film role, but so far his characters have notably been on the other side of the law. In 2008 he played a part in award-winning youth drama Adulthood which chronicled the lives of disadvantaged young men turning to crime, and in Harry Brown his character is evil enough to shoot a lovably old Michael Caine. “I think he [the character of Carter] would turn a blind eye to soft drugs and underage drinking. I don't think he is concerned with that part — speeding fines and TV licences and things like that. With crime there are a lot of grey areas. Not every drug dealer is a horrible c—t. Serial killers, murderers and rapists — that is who he is concerned with. My experience of police is they were not likeable. I had to think 'Have I ever met any coppers who were all right?' And I have. I have met some really nice geezers who have told me they are police and

when I met them I thought they were in it for the right reasons... the same reasons that Carter is in it for. “ One big incentive for Mr. B to star in The Sweeney was the chance to play alongside legendary cockney actor Ray Winstone. “Ray was the only hero. I always wanted to be in a film with him. Obviously, not to play alongside him but just to be a support to him, so it was a massive boost to me. I had met Nick [Love, director]a couple of times before he offered me the role, and I got along with him. He invited my mate and me to the Outlaw set, and we were extras and that. It was nice.” Although the name is the same, the new version of The Sweeney strays far from the plot of the original series. Director, Nick Love has expressed his intention of building an action blockbuster around the setting of contemporary London and one of the scenes in the trailer even depicts Trafalgar Square as the location of a shoot out. The spirit of the TV show remains however, and theme of cops as dubious anti-heroes is the main premise. “When I met Ray we discussed Carter's backstory. This film is more like

what they did with Casino Royale and with Batman Begins, being inventive, so it allowed us to invent a back-story for Carter. “I look and I see what exactly I am doing wrong and do my best to change it. I don't think you should ever approach a film and think 'I want to get a BAFTA out of this' because you won't. Just try to get through it and don't embarrass yourself.” Although the term 'gritty social realism' is an overused cliché in regards to British Cinema, the thing that separates both Ben Drew's and Nick Love's film work from Hollywood blockbusters is the sense that they aren't intended to be pure entertainment. So

what lesson, if any, can we take from the characters in The Sweeney? “It's loyalty over everything. If you haven't got loyalty in any walk of life, no matter how far you get, you're in trouble. You can get right to the top and look back and be very lonely because you have fucked all your mates to get there. It is very important to get to the top but keep your mates, and if you can't do that then fuck getting to the top at all.” The Sweeney is released in cinemas nationwide on Sept 12th

scan the qr code to watch the trailer here

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Do you think outside of the box? Wireless Magazine has the following vacancies available in London:

Journalists We’re constantly on the lookout for new writers to contribute to the magazine! Wireless is entirely written by students, for students, as the whole aim is to give up and coming journos the opportunity to get their work published across the UK.

London Music Editor We’re looking for one person to oversee the music scene side of things over in the big smoke. You’ll have a team of writers working with you, but you’ll be the head honcho that decides who does what. This involves getting tickets to about three million gigs this year and possibly investing in some ear plugs....

Brand Manager Are you studying marketing or events management? This is probably an ideal job for you. We’re looking for one person to oversee regular events in the city to help promote the magazine. You’ll also be responsible for the street team, who will essentially be your bitches. (Not really.)

Street Team Possibly the least mentally taxing job outside of a burger restaurant, we’re looking for people to distribute magazines and generally help promote the mag to students around the city. Easy money, basically. Email us at with a CV and covering letter Please make sure you include “London” and the job you are after, in the subject title. Or give us a shout if you just want a bit more information about the roles. Or even if you just want to say hello. We’d love to hear from you.



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is your perfect THE MASS whathangover cure? DEBATE

(warning: contains real life opinions of some rather vulgar people)

Johnathan, Liverpool Wireless: What is your perfect hangover cure? Jonathan: You need to scare the hangover out of you with the terrifying world of opposites. The best two being a hot bath followed immediately by a cold shower and then maybe a cup of tea and some ice cream. Wireless: So how does that work? Jonathan: Your body wont know what’s going on and you'll be cured. Or you’ll have a heart attack...

Laura, London Wireless: What is your perfect hangover cure? Laura: Normal full fat coke. Must be in a can, freezing cold and drunk within 5 minutes of opening. You feel like arse for a few minutes, then you burp all the hangover demons out.

Nick, Barrow Upon Soar Wireless: What is your perfect hangover cure? Nick: Phoning people more hungover than me and screaming at them.

Alex, Doncaster Wireless: Hello Alex, so tell us what is your perfect hangover cure? Alex: A full litre of pure orange juice, some scrambled egg on toast then a trip to Toby Carvery. Always works!

Phil, Liverpool

Wireless: What is your perfect h a n g o v e r c u r e ? Phil: Eggs for the cysteine, which helps break down the acetaldehyde, and a banana for potassium replacement, an isotonic sports drink like Powerade for dehydration and replacing lost salt. Fucking Science.

Robyn, Leeds Wireless: So Robyn, tell us, what is your perfect hangover cure? Robyn: Water, Diet Coke, a meatball Subway and chips and then my box set of "Friends".

Matt, Coventry Wireless: Hello Matt, so what is your perfect hangover cure, young man? Matt: Bacon, fried eggs, tea and a wank Wireless: Delightful. Moving on...


James,Liverpool Wireless: So what is your perfect hangover cure, James? James: Two paracetamol, the rest of last night’s kebab, and 12 hours bed rest before bed.

Jasmine, Liverpool Wireless: What is your perfect hangover cure? Jasmine: Sex. It'll either make you forget how shit you feel or you'll get ketchup bottle syndrome’ Wireless: Ketchup bottle what now? Jasmine: A couple of bangs on the rear end and it all comes out the mouth. Try it! Apart from maybe being covered in vom what's the worst that can happen?

Isaac, Liverpool

Khia, Manchester

Wireless: What is your perfect hangover cure? Isaac: Lipton's Peach Ice Tea is pretty good. The perfect blend of caffeine, sugar, and r e f r e s h m e n t . But the only thing that properly cures a hangover is the hangover poo...

Wireless: Hello Khia. What is your perfect hangover cure? Khia: A million bags of crisps, a huge bottle of fizzy pop and three series of "Black Books".

Bethan, Liverpool Wireless: What is your perfect hangover cure? Bethan: I sing songs as I'm vomiting. Wireless: Any in particular? Jane: So far my song bank consists of the opening to Bump N' Grind by R. Kelly, and also pointing at my vomit repeatedly saying "there's my soul, I threw up my soul.". I have a picture, you can use it. Wireless: Erm, wow thanks that sounds lovely. Anyway...

Michael, Durham

Paul, Coventry

Wireless: What is your perfect hangover cure? Michael: Berocca, Vitamin C tablets, lots of water, then tea. In that order.

Wireless: What is your perfect hangover cure? Paul: I like to stuff their body parts into bin bags, weigh the bags down with rocks, take my boat out and dump the bags over board into a marine trench. Wireless: Ok. Wait, what...?

Andrew, Liverpool

Wireless: What is your perfect hangover cure? Andrew: You know I suffer terribly with hangovers. I used to get in, eat my Mc'ds with a ton of salt and tomato sauce, have about 5 pieces of bread to mop up the ketchup, have a couple of multi vitamins and a couple of vitamin c tablets and then stand at the sink with a pint glass and wash it all down with as much water as I could drink... Never worked.

NEXT MONTH: WHAT SUPERPOWER WOULD YOU WANT AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH IT? Text 07930 496 605 or email us at texts are your standard network charge.

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Festival Round Up

Our guide to some of the summer’s best festivals, reviewed and photographed by you....


words: emma williams

klife As its usual glorious mudfest, Par e-up lin ty didn't disappoint with a hef s. act ne of genre leading DJs and headli been booked for almost every has he proved why

Labrinth's set g it with his soaring choruses Brit festival this summer; killin DJ slot set the tone for the e's and loveable synth mic. Zane Low ix of Jay-Z and Kanye. Dizzee rem g tin mel e fac a h wit ht nig first wed the Manchester crowd why he Rascal closed the weekend and sho ite. is renowned as a festival favour

Beach Break

words: emma williams Chase and Status' set was inc redible, even just for the col ossal turn-out on the field. 20,000 stu in a muddy field on a Welsh coa dents and graduates collected stline at dusk to see one of the biggest names in electro. Highlight of the long weekend had to be listening to the 'it ' man of the moment, Ben Howard clo se his set with his debut single 'The Wolves ' at sunset. I'll also never forget my bewild ered state one murky morning when I came acr oss Levi Roots performing some reggae classi cs.


words: michael glynn

ary of This year's Download saw the 10th annivers er bett the biggest rock festival in the UK and what and k drun way is there to celebrate than getting listening to loud music?

ntly reformed With The Prodigy, Metallica and a rece the bill, ing topp ath Sabb (minus one member) Black any time y part this ng etti forg be t 100,000 punters won' load Down in soon. 2012 saw the most diverse line up l rsia rove cont most the g history with Chase & Status bein the even e stag that hit they once act in recent years but most ardent of metal heads were won over. That's not to say there was no shortage of rock music though, with the likes of Machine Head, Slash and Trivium providing plenty of material for thos e more take n to headbanging than bodypopping. Here's to another ten years!



words: rosey brown Boomtown festiv al has grown in popularity year blessed by sunn y weather, 2012 after year, and saw it blossom dystopian mass. into a sprawlin g With legendary ac a wonderful surp ts such as Tanya Stephens, the Sk ri Cliff, the fest se guest appearance from regg atalites, and ival was a gr ae giant Jimmy mixture of old and new. Highli eat ghts of the new in inducing electr cluded the joyo swing of Cara Palace, chille van d back reggae from Natty, and dirt y dubstep from Jack Beats.


words: harriet midgley

Hideout Festival, although only in its second year is already one of Croatia's biggest summer festivals. With tight connections to popular UK electro events including The Warehouse Project and Chibuku the line-up was bound to be amazing. I got the chance to see Annie Mac, Claude VonStroke, and Chase & Status all for a surprisingly cheap £99. And, if the line-up isn't exciting enough, the more adventurous amongst you can try bungee jumping over the crowd. As you do.

Leeds/Reading words: zoe waterson / alan ormrod

With arguably the best line up in recent years, Leeds and Reading 2012 certainly packed a punch. Top billed bands included Paramore, The Cure, Kasabian, The Black Keys and the one and only Foo Fighters! And it hardly rained at all! The punk stage was a popular choice throughout the three days, with bands such as Random Hand and Me First & The Gimme Gimmes causing all manner of mayhem. At the Reading site, shock inclusions Green Day played an astounding set, ranging from golden oldies like 'Welcome to Paradise' to the brand new 'Oh Love'. Overall though, none could top the legendary Foos. Their set included rarely played songs such as 'Winnebago' and 'Alone & Easy Target' and closed the show with classic 'Everlong' the lyrics of which summed up the whole festival experience “If everything could ever feel this real forever...”

For all the full festival reviews and pictures visit Remember, we’re always looking for new writers, so get in touch via the website for more info! eless Wir41

...LONDON (and a bit)

Fri 7th Sept

Wed 12th Sept

Thurs 13th Sept

Wed 19th Sept

Thurs 20th Sept

Sat 8th Sept

Fri 14th Sept

Sat 15th Sept B.o.B: 21st Sept@IndigO2

Sun 9th Sept

Fri 21st Sept Sun 16th Sept

Mon 10th Sept Mon 17th Sept

Tues 11th Sept

Sat 22nd Sept

Tues 18th Sept Sun 23rd Sept


Sun 30th Sept

Fri 5th Oct

Mon 1st Oct

Dan Deacon: 26th Sept @Scala

Mon 24th Sept

Sat 6th Oct Tues 2nd Oct

Wed 3rd Oct

Tues 25th Sept Thurs 4th Oct

Sun 7th Oct

Mon 8th Oct

Tues 9th Oct Wed 26th Sept

Thurs 27th Sept

Radiohead – 9th October @ The 02 – The ticket prices are through the roof and you'll barely be able to see the stage and the jury's still out on their last album, but Radiohead are still definitely worth going to see.

Fri 28th Sept

Sat 29th Sept

Beardyman – 22nd Sept @ Koko – Probably the best beatboxer in the UK. Like a one man band, but considerably cooler. Imitate him, whilst simultaneously spitting at your mates.

Lady Gaga + The Darkness – 8th Sept @ Twickenham Stadium – The pairing of a faux 70's comedy band with the world's least imaginative pop nihilist is a strange one. A bit like a turd pizza with a base made of turd. Russell Kane – 28th October @ HMV Apollo – I once saw a bird's egg fall out of a tree and watched as the partially formed chick foetus screamed out silently for the life it never had and I've still never seen anything as desperate as this man's haircuts.

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Wed 10th Oct

Mon 15th Oct

Wed 24th Oct

Thurs 25th Oct

Tues 16th Oct

Thurs 11th Oct

Wed 17th Oct

Fri 26th Oct

Thurs 18th Oct

Sat 27th Oct

Sun 28th Oct Marina and The Diamonds: 11th Oct @The Forum

Fri 19th Oct

Sat 20th Oct Fri 12th Oct

Sun 21st Oct

Mon 29th Oct

Tues 30th Oct

Sat 13th Oct

Mon 22nd Oct

Wed 31st Oct

Sun 14th Oct

Tues 23rd Oct SEND US YOUR LISTINGS listingslondon@ukstud


On Threeen Big Sc the best bits at the pictures this month

Well it's been a while since the last preview/guess page. This is our round up of what to watch this/next month and a good stab at the

possible plot. We must have pissed someone off as we now get invites to press screenings, but that would just ruin the fun...

On The Road in cinemas Fri 12th Oct Jack Kerouac's 1959 cult classic has been made into a movie starring the girl from Twilight (Kristen Stewart). Moving on, the book is rumoured to be written in 1951 entirely on toilet roll and documents the author's spontaneous road trips across the America. This is a classic from the beat generation and is definitely worth giving a go. In truth the cast is excellent and it's directed by Walter Salles (2004's The Motor Cycle Diaries). If nothing else the book will pop up every half hour of so at every student party you ever attend. Maybe you can chip in before someone brings up Hunter S Thompson.

Paranorman 3D in cinemas Fri 14th Sept Don't be put off by the marketing campaign, this is not the latest kids cash cow to fall off the production line. From the same team that brought

you 2009's Coraline this is a visual feast to be enjoyed by all ages. As you can guess from the title it's about a kid who can see ghoulish things knocking about. Apparently he must do something epic to save his town and allow the plot to last 92 minutes.

Taken 2 in cinemas Thurs 4th Oct Remember the retired CIA guy who had a certain set of skills? Clearly one of those skills wasn't to stay the fuck out of trouble and live the quiet life. If Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson) had a hobby, we guess it would quite literally be throwing shit directly into an industrial size fan. Don't worry his family haven't had the ridiculous misfortune (unless you need a sequel) of having another daughter kidnapped. This time Neeson must face the wrath of the mob boss whose goons he killed in the first movie. I'm betting on a high body count in this one, we will take each way bets on over 80 corpses.

Scan any of the QR codes to watch the trailer. For more film previews, reviews, trailers and ticket giveaways visit

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WIN THESE: Text the word COMPS along with the competition number plus your answer to 07786 202430 including your name and uni. We’ll select the winner on the 1st November, and let you know if you’ve won asap! Texts are just your standard charge, we don’t make any sly profits or anything...



For your chance to win every prize on this page, simply log onto our Facebook page and “like” us. One new friend will be chosen at random on 1st Nov. It’s worth a shot!

1 The Pesto Manifesto! Pesto is, quite simply, the tastiest use of basil, olive oil, pine nuts and cheese known to humankind. You can stick it in your pasta, you can throw it on a pizza, you can lick it off a loved one. Whatever tickles your pickle, it’ll still taste awesome. So the absolute heroes at Sacla have given us a whole year’s supply of Pesto for you to win! Just tell us True or False, in the right quantities pesto can be mixed with peanut butter to make a delicious but deadly explosive.

the best pair of headphones you’ll 2 Probably ever own. You know sometimes when your favourite song comes on your iPod, you find yourself strutting down the street like you own it? Well now, you can basically become the coolest person on that street with these RZA headphones from WeSC - worth a cool £150! Your ears are going to feel like you’ve taken them out for a five course dinner.... True or False, if you turn up a Wu Tang album to full blast, your head has got a 24% better chance of exploding.

Pong. The best thing you can do with 3 Beer ping pong balls outside of Thailand. We’ll let you Google the other thing. Anyway, this is a great game involving throwing ping pong balls into cups and getting drunk. It sounds daft and it is, largely, but it’s also a great way to spend your evening. Especially if you have already resigned yourself to the fact that you aren’t getting your house deposit back and you don’t mind spilling beer on the carpet...The awesome people at have given us two pong packs to give away! Just tell us True or False, The world record for most ping pong balls t be fired from a person’s mouth is 180 in the space of a 30 seconds. (hint: it’s obviously false)

4 Hola, Amigos! So you’re a bigwig drinks company, and you’re thinking “hey, on the one hand everyone likes beer, and on the other hand everyone likes tequila - what should we do?”. Well put those hands together Mr Drinksman, because Amigos is an awesome beer with tequila in it. Chuck in a cheeky wedge of lime and you’ve got yourself a full on refreshing beverage, which wouldn’t go amiss at, say, a Mexican night in (see P26!). Anyway, we have two crates to give away, just tell us True or False, in Mexico the expression “Se acabó la cerveza” is roughly translated as “The beer is all gone” and is often followed by a sobbing noise.


London - Wireless Magazine - 2012 Freshers Edition  

2012 Freshers Edition of Wireless Magazine - London version. Featuring interviews with Russell Howard, Rian Johnson, Charlotte Ritchie, Fu...

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