pet me hard

pet me hard

Šaula.co 2019

preface by Anita Surånyi When I moved to New York City in 2014, I had just started a new job, meaning I was working a lot, trying to settle in, meeting new people, making new friends, discovering my new neighborhood and just getting comfortable in my new city. I was also single, but I didn’t have much time, nor was I really focused on finding a relationship. So I started swiping like everyone else.

These were my parameters: Men, 28-38 years old, within two miles of my location.

During those years, I was living in the Bushwick, South Williamsburg and Bed-Stuy neighborhoods of Brooklyn, and I occasionally went home to Budapest for a visit and opened my apps from there too.

It didn’t take long to notice some patterns. One of the strangest, at least to me, was the huge number of boys photographed with animals - and not just cats and dogs but also fish, goats, birds, llamas, bears, cows...even a donkey. I was confused by this phenomenon, and so I started taking screenshots to send to friends to cheer them (or myself) up.

The more photos I saw in this genre, the more curious I became about the origin and motivation of these guys with their animals. Were they referencing classical portraiture? Trying to look sensitive? Was it tongue in cheek? Were they trying to look responsible? Adventurous? Loving? Funny? Cynical? Does posing with an animal serve the same function as showing up for a date with a bouquet of flowers?

What is clear from all of this is that these guys, in one way or another, are trying to bond or express sexual interest - in other words, they are trying to flirt. But why animals? For clues, I turned to social anthropology.

Being on these apps means not getting to meet in person - at least at first - which means having to to be creative to make a good first impression. I think of this as being similar to male birds trying to impress females with their unique dances. I realized I needed to learn more about human mating rituals. Social anthropology experts say some non-verbal flirting behaviors are universal, but not everyone flirts in exactly the same way. A 2010 study by Jeffrey A. Hall, an expert on human communication, identified five distinct flirting styles:

Traditional - following conventional gender roles (i.e., men approach women) Physical - openly expressing romantic interest Sincere - interested in forming an emotional connection, genuine interest in getting to know the other person Playful - flirting as fun (Interestingly, this is the only flirtation style where men rank themselves more highly than women) Polite - People who use the polite flirting style are particularly cautious and seek to avoid any behavior that might be deemed inappropriate.

In all of the pictures I collected throughout the years, I could perfectly fit each guywith-animal into one of these categories. But this doesn’t answer the question: Why animals?

In the 1990s, the academic John Bradshaw created the field of anthrozoology, which examines interactions between humans and other animals. He and a bunch of fellow scientists came to the conclusion that pet-keeping is a basic part of human nature rooted deeply in our own species’ evolution. Good interactions with animals have been shown to have a profound physiological effect, causing changes in oxytocin and in beta endorphins. (Coincidentally - or not - these hormones are both involved with sexual arousal and orgasm.) But Bradshaw’s research also points out something very interesting related to our present question, something he calls the “trustworthiness effect.” People pictured with animals are deemed to be more trustworthy by people who encounter them.

Incredibly, just describing someone as having a friendly dog WITH them makes them appear more trustworthy to others. Bradshaw writes that people who are seen to be good with animals have historically been more accepted by other people in their tribe, and in some cases marriage partners have been chosen based on affinity with animals.

The series of pictures stands as an experimental socio-anthro-zoological question intended to open a broader conversation on the aesthetics of our current dating lives, a.k.a. current mating rituals.

P.S. I met my husband on Tinder. He was posing with a kitten.

pet me hard contributors Noémi Varga Júlia Széphelyi Anita Surányi Andi Soós Eszter Lányi Hanna Caffentzis Andrea Ausztrics

preface by Anita Surányi

special thanks Flóra Pálhegyi Krisztián Puskár

created by Andrea Ausztrics

published by aula.co 2019