Kisholoy - April 2022

Digital Kisholoy A monthly magazine of Ananda Mandir youth group

March & April, 2022

Kisholoy is produced for the youth members of Ananda Mandir. The articles, drawing or photographs of this magazine are copyrighted and should not be reproduced in any other forms without the consents of the owners.

We would like to acknowledge the contributions of the followings: Articles: Myeisha Chakravarty (age 8), Anooshka Sen (age 9), Shama Dinesh (age 21) Drawing: cover - Anooshka Sen (age 9) Inside - Nora Pancoast (age 3), Sophie Pancoast (age 5), Boidurjo Bandyopadhyay (age 7), Myeisha Chakravarty (age 8), Mireya Chakravarty (age 8), Anooshka Sen (age 9), Editorial: Dipak K. Sarkar, Utpal Sengupta, Sudipta Bhanja Choudhury Magazine Composer: Dipak K. Sarkar For information about the Kisholoy – contact Dipak K. Sarkar via email (Dipakksarkar@hotmail.com).

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A Spring Poem by- Myeisha Chakravarty (age 8) The long winter nights are going away The beautiful spring is making its way Flowers are blooming, birds are chirping The sun is shining and snow is melting Bears and squirrels are slowly coming out Rivers are full with colorful trout Kids play in the grassy fields The sun shines and the winter yields

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Drawing by - Nora Pancoast (age 3)

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Drawing by - Sophie Pancoast (age 5)

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Painting of a lilac representing beginning of spring Drawing by - Mireya Chakravarty (age 8)

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Tulips Drawing by - Anooshka Sen (age 9)

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Halleys my beloved fish!!! by- Anooshka Sen (age 9) With a very heavy and sad heart I have to say that my beloved pet fish “Halleys passed away this week. Halleys was a bright reddish orange Veil tail male betta fish.

He was my first pet, a birthday gift from my parents. I really wanted a pet because both my parents had pets while growing up and we ended up getting a fish because it was less work. Nonetheless Halleys was the perfect pet for me. I named my fish Halleys after the famous HALLEY’S COMET as his fins resembled the tail of a comet.

Nonetheless Halleys was the perfect pet for me. I named my fish Halleys after the famous HALLEY’S COMET as his fins resembled the tail of a comet.

Halleys was very playful and curious. He was always alert of his surroundings and keen for food. In his tank he had a rock mountain with some plants growing from the cracks. Halleys loved to camouflage himself between the cracks and the plants and would come out if someone entered the room or even when someone was looking at him and talking. We used to play hide and seek, Halleys would find new spots in the rock mountain to hide and I would always find where he is hiding. He would know when I opened the top of the tank to feed him. We developed this game that he would come and nibble the food from my pinky.

Later we put a shell in, so he could hide in it. Soon it became his favorite spot to rest. Then we added a big conch shell and we took out the rock mountain because his was shredding from the rough edges of the mountain. Initially he wasn’t very fond of the conch shell, but later he discovered different ways get to get in and out of it and it became his new hiding spot.

Halleys was a great pet and I wish he was with me, but now that he isn’t, I hope that in his next life, he is free and can stay in his native land of South Asia, and not be in some aquarium at a pet store. Then he could be with his family and free in his natural habitat in the tropics.

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Drawing by - Boidujo Bandyopadhyay (age 7)

Holi is a festival of colors. I like to play colors with my friends and parents.

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Drawing by - Asha Kuriyan (age 7)

I drew this portrait of my friend who sits at my table in Art class. I wanted to draw her because she is a very good artist.

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Five Years from Today By - Shama Dinesh (age 21) For years have I heard people ask me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”, and with all the naivety I could conjure, I have always answered, not realizing that I didn’t have to; not realizing that I didn’t want to.

I have been on the receiving end of that question numerous times and so has many others I grew up with. I heard them discuss their dreams they said they would strive to make a reality and I heard them describe their favourite professions and aspirations they were confident in pursuing. Completely in awe by their determination and in desperation as to not feel left out, I started mimicking them. Their dreams. Their goals. Their desires. However, I realized- perhaps far too late- that in my fear of being left out, I failed to have a dream of my own.

With this moment of clarity gained, I wondered how many of the people who spoke so passionately about achieving their dreams actually knew what they were talking about. Did they fake their way through it as well, or, if they meant what they said, did they fail to make their dreams come true? Because the one thing I was sure of was the fact that there were too many of us who answered ‘astrophysicist’ as the profession we intend to pursue and now I know many of us are studying other fields instead.

Dreaming about your ideal future isn’t necessarily a bad thing when you know how to draw a line between dreams and reality. There are dreams that will never come true, dreams we cannot afford to have, dreams within our paygrade, and dreams you should not pursue.

Or maybe you don’t have any dreams at all. I don’t.

I don’t see myself happy in the profession I am supposed to pursue, despite it assuring the stability I might need in life. I don’t see myself surrounded by friends or family. I don’t see myself write about the million things I am scared to talk about. I don’t see myself freed from the shackles that keep binding me. I don’t see myself live a life that I had planned few years back and that’s okay because that was a dream that I had built for myself based on others’ expectations and needs. It was not what I wanted, which I know now because I was never given a chance to figure out who I am exactly if I am not what others view me as.

Whether you turn fifteen or fifty, you may feel like you are aging too fast and there is this unspeakable pressure crushing you, making you feel like an absolute failure. Be it problems as insignificant as not having the perfect outfit to wear to problems like earning enough to survive, there are moments that you feel compelled to compare yourself to your peers who seem to “have it all figured out” and in your desperation to not fall back and be left alone, you may end up losing yourself. But there is no need to live your life in a way to appease others’ expectations. You owe it to yourself to try living your fullest.

Who is ever sure of reincarnation or heaven and hell or whatever lies ahead after you pass? The one thing for certain is the present you live in and it is too precious to be wasted away living it as someone else you are not. Figure out what makes you happy; figure out a dream you never had a chance to have and chase after it. If you fail, it is okay too. You have lived a life free of regrets and that is much better than the regretful one you would have-and a million others have- led. Make a promise to yourself that in five years from today, the one thing you will definitely achieve is contentment.

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