SELF-REALIZATION IN OLD AGE

By Basab Dasgupta (California)

Somethingstrange is happening to me. I do not find much excitement in any recreational activity anymore. I do not know if it is just a temporary phase I am going through because of all the problems in the world or some profound and permanent change. Perhaps it is simply the result of getting old and I am at the cusp of that transition from “Vanaprastha” to “Sanyas”. Perhaps the reason is my departure from Indian culture but failure to get completely assimilated into American society. It is disheartening to feel this way because I thought that I was invincible and would forever retain my youthful vigor and enthusiasm.

It is ironic because, now that I am retired, I have plenty of time on my hands to pursue any pastime, exploration, adventure or just enjoy my time in new recreational activities to seek joy or a feeling of accomplishment in discovering new experiences.

Take watching movies as an example of what used to be one of my pastimes. I have stopped not only going to a movie theater but even renting or buying DVDs. The movies do not make any emotional or long-lasting visual impact on me. They all seem superficial and action-oriented: spectacular computer-generated