Book review: Man Down

MAN DOWN

by Charlie Hoare

Michael Priestley, Student Coordinator for the Trust, reviews Charlie Hoare’s guide for men on mental health.

As a man with lived experience of mental health difficulties, I found Man Down a particularly helpful and interesting read. This latest book from wellbeing consultant Charlie Hoare combines insights from personal experience of navigating mental health challenges and professional services, with evidence-based tools, tips, and techniques to look after your mental health.

Blended together, it helps to challenge the gendered expectations, misconceptions, and stigma around mental health, whilst increasing knowledge and understanding of mental health difficulties, self-care, and support services. It is accessible, simple and practical; readers may wish to ‘dip in and out’ of it or read it from cover to cover – it lends itself to both.

The book’s underlying message is clear: open up, be vulnerable, and share with others. Chapter One explains how the societal expectations that "boys have to be tough, taking life’s adversities on the chin, and not show weakness" can undermine men’s ability to deal with emotions, fuel unhealthy coping strategies, and compromise mental and physical health, self-care, and help-seeking.

Reversing the narrative

Man Down reverses this traditional narrative of male strength and weakness: "Being vulnerable is being human", Charlie advises, "and having the strength to admit you are struggling is a sign of strength in your character...We need to try to accept how we feel, open up about our emotions, and encourage our friends to do the same, to build authentic, supportive, and emotionally healthy relationships with ourselves and others."

Chapters Two and Three aim to increase this awareness and understanding of common mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety and eating disorders, as well as PTSD, psychosis and OCD. Chapter Four provides practical, evidence-based tips to manage and maintain good mental health – including, exercise, sleep, mindfulness, diet, routine, and positive affirmation – whilst Chapter Five shares advice and information on when, how, and where to get professional help.

Ending the vicious circle

The book’s account of the circular relationship between depression, isolation, and distraction particularly resonated with my own experience and helped me reflect on my own coping strategies. Ashamed to open up or determined to resolve problems alone, men can repress, internalise, and avoid difficult emotions until they become even more unmanageable. Like Charlie, "if I’m not busy doing something, I have to face myself, and I don’t always like what I see."

I would have loved to hear more of Charlie’s advice on how to open up. In repressing emotions, men don’t always develop a vocabulary to understand and talk about these feelings. So even when we want to share, it can feel like trying to speak a foreign language! Nonetheless, a great read to understand more about men’s mental health which I would strongly recommend.