Deseret Digest - October 2025

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OCTOBER 2025 VOL. 3 / NO. 10

The state of Scouting in Utah Number of Scouts dropped dramatically in 2020 but program thriving in new ways CONTINUES ON PG. 4

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The state of Scouting in Utah Number of Scouts dropped dramatically in 2020 but program thriving in new ways

By Dennis Romboy

Deseret News

Deep in grizzly country just outside Yellowstone and Grand Teton national parks, more than 160 boys and girls seated on planed logs overlooking the rippling Lake of the Woods sang campfire songs as flames danced in the falling darkness.

A spark of lightning broke through the starless sky, followed by a crack of thunder and a rush of wind. Moments later, the heavens opened. The downpour started to extinguish the fire but didn’t dampen the spirits of those gathered in the Wyoming woods at a storied outpost known as Camp Loll in late July.

The singing continued: On my honor, I’ll do my best, to do my duty to God. On my honor, I’ll do my best, to serve my country as I may. On my honor, I’ll do my best, to do a good turn each day, to keep my body strengthened, to keep my mind awakened, to follow paths of righteousness. On my honor, I’ll do my best.

Like those Scouts in the rain-soaked pines, Boy Scouts of America — rebranded just this year as Scouting America — weathered a major storm that saw enrollment plummet when The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ended its 105year affiliation with the organization after 2019. Overnight, 400,000 Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts — about half of them in Utah — were without packs and troops.

That same year, the organization had another monumental shift, allowing girls age 11-17 to join and changing its name from Boy Scouts to Scouts BSA. In addition to Scouts BSA, Scouting America includes Cub Scouts, Venturing/Sea Scouts and Exploring. Girls could join Cub Scouts starting in 2018.

While boys and girls Scout troops are generally separate, the organization launched a pilot program last year allowing coed troops. Several in Utah are participating.

It isn’t unusual for adult leaders out and about in their Scout uniforms to have someone ask, “Scouting’s still a thing?” One scoutmaster, Merinda Reeder, had a person comment on how authentic her “costume” looked. It was October.

Allen Endicott, Scout executive for the Ogden-based Crossroads of the West Council, gets that question several times a week.

“I think that’s a misunderstanding in our area because of the change with the largest faith-based organization in the community.”

“Scouting,” he said, “is doing just fine in Utah.”

For anyone who thought otherwise, the dissolution did not mark the end of Scouting in Utah, the state that consistently produced the most Eagle Scouts. It has survived, maybe even thrived in new ways, amid transformational change. While some in the Beehive State silently, maybe even openly, cheered what one Scouter called the “great divorce,” others went to work to help Scouting regain its footing.

Rio Giancarlo, Deseret News Talon Crandall leads members of the advanced camper experience program back from a cold plunge at Camp Loll in Teton County, Wyoming, on Monday, July 21, 2025.

So, what is the state of Scouting in Utah?

To answer that question, Deseret News talked to dozens of Scouts, Scout leaders and parents, attended troop meetings and spent a couple of days at Scout camp.

What happened after the church and Scouting parted ways?

The numbers tell a story, but not the whole story.

Prior to 2019, Latter-day Saint boys at age 11 were automatically enrolled in Scouting, which served as the church’s program to help strengthen young men through age 17. Troops in Utah consisted of boys living in the same neighborhood who attended the same church congregation, called a ward. Some boys embraced Scouting, some were lukewarm and others didn’t participate, but all were on the membership rolls at the church’s expense.

Adult men were called by their ward bishops to serve as scoutmasters and assistant scoutmasters. Some had interest and experience in Scouting, some did not.

When the Church of Jesus Christ ended its formal partnership with Scouting, there were 186,287 youth registered across three councils covering Utah, southern Idaho and western Wyoming.

Those councils merged in 2020 to form the Crossroads of the West Council — with enrollment totaling 6,898 boys and girls.

In 2024, the council reported 6,107 youth in its programs, including 2,393 Cub Scouts and 3,200 Scouts BSA. It marked a 3.35% increase over the previous year and the highest total since 2020. Of that total, about 20% are girls, and their numbers have risen each of the past four years, while the number of boys has declined.

In 2019, Utah produced 9,723 Eagle Scouts — 4,000 more than the year before — as Latter-day Saint boys no doubt rushed to tie that final knot before the church and BSA separated. Those numbers, too, have dropped dramatically — from the thousands each year to the hundreds.

Last year, 334 boys and 34 girls earned Eagle Scout awards.

And like membership overall, the number of boys reaching the highest rank is dropping, while it’s on the rise for girls.

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DESERET NEWS | OCTOBER 2025

Rio Giancarlo, Deseret News Members of Troop 007 react as they perform during a campsite inspection at Camp Loll in Teton County, Wyoming, on Tuesday, July 22, 2025.

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DESERET NEWS | OCTOBER 2025

Rio Giancarlo, Deseret News Scouts stand in formation as camp staff give announcements during the morning flag ceremony at Camp Loll in Teton County, Wyoming, on Tuesday, July 22, 2025.

Rio Giancarlo, Deseret News Thatcher Eames poses for a portrait at Camp Loll in Teton County, Wyoming, on Tuesday, July 22, 2025.

Nationally in 2019, Scouting America reported nearly 2.1 million participants, including nearly 1.2 million Cub Scouts and 798,516 Scouts BSA. Today, that number is around 1 million in all of its programs.

is easy for us? We’re exhausted. And why do we do it? Because we’re called to do it,” he said, eating a hamburger his Scouts cooked using halal beef as required by Islamic dietary laws.

“Nobody called me on the phone and said will you do this. . . . This calling came from God. Unmistakable.”

Aaron Torres was disappointed when the church and Scouting parted ways. The program in his Sugar House ward was active and vibrant, producing 10 Eagle Scouts in the final month before the separation. His son and oldest daughter have achieved the rank and his younger daughter is on her way.

“The reason I was not too happy about it is because I think the kids needed it. About half the kids were there because they were forced to be there, even though I think they all got something out of it. There was another half that wanted to be there.

But as a whole, all of them benefitted from it,” said Torres, who served a couple of stints as a scoutmaster.

Still, he said the program is better in some ways because it’s less restrictive and more open to troops operating how they see best. And it’s all volunteer, he said, not “voluntold,” including the kids.

In a May 2018 statement announcing the end to its partnership with Scouting, the church said the program benefited hundreds of thousands of Latter-day Saint boys and young men. The statement said the church continues to support the goals and values reflected in the Scout Oath and Scout Law and “expresses its profound desire for Scouting’s continuing and growing success in the years ahead.”

Endicott said the church does a lot of good for the community and for Scouting.

“I want the LDS church to be successful. I want Scouting to be successful,” he said. “I have grandkids who benefit from all these things. There’s no animosity, not in our council, not in our organization. We appreciate the good that goes on.”

Many Latter-day Saint youth groups now go to former Scout

What the numbers don’t say

Numbers aren’t everything. They don’t account for what the emblem stitched on the Life Scout patch represents: heart. The red heart on the badge — one rank below Eagle — symbolizes that the ideals of Scouting have become part of a Scout’s life and character. Scouting still has heart.

To a person, everyone interviewed for this story noted the biggest difference between the program now and five years ago is that boys — and girls — want to be there, as do their leaders.

They’re fully invested.

Individual troops in Utah are larger and in some cases, stronger now. They have become more religiously, ethnically, culturally, geographically and gender diverse. “It’s been really inspiring as a microcosm of our society,” said Bonnie Marsh, scoutmaster for a Draper-based Troop 3444.

Instead of one church sponsoring thousands of troops, other organizations stepped in such as service clubs, various faith denominations, businesses, foundations, nonprofits and parents.

Troops have fewer constraints. Scouts can travel farther for summer camp. The emphasis isn’t only on rank advancement but on individuals getting what they want from the program.

The sponsors often provide a place to meet but no money, so fundraising is a constant, whether it’s selling popcorn and beef jerky or holding a spaghetti dinner.

“Scouts has changed a lot and not at all at the same time,” said 21-year-old college student Thatcher Eames, an Eagle Scout who has spent two-thirds of his life in the program, including seven years working on the Camp Loll staff — paid and volunteer.

“Scouts have evolved. We’ve changed kind of our rules and our

culture as the rules and culture of our society have changed.”

Eames, who grew up in Ogden, called the inclusion of girls a “drastic” change but “in the end it felt natural. It felt like what should have happened all along. Now, I don’t even think twice about all of the changes that we’ve gone through. Every moment it feels like the right place where we’re supposed to be.”

Kids today join Scouts for all sorts of reasons: to make new friends, learn life skills, serve the community, achieve goals, enjoy nature and the outdoors and to have experiences they can’t get in other settings. They’re trading video game controllers for canoe paddles.

“I like video games, too,” said 16-year-old Stephen Kennedy, the senior patrol leader in Troop 1444 in Draper. “But in Scouting you get to actually do stuff instead of just pretending to do stuff.”

A difficult end

Longtime Scout leader Michael Nebeker was more than disappointed when the church withdrew from Scouting and still harbors some hard feelings, though he said “at some point you’ve got to forgive people.”

Nebeker started a troop for Karen and Karenni refugees from Myanmar in 2008 and has been involved ever since. Even though it wasn’t affiliated with the Church of Jesus Christ, the troop dissolved.

“I come at this with great passion for providing activities,” he said, adding Scouting also is devoted to respect for nature and caring for the planet. “And I love the diversity of these kids and the diversity of religions.”

Nebeker now leads Muslim troops chartered by the Khadeeja Islamic Center in West Valley City. The boys and girls come from countries in Africa, the Middle East and other regions. Some of their Scout leaders are, like him, Latter-day Saints.

“A lot of people said, ‘Oh, thank goodness we’re done with Scouts and all that work.’ What are we here for? You think this

DESERET NEWS | OCTOBER 2025 camps that were converted to youth camps after the number of Scouts diminished. The activities are largely the same as at Scout camps. In all, about 31,000 young people from various organizations, including Scouts, participated in a camp this summer, Endicott said.

Duty to God

The essence of Scouting has not changed. Its mission to help young people make ethical and moral decisions over their lifetimes is still at the core.

On my honor I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law; to help other people at all times; to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.

Duty to God remains a cornerstone. While the organization is nonsectarian, it encourages Scouts to explore their faith and fulfill their religious obligations in their chosen tradition.

David Craner, a Scout leader in Lehi, said that hasn’t changed in the 27 years he has been part of Scouting. The goal, he said, is not becoming an Eagle but to focus on a duty to others and to God, regardless of the religion a Scout belongs to. He said there’s always an opportunity to encourage them to look at the sky, to hear God or the Holy Ghost or the Great Spirit.

The Bountiful Community Church founded Troop 220 in Bountiful in 1954. It’s currently made up of 45 boys of various faiths. They say grace over meals on campouts and hold a devotional or “Scouts’ Own” on Sunday mornings as they break camp. It’s a short, informal gathering for reflection and spiritual development.

“It’s not a preaching opportunity. It’s a sharing opportunity,” Kristin Murphy, Deseret News Zach Kambalov inspects a sling on Tennyson Schild during Boy Scouts Troop 220’s first-aid lesson in Bountiful on Aug. 11, 2025.

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said Brett Sutherland, one of the troop’s adult leaders.

Anthony Gomez, 18, who earned his Eagle award in January, said faith has played a role in his time in the troop.

“It’s helped me become closer to God,” he said. “It’s really just helped have a greater appreciation for the world.”

He recalled a camp where he spoke at the Scouts’ Own after his troop had restored a campsite for terminally ill people. “It really helped put into perspective how fortunate I and the rest of the troop are,” Gomez said.

Endicott said prayers are common at all types of Scout gatherings and a routine part of his council’s executive board meetings.

“I think it’s really a great blessing to be able to be involved with an organization that no matter what faith background you have, we have a commonality that we reverence a supreme being,” he said. “I’m grateful for that opportunity.”

Here a troop, there a troop

On any given week night in Utah there’s a Scout meeting somewhere. On any given weekend there’s a campout, winter, spring, summer or fall.

The girls in a Springville-based Troop 712 — all in full uniform, save one pink skirt — gathered on a recent Monday evening in a hip meeting room at Wavtronix, a radar traffic detection company in Springville that sponsors the unit. A security guard ambled through the high-tech machinery as the girls prayed, saluted the flag and recited the Pledge of Allegiance, Scout Oath and Scout Law — standard procedure for a troop meeting. Then they got down to business.

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DESERET NEWS | OCTOBER 2025

Crowded around a table, the eight girls debated what merit badges to pursue over the next few months. Pottery? Reptile and Amphibian? (Each could take the frogs for a weekend.)

Cooking? Welding? Horsemanship?

Reeder, their scoutmaster, mostly lets the girls manage themselves, giving guidance here and there.

“We’re open to all adventures. I try really hard not to say no when they want to do something. Instead, we try and figure out how to get from where we are to where we need to be, whether it’s raising money, whether it’s learning skills, whatever it is to get where their dreams and goals lie,” she told me.

Next year, the troop is going to Sea Base in the Florida Keys for summer camp.

In a large room at the Bountiful Elks Lodge, Troop 220 spent an evening going over first aid in preparation for an event called Bike the Bear, a 50-mile bike ride around Bear Lake on the Utah-Idaho border. The 30 boys broke into patrols — smaller groups that work as a team — to take instruction, not from the adults in the room, but from the more senior boys.

On another recent evening 40 Scouts — 30 boys in Troop 1444 and 10 girls in Troop 3444 — streamed into the parking lot of the Corner Canyon Church in Draper that teaches that the Bible is the ultimate authority and guide, not any particular denomination or creed. They checked their camping gear and loaded it into a trailer for their weeklong adventure in Idaho.

The troop isn’t coed but the boys and girls do activities together, including camping.

Anders Marr, 13, whose military family recently moved to Utah from Germany, admitted to a “bit of a love-hate relationship” with camping. It’s fun being with friends, he said, but it can be cold sleeping in a tent. He tries to get to sleep as fast as he can.

After Kaelyn Armijo’s family moved to Utah from Florida, the 15-year-old and her sister joined Scouts to make friends, and she said, “It’s definitely worked out.” She’s also learning to enjoy camping.

“I thought, ‘Oh bugs, gross, dirt, camp showers,’ but it’s really not that bad. You have so much fun that you don’t even worry about getting dirty or about bugs,” she said. And she doesn’t believe girls and boys are much different in that regard, “but I think girls are more taught to care about that kind of thing.”

Craner said he doesn’t see much difference between boys and girls when it comes to camping, other than girls sing better around the campfire.

Troop 1111 in Riverdale decided to combine boys and girls last year under Scouting America’s pilot program. They spent a week together at Camp Loll. Jenna Hall is the senior patrol leader, elected by her peers.

“I like having one troop. We always did everything together anyway,” the 15-year-old said. She conceded boys can be annoying but “annoying in a good way.”

For his part, Miles Callantine, 14, a patrol leader in the troop, said girls can “sometimes” be annoying. But he described coed as “pretty cool. It brings everyone together as one big troop.” He regularly receives an email from Scouting America to provide feedback on how it’s going.

The girls take part

When she was 7, Kestle Eames watched her older brother, Thatcher, head off to Scout camp with their dad.

“I would get so jealous,” she said. And when they returned, “It was magical. They had all these cool stories.”

When Scouting opened up for girls, she immediately joined.

Now 17, she’s close to becoming an Eagle Scout.

For her, Scouting is all about respecting different cultures and people. She has made friends and connections with those she wouldn’t necessarily reach out to at school. “Here, we’re all Scouts,” she said. They’re all working to become better versions of themselves, she said, and live the Scout Oath and Scout Law. Eames said she also has learned respect for nature and wildlife. “It doesn’t matter if you’re in the woods or on the beach,

you pick up the litter, even if it’s not yours.”

Liz Reeder remembers being told she could never become an Eagle Scout because she’s a girl. She watched the Scouts in her ward not really take advantage of what the organization has to offer.

“It was really frustrating to me seeing boys show up not in uniform and it felt like all they did was basketball. They weren’t getting the same experiences that I feel like Scouts currently in the units are getting,” she said.

When girls were allowed to join, she was one of the first and was a founding member of her troop. “I was so excited,” she said. She finally achieved that Eagle award at 18 and, now at 19, serves as assistant scoutmaster alongside her mother.

Girls have flourished in Scouting. Troop members in Spanish Fork sport neon green T-shirts that read, “I Scout Like a Girl! Try to Keep Up.” One of their male leaders, Jed Anderson, can’t wear that shirt. His reads, “I Scout with the Girls. I try to keep up.”

“Scouts has changed a lot and not at all at the same time. Scouts have evolved. We’ve changed kind of our rules and our culture as the rules and culture of our society have changed.”

“We’ve got nerds. We’ve got prissy misses. We’ve got athletes.

We’ve got a wrestler. They run the whole spectrum,” Anderson said, adding they mesh well together.

And while some troops have gone coed, this one doesn’t want to mix girls and boys, according to one of its other leaders.

“The girls would take over. That’s just the nature of girls. I don’t want the girls to overrun the boys,” said Sheryl Winterton, whose granddaughters urged her to start a troop when she moved to Utah in 2020. “I want the boys to still have their leadership time and their leadership opportunity.”

Native American lore, slapstick skits and silly songs.

In the week the Deseret News was at Loll with a photographer in late July, there were 13 troops from five states, including six from Utah, 166 Scouts, 70 adult leaders and 55 staff members, some as young as 14. About 70% of the troops over the summer are from Utah.

“Every time I put on my uniform and go out into the community I meet people who say, ‘I was a Scout, or my son or my brother was an Eagle Scout.’ And now I also meet people who say, ‘My daughter or my granddaughter is a Scout,’” said Conner, a high school biology teacher.

Conner also notes that Scouting can’t die in Utah because it’s not just a Utah thing. Scouting America is one of 176 national scouting organizations that belong to the World Organization of the Scouting Movement that reaches all parts of the globe.

The 60 million Scouts and volunteer leaders represent all religions, all nationalities, languages and cultures. He said it unites Scout worldwide “through our shared values and vision for a life lived close to nature and in service of God and our fellow man.”

A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent.

Those ideals espoused in Scouting seem to have become lost in our divisive society. Some might even find them outdated or old-fashioned.

“Yeah, but they like that,” Conner said of those attracted to the program. “It’s one of the draws of it . . . Maybe that is old-fashioned, but I think that’s a good thing about it. Not everything that’s new is good.”

Gomez, of Bountiful Troop 220, agrees, saying, “yes it’s old, but that’s the charm of it.”

“It’s really going back to what made, to what put together this state and the nation. It’s such a great link to our past that I don’t think it should ever go away or it ever should be discounted as old or not cool anymore,” he said.

Young men and women, Conner said, are hungry for the things Scouting offers: friendship, adventure and a sense of purpose, value and connection. “The old values are still alive and the organization is being infused with a great new energy and desire.”

Bukari Abdi, of Troop 1293 in West Valley City, heard an announcement about Scouts over the loud speaker at the Khadeeja mosque. He pestered his mom until she signed him up. The Scout Law has come to mean something to him.

“I guess it’s shaped me into being a better person,” the 13-yearold said thoughtfully. And as an added bonus he says he’s “cleaner . . . not letting crust sit on my fingers. I like to wash my hands a lot more now.”

The value of camping

Camping remains a hallmark of Scouting. Some troops do a weekend campout — which might include Sunday now — once a month. Nearly every troop goes on a weeklong summer camp. As one Provo scoutmaster, Brad Woods said, “There’s no Scouting without the outing.”

Lafe Conner practically grew up at Scout camp. His father, Delose, worked as a camp staff member for 50 years, including 30 years as director of Camp Loll. His mother, Janice, worked as the business manager. Delose would probably still be there had cancer not claimed him in 2022. The mantle at Loll now rests on his son.

Conner met his wife, Diane, at, of course, Scout camp: Cherry Valley on Catalina Island off the coast of California. They’ve spent the past 31 summers running camps.

He said he’d be “surprised and confused” if someone were to tell him Scouting is dead in Utah.

It’s hard to argue from his vantage point in the Wyoming wilderness. He works closely with hundreds of adults and thousands of youth across the state who are dedicated to the organization. Opened in 1958, Camp Loll remains a very traditional Scout camp with swimming, canoeing, knot-tying, shooting,

Rio Giancarlo, Deseret News Lafe Conner does the scout salute during the morning flag ceremony at Camp Loll in Teton County, Wyoming, on Tuesday, July 22, 2025.

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DESERET MAGAZINE

Lost and found What no one told me about getting older

By Ann Gorewitz

Deseret Magazine

It was a spectacular afternoon on Sunday, June 27, 1976. It had rained every Sunday for three weeks straight, but on this day, the sun shone.

“For better or worse. Till death do you part,” said our rabbi, as Steve and I shared the moment — excited and nervous — under a canopy on my uncle’s sprawling lawn, surrounded by our family and friends.

Almost 50 years later, Steve lay in the palliative care unit in a New York hospital while I lay in our bed, less than three miles away. On that still April night, my cellphone jarred me out of much-needed sleep. “Your husband passed away a few minutes ago,” the nurse told me. “It was peaceful. I saw the photo by his bedside. What a beautiful family.”

I had left the snapshot by Steve’s bedside months ago, to remind the staff that he was a person who was healthy once, and very much loved.

But I wasn’t at his side when he died. Staff had chased me out that evening, upholding Covid-era restrictions and curfews.

The last thing I said to him as I held his hand, black and blue from the IV needles, was, “You’re my world. I love you. You’ve made my life so happy. See you tomorrow, sweetheart.”

He crept out of a coma-like sleep and smiled.

After I hung up the phone, I dressed, washed my face and wailed, not caring if my neighbors heard me. Then I called a car service. For the first time in my life, I felt intense despair, deep in the pit of my stomach. All hope and prayers for Steve to get better vanished.

I didn’t know who to turn to for support. He was my anchor, my go-to person whenever I had a question, an idea, or the littlest, most banal something happened. There was never a day when my husband and I didn’t say to each other, “Good morning.” “Have a good night’s sleep.” “I love you.”

Steve and Ann, Ann and Steve. Our names, intertwined, always sounded so perfect together. How could I go forward without him?

From neighbors to soulmates

We grew up a block apart in a New York City blue-collar neighborhood, but we didn’t know each other until we were both teachers at P.S. 20 in Fort Greene in Brooklyn. Thanks to some casual pleasantries, Steve and I discovered we were raised in the same neighborhood and went to the same schools, but never knew one another. I was a grade ahead, which made all the difference as a teen.

Was it love at first sight? Far from it.

It was only after, in the early hours of the morning and coming out of deep sleep, a little voice, like a dream, acknowledged Steve’s best qualities that I truly realized them. “He’s good-looking, smart, compassionate and levelheaded with the best common sense on the planet.”

It made me look at him differently. Those blue eyes. How could I not have noticed them before?

Illustration by Miriam Martincic for the Deseret News

A week later, after dinner at an outdoor cafe followed by a Fellini movie that I didn’t understand, someone held someone’s hand. And that was it. Neither of us ever wanted to let go. And we didn’t. Until.

We were married for 45 years. Not able to have children, we devoted ourselves to our careers, an apartment in Manhattan, a cottage upstate where Steve’s garden flourished, and a beloved dog, Cassie.

We grew our lives together, side by side. Steve developed a successful career as an advertising executive, and I began working in corporate human resources. Even though our salaries were good, having grown up in households where a lack of money was a constant challenge, we saved. We had no pensions.

So, we saved even more.

We fantasized about retirement. Then, we thought, we could finally relax. We could be at the cottage more. We could travel more. We’d have time to explore new hobbies. Steve’s dream was to visit Buenos Aires, where his father was born. Living in Europe for a few months was mine. A retirement specialist advised us in our 50s, “Just keep doing what you’re doing. You’re in great shape.”

Then, before we got to spend the money on all the things we’d been dreaming up for years, Steve died. We’d saved and saved, and it bothers me that he didn’t live long enough to enjoy what we’d worked so hard for, and that we’d never do those things

we spent so many days talking about together.

Even though Steve was ill for several years, I never allowed myself to think for one moment that he could die. It’s the part of life and adulthood that I wasn’t ready for. It’s the part I put out of my mind and our life together. “He will get well,” I told myself many times. But too often it doesn’t work out that way. If you’re a woman aged 65 or older, there’s roughly a 2 in 5 chance you’re already widowed, and those odds rise sharply with age. If you’re a man who’s 65, it’s closer to 1 in 8, but those odds increase by over 40 percent by the time you’re 85 or older.

When you get married, you only think about everything that you’ll do together. You celebrate the traditional idea of “two becoming one.” But nothing prepared me for what happens when two become one at the end, and you’re the one that’s left.

Lessons grief can’t teach

My mother lost two husbands. My motherin-law lost one. Even though I saw each of them go through the deaths of their husbands, it didn’t give me any real sense of how hard it actually is. They never spoke about their experiences. It seems like few people do, even though in the United States, between 900,000 and 1.5 million people lose a spouse each year. This includes both men and women. But there was no passed-down wisdom or past conversations for me to call upon when my turn came. Losing your spouse — a life experience that

DESERET NEWS | OCTOBER 2025 many who have the good fortune to get old have the misfortune to experience — was uncharted territory. And I didn’t have a map to navigate this new reality.

There are the practical things, like accounts and bills and keeping a home up and running. Steve was in charge of our finances. He was good at it — watched financial news, followed the markets and made conservative decisions. Now I’m in charge.

He showed me the files before each of his many hospitalizations.

But that wasn’t enough. It’s taken me years to figure out how to manage the accounts myself. At our cottage, neighboring houses are scattered, blackouts are frequent, and I don’t have many friends. There’s no super to fix things, and Steve enjoyed tinkering with things enough to repair them. I’m learning and reaching out to people.

Then there are the intangible things — the stuff that you can’t call a handyman about or research online. When you lose your person, you lose an aspect of your identity — a loss that is also felt during the transition into retirement. You were once a corporate manager with a team, now you’re a lone retiree. You were once a wife, now you’re a widow. It’s a one-two punch. With the loss of personal identity also comes the loss of a schedule, personal connections, to-dos, conversations and goals. What do you do with your day? Who are you? Who do you ask when you can’t answer that yourself?

These practical and intangible realities swirl together like milk into coffee; there’s no parsing them out. One day, I’m learning about the electrical box, and the next, I’m looking at our burial plots, remembering what Steve asked of me. “If I die first, I want you to be with someone. I don’t want you to be alone. But promise me you’ll be buried next to me.” It took me two years to finally choose a double headstone. On the left is Steve’s inscription, and on the right is mine, minus my death date. And life goes on.

It’s taken me four years to accept my new identity — a widow, a retiree, senior, single. Right after my birthday this year, I realized that at 76, I have more years behind me than in front of me. It’s time to enjoy the time I have left. Suddenly, I sleep better and cry less as I plan my future.

I’m figuring out what I want from life. I still want to travel, even if I don’t get to live in Europe with Steve for a few months.

So I’m signing up for trips. I’ll visit my brother and make plans so I’m not alone for the holidays.

This chapter of my life is a second identity and a new stage for me. “Getting back out there” looks different when you’re older. With the aging process, you can’t do some things that you used to. I used to race marathons and triathlons, but I can’t anymore. It’s too much strain on my body. I’m finding out who I am without Steve and who I am in the body that I have now.

In my own ways, I’ve learned that there are accommodations that you make to find new ways to enjoy yourself. That includes giving back, instead of taking things, from life.

I’m making new connections — exploring volunteer opportunities, taking exercise classes and working with a therapist.

I’ve even joined online dating. So far, I’ve texted with several men, flirted, graduated to FaceTime conversations, and met two of them in person. One tried to passionately kiss me when we met in a museum. The second man looked like a model and texted me after a day, saying how much he loved me, calling me his soulmate. The next morning, I saw, the site administrator had pulled his profile for inappropriate behavior with several women. It’s like the Wild West out there, but it’s mostly good fun and makes me feel like I’m a high schooler instead of a senior woman.

But even when things are feeling “normal,” I can hear a song or see a couple holding hands and find myself in a puddle of tears. When invited to a 50th wedding anniversary, I couldn’t

11

bear the thought that Steve and I would never celebrate another anniversary. Sometimes I want to curl up and die.

“Mourning is work and it has a goal,” says Dr. Eric R. Marcus, professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons. “The goal is to move an internal representation of the loved one from reality to blessed memory.

Then, to use that memory to accompany the person through the rest of their life’s journey, encouraging them and supporting their further growth and development. It is difficult work because at first, the loss experience overwhelms the preservation experience. Later, it is difficult because of guilt about proceeding with life.”

But I know I have to move on, even when I feel lost. Even if there’s no replacement, only the memories. And the push and pull to be resilient.

After my mother was widowed and until she passed away at 87, she filled her life up. She learned how to read and write in Hebrew, joined a seniors group, tutored children. She stayed active. I am my mother’s daughter.

And although I know Steve will always be with me, he made sure I wouldn’t be alone.

While on life support, using his iPad, he put a deposit on a newly born puppy. He watched videos of the litter and selected the one for us. The morning he passed away, I received a call.

“It’s time to meet your puppy.”

I met our puppy, Romeo, the following week on my birthday, and brought him home on Steve’s and my wedding anniversary.

He can be a handful sometimes, but I can’t help but adore him.

Every morning, he’s cuddled next to me and I whisper, “I love you.” this story appears in the september 2025 issue of deseret magazine. learn more about how to subscribe.

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DESERET DIGEST 2025

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DESERET NEWS | OCTOBER 2025

GENERAL CONFERENCE

By the numbers: Temple dedications from 1836 to 2025 The Church now has 208 operating houses of the Lord. See a graph showing the dedications of Latter-day Saint temples over the years

By Scott Taylor

Church News

Dedications of temples of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have gone from infrequent such events for houses of the Lord built near the main body of Saints through the 1800s to now 208 and counting dedicated houses of the Lord worldwide.

It wasn’t until the mid-1950s the Church first had temple dedications in successive years — and then two in a single year, in 1958.

Under the direction of Church Presidents Spencer W. Kimball and Ezra Taft Benson during the 1980s, the Church dedicated 26 temples — 17 alone from 1983 through 1985.

In meeting President Gordon B. Hinckley’s challenge to have 100 total dedicated temples by the end of the 20th century, the Church dedicated 15 houses of the Lord in 1999 and 34 in 2000 to end the century with 102 dedicated temples.

And during the 7½ years of current Church President Russell M. Nelson’s administration, the Church has dedicated 49 temples, with a half-dozen more dedications scheduled through late 2025 and early 2026.

That total is despite a 20-month period in 2020 and 2021 where no dedications were held because of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Here’s a graph showing the dedications of Latter-day Saint temples over the years, from 1836 to 2025.

DESERET NEWS | OCTOBER 2025

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DESERET NEWS | OCTOBER 2025

GENERAL CONFERENCE

President Nelson turns 101 years old ‘Thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for expressing gratitude. Thank you for your prayers.

You inspire me to strive to become a better disciple of Jesus Christ’

By Mary Richards

Church News

President Russell M. Nelson, Prophet and President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, turned 101 years old on Tuesday, Sept. 9.

He enjoyed a pre-birthday celebration with a small gathering of family members in the Church Administration Building in Salt Lake City on Sunday, Sept. 7.

The celebration included reading birthday cards and sharing some cake with his children.

In a post on social media on Tuesday morning, President Nelson said: “Brothers and sisters, I feel truly humbled to be celebrating my 101st birthday with my children so close — whether in person or forever in my heart.

“Even though those pictured are all adults with children, grandchildren, and even a great grandchild of their own, I still feel the tenderness I felt for them when they were small enough to rock in my arms.

“From then to now, I’ve done my best to teach them the gospel of Jesus Christ. The glad tidings I have taught them are the same lessons I have often shared with you.

“God is our Father. We are His children. Jesus Christ is the Son of God. This is His Church, which is reflected in the name He gave it. It is only through Jesus Christ’s Atonement that we can repent of our sins and return to God’s presence.

“We will find joy in life as we ‘think celestial’ and follow the covenant path that begins with baptism and leads us to The House of The Lord. God speaks to us when we make the effort to hear Him. The world needs peacemakers, so please be kind.

“Thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for expressing gratitude. Thank you for your prayers. You inspire me to strive to become a better disciple of Jesus Christ.”

President Nelson’s life and ministry

Born Sept. 9, 1924, just five years before the stock market crash of 1929, Russell Marion Nelson is the son of Marion C. and Edna Anderson Nelson and grew up in Salt Lake City.

President Nelson was set apart as the 17th President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on Jan. 14, 2018, after serving 34 years in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

He became the second prophet — the first being Joseph Fielding Smith — to be called as President of the Church while over the age of 90.

He was a world-renowned heart surgeon and medical researcher before entering full-time Church service in 1984.

Graduating first in his class from medical school at age 22, he received doctoral degrees from the University of Utah and University of Minnesota. A cardiothoracic surgeon, he helped pioneer the development of the artificial heart-lung machine, a means of supporting a patient’s circulation during open-heart surgery.

President Nelson married Dantzel White in the Salt Lake Temple on Aug. 31, 1945. They are the parents of nine daughters and one son. She died Feb. 12, 2005, just shy of the Nelsons’ 60th wedding anniversary.

President Nelson married Wendy L. Watson on April 6, 2006.

Prior to his call to the apostleship, he served as a regional representative, the Church’s Sunday School general president, stake president, high councilor and bishopric counselor.

President Nelson’s testimony

In a Time magazine op-ed published Friday, Sept. 5, President Nelson wrote that “living to 101 is a privilege I never expected.”

And, he offered “enduring truths” learned over his lifetime.

The first is that “each of us has inherent worth and dignity.”

And second, “Love your neighbor and treat them with compassion and respect,” he wrote in the article titled “We All Deserve Dignity and Respect.”

At his 100th birthday celebration last year, he said, “With joy in my heart and a spirit of deep thanksgiving, I express my love for you, dear brothers and sisters.”

He admitted that he has passed through experiences when he thought his life might end but did not. He recalled the blessing of visiting with individuals in more than 130 countries around the world and said to all those he has met, “You have made my life more wonderful.”

On that day, President Nelson again shared his testimony of Heavenly Father’s plan and the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

“How grateful I am for His unfailing love and His generous guidance to me as He leads His Church,” he said.

He told those watching that the length of their lives is not as important as the kind of lives they live.

“My prayer is that you will let God prevail in your life. Make covenants with Him. Stay on the covenant path. Prepare to return to live with Him again,” he invited.

On New Year’s Day, he reflected on the 25th anniversary of the publication of “The Living Christ: The Testimony of the Apostles.”

“Over the last quarter century this testimony has been read, studied and even memorized by countless disciples of Jesus Christ. My study of this testimony increases my desire, every day, to be more like Him,” he wrote. “As I celebrate my 101st New Year’s Day, I continue to love the opportunity it provides for fresh starts, new perspectives, and new and renewed resolutions.”

During a 2019 celebration marking President Nelson’s 95th birthday, he shared his testimony of Jesus Christ and His restored Church.

“If I have learned anything certain in [my life], it’s that Jesus the Christ is the Son of God,” he said. “His Church has been restored in these latter-days to prepare the world for His Second

Jeffrey D. Allred, for the Deseret News President Russell M. Nelson of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints and his wife, Sister Wendy Nelson, pause for a photo by a cake in celebrating his 101st birthday at the Church Administration Building in Salt Lake City on Sunday, Sept. 7, 2025.

Coming. He is the light and life of the world. Only through Him can we reach our divine destiny and eventual exaltation.”

President Nelson said that everyday he thanks his Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ for the gift of life and the privilege of serving His children.

“Jesus the Christ is literally my Savior, my Redeemer, my exemplar and friend,” he said.

Reflections from Latter-day Saints and Church leaders

President Nelson’s 101st birthday has prompted Latter-day Saints and friends around the world to note the lessons they have learned from him and how they have grown closer to the Savior Jesus Christ.

His counselors in the First Presidency, Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and general officers of the Church also all shared their tributes and thoughts (see Pg. 18).

DESERET NEWS | OCTOBER 2025

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DESERET NEWS | OCTOBER 2025

GENERAL CONFERENCE

‘How grateful I am for the things he has taught me’: Church leaders on st President Nelson’s 101 birthday Members of the First Presidency, Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and general officers write tributes

By Mary Richards

Church News

ALL IMAGES IN THIS ARTICLE ARE TAKEN BY THE DESERET NEWS TEAM AND REMAIN THE PROPERTY OF DESERET NEWS. UNAUTHORIZED USE, REPRODUCTION, OR DISTRIBUTION OF THESE IMAGES IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT THIS ARTICLE HAS BEEN CONDENSED FOR BREVITY; THE COMPREHENSIVE VERSION IS AVAILABLE FOR VIEWING ONLINE.

President Russell M. Nelson, Prophet and President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, turned 101 on Tuesday, Sept. 9.

President Nelson is the oldest President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as well as the longest-living Apostle in this dispensation.

Members of the First Presidency, Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and general officers of the Church are noting this milestone by sharing personal experiences with, lessons learned from and thoughts about President Nelson’s life, teachings and example.

Find these tributes below.

President Dallin H. Oaks

President Dallin H. Oaks, first counselor in the First Presidency, expressed that it has been his privilege to sit with President Nelson for over 41 years. “In this time, I've learned much about following Jesus Christ, receiving revelation, and expressing genuine love. As my dear friend approaches his 101st birthday, I continue to learn from his encouragement to follow God’s plan. I am deeply grateful for all he has taught me.”

President Henry B. Eyring

President Henry B. Eyring, second counselor in the First Presidency, said it is “one of the great opportunities of my life” to serve alongside the Prophet. “Time and again, I have witnessed how he humbly seeks and faithfully receives direction from the Lord. He is, for me, an example of seeking that direction with the determination to follow it. “I am inspired by and grateful for the Christlike love and care he has for all of God’s children. I know that he is called of God to lead the Lord’s true Church.”

President Jeffrey R. Holland

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints President Russell M. Nelson records a video message on the healing power of gratitude, which was shared on social media on Nov. 20, 2020.

President Jeffrey R. Holland, acting president of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, traveled with President Nelson on his first global ministry in 2018.

President Nelson later traveled internationally with other Quorum members and delegated temple dedications to them. President Holland noted that President Nelson's 31 years in the Quorum and over seven as its president made him uniquely close to the apostles, fostering a warm and productive unity between the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.

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Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles shared that he has observed the Prophet's dedication to ministering to individuals, following the Savior’s example. As a stake president in Germany, he hosted then-Elder Nelson and remembered his kind interactions. He also recalled spending time in President Nelson’s home, noting the atmosphere reflected a man of God living his faith.

Elder Uchtdorf expressed gratitude for the warmth and kindness consistently shown to him by the Prophet.

Elder David A. Bednar

Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke about President Nelson’s example. “President Russell M. Nelson is a true disciple and leader who ‘[peaceably walks] with the children of men’ (Moroni 7:4). His counsel and demeanor consistently demonstrate this Christlike attribute. In every aspect, he is a reflection of our Savior, whom he serves in all that he does. “His clarity and inspired simplicity in teaching the doctrine of Jesus Christ bless my life and strengthen my testimony.”

Elder Quentin L. Cook

Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said: “President Russell M. Nelson’s direction and guidance has always been so profound because he is always doing what the Lord is giving him the guidance and direction to do. “Whether it is announcing new temples, building relationships with others or moving missionary work forward, when he gets guidance from the Lord, he will act as quickly as he can to bring it to the Saints and bless their lives. I am grateful for his example to me.”

Elder D. Todd Christofferson

Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles wrote that through the Prophet’s words and actions, he teaches of charity, the pure love of Christ. When Elder Christofferson accompanied President Nelson to Southeast Asia in 2019, he saw how President Nelson’s presence reminded everyone that they matter to Heavenly Father and are precious in the Lord’s sight. “At nearly 101 years old, President Nelson’s love for God’s children around the world motivates everything he says and does. I am grateful to have witnessed and learned from his example of caring for the Lord’s precious flock.

Elder Neil L. Andersen

Elder Neil L. Andersen of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles shared that President Nelson has tutored him for over three decades, recalling experiences in Hungary, Brazil, and Canada. “I have been uplifted by his testimony of Jesus Christ, knelt with him in prayer, and received his blessings and counsel. I witnessed his ordination as President of the Church on Jan. 14, 2018, affirming that he is the Lord’s Prophet on earth. I love him and celebrate his 101st birthday. Happy birthday, President Nelson.”

Elder Ronald A. Rasband

Elder Ronald A. Rasband of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles stated that when the Prophet speaks, he does so by the Lord's inspiration. He explained that to sustain means to “hold up” another, providing attention and acting on their words. As President Nelson nears 101, he has been preserved by the Lord, and supporting him is sacred work. We should actively defend him, follow his counsel, and pray for him, focusing more on lifting and less on murmuring.

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Elder Gary E. Stevenson

Elder Gary E. Stevenson noted that President Nelson’s faith, humility, and love inspire millions. Reflecting on a 2018 trip to South America with President Nelson, he recalled an event in Bolivia where President Nelson invited children to sing "Soy un Hijo de Dios" and then began speaking. Midway, he switched to Spanish, transcending language barriers with the Spirit. Tears flowed and reverence filled the room, showcasing the love between God’s children and the Prophet.

Elder Dale G. Renlund

Elder Dale G. Renlund of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said when he was first called as an Apostle, President Nelson was president of the quorum. “You can imagine how intimidating it was for me to sit in counsel with President Nelson and these other remarkable and faithful servants of our Savior. “But President Nelson invited, welcomed and encouraged me. He went out of his way to teach me and support me. He helped me to have confidence in my apostolic call and in learning to rely on the Savior as I serve. I learned from his example and continue to do so today. For him, I will always be grateful.”

Elder Gerrit W. Gong

Elder Gerrit W. Gong of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles described a ministry assignment with President Nelson in 2019. “I was deeply touched at how the Prophet of God can minister to 10,000 people — and to a single family that’s grieving the loss of a loved one at the same time. “President Nelson makes each person he interacts with feel special — like the moment they share together is the most important. God’s Prophet brings God’s love wherever he goes.”

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Elder Ulisses Soares

Elder Ulisses Soares of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles wrote that one of President Nelson’s most remarkable attributes is his ability to lead people with compassion. “He focuses on the good in people rather than their shortcomings.

“He follows the Savior’s pattern as described in 3 Nephi 9:14, ‘Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come, him will I receive; and blessed are those who come unto me.’”

Elder Patrick Kearon

Elder Patrick Kearon of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said the Prophet both teaches and exemplifies the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ. “With any topic, he focuses on the joy found in gospel teachings. A good example is what he has taught us about the joy found in repentance. He has taught this beautiful truth in a way that changes perceptions and invites peace. “The gospel of Jesus Christ is indeed a gospel of ‘glad tidings of great joy’ (Mosiah 3:3). I am so grateful for President Nelson’s example and teachings that so wonderfully emphasize this.”

President Camille N. Johnson

In a video, Relief Society General President Camille N. Johnson said she has made a personal study of the words of President Nelson, and she listens to one of his talks every morning when she is getting ready for the day. “His reassuring, hopeful, loving, prophetic messages always steel me for the challenges of the day. And I always hear something new and find myself marking and noting an insight I hadn’t had before.”

CONTINUES ON PG. 22

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DESERET NEWS | OCTOBER 2025

President Susan H. Porter

Primary General President Susan H. Porter gave a video message and said about the Prophet: “One witness of his prophetic calling is that he never ceases to point us to our Savior, Jesus Christ. In his teaching throughout his years as our called prophet, we can recall messages such as ‘Let God Prevail,’ ‘Hear Him,’ ‘Focus on the Temple,’ and how to prepare for the Second Coming of our Savior. How grateful I am to our Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ, for sending us modern day prophets to guide us back to Them.”

President Emily Belle Freeman

Young Women General President Emily Belle Freeman said President Nelson’s 2019 invitation to study Doctrine and Covenants 25 changed her life. “I could never have guessed, when I accepted that invitation in 2019, that five years later I would stand at that same pulpit and testify of the transformation that spiritual endeavor brought into my own life.

President Timothy L. Farnes

Young Men General President Timothy L. Farnes said each interaction with the Prophet has turned him to the Savior and he is filled with His love. “I think one of President Nelson’s desires for each of us is that we’d know more fully who we are and whose we are. ‘You are a child of God, a child of the covenant and a disciple of Jesus Christ’ (worldwide devotional for young adults, May 15, 2022). Thank you, President Nelson, for your love, teachings, and guidance, which bring us closer to the Savior and His love.”

Sister J. Anette Dennis

Sister J. Anette Dennis, first counselor in the Relief Society general presidency, expressed gratitude for the Prophet's teachings on the blessings of a covenant relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. She has learned principles from President Nelson's teachings that have drawn her closer to her Savior and Father in Heaven by deepening her understanding of their covenant relationship. She frequently shares his teachings on covenants, as his words have been a tremendous blessing to many Church members. She wishes him a happy 101st birthday, celebrating his wisdom and influence.”

Sister Kristin M. Yee

Sister Kristin M. Yee, second counselor in the Relief Society general presidency, shared that acting on the Prophet’s teachings has brought her closer to Heavenly Father and the Savior. A significant teaching was his message “Spiritual Treasures," where President Nelson invited women to access God's priesthood power through living their covenants.

Sister Amy A. Wright

Sister Amy A. Wright, first counselor in the Primary general presidency, described how, after serving as second counselor for nine months, President Nelson called her to be the first counselor. “Sitting across from our beloved Prophet, the first thing he did was inquire about our three sons by name, which deeply touched my mother heart. Tears still flow as I recall his profound yet simple manner of ministering to our family.”

DESERET NEWS | OCTOBER 2025

Sister Tracy Y. Browning

Sister Tracy Y. Browning, second counselor in the Primary general presidency, reflected on how President Nelson’s teachings have enhanced her ability to receive revelation. “Through his prophetic invitations, I’ve learned to hear the Lord's voice more clearly and respond faithfully. His counsel has led me to worship more in the house of the Lord, study the Atonement deeply, and pray for charity and virtue, drawing me closer to the Savior. I honor President Nelson for consistently guiding us to Jesus Christ and am grateful to have a Prophet of God with us.”

Brother David J. Wunderli

Brother David J. Wunderli, first counselor in the Young Men general presidency, wrote: “Thank you, President Nelson, for teaching us that turning to Christ in repentance means to change. We can change our minds, knowledge and spirits through Jesus Christ. This has changed my perspective to help me love better, do better and continuously improve.”

Brother Sean R. Dixon

Brother Sean R. Dixon, second counselor in the Young Men general presidency, began by quoting the Prophet’s teaching, “Now is the time for us to make our discipleship our highest priority.” “This is one of my favorite teachings from President Nelson, given in October 2024 general conference, ‘The Lord Jesus Christ Will Come Again.’ He teaches that, through Jesus Christ, it is never too late to be made whole. I’m so grateful for that truth and for that reminder from our Prophet.”

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CHURCH NEWS

Young adults offer ‘the richest resource we have anywhere,’ says President Holland In the concluding devotional of the 2025 Utah Area YSA Conference, President Jeffrey R. Holland offers young adults guidance for ‘pivotal moments’ in life

By Joel Randall

Church News

Speaking to thousands of young adults, many of whom had served a mission, President Jeffrey R. Holland recalled four friends who substantially affected his own decision to serve — Stephen Jones, Wendell Gray, Mervin Cox and R.J. Snow.

“It was obvious that on their missions they had experienced a ‘mighty change’ (Alma 5:14),” said the acting president of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. “They had come closer to the Lord Jesus Christ.”

Although already exemplary young men before their missions, “after going to the temple and serving their missions they became above-the-rim examples of what it means to be a disciple of Christ, to embrace His gospel and serve His Church.”

He added: “Whenever I saw them out on a date or at a ballgame or heard them speak in church, I simply said, ‘I want to be like that. If that is what a mission does, making friends like this even greater disciples of Christ, then I want to serve a mission.’”

In a Sunday, Aug. 31, devotional concluding the 2025 Utah Area Young Single Adult Conference, President Holland issued his Conference Center-sized battalion of YSAs an invitation: Keep up the spiritual momentum.

“I hope you, as young adults, will set the kind of example in your spirit of improvement that if my grandchildren saw you today, ... they would say, ‘I want to be like that.’”

That’s what President Holland’s four friends did for him, and it changed his life. “They simply kept adding to the ‘mighty change’ which the temple and their mission had begun. I want you to do it for my grandchildren and the rest of the children and youth in the Church who will be watching.”

In his remarks, titled “Coming to Christ: Pivotal Moments From My Youth,” President Holland recounted three key experiences from his young adulthood that started his discipleship journey toward Jesus Christ: mission, school and marriage. He then offered the young adults guidance in similar pivotal experiences in life.

“I am totally convinced that it is the young adult age group of this Church, single and married, that offers the richest resource we have anywhere, solid gold that to some degree is lost to us because we have left it largely untapped.”

Rio Giancarlo, Deseret News Elder Brian K. Taylor, president of the Utah Area of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, gives introductory remarks at the closing devotional of the 2025 Utah Area Young Single Adult Conference, held in the Conference Center in Salt Lake City on Sunday, Aug. 31, 2025.

Consistent progress even after missionary service

Serving a mission as a young adult initially didn’t seem wise for President Holland — no members in his family had served before, his family didn’t have much money, and he received limited encouragement to go.

Yet the opportunity to serve in Great Britain from 1960 to

1962 “proved to be monumental in my early young adult years and my relationship to Christ,” he said.

Inviting returned missionaries to cling to the change of heart from mission experiences, President Holland said: “Things are just beginning to get exciting. Keep it up. Keep moving. Keep scoring.”

The rights that returned missionaries fought for and the CONTINUES ON PG. 26

DESERET NEWS | OCTOBER 2025

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DESERET NEWS | OCTOBER 2025

wrongs they fought against still exist, he said. “But I fear that some of you have dropped out of the fight.” He added that “we have all kinds of work to do” before the Savior’s Second Coming.

“Please realize that in the doctrine of eternal progression, at some point you were released from your mission. But remember, you were not released from your temple covenants nor your continuing conversion toward being more and more like the Savior.”

Serving a mission is not just an item to check off on a to-do list, said President Holland, because “in this Church we believe in consistent, calculated, eternal progress.”

“Don’t forget what your mission was like,” he urged. “I ask you to keep going — keep up your prayers and study and other spiritual habits taken from your mission.”

Divine revelation in schooling

Two semesters before graduation at BYU, President Holland still had not declared a major. Eventually he did, only after a great deal of prayer, soul searching and revelation.

Standing in the Harold B. Lee Library, he received heavenly guidance about what his major should be and learned something of what to do with it. He still remembers where he was and what he was wearing when he received the revelation.

“That is amazing, when you think about it,” said President Holland, “that Father in Heaven would reach down to grab me, an absolute nobody, and direct my early study.”

He then promised the young adults: “If you are trying to draw close to the Savior and you have a relationship started with your Father in Heaven and you are striving to improve every year, you can count on revelation to guide you. ... Be strong. Be patient. Stay the task. Keep your head up.”

President Holland shared an apocryphal story of Abraham Lincoln, who experienced failure after failure in the early days

of his political life. One friend told him: “Abe, why don’t you quit? You are just not cut out for politics.” Lincoln in return said, “I will prepare, and perhaps my chance will come” — and he would later become 16th president of the United States.

“Be a learner,” said President Holland. “Know how to do things. Know that, especially in pursuing the work and the will of the Lord, the scriptures and the words of the prophets provide a syllabus that never grows old.”

Seeking the eternal in marriage

President Holland lovingly described the virtue and devotion of his late wife, Sister Patricia Holland, who even as a young adult helped her future husband want to serve a mission.

President Holland said: “On into our married life, she was always ready to have both of us accept any calling in the Church, always ready to have family prayer and family home evening even in a busy calendar, she was devoted all of her life to studying the scriptures, to paying tithing and so on.”

Underscoring the preciousness of temple marriage, President Holland explained that “nothing in this Church is to prepare us for the terrestrial kingdom.” It’s a truth that he said has brought him comfort following his companion’s death after 60 years of marriage.

“If I thought I was not going to see her and be with her in eternity,” he said, “I would be inconsolable, regardless of who tried to extend that consolation. And I don’t think I would be anywhere near this pulpit. But I will see her, and if I am worthy, I will be with her in eternity.”

Encouraging YSAs in their own pursuit of marriage, President Holland testified: “As you draw closer to Christ — He who is your ultimate companion, friend and exemplar — our Father in Heaven will someday, somewhere, in some way lead you to

the most important friend you will ever meet” — the person they will marry.

Friendship with this celestial companion, he said, will be enhanced dramatically by coming unto the Savior — “progress you make first alone, then next as a couple, even if it means waiting for a long time to find this partner and see the power of a righteous marriage in action.”

The Book of Mormon ‘will change and can even save your life’

Elder Brian K. Taylor, a General Authority Seventy and president of the Church’s Utah Area, spoke on the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon and of Joseph Smith’s prophetic commission to translate it.

He showed a video clip of a September 1986 BYU devotional he had attended, where Sister Holland said: “Every day you are here, read at least one verse in the Book of Mormon — and more if you can. ... And I promise you, if you do this, you will see miracles happen.”

After hearing those words, Elder Taylor recommitted himself that night to never miss a day reading the Book of Mormon. Sister Jill Taylor, now his wife, was also touched by Sister Holland’s testimony nearly four decades ago and found strengthening power in the Book of Mormon through her challenges.

Elder Taylor testified of Nephi’s words in the book, when he said, “Whoso would hearken unto the word of God, and would hold fast unto it, they would never perish” (1 Nephi 15:24).

“If you are not already feasting upon the words of Christ in its pages, I invite — even urge — you to make that commitment and start tonight,” said Elder Taylor. “I promise it will change and can even save your life.”

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SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE

“I am totally convinced that it is the young adult age group of this Church, single and married, that offers the richest resource we have anywhere, solid gold that to some degree is lost to us because we have left it largely untapped.”

What young adults were saying

$

Amelia Latu from Ogden, Utah, was inspired to focus on the small and simple things that grow her relationship with Jesus Christ. “Even though I have so many questions regarding specific aspects of my life — regarding school, regarding dating — I think the main focus for me is trying to build my relationship with my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ.”

Jeemin Kim from San Francisco, California — now attending BYU in Provo, Utah — recently completed a mission in July and felt President Holland’s address applied specifically to him. “It gave me more guidance to remain focused on Jesus Christ and not to lose myself and the habits I have built up.”

A message that stuck out to Deanine Dilworth, from Las Vegas, Nevada, was of choosing friends who can help her develop spiritually. “If they’re not people helping you stay on track, then they’re not going to help you grow closer to Jesus Christ.”

Caroline Rupper from Sandy, Utah, was struck by how relevant the devotional was to her as a young adult. “It’s incredible how much he connected to my concerns,” she said. “I feel grateful that I got to be there and hear his message to the young adults of the Church.”

72

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GENERAL CONFERENCE

A sociologist’s take on ‘The Family: A Proclamation to the World’ ‘It celebrates the power and value [and] intrinsic worth for the family in ways that have, I think, stood the test of time,’ says W. Bradford Wilcox

By Kaitlyn Bancroft

Church News

Sept. 23, 2025, marked the 30th anniversary of the publishing of “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Members of the Church also refer to this proclamation as the family proclamation.

For three decades, the principles and doctrine outlined in this document have helped members of the Church, as well as others, to strengthen and understand the importance of family in God’s eternal plan.

W. Bradford Wilcox, a sociology professor at the University of Virginia and director of the National Marriage Project, recently discussed on the Church News podcast how the sacred responsibilities of husband and wife are central to God’s plan and how couples can create a “marriage mindset” in their home and beyond.

Wilcox isn’t a Latter-day Saint but is familiar with the Church’s teachings. “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” he said, points people toward prioritizing marriage and family, and highlights how societies that embrace the family are more likely to flourish.

“It celebrates the power and value [and] intrinsic worth for the family in ways that have, I think, stood the test of time,” Wilcox said.

Overcoming the ‘Midas mindset’

Wilcox said that, around the world, many people are now embracing what he calls a “Midas mindset” — focusing only on themselves, their education and especially their careers.

The problem with the “Midas mindset,” however, “is that people don’t recognize that when it comes to meaning and happiness, we often find that family is a more reliable supplier of meaningful happiness,” Wilcox said, adding, “Simply being married is a bigger boost to the average American’s happiness, and being in a good marriage is by far the most important predictor of happiness for adults.”

Scott G Winterton, Deseret News W. Bradford Wilcox, a professor of sociology and the director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, speaks at a BYU Forum in Provo, Utah, on Tuesday, Nov. 28, 2023.

CONTINUES ON PG. 31

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to their spouse; rather, “you’re trying to figure out what’s best for us as a family.”

“It celebrates the power and value [and] intrinsic worth for the family in ways that have, I think, stood the test of time.”

- W. Bradford Wilcox

That’s not to say that marriage is the be-all, end-all of happiness. In any type of relationship, Wilcox said, there are “plenty of opportunities” to not be happy in a particular moment. But if someone lives only for in-the-moment happiness, that’s “basically a recipe for misery longer term and for having unstable and often unhappy relationships.”

Wilcox said that the more someone takes a “we before me” approach to marriage — prioritizing the needs of their spouse and children over their own desires — the more they’ll flourish.

He gave the example of a couple he knew who loved living in New Orleans, Louisiana, but who instead chose to live in Baton Rouge in order to be near their extended family, which benefited the couple’s marriage more than living in their preferred city. He also knows of an army officer who repeatedly turned down prestigious promotions because it would require moving to other bases, and he recognized the importance of giving his wife and children stability.

Wilcox said he isn’t suggesting that someone always defer

5 pillars of a strong marriage

Wilcox listed “five Cs” or pillars of creating a strong marriage: COMMUNION — Consistently making time for each other, such as having regular date nights.

• CHILDREN RECOGNIZING — Having a common project as a couple, typically raising kids together.

• COMMITMENT — Intentionally cultivating the virtue of fidelity within marriage, and not considering divorce over the typical challenges and disagreements found within marriage.

• CASH — Acknowledging the economic reality of marriage, and having a steady stream of income and shared assets.

• COMMUNITY — Fostering friendships with people who are also living family-friendly lifestyles.

Regarding the last point, “community,” Wilcox said that religious communities are particularly helpful for married couples.

Religion isn’t a “magical potion solution” to a marriage’s problems, he said, “but when you are integrated into your religious community, when you are actively praying, what we do see in the research, scientifically, is people are better able to handle stress. I think that’s very relevant when we’re thinking about the stresses that one experiences that can otherwise really be poisonous for your marriage or your family.”

Research also shows that a couple’s alignment on faith is a big predictor of marital harmony, Wilcox added.

“There’s just no question that having the same religious worldview — going to church together, having similar opinions about work and family and these core family commitments — is a big predictor of marital stability and quality,” he said.

•

Scott G Winterton, Deseret News W. Bradford Wilcox, a professor of sociology and the director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, speaks at a BYU Forum in Provo, Utah, on Tuesday, Nov. 28, 2023.

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Temples dotting the United States and Canada

Edmonton Alberta

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Victoria British Columbia Vancouver British Columbia

Seattle Washington Tacoma Washington Vancouver Washington Portland Oregon Willamette Valley Oregon

Moses Lake Spokane Washington Washington

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Leadership Matters Let's Keep Orem Focused on Family Values

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36 DESERET NEWS | OCTOBER 2025

Temples dotting Asia

Sapporo Japan

Ulaanbaatar Mongolia Seoul Korea Shanghai People’s Republic of China

Busan Korea

Tokyo Japan Osaka Japan Fukuoka Japan

Okinawa Japan Taipei Taiwan Kaohsiung Taiwan Tuguegarao City Philippines Laoag Santiago Philippines Yigo Bangkok Philippines Guam Alabang Philippines Thailand Urdaneta Naga Philippines Philippines Tacloban City Philippines Manila Philippines Cebu City Philippines Iloilo Philippines Cagayan de Oro Philippines Phnom Penh Davao Philippines Bacolod Cambodia Philippines Port Moresby Papua New Guinea

Temples dotting the Pacific

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Temples announced Under construction or scheduled for groundbreaking Operating or scheduled for dedication/rededication Under renovation or scheduled for renovation

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EVENTS

FESTIVALS CORNBELLY'S CORN MAZE & PUMPKIN FEST DATE: Oct. 1–23, 2025 TIME: 4pm–10pm

LOCATION: 3003 N Thanksgiving Way, Lehi

Utah’s largest corn maze and pumpkin festival with games, hayrides, and family activities.

HALLOWEEN CRUISE DATE: Oct. 1–30, 2025

TIME: 6:15pm–9:30pm

LOCATION: 3606 W Center St, Provo

A spooky evening boat ride along the Provo River with lights and Halloween fun.

HEBER VALLEY HAUNTED HAYRIDE & FALL FESTIVAL DATE: Oct. 1–18, 2025 TIME: 10am

LOCATION: 920 River Rd, Midway

Haunted hayrides, games, and fall celebrations in Heber Valley.

CROSS-E RANCH FALL FESTIVAL DATE: Oct. 1–24, 2025 TIME: 4pm–9pm

Joey Garrison, BYU Greg Wrubell, BYU play-by-play radio announcer, is pictured at LaVell Edwards Stadium in 2024.

LOCATION: 3500 N 2200 W, Salt Lake City Corn maze, slides, animals, and live entertainment.

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TIME: 8:30pm

KUWAHARA'S PUMPKIN PATCH & THRILLER PARK

ZIGGY MARLEY & BURNING SPEAR

TIME: 5:30pm

TIME: 7pm

GLEN RAY’S CORN MAZE & FIELD OF FRIGHT

DATE: Oct. 4, 2025

TIME: 4pm–9pm

LOCATION: The Great Saltair, Magna

DATE: Oct. 1–30, 2025

LOCATION: 1750 W 8000 S, Spanish Fork

DATE: Oct. 1–23, 2025

LOCATION: 12153 S 700 W, Draper

Famous pumpkin patch with Thriller Park haunted attractions.

DATE: Oct. 3, 2025

LOCATION: LaVell Edwards Stadium, Provo Major Big 12 night game at home for Cougar fans.

DATE: Oct. 12, 2025

UTAH ROYALS FC VS SAN DIEGO WAVE FC

LOCATION: Sandy Amphitheater, Sandy

TIME: 8pm

DATE: Oct. 11, 2025

Legendary reggae artists performing a rare double bill.

LOCATION: America First Field, Sandy NWSL match with playoff implications.

DATE: Oct. 4–12, 2025

THEATER & COMEDY

NBA PRESEASON: UTAH JAZZ VS DALLAS MAVERICKS

LOCATION: Snowbird Ski Resort, Little Cottonwood Canyon

WITCHAPALOOZA DINNER THEATER

TIME: 7pm

TIME: 6:30pm

Luka Dončić and the Mavs take on the Jazz in preseason action.

SNOWBIRD’S OKTOBERFEST TIME: 12pm–6pm

German food, beer, music, and alpine fall festivities.

DATE: Oct. 1–29, 2025

LOCATION: Gardner Village, West Jordan

CONCERTS & LIVE MUSIC

Interactive Halloween-themed dinner show full of campy fun.

CONAN GRAY: THE WISHBONE PAJAMA SHOW

SISTER ACT – THE MUSICAL

TIME: 8pm

TIME: 7:30pm

DATE: Oct. 1, 2025

LOCATION: Maverik Center, West Valley City

Gen-Z pop star known for his colorful stage presence and heartfelt anthems.

DATE: Oct. 13, 2025

LOCATION: Delta Center, Salt Lake City

COMMUNIT Y & MARKETS

DATE: Oct. 1–25, 2025

OREM’S SUNSET FARMERS MARKET

LOCATION: Hale Centre Theatre, Sandy

TIME: 5pm–9pm

Joyful Broadway musical based on the hit film.

DATE: Oct. 1–29, 2025

LOCATION: 293 E Center St, Orem Fresh produce, food trucks, and live music every weeknight.

THE MOUSETRAP BY AGATHA CHRISTIE QUINN XCII

DATE: Oct. 3–18, 2025

PROVO ART STROLL

TIME: 7pm

LOCATION: Lehi Arts Center, Lehi

TIME: 6pm–9pm

DATE: Oct. 3, 2025 LOCATION: Sandy Amphitheater, Sandy

Pop/hip-hop fusion artist bringing upbeat, feel-good energy.

TIME: 7:30pm

Agatha Christie’s classic murder mystery play with a famous twist ending.

DATE: Oct. 3, 2025

LOCATION: Downtown Provo

Art, food, and performances at downtown galleries after hours.

DESERET NEWS | OCTOBER 2025

RETIREMENT i n 2025 LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE!

RETIRED OR RETIRING SOON?

WITH OUR RETIREMENT PLANNING CHECKLIST:

Do I know ways to lower the taxes N Y ■ ■ on my IRA and 401(k) for a more

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When donating to charity N Y ■ ■ (including tithing) do I donate tax

comfortable retirement?

term care expenses?

market volatility?

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Security benefits?

I may need one?

on my bank accounts or home?

efficiently?

Is my retirement income protected N Y ■ ■ from taxes and inflation, so I don’t outlive it?

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