Issuu

pt m r

Se September e be 2026

ALT LIFE

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I Issue e 42

MAGAZINE MAGAZINE

A Lifestyle A L i f e styl e M Magazine a g a zin e M Made ade f for or E Everyone v e ryon e

Featuring Featuring

SHORT STACK SHORT STACK

Tall Snack

WHEN ““US” WHEN US” BECOMES ““ME” BECOMES ME” ALPHA, BETA, SIGMA... rethinking the labels we use to describe attraction

DDoes oes a a Threesome Threesome make make you N Non-Monogamous? on-Monogamous?

ALPHA, BETA, SIGMA... rethinking

the

labels

use to describe attraction

THE T H E ART A R T OF O F THE THE LIFESTYLE L IFESTYLE DINNER D I N N E R PARTY PARTY

FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS NAKED NAKED

Two Weeks to Recover

I Don't Want Your Husband

De mystifying the single woman in the LS

De-mystifying the single woman in the LS

altlifemagazine.com altlifemagazine.com

September 2026

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Issue 42

altlifemagazine.com altlifemagazine.com 34

Self-Care at Lifestyle Events: Because Burning Out Isn’t Hot

Stepping Outside the Couple

Five Days Naked: Two Weeks to Recover

The Art of the Lifestyle Dinner Party

Does a Three-some Make You Non-Monogomous?

I Don’t Want Your Husband

Alt Life Definitions

Alpha, Beta, Sigma

Lifestyle Events

Behind the Scenes

Cover Model Spread: Short Stack, Tall Snack

When Us Becomes Me

BEHIND THE SCENES

Dan & Lacy The Swing Nation

Nicole

Alt Life Operations

Mandy

Swinger Society Operations

Dianna

Swinger Society Marketing

SU P POR T STA FF & WR ITER S C A SS C HA R L I E LIV LOVE F A IR Y PU S S Y M O T HE R C A YD E NCE R A YN E CAJUN & CURVY

Alt Life Magazine was created with a simple but powerful belief: that our stories matter, even when the world tells us to keep them hidden. From the very beginning, this magazine was never about us—it was about you, the readers, contributors, and quiet voices who needed a place to feel seen without fear of judgment. Over the years, we’ve witnessed firsthand how sharing authentic experiences can replace stigma with understanding and isolation with connection. Every article read in private, every message that says “I finally feel understood,” and every volunteer who gives their time to help shine a little more light reminds us why this work matters. As we continue this journey together, our hope remains the same—to create a sanctuary where truth is celebrated, courage is nurtured, and our community no longer has to live in the shadows, but can stand proudly in the glow of shared humanity.

OPE NLOVE.ORG

SHORT STACK

Cover Feature

Getting to Know

Tall Snack

Together for five years and married since March 2024, Sean and Kelsi entered their relationship with something many couples exploring the lifestyle don’t have: experience. Both had participated in the lifestyle with previous partners, giving them a foundation for understanding what they wanted—and what they wanted to do differently. Today, they’re refreshingly candid about everything from jealousy and faith to sobriety, social media, content creation, and the realities of navigating a noticeable height difference. Above all, they’ve built a relationship around communication, respect, humor, and the freedom to live authentically.

04 27

Cover Feature

TURN ONS TURN ONS

Kelsi: Muscles and tattoos. A beard gets bonus points. A great sense of humor and confidence are both huge. Sean: I love big asses and thickness. Confidence and approachability are huge for me, and tattoos on women are chef’s kiss. TURN OFFS TURN OFFS

Kelsi: Bad teeth, smoking, and cockiness. And country boys just aren't my thing. Sean: Bad teeth, shitty attitudes, smoking, and women who disrespect their partners.

Has jealousy ever come up? Kelsi: Definitely. Our first experience with a unicorn taught us a lot because we didn’t establish many rules beforehand. Instead, we decided we would recap afterward and use the experience to figure out our boundaries. Kissing was one of the surprising things for me. Before Sean, I wasn’t really someone who enjoyed kissing, so once I fell in love with him, kissing became something I strongly associated with him and with intimacy. Seeing that shared with someone else brought up feelings I wasn’t expecting. It became something we had to communicate through and understand together.

Bubbly Outgoing Loyal

Cover Feature

Daphne

YOU BOTH HAD LIFESTYLE EXPERIENCE BEFORE GETTING TOGETHER. DID THAT MAKE NAVIGATING IT AS A COUPLE EASIER? Kelsi: Oh, absolutely. We both came into the relationship with previous experience, so there was already an understanding of the lifestyle. At the same time, we didn’t always have the luxury of enough inperson time together early on, which meant we had to become really good communicators. In some ways, that made our communication even stronger.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR PLAY STYLE AS A COUPLE? We enjoy full swap, group play, and separate play, although we prefer the other person to be present. We genuinely enjoy watching each other. For Sean, there’s also an element of wanting to know Kelsi is safe and comfortable. Watching her have a great experience is a huge turn-on for him, and usually it just makes him even more eager to get involved. WHAT DOES AN ORDINARY DAY LOOK LIKE FOR THE TWO OF YOU? Kelsi: Sean brings me a Spark in bed, and we scroll together. We like starting our mornings slowly. Then we work, go to the gym, and usually have dinner together.

Our everyday life is actually pretty normal—and we really enjoy that routine together.

Cover Feature

YOU’RE FAIRLY PUBLIC ABOUT BEING IN THE LIFESTYLE. WHAT HAS THAT EXPERIENCE BEEN LIKE? Kelsi: My family is very conservative and Christian, so there can definitely be some tension there. But I had an OnlyFans before we were public about the lifestyle, and eventually we decided we would rather live our truth than let other people control the narrative. If you own your truth, you take a lot of power away from the rumor mill.

I’m also a hairdresser, so trust me—the women live for the gossip! Sean: As a massage therapist, I’m not especially worried about it affecting my professional reputation. If someone has an issue with how I live outside of work, there are plenty of other clients who understand that my personal life and the quality of my work are two different things.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN AND FAMILY?

FAITH IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR LIVES. HOW DO FAITH AND THE LIFESTYLE COEXIST FOR YOU? Sean & Kelsi: We attend church regularly and practice our faith. Our church is wonderful because there isn’t this expectation that everyone walking through the doors has to be perfect. We have faith in our Creator and in something bigger than ourselves, and we don’t spend much time worrying about other people’s opinions of how we live. We attend a larger, nondenominational church, which is nice because everybody’s personal business isn’t necessarily everybody else’s business. And we tithe on our OnlyFans money, so that counts, right?

Sean: I have grown children who know. Our approach is basically: don’t ask questions you don’t actually want the answers to.

Cover Feature

SEAN, YOU WERE PREVIOUSLY AN ATHEIST AND STRUGGLED WITH Sean, you were previously an atheist and SOME OF THE PEOPLE YOU struggled with some of the people you ENCOUNTERED CHURCH. encountered in IN church. Kelsi, KELSI, what helped change his perspective? WHAT HELPED CHANGE HIS PERSPECTIVE? Kelsi: I explained it to him using the gym. When you’re working out, you don’t look at the person on the treadmill beside you and worry about everything they’re doing when they go home. You’re just glad they showed up and are trying to better themselves.

Why should church be any different? That perspective really resonated with him.

KELSI, HAD YOU DATED A SHORTER MAN BEFORE SEAN? Kelsi: No, I hadn’t. But Sean and I were friends first, and the feelings were already there before things became romantic. By the time we started dating, I honestly didn’t even notice the height difference in that way.

08 27

Daphne Bubbly Outgoing Loyal

Sean: Oh, absolutely. Certain positions can turn into a geometry problem. Doggy style on all fours can be challenging because the angles don’t always line up comfortably.

Cover Feature

HAS YOUR HEIGHT DIFFERENCE EVER AFFECTED YOUR SEX LIFE?

And shower sex? Forget it.

WHO IS MORE SOCIAL?

HAS THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HELPED OR HINDERED YOUR EXPERIENCES WITH OTHER PEOPLE? Kelsi: Helped, for sure. I’m definitely fetishized because of my height, but there’s actually something healing about that for me. My size used to feel like the thing nobody wanted, and now it’s something people are specifically attracted to. There’s something powerful about having something you once felt insecure about become something people celebrate. And people tend to assume Sean must absolutely be laying it down— which he is! It makes people curious about us.

Sean: Me, for sure. Kelsi is actually a huge softy, but she walks around six feet tall with serious resting bitch face, so people are terrified to approach her. Kelsi: Which is ridiculous.

I’m just a baby! HOW MANY ANIMALS ARE CURRENTLY RUNNING YOUR HOUSEHOLD? Kelsi: Three dogs, two cats, bearded dragon, and two snakes.

The otter, raccoon, and chameleon are still under negotiation.

Kelsi: Personally, I would love to see more couples of faith give themselves permission to explore. There’s a stereotype that says if you’re Christian, you can’t participate in this lifestyle. There are people at events who are believers but are terrified to talk about their faith—or people at church who would never acknowledge this side of themselves. I’d love for more people to understand that two things can be true at the same time. You can believe deeply in your faith and still explore your sexuality.

Cover Feature

WHAT CHANGE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO SEE IN THE ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLE COMMUNITY OVER THE NEXT DECADE?

SEAN, AS SOMEONE IN RECOVERY FROM ALCOHOL ADDICTION, HOW HAS SOBRIETY CHANGED YOUR LIFESTYLE EXPERIENCES? Sean: I’m fortunate that I’m naturally extroverted, so I think navigating events sober may be easier for me than it is for some people. The biggest difference is that I’m far less reckless with my behavior. But I was always more likely to drink when I was bored or alone, and lifestyle events are neither of those things for me. There’s so much happening and so much stimulation that drinking doesn’t feel necessary. My advice to anyone navigating recovery would be to work the steps and build your toolkit. Keep your mind sharp and stay focused on your sobriety. There is so much more to experience when you take the numbness away.

DOES KISSING SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN DRINKING EVER TRIGGER CRAVINGS? Sean: No. It isn’t tempting for me, and it doesn’t prevent me from kissing other people. I feel secure enough in my sobriety at this point to know where I stand.

Cover Feature

IS THERE ANYTHING STILL ON YOUR “FUCK-IT LIST”?

Daphne

Sean: I want to receive oral from someone with a split tongue. And I’d like to play with a little person.

Bubbly Outgoing Loyal

Kelsi: I want a gangbang where I get to personally handpick all the men.

Sean: Standing room only!

HAS SOBRIETY CHANGED HOW YOU THINK ABOUT CONSENT? Sean: Absolutely. Sobriety has caused me to reflect on some of my own past behaviors and decisions. Now I’m much more conscious of a playmate’s level of intoxication and whether they’re truly in a position to consent. That awareness is much louder for me now.

DO YOU TWO AGREE ON EVERYTHING? Sean & Kelsi: Definitely not. We don’t see eye to eye on everything— pun absolutely intended. That applies physically and to our opinions. But we love and respect each other, and that matters more than agreeing about everything.

Bubbly Outgoing Loyal

Sean & Kelsi: You don’t have to fit neatly into someone else’s idea of what a marriage, a person of faith, or a lifestyle couple is supposed to look like.

Cover Feature

Daphne

IF PEOPLE TAKE ONE THING AWAY FROM YOUR STORY AS A COUPLE, WHAT DO YOU HOPE IT IS?

We’re different in plenty of ways. We don’t agree on everything. We’ve had to navigate jealousy, communication, sobriety, judgment, and our own insecurities. But we choose each other, we respect each other, and we keep communicating. For us, living authentically doesn’t mean having everything figured out. It means being honest about who we are while continuing to grow together.

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH CRITICISM, JUDGMENT, AND MISUNDERSTANDINGS ON SOCIAL MEDIA? Kelsi: I enjoy matching their energy, honestly. Sometimes I think people deserve to get roasted back. If someone wants to bully strangers online, maybe getting a little of that energy returned will make them think before doing it to the next person. Usually, though, they’re just trolls who are unhappy with themselves. They have a whole lot to say about my life while other people are literally paying for my time—not theirs. That puts things into perspective pretty quickly.

HTTPS://HOO.BE/SHORTSTACKTALLSNACK

Lifestyle Advice

WHEN “US” BECOMES “ME” NAVIGATING DIVORCE IN THE LIFESTYLE By: Aeroroses One of the biggest misconceptions people outside the lifestyle have is that swinging causes divorce. While that can certainly happen in some relationships, the reality is much more complicated. Couples divorce for the same reasons everyone else does—poor communication, growing apart, financial stress, infidelity outside agreed-upon boundaries, incompatible life goals, or simply realizing they're no longer the right partners for each other. The lifestyle doesn't create those problems. Sometimes it simply shines a brighter light on them. Over the years, I've watched friends navigate divorce after years in the lifestyle, and one thing has become very clear: ending a marriage doesn't just change your relationship status. It changes your place within a community that often revolves around couples.

Whether you've been together for five years or twenty-five, ending a marriage means rebuilding parts of your life that you never expected to rebuild. In the lifestyle, that journey comes with an extra layer that many people outside our community don't think about. You aren't just losing a spouse. You're potentially losing the person you've attended every event with, the partner who knew your signals across a crowded room, the one who introduced you to new people, helped navigate awkward conversations, and shared every experience beside you.

kind of heartbreak. But I have attended lifestyle events without my husband, and while the reasons were completely different, I remember just how intimidating it felt to suddenly be "me" instead of "us." It's a strange feeling. People who know you as a couple aren't quite sure how to approach you. New people don't know your dynamics. You find yourself wondering where to stand, who to talk to, or whether you should even join a conversation that's already happening.

For the first time, you have to create your own place in a room where you've always shared one. That experience gave me just enough perspective to appreciate how much courage it must take for someone who's newly divorced to walk through those same doors.

When couples become active in the lifestyle, they don't just build friendships —they build couple friendships.

Lifestyle Advice

LOSING MORE And then one day... you're expected THAN A to walk into that same room alone. I haven't experienced divorce myself, MARRIAGE so I can't pretend to understand that

Weekend events, hotel takeovers, house parties, vacations, dinner dates, group chats... they're all designed around two people showing up together. When a marriage ends, those friendships often become complicated. Friends may feel pressured to "choose sides," even when neither person expects them to. Some couples become hesitant to invite either person, worried it might create awkwardness. Others naturally stay closer to one half of the former couple simply because that's who they connected with more. It hurts.Not because anyone is intentionally being cruel, but because the social dynamics become difficult for everyone involved. Remember this: The Community Doesn't Know What You Need. One thing I've observed from friends who have gone through divorce is that everyone wants to be supportive, but nobody really knows what that looks like. Do they invite both former spouses? Only one? Neither? Should they introduce you to new people? Give you space? Pretend nothing has changed? Most people have good intentions, but they're afraid of saying the wrong thing.

Tell them you'd love an invitation. Tell them introductions.

you'd

appreciate

Tell them if conversations altogether.

you'd rather skip about your ex

People aren't mind readers, and sometimes the strongest thing you can do is simply tell your friends what you need.

STARTING OVER AS A SINGLE

By myself, I had to become the person who started the conversation. That wasn't easy for me because he’s the chatty one. I’m the wallflower. I had to walk up to people. I had to introduce myself. I had to tell couples that yes, I was there on my own, and yes, I was happy to meet new people. It felt awkward at first, but every conversation got a little easier. While the reasons are obviously different, I imagine many newly divorced people experience something similar. You're no longer showing up with your built-in social comfort zone. You're building a new one. If you decide to continue in the lifestyle as a single person, give yourself permission to take things slowly.

Walking into your first event alone after years of attending as part of a couple can be intimidating.

You don't have to play. You don't have to flirt. You don't have to prove you're "back."

Everything feels different.

Sometimes the biggest victory is simply walking through the front door, seeing familiar faces, and remembering that you're still you—even if your relationship status has changed.

People interact with you differently. Conversations change. You suddenly notice how many event activities are geared toward couples. Even checking into a hotel room by yourself can feel strangely emotional.

Lifestyle Advice

If you're the one navigating the divorce, don't be afraid to help your friends help you.

It's also worth recognizing that being single comes with an entirely different set of dynamics.

I remember attending an event without my husband and realizing something I had never thought about before. When we attend together, conversations happen naturally. One of us knows someone, introduces the other, and suddenly we're both chatting with a new group.

The lifestyle is a significant part of your past and, if you plan to continue participating, your future. Like having children, practicing a particular religion, or wanting to relocate someday, it's an important compatibility issue.

Single men often face the opposite challenge. Many events have limited single male attendance or require sponsorship, making it harder to participate than it was as part of a couple.

The key is timing.

Neither situation is easy, and both require patience, confidence, and healthy boundaries.

When the conversation does happen, be honest. Explain what the lifestyle means to you rather than assuming they understand it from stereotypes or television.

DATING AGAIN Eventually, many divorced people find themselves asking another question: "When do I tell someone I'm in the lifestyle?" If you're dating another lifestyle participant, the conversation is usually straightforward. You already share an understanding of open communication, boundaries, and non-traditional relationships. Dating someone who isn't in the lifestyle is a different story.

Lifestyle Advice

Single women often receive far more attention than they're prepared for. While that might sound flattering on paper, it can quickly become overwhelming if people mistake "single" for "available."

Get to know each other first. Build trust. Allow them to know who you are before introducing a topic they may have strong assumptions about.

Some people will be curious. Some will have questions. Some will decide it's not for them. Compatibility isn't about convincing someone to accept your life. It's about discovering whether your lives genuinely fit together. Trying to "convert" someone into the lifestyle almost never ends well. Likewise, agreeing to permanently give up something that's deeply important to you simply to preserve a relationship can lead to resentment later. Honest conversations early can prevent much bigger heartbreak later.

Should you tell them on the first date? Probably not. Should you hide it for six months? Definitely not.

Lifestyle Advice

YOUR IDENTITY IS BIGGER THAN YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS One thing I hope everyone remembers—whether they're divorced, widowed, separated, or simply attending solo for the weekend—is that your value in this community has never depended on whether someone is standing beside you. You are still interesting. You are still attractive. You are still worthy of friendship. You still belong. Your relationship status may have changed. Your place in this community doesn't have to. Maybe your next chapter exactly like your last one.

looks

Maybe it looks completely different. Either way, you don't have to have it all figured out before walking through the door. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is simply show up. And from there, one conversation at a time, you'll discover that "me" can be just as strong as "us."

Creating an evening people remember - not because it was a LS gathering, but simply because it was an exceptional time.

While inexperienced in the LS, I'm still able to be sure of a few things. One of them is that the most successful lifestyle social events (like a dinner party) share an unexpected secret: they aren't really about the lifestyle. They're about hospitality.

I'm very grateful to have married an extroverted social butterfly. She loves to entertain, and in our almost 21 years together, I've learned a few things about being a host. It's about bringing together interesting, engaging people in an atmosphere where conversation flows as easily as the wine, laughter fills the room, and connections develop naturally — without expectation or agenda. Ironically, the less that an evening revolves around the lifestyle itself, the more authentic the experience becomes.

By: BlueDevil.DadBod!

Lifestyle Advice

THE T HE A ART R T OF O F THE THE LIFESTYLE L I F E S T Y L E DINNER D I N N E R PARTY PARTY

Like any memorable dinner party, it begins with intention. The lighting should invite people to linger. Music should complement conversation rather than compete with it. A thoughtfully prepared meal — whether an elegant three-course dinner or beautifully presented tapas — communicates that your guests matter. Signature cocktails add personality, while quality nonalcoholic options ensure that guests like me feel equally welcome. The goal isn't extravagance; it's comfort wrapped in elegance. One of a host's greatest talents is the art of the introduction. Resist the temptation to define guests by how long they've been in the lifestyle or what kind of relationships they prefer. Instead, introduce the whole person.

"David restores vintage motorcycles." "Melissa has an unhealthy obsession with Broadway musicals." These are the details that spark genuine conversations. Whether within the LS or in “civilian” life, attraction may begin with appearance, but lasting chemistry is built through personality, humor, curiosity, and shared experiences.

As the evening unfolds, let conversations wander wherever they naturally wish to go. Travel stories, favorite restaurants, career adventures, books, music, embarrassing childhood moments, or dream vacations all make for richer dialogue than endless discussions about ENM.

Lifestyle Advice

"Sarah recently returned from Italy, where she took a cooking class in Tuscany."

Ironically, when the lifestyle isn't the centerpiece, it becomes easier for people to relax into simply being themselves. And that's where real chemistry lives. Experienced hosts understand that chemistry cannot be assigned like seating arrangements. Not every guest will click romantically. Not every couple will discover another couple they're drawn to, and that's perfectly fine. The evening isn't a failure if no sparks fly. Sometimes the greatest success is watching strangers become friends. The best hosts don't manufacture attraction; they create the conditions where attraction is free to emerge — or not.

Consent, respect, and discretion are woven quietly into every aspect of the evening. No one should feel pressured to flirt, drink, participate, or explain their boundaries. The most attractive quality in any host is the ability to make every guest feel safe, seen, and completely comfortable saying either "yes" or "no." Alcohol deserves similar mindfulness. A well-crafted cocktail enhances hospitality; excessive drinking undermines it. Good judgment, genuine consent, and memorable conversations are always more valuable than another round.

Perhaps the greatest compliment a host can receive comes the next morning — not comments about the lifestyle, but messages saying, "What a wonderful evening," or "We can't wait to see everyone again." Those words mean the atmosphere accomplished exactly what it was intended to do.

Lifestyle Advice

Equally important is establishing expectations before guests ever ring the doorbell. A lifestyle dinner party should never feel like an audition or an obligation. Guests should know they're invited for dinner, drinks, and good company. If the evening naturally evolves into something more, wonderful. If it ends with coffee, dessert, and hugs goodbye, that's equally successful. Freedom from expectation is often what makes authentic connection possible.

Because in the end, the lifestyle may be what introduces people, but it is generosity, authenticity, and gracious hospitality that bring them back. The finest lifestyle dinner parties, just like those in the vanilla world, aren't remembered for what happened after dessert. They're remembered for how everyone felt while they were there: welcomed without judgment, accepted without pressure, and surrounded by people who valued connection over expectation.

That's not just good hosting. That's an art.

De-mystifying the single woman in the LS By: DirtyD

Lifestyle Advice

I Don't Want Your Husband There is a strange assumption that follows single women through the lifestyle: if we're interested in someone's husband, we must secretly want to have him. Not have fun with him. Not enjoy his company. Not appreciate the chemistry. Not develop a friendship or connection that exists comfortably within the boundaries everyone agreed upon. No. Apparently, somewhere between exchanging numbers and having great chemistry, I'm supposed to begin plotting a hostile takeover of somebody's marriage. Let me clear something up.

I don't want your husband.

One of the sexiest things about a married man in the lifestyle isn't how much attention he gives me.

It's how he treats her. Your Marriage Isn't the Thing Standing in My Way. Some of the most attractive couples I've encountered are the ones whose connection is impossible to miss.

It's in the way he looks across the room to find her. It's the private joke that makes them both laugh. It's the casual touch as they pass each other. It's the way she lights up watching someone flirt with him instead of immediately becoming threatened by it.

Lifestyle Advice

You can see it before either of them says a word about how strong their marriage Page 69 is.

It's knowing they can explore separately and still somehow orbit each other.

That's sexy. Give me the couple who genuinely enjoys watching the other person be desired. Give me the husband who can make another woman feel attractive without making his wife feel invisible. Give me the wife who can experience compersion because she knows another woman's attraction to her husband isn't subtracting anything from their relationship. There is something incredibly appealing about witnessing two people who have built enough trust that someone else's attraction doesn't automatically register as danger. I'm not looking at that dynamic thinking, “how do I get rid of her?” I'm looking at it thinking, “that's exactly why this works.” Her presence isn't ruining the fantasy. It’s making it! Their love for each other is part of what makes me curious about them!

Lifestyle Advice

Page 69

Sexual Compatibility Is Not Compatibility Here's another inconvenient truth: just because two people have fantastic sexual chemistry doesn't mean they'd make good partners. We need to stop treating sexual compatibility like an audition for a relationship. Sometimes two people are spectacular together in one very specific context and would drive each other absolutely insane trying to decide whose family they're visiting for Thanksgiving. I can be attracted to someone without wanting to build a life with him. We can have chemistry without needing a mortgage. I can enjoy someone's confidence, humor, energy and sexuality while simultaneously knowing I would never want to share a bathroom with him. Those things can coexist. And sometimes the reason a man is attractive is purely in how he looks at his person. Why would I want to dismantle the very thing contributing to what I find attractive?

Lifestyle Advice

Contrary to Popular Belief, I Want to Be Chosen Too There is another assumption buried underneath the fear of the single woman: that because I'm single, I'll happily accept whatever scraps of emotional availability happen to fall off someone's marriage. I won't. Being single doesn't mean I don't want to be chosen. It doesn't mean I dream of becoming somebody's permanent backup plan. It doesn't mean I'm waiting around hoping that one day a married man will decide I'm interesting enough to upgrade from extracurricular activity to replacement wife. I want someone who chooses me because he wants me, not because his marriage is failing and I happened to be standing nearby when the vacancy opened. There is a massive difference between being wanted and being chosen If I'm ever going to build something meaningful with someone, I want a relationship that begins because two available people looked at each other and said, You. I want to build something with you. I don't want someone else's position. I want my own.

Attention is easy. Being desired is flattering. Being chosen is intentional.

Single women notice more than some couples realize.

Lifestyle Advice

I'm Paying Attention to How You Love Her

I notice whether you speak warmly about your spouse when she isn't standing beside you. I notice whether your boundaries mysteriously change depending on whether she's in the room. I notice whether "we practice independently" actually means "I do things and tell her later." I notice whether you seem proud that other people find her attractive or threatened when she receives more attention than you do. Because how you treat your spouse tells me far more about you than how charming you can be while trying to impress me. Anybody can be attentive when something is new. Show me how you treat the person who has seen you sick, stressed, exhausted, irritating and completely unsexy—and still built a life with you. That's the interesting part.

Perhaps that's the biggest misconception. I don't want to beat your wife. I don't want to be prettier than her, sexier than her, younger than her, more exciting than her or somehow so unforgettable that you go home questioning your entire marriage.

Page 69

Lifestyle Advice

I'm Not Competing With Her

That isn't the compliment people seem to think it is. In a healthy lifestyle dynamic, another woman doesn't have to lose for me to have a good experience.

That's the entire point.

There is room for attraction without replacement. There is room for chemistry without ownership There is room for connection without competition. And there is something profoundly sexy about being around a couple who truly understands that. When I see a man openly adore his wife while still being capable of genuine attraction to someone else, I don't see a challenge.

I see emotional security. When I see a woman enjoying the fact that someone else recognizes what she already sees in her husband, I don't see naïveté.

I see compersion. I think it's beautiful.

Lifestyle Advice

So Please, Keep Your Husband I mean that affectionately. I hope he keeps choosing you. I hope you keep choosing him. I hope you flirt with other people and then catch each other's eye across the room. I hope you have adventures worth talking about on the drive home. I hope you occasionally watch someone else discover exactly what you've always found irresistible about your spouse and think, Yep. I know. And if our paths cross somewhere in the middle of all that, wonderful. Maybe we'll have chemistry. Maybe we'll become friends. Maybe we'll have a connection that's exciting precisely because nobody needs it to become something it isn't. But I'm not waiting in the wings hoping your marriage collapses so I can finally claim my prize. Contrary to popular belief, this single woman wants to be chosen too. I don't want to replace someone's wife. I don't want to inherit someone else's relationship. And I certainly don't want to "win" a man by watching him disrespect the woman he once promised to choose.

The couples I find sexiest are the ones who make it abundantly clear that they love each other. Because the most attractive thing a married person can show me isn't that they'd risk their relationship for me. It's that they wouldn't.

Lifestyle Advice

ALPHA, BETA, SIGMA... rethinking the labels we use to describe attraction By: Caydence Rayne

Most of us have heard someone described as an alpha or beta. Those terms have been around for years and have become part of dating conversations, relationship advice, and even discussions within the lifestyle. But recently, I heard a term that was completely new to me.

Sigma. I was at a lifestyle event when I met someone who immediately caught my attention. He wasn't loud or trying to be the center of attention.

He was confident, engaging, and carried himself with a quiet self-assurance that was incredibly attractive. As we talked, I mentioned that I'd always assumed I was attracted to alpha energy, but never arrogance. He smiled and said, "Maybe you don't actually like alpha energy. Maybe you like sigma energy." I'll admit, I had no idea what he meant. Like any curious person, I went home and started researching.

Lifestyle Advice

What I found was fascinating. Not because I suddenly believed people fit neatly into personality categories, but because it made me think differently about confidence, attraction, and what we're really drawn to in another person.

Where did these labels come from? The idea of the alpha male didn't start with humans at all. It came from early research on captive wolf packs in the 1940s. Scientists observed unrelated wolves living together in artificial conditions and concluded that dominant "alpha" wolves rose to the top through competition. Years later, one of the original researchers, wildlife biologist L. David Mech, spent decades studying wolves in the wild and discovered that those earlier conclusions didn't hold up. Wild wolf packs function much more like family units, with the parents naturally leading the group. The popular image of the alpha wolf fighting to maintain dominance was largely based on wolves living in captivity, not in nature.

Even so, the term had already become part of our culture. People eventually began applying these labels to human personalities. The alpha became the confident, assertive leader. Someone comfortable taking charge, making decisions, and influencing others. The beta became the more cooperative, agreeable personality. Unfortunately, over time the internet turned "beta" into an insult, despite the fact that many of the traits associated with it; empathy, patience, collaboration, and emotional awareness, are strengths in healthy relationships.

Then, over the past several years, another term started gaining popularity online.

So...What is Sigma? Unlike alpha and beta, many people have never even heard the word sigma used this way. The "sigma male" is a relatively new internet archetype. It's used to describe someone who possesses many of the qualities people admire in an alpha; confidence, competence, and independence, but without seeking status, recognition, or leadership for its own sake.

Lifestyle Advice

Think of someone who doesn't need to be the loudest person in the room because they're already comfortable with who they are. Someone who is self-assured without being self-important. Someone who doesn't avoid people but also doesn't need their approval. It's an interesting concept, but it's important to remember that psychology does not recognize alpha, beta, or sigma as scientific personality types. They're modern cultural labels, not validated psychological frameworks. And honestly, that may be the most important takeaway of all.

Labels are Easy. People are Complicated. The more I read, the more I realized that I wasn't searching for a label. I was trying to understand why this particular person stood out.

An arrogant person wants you to know they're important. A confident person doesn't need to convince you of anything.

We've all met people who announce they're the alpha in the room. Sometimes they are. Sometimes they're simply the loudest person there.

That distinction hit me harder than any definition of alpha or sigma ever could.

Confidence and arrogance often get lumped together, but they're very different things. Arrogance audience.

needs

Confidence doesn't.

Lifestyle Advice

What Actually Draw us to Someone? Psychologists have spent decades studying attraction, and while physical chemistry certainly matters, confidence consistently ranks as an attractive quality. More importantly, research suggests that emotional security, authenticity, and healthy relationship behaviors are associated with stronger, more satisfying relationships. Those qualities aren't exclusive to any one personality label. They're characteristics that anyone can develop. Maybe that's why these labels eventually start to fall apart. I've met incredibly charismatic people who couldn't regulate their emotions. I've met quiet people who commanded respect the moment they walked into a room. I've met leaders who never had to tell anyone they were leaders.

The Lifestyle has a way of Exposing Authenticity One thing I love about this community is that it's difficult to fake confidence for very long.

often aren't.

the room.

The ones chasing attention usually reveal that they need it.

Not because trying to.

Whether you're attending a social, a club event, or a house party, people eventually show you who they are.

Meanwhile, the people who quietly communicate well, respect boundaries, make others feel comfortable, and never seem to have anything to prove often become some of the most sought-after people in

The ones constantly telling everyone how dominant they are

they're

Because authenticity has a way of standing out. In a community built on trust, communication, and vulnerability, those qualities matter far more than a carefully crafted persona.

Lifestyle Advice

Maybe I was Never Looking for an Alpha When I replay that conversation in my mind, I realize I may have been using the wrong word all along. I've never been attracted to arrogance. I've never been impressed by someone who has to remind everyone how successful, dominant, or desirable they are. What catches my attention is something much quieter. Someone who is comfortable in silence. Someone who asks thoughtful questions instead of waiting for their turn to speak. Someone who is confident enough to admit they don't know everything. Someone who can lead without controlling. Someone whose presence feels calming instead of intimidating. Whether someone chooses to call that alpha, sigma, or something else entirely doesn't really matter to me anymore.

The Question we should be Asking Instead of asking whether someone is an alpha or a sigma, maybe we should ask different questions. Do they make people feel respected? Do they communicate honestly? Can they handle rejection without becoming defensive? Do they celebrate other people's successes instead of competing with them? Can they own their mistakes? Can they make the people around them feel emotionally safe? Those answers tell me far more than any Greek letter ever could.

Lifestyle Advice

My Take Yes, the gentleman who sparked this article also happened to show me a very good time. I'd be leaving out an important detail if I pretended otherwise. But here's the funny part. What I've thought about the most since that evening wasn't the chemistry. It was sentence.

single

"Maybe you don't like alpha energy. Maybe you like sigma energy." That's the kind of conversation that's worth writing about. I still don't know whether the man I met was a sigma. Maybe he was. Maybe he wasn't. What I do know is that he challenged an assumption I'd carried for years.

I thought I was attracted to alpha energy. What I discovered is that I'm attracted to security. Not security in financial sense.

the

Not security in status. Security in self. The kind of confidence that doesn't have to announce itself. The kind of strength that doesn't need to overpower anyone else. The kind of person who walks into a room with quiet confidence, treats everyone with respect, and somehow manages to be unforgettable without ever trying to be. If that's what people mean when they say "sigma," then maybe I've learned a new word.

But more importantly, I've learned something about myself. Maybe that's the point. The labels aren't nearly as important as the qualities beneath them. We spend so much time trying to categorize people that we sometimes overlook what actually makes someone attractive. It isn't dominance. It isn't popularity. It isn't who commands the room. It's authenticity. It's emotional intelligence. It's confidence without ego. Whether the internet calls that alpha, beta, sigma, or something else entirely, I'll leave that debate to everyone else. I'll be over here appreciating the people who don't have to tell me who they are. Because they simply show me.

Lifestyle Advice

By: Fairy By: Fairy Pussy Pussy Mother Mother

Self-Care at Lifestyle Events Because Burning Out Isn’t Hot

Let’s be real: lifestyle events can go from fun to feral real quick. The music’s loud, the drinks are flowing, the energy is high … and suddenly you’re three hours deep, overstimulated, dehydrated, and wondering why you feel off. Hot take: running yourself into the ground isn’t an admirable personality trait.

Lifestyle Advice Because let’s be honest, there’s nothing cute about being so overwhelmed you can’t even enjoy the moment. And when we’re drained, we can’t connect or have fun anyway.

Self-care at these events isn’t boring. It's what keeps you looking good, feeling good, and actually enjoying the night. It looks like: Taking a breather instead of forcing yourself to stay “on”

You don’t need to prove you can “keep up.” You need to prove you can take care of yourself in any environment. So yea … be bold, be social, be a little wild … but stay in control of your energy.

Drinking your water like you actually respect your body Saying “I’m gonna sit this one out” without guilt or explanation Not matching everyone else’s chaos just because it’s happening Leaving when your energy dips instead of waiting until you’re drained

Lifestyle Advice

Because the real power move? Waking up the next day feeling like yourself instead of recovering from ignoring every signal your body gave you. So...

Hydrate, H H yd y dr ra at te e,, Eat, Ea E at t,, And An A nd d Re Rest R es stt when wh w he en n yo you’re y ou u’rre e ttired tiirre ed d ’

Waking up the next day feeling like yourself instead of recovering from ignoring every signal your body gave you. So... hydrate, eat, rest when tired and remember to listen to your body even if you don't want to miss out. A healthy person is a happy person and that goes for the mind and body. Fairy Pussy Fairy Pussy Mother Mother

Lifestyle Stories

S TEPPING OUT SIDE THE COUPLE:

My First Lifestyle Event Without My Husband By:CajunandCurvy

For most of our lifestyle experience, my husband and I have explored together. We’ve been together for 14 years and married for two, and somewhere along the way, swinging became one of the ways we connected, explored, and trusted each other. We’re open to most styles of play, including separate play. But there was one thing we had never done: actually go somewhere separately.

The Permission Was Easy. The Reality Wasn’t. The funny thing is that the conversation with my husband wasn’t difficult at all. We talked about it, and we agreed that I could play separately while I was there. In fact, he encouraged me. He trusted me, supported me, and genuinely wanted me to have fun. On paper, everything was perfect. And initially, the idea was incredibly exciting.

Then, completely unexpectedly, I got an invitation from my best friend to join her at Eroticon for the Splash Takeover in Atlanta. It was last minute. It was out of state. And, most importantly, my husband wasn’t going to be there.

I loved the thought of stepping outside my normal comfort zone, meeting new people, making new connections, and strengthening some existing ones. There was something liberating about knowing I could walk into a room on my own and experience the lifestyle as me, rather than automatically experiencing it as half of a couple. But then my brain started doing what brains do.

It spiraled.

Lifestyle Stories

Where Is My Person? I quickly discovered just how much I rely on my husband in these environments. Normally, I’m the one who enjoys watching him play while I sit back and enjoy the show. I love seeing him have fun, flirting with people, making friends, engaging in play, and experiencing those moments side by side. This time, he wasn’t there. There was no quick glance across the room. No side quests. No crazy shenanigans he’s known for. No “Did you see that?” afterward. No familiar person standing beside me as I navigated a new environment. It was surprisingly strange. And somewhere in the middle of all that excitement, I realized something I hadn’t expected; maybe I didn’t actually want to play without him. Not because I didn’t trust him. Not because he didn’t trust me. And certainly not because I wasn’t capable of doing it. I simply realized that I like having him there. He’s my person. He’s my cheerleader. He’s the person I look for across a crowded room. And I discovered that part of what makes our lifestyle experiences so meaningful to me isn’t just the freedom to explore other connections—it’s getting to reconnect with him afterward. That realization everything.

changed

The Hardest “No” I’ve Ever Given There was one person in particular that I have been flirting with practically since we entered the lifestyle. So when the opportunity finally came along while I was there, I had initially agreed to play. Then I changed my mind.

It wasn’t easy turning down something I had flirted toward for so long. I worried about disappointing this person and wondered whether I was somehow letting an opportunity slip away since I knew they weren’t going to be at the next event I was going to. But the response I received was exactly what I needed. There was understanding. No guilt trip. No pressure. No attempt to change my mind. Just respect. And that experience reminded me of one of the most important things about any kind of consensual exploration: a yes is only a yes for as long as you genuinely want it to be. Changing your mind doesn’t mean you failed.

The surprising part? I didn’t need to play to have an incredible time. I danced. I flirted. I kissed. I laughed. I met people. I made connections. I stepped outside my comfort zone. And I had an absolute blast. That weekend reminded me of something I have known all along; the lifestyle is about so much more than sex. It’s about connection. It’s about confidence. It’s about meeting people who allow you to explore different sides of yourself. For me, this particular experience wasn’t about proving that I could play without my husband. It was about discovering whether I wanted to. And the answer turned out to be more complicated—and much more meaningful—than I expected.

Sometimes Leaving Your Comfort Zone Means Learning Where It Is I went into the weekend thinking my biggest challenge would be the Atlanta traffic. IYKYK

Lifestyle Stories

I Still Had an Amazing Time

Instead, my biggest challenge was realizing how much I value having my husband beside me. I thought stepping outside my comfort zone meant pushing myself to do something new. But sometimes stepping outside your comfort zone means giving yourself permission to say, “This isn’t actually what I want right now.” And that’s okay. I can be independent and still deeply connected to my husband. I can flirt, dance, kiss, make new friends, and explore new experiences while still realizing that the person I want to tell everything to at the end of the night is the same person I’ve chosen for the last 14 years.

My first solo lifestyle event didn’t turn out the way I imagined. In some ways, it turned out better. Because I learned that freedom isn’t about doing everything you’re allowed to do. Sometimes, freedom is knowing you could—and choosing what feels right for you anyway. And sometimes the most unexpected adventure is stepping outside your comfort zone only to discover exactly what makes you feel at home.

Lifestyle Stories

FIVE DAYS FIVE DAYS NAKED NAKED Two Weeks to Recover By: Liv Love

Last week: Me dancing, sucking and youknow-what-ing at naked pool parties. Me flirting and fliting around the club kissing girls. Me and my husband asking, “Prefieres ingles or espanol?”, dancing the night away, inviting couples back to our room for play.

This week: I’ve barely left the house. I’ve slept nearly 12 hours a day, haven’t exercised, and have only eaten foods I can prepare in the microwave. I’m wiped.

I don’t think a social hangover is a unique concept, but I do think the depth and extent of a hangover from a Lifestyle vacation is unique. It’s unlike anything else because the Lifestyle is unlike anything else. It’s not like raving, although it includes rave-like settings. It’s not like a beach vacation, although it may involve a beach. And even if I had time to read on my balcony and take moments for peace, I have to consciously work and decide to relax rather than stick to the schedule of events.

Lifestyle Stories

We just got back from Young Libertine Week, held by SpicyMatch in Cap d’Agde, France. If you don’t know Cap d’Agde, it is a nudist village, one of the largest in the world, that is filled with swingers clubs of every variety. In addition to a large nude beach and being able to shop, go to restaurants, and walk anywhere you please in the nude, it has a huge swinger contingent. During the day, there are pool parties with beds surrounding the pool for play, and during the evenings, the whole village is alive with people in their best fits heading to one of the several nightclub or spa swinger venues. In five days, we attended eight parties, and we played more that week than we have in the past year.

Now I’m exhausted, and I think there are two reasons why. One is obvious: Lifestyle vacations require you to be more social than perhaps you ever are, especially if you’re an introvert like me. Plus, not only are there more social interactions, but the level of attention and care you must give them is higher. You’re constantly meeting new people, trying to remember things about them, trying to relax, maybe consuming alcohol or drugs to help you relax, trying to rally, dancing, flirting and sexing unlike you ever would in the “real” world. Never, when I was a Vanilla, did I party this much.

The second reason I’m exhausted is a bit more pernicious. And it’s because I’m sad. There is a cultureshock when you go back to Vanilla World that can’t be anticipated or lessened (without taking away from your vacation). While on vacation, you get to live in this fantasy world where everyone is like you. Everyone engages in sex with people who aren’t their partner; they all get it. Here, you are normal. Everyone you meet is a potential friend and likely very friendly. Life feels easier, and there is less friction.

Lifestyle Stories

My husband keeps saying, “Doesn’t it feel wrong that everyone is wearing clothes?” And we’re finding it hard not to stare at people’s tits, seeing as that is totally allowed and welcome at Cap d’Agde. Out in the real world, I’m again confronted with some harsh “realities.” I see poverty, I see families in conflict or married couples who don’t seem in love. And in this world, I feel lonely, like I can’t relate to the majority experience. And I don’t want to live in this world.

So upon return from vacation, not only am I exhausted, but I’m also grieving the end of the world as I came to know it for a week. I had forgotten about this other world that now I’m forced to occupy. Of course, there are things we can do to mitigate this burnout. One being to say no to some parties and some events on vacation, engage in self-care, resist FOMO, and find some sort of balance. Also, we’re trying to stay in the practice of swinging, rather than only doing so once in a blue moon. That way it comes easier and doesn’t feel like such a big lift.

Finally, a big thing that has helped us is to keep engaging with the new friends we made on vacation. Maybe it’s just a quick message, or maybe we are making plans to visit their city. For whatever reason, remembering they exist and staying connected to them helps me feel more connected to that other, better world I occupied on vacation.

Maybe you don’t want to do the things you used to do. Well, is it okay if you don’t do those things right now? Personally, I found microwave meals to be a fine shortcut while I recovered. What can you do to love on yourself while you recover?

Most important, I think, is to give yourself grace when you come back. Lower your expectations of yourself for a little while. Maybe you don’t feel like yourself. Well, you aren’t, the vacation may have changed you.

Honey

Good luck, and thanks for co-creating this other, better world with me.

https://honeyahh.com/

Lifestyle Opinions

Does a Threesome make you Non-Monogamous?

My Hot Take.

I learned that the number one sexual fantasy for Americans is multiple partner sex, or more commonly, threesomes. That's not surprising. For years, long before we were swingers, every time I asked my husband what he wanted for Christmas or his birthday, his answer was the same: a threesome. Instead, I gave him office chairs, GoPros, and anything Arnold Schwarzenegger. I might have been open to a threesome with the latter, but I wasn't able to arrange it.

By: Lauren Hayes Swinging Lifestyle Coach

Anyway, here's my hot take, even within my own community of coaches and therapists. Having sex with other people doesn't automatically make you nonmonogamous.

What!? 43

Some would say yes: by definition, having sex with others makes a couple nonmonogamous. I say… it depends.

Identity vs. Appetite ENM isn't just a behavior. It's an orientation, an identity, a way of structuring relationships. It comes with intentionality, communication, and a whole set of agreements about how you and your partner(s) want to show up for each other. A threesome? That's an experience. A really exciting one, sure, but an experience. This experience should absolutely come with intentionality, communication, and a set of agreements about how you want the night to go. But do you have to flip a switch the next morning on your relationship and label it something different? No. I have friends who describe their marriage exactly this way: "We have an open bedroom, not an open relationship." A few times a year, they invite a third into their sex life. They are monogamous in every other sense; emotionally, romantically, socially. They don't identify as ENM. They identify as a married couple who occasionally has really fun sex.

Are they non-monogamous? I think they are having sexual adventure and that's a perfectly legitimate, perfectly conscious choice. On my podcast, The Examined Lives, Ben brought up a term that floats around in the community — "monogamous in the lifestyle." These are people who are fully embedded in the swinger world (often referred to as The Lifestyle). They go to the parties, they know the culture, they have the communication skills, they understand the etiquette. They just don't play with others. They have claimed the identity and the community without the sexual non-exclusivity. Same world, different choice.

Lifestyle Opinions

I believe there is a difference between being ethically non-monogamous (ENM) and simply wanting sexual adventure. Most certainly, I want your threesome to be ethical - everyone knows about it and everyone is enthusiastically consenting but if a couple has a threesome, or two, or three over the course of their marriage, does that make them non-monogamous?

A question I get asked, then, is: okay, but where's the line? My honest answer: there isn't one. Not a clean one, anyway. Is a couple who plays once a year non-monogamous? What about twice? What if they only play with one other couple they've known for years? What if they go to a lifestyle resort once a year? I don't think frequency or number of partners is where the line lives. I think identity is. A couple who has a threesome once a year and considers it a rare, intentional sexual adventure is different from a couple who has a threesome once a year and considers themselves “in the lifestyle.” Same behavior. Completely different identity. You get to decide what you are. No one else gets to count your experiences and hand you a label.

Lifestyle Opinions

The reason people in the lifestyle tend to have better experiences - even firsttimers (who have done a little research) is because they've built the communication muscles. They know how to talk about desire, discomfort, and everything in between. If you want a threesome to go well, borrow the playbook. You don't have to join the team.

and for the love of god... You Still Need the enm skillset I'll push back on anyone who thinks "we're not ENM" means "we can skip the hard conversations." You can't. All of the communication, the intentionsetting, the explicit agreements everything that makes ethical nonmonogamy ethical - has to be present even if you never adopt the label. How are we finding this person? What are our agreements around safer sex? What happens if one of us feels uncomfortable? What do we talk about afterward, and what do we keep private? What are we not okay with? These aren't ENM questions. These are necessary questions that come up the moment you add another person to your sexual dynamic.

Stop trying to pick someone up at a vanilla bar. I cringe every time I hear this strategy - not because it never works, but because it's so much messier than it needs to be. The misread signals, the social awkwardness, the unclear expectations on all sides. Does it sometimes work out? Yes. Is it riskier and way less likely to give you what you're actually hoping for? Also yes. Leverage instead.

the

swinger

community

I know that might feel like a big leap if you don't identify as swingers, but here's what the lifestyle is actually full of: people who are also looking for sexual adventure, who understand consent and communication, and who, critically, are not looking for a relationship. Yes, there's warmth. Yes, there's friendship. Yes, when people are going to be intimate, even for a night, there should be mutual care and respect, but there are no entanglements, no expectations, no strings. The lifestyle has a whole culture built around exactly what you're looking for. Your first experience - or your next one will almost certainly be better with people who already know how to do this well.

Yes, but probably not in the way you'd expect. It's rarely about feelings or unexpected emotional entanglements. Honestly, if you're engaging within the lifestyle community, where intentions are spoken clearly before anything happens, that kind of complication is pretty unlikely. People in this space understand the assignment. The gateway is simpler than that and perhaps more interesting. You do it, and it's fun. You realize it can be done in a healthy, connected, respectful way. Then you start wondering: could we do this again? More often? You start to understand the appeal of meeting other couples, not just singles. The world of the lifestyle starts making sense in a way it didn't before. Not because you've been swept into something, but because you've experienced firsthand that it works. Can threesomes also be a gateway to polyamory? Of course. You have the experience, you enjoy it, and one or both of you recognizes a pull toward something deeper; a lasting connection, not just a sexual one. You start to see that intimacy with someone outside your relationship doesn't have to threaten it. It can actually strengthen it.

Lifestyle Opinions

Can a threesome be a gateway into enm?

In my experience, the more common path is from threesomes into the lifestyle - meeting couples, exploring the swinger community and finding your people, but I'll own that bias. That's my world, and that's who I tend to work with. There's also a dynamic worth naming: a lot of poly people believe that swinging is the gateway to polyamory. Honestly? Yes and no. Some people do migrate from the lifestyle into poly. Many don't and in fact, from my observations, most don't. So if you're holding back from exploring a threesome because you're afraid of the slippery slope, i.e. afraid that one experience leads to another leads to another and suddenly you're polyamorous with a Google calendar full of partners - I want to offer you some relief. There are gateways. There is no slippery slope. Everyone practicing ENM, or sexual adventure, finds the version that actually works for them. The threesome couple who plays a few times a year and calls it good. The lifestyle couple who loves meeting other couples and has zero interest in deeper entanglement. The pair who discovers they want more connection and leans into poly. All of it is valid. None of it is inevitable. You get to decide where the door leads or if you want to open it further.

You don't have to adopt an identity to explore your desires. Sexual adventure is its own valid category and one that doesn't require a label, a manifesto, or a complete restructuring of your relationship.

Lifestyle Opinions

The bottom line

But do the work ENM people do. Have the conversations. Make the agreements. Borrow the skills even if you don't borrow the identity. If a threesome is on the table, find a community that already speaks the language. The adventure is waiting. You might as well enjoy it with people who know what they're doing.

Read More From Lauren and Follow Her Socials: https://www.swinginglifestylecoach.com/ https://www.facebook.com/SwingingLifestyleCoach/ https://www.instagram.com/swinginglifestylecoach/

ALT LIFE

By TnGalNicole

Lifestyle Definitions

Defining

Lifestyle Events

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