Marriage/Marriage Prep Intro Guide

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The courses were created by Nicky and Sila Lee, co-authors of The Marriage Book and The Parenting Book. The Marriage Course and The Marriage Preparation Course are now run in thousands of venues around the world and have been translated into many different languages.

The Marriage Course The aim of The Marriage Course is to help couples grow closer and build a healthy relationship that will last a lifetime.

Over seven sessions, the couples learn practical tools to help them invest time in their marriage, heal ways they’ve hurt each other, discover how their partner feels loved, and much, much more.

Talk Topics: Session 1 – Building Strong Foundations Session 2 – The Art of Communication Session 3 – Resolving Conflict Session 4 – The Power of Forgiveness Session 5 – The Impact of Family – Past & Present Session 6 – Good Sex Session 7 – Love in Action The DVDs also include a session for The Marriage Course Party—a chance for potential guests to find out more about the course—and an extra session mainly for couples in the military, called Coping with Times of Separation.

The Marriage Preparation Course The aim of The Marriage Preparation Course is to give engaged couples the practical tools they need to build a strong and lasting marriage.

Over five sessions, the couples learn how to invest in their relationship, develop shared goals and values, and keep love growing throughout a marriage.

Talk Topics: Session 1 – Communication Session 2 – Commitment Session 3 – Resolving Conflict Session 4 – Keeping Love Alive Session 5 – Shared Goals and Values FOCCUS Questionnaire The course can effectively be combined with the use of a questionnaire designed for engaged couples like FOCCUS. Each couple completes the research-based questionnaire before the course and then meets up with a married support couple to go through the results. The questionnaire helps couples recognize issues they need to discuss prior to getting married.

How the sessions run Each session takes about two-and-a-half hours to run including the meal, the talk, and time for couples to complete exercises and discuss relevant issues, while being served tea and coffee.

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Fantastic atmosphere – It’s not just a course—it’s an experience. Whether run in a home or a larger venue, the idea is to make the experience as welcoming as possible. Good music and subtle lighting help to create the right atmosphere.

Romantic meal – Serving a meal

allows couples to relax and chat with each other before the talk starts.

Practical talks – Nicky and Sila share from their own experiences of over thirty years of marriage, demonstrating how important the practical tools have been to their own relationship. They talk about the difference their Christian faith has made to their marriage but in a way that is not offputting for those who are not churchgoers or do not have a Christian faith. The course can be run using DVDs of Nicky and Sila’s talks, or you can present the talks live, using the transcripts provided on the Leaders’ Toolkit (for The Marriage Course) or separate CDRom (for The Marriage Preparation Course).

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DVD clips – The talks are interspersed with filmed clips of couples talking about their experiences of marriage and street interviews from around the world.

Discussion times – Sessions include breaks to give each couple time to discuss the topic that has been presented. Every guest is given a manual with exercises and questions for these discussion times.

No group work – There is NO group

work and no one is expected to share anything with anyone other than their partner. The tables are spaced far enough apart and background music is played so couples can’t be overheard.

It is a formula that works – Thousands of couples around the world have done the courses. As a result, many relationships have been strengthened and, in some cases, marriages saved. Courses continue to grow because couples tell their friends how it helped them!

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Who are While the courses are based on Christian principles, they are designed for all couples with or without a Christian faith.

The Marriage Course is for: • any married or cohabiting couple • couples who have been together for one year or as many as sixty-one years • those in a strong relationship and those who are struggling

The Marriage Preparation Course is for: • any couple who is engaged or considering marriage • couples where one or both partners have been married before • couples who are currently cohabiting, as well as those who are not

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Why run Marriage rates are at an all-time low and around 40% of marriages end in divorce.

The average couple spends approximately 250 hours planning their wedding, yet very little—if any—time planning for a successful marriage.

Running The Marriage Course or The Marriage Preparation Course can help: • strengthen marriages in your community • reach people who don’t already attend church

I run You don’t need to have a perfect marriage and you don’t need to be an expert, but leaders should be a couple who have: • a desire to see marriages strengthened • experience of working at their own marriage • a desire to host couples

Resources required:

The Marriage Course • 1 course DVD • The Marriage Course Leaders’ Toolkit DVD • Guest manuals (2 per couple) ces Resour from le b a avail lpha.org www.a

The Marriage Preparation Course • 1 course DVD • The Marriage Preparation Course Leaders’ Toolkit DVD (includes training on FOCCUS) • 1 Leaders’ and Support Couples’ Guide • Guest manuals (2 per couple)

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do I Attend The Marriage Course yourselves. Visit themarriagecourseusa.org to find your nearest course. If there isn’t one near you, do the course in a home with two or three other couples using the DVDs. Attend The Marriage Conference and/or watch the “Leaders’ Training” on the Leaders’ Toolkit DVD for the relevant course (visit alpha.org for details).

Marriage Preparation Course Leaders only: Watch the training on The Marriage Preparation Course Leaders’ Toolkit DVD for how to use the FOCCUS questionnaire and register with FOCCUS if you plan to use the questionnaire as part of the course.

Make sure you have the support of your church leaders and congregation. Build a team of volunteers to help you. If the course is large you may need people to help with setting up, cooking, serving, and clearing.

Marriage Preparation Course Leaders only: If using the FOCCUS questionnaire, recruit support couples and train them using The Marriage Preparation Course Leaders’ Toolkit.

Find a suitable venue. This may be a home if your course is small, or you may need a larger venue—perhaps a church, a community hall, a hotel, a café after hours—anywhere that you can serve a meal and create a great atmosphere.

Purchase the necessary products at alpharesources.org Find a counselor in your area to whom you can refer couples if they need additional help.

Decide what to charge your guests based on the cost of the food, manuals, and venue.

Set a date and advertise your course—the Leaders’ Toolkit for each course contains a section on ideas for promoting the course.

Register your course online at themarriagecourseusa.org.

This will allow us to put you in touch with couples looking for a course in your area.

Contact your local Marriage Course Advisors. These are couples with experience of running the course who help other leaders with advice and support. Their details are on the website.

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RELIGION / Christian Life / Love & Marriage ISBN ISBN:978-1-934564-70-7 978-1934564707 102730

themarriagecourseusa.org In Canada: themarriagecourse.ca order product: davidccook.ca

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