11 minute read
SHE SAID: DR. DARYL APPLETON
DR. DARYL APPLETON, M. ED, CAGS, LMHC, ED.D. Gamma Zeta–University of Memphis
Dr. Daryl Appleton is a modern-day pioneer in wellness who is forging her path with a lifelong spirit of sisterhood. She is reshaping corporate and individual approaches to high performance and well-being in her career. She has been called a “real-world Wendy Rhoades,” a reference to the fictional character on the TV show “Billions.” But Dr. Daryl is as real as it gets. She is a consultant, advisor and in-house coach to Fortune 500 executives, Ivy League surgical programs, thought leaders, specialists and professional athletes worldwide, and her firm is renowned for its exclusive clientele.
Earlier this year, Vogue recognized her podcast, “Feelings and Other F Words,” as a leading mental health podcast in the top five percent globally. This spring, she was featured in ELLE magazine’s Modern Wellness Guide, where she discussed the importance of rethinking success and prioritizing mindful practices. She emphasized how real power comes from self-awareness, setting boundaries, and enjoying the journey, not just grinding endlessly. She advocates for “success without sacrifice,” challenging the prevailing hustle culture.
Find out how this alumna found her Alpha Gam community and how you can expand yours.
TELL US ABOUT YOUR PATH TO ALUMNAE INITIATION:
I had a friend in Rhode Island who was connected to Alpha Gam, and she spoke so highly about the organization and brought me into the fold for International Convention in 2018. I went to college in the Northeast, and we didn’t have Greek life at my school. I played basketball in college and was always drawn to sisterhood and connection to a shared goal. Over several years of working with Alpha Gam, I got to know the women on staff and collegiate and alumnae members. I was taken by how smart, professional and wonderful everyone I met was. There was something incredibly energetic about being around this group of women. Seeing everyone’s dedication to Alpha Gam made me want to be part of something bigger than myself.
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO FIND YOUR COMMUNITY?
As women, we need community; it’s not a matter of how or when you do it; it’s a matter of just finding one somewhere. You can see it in research and practice psychologically, anthropologically, and evolutionarily; we need community more than we think. It’s so important. I think part of it is that women tend to carry so much alone, and we need to unload to someone somewhere; we also need to grow and be challenged and supported by people who may not always “get it,” but at least seek to understand. I was lucky to have that in athletics, and I’m even more fortunate to have it professionally, personally and socially now through my Alpha Gam sisters.
YOU WERE RECENTLY QUOTED IN ELLE MAGAZINE AND FEATURED BY FORBES, TODAY, HUFFPOST, FOX NEWS AND THE NEW YORK POST. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO HAVE YOUR MESSAGE REACH A NATIONAL AUDIENCE?
It’s a little dreamlike! I am incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to have such a wide reach. I have realized that I am who I am, whether I’m sitting in front of you or being quoted in a magazine, so I tend to make a point not to filter things and say what is on my mind. I am honestly just grateful anyone wants to hear anything that comes out of my mouth.
WHAT MAKES WELLNESS MORE THAN JUST A HOT TOPIC?
We are all in a place where everyone craves a better, smarter way to process and feel, and what I have come to realize is everyone has slightly different ideas about what wellness means to them. I think wellness needs to be operationally defined. For me, wellness and well-being are not about “making life easier.” It’s not about microdosing wellness in the creams you use, the yoga classes you go to or the walks you take. For me, wellness is truly understanding that in a moment of chaos, you have a choice, and a skill set you can use to navigate difficult times. That’s true well-being because if you can do that, you can push yourself to a path of peace, which I think is something we all strive for.
I am so glad that we are starting to get away from toxic positivity, where we pretend everything’s fine, and we’re replacing it with statements like, “This is hard, and I am tough. I can do hard things. Here’s my plan to move forward.” That’s what I try to bring to people: well-being as a lifestyle beyond the purchases you make and how you move your body, but truly a mindset in which you live your life.
WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PROMOTING HEALTH AND WELLNESS RELATED TO SISTERHOOD?
I love the idea of women taking control of their lives in any capacity. Promoting well-being to groups of any kind is unbelievably valuable. Sometimes, I see resistance, or snags, in groups because everyone needs something different. There is a saying in therapy that “you can only be as healthy as the unhealthiest person in the relationship,” which is why we sometimes see issues in chapters or friend groups. People need to hear that well-being isn’t just a spa day but also things like conflict resolution skills. I want sisters to lean into things that make them grow, which is different than making them feel comfortable. Comfortable can often get misconstrued with well-being and wellness. Sometimes, doing something that is the healthiest for you or your sisters is not easy, and it’s not comfortable; it’s getting outside your comfort zone to get to a place of evolution.
YOU’VE PRESENTED KEYNOTES FOR ALPHA GAM AND WORKED WITH INDIVIDUAL CHAPTERS. WHAT HAS MADE THOSE INTERACTIONS MOST MEANINGFUL?
It’s always wonderful how well-prepared Alpha Gams are when they attend meetings and events. I’m truly in awe of the thoughtfulness, interest and intrigue our women bring. Alpha Gam women are special because they’re high performers, and it speaks very much to my own high-performing nature because I see a lot of myself in them. It’s nice to be able to speak directly to that and help people navigate difficult times or times of growth in a way that’s strategic and has action. I LOVE working with Alpha Gams. Every interaction I have always leaves me looking forward to the next time we are together.
YOU GIVE BACK AS A VOLUNTEER, YOU HAVE A CAREER AND YOU HAVE A FAMILY. HOW DO YOU FIND BALANCE?
I think I have learned that there’s no such thing as balance. If my goal is a balanced lifestyle, I will never get there. For me, it’s about alignment. I need alignment in my life to help remind me what brings joy or aligns with my mission, values and who I am, even when things are tough. I have four-year-old twins, so I constantly shift priorities and realign them as they relate to my work and life. I am slowly realizing I can do anything, but I cannot do everything, especially not at the same time. Ultimately, I see that alignment is not only important; it’s a system that I can use to help me do all the things I love in a more productive way. It’s taken me years and years and years to know how to do that, but the first step is understanding you don’t need a life in perfect harmony or perfect balance; it just needs to be aligned.
WHAT’S A LESSON YOU’VE LEARNED AS A MOM OF TWINS?
If you think you have extra clothes in the car, you don’t. Check your diaper bag right now and change out the clothes that don’t fit because you will need them. I’ve learned not every strategy works, and that’s okay. After having kids, I have become a very strategic person, a very planned person. I’ve learned sometimes it’s okay for things to be messy. It’s okay for things not to go as planned. It’s okay not to answer the phone call; it’s okay for them to wear mismatched shoes. I think being very focused on, and this sounds very corny, but I’ll stand by it, being very focused on the small moments with them has been humbling for me. They’ve taken me to a place where I have had to slow down, and I’ve learned a lot about myself, and I still don’t know it all. Currently, I am truly trying to navigate my own “mom guilt” and ways to honor and be present in all the hats I wear and to make space for myself.
WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY LISTENING TO OR READING?
The Gilded Newport Mysteries series by Alyssa Maxwell. I live right outside Newport, Rhode Island, one of the most beautiful places. I’m a huge history buff, so I’m very into the Gilded Age, the history and industry, and how it shaped America. The series covers a murder at each of the mansions and goes to the history of the people living there, the Vanderbilts and JPMorgan, etc. It’s fun, and it’s nice escapism.
On the professional side of things, I bought “The Laws of Human Nature” by Robert Greene because I thought I would read it before I had the girls. I’m a big Robert Green fan. He’s very into stoicism. I’m still getting through the nearly 700 pages, so if you get it, you don’t need to read it all at once. I try to keep something academic and something non-academic, and I try not to pressure myself to read everything all the way through and make time to read different things that speak to the different sides of my brain.
WHAT’S A FAVORITE INDULGENCE OR PASTIME?
Before I had children, I enjoyed sleeping. Not seeing 6 a.m. was a beautiful thing. I also love to travel. We just returned from a trip to London and Italy with the girls, which was wonderful (and at times very stressful with two then three-year-olds, but worth every second). I love traveling, seeing new things, and visiting new museums and places.
I also miss being able to get up and go without having major plans! For those without kids, take the flight, get in the car, book the trip! For those with grown kids, take the flight, get in the car, book the trip. Saying it out loud is inspiring me to take my own advice!
BADGE STYLE:
Gold Plain Badge with Tiffany Pearl, displayed as a pendant with the pierced Badge charm.
PEARLS OF WISDOM:
Sisterhood matters at every stage. The research around female feelings of loneliness and women needing community is staggering. My advice? Lean into your relationships, make new friendships, and put yourself out there. This is one of the main reasons we started the Alpha Gam Alumnae Circle. We wanted Alpha Gam women to have a hub to connect in meaningful ways. We wanted to create a virtual community to help our women network and find mentors, share wins, get advice, dive into personal and professional development and everything in between.
I have found that the Alpha Gam community is rich with women from all different walks of life, different industries, and different specialties who have done amazing things in their careers and in their lives. Tap in. Put up a post. Reach out on the chat. Ask a question. You never know where it could lead.
A great way to do that is the Alpha Gam Alumnae Circle. The community around you will change, and that’s a good thing. You’ll learn so much about so many people if you’re open and engaged. The best connections I have made professionally and personally — the people who give me the best advice have come from my community.
My involvement is a wonderful opportunity to get to know people I wouldn’t have in my life if I wasn’t an Alpha Gam. It's important to stay open and stay curious — to tap into your community, even if it feels awkward or uncomfortable. Everybody is here for the same thing—sisterhood and being an Alpha Gam lives through all of us in some way. I find it to be almost like, “Take a penny, leave a penny.” If it doesn’t apply, you don’t need it, but you might find something, or you might be able to leave your own pearl of wisdom.
— Dr. Daryl Appleton
