Homeroom Humor

As a seventh grade reading teacher, I was conferring with students about their book projects. One girl came up for extra help and looked at the family pictures I had on my desk protector. She said, “Miss Lauria, I like the pictures of your family on your bladder.” I swallowed a laugh as I looked at the blotter on my desk and held my guffaw until closing the door after class.

IT’S TRUE I was working at my computer early one morning. It was positioned facing a window. It was still dark outside, and I could see the classroom reflected in the window. One mischievous boy took pride in being first into the classroom each morning. I could see him tiptoe into the classroom and sneak up behind me to startle me. I kept typing without looking up and said, “Good morning, Jimmy. You’d better have a seat and get busy.” His eyes got as big as saucers as he exclaimed, “Mrs. Johnson, you really do have eyes in the back of your head.” Elaine Chisolm Johnson, GA Fidelis Lambda

The Price of Pizza

My fourth grade Title I reading group had earned enough points for a pizza party. I ordered the pizzas and my husband delivered them. I met him in the parking lot with several students who helped me bring everything in. I gave my husband a hug and a kiss and thanked him for helping us out. As we were walking back to the classroom, one of the students exclaimed, “Gee, Mrs. Ingham, you kissed the pizza man and didn’t even pay him!”

Judy Ingham, NV Delta

What Did You Say?

Collin was an easily distracted child. I watched his eyes skip around the room during a small group reading lesson. My colleague Aggie was reading a basketball story, explaining to the group that the author slowed down the action in order for the reader to imagine the ball spinning around and around and around the metal rim, each person in the crowd sitting on the edge of their seat, anxiously hoping, waiting to see if the ball would fall into the hoop or not. After reading the story segment, Aggie asked what the author had done to keep the reader’s interest. Children raised their hands and offered their ideas of what had made the story so riveting. When Aggie called on Collin, he was in another world. “Collin, do I need to repeat the question? What strategy did the author use to hold the reader’s attention?” Perplexed, Collin came to life and said, “What? Huh? I don’t know; I’m still trying to figure out what’s a hoopernaut.” Sue Pelchat, CT Mu

Charlene Lauria, International

Pronouns Are Important When my nephew was three, I helped out in his preschool classroom when needed. The call for help came on picture day. ”I’d love to,” I said. The first little guy came up with lips pressed together in a scowl. He had no interest in having his picture taken at all. This was going to be a greater challenge than I had thought. Next came a little girl dressed like a princess for her first school photo. She sat in the chair as I directed and looked straight at the photographer, smiling, bouncing, and cocking her head left and right like a commercial model. “My,” the photographer noticed, “she’s quite the little ham.” The princess straightened her royal back and corrected him curtly, “I’m not a ham; I’m a HER.”Charlene Lauria, International Chapter

How to Make a PB&J Sandwich

In a writing lesson with my fifth grade class, I was teaching about order and sequence. Students had already practiced writing a recipe and understood how important it was to include every step of the procedure. I asked them to write directions for making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and told them we would act out their directions in class the next day. Of course, many steps were left out, opening the jar, how to spread it, forgetting to put the bread slices together.

I selected a few students whose directions we’d follow in a live performance. Well, correcting ‘not opening the cover’ was easy; however, leaving out what to spread the peanut butter on was a bigger problem. Instead of pretending there was bread on which to spread, I put the peanut butter up the child’s arm. The boys were more accepting than girls. The class went wild! When they didn’t explain HOW to put the bread together I put their hands together, one with PB and the other with jelly. By the third demonstration, most students wanted to act out their own written directions. It wasn’t necessary; the point had been made. For homework they got to rewrite their directions. The news ‘spread’ around the school like wildfire. It was a hit and hilarious and a very good lesson about steps in a procedure. Denise Coolley, CT Gamma