Learning Session: Pathways to Well-Being

Learning Session

Pathways to Well-Being

Recently, a friend stated that his teaching career was indelibly marked by his experiences with students during the pandemic. He says his 25 years before COVID are very different from March 2020 to now and going forward. Things have been different as they have been for all of us. Not being able to see many people in person is probably the biggest difference, which has a tremendous impact on how we feel about ourselves and others every day.

Dr. Bertice Berry, the inspirational speaker at our recent A∆K Convention, shares her thoughts in a video blog about self-care (www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wqEZJvAYjk). She reminds us that we should all practice self-care on a regular basis so when things get tough, we’ve got reserves to help us stay balanced. In our book, “Pathways to WellBeing: Helping Educators (and Others) Find Balance in a Connected World,” my co-author, Susan Brooks-Young, and I delved into research with regards to happiness and well-being. We found six topics consistently cited as offering ways to move towards balance and increase joy.

Gratitude. The benefits of expressing gratitude positively affect physical, mental and social health. Bringing awareness to whom and what I’m grateful for helps me keep what’s happening around me in perspective. One simple practice is to write a physical thank you note to anyone, living or dead, who has done something for which you are grateful. If possible, it’s ideal to hand deliver the thank you note, but sending it through the mail is just fine. Another idea is to keep a Gratitude Jar on your desk. On a small piece of paper, write one thing you’re thankful for that happened that day, and put it into the jar. Then review those pieces of paper on days that are challenging.

Being Positive. Positive psychology promotes the idea of being positive yet realistic. It’s not the idea that everything and everyone will always be positive. We can, however, choose to respond to situations in a positive way, for example, “What can I learn from this?” Or, we could respond negatively, for example, “Since this occurred, nothing else will go right all day.” Let’s consider our COVID experiences. While it might still be inconvenient to wear a mask and keep socially distant, there are people I’ve met through zoom sessions whom I would never have had the opportunity to meet or get to know otherwise. Several of them have become friends and I’ve gotten to hear storytellers from many countries, including Hungary, Australia, Indonesia and India. One of our suggested activities is to “accentuate the positive” and eschew negative people and situations. You can write down two or three positive experiences each day and after even a few weeks, reflect on the good things that have happened in your life. Another idea is to watch your self-talk, and make sure you are speaking to yourself as you would a good friend. Getting Focused. Some of us are list makers. Being able to check off items on my To Do list is satisfying. Making a list also helps remind me of my commitments for the day. To help us get focused, Dr. Berry has suggested regular meditation and breathing exercises. In our conference presentation, Susan and I shared two images that can be placed on either side of a card—a flower and a candle. I keep such a card in my desk so that any time during the day when I want to get focused, I look at the rose and take a deep breath as if I’m smelling it, then I hold my breath as I turn the card over and exhale to blow out the candle. Doing that process a couple of times changes how I was feeling moments before.

Empathy. Empathy lies at the core of what it means to be human. When we try to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, we can make important connections. All too often, the assumptions we make about another person’s words or behavior would be changed if we understood their ideas or motives. Do you remember the Telephone Game? One person whispers something to another person who repeats what she heard to the next person and so on around a circle. It’s usually fascinating to learn what the last person heard. That message is often totally different from what was originally said. I just learned of a Native American group that uses this technique to teach their children about good listening. The story will be corrected at the end of the first round and then go around again and again until every child can say it accurately. How wonderful it would be if we all took the time to make sure we had heard something accurately and understood the intent as well.

Kindness. Henry James said, “Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind: the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.” Being kind to yourself often promotes being kind to others, both of which lead to well-being. Small gestures such as smiling at others can lift spirits. Even wearing masks, we can tell when another is smiling at us. Go ahead and find those short videos or silly jokes that make you laugh as well. Good hearty laughter manifests as kindness to yourself. It can also be infectious and spread joy to others.

Movement. We all know it’s important to move every day. Making movement a habit increases well-being and the ability to stay flexible and healthy. Whether you visit a gym, walk every day with a buddy, take time to participate in on-line or video classes, or some other physical activity, it is important to “just do it.”

As we reflect on the past year and a half in terms of our own well-being, let’s consider the positive aspects and think about ways to make what’s ahead more life-affirming and enriching for ourselves and others.

Article by Sara Armstrong, PhD, CA Alpha Alpha. Portions of this article were presented by Dr. Armstrong at the recent International Convention Educational Symposium.