The Almeria Focus – September 2023

Almería Focus

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Cooler Days on the Way?

Atthe time of going to press there is no stable government in power following the July General Elections in Spain, and we comment on this in an article.

Whilst July in the UK was one of the wettest on record, in Spain in general and certainly in our area, average temperatures during July and August were much higher than normal, particularly in inland municipalities. Experts are predicting a change in tourism if very high temperatures continue and we feature these conclusions in an article.

Total tourist figures for August are not yet available, but up to the middle of August, numbers in Andalucía (that includes Almeria province) were higher than 2022, particularly international visitors. 15% more tourist from this sector have come here so far compared to last year, and the average daily amount they spend is 76 euros, up 8 euros on the record spending in 2019. The Andalucía Minister for Tourism states that tourism in Andalucía now extends from April to November, so this is good news without such a pronounced “low season”. Numbers from the UK and Germany are both up by 18%, and tourists from Nordic countries make up a large number. As regards Spanish tourists, Laújar de Andarax in Sierra Nevada is the 7th most popular place in Spain that offers walks and trails in a rural location, not the traditional sun and sea holidays.

Fortunately, in our province there have been no major fires, and ‘Infoca’ the fire prevention and fire-fighting organisation are congratulating inhabitants on being very aware of the dangers. Agricultural fires often come from illegal burning of waste that was the cause of the fire in Turre earlier in the year, and agriculture workers have to take special care. Infoca have 470 operatives, 15 heavy duty vehicles and four fixed-wing aircraft. When needed, the UME (an arm of the Spanish military who solely respond to any emergencies) can be called in to help. Up to the middle of

August Infoca had dealt with 67 fires, but 54 of them were very minor ones. Other causes of fires are lightning strikes and faults in overhead electricity supplies. The bans on burning waste, the prohibition of motor vehicles in forest areas, and the closure of public barbecue sites continues until October 15th. Infoca operate from their main headquarters in Serón, Alhama de Almería and Vélez Blanco.

‘Cosentino’ the multi-national company based in Cantoria recently opened their “Social centre” at the Macenas complex in Mojácar that they bought last year. It is a revamped facility centred round the pool, and the company intend to invest 200 million euros. Plans include a hotel, a “wellness centre” (both of them operational in 2026), and the reopening of the golf course designed to turn the complex into the “Macenas Mediterranean Resort”. We have further details in our “Community News” section.

Work on the new road at Huércal-Overa that takes vehicles directly to the hospital was 99% completed in August, but a large ‘Endesa’ electricity pylon has to be re-sited. It is hoped that the road will be open sometime this month.

There are no major national fiesta dates in September and October when official offices, banks and many businesses shut, but there are local fiestas in Alfaix, Cantoria, Pulpí and Vera during September. Mojácar and Turre have a fiesta in October along with Albox and Huércal-Overa.

In the News

Good Growth & Inflation Figures

The International Monetary Fund (IMF) have substantially raised their growth figures for Spain this year, which has now gone up to 2.5%, although the 2024 projection is still 2%. This puts Spain top of the predictions for other EU states and the Eurozone in general. Tourism and economic growth in the service industry are given as the key factors in increasing growth. The Gross Domestic Product for Germany (GDP) this year has been put down to 0.3% and 1.3% next year, growth for France is put at 0.8% this year and 1.3% next year and the average growth in the Eurozone is given as 0.9% this year and 1.5 next year. The IMF also congratulated Spain in dealing with inflation with the “core rate” of 6.2% at the end of July (very slightly up put down partly to tourist packages and pre-holiday spending), without the increases in the cost of food, electricity and gas. Again, the inflation rate is much better than in other states and the lowest apart from Luxemburg. Employment figures in Spain to the end of July were also record numbers. Just under 21 million people were paying into the Social Security Department and unemployment was a record 15 year low of 10.8%, although this is higher than most other EU states, partly because of temporary employment contracts. Unfortunately, the Central European Bank raised the interest rate to 4.25% at the end of July, with another rise likely in September. This applies to the whole of the Eurozone and the Bank of Spain have to adopt this and cannot alter it. The Spanish stock exchange reacted favourably to the half-yearly figures and went up by 10% in July.

A Drunk Consultant

Sometimes, a patient going to accident and emergency departments in Spain may be over the alcohol limit. Recently, a mother took her young daughter with a hand injury to the accident and emergency department at the Poniente hospital in El Ejido, in the early hours of a Saturday morning. She considered that the consultant paediatrician who came to see her child smelt of alcohol, was drunk, had difficulty standing up and was also abusive. She abandoned the consultation and

phoned the Policía Local who came to the hospital. Regrettably, her claims proved to be the case and a blood sample proved he was well over the limit. He was promptly suspended from seeing any more patients and another consultant dealt with the child. The mother was invited to go back to the hospital on the Monday and she was given a personal apology by the hospital director. He stated that a review had been made of all the doctor’s patients whilst he was on duty, and in no case was there any cause for alarm that the diagnosis and treatment was below standard or wrong, and their disciplinary code of action had been activated. A spokesperson for the Junta de Andalucía Health Department said that they were aware of the case which was unforgivable, but it was being dealt with locally. Because this was such a unique occurrence it featured in the main Spanish daily newspapers, despite very comprehensive publicity regarding the General Elections.

More Electric Vehicle Charging Points

The EU is committed to lower emissions in 2030 to 55% of the 1990 figures and electric vehicles will have to replace petrol and diesel ones. To achieve this, the EU has published plans for member states that relate to key roads, known as the RTE-T core network. In Spain this includes motorways from France to Algeciras down the Mediterranean coast or inland. The target is charging points of 400kW every 60 kms by 2026, and 600kW by 2028. Charging points for lorries and coaches have to be every 120km with 1,400kW increased to 2,800kW by 2028. Clients using the charging points will be able to pay with a credit card, and the charge will be for the power used, or minutes on charge. This will require a very large increase in electrical power and it is assumed that the EU will supply some funding.

Bank Profits

In another news item we comment on the large amounts of money that Spanish banks are holding, far more than is required by financial regulations from the Bank of Spain and the Central European Bank. Banco Santander accounts up to the end of June revealed that they had made their largest

In the News

profit ever, that was 5.24 billion euros, 7% more than last year. They had to pay out 224 million euros in January from the windfall tax of 5% on interest and commissions imposed by the Spanish government for 2022 and 2023, and without this their increase in profit would have been 9.5%. Their net interest income had also gone up to 14% with 20.9 billion euros, and commissions were up 6% to 6.1 billion. (The amount in Spain that is subject to the 5% tax this year, in the first six months, came to 4.6 billion euros). The accounts are worldwide, and the bank has a big presence in Brazil, Mexico and the UK, but 73% of increased profit came from within Spain. The demand for mortgages has not suffered too much and the bank gained 365,000 new customers within Spain in the first six months of this year. Sabadell had record figures from January-June and declared a profit of 564 million euros, 43% better than in 2022, and gross income went up by 24% to 1.33 billion euros. Sabadell own TSB in the UK and their profit zoomed up to 106 million euros. The BBVA bank recorded record profits of 3.8 billion euros, 31% up from 2022 and this took into account the 225 million they had to pay for the windfall tax. 50% of profits came from their banks in Mexico and 10% from Turkey. CaixaBank (16% state owned after the financial bailout) had profits of 2.14 billion euros up 36% on 2022.

Torrecárdenas Hospital Car Park

A permanent solution to the car parking problem at the Torrecárdenas hospital in Almería city has been announced. Alongside there will be a sixstorey car park (the highest that is allowed) with room for 2,000 cars on a 10,000m2 plot. Plans include a modern café, restaurant and a toy library. The existing cafe has been shut since midpandemic time but it is hoped it will re-open in September. The project will cost 19.5 million euros paid for by the company that wins the bid, that will then be given a 40-year concession to collect parking fees, but employees will have discounts. The contract will be awarded “within months” with a build time of 18-24 months, so a completion date in 2025. At present, staff and visitors can use the Torrecárdenas shopping centre car park with a

shuttle bus to and from the hospital, but because of staff holidays and an expected reduced demand, it is not running until October 2nd. In October the hospital will be 40 years old, and the latest addition is the Maternity and Children’s hospital opened in 2020, that has been given permission to be called the ‘Princess Leonor Hospital’. Princess Leonor is the elder daughter of the Spanish King and Queen. A new day centre for Oncology and Out Patients is being built, and Almería University have plans for a Faculty of Medicine to be built on adjoining land.

Blank and Null Votes

In all elections in Spain, people dissatisfied with the political parties have the option of casting a “blank” vote that is an envelope put in the ballot box without any list of candidates inside it, so no vote for any political party. In the July General Elections 119,245 did this. As these count as “votes cast”, they are apportioned out in the ratio of the results for the various parties from normal votes, so they are added to the totals. If an envelope has a voting list inside it that has been defaced (by being written on) or the list of candidates has been torn up, or there is more than one list in the envelope, these “null” votes do not count and on July 23rd they totalled 260,972. Some 28.3 million people cast votes in person, through the post within Spain, or by people living outside Spain. We comment on the results in an article.

IKEA Sales

Two weeks after the IKEA Almería city store opened, 85,000 people had gone to see what was on offer. The highest sales were 6,500 coffees in their traditional restaurant that has room for 250 people including a terrace, with their famous meatballs on the menu. 3,700 people bought packs of the Spruttig thin plastic clothes hangers, that take up a lot less space than wooden ones, and 3,400 people opted for the traditional blue Frakta bags with the IKEA logo. A spokesperson for the store stated that Tuesday was the day with least visitors, so it was a good time to visit the store. One customer feedback from our area was that the store was not as big as they had hoped, and

In the News

whilst it was further to go to their Murcia store there was a better range of items there. The store in Almería claims that there are 5,000 items to choose from, which is more than 50% of everything they sell, and the remainder can be purchased via their website. During July the fire alarm went off one morning and the store was evacuated. Everybody went back in after it was established that the system was being tested and the alarm had been set off by mistake. A company spokesperson apologised for the inconvenience but stated that it proved that the system worked and also the evacuation procedure! In August they advertised for more staff for evening and night shifts to unload lorries and undertake stock control.

Help For Self-Employed Mothers

The Junta de Andalucía has announced financial help for self-employed mothers. One measure is money for an unemployed person to look after children under the age of three, and cover periods during a difficult pregnancy and after a birth during maternity leave, or following an adoption. Grants of up to 7,200 euros are available, and the total money earmarked is 587,000 euros. People eligible can submit a claim up to September 30th, unless the money has run out before then. If you are in these categories, check with the person who deals with your income tax and IVA (VAT) returns as to exactly what is available, and to make a claim.

A First Home For Young People

From mid-September, the Junta de Andalucía (the governing body for Almería province) are launching ‘Garantía Vivienda Joven’ a scheme to give young first-time buyers a big boost. Banks only lend 80% of the value of a home, but the new scheme allows for a 95% valuation. The extra 15% will be given as a grant from the Junta, so the first-time buyer only has to find 5%. Banks that will handle the new scheme are Caixabank, Cajamar, Cajasur, Ibercaja, Santander and Unicaja. There are some conditions, such as applying to first time buyers between the ages of 25 and 35, employed or self-employed, and to new or second-hand properties that cost up to 295,000 euros. To obtain the grant the

person has to be on the ‘padrón’ (the official list of inhabitants) in the same municipality where they intend to purchase a property, and be up to date with any personal taxes such as income tax, and Social Security payments. The property has to be their main home for a period of two or more years. Initially, applicants have to go to one of the banks who will handle the request. Following approval, the Junta will then be involved and have stated that the grants will be available within 30 days of the bank approval. The Junta are allocating 20 million euros to pay for the grants, and it is anticipated that 1 million young people can benefit from them.

Ryanair Forges Ahead

Along with other airlines, 2022, with the war in Ukraine, was not a good year for business at Ryanair. Their financial year is the same as the Irish tax year, so starts in April. In 2022 from April-June their profit was 170 million euros that this year has zoomed up to 663 million. A company spokesperson stated that Easter passenger numbers were very good, and also the weekend of the coronation. Passenger numbers went up 11% to 50.4 million, and average fares went up 42% to 49 euros. Nevertheless, it was intended that fares would go up again by “just less” than 10%. During July and August there was a special offer from Almería to Manchester and Stansted of 29,99 euros. Forecasts for July-September were expected to be considerably better than in 2022, but the spokesperson said that expected numbers in the third quarter (Oct-Dec) were not at all clear, and in

In the News

the last quarter (Jan-March 2024) were completely impossible to predict, although the Christmas and New Year numbers were good last year.

Carles Puigdemont New Arrest Warrant

In October 2017 an illegal and chaotic referendum for independence took place in Catalonia. On October 27th the parliament voted for independence, but had been warned that their parliament would be dissolved if they did this as it was completely illegal, central government would take over running Catalonia, and new elections would be put in place. Carles Puigdemont was the President of Catalonia and he and other politicians promptly fled Spain to avoid arrest. Puigdemont went to Brussels where he has lived since then, along with two other former MPs. The Spanish High Court has been trying to get all the ones who fled Spain extradited and face charges of sedition (treason), misuse of public funds, and disobedience of legal rulings, with European arrest warrants issued. A Belgium court declined to extradite Puigdemont along with the other MPs on the grounds that there was no similar crime of sedition in Belgium. Spain then asked the European Court to rule as to whether an EU country, signatory to international arrest and extradition proceedings could block arrest warrants from another EU member, in this case Spain. Eventually, the court ruled that Belgium had acted against agreed procedure and should not have opposed a legal extradition request from another member state where their laws took precedence. Meanwhile, Puigdemont and the other two MPs were elected to be Euro MPs for Catalonia, after protests that as fugitives from justice they shouldn’t be allowed to become Euro MPs and then claim immunity from arrest and extradition. This July 5th, the EU tribunal ruled that neither of them, now former EU MPs, had any immunity. The investigating judge in Spain has been advised by the ‘Fiscalía’ (Spanish Crown Prosecution Service) that he should reissue the international arrest and extradition warrants. The Spanish law of sedition has been revised to be one of “gross disobedience” with lower prison terms, and the new warrants will

be for this offence and misuse of public funds. If the court in Belgium agree to the arrests and extradition, there will almost certainly be various appeals, but Puigdemont and the other MPs are a lot nearer to being returned to Spain in custody. A further twist is that Puigdemont led the Junts independence party in parliament in Catalonia. As we explain in an article about the recent General Elections in Spain, the Junts party had a pivotal role in whether the PSOE party would be able to form a government. The announcement that the arrest warrants were likely to be re-issued came the day after the election results were known!

Banks Still Raking In Money

The Central European Bank fixes the amount of money that a bank has to have, to cover withdrawals, known as “liquidity”. However, Spanish banks have 71% more than they are required to have, which amounts to 274 billion euros. This is higher than the 53% excess in Germany, the 50% in Holland and 48% in France. Some EU countries have accumulated a lot more, with Portugal having an excess of 198%, Greece has 102% and Italy has 85%. This has brought the EU average up to an excess of 61%. Spanish banks have been criticised for not offering a good interest rate for deposits and savings, with Ursula von der Leyen, the EU President, being very forthright. She states bluntly that if the interest rate from your bank is very small, change banks! Spanish banks claim that whilst not offering very competitive interest rates on savings, the interest rate on loans is very good. They quote, backed up by the Central European Bank, a 4.49% average rate for loans to companies (the EU average is 4,56% with 4,65% in Germany and 4.81% in Italy). Also, the average interest rate for variable mortgages is 3.74% compared to 4.03% in the EU, whilst the fixed rate mortgage interest average is 3.04% compared to 3.13% in the EU. Spanish banks are trying to persuade people with spare money to invest it in funds, pension plans and treasury bonds rather than deposit accounts with a good interest rate. Financial analysts point out that banks in Portugal and Italy (both in the EU) offer a 4% interest rate over 24 months for more

In the News

than 10,000 euros through the financial platform Raisin, and the French Renault bank (an offshoot of the car company) pays 3.65% over 24 months with a minimum amount of only 500 euros. There are many other banks offering good interest rates, but with conditions such as a salary, or a pension over a certain threshold paid in monthly. The Banco Santander Group own the online bank Openbank and they launched a “depósito open” account in July with 3.07% over 6-12months with a salary, pension or other income over 600 euros paid in monthly. There is no limit to the amount of money you can put in (with a European deposit guarantee up to 100,000 euros), and there is an English version of their website. The cut-off date for obtaining the account was given as being September 4th although there may be some flexibility. HelpMyCash is a respected comparison site that lists all the best deals from banks for residents in Spain.

Inappropriate Flight Behaviour

Complaints of inappropriate behaviour on flights coming into Spain are at record numbers so far this year and totalled over 700 by the end of July. They take place principally on flights into AlicanteElche and Tenerife South and regrettably, the largest numbers related to UK nationals. There were nearly 400 complaints against Brits with 115 inbound for Alicante, 102 into Tenerife South, 88 into Barcelona and 77 into Palma de Mallorca. Alcohol consumption before or during a flight is the main cause, with some problems from the use of drugs. Recently, airport police were alerted to a passenger making indecent suggestions towards two young girls, and a stewardess had her breasts touched and stockings torn. On another flight a dispute broke out between 15 passengers, and all these took place on UK flights into Alicante. In one case, a British couple got into an argument, the husband slapped his wife and police met the plane. The woman filed an official complaint and a court the next day imposed a restraining order on the man from contacting his wife during their holiday! The head of the airport police in Alicante complains that Ryanair and EasyJet have return flights and a transfer to Benidorm night clubs for

as little as 100 euros, and excess drinking is the big problem. If cabin crew refuse to supply alcohol to a problem passenger this often causes further disruptive behaviour. Bachelor parties, end-of-year trips and music festivals also generate problems. In some cases where a drunk passenger causes problems as soon as they have boarded, the police are informed, the aircraft returns to the gate and the passenger is taken off. The plane then has to wait for another take-off slot after their luggage has been located. Very rarely, but this happened in November 2022, a flight from Leeds to Alicante was diverted to Nantes in France to off-load an extremely disruptive passenger.

The 2024 Toll Roads

The new Spanish government has to address the thorny issue of whether all major roads in Spain will become toll roads. This has been on the cards for some years in conjunction with the EU as part of a “sustainable mobility development plan”, and Spain committed to putting this in place by 2024. This is not going to happen, and Spain intends to have new discussions with the EU. A charge for using major roads in Spain is designed to cover the cost of road maintenance that is put at 8 billion euros per year, so the money from the existing cost could be used for other purposes. There are 25,000km of roads in Spain and 12,000 are rated as being high capacity. Whether this would be a straight charge per km, and how much it would cost, (a suggestion is 3-5 céntimos per km), or whether it might be a levy tied into the emissions from a vehicle (similar to restrictions that are being put in place in cities with more than 50,000 inhabitants), are still very much in the air. In other countries such as Austria, Luxembourg, the Netherlands and Switzerland there is an annual flat rate fee. A proposal in this case is 85 euros for a car and 430 euros for a lorry, van or bus. Some travel categories might be exempt, such as travel to a place of work, to education facilities, hospital visits and a discount for long-distance lorry drivers. Spain is being given 70 billion euros as part of a post-covid recovery plan and the money is advanced in stage payments based on objectives that have been met, until

In the News

the end of 2026. 7 billion euros, which is the fifth stage payment, appears to be tied into introducing toll roads, so this has to be taken into account.

Help For Small Businesses

People who are self-employed or run small businesses, can claim back some of the cost in the rise in electricity and gas from 2022. The Junta de Andalucía (the governing body for Almería province) using funding from the EU, have announced help to the value of 528 million euros. Companies with less than 250 employees who invoiced less than 50 million euros are entitled to make a claim, and there are 120 types of businesses. Assuming an accountant or gestor deals with your tax affairs, they will make the claim on your behalf and the rebate will be made before the end of the year into a specified bank account. The assistance is based on the difference in energy costs during 2022 and the average cost in 2021 and is stated to go from 300 euros to 2 million euros for the largest companies. At present, a selfemployed person who runs a business from home is allowed to claim tax relief for energy costs, based on the percentage of the property that is used to run the business. In this case, the rebate will be for the corresponding amount of money.

The EU and Palomares

The EU has formerly asked Spain to provide a progress report regarding the removal of the soil contaminated with plutonium in the Palomares and Vera areas. They did this in 2020 and asked for an update, but partly because of the COVID-19 pandemic not too much has happened. However, there are strong signs that the US will collaborate with Spain and take the soil back to the US where there is a storage area, and this was discussed between Pedro Sánchez, the Spanish Prime Minister, and President Biden at a meeting in May. There have been positive ongoing talks for several months and the removal would be in three phases. Firstly, the soils would be packed into special containers, and then transported to a US ship (possibly at Cartagena port). Finally, the soil would be buried in the US. Hilary Clinton, who was

then the US Secretary of State, promised that the soil would be removed “before President Obama left office”, but this was during his first term as President. John Kerry came to Madrid when he was Secretary of State in 2015, and signed a “non-legally binding memorandum of understanding” that the soil would be removed, but nothing came of this either. The EU state that there is a responsibility on every EU state to ensure basic safety standards as regards the radiation protection of citizens and in this case, the application of the recommendations made during the two verification missions when the radioactivity was monitored by Spanish and US experts in 2010 and 2019. Ecologists in Action maintain that the contamination is not just within the areas that have been cordoned off since 1966, when two US planes collided and four nuclear missiles were jettisoned. The nose cones of two of them split on impact releasing plutonium dust.

Car Sales in Spain

Figures for July relating to car sales in Spain have not yet been published, but the numbers up to the end of June make very interesting reading. They are dominated by the second-hand car market and the highest car sales were the VW Golf with 34,600 changing hands. Amazingly, the average age was 15.2 years. Sales of the new Dacia ‘Sandero’ model, top of the list of new car sales were 14,100, but did not get into the list of the top ten sales of all cars. 33,319 Renault Megan cars changed hands with an average age of 14.4 years, 30,500 Seat Ibiza cars with an average age of 14.2 years and the Citroën

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C3 was in tenth place, the “youngest” car with an average age of 10.92 years and 16.500 sales. Total sales of second-hand cars amounted to just over 1 million, with only 505,000 new cars purchased. The new Low Emission Zones in cities with over 50,000 inhabitants does not seem to have had much effect on second-hand sales. In our province this applies to Almería city, Roquetas de Mar and El Ejido. Outside these zones there are no restrictions on a car circulating of any age. The ‘DGT’ (the Spanish Traffic Authority) are very concerned regarding the age of vehicles in Spain. They state that older cars are less safe, and they may not have adequate servicing and the replacement of defective parts.

‘Modelo 720’ Refunds

In 2012 the Spanish Tax Department (Hacienda) ruled that people who were tax resident in Spain had to declare world-wide assets that had a value of more than 50,000 euros, and pay any tax that might be due. There were three broad categories; money, stocks and shares and investments, and property (the 50,000 euros applies to each category), and a ‘Modelo 720’ tax form had to be submitted. People who didn’t do this were fined very extortionate amounts of money that in some cases was far more than the value of the assets, as the law stipulated a minimum fine of 5,000 euros in each category for non-declaration, and a penalty of up to 150% of the asset value. In 2018 the amounts of the fines were greatly reduced as the EU court in Brussels was considering a complaint from a man who was tax-resident in Spain and had been fined a large amount of money. In January 2021 the court ruled that the fines were illegal under EU law because they were so excessive. The Spanish Government has now agreed that all the fines will be reimbursed. The amount of money the Hacienda raked in from 2013 is put at 230 million euros from 60,000 people. There is still an obligation to complete the ‘720’ form if assets are over 50,000 euros, and an amendment if the value of the assets has increased by 20,000 euros since a previous declaration, and the form has to be submitted by March 31st in the relevant calendar tax year. It is an online form only, but an accountant

or gestor will make the declaration on your behalf for a small fee. The current fines for not making a declaration, in line with other back-tax fines, are a minimum of 300 euros, but 600 euros for assets out of the EU, so in the UK, post Brexit. If a person makes a voluntary late declaration the fines are reduced by 50%. The Hacienda can go back for four tax years, if they consider some tax is due.

Far Less Church Weddings

In 2000 there were 2,763 weddings in our province with 2,188 in church so 79%, and 565 civil weddings so 21%. Being married in church was seen as the “correct” way to get married, particularly by parents. This has now completely turned round and in 2022 there were 2,434 weddings with 530 in church so 22%, but 1,904 so 78% were civil weddings. The COVID-19 pandemic is stated to have had a big impact, with wedding celebrations with a number of guests in a church banned, and the 2,140 weddings in 2019 fell to 1,193 in 2020. Only 125 were in church so 10%, and 1,068 so 90% were civil ones. The number of church weddings so far this year has gone up, but economics comes into it. If young people have less spending power, a civil wedding is much cheaper.

Homeless People in Spain

Out of a population of 47 million people in Spain there are about 40,000 people who are homeless and live on the streets. A book entitled “The Invisible Spain” has been published to address the root causes and propose solutions. The conclusion is that the vast percentage of those people who are homeless are not tramps and they have suffered from some event, usually economic or a partnership or marriage collapse, that has led to them living on the streets. Measures to combat homelessness that have been successful in Nordic countries include an initiative entitled ‘Housing First’. The object is to provide permanent accommodation in a house or room, where a person knows they have a regular bed, and this greatly helps them to re-enter society. A pilot scheme in Madrid is attempting to provide homes with the same aim. The author of the book states

that 40,000 homeless people is not a huge number, only 1.18% of the population, but help is needed as the life expectancy of homeless people is only age 40 in many cases as health problems are not addressed. The ‘Shelter’ organisation in the UK calculates that there are 271,000 homeless people including 123,000 children which is 1 in 208 people, but this does not include those who try to stave off complete poverty and sleep in their cars or in some cases tents. Figures for London are that 1 in 58 people are homeless and in Birmingham it is 1 in 80. ‘Shelter’ are predicting that numbers in 2023 will show a steep rise in view of the economic crisis and the cost-of-living increase.

Opening the Car Boot

Occasionally, in the event of an accident, or if a car is marooned in flood water or the doors are locked, the driver and passengers may become trapped inside. The Spanish ‘El Motor’ publication is advising drivers and passengers that they may be able to get out of the boot. Modern cars have a small panel in the tailgate under the rear window, with a symbol of a car with the boot open. You may need to remove this panel, (it should be possible with just a finger) and there is a mechanism with a lever that opens the boot. To get into the boot one of the backs of the rear seats needs to be put down, but this not difficult. Check in your car boot to see if you have this panel and that it is easy to remove if necessary. It is worthwhile inspecting the release mechanism with the boot open, so you are familiar with how it functions as it could save lives.

Living With Glaucoma

In our province there are 15,500 people who are affected by Glaucoma that is the second highest cause of blindness. The Almería Association of Glaucoma Sufferers are stressing that people should not give up on their treatment and about 40% of people recently diagnosed do not regularly continue with drops or medication. The society point out that daily treatment will not restore lost sight, but it will considerably delay the problem becoming more severe. If a person experiences irritation after using drops, they should go back

to their doctor and see if a different type of drops is better, or they may be prescribed tablets. Advice is that with drops that have to be used every 12 hours, sufferers should keep strictly to the schedule, and an alarm on a mobile phone may help. They also point out that elderly persons may need help from a carer, or a family member, to give the drops correctly at stipulated time periods.

Jim Simpson - Zurgena

Following the P.P. party obtaining a majority in the municipal elections, Jim Simpson who has been a councillor for 16 years, was left without a council seat. In his regular blog he extolled all the work and achievements from the P.S.O.E party. Jim has consistently refused to draw any salary he was entitled to, and has been a vital link with the large ex-pat community. In his blog he wrote, “(The last 16 years) has been interesting challenging, rewarding and at times fun. I have met and made many wonderful friends. Zurgena will always be in my heart”.

Cheaper Electricity

The Spanish government and ‘Red España’ (the Spanish National Grid company) are forecasting that by 2030 the cost of 1MWh of electricity will have fallen to 28 euros (1MW is 1 million watts). The forecast takes into account the rise in generating electricity from renewable sources such as wind farms and photovoltaic solar panels. 28 euros per MWh is 70% cheaper than the average price of 90 euros so far this year, and 80% cheaper than the average price in 2022. This is partly because companies consider that building wind or solar farms makes good economic sense and is profitable, as opposed to France where their projected MWh cost in 2030 is 60 euros. A spokesperson from Red España states that by 2030 wind (onshore and offshore), photovoltaic and hydroelectric renewable energy will account for 72% of the installed capacity. Combined cycle (gas) power stations will contribute 12% when the wind does not blow and it is not sunny. Cogeneration will remain at 2% and nuclear at 1%, with only three reactors in operation, assuming

In the News

an extension in the useful life of the seven currently in operation is not approved beforehand.

Ronaldo and URSU9 Water

Celebrities endorsing products are good news for the manufacturer and Cristiano Ronaldo claims health benefits from drinking URSU9 water that is supposed to have high alkalinity, the 9 standing for the pH value. Health experts cast doubt on whether there are any real benefits of drinking highly alkaline water considering that it has just become fashionable and a fad, and also tests show that the URSU9 water has 3-4 times less pH than claimed. At a press event, Ronaldo, a nutritionist and the owner of the bottling company, extolled the benefits of the water but there are doubts relating to the “scientific study” that the manufacturers paid for. Claimed benefits for food or drink are regulated in Spain by the Food Safety Authority who decide if they are valid, and no bottled alkaline water is on their approved list. The water is billed as coming from El Oso in Ávila where bears are supposed to have come to drink the natural spring water 400 years ago (‘Ursus’ is the Latin word for a bear, ‘Oso’ in Spanish). The idyllic scene from the promotional video with a large impressive waterfall was totally filmed in Portugal, not Spain, where very similar water claimed to be highly alkaline, is sold by the Auchan chain that comes from the Serra do Açor region. Their bottled water costs 26 céntimos a litre, the URSO9 water in El Corte Íngles costs 51 céntimos a litre, and potable tap water costs an average of 1 euro 19 céntimos per 1m3 (1,000 litres). 1m3 of the Auchan water costs 260 euros and 1m3 of Ronaldo’s water costs 510 euros. Experts agree that drinking water is necessary for health reasons, but claim 99.5% of tap water in Spain is potable with no harmful side-effects. The other complaint is that Ronaldo’s water comes in plastic bottles which is bad for the environment, as only about 15% are correctly recycled, and if there are no proven benefits the water should not be sold anyway!

Sex Change Operations

Between 2019 and 2022 in Andalucía. there were

460 sex-change operations, but only three in Almería city. Since 2014 when the law was changed to facilitate sex-change operations there has been 630 operations in all of Andalucía. A hospital spokesperson has stated that because very specialised techniques are required, the average waiting time is just over two years but several operations are spread over a period of time.

Motorhomes and Camper Vans

The ‘DGT’ (The Spanish traffic authority) have issued a new PROT 2023/14 instruction regarding motorhomes and campervans with regard to tourism. “Instructions” carry more weight than “recommendations” and town halls and autonomous communities, in theory, have to abide by them. The instruction relates as to whether a motorhome or a campervan is just parked, or is being used in a way that equates to camping. If it is just parked, town halls cannot prohibit where they park, but they can have regulations regarding camping. The first definition is that a parked vehicle has to be sitting only on their wheels, without any stabilisers, although chocks are allowed. Secondly, a parked vehicle cannot use more space than the actual measurements. It becomes a camping vehicle if it has an awning, tables and chairs, or other items on the ground beside it. Thirdly, a parked vehicle cannot discharge sewage or grey water, or become a nuisance through excess noise. The main purpose of the instruction is that town halls have to take this on board, and act accordingly. This is already a big problem in car parks around Roquetas de Mar, and also on the beachside around the Cabo de Gata area, a national park. A Spanish motorhome organisation states that people who

In the News

own them have spent a large amount of money and have disposable income that they use to buy supplies, or food and drink locally, helping the economy. They consider that town halls should encourage this with discharge facilities, toilets and showers and electricity supplies at sensible prices. The Junta de Andalucía have published a list of 37 camping sites for motorhomes, with 17 in Almería province. They have scores out of ten for facilities from visitors, and overnight prices. The new instruction will have to be passed in the Spanish Parliament in due course to become law, but it should be complied with in the meantime. It is unlikely that town halls will rush to change their existing regulations. Fines for “camping” in a prohibited area go from 700 euros to 3,000 euros.

Less Births

A Spanish Professor in Human Geography states that the crude way of comparing the number of births against deaths, is not the full story. Itzíar

Moralejo believes that having fewer children leads to better care and education, resulting in a prolonged survival rate and life expectancy. A society with higher levels of education will also be more productive, so the size of the labour force needed to ensure the sustainability of pensions will be smaller. Similarly, if life expectancy is extended, old age is reached with better health and less need for extended medical care. He states that just comparing numbers is of debatable value, and the belief that a loss of population is always negative. He thinks it is wrong to worry more about the number of inhabitants than about the quality of life and prospects. He points out that we enjoy a better quality of life than our ancestors and an increasing life expectancy is a real achievement in developed countries. Itzíar Moralejo concludes that women who are working and have fewer children will stay in the labour market longer, or return to it sooner, and this is a positive occurrence for the economy and family income.

Spain’s General Election

Since2019 the PSOE Socialist party led by Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez have been in government in Spain with a coalition of other parties, as they lacked the majority needed of 176 seats out of 350. They did badly in the May 28th municipal elections and Pedro Sánchez called for snap General Elections on July 23rd. 70% of people voted, 6% higher than in 2019 totalling 24 million in person, with 2.4 million postal votes and 2.3 million from Spaniards outside Spain.

Polls on television and in the press are banned during the week before an election, but almost universally they predicted the PP mainstream Conservative party would gain almost enough seats to have a majority, with the help of another party, and the PSOE party would not do well at all. The results were nothing like this, and the PP party obtained 137 seats, 17 more than in 2019 but only 300,000 more votes than the PSOE. They won 121 seats and far from losing out, they gained one seat from 2019 and 700,000 extra votes.

Both the main parties needed to form a coalition and the Vox extreme right-wing party won 33 seats, 19 less than in 2019. Joining forces with the PP this made 170, and 172 with two small parties, each with one MP, joining them. The PSOE joined forces with the left-wing Sumar party who obtained 31 seats, and other small parties, but the total was still only 171. Both these totals are less than the target of at least 176. The very decisive party was the Junts (Together) Independence party in Catalonia with 7 seats, who were opposed to join forces with the PSOE without very major concessions, but certainly not with the PP /Vox coalition. If they did make a pact with the PSOE this would give a majority of 178.

The key date was August 17th when a government needed to have been formed, and all 350 MPs went to parliament to vote in a coalition of a minimum of 176 MPs, but this wasn’t possible. The Junts party voted with the PSOE so that their candidate was elected with 178 votes to be President of

the “Mesa”, a committee who run parliament (an important position). They still wanted more concessions to give the PSOE a majority to govern. The next step on August 21st and 22nd was that the political leaders of 7 parties went to see King Felipe VI with their proposals to form a minority government. The King could endorse one of them, or call for more talks. If there is a government formed there is a vote in parliament for their candidate to be Prime Minister with an absolute majority, or further voting for a simple majority. If this does not succeed, then two months after the first vote the King dissolves parliament and new elections take place after at least 47 days. This happened in December 2015 with new elections in June 2016.

Alberto Núñez Feijóo, leader of the PP party, with one more MP in his coalition claimed he should form a government, but Pedro Sánchez leader of the PSOE party stated this was foolish, as he would never get even a simple majority in parliament. (He assumes the Junts party would vote against him). King Felipe agreed that Alberto Nuñez was entitled to attempt to form a government, and the vote will take place on September 26th & 27th. The date of Sunday, January 14th is already being suggested for new general elections.

Pedro Sánchez

So Now You Know...

September 11th, 2001

The worst terrorist attack in U.S. history took place on September 11th, 2001, when four large passenger jets were hijacked killing 2,752 people. Two fully-fuelled jumbo jets, American Airlines Flight 11 and United Airlines Flight 175, left Boston for Los Angeles but were taken over by the hijackers who flew them into the twin towers of the World Trade Centre that collapsed. United Airlines Flight 93 and American Airlines Flight 77 that had left Dulles for Los Angeles were hijacked, and Flight 77 flew into the Pentagon. Flight 93 crashed into a field in Pennsylvania after passengers attempted to overpower the terrorists on board.

Assassination Attempts

The first of two September assassination attempts on President Ford occurred on September 5th, 1975, when a young woman, Lynette Fromme, a member of the Charles Manson family, approached the President near the California Capitol and pointed a 45-calibre handgun at him. Before she was able to fire it, Secret Service agents tackled her and wrestled her to the ground. Seventeen days later, another woman, Sara Jane Moore, a mentally unstable accountant, tried to assassinate Ford while he was in San Francisco. Her attempt was thwarted by a bystander who instinctively grabbed her arm and her shot went wild and missed the President.

The US Constitution

On September 17th, 1787, the US Constitution was signed and adopted in Philadelphia at a congress presided over by George Washington, and it became the first written constitution in the world. Benjamin Franklin was the oldest signatory, aged 81. It is the shortest written constitution document with only four pages and just 7 articles and only had 4,400 words plus signatures. Over 11,000 amendments have been proposed, but only 27 have been incorporated, taking the current word count up to 7,590. The written document has a variety of spelling errors, including the signatory from Pennsylvania using a single “n” instead of the double “nn”.

The Gregorian Calendar

In Britain, the use of the Julian calendar was discontinued on September 2nd, 1752, switching instead to the Gregorian calendar. The Julian calendar was out of sync with the solar calendar with more leap years, and the introduction of the Gregorian calendar also changed the time Easter was celebrated, which was one of the aims. To make the change, Wednesday, September 2nd was followed by Thursday, September 14th. Some history books claim that the correction resulted in rioting by people who felt cheated and demanded the missing eleven days back, but it appears to have been a general discontent rather than an uprising.

Princess Grace of Monaco

On September 14th, 1982, Princess Grace of Monaco suffered a mild brain haemorrhage whilst driving from her home in Roc Aget and died following an accident in which her car plunged 120ft off a mountain road in Monte Carlo. Her daughter Stephanie survived and was treated for shock and bruises. Princess Grace (Grace Kelly) was a Hollywood actress who met Prince Rainier III of Monaco during the filming of the Hitchcock film To Catch a Thief. She then gave up a successful acting career and married him in 1956. Prince Rainier, who did not re-marry, was buried alongside her after his death from natural causes in 2005.

London “Bobbies”

Britain’s “bobbies”, the first London policemen, made their first public appearance on September 29th, 1829. They were the Greater London’s Metropolitan Police Force authorised by an act of Parliament at the request of the Home Secretary, Sir Robert Peel. They were nicknamed “bobbies” after Sir Robert’s Christian name, or “peelers” after his surname. They later became known as “Scotland Yard”, as the site of their first headquarters was on ‘Scotland Yard’ street. They worked regular beats with a short truncheon and a whistle to summon help, if needed, from fellow policeman. The force was a success, soon imitated in the US.

Elderly Drivers

InSpain in the year 2000 the life expectancy of a man was 75 but now it is 80.7, and 85.6 for women. This means the number of elderly drivers is increasing, with discussions as to whether there should be some age limit or other restrictions.

One factor is the increasing age of vehicles on the roads in Spain that has gone up from 10.9 in 2013 to 14 this year. The DGT (The Spanish traffic authority) are concerned that old vehicles may not be well maintained and instead of periodic services, drivers rely solely on the compulsory ITV (MOT) tests. They worry that elderly drivers tend to be the ones that do not have regular servicing. More deaths and serious accidents take place in older cars lacking modern safety features.

This year, drivers in Spain over the age of 65 total 3.7 million, up 15% in the last decade. The number of these motorists who are killed in traffic accidents shows hardly any increase, and is steady at about 200 every year, but 50% are age 70 or over. Deaths in accidents of people over the age of 65 peaked at 213 in 2014, but in 2021 they went down to 160, because of the pandemic and reduced traffic numbers generally.

The Linea Directa insurance company states that older drivers are considered to be more dangerous, but in reality this is not true. They say that elderly drivers are more cautious, observe speed limits, drive less at night, and their accident rate is four times less than drivers under 25. 19 million people in Spain think that elderly drivers should have an annual driving licence renewal, and 2.8 million think they should not drive at night. Another 860,000 drivers think that people over the age of 65 should not be able to drive at all. There is no age limit for elderly drivers in Spain, but they do have to renew their driving licences every five years from age 65, not every 10 years, but it is every three years for people over seventy in the UK.

One viewpoint is that a doctor should be the

person who decides, from their face-to-face encounters, records and health checks, which elderly people should no longer be able to drive, but at present a doctor has no interaction with the DGT. There is one consideration, in that at the driving licence renewal time a person needs to take a list of medication they regularly take. In the case of some drugs, a certificate has to be provided, such as from a mental health practitioner, that their patient is fully stable. Finland is unique in that doctors’ recommendations are taken into account in all cases, with a five-year licence renewal over the age of 45. In the US a doctor can recommend that a driving licence should not be renewed, but in France, Sweden, Belgium and Holland all driving licences are renewed at 10-year intervals, irrespective of age, and a licence can only be taken away by a court, or voluntarily.

The World Health Authority state that driving licences should not be refused on the grounds of age as this reduces the quality of life, and drivers from rural areas need their own transport.

Another consideration is obtaining insurance, and there are wide differences. Amongst other companies, ‘Ibex’ makes a surcharge for a named occasional driver over the age of 80, and premiums are higher for an habitual driver over this age. The ‘Liberty Seguros’ company have no increase in premiums for elderly people, irrespective of age.

Heat Waves and Tourism

Eduardo

Santander is the director of the the European Travel Commission (ETC), an entity that brings together 35 national tourism bodies, including Tour España. In July, in the middle of the heatwave that affected Mediterranean countries including Italy, Greece and Spain, the ETC published a survey with data from 10 countries.

This indicated that that the number of Europeans willing to travel to the Mediterranean area from June to November has fallen by 10% compared to last year, and that 7.6% of travellers see extreme weather events as a cause for concern during their holidays. The conclusion was that “other cooler destinations that traditionally have not been the most popular during the summer are beginning to benefit, such as Ireland, Denmark and Bulgaria. This does not mean that people will not travel to Spain, Italy or Greece, but it means that they are beginning to consider other destinations for climatic reasons.”

Eduardo Santander states that southern Mediterranean countries will still be the preferred destination but the tourist season will be extended, avoiding July and August. He considers that countries will need to adapt to offer vegetation, shade and water to the tourists that will come during July and August, and rural locations will be in a higher demand. He cites Greece closing the Parthenon in Athens due to excessive temperatures as a trend that will have to be extended in other countries, particularly where there are long queues such as at the Alhambra Palace in Granada. In July large sunshades were put up over the access walkway to give tourists some shade whilst they waited to buy tickets.

Jorge Marichal is the President of the Spanish Confederation of Hotels and Accommodation (Cehat), which brings together 1.8 million hotel beds. During July he stated that as regards UK tourists coming to Spain numbers were increasing this year, in a large part due to the continued interest in escaping to the beaches after confinements and flight restrictions. However, if they experienced severe heat this year, they

would consider going elsewhere in July and August next year, and parents with school children have to have summer holidays and can’t come at other times of the year. Italy’s Environment Ministry considers that foreign tourists will travel more in spring and autumn in the future and choose cooler destinations in the summer. This can be helped by the greater labour flexibility after COVID-19. More and more people have jobs that allow them to telework, and they have more flexibility to take vacations in months other than July and August but will still choose Mediterranean destinations.

Ester Higueras is a professor of Urban Planning at the School of Architecture in Madrid, and she perceives more changes. “We will have to change the patterns of visits to monuments and tourist attractions to make them more nocturnal, something that can be promoted from the tourism sector to make them more attractive”. She considers that tourist accommodation will have to cater for having a siesta, because it is not healthy to visit anywhere when there is a lot of radiation and heat. In addition, shady tourist itineraries with trees, fountains and rest areas will have to be put in place.

Eduardo Santander considers that more and more people will wait until the last minute to book their holidays if heatwaves continue, so the sector will have to be agile and adapt. This is partly because travel insurance does not include heatwaves or extreme temperatures as a reason to cancel a flight or accommodation, and airlines won’t give refunds.

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SECOND HAND

SECURITY & SAFES See Alarms

SEWING

SEPTIC TANK SERVICE

TAXIS (Legal)

TILING & PATIO WORK

See also Building Services

TIMBER SUPPLIERS

TOURIST ATTRACTIONS

TRANSLATING - see Interpreters

TUITION

VEHICLE IMPORTATION

VETS

Useful Numbers

Community News

nuns who go to great lengths to ensure that the children see this as a loving, caring home. The Ayuntamiento provides funding for food for the children. All other funding for clothing, personal hygiene, etc. has to be accumulated via donations. Much of this is provided for by the Vera & District Lion’s Club, including ensuring the children have wrapped Christmas presents under the Christmas tree in December.

Donation to the San Agustin’s Children’s Home, Vera

Living Water Church, Mojácar, have partnered with the Vera & District Lion’s Club by donating 1,500 euros to the San Agustin’s Children’s Home building project in Vera. The Vera & District Lion’s Club have taken on a very large project as major renovations are required at the home. It is estimated that the initial project will require around 20,000 euros to complete.

Constructed in 1872, and originally a hospital to attend to the sick and the injured who worked in the mines, the building needs considerable attention. One part of the building is managed by the Vera Ayuntamiento via grants and the other part is owned (in a trust) by the family of one of the nuns. The latter part is a ‘listed building’; so there is a limit to what can be done to the building. The Lion’s Club have already rebuilt the kitchen and refurbished and refurnished the children’s bedrooms. Unfortunately there is still much work to be done to the building, as no refurbishment works have previously been done, including to the walls and roofs.

The San Agustin’s Children’s Home currently houses 11 children between the ages of 8 to 14 years old. The Children’s Home is run by two

Los Bandidos Race in Garrucha

Nine Los Bandidos runners took on the ninth race in the Circuito de Carreras Populares Diputación de Almeria 2023 in Garrucha on Saturday 5 August. The 8.5k, two lap race went through the town and along the port, on a slightly cooler evening than previous races. There was lots of support along the course from the busy bars and restaurants!

The winner finished in 28:49, with the first lady in 33:35. 252 runners crossed the finish line. Trophies were awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd places in each age group as well as to the overall winners. All competitors received a drinks bottle.

Los Bandidos results (position, name, time and age group prizes)

Hand over of monies by Philip Cook (pastor of LWC) to Hilary Law (secretary of Lion’s Club).

Community News

243 Derek Wright 57:16

252 Lesley Davidge 1:17:01 (3rd G-F)

Gerry Diamond participated in the non-competitive 4.25k run and Lesley Davidge won a voucher for a massage in the raffle.

Full results: https://www.cruzandolameta.es/ clasificaciones/v2/garrucha-circuito-de-carreras -populares-diputacion-de-almeria-2023---1841/ #clasificaciones

Los Bandidos was set up in June 2018 with a small group running the 5k Mojácar Paseo, and now has road cycling, sea swimming and triathlon groups. All ages, nationalities and speeds are welcome, whether permanent residents or holiday makers. Los Bandidos are keen to integrate and support the local community. We are currently collecting non-perishable food and toiletries for the Red Cross Food Bank.

We are very sociable and most sessions are followed by coffee, cake or breakfast, depending on the time of day. Follow us on Facebook (https:// www.facebook.com/groups/490933409244200). We look forward to seeing you soon.

The Macenas Resort Social Club & Pool Now Open

The ‘Cosentino’ company, based in Cantoria, bought the Macenas complex in Mojácar last year and have major plans to turn it into a thriving entity. The previous construction and management company went into liquidation during the financial crisis in 2008. The Social Club, centred round the pool area, was opened at the end of July. Half-completed houses are going to be finished along with new ones, and a treatment centre for sewage and grey water will be constructed. The recycled grey water will irrigate the golf course that will be expanded and re-opened. The electricity supply is also being beefed up to cater for the increased demand and a hotel and “wellness” centre will be built, intended to open in 2026. ‘Cosentino’

have announced that their total investment will be 200 million euros, generate several hundred permanent and indirect jobs and will turn the complex into a thriving resort for residents and tourists.

Dreambeach 2023

The organisers of this year’s ‘Dreambeach’ music festival, that took place in early August at Villaricos have stated that 135,000 people came to the venue. Friday, August 11th and Saturday, August 12th recorded the two highest numbers of “dreamers”. This is less than the 2019 total of 160,000 but more than the 110,000 last year, when the festival took place during July which was not popular. Owing to Covid, there was no festival in 2020 and 2021. Another statistic is that the local economy saw an input of 12 million euros, with 1,000 people being employed before, during and after the event. On the Friday, a Guardia Civil helicopter was taking off from La Mojonera in the AlmeríaPoniente area beside the A-7 motorway to go to the Dreambeach site when a gust of wind blew the tail rotor into a tree. Fortunately, neither the pilot nor the camera operator on board were injured. Throughout the festival, police arrested 6 people for drug trafficking, 715 people were fined for being in possession of drugs, 58 drivers were over the alcohol limit and 180 were positive for drugs. 3,869 drivers were breathalysed and 326 tested for drugs.

What’s On

Cervantes in Almería city on Sunday, October 1st at 5pm. Tickets are 15 euros or 18 euros at the door.

El Origen del Hielo is a tribute concert to ‘Frozen’ that comes to Teatro Cervantes in Almería city on Sunday, September 17th at 6pm. Described as an event for families, tickets are 12 euros or 15 euros at the door.

Cabaret, A homage concert celebrating 50 years since ‘Cabaret’

Almería

Silvia Pérez Cruz, the famous songwriter and performer, comes to the Maestro Padilla Auditorio in Almería city on Friday, October 6th at 8.30pm. She is performing her latest album ‘Género Imposible’ that was recorded between 2020 and 2022 at various live concerts. Tickets are 25, 35 & 38 euros.

‘Encanto’ is a musical for children depicting the adventures of two sisters and comes to Teatro

What’s On

was first performed, comes to Teatro Cervantes in Almería city on Saturday, Sept. 30th at 8pm. The performance has received rave reviews and has been seen by 20,000 people throughout Spain. It is considered not suitable for children below the age of 12. Tickets are 20, 25 & 30 euros.

The Hamburg Philharmonic Orchestra perform a concert at Teatro Cervantes in Almería city on Sunday, October 22nd at 8pm. They perform Vivaldi’s Four Seasons, Mozart’s Divertimento in F major KV 138, Dvorak’s Slavonic dance, Komitas’ Arminian Miniatures and Brahm’s Hungarian Dances numbers 1 & 5. Ticket prices were not shown at time of going to press.

Mon-Fri, 11am-1pm & 4pm-7pm, Saturday from 11am-2pm, or 1hr before performances, or from www.todaslasentradas.com

Roquetas

The Royal Film Concert Orchestra, with 90 members, perform a John Williams film music concert with scores from action films, at the Roquetas auditorio on Saturday, October 14th at 9pm. Tickets are 45 euros.

Roquetas de Mar Auditorio tickets are on sale at www. teatroauditorioroquetas.org or their ticket office, open Tuesdays to Fridays from 11am-1pm & 6pm8pm.

Águilas

The Granada Young Person’s Symphony Orchestra, conducted by Isabel Rubio, perform at the Águilas auditorio on Sunday, September 24th at 8pm.

Tickets for concerts in Almería (except Teatro Cervantes) available from the ticket office in the Teatro Apolo, 25 Rambla Obispo Orberá, Almería , tel: 950 230 922. Mon- Fri, 10.30am-1.30pm

Tickets for Teatro Cervantes, Almería city, from box office at Calle del Poeta Villaspesa,1. Open

What’s On

Miscellaneous

Open Mic Night every Thursday at Miraflores, Los Gallardos, kick off at 8pm. Everyone welcome.

They perform Beethoven’s 4th Symphony and Mussorgsky’s Pictures at an Exhibition. Tickets are 5 euros.

The Kiev Ballet Company perform Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake at the Águilas auditorio on Wednesday, November 1st at 8.30pm. Tickets are 29 euros, and 1,50 euros goes to the Ukrainian emergency services fund.

Aguilas tickets from Victoria Travel 968 410 929 & www. bacantix.com, Museo Arqueológico, www. auditorio-aguilas.org or from 2hrs before performances at the box office.

Vera

The Hidalgo tennis tournament takes place Friday, September 8th - Sunday 10th. There are two categories of Juniors and Seniors and the entry fee is 15 euros. Players have to register by 2pm on September 7th. Registration and info tel: 661 058 208.

PAWS-PATAS

The secondhand book sale at Scotty’s El Tropico is held on the second Tuesday of the month, 10.30am - 1pm. All proceeds to stray cat neutering.

Send details of your events to almeriafocus@gmail.com or WhatsApp 667 80 11 40

What’s On

Market Days

Monday:

Tuesday:

Wednesday:

Thursday:

Friday:

Saturday:

Huércal-Overa, Antas, Berja

Albox, Los Gallardos, Cuevas del Almanzora

Mojácar, Bédar, Lubrin, Vélez Blanco, Palomares, Tabernas

Cuevas del Almanzora, Olula del Río, Carboneras, Sorbas

Garrucha, Turre, Zurgena

Aguilas, Vera, Arboleas, Vélez Rubio

Sunday: Rastros, Car Boot Sales, etc.

Villaricos, Purias, San Juan de los Terreros, Fines

Saturday:

Sunday:

Los Llanos, between Arboleas & Albox

Bédar, 2nd Saturday of the month

Chiringuito Extreme, Hostal Rural, Turre Plaza del Rey, Velez Rubio

Mojácar Rastro, Multiple Use Centre

Activities - Clubs - Associations

Clubs, Societies & Activities

Free Spanish and English Lessons

Available in some municipalities. Enquire at your local town hall.

Almanzora Group of Friends

Library and Information Centre, Tues - Fri, 10am-1pm, Plaza San Antonia, Barrio Alto, Albox. Extensive English Library, DVDs and talking books, monthly magazine, monthly quiz, trips. www.almanzoragof.org or Facebook: Almanzora Group of Friends. Tel: 602 495 306

Almeria Link Friendship Group

Membership is free and open to all. We meet at weekends in the Mojacar area to enjoy dining experiences and form friendships. New members are always welcome. Please contact Bob on 950472551

WOW Women on Wednesday Scotty’s, Mojácar Playa, 2pm. Get together, buy, sell, swap, meet new people.

Dames in Huércal Overa

3rd Wed. of the month, 10.30am, Tennis Club, Huércal Overa. All welcome. Tel. Jan Oliver 642 413 945.

Dames in Turre

Monthly lunches and trips. New members welcome. Chairman, Barbara Wardley, casaroojo@hotmail.co.uk. Secretary, Moira Armatage +34 711 007 192, mogsy2009@ live.com

Flamenco Forum for English

Speakers on Facebook. Information and events. Tel: 687 480 694

The Royal British Legion - Zurgena & District Branch

La Parrilla, Albox, first Thursday of the month, 11am. Email zurgenaRBLsecretary @yahoo.co.uk. See www.britishlegion.org/ branches/zurgena

Indalo Hash House Harriers

Meet 2nd and 4th Sunday, 11am, various locations. www.indaloh3.com

Mojácar Bridge Club

Contact Les Brice 697 297 991 or Ron Hounsell 711 064 726. www.bridgewebs. com/mojacar/

Vera & District Lions Club

We meet regularly including social events. For more information please email veralionssecretary@gmail.com or contact President Zoe Rylett on zoerylett@gmail. com - 639 036 051. All items gratefully received at The Lions Charity Shop in Turre. Open Thursday, Friday & Saturday 10:00-14:00. Mobility equipment available. Donations and Standing Orders to Vera And District Lions Fundraising. ES19 3058 0186 3527 2000 7801

The Royal British Legion, Mojácar

First and third Thursday of every month (except July and August) at 11am, coffee and chat at Cokkia Restaurant (opposite Neptuno). Ex-Forces and non-Service people all welcome. We hold lunches and other events which we publicise at the coffee mornings and on local media. For welfare advice and help for the exForces community in need of support email SpainNorthCommunitySupport@rbl. community. If you wish to hold an event in aid of the Poppy Appeal or help at our collection points in October and November please email Mojacar.Committee1@rbl. community or ring 699 953 222. We are now on Facebook, click on Groups and search for Royal British Legion Mojacar Branch.

Psychic Development Circle

Various classes at different times. Everyone welcome. Tel: Barbara 637 469 937 barbaramoonlight@gmail.com

Vera Photo Club

First Sunday of month, Bar La Pará, Turre (opposite the Vet), 10am - 12.30pm. Presentations by invited speakers, field trips, instruction, studio photography, monthly assignments and exhibitions. All levels welcome. Phone Sarah 670003717 or Claus 628585538.

Freemasons in the Province of Almeria

Craft & Chapter. 661 026 912 or 670 27 27 37

Freemasons – The Side Degrees

Mark, RAM, RSM, OSM & Allied. 678 574 579

Albox Computer Club

Hotel La Parrilla, Albox. Fri, 10am. All levels of experience are welcomed. www. alboxcc.com

Traditional Japanese Reiki and Gendai Reiki Ho

Classes, workshops, and Reiki shares in Mojacar. Tel: 634 347 930, website: www. gendaireikispain.com

Ancestry Club for Beginners & Intermediate

Tel. 634 309 590

Mojácar Community Library

Multi-Use centre. Mon, Wed and Fri, 11am - 1pm .

Activities - Clubs - Associations

Clubs, Societies & Activities continued

Amigos de los Coches Clasicos

Local multi-national group of classic car enthusiasts. Meetings the first Thursday of the month, 3pm, Hotel Rural Miguel Rosi, junction 559 E15/A7. www.a-c-c.es, email: info@a-c-c.es, tel. David 630740502

Antas 1/10 Scale RC Club

Thursdays 10.00am at RC Circuito, Antas. Ring Chris on 634328059 for more details.

Model Aero Flying Club, Cortijo Grande

Sun. & Wed., 10.30am. Contact Jeff on 950 469304 or Colin on 666 982186

Aeroclub ULM Günter (Vera)

Tel: 607 316 553

Pita Escuela Agave School of Río Aguas. A multicultural, environmental and musical project, specialized on the integral usage of the agave plant and the processing of its wood.Tel 630 66 18 65 (Timbe) pitaescuela@hotmail.com

Sunseed

A hands-on practical centre for low-impact living and environmental education in Los Molinos del Rio Aguas near Sorbas. Free tours at 4pm. www.sunseed.org.uk Tel: 950 525 770

Religious Groups & Churches

Church of England (Anglican Services)

Mojácar, Sundays, 11am; Llanos Del Peral, Sundays,11am; Aljambra Chapel Albox, 2nd Thursday monthly at 11am. For directions, details and all church activities please see www.almeriaanglican.com or contact Tony Noble on 634303807. Also available Funerals, Wedding Blessings, Wedding Vow renewals and Baptisms.

Kingdom Hall, Jehovah’s Witnesses

Tues 7:30pm & Sun 10.00am. Poligono Aljoroque - C/El Cajete 6, Antas. Contact: 652 293 269

Turre Evangelical Church

Sundays at 10.30 – worship, a not too long talk from the Bible, coffee and cake. Welcoming and relaxed – all welcome. Find us on Turre’s main street, Avenida de Almeria, corner of C/Alberquillca. Email: contact@turrechurch.es Tel: (0034) 711 035 486 Web: turrechurch.es

New Life Church, Huercal-Overa

We are a Jesus centred church family learning to love one another. Sunday service at 11 am, www.newlifechurch.eu tel. 685 628 184

Living Water Church Mojacar Playa

Opposite Red Cross Centre and Salas Farmacia. Sunday Service 11am. Bible study, Tuesday 10am. Prayer, Tuesday, 12:30pm. Cafe Church, Thursday 11am to 1pm. See FaceBook or visit www. livingwaterchurchmojacar.com

Aguaviva Evangelical Church

Near the health Centre, opposite BiciBox, Albox. Tel: Rod Southwood, 687 560 544

Roman Catholic Masses

These can be found on www.misas.org for most places.

Support Groups & Charities

MACS Cancer Support Group

General Enquiries call 634 328 334 10am to 4pm. 24/7 Careline: 634 656 555. Fully Spanish registered charity. Shops in Mojácar, Turre, Albox and Huercal-Overa open Mon-Fri, 10-2pm www.macscancersu pport.com Email: macscancersupport@ live.co.uk

Stepping Stones Carers Support Group

Turre Evangelical Hall, Thurs, 11am-2pm. Tel 950 472 822 or 677 683 385 www. steppingstones.group

Age Support Almanzora

Shop and welfare office near Peugeot garage, Albox, open Mon-Fri, 10:00-13:45. Lunch club, bereavement group, equipment loan, befrienders. Helpline 642 045 210.

A.A. Alcoholics Anonymous

Mojacar Area Meetings:- Monday 6pm, Turre Evangelical Church (Avenida de Almeria, Turre). Friday, 6pm, Living Water Church, Mojacar Playa (opposite Red Cross building). Tel: 634 300 364 or email aaspain@gmail.com

Al-Anon Family Groups for people whose life is or has been affected by someone else’s drinking. Meetings Mondays, 4:45 - 5:45 at Turre Evangelical Church. Tel: 698460801 or email AlAnon. LaAlfoquia@gmail.com

Universal Wonderful Street Academy

NGO that supports street children in Accra (Ghana). Registered charity. www. universalwonderfulstreetacademy.org. Beatriz: 617 182 154

Harmony Community Support

Providing assistance to those in need. Tel. 634 339 192 Mon - Fri, 11:00 - 14:00 help@harmonycharity.com

Walk for Life Arboleas

If you or a loved one have been diagnosed with cancer and need help or support contact our welfare team. Email irenewalk4life@icloud.com Tel. 643 63 81 77. To volunteer to help at any of our events and become a Friend of Walk for Life email claire.walk4life@gmail.com Tel 644602249.

Activities - Clubs - Associations

Music & Drama Groups

Open Mic Night

Every Thursday, 8pm, at Miraflores, Los Gallardos, 8pm. Everyone welcome.

Indalo Players

Well established drama group always looking for new members to act or help back stage. Contact Jennifer Jordan email jenniferjanejordan@gmail.com/ phone 34 722 860 085.

Independent Theatre Group

Always looking for new people, novices & full blown Thesbians. Call Ian Jones on 950 436 581 or 666 375 688 or e-mail independenttheatre@hotmail.com

The Luvvies

New members always welcome for acting or work behind the scenes etc. Tel. 634 346 309 or e-mail theluvvies@hotmail.com

Jacqueline Welby Productions

New members always needed to act or work back stage or with any other activities. Tel. Jacqueline Morris Welby 634 313 531

Orquesta Ciudad de Vera

A friendly group of musicians of various ages and levels. All newcomers welcome, only requirement is to play an orchestral instrument and read music. Rehearsals Vera Auditorio on Saturday mornings. See www. ocv.org.es for details.

Vera Voces

A friendly choir singing classical music, directed by pianist, singer and director, Barry Jobling. All welcome, no auditions.

Rehearsals Mondays, 5-7pm, at Vera Auditorio. Facebook: Vera Voces. Contact veravoces1@gmail.com

All Aloud Community Choir

Meet every Wednesday at Bar Kubatin (at Hostal Meson) Arboleas from 3pm to 5pm. All welcome, no auditions.

Albox Ukebox

A friendly group that meets weekly on Tuesday afternoons in Charlotte’s Bar (formerly Chapman’s) in Albox to learn and sing songs with the ukulele. All welcome. For details tel. Chris on 634 375 471.

Yoga

Sol Yoga Centre, Arboleas Tel: 686 400331

VaVa Yoga Studio, Vera. Tel: 642 314 316

Yoga Therapy with Portia Oliver. Tel: 681301474 www. portiaoliver.es

Arts & Crafts

Sewing Group, Mojacar

We meet at Scotty’s el Tropico bar for sewing, knitting, crochet etc. Weds.

10.30 to 12.30. Tel. Brenda 634 34 34 92. We are a friendly group meeting for coffee and chat.

Ladies Sewing Circle

Evangelical Church, Turre, Wednesday

10.30 – 12.30 Tel: 667 702 774

Picante Quilting Club

Scotty’s El Tropico, Mojacar. First Thurs of the month, 10am-12.30pm. Beginners welcome. For more details or to book your place, please email Jo at jogibson787@yahoo.co.uk

Cloud Zebra Craft Workshops & Clubs

In Almanzora and Oria, Tues 10-2, Thurs and Fri, 10.30 -2.30. Call 744 60 96 30. No experience needed.

Bedar Arts Centre

Ceramic classes, Mondays and Wednesdays. Painting classes Tuesday 10:301330. For info, call 664 896 555

Dance

Strictly Line Dancing

Salon de Actos, Centro de Usos

Multiples, Mojacar. Fridays, 4–7pm. Beginners welcome. Contact: Glynis 648217503 or Mary Beth 661671526 or strictlylinedancingmojacar@gmail.com

Eleanor & Gilly’s Line Dance Class

Chapman’s Bar, Albox, 2pm- 3-45pm, Mondays. All levels welcome. 950439003.

Step2It - Line Dancing

Arboleas. Weds: 6.45 p.m-7.30 p.m, First Steps/Intro. 7.30 p.m-10.30, Beginners / Improvers /Intermediate. Carrie Ann 627279584 www.carrieanngreen.com

Almeria Line Dancers

Julie - 634304625 / 950110433

Ceroc Dancing

Artisan Centre, Mojacar, Tues 8.15pm Beginners/Improvers/Advanced. All welcome. Contact Tracey 687251799

Belly Dancing

Mojácar, Garrucha & Huércal-Overa. Contact Fatima: 610 472 596

Bellydance Classes

Mojácar, Turre, Palomares. Call 639 724 521

Dance Classes with Hollie Newell Ballet, tap, contemporary, modern, jazz, lyrical, zumba and more. Based in Turre. Tel: 634 317 391

Performing Arts Centre DanZaVera

54 Verasol, Vera. Royal Academy Ballet, Imperial Society Modern, Tap and Jazz. Also Hip-Hop, Oriental Dance, Spanish Classical. Tel Anita: 670 715 787

Complete Beginners Flamenco Mojácar. No specialist shoes or equipment required, friendly hour long class. Email info@lagitanainglesa.com

VaVa Yoga Danza (Spanish)

With Barbarito. Cuban & Latin Salsa, Bachata & Merengue. Tel: 642 314 316

Send details of your group to almeriafocus@gmail.com WhatsApp: 667 80 11 40

Activities - Clubs - Associations

Sports

Almería Lawn Bowling Club

Contact Shirley: 679 970 399

Bowling Club de Zurgena Friendly, social and competitive bowling, all levels & standards. zurgenabc@gmail. com. www.zurgenabc.com

Cabrera Lawn Bowling Club www.cabreralbc.com

Indalo Lawn Bowling Club

First class facilities with all levels of bowling catered for. Visit our website http://www. indalobowlingclub.org

Mojacar Bowls Club

Behind Marina Mar Hotel. Everybody welcome - Tues, Thurs and Sat starting with coffee at 9:30. Contact Janet 627204422, janlawspain@yahoo.co.uk

Aguilón Amigos Golf Club

Aguilon Golf Course on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays teeing off just before 9am. If you would like to play email aguilonamigos2021@gmail.com

Badgers Golf Society Mojácar

We play every Wednesday and alternate Saturdays. All are welcome. Contact Paul Cunningham on (0044)7775837453 WhatsApp or badgersmojacar@mail.com

Boxers Golf Society Albox

All welcome to join us as members or guests. Call in at the Why Not bar in Albox on Saturday mornings or email peterstooks@avired.com

Forum Golf Society

Plays friendly events at local courses twice a month. Richard Price. Telephone 850993073 or rfp53@yahoo.co.uk. www.forumgolfsociety.webs.com

Golfing Guapas Society

We are a group of ladies of all nationalities meeting one Friday in the month...golf followed by lunch and prizes. All welcome. Call Vivienne 683 558 696.

Valle del Este Golf Society.

Tuesdays, Thursdays & Sundays. Contact Alan Townsend Tel. 690 090 982

Almería Golf League

Contact Les on 950 619 273.

Marina Phoenix Golf Society

Visitors welcome Mondays and Thursdays. Tel Don Atkins 605 051 238. Email marinaphoenixgs@gmail.com

Huzzah Golf Society

Friendly group of all abilities, playing Aguilon golf course each Monday and local courses. All welcome. Call Eric & WhatsApp 643 04 96 96. Fb: Huzzah Golf Society. Email: huzzahgs@gmail.com

Albox Club de Tenis

Sun & Thurs mornings, Tues afternoons. Tel Sue: 950 064 369 Fb: Albox Club de Tenis

Cabrera Tennis Club

Contact info@ cabreratennisclub.com www.cabreratennisclub.com

Club de Tenis y Padel Indalo Vera. Tel: 950 59 28 77 - 608 250 607

Tennis Coach

Diego Rodriguez Tel: 689 688 226

Padel tennis lessons

At home. Tel: Ulises Gutiérrez, 606 902 691

PartyLevante Sailing Club

Initiation for children from 7 yrs in small groups. Email info@partylevante.com or call 680942141 www.partylevante.com

Santa Irene Sailing Club

Come and join us out on the watersailing or crewing our safety boat. Every Sunday at 10:30 in the boat park at the north end of Garrucha harbour. Email info@santaireneclubdevela.com www. santaireneclubdevela.com

Adelante Gimnasia Artìstica

Huercal-Overa.Classes for fun gymnastics, competitive levels, pre school and adults. Fully qualified coach. From 2 years. Tel 622 129 702 or info@adelanteartisitca.es www. adelanteartistica.es Facebook Adelante Gimnasia artistica.

Walking Football Club

Turre football ground, 9.30am, Monday, for training, exercise & playing. www. fclosamigos.com

Los Bandidos

Run, jog, walk a 5km route along the Paseo. Free to all. See Facebook. Contact Kevin on ironmankev08@gmail.com

Arboleas Table Tennis Club

Mon/Wed/Fri, 9.30 - 10.30 am, building with blue door next to swimming pool bar, Arboleas. Beginners welcome. Contact Chairperson - Keith tel 634 326 350.

Fitness & Martial Arts

Girasol, Albox

Pilates, children’s karate & Tai-chi. Tel 639 089 170

Aerobics or Pilates

Campo de Futbol, Turre. Contact Vicki 650 764 623 or vicki.lynch@live.co.uk

Slimming Group

Sophia Wellness Centre Arboleas, Thurs

12.30pm, Contact Vicki 650 764 623 or vicki.lynch@live.co.uk

Mojácar Taekwondo

5 years to adults. Various classes & times. Contact Serge 646844708. Facebook GTF Spain

Sophia Wellness Centre, Arboleas Various activities. Tel. 950 449 451.

Fitness with Alison, Mojácar

Full Body Workout, Pilates, AquaZumba, Zumba, Step Aerobics, Total Toning, AeroFit. Tel 666 273 168.

Hollie Newell Zumba Almeria

Turre, Los Gallardos, Arboleas and San Juan. Contact: 634 317 391

Jova Gym, Mojácar

Various activities. www.jovasport.es 671 247 035. See facebook.

Qigong

Group courses and personal training. Partaloa and Albox area. Contact Ilse +32 497451953 or +34 643489975

https://ilsevanbrabant.com/en/course/

Qigong Classes

Mojácar & Lubrín. Call 711 096 381.

Mojácar Qigong/Taijiquan

Tuesdays and Thursdays at 11.00am. Samsara Beach Club (Opposite Lua) monjchalao@gmail.com. See Facebook gusfit.es

Send details of your group to almeriafocus@gmail.com or WhatsApp: 667 80 11 40

Coffee Break

Jokes of the Month

A Wealthy Old Lady

An old woman was lining her car up to park it when a young man in a shiny red Mercedes whipped round her, and parked in the space. She was very upset and angry so she went up to the young man and told him, “I was going to park there, you could see I was.” The young man replied, “This is what you can do when you are young and bright, hard luck!” The woman was even angrier, so she went back to her car, started it up and drove it fast into the back of the Mercedes. The young man screamed, “What did you do that for?” The little old lady replied, “That’s what you can do when you’re old and rich. Hard luck!”

The Burning Building

A physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician are all in separate rooms in a burning university building. The physicist runs to a chalkboard, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out his fire, runs and finds the exact amount, puts out the fire, and survives. The engineer pulls out a calculator, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire in his room, runs and finds 10 times that amount to be on the safe side, puts out the fire, and survives. The mathematician runs to a chalkboard, covers it with mathematical symbols and calculates very exactly, to the third decimal place, how much water he will need to put out the fire. He stands back and declares, “Yes, there IS a solution if you patiently solve the problem by working through it logically!”, but then he burnt to death.

The Bargain

On the first day of school a primary teacher gave all her pupils a letter to take home. It read, “If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home!”

Shopping

Wife: “I’m going shopping, do you need anything?” Husband: “I’m looking for innerpeace and happiness, an answer to my doubts, a sense of fulfilment, a means through which I can transcend consciousness and reach true spirituality and calmness.” Wife: “Smirnoff or Absolut?”

Special Equipment

A man driving a Kia stops at a traffic light next to a Rolls-Royce. The Kia driver rolls down his window and calls out to the Rolls-Royce driver, “Hey, pal, that’s an impressive car. Does your Rolls have a fridge in there? I have a fridge in the back of my Kia!” The Rolls-Royce driver responds, “Yes, there’s a refrigerator.” The Kia driver replies, “That’s cool, man! What about a TV? I’ve got a TV in my Kia!” The Rolls-Royce driver, getting annoyed, says, “Yes, there’s a television. A Rolls-Royce is the epitome of luxury vehicles!” The Kia driver says, “Amazing car! But, do you have a bed in there? I’ve got a bed in the back of my Kia!” Frustrated that his car lacks a bed, the Rolls-Royce driver goes straight to the dealership to get a bed put in. The next morning, he picks up his car and the king size bed looks fantastic, complete with silk sheets. He spends the entire day searching for the Kia and finally he spots it parked up with fogged-up windows. He gets out of his Rolls-Royce and knocks on the driver’s window. After a couple of minutes, the Kia owner pokes his head out, dripping wet. “I now have a king size luxury bed in the back of my RollsRoyce,” the Rolls-Royce driver declares smugly. The Kia driver replies, “Did you really drag me out of the shower just to tell me that?!”

The Lawyer

A guy asks a lawyer about his fees. “I charge 50 dollars for three questions”, the lawyer says. “That’s awfully steep, isn’t it?”, the guy asks. “Yes, but I’m the best”, the lawyer replies. “Now what’s your final question?”

The Wrong Side

A man goes into a record store and asks the assistant “Do you have the LP ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2’, released this week?” “Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?” “That would be wonderful,” says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones. He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, “I am the world’s leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don’t recognise any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?” The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologises and lifts the stylus onto the next track. The expert listens for a few moments, and then says angrily, “No, this can’t be right! I’ve been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don’t recognise any of these sounds, this is outrageous.” The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over. “What seems to be the problem, sir?” “I am the world’s leading expert on European wasps. There is no way in hell that the sounds on this record were made by European wasps!” The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly. “I’m terribly sorry, sir. It appears we’ve been playing you the bee side.”

No Email

A young jobless man applied for the position of ‘office boy’ at a company and was asked to make some tea. “You are hired” the employer said. “Give me your email address, and I’ll send you the application form to fill out, as well as staff conditions.” The young man replied, “I don’t have a computer or an email.” “I’m sorry,” said the employer, “If you don’t have an email this means you do not exist officially. And someone who doesn’t exist, cannot have the job.” The young man left with only 10 dollars to his name. He went to a supermarket, bought a crate of tomatoes and sold them door to door. In less than two hours, he had 20 dollars. He did this three times and finished up with 60 dollars. He realized he could survive this way, and started early and worked late. Soon, he bought a hand cart, then a truck, and finally he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles. Five years later, his company was one of the biggest food wholesalers and he decided he needed some life insurance. He called an insurance broker, chose a policy and the broker asked him for his email address. The man replied: “I don’t have an email address.” Amazed, the broker replied, “You don’t have an email, and yet you have succeeded in building an empire. Do you imagine what you might have achieved if you had an email?” The man paused, and replied, “I could have been an office boy!”

The Sunday School Teacher

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Miss Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child.

Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”

Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Miss Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”

Your Stars

Mar. 21 - April 20

Spend time with your lover this month. Your relationship is undergoing some changes. Communication will be your best bet. You will be your usual charming self and the partners you attract may be the adventurous type. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Friday.

Sept. 24 - Oct. 23

Don’t expect anything for nothing and you won’t be disappointed. Look into career choices and courses being offered. You can get ready to celebrate your new direction. Be careful not to come on too strongly. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Thursday.

Apr. 21

- May 21

Enjoy the company of relatives this month. Take time to reevaluate your motives regarding friendships. Unexpected events may upset your routine. Your intellectual charm will entice mates who have common interests. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Wednesday.

Oct. 24

- Nov. 22

You can make money if you’re willing to push your ideas on those in a position to support your efforts. Don’t be too quick to judge those you live with. Do not sign contracts or get involved in any uncertain financial deals. Entertainment could cost you more than you expect. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Saturday.

May 22 - June 21

Take a close look at documents be fore signing on the dotted line. Reevaluate your situation. You can beautify your surroundings by renovating or redecorating. New partnerships will develop if you join investment groups. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Monday.

Nov. 23

- Dec. 21

Overstatement will be your downfall. Rid yourself of that which is old and no longer of use. You will need to spend extra time sorting through your work. You can expect opposition at work. Don’t let your competition be privy to information that could be in criminating. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Tuesday.

June 22 - July 22

Dig deep, ferret out any hidden concerns be fore you sign your life away Be cautious when dealing with coworkers. Those close to your heart may be difficult to reason with. You are best to listen for the time being. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Tuesday.

Dec. 22

- Jan. 20

Curl up with a good book or go for a drive in the country. You may be sensitive to a point of absurdity. You can make successful moves. Don’t let your anger consume you and don’t allow important matters go unattended to. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Wednesday.

July 23

- Aug 22

Unexpected bills may set you back. Money problems will be difficult to deal with if you have a partner. Travel will be most enticing. Consider a cruise. It might be time to pick up the slack and do your share. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Monday.

Jan. 21

- Feb. 19

Investments are best left alone this month. Think twice before you volunteer information. Keep your thoughts to yourself for the time being. You will find the perfect outfit if you shop this month. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Monday.

Aug. 23 - Sept. 23

Travel for business will be advantageous. You will be emotional when dealing with coworkers or employers. You may be uncertain about some of your coworkers and your boss. Deceit around you is evident. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Monday.

Feb. 20

- Mar. 20

Plan your social events carefully. Travel will be fun, but expect it to cost you. Your relationship appears to be stressed out and depleted. Your emotional life may be up in the air if your mate has been going through a change of heart. Your luckiest events this month will occur on a Friday.