12 Tips for Any Student Writing Any Essay for Any Class by Allen Loibner-Waitkus

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TIPS FOR ANY STUDENT WRITING ANY ESSAY FOR ANY CLASS

BY ALLEN LOIBNER-WAITKUS

While I may not be the best writer in the world (or even the best English professor), I have graded more than thirty thousand essays in my career, so I know a thing or two about what students can do to earn higher grades on their essays and—more importantly—how to write academic essays your reader will actually want to read.

These are just some of the tips I have compiled in my twenty-five years teaching college-level writing. For more (and better) tips on being the best writer you can be, I suggest reading Kurt Vonnegut and Suzanne McConnell’s Pity the Reader: On Writing with Style and Annie Dillard’s The Writing Life.

RELAX.

If you get anxious when you write, stop it. Your essay will give you away, and the reader will know. It’s not a public speech or a calculus exam. Talk yourself down. Breathe. Meditate. Take a Xanax. Do whatever it takes to relax.

GO WITH WHAT YOU KNOW.

Sometimes essay assignments are very specific, but instructors often allow you to choose your own topic. If you choose something you love, it will show in your writing, and your readers will appreciate it—even if it’s not something they love.

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HAVE A PLAN, MAN.

I am not a fan of spending hours before writing an essay constructing the perfect formal outline. I am also not a fan of chaotic, disjointed essays. Before you start drafting, you need to have an organized plan for your essay. You can always change it.

HOOK ‘EM.

A boring first sentence or introduction sets the tone for the rest of the essay. If you lose your reader early on, it’s very difficult to get them back. The start of your essay doesn’t have to be a life changing, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.

DON’T MAKE IT ABOUT YOU.

Narrative essays should be written in the first person and are usually about you; otherwise, avoid using “I” and don’t talk about yourself. Even if you think you have the best example from your own life, there’s a better one out there. Trust me.

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KEEP YOUR READER READING.

This may shock you, but readers stop reading things that they don’t want to read. Even though instructors HAVE to read your essays to grade them, make them WANT to read them. As Kurt Vonnegut is famous for writing, “Pity the reader.”

JUST SAY IT ALREADY.

Whether trying to sound smart or fulfill a minimum-word requirement, students often repeat themselves, ramble without really saying anything, or write as verbosely as humanly possible.

Get to the freaking point and cut the crap that isn’t necessary .

DON’T WRITE LIKE GOD.

Thou shalt not attempt to sound erudite by choosing pedantic or archaic words. Just because you’re writing an academic essay doesn’t mean you should choose complicated, hifalutin language.

No one likes a know-it-all, so don’t write like one.

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TAKE RISKS.

Basketball players who only take shots they know they’ll make aren’t great basketball players. While there are certain rules everyone should follow, there’s no exact formula for the perfect essay. Take some chances. Shake things up.

STICK THE LANDING.

Writing is like gymnastics: no one cares how great the rest of the routine is if the gymnast eats it during the dismount. A dreadful conclusion—no matter how great the rest of your essay is—will be all your reader remembers.

MAKE IT PRETTY.

There’s no reason to over design your essay, but you need to follow the MLA rules of formatting and keep it clean. Make sure it’s in a serif, but unless instructed otherwise, you don’t have to use Times. Give Garamond, Minion, or Palatino a shot.

REVISE. EDIT. PROOFREAD.

When you write the last sentence of your essay, you’re only half done. Cut crap you don’t need, move things around if necessary, and look for better words. Proofread your essay, and then have someone else proofread it for you.

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