All in a Name

As a child, I absolutely hated my name. Elaine didn’t feel like me at all. “Only old people go by Elaine,” is what I used to say. From watching TV, I wanted to change my name to Daisy or to Tiny. Never wanting Elaine.

In middle school, when I was still finding who I was and where I belonged, I played on my last name, DeGuzman, and called myself “Da Juice Man.” That’s how some people knew me and I liked it that way; I even used it as an escape to seem “more American.” It was a fresh, new name. With it, I became somewhat rebellious just to impress other people. These “friends” did not share the same interests or cultures as me, but I tried to keep their validation. I got caught in the trap of creating a persona that seemed cool and carefree. Then it fortunately died out. Elaine Da Juice Man was not a good representation of who I truly was. Elaine Da Juice Man was a completely different person, who portrayed an alternate version of myself that did not exist.

By ninth grade, I stopped caring about how people viewed me. I just went with the flow and became less influenced by my surroundings. I even disassociated myself from my “friends” in middle school, so Da Juice Man completely vanished from everyone’s minds. A perk of the transition from middle school to high school was the ability to start anew and be perceived with a clean slate. With more opportunities to be active in the school community, I joined many clubs and extracurriculars where everyone knew me as just Elaine DeGuzman, and it was the freshest restart one could ever have. As I progressed throughout my high school experience- even though I’m not done- I earned people’s respect, trust, and friendship.

Now, I see that my name reflects who I really am. I am proud of my growth, I am proud of my impact on society, and I am proud that I can see the value of my name. Now that I’ve grown, I learned to absolutely love my name.

ByElaineDeGuzman