“A Kidnapping Gone Wrong” by Jeremiah N. Brown

“A Kidnapping Gone Wrong”

By Jeremiah N. Brown

So about a few weeks from now, I was startled to see what appeared to be the back of a moving van. I immediately realized that I had been kidnapped, and sloppily at that. I wasn't tied up or supervised. I could tell that they had used chloroform to knock me unconscious while I was unconscious. I knew this because there was a big jug of colorless liquid with chloroform written on it, as well as a cloth next to it. The use of chloroform was another mistake since I metabolized things faster than normal, so I had woken up three hours early. The only smart thing they had done was kidnap me while I was sleeping. Unfortunately, I was sleeping peacefully before I was so rudely kidnapped. Luckily, my pjs were also sports wear.

A few seconds after realizing all of this, I did what any rational person would do in such a situation. I flooded the cloth with chloroform and dumped the jug on the guy in the passenger seat. He screamed in pain. Oddly enough, the pain was the only thing keeping him conscious as the chloroform started to take effect. While he was screaming, which was starting to get annoying, I covered the driver's face with the cloth until he stopped moving and the car started swerving. That's how I knew he was unconscious. And the other guy stopped complaining about his eyes, so I knew he was out. Finally, I thought to myself.

So again as any rational person would in this situation, I climbed into the driver's seat and took control. There was only one thought on my mind: I don't have a license or experience driving. Excluding video games of course. Luckily, I figured it out and

almost died only three times, which was much less than expected. I pulled onto the side of the road and climbed out the car. “That guy makes a horrible chair,” I said. I then opened the back and moved the limp, unconscious would-be kidnappers to the back where I immediately noticed rope, zip ties, handcuffs, duct tape, and a manual on How to Restrain People for Dummies—all next to the spot where I had woken up. I was extremely disappointed in these guys. If you're going to kidnap someone, at least do it right, ya know.

After properly restraining them with tape, cuffs, and zip ties, I searched them for any items. I found three phones, a walkie talkie, one knife, t wo wallets, some spare black gloves, and some gum. I decided I would keep all of it. While I was chewing some gum, I had gotten back in the driver's seat, put the gloves on, and was going through the text messages of the driver's phone. He had 23 missed calls from a contact named Mom. I found a group chat that seemed to be discussing a plan to kidnap someone. The description was of Keith Burns, a black male age 16-23 who lived by himself on 7337 Bear Drive. They had kidnapped me from 7337 Pear Drive, which was 10 miles from their destination and 3 miles from our current location.

I had nothing better to do, so I decided to go there and find out what they wanted with him. About 27 minutes later, I got there, found his place, and noticed the door was ajar, and it seemed to be forced open.

I grabbed the knife I had found and slowly opened the door. It creaked open at a snail's pace. As soon as I entered, I saw a small room, which appeared to be the living room. There were two bodies lying on the floor. I thought to myself, Gloves for the win—no fingerprints. I checked for a pulse, and they were just unconscious. There was a trail of blood leading into a

room in the back. I followed it and found another unconscious body with a gunshot wound to the knee, which appeared to be bandaged by a nearly unconscious man sitting up against a wall. I grabbed and stowed the loose gun. As I approached the man, I said, “Hey, you, wake up; you Keith?”

He jolted up and said, “Yea, last time I checked, and who are you, mister knife guy?”

I put the knife away and said, “Just a guy call me KJ.”

He replied, “Well, KJ, what you doing in my house? You don't look like you with them.”

“Tryna figure out who they are and what they want with you.”

“Why?” he asked.

“Because t wo dummies don't know the difference between Pear and Bear.”

He chuckled and said , “Timmy and Tony. Those suckers dumb.”

“How you know these guys, and what they want with you?”

“Their boss thinks I want his girl; well, the girl he thinks is his, but she rude and hard to look at.”

“I feel you there, man. These guys looked trained; are you?” I asked.

“Boxing and some light gun training. You?”

“Nah, I'm just good,” I answered. He chuckled.

“You don't look too hurt, so why you slipping?” He pointed to the ground near the other guy’s head. It was a tranq dart. I noticed some when I walked in but couldn't tell who got hit with them. I pulled out the gun, which was suppressed and shot t wice near him.

He jolted up looking confused.

“Well, you're awake now; you're welcome,” I said and handed him his gun. I left the room and searched the other guys

and came back with t wo guns with suppressors, holsters, and some other things. “Where's my thank you?”

“You want me to thank you for scaring me?”

“No, I want you to thank me for waking you.”

“Yea, whatever.”

“Well, now that we know that you don't know how to say thank you, what now?” I asked.

“Well, normally, in the movies, they go to the big boss and take him out, but that sounds like a lot of work.”

“Big fax,” I agreed.

“Well, you can't stay here.”

“True.”

“You wanna come chill at my place?”

“Yea, I'm down.” He grabbed a few essentials while I moved Timmy and Tony to the house.

We arrived at my house, and I let him have the guest room. We watched some action movies that night.

A few months later, he's my roommate and close friend. One evening while walking home from the gym, Keith noticed something or rather someone. It was the big boss. “Yo, KJ, that's the big boss.”

“For real, bro? Let's jump him.”

“Bet.” We charged him, jumped him, then ran back home giggling like children.